Comments on: Why You Need To Get The Narcissist Out Of Your Head https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Wed, 01 Apr 2020 10:05:06 +0000 hourly 1 By: Crystal Beaver https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1234893 Wed, 01 Apr 2020 10:05:06 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1234893 In reply to Tuesday Aton.

I went through the exact same thing with my 2 daughters. I had children with a psychopath and didnt realize he was one. My children both are def on that spectrum. It can happen when an empath and psychopath have a baby. I tried taking them to therapy starting at 5y.o but all they did was lie to therapists and whoever would believe them. They’re now 20 & 21 and still lying and manipulating people. My heart goes out to you a lot of people don’t understand. I would get his behavior on video if that helps so hopefully you will be believed. People didnt believe me especially bc i have girls and they use being female to their advantage. Doctors say they cant diagnose psychopathy spectrum until 18. So what do we do as parents until then? Society needs to wake up.

]]> By: Allison H https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1230679 Mon, 03 Feb 2020 16:04:45 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1230679 Thank you for the article. After reading literally hundreds of articles on narcissism and narcissistic abuse (clearly I’d reached by obsessive stage after being abused by my narc husband for 5 years), this is the one that finally clicked for me. I’ve been relying on my brain for hours at a time daily to try to figure this all out, and that’s only exacerbated the damage. I literally exhaled after reading this. I’m sure I have some internal healing and exploration to do, but I can finally stop my focus from being on him or on how he could do what he did. That was exhausting and utterly pointless. Thank you again.

]]> By: Valerie https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1216437 Tue, 05 Nov 2019 07:36:41 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1216437 Hello Melanie,
I left my husband of 29 years in March. I am doing all sorts of self-care and therapy but am finding myself in highs and lows and just can’t seem to shake him. It’s like I still love the false image I had of him. My head knows that I am better off without him, but my heart aches. Then I get pissed and sad and then have a few days where I feel strong. I cried while reading your entire article because so much of it makes sense to me. And I lived it for the entirety of our 36 year relationship…love bombing, gas lighting, infidelity, lying…all of it. From all the reading I’ve done, I know that leaving a narcissist is probably one of the most painful, difficult things a person can do, and now I’m living that reality and it hurts terribly. Our kids are 28 and 23 so the divorce doesn’t have to worry about custody, but I’m right next door (long story) and see / hear him coming and going. IT’S TORTURE and I feel like I’m losing it and it feels impossible to get him out of my brain! I am trying no contact as much as possible but we have to communicate about shared expenses (I have my own account now) and properties that we will divide soon. HELP! Thanks so much!

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1202049 Thu, 22 Aug 2019 23:22:43 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1202049 In reply to Yzn.

Hi Yzn,

it’s my pleasure.

The solution is my NARP Program – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

Love and blessings to you

Mel 🙏💞💛

]]> By: Yzn https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1201990 Thu, 22 Aug 2019 13:51:32 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1201990 hello,

thank you for the precious information.

please let us know what is the healing process for these wounds.

what we can do to make the mind stop.

thanks

]]> By: C4t https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1112773 Sat, 01 Dec 2018 19:56:17 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1112773 Somewhat tldr. “Stop thinking, start healing” is golden though. The problem is , unless you are in a safe place and have established no contact, this will not be sustainable. If no contact is not possible because of children, then an emotional support system must be in place.
Your basic message is correct, but be aware the new agey statements like no one ever has power over you come from a place of very white privilege. There are plenty of non criminal, emotionally well adjusted POC who will dispute that characterisation of reality at the best of times. Add an encounter with a predatory narc? Some people are lucky to escape with their shirts on their back. Blaming them for someone making their life harder is not the way.
We are collectively responsible for holding narcs to account through the legl system, restraining order s and material support for people so they can heal.

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1019850 Thu, 05 Apr 2018 04:53:54 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1019850 In reply to Paige.

Hi Paige,

I hear you so much and my heart goes out to you. I remember feeling exactly the same what you are going through – either way, leaving or staying feeling like you cant survive this.

Please Paige come into my free webinar – I know I can help you there so much https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

Mel xo

]]> By: Paige https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1019637 Wed, 04 Apr 2018 16:28:31 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1019637 Thank you so much for this writing, I myself suffer daily from being in a relationship with a sadistic psychopath, I am very lucky to be alive, I constantly struggle with the trauma bond turns to obsession, everything you wrote I feel it makes me feel less crazy because I do feel this is driving me insaine.
Even though he replaced me he keeps just showing up at my house then my emotions take over and I end up being with him. I have feelings of repulsion as well as a small part of me wanting him to contact me, I know it’s “normal” to have these feelings but when will they end?
I see a therapist weekly because I also suffer from ptsd and major depression over this relationship, Iseems he is doing so much better now without me I try and delude myself into thinking he might have changed but the truth is I know within my heart he can not change due to faulty wiring, he has no empathy, no conscience, is a pathological lied ect… he has taken everything from me self dignity, self respect and even most of my soul, and all I did was love him and try to understand and help him.
I try so had to realize the shame and guilt I feel daily was his doing planned everything, he used to just start fights for no reason then say I was the crazy,, jealous, always accused me of cheating and the one who was ruining everything even told other people this -and of course since he is so good as an actor they believed him, mean while it was him who was doing that I never had proof of him cheating but I know it in my heart,
The whole thing made me question my own sanity, he admitted to me he loved confusing me, the really sad part is that my gut feeling was so wrenching with despair when I was with him yet I was addicted to him or at least the craziness…. I continually read as much as I can and everything makes sense yet I keep obsessing nothing helps, at least when I read your article it didn’t feel so alone, because NOONE understands unless you have been threw it!
I feel so depressed, and discussed with myself I know it’s going to take so much time which gets me more depressed but at least I have survived! I know there is strength somewhere within me because I have been threw so much in my life yet I would have to say this is the worst.
To anyone who is going threw this you are not alone and hopefully in time which everyone says will heal at least better than this, and much love to all of you

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-you-need-to-get-the-narcissist-out-of-your-head/#comment-1015636 Sun, 25 Mar 2018 07:17:30 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1193#comment-1015636 In reply to Nicole.

Hi Nicole,

I recently did this video which I hope can help you on exactly this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FEY5jkpCQo

Wishing you and your son strength and breakthrough with this.

Me xo

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