(If you have suffered INTENSE abuse, I highly recommend reading and viewing.)

This talk was so pivotal because many people in our wonderful community are still hurting a lot at the hands of a narcissist.

And … I know because I was once there, too; there just doesn’t seem to be a way to recover from abuse at this level. It’s so HARD …

You may be one of these people suffering, not getting out of the abuse, and not getting better, NO matter what you try to do.

I want you to know that you are not alone and that some solutions can help.

This Thriver Story is about an incredible lady called Kristy.

Kristy went through years of unspeakable abuse at the hands of a narcissist. She was torn down, piece by piece, until she was completely broken, controlled, and terrorized and very nearly did not make it.

Kristy’s situation was in the Australian Domestic Violence system time after time.

By the time Kristy finally got out of a 20-year brutally violent relationship, she was so broken and sick that it certainly didn’t seem like her recovery was possible. (My heart goes out to YOU if you feel the same way ❤)

Today, Kristy has zero abuse symptoms, none of her previous diagnosis symptoms, and is fearless about facing her ex in court.

She is now healthy and happy and immersed in her soul mission.

HOW was this possible? Usually, it’s JUST not!

Check out exactly how this was here:

And … watch HOW Kristy recovered from unspeakable trauma below!

But before you do, please check out Kristy’s before-and-after photos. The “before” one was taken on her recovery journey, and the “after” photo is how Kristy is today!

Video Transcript

Mel: Welcome, Dear Community, to a Thriver Talk today. I have the beautiful Kristy with me; her story is amazing. Kirsty contacted me and said, I want to share my story with the community.

I’m super excited about this because I know Kristy is going to inspire and help a lot of people when it looks like it’s hopeless and there’s no way out. This is a big story. So anyway, Kristy, let’s jump into this. We’re just going to start off with you having had a narcissist in your life. And this was a very high-level narcissist.

But first of all, thank you so much for coming on. It’s great to have you.

Kristy: Thank you for having me. I’m really blessed to be here, and I’m so excited about this!

Mel: Same… Okay, so the narcissist in your life was not just any garden variety narcissist. Please describe what the abuse was.

Kristy: The abuse was horrific. All the things it was sexual, physical, mental, emotional, and financial. Everything that could have happened… did happen. It was for a very long time. I was in the relationship for 20 years. His main weapon of choice was the children. First was my oldest son, and then I had twins. Reading your programs gave me a lot of knowledge about the relationship dynamic between the golden child, the scapegoat, and then the forgotten child.

I had a long history of domestic abuse…or narcissistic abuse, so by the end of the relationship, I was in a really bad way.

Mel: And the thing is, too, as I know from your story, police were involved so many times because you really were a domestic violence victim going through the system with police, and twenty years is a long, long time, and it started early. You were very young when the violence started.

Kristy: Yeah, I was only 19, and I was targeted. I didn’t have much family. My mother passed away when I was younger, my dad wasn’t there, and I ended up in care, which meant I then ended up with core abandonment wounds and was searching for love in all the wrong places. And then, obviously, the narcissist came along and was my knight in shining armor and professed to love me, and nobody else would love me, and that just filled all of those gaps. So, I was easily manipulated, young, with no guidance, little family, and little experience.

Mel: And then things get added to that, and exactly that is your whole identity, being a mum and stuff like that. The breakdown. Okay, so how did you leave him? I know how you left him, and it’s pretty dramatic.

Kristy: Yeah, so at the very end of it, I was completely suicidal. I was in a really bad way; I couldn’t function, I couldn’t think properly. I was suffering horrendously, and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it anymore, Melanie, and he attacked me so violently one night, and my son had to step in and stop him from killing me. And that was it. It was either that or I was going to die. So, I ended up fleeing in the middle of the night, and I ended up…this is in Sydney, New South Wales, in Wyong mental health unit. And that’s how I eventually got out of the domestic violence, through the mental health system.

Mel: And the diagnoses… let’s talk about those you were given.

Kristy: So, I was given CPTSD, situational psychosis, disassociation, depression, and anxiety. I also had a cognitive impairment, which affected my reading and writing, and I had a stutter; yep… that’s enough. That’s a lot, I was in a terrible way.

Mel: Yeah, yeah, physically, mentally, emotionally, it’s as bad as it gets. So, how long ago were you in that place?

Kristy: I was in Wyong Mental Health Unit 4 and a half years ago, and I was told by the doctors that I would be on disability benefits for the rest of my life with the severity of my trauma because the abuse was so severe.

Mel: Well, look at you now!

Kristy:  And I’m not on disability benefits!

Mel: You’re beautiful, you’re glowing! Later in this interview, we’ll share because Kristy is living her dharma. She is out there in the world!

Wait until you hear…It is so inspirational, but obviously, we had…you know. A to B, we had you half dead, or probably 90 percent dead, and now today…so the healing journey…what happened?… How?

Kristy: So obviously, when I got out of mental health, I had to take medication to stabilize my brain because I was in such a bad way. But what that enabled me to do was be able to…well actually, I will start with how I came across your amazing programs… it was definitely guided, like, I landed with you at the exact right time I needed it, and from that moment when I downloaded NARP. I just think it’s important that I say this: when I fled, I fled with nothing, so I didn’t have a home…you know, I fled with nothing like most survivors do. But your programs were affordable enough. I was just getting…I obviously couldn’t work at that time. Still, I needed your programs, and it was affordable enough for me to be able to …and I think that’s a key component because financial abuse is a big component of narcissistic abuse.

Mel: It always is…

Kristy: Yeah, having access to your programs and somatic healings changed my life.

Mel: So, how did you heal the brain damage? Okay, alright, so the brain damage is now healed, ah, huh? Because my brain damage healed too with Quantum Freedom Healing, did you target the brain damage directly, or did you just keep releasing what arose with triggers? How did you do the Quantum Freedom Healing Journey to heal from the inside out?

Kristy: yeah, this is fairly important because the tools are there for everyone’s journeys, and they differ for what traumas they have to target. In the beginning, I was horrifically full of trauma. It was just clearing anything and everything out, just clearing, clearing, clearing. I worked diligently and am very proud of myself because I put the work in.

Mel: And that is so key… because people like you with the massive turnaround, and people like me, it’s because we absolutely put that inner work in.

Kristy: I just had complete faith that I was where I needed to be, doing what I needed to do to get me to where I am now. And as the journey went on in my healing, obviously, the universe would provide different things, and I would have different challenges. And then I’d target key things as my healing journey went along, particularly with the smear campaign. Oh, God! I just can’t even tell you how bad it is. Of course.

Mel: For malignant narcissists, it’s another level, and my ex was similar to this, too. Right… we’ve got similar journeys…yeah..the smear campaigns are something else.      And listeners know they’ve gone through this, too.

Kristy: It’s next level…

Mel:  And people out there know…they’ve gone through this..

Kristy: It’s horrific, I don’t think. If you haven’t walked it, I can’t even describe how horrific it is.

Mel: You could not, and you could not be prepared for it because it is unthinkable!

Kristy: It’s unthinkable! Yeah, he was the victim, and I was the villain, and the smearing went on for so many years that I didn’t even know it was happening. By the time it came to light, I was the drug addict, I was the abuser, I was all the things, so it is so difficult to identify what you’re not only just feeling from the abuse from a narcissist but that also fighting for your life to survive against a community of people and its…yep…it’s a hard journey. If I didn’t have your modules or someone who understood what I was going through, just one person … that makes me a bit teary. I don’t think I would have survived without you, Melanie. I wouldn’t have survived without you and your program and the healing. I wouldn’t be here today.

Mel: Oh, Kristy, were you in the NARP Forums…did you?

Kristy: I didn’t so much, obviously, because I was a Gold Member; I was just healing and healing and healing, and I can’t tell you how many times I have done your courses. I would constantly go back and re-read things, and it’s like gold in a book. How come we’re not taught these things?

Mel: I know. And we’re not. And then, even when you get into psychology, it’s like a whole deeper level again that’s going on because I studied all the counseling and psychology. Still, it wasn’t until this inside-out somatic journey that I said, “Oh, my God! Now it makes sense…like it really makes sense.”

That is awesome. You put the work in, and you know, that thing you were saying about the smearing. That’s the persecution programs that are so. It’s such a hum…a normal human skirmish that we have, but if we’ve got it, we are really susceptible to narcissistic abuse, and it’s serving up all that stuff.

So, okay, trauma symptoms, you had them through the roof…right… you had the C-PTSD…Okay, so how’s all that now?

Kristy: I am better than … like, how to describe it? I’m better than obviously before I even… before abuse. But I’m even better than that. Because now I’m going to other people and doing all these amazing things. But I also want to touch on this…when my brain started healing. I started getting control of my triggers, and then I had the knowledge behind them as well, which your programs provided me with. I started being able to communicate clearly, particularly with police, and keeping myself grounded by collating my information, not reacting, targeting my triggers, and doing all the things that you teach in your program, and feelings and things started to shift for me.

Mel: Because he got brought to justice, yeah

Kristy: Yeah… It’s phenomenal. Like my best friends and I, we just go, “What?”…

Mel: Walk us through a bit of that because this is important.

Kristy: So I obviously had a massive journey with the police because he was so violent. And while I was in that heavy trauma, and he was smearing, he kept getting away with it.

Mel: And when we are in trauma, they do, until it shifts…yep

Kristy: And then they don’t.  Exactly…So, by me shifting and coming into my power and being able to stay calm and grounded, not reacting, collating my information, getting rid of the persecution programs, also getting rid of…I think 5 and 7…the fear was big, and then the injustice was so stuck because I was in so much pain from the injustice…

Mel: Of course… it’s horrific!

Kristy: So, things started to turn around once I cleared that out. I was getting the right police, I ended up with amazing detectives who supported me beyond measure, and I ended up with the right domestic violence services. I ended up in the right courts…I ended up…just everything started to fall into place, and it is so true. I heard you when you said, “It’s an inside-out job. Just keep healing. Just keep healing.” And I did.

Mel: And you know, sadly, Kristy, so many people have experiences with broken systems. They get the wrong police, they get the wrong courtroom, the wrong judge, and they get the wrong solicitor, even narcissistic solicitors. That is absolutely everybody’s experience until they understand Quantum Law – so within, so without.

When we’re vibrating in horrific narcissistic abuse and trauma, then everything you’re connecting to is only going to traumatize you more.

Kristy: Exactly.

Mel: This is hard to teach people; this is a spiritual battle. It’s not a practical battle; no thinking and doing will get you through this. The Being-ness has to shift frequency, and then you win the war.

What happened to him?

Kristy: We’re still in court, trial coming up. Unfortunately, after May, there was a second victim of the assault. So, there’s an additional charge for her. But he’s on strict conditions for bail, and I’m thriving. I’ve cleared all my fear about it and handed it over. And it’s all just going to work out how it should. In the meantime, I only focus on myself, my healing, my journey, and my mission to help others. So, justice did and is still coming, but regardless, I’ve won because I’m now the best version of myself I have ever been.

Mel: This is the whole point. This is…you know…I could talk for three hours on the stuff that you just said…you know…unpack it, but it is all there in what you just said. Because in trauma, we’re waiting for something on the outside to change to get us untraumatized, and it never comes, and it never works. But this way, it usually does come when you don’t need it because you’re already liberated into your best self.

Kristy: I am, and I’m entirely at peace. And I wake up each day, and I’m happy. Was the journey tough? Of course, it was because I had so much trauma. But I have to keep saying this…I dedicated myself to my healing because I was worth that. I was worth being pain-free. I wanted to break the intergenerational traumas. I didn’t like this cycle to continue. I wanted to be that cycle breaker, and I knew that I deserved to have a beautiful life and be pain-free, as does everybody. And unfortunately, when I read your programs, I’m like, why don’t they teach this stuff? I was so codependent, I didn’t know boundaries…I…urgh.

Mel: When were any of us taught this…unless you had a parent that actually had that stuff down pat…and modeled it, and they didn’t, you know, it’s so rare to find somebody who’s got natural self-worth and self-value and good boundary function. And certainly, for all of us in this community…we just did not have that!

Kristy: No…yep… I was highly codependent when I read you…I was..oh my God…but I guess it pains to a certain degree, other than your own healing and taking care of yourself. You can’t control them. And you, if you stay focused on them and not yourself, you’re not liberating yourself. You’re not coming home to yourself. You’re not loving yourself and filling yourself up with everything you deserve. And I think that’s the essence of it. It’s coming home to self.

Mel: I love it when you rise vibrationally above abuse by taking your soul, your spirit, and everything back the way it was always meant to be. When you overcome that fear and break down, you become pretty fearless.

People will tell you contemporary things, such as what I heard in my breakdown. You will never going to be the same again. You will always have diminished trust in yourself and life and others. I was told I would need 3 anti-psychotics for the rest of my life because my brain broke so badly. We are told, “This is the best you can expect after what happened to you,” whereas

the best is yet to come.

Kristy: It’s not the truth. And I think when I was guided and landed on your program and all your teachings, I watched every single one of your videos religiously like I was just hooked because my soul knew that that’s what I needed. I didn’t conform to being told I would always be that way.

I was always going to be on medication, and it wasn’t long after I started your NARP program I was able to stop taking medication. I needed medication initially to level me out, but then, as soon as I started my healing, the trauma really shifted quite quickly. And it’s a big difference between medicating symptoms, trying to numb out symptoms, or actually releasing and healing at the core. The work you do is invaluable. And I knew with my soul, as soon as I landed on it, that this was my key. This was my way out of my journey back to myself. This was it. And I prepared to commit to do whatever it took.

Mel: Before you came forward and asked to share your story, I’d never met you because I didn’t see you in the forum. I love that lives and souls are being saved, which I don’t know about! And what I’m super-duper excited about with you, Kristy, is you are making a big difference in the world now.

I want everybody to know this: Our biggest breakdowns, the things that have hurt us, and the things we need to learn and heal the most are usually the things we will share with the world.

Not as an unhealed person. There are too many people doing that. “I’m really unhealed, and I’m still toxified. And I’m trying to help others.” Kind of like an airplane where they put oxygen masks on people but haven’t put them on themselves first.

What are you doing? Let’s share with the community what you’re up to.

Kristy: I just wanted to say one other thing about the healings: I think this is good information. I put on the oxygen mask for myself, but that, in turn, helped me be more solid for my children. So us mama bears are so, you know … that was my drive to be my best self for myself and for my children, and it made me better. I could stay calm, clear, supportive, and show up differently. I was no longer a parent coming from abuse. This gave me the ability to be what I always wanted to be.

It’s a thousand times better for my children than we were. But in terms of what I’m doing now, I’m advocating. I work closely with the police and our departments of communities and justice. I tell my story at many events to inspire people to be able to heal and come back to themselves. I changed my mindset through education, education within different spaces on trauma recovery, and the fact that we can heal because there is a belief in services that we can’t heal.

It’s so crazy. Standing here, I’m living proof. I’m trying to raise as much awareness as possible. I can say that we can heal and recover even better than before the abuse, and I also do some coaching on the side to support victims of domestic abuse in different services with trauma recovery as well.

I just spoke at Parliament this morning, Sydney. So, I’m out there. I help normalize the discussions about abuse. Having been given a voice, I also run some panel discussions with victim survivors so that they can share their stories. We’re not hiding in the shadows in shame but bringing their voices out to the community. So, I also do that.

Mel: That’s fantastic, Kristy. Where can people find you so that you can help support them?

Kristy: My Facebook Page is Kristy Drower, and Instagram – Kristydrower_

That’s where people can find me.

I just want to say that we’ve touched on it. However, the knowledge gained in your program is invaluable. It really is. And when I say they should be teaching this stuff, they should be, and I really want to advocate for that because living your life from a codependent self is always handing your power away instead of being empowered. As soon as I could make that shift and start implementing some of your teachings, it changed my life. It really changed my life, and I can’t. I just can’t say enough how blessed my life is now just from landing in the right space at the right time and how invaluable what you do is for the community.

There’s nothing out there like this. Obviously, there are other people out there, but it’s not like you, Melanie.

Mel: Thank you. Thank you.

Kristy: I’ve got it all. I’ve even taken the Empowered Self Course and the Family of Origin Course, and I’ve got it all.

And the Speedy Shifts are great for me. Now that I’m so busy enjoying my life and doing many things. They are great in the morning. If anything comes up for me, I’ve got something quick and easy to access, and it’s a fast shift. I find them really, really useful. And then, if I’ve got something deeper that pops up, I can do a full clearing. There are just so many different options within your course. They all work

They fit whatever works for you, whatever you’re targeting, whatever trauma. Now, I’m so advanced using your healing. I just know where to go. I know what I’m doing, and I pick up what I need and get straight to it. And I feel instant relief. It’s phenomenal.

Coming from where I’ve come from, I could be where I am right now, and I’m eternally grateful. And I was saying, Melanie, before I did this interview, I told everyone I would make my idol. I’m just so thankful.

Mel: Well, we’re all in this together, and I’m just so thrilled that people like you and I are on this journey. I know I wouldn’t have survived if I hadn’t have found tools to shift, There’s no way. And what I love is you’re on your dharma. What happened is exactly what catapulted you into your life’s mission. You are on song with your life’s work. Our greatest tragedies become the most incredible triumphs if we shift them if we do the inner work.

Kristy: It’s a key component when you learn that you don’t have to hold on to the trauma. You don’t actually have to keep it. I would love to show before and after photos of what I was like when I got out of mental health. My physical and internal everything is completely different about me, and that is from shifting out that trauma.

Mel: And I think we’ve got them. If you’re happy to share, we will share that because it’s amazing.

Mel: Kristy, do you have any last words of wisdom before we end this amazing interview.

Kristy: Keep Healing. The answer is in you. Just keep healing. I also want to recognize that it’s a hard journey; there were breakdowns, and I was in a lot of horrific pain. But just keep healing. That’s my message.

Mel: Kristy, thank you so much for coming on and for your generosity in sharing your time with us. I hope everybody really enjoyed this Thriver Talk, and we hope that it inspires you to know that narcissistic abuse is not a life sentence, a death sentence, or a soul sentence. There’s an incredible life waiting on the other side.

Conclusion

It was a joy to interview Kristy Dower, an amazing lady who shared her passion and aspiration to help people recover from trauma. Kristy’s dedication and commitment to abuse victims are truly inspiring, and she positively impacts the world!

Kristy’s words touched my heart, and I am sure she will do the same for anyone who connects with her. Kristy is a shining example of what it means to be of service and make a difference in this world. If you want to learn more about Kristy and her work, please contact her on Facebook or Instagram.

Check out The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which Kristy used to recover from unspeakable abuse and breakdown, then Thrive.

I look forward to your questions and comments below.

Today, I’m sharing with you an incredibly important Thriver Talk with Lorraine.

Lorraine is inspirational. She has been out of her narcissistic relationship for only 4 ½ months and is Thriving!

She feels great, she looks great, and she is the happiest she can remember being.

You may ask, are you sure she was with a narcissist? Yes, she was.

Maybe she couldn’t have been terribly broken? She was.

Lorraine had suffered major adrenal issues, chronic depression, thyroid problems, and regular breakdowns, and her life had been falling apart for YEARS previously.

“Years” being the operative word …

Lorraine had been with her ex-narcissist for 45 years in TOTAL!

He was all she had ever known her entire adult life. And he had controlled her most of that time. She did not have her own security, job, or life!

Like so many women in her position, she had been too terrified to leave. Lorraine did not even think it would be possible to …

… until everything changed for her.

I’d love you to watch Loraine’s interview to discover not only HOW Lorraine got the strength but also how she took her power back, got him to capitulate, and left with hardly ANY fallout or aftershock at all!

Now, at 66, Lorraine is happier and more excited about her future than she could ever imagine!

If you, too, have been stuck, worn down, and think there is no way to leave, get well, and this is a Thriver Talk you don’t want to miss!

If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel or followed me on Facebook, please do so. I’d also love for you to share my work with others who need it and connect with me on Rumble and Instagram.

Video Transcript

Melanie
Welcome, beautiful Thriver community. Mel here. I am so excited because we have a Thriver Talk today. I know a lot of our community is really waiting for this and would like to hear about this because I have the lovely Lorraine with me. Lorraine, thank you so much for coming forward.

Lorraine
Thank you, Mel. So thrilled and honored to be here.

Melanie
Where Lorraine’s story is so powerful because she had 45 years, all of her adult life, really, with a narcissistic partner. We’re going to talk about that journey today and about how Lorraine liberated herself.

I know that there are a lot of people in our community, dear listeners, who are going through this, you have either been stuck in a long-term narcissistic relationship, and maybe you’re still there, and you don’t know how you’re going to get out and survive and reboot your life and maybe you have left, but you are still deeply traumatized and in the aftershock and haven’t broken through to what we call the other side.

So, with great joy, here is Lorraine. Lorraine, we’re going to jump straight in. So 45 years is an enormous time. Now, I’d love you to share with everybody how bad your breakdown was of yourself, what was going on in that relationship, and where it ended up.

Lorraine
Well, with that long of a marriage, you can imagine there’s more than one breakdown, but you know, I didn’t know what I was dealing with for many, many years.

Only three years into the marriage, I saw some cracks. In retrospect, it was always about power and control, especially financial abuse and control. And I was such a good girl. I just thought, okay, this is what marriage is. I just have to go along to get along and be the best wife I can, and so forth.

I entered into this relationship as a strong, independent woman. I was 22 years old, had just graduated from college, moved to a metropolitan area, and met him. He was the typical story male. We had an instant connection, and I thought I’d hit the jackpot.

He was smart and funny and intelligent and ambitious and charming and treated me like a queen. And I, you know, I had never been treated so well, wined and dined and lived together for five years. Many thought I was on top of the world until three years in and pregnant with my first son, getting into our first property, a condo and the money.

Control and power started and other ways of control. And, you know, and it just one thing led to another. I had another son, and we moved to another house, another community. It was decided I would be home with the children and he used it as another device of control with him being money is power, that was his thing.

I had none, and it caused a lot of health issues for me, which kept me down and complacent in a lot of ways. I suffered horribly from depression, just deep depression. Most of the time, I was depressed more than I wasn’t. It was hard. I tried, I just soldiered on. I just was trying to be a good mother and did everything I needed to do. And I had very bad adrenal issues and thyroid issues. I had no energy and brain fog constantly.

I don’t know how I got through it when I look back. I had half a life, you know, aches and pains, weight gains, weight loss, anxiety, never feeling safe. Just, but then as in many marriages and relationships like this, there’s just enough crumbs of good stuff to keep you going, you know?

And I just knew deep down that this was wrong. It wasn’t right. It was crazy-making. There were days when he was at work, and the kids were at school, and I would just go in the car to a remote area and scream my head off. I was so beside myself, knowing something was horribly wrong and not knowing what to do, feeling so helpless, hopeless, and powerless.

I constantly hit my head against the wall to figure this out, figure him out, make things better.

Melanie
Yeah, and I just want to jump in and talk about that, Lorraine, because I know that you were spiritual for a lot of years, and a lot of people who have been in toxic relationships have reached out to spirituality and truth-seeking and are often avid people trying to improve ourselves and heal ourselves to heal our relationships. So what did you do? Like what did you read or what did you connect to?

Lorraine
Well, when the pendulum swung, and I was feeling a tiny bit better, I would, a lot of the people you’ve mentioned, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, I would just read lots of other people. Neale Donald Walsh, I would take classes, I would do affirmations, I would do meditations, I would, I did theta healing, I did herbology, I did nutrition, I did, you know, I did everything. And I learned a lot.

And it felt good in the interim, it helped a little. But as I learned from you later, the missing link really was getting the trauma out, shifting the trauma as somatic. You can’t, as you always eloquently say, you can’t just put ice cream on poop, and it’s just not going to work.

Melanie
Which was the late Debbie Ford’s expression, and I loved it from the moment I heard it because it’s such a great visual, and the trauma is the poop, and we have to get it out.

Lorraine
Yes, it got me to the next and the next points until another downward turn. And it was just this back and forth constantly and no semblance of self. And just each time you just lost a little more of yourself and got more hopeless. Yes, yes, you know.

Melanie
A lot of us would never have gotten through 45 years. So that shows how strong you were and your coping mechanisms, even though you’re breaking down, keep you there. And also, it’s a big deal, you know, when that’s all you’ve known to get out of a relationship.

Lorraine
Right. I invested so much in this relationship and didn’t want to break up my family, but I knew at a gut level that how could I stay in this marriage? And it took a few more breakdowns for me to finally, finally wake up. And for many years, I didn’t know he was a narcissist. I just knew he was toxic.

And that, you know, I think I’ve had several breakdowns, but the first one was really finding out when his career took off in high tech that he was constantly travelling. And I was home alone with the kids, and he’s gone two weeks, three weeks at a time, to Asia and other places.

And I found out he was engaging in sexual liaisons, you know, one-off ones. And my world was rocked and completely broken.

And yet what was really, that part was bad, but the worst part was facing myself in the mirror and seeing and knowing that I was the type of woman that was too, I was so codependent and so traumatized and so scared about leaving that I couldn’t even then.

And a few more breakdowns happened, and he had vision issues but always had good corrective lenses. Things started going downhill for his vision, and he couldn’t drive anymore when we moved to this other state. But he decided to use it as a device of control.

Oh, since I need you to take care of it, I did all the driving, which I had no problem with. I never complained. I was happy to help him, but he decided consciously, oh, I can control her even more now, I can control her whereabouts.

Melanie
So, how did you find out about our Thriver community? How did that happen?

Lorraine
After we moved to this other state, I reconnected with an old college friend. She found out about your NARP program and told me about it. I was blown away because I had just recently found out from my research that he was a narcissist, and that was enough of a shock.

So, finding out about NARP broke everything open for me. I finally had a way. I wanted to leave my marriage. I just didn’t feel I didn’t know how I could do it. I was so entrenched, so trauma-bonded. And then I had names for everything. I had names for the cognitive dissonance, the peptide addiction, and everything I was feeling. You know, I could finally say I’m not crazy here.

Melanie
So it explained what was going on. So, what happened when you started doing the modules? Cause you were still with him at the time. So what happened to you?

Lorraine
Some space opened up inside me. I could see that okay I was scared to death but I was going to babystep this and I did I kept at it, even on days I didn’t feel like it, and more and more space opened up and more and more grace, more and more compassion for myself happened.

The way you design the modules is, in retrospect, so beautiful. You totally understand the process we go through, going from one to the next to the next. I just followed along. I didn’t try to jump around, and it really helped, you know, and it was so true about what you go to next and next.

I kept at it, and the lockdown happened, so I had no excuses. I turned, you know, the lockdown was horrible for everyone. But since I was stuck there with him and I wasn’t, I couldn’t physically leave right away, but I knew if I just stuck to it, I could. And I did, turned my thinking around about the lockdown, and said, you know what? It’s probably the best thing that happened to me because I had no excuses. I had nowhere to go.

No people to see. I had my privacy. I went into one part of the house. He went in the other with his projects. And I said, I’m closing this door. I’m meditating to feel better. And you know, he didn’t know about it and didn’t like it, but after a while, he got used to it. So I would spend half my days there, NARPing, journaling, and inner work. Yes, yes. And…

Melanie
You were there doing the inner work, getting the trauma out and the light in.

Lorraine
There was lots of help. Your blogs are amazing. I would read them over and over. And it is just that you always find every angle on every subject and fill it out completely. So you’re always hitting something. Something was always resonating. Or if I didn’t understand it, I did it. I did understand it in another month or two months or whatever. And your videos were amazing. And, you know, Thriver’s videos were incredible and encouraged me to keep going.

You know that healing is not linear; you’re going all over the place with it, but if you stick to it and stick with NARP, you know what she says and what she says will happen if you stick to it really does happen. If it could happen to me, a 66-year-old woman who spent her whole adult life being narcissistically abused, I could dig myself out of that hole and get through. You can, too. I know you can.

I’ve taken many classes from you and this community, and we have a strength we don’t know about. You know, we’re strong if we’re in this community. We may not feel strong every day, but we’re strong. And we know deep down that we are worthy, and until we can get the debris out of the way, just like the saying goes, the sun will always be shining. You just have to get the clouds out of the way.

Melanie
It’s so true. Yeah. And just to unpack that a little bit, you know, what I love about that. Yeah. Look, COVID, you know, put you in that situation, but what we find with all of our Thrivers, including beautiful people like you, Lorraine, is we’ve had long-term people, even in their eighties, get out to the other side.

Lorraine
Yes, and that encouraged me.

Melanie
Yeah, yeah, which is so beautiful. And by the way, you look amazing for 66. What I love about our thrivers is that you start glowing when the traumas are out, and the light gets in. You know, it’s

Lorraine
Look what I found. I found my smile again.

Melanie
Your cells are smiling. I just want people to understand, and I say it all the time: The blogs and my videos are supplements, but the true inner work that makes the difference 100% of the time is “the trauma out the light in,” which is the actual modules. The supplements help give you guidance, encouragement, and understanding. But understanding is not innerstanding. Information is not transformation.

So, people, Lorraine is going to be pretty shocked to hear you’ve only been out of the marital house for four and a half months. You are basically not suffering aftershock.

Lorraine
That’s right.

Melanie
Aftershock is that phenomenon where most people leave, and you may have people tell you, well, you’ve left, and you’re going to be all right now. You’re not because the trauma from yesterday, last week, last month, last year hit you like a freight train.

And a lot of people go back, or a lot of people get on medication or just all sorts of things to try and cope because you feel like you’re dying. You feel like you’re losing your mind. Now, you’ve barely gone through that.

Now I know the reason. I see the night and day recoveries and the day recoveries are you clean out any triggers with NARP, you keep working the modules and healing and you’re doing speedy shifts now aren’t you too?

Lorraine
I am, I mean, I can’t tell you how happy I am with Speedy Shifts. I feel like our parents talked about, you know when they were young, they had to walk five miles through the snow to get to school and whatever it was like.

Now, you know, from the other NARP to Speedy NARPs, it’s like quantum, you know, leveling up. And anyone, get Speedy Shifts. If you’re new to NARP, do the NARP. Because you need to have that basis. I really do believe that. And there are some SpeedyNarp modules, which I’ve done and are fabulous.

You have eight minutes, so get in there and do it. And I’ve done it since day one of leaving my ex, and I won’t stop. I’m, I’m hooked. It’s the way, and the only way is the quantum way. And once you feel it and do it and really feel the difference, you’re never going back. You can’t go back to the way you lived before. You just can’t.

Melanie
It’s beautiful. And yeah, I loved it when you left him because you just declared it and did it, didn’t you? You were in your power.

Lorraine
I surprised myself.

I was done when I was done, I was done. And I worked through a lot of the fears. I worked those modules big time, especially the one about not taking responsibility for him regarding his vision disability. It was probably my last bastion of feeling a little guilty or whatever, but I worked on that. I cleared it, and I addressed it on day one with him.

I spoke my truth to that man for six weeks. He tried to work on me to change my mind, but I wasn’t.

But every time I told him my truth, it got easier and easier. I was able to disconnect and was the leader of the whole process. I was willing to, um, lose it all to get it all, but I had a plan, and I knew what he needed and wanted, and I leveraged it. So I think I surprised him. He’s a big businessman, a type-A person. He did not expect that from me.

Yes. So, it was only four months that we went through the process at home together until I left. It wasn’t a long time. I kept to myself and didn’t let him enter my space, and he had no choice but to capitulate.

Melanie
I love this Lorraine because here’s the thing, you know, outside there in the normal non-MTE non-Thriver narcissistic abuse recovery program world, everybody believes we can’t stand up to them. They’re too manipulative. They win in court. They’re all-powerful and literally the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain, pulling levers with this whole smoke-screen pyromaniac show. It’s not true.

Lorraine
Exactly. I love that analogy. It’s so him.

Melanie
Because when we get rid of the trauma and align with Source and Stand, they capitulate, and it happens all the time in this community.

Lorraine
Yes, it was especially helpful in the last few months before I told them we were divorcing. I didn’t ask for the divorce, I told them. And I got a lot of support and help there, especially for that. I mean, all through the process, of course.

I bought the gold, and your people are wonderful, the moderators. You’ve created such an amazing safe space because we’ve all been on other kinds of forums, and those are not fun.

Melanie
Thank you. Because this is the bunker, this is the battlefield of complete insane toxicity, narcissistic abuse, and being able to disentangle from you. And what comes with NARP is incredible support from the quantum untangling point of view, but also from the practical point of view, because there’s nothing that we haven’t seen in this community over the last 17 years, which is the insanity, which is narcissistic abuse.

Lorraine
That’s the key.

Melanie
We know what they’re going to do. We know their next steps. We know how to get you aligned. We know how to get you to stand up. We know how to help you deal with solicitors and judges to turn that system back to supporting you.

So you beat him!

Lorraine
Yes, and you know, so many people in your community don’t have a support network. And that’s what you were providing for so many women and men. It’s absolutely essential. You can’t really do this on your own. If you think you can, it’s going to be very difficult. And the kind of support that Melanie’s organization, the NARP, and all the other programs she has in the forum provide is invaluable, folks. It’s a no-brainer.

Melanie
I’m looking at you, and you’re just like, you are glowing. You look like you’ve been on collagen supplements for six months!

Lorraine
I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to live without that toxic energy permeating everything. And it just is night and day. And then to continue to work the program, because you’re doing it within a different with much gusto now because it really is all for you. You’re not about just getting out of the relationship. It’s all for you now.

And now you’re soul-driven. You want to do what your soul imprints, what you need to do, what you want to do in this life. You’re not afraid of the unknown as much because all the possibilities exist in the unknown. All of them. And all you’ll find in the unknown is more of yourself. And that’s everything. And you know, we lived in such a limited thinking life and world, and now we no longer have to think that way.

There are new rules. We’re following universal laws, and we’re creating new rules that support us, you know? So, thanks to you and your program.

Melanie
Oh, Lorraine, I think you should be a motivational speaker. Your sharing of it is just gorgeous and from the quantum heart.

Lorraine
Yes, you know, the unknown is like the quantum field. It’s all the possibilities are there. That’s it.

Melanie
So you moved out. Who are you living with now, and what are your next steps?

Lorraine
Well, I’m very, very fortunate. I have a wonderful, loving family: three sisters and a mom. My oldest sister and her husband knew what was going on, and I confided in them. In fact, she helped me buy NARP because he’s so controlling about every little charge.

She did it as a gift because she wanted that for me. And I was just touched by that. And they went a bit further. They built a beautiful home out in the country. Lots of green and a river and 35 acres.

And they said, please come, we have room for you, plenty of room, come live with us as long as you want and heal and just be, we want that for you. They’re the kindest, most loving, and generous people, and they have the most beautiful relationship in marriage. And they are such a good example for me.

It’s been wonderful to be here. I came here, I’m just living, just being and feeling good and, you know, working on whatever triggers may be coming up and doing the program and, but doing it, and like I said, in a whole different way with the speedy shifts and some of the NARP speedy shifts. And it’s, I don’t know, more fun because it’s all about me and the possibilities.

I’m in your Thrive program right now, and I’m coming up to week 10, and it’s just been amazing. I knew about this program from day one. And you know, it was a dream to be able to take that when I was on the other side. I mean, I thought sometimes I couldn’t get there, but I did, and it has not disappointed me.

Melanie
I love that.

Lorraine
If you haven’t done it, you’ve got to take it. If you’re on the other side and you’re having struggles or you just need a little boost, you’ve got to take her Thrive Program. It will really uplevel you. It really will. It’ll get you going on your new life and addressing; she is on fire. You know, it’s one of a private group.

She is on fire and throwing wisdom around. You know, you have the recordings. I’m going to be re-listening to them, and I’ve got a list of shifts going on.

I highly recommend it. So, after that, I’m just going to plan to do some online training and try a new vocation as a freelance worker. And you know, I don’t know if I’ll like it if I do it. You know, it might lead to something else. I don’t care because I’m quantum now.

I just put one foot in front of the other. I go within. I put out there what I want, not goodies, how I want to feel. Because I can create my life. I get to decide how I feel, not from the outside in. Okay. I’m building a garden here and creating my life.

Melanie
I love that. It’s my deepest wish that you can inspire one person, but I know you’ll inspire many. I really do.

Lorraine
Exactly. I am happy to!

Melanie
I guess for many people who have been in a long-term marriage, it’s like a big thing to accept help. It’s a huge thing for a lot of codependents who have been used to holding everything up themselves.

Lorraine
It was very hard for me.

Melanie
I met a woman years ago, and I don’t know where she is now. I’d love to have her on, but she was with a very wealthy, successful, powerful narcissist. She had nowhere to go. She went to a shelter in her 60s. She did the program, and she healed. Then, an old friend from decades ago got in contact with a very similar story, who worked out in the country and had an art gallery.

She went and stayed, started learning sculpting, worked in the art gallery, met a beautiful man, got married, and gained this whole new community because she was working at cleaning out the trauma, bringing the light, and this is exactly what I see for you.

Source/God/Creation gives you the next step, and it’s all moving towards your well-being, flourishing, nourishing, true self, and life. It’s because it’s already who we are without the trauma. So you are so on track. You’re so beautiful. You’re so inspiring. I think you are stunning inside and out. You are the kind of woman who would walk into a room and light it up because you’re lit up from the inside, and you’re just beautiful!

Lorraine, do you have any passing thoughts or words of encouragement that you could say to our beautiful listeners?

Lorraine
Yes, well, for the long-married folks and, of course, the other ones, it’s just, you know, be compassionate, dig deep, and know that you are worth it. And even though it’s almost like spiritual compensation where I have landed, I was prepared to go wherever I had to go. It didn’t matter because I knew I would be fine if I worked the program.

As you keep opening space, believing in yourself, and caring for yourself, things will start coming. And it’s not too late. You just need to start. You know, I kept telling myself, stop waiting. Just start. You know, it’s never going to be a perfect situation. You just have to start. And we all can do that. We can.

And just the basics, so within and without, is what Mel has been drilling in our heads. It’s being understood intellectually until you start opening space and getting more healed. Then you realize it’s your inner world. That is your real world.

That’s the reality. Your external world: We live in this 3D world, and we have to deal with it, but we don’t have to be dictated by it, right?

So it’s the only way you will be self-generative. It’s the only way you will be happy. The only way you’ll have the love and approval you seek is through here. And it’s all so possible, and it is happening. Thanks to NARP. It really is.

Melanie
Oh, Lorraine, thank you so much. I’m sure people’s cells will buzz with love and possibility, and you’re amazing. I’m so grateful for you and for being a part of our awesome community. Thank you for being a dear Thriver and also, you know, a dear friend.

Thank you so much, and lots of love to everybody.

Lorraine
Thank you. You’re amazing.

I hope that you enjoyed this Thriver Talk with Lorraine and that it has helped you feel that no matter how old you are or how long the abuse has happened, there is hope!

For more details about NARP – The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, check it out here.

And for the Speedy Shift healing evolution, which allows for fast trauma healing in minutes, find out more details here.

I look forward to answering your comments and questions below!

I have known Anita for a couple of years now, as a student of mine as well as a program member. It has been an absolute honor and joy to witness her journey through the incredible traumas she has faced.

For many of you, imagining what Anita has lived through may be difficult. She has endured an abusive relationship with her narcissistic mother and has gone through the incredibly tumultuous and painful experience of a divorce with a narcissist.

But not only did she survive… she excelled in the face of it all. She and her dream team of lawyers won a powerful court case despite enduring multiple obstacles.

So, to begin her story, let’s start with her narcissistic mother. All of it exploded in 2020 when Anita had been stuck in quarantine in Guatemala. She got back home, and two weeks in, her mother passed away from a stroke. Of course, this was a traumatic experience for Anita, but it was also made so much worse by what her mother did in her will.

It took Anita a while to understand why this was. With the help of an incredibly dear friend who saw through the situation, Anita got the NARP Gold package and dove right in.

Despite not understanding what NARP was or what it was doing, Anita went through it. And it was through it that she had a breakdown that enabled all the memories of her ritualistic abuse to return. For almost an entire year, she was in the valley of the shadow of death, feeling sick to her bones all the time and wanting to die every second.

But from here, something amazing happened. Anita started to use NARP to shift her life in her favor. She shifted her focus towards her trauma and set her mind to creating the optimal conditions for a successful court case.

Through trial and error, she eventually found the right mix of shifts to honor her values and truths. And it’s what separates her from most “victims”… she was unafraid of fighting back and honing her power – through her shifts – to reclaim her life and legal victory!

Video Transcript

Mel:
Welcome, dear friends, to this Thriver TV story. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so. I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.

And I have the absolute joy and pleasure of introducing Anita, one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. She’s a dear friend.

I’ve known her for a couple of years as a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program member. She’s also been a student of mine, and I just love her to pieces. And Anita, thank you for coming forward and sharing your story.

Anita:
Well, thank you for inviting me, Mel. It’s a real honor. Thank you.

Mel:
And I know, Anita, that there are so many details of your story from the narcissistic mum, which we’re going to go into, and your experience of ritualistic abuse, which is a topic that a lot of people don’t want to talk about. And I’m thrilled that you are talking about it because you’re not the first person in this community who’s come forward with that trauma.

And also, you went through a tumultuous, painful divorce from a narcissist. But you ended up being able to create and win a really powerful court case. And you had your dream legal team.

But anyway, okay, I digress. Well, so the situation with your narcissistic mum kind of all exploded in 2020. Share with us what happened there.

Anita:
Yeah, I’d been locked down in Guatemala, where I worked with cacao. I got back. I quarantined with my mother. And then, two weeks in, she died of a stroke. And I was very traumatized by what she’d done in her will, which was distinctly narcissistic, shall we say. And a very dear friend of mine, who was already on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, said, “Anita, it looks like your mother was a narcissist.”

And he very, very kindly bought me the NARP Gold package. And so, I diligently started doing the shifts, even though I didn’t understand what I was doing. I went through all the shifts, and that’s how I initially started working with NARP.

Mel:
So, the original stuff you were working on with NARP, were they to do with your mum, ex-husband, or a combination of both?

Anita:
At the time, it was just the stuff coming up with my mother. And the recognition that I’d been abused by her all my life and that there was a name for it, and it was called narcissistic personality disorder. I just thought she was an evil distortion of what a mother should be, but it was a relief to be able to put a label on it, so to speak, and find other people had been victims of that sort of behavior.

Mel:
Exactly. Coming into our community is an eye-opener for many people because it’s like, “Oh, my gosh, this isn’t just my story. This is so many people’s story as well.” Okay. Because she passed away. So, when you started doing the modules, what happened to you?

Anita:
So, when I started doing the modules, there wasn’t much happening initially. I had to go through a fairly big breakdown for the modules to start working. And that breakdown involved a very acrimonious divorce with my former husband, where he announced that he was going to help himself to half of my property. He stole my business and took away pretty much everything of value to me.

Mel:
Very typical.

Anita:
Fairly standard with that sort of personality.

But I hadn’t realized that he was displaying all the attributes and qualities of a narcissist. So, I had a nervous breakdown. And then, from there, all the memories of the ritual abuse came back. And I went through a year of the valley of the shadow of death, as I like to call it, where every single second of the day, I just wanted to die.

The memories were so painful that every single cell in my body felt sick, and I was on the verge of ending it all when one of the NARP programs popped up in my inbox, and I thought, “This is my last chance, saloon. It’s either this or not being here.” Yeah.

Mel:
When we first connected, I remember you had that spark of life and hope. You are a slither of what you are today. You could see that there was this beautiful, amazing woman who was hanging on her last thread. And I’ve seen this a lot with people from ritualistic abuse who are activated into it, and the trauma is so huge. But you had it all going on everywhere.

The mum, the ritualistic abuse, the husband, the ex taking your property, taking your business, taking every part of you. So, okay, what happened next?

Anita:
Yeah. Well, I would look on the NARP Community Forum and see thrivers and NARPers having these spectacular court wins, and I thought, “How the hell am I going to get there? This is just impossible. How am I going to get from here, where I am now, in this place of just absolute desolation, fearing that I’m going to be made destitute, unable to engage with the legal process?” I was even unable to speak about it because I was so traumatized. “How am I going to be able to get from this place to a spectacular court win?” It just seemed beyond me.

So, I just kept shifting. My biggest breakthrough was a shift where I suddenly thought, “Oh, my God, I’m going to target the trauma in my body that’s generating the blocks and obstacles to my engaging with the legal process.”

Yeah, and it was like, bam, everything shifted. I could operate from a place of analysis, logic, deduction, and a kind of soul sermon if you like. That one shift cleared away so much and enabled me to operate from a position of power and ownership in this divorce process.

From there, I became increasingly adept at steering the course of the shifts and tailoring them to create the conditions and attract the right people so that I could honor myself, honor my values and truths, which I had never actually known what they were in the first place. So, it was also like a multidimensional process focused on the court case.

Anita:
So, all this stuff just came flooding in. It was like, “Oh, my God, I am worth something. Oh, my God, my business is worth something. All that equity I put into his stolen business was worth something. My rights, my truths, and my values are valuable to me.

And in honoring them, I’m honoring my soul and my soul path, and the creator of which I’m part of creation.”

It was multidimensional. It was a huge and even further spiritual awakening. Knowing that it was part of a bigger spiritual picture made it more engageable, if you like, this court process.

Mel:
That’s so well put, and it’s so true. Our ascension, healing, well-being, and finances represent the sole value. It’s health, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health —all of those things combined.

So, what was the outcome in court? I know when you told me, I’m just like, what? That’s so cool. And witnessing stuff happening, like a big shift. And people listening to this, I know, because out in the normal non-quantum world, what happens is people are like, well, you can’t beat narcissists in court since the court and solicitors and judges are a part of the narcissistic system.

And it can be awful, even for normal things. But in line with the quantum law of so within-so without, massive things happen when we shift on the inside. So, yeah, explain what happened.

Anita:
Yeah. So I went from a place of being unable to engage with the process, even speaking to my solicitor about what had been going on, and trying to explain that I was with a psychopathic narcissist and everything was not going in my favor. We had a financial dispute resolution. It was like a second hearing. And I got pasted. I was painted as a greedy, grasping woman who wanted to keep every single penny from the marriage, and he was painted as this poor kind of trodden-over husband.

I couldn’t have felt more battered, so I had to crawl off and do more shifts. And I thought, no, this doesn’t feel right. This isn’t aligned with my soul truth. And despite what my solicitor told me, she said, “Oh no, you’re just going to have to go to give him 50% of the property.” I said, “No, this does not feel right and is not aligned with my soul. No.”

Mel:
You are supposed to instruct your solicitor, not the other way around. And we fall for that stuff all the time. So yeah, keep going.

Anita:
So I sacked her.

Mel:
Yeah. Good.

Anita:
I found through a friend a spectacular lady who was described as lethal, and she certainly was. She prepared me a magnificent case, and I hoped it wouldn’t get to a final hearing, but the other half wanted a final hearing. He wanted his day in court. He wanted to annihilate me.

She had recommended a barrister who was an absolute super sleuth. And I have to say, I called in my perfect legal team. Now, he’d read my case notes because he was diligent, and he was like, “Something’s not right here.” So we went into the final hearing, and we broke for lunch. I had to give my evidence. I was just about to go up into the witness box.

And what had happened before that was that in real-time during the court, they’d uncovered that my former husband was concealing his assets, and he’d been lying and perjuring himself in court. And so I got an amazing deal. I didn’t have to give evidence in the end. His solicitors came back and said, “Right, okay, we have to make a deal,” because he was screwed.

So I was just in shock. I couldn’t believe it. I broke down in tears. It was just the most amazing, miraculous thing that had ever happened. And I thought I’m going to need a miracle to sort this out. And I got one. Yeah, I got one.

Mel:
And Anita, we see it all the time. We see that an internal shift can be an outer thing. And that’s what you were listening to when people said, “Well, I had this miracle.” We’ve had cases where the narcissist broke down and couldn’t get to the court, and the judge decided without them, and the most incredible synchronicity has happened. So I’m so thrilled.

So what I love about that is you honored yourself. When we’re in the fear and when we’re in the trauma and we don’t feel like an authority, and we don’t have value, we’re not listening to that inner voice. And when that solicitor said, “Well, you’ve got to take that deal,” we’re in fear and trauma, we just do that. We go along, and we end up getting throttled.

But you’ve done enough to have a shift inside you to listen to your guidance, stand in it, and move with it. And then that moves universes. And that’s exactly what happened. So when did your friend recommend the new solicitor who was ruthless? Was it after you shifted and chose to go your own way?

Anita:
Oh, that was my choice. It was like I had this internal sat nav, a moral compass aligned with my soul, that was getting stronger and stronger and stronger, like a strongly beating heart. And I felt like I had to honor it, regardless of what the solicitors said or the judge said. It was like I had to honor myself.

It felt very empowering to discern that my current solicitor was mediocre and called in someone powerful, incisive, intelligent, and strong. I did that through shifting and intention setting.

Yeah. I always went back to the forum. I was getting inspiration from the community by reading about successes. I was getting inspiration from-

Mel:
For people, that’s our global community, the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program Community Forum, a private community where all members can get coaching and support 24/7/365. But yeah, they’re amazing there.

Anita:
Yeah. So I mean, to all NARPers, take a moment to be still and go inside and feel your truths and values. And if it doesn’t feel right to you, regardless of what a judge, a solicitor, or anyone else is saying, it’s got to feel right to you.

If it feels right to you, then there’s a way to get the support you need and call it in. Please work with your shifts to honor your soul and your values, whatever they are and however they’re expressed in the material world, whether that’s your property, business, or child.

Mel:
Yeah, very good. Beautiful share. It is so important not just to accept or believe that you’re up against a narcissist; you’re going to get throttled, and there’s nothing you can do. It’s just not true. These people get quite powerless, and they unravel when we step into our power, and that’s what’s so exciting. They’re not as tough as they make out to be.

So, Anita, like the breakdown, I want to talk a bit more about that.  I want you to share with people how bad it was and how you felt when you were in that place.

Anita:
That was possibly the toughest period of my life. I didn’t think I was going to get through it. I didn’t think I’d be here now. Every single cell in my body felt like it was sick. I just felt like I was dying a million times across all my lifetimes and into my soul. It was horrific and inescapable. I couldn’t escape from this torment and the memories that were coming up.

My inner world was on steroids and acid. It was quite horrible. I can look back on it now and laugh about it, which is a testament to the amount of inner work that’s taken place.

But when I returned to doing deeper work with NARP, I was literally at the Last Chance Saloon. I thought, “If this doesn’t work, I’m going to end it because I can’t bear being in this body anymore. I can’t bear it.” It was just horrific. And I had done some great work with some amazing shamanic healers.

Mel:
I remember you saying.

Anita:
Yeah. I’ve trained and qualified as a shamanic practitioner myself, so I knew what was going on on a multidimensional level, and even then, it was just unbearable. Although I say, without that, I guess I would’ve been even more confused. So, at least I had that perspective and the shifts as well to be able to clear all this stuff out of my body.

But yeah, MTE Support was amazing. When you had Violet, I contacted her several times, and she was like a lifeline. She knew intuitively how to support me and what to say. Honestly, those MTE members were like angels during that time. All I did for a year was maybe lie on my bed and shift. That’s all I could do. I could barely leave the house. I was in a state of very, very deep depression. And looking back on it now, it was like a different lifetime.

Mel:
So, how did it start feeling different? What happened?

Anita:
My internal world shifted, and that was reflected in my external world. For pretty much all my life, My external world had been very haphazard and chaotic, and I started to see more structure. This all took place at the same time as the court hearing, so I was able to bring more structure into my life.

I was able to show up for myself more and make choices that were based on a deeper soul level rather than informed by trauma, bad habits, patterns, or addictions.

Mel:
I remember back then the battles you were having with certain decisions, as we can all do before we start healing enough that is self-sabotage and self-harming, which align with how we’re not valuing ourselves, and you started to come out of that.

It’d be so interesting to show people the photos of the Anita I met and the glowing, beautiful creature you are now because you are. You’re just stunning. It’s like two different people.

Anita:
Yes, I agree with you. I just want to say to all the NARPers out there who are struggling with addictive patterns and behaviors that I had all the addictions except for heroin, crack, and gambling. I was addicted to alcohol, substances, sugar, dairy, and nicotine. I was addicted to a party lifestyle, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Just all the stuff. I mean, at the time, I didn’t realize that what I was trying to do was to distract myself from my inner world. Like I said, I want to say to all the NARPers out there, with the shifting, I noticed that these addictions were diminishing. I would reach for them less. It was as if my body didn’t want them, my soul didn’t want them, or I didn’t need them. Gradually, it’s almost as if they began diminishing on their own accord.

So I didn’t have to use my will or force myself into refusing these patterns. It was as if the internal battle had just vanished. There just wasn’t even a battle anymore. It just wasn’t even a thing, which was such a wonderful reward. And I’d made space for other things to come in. I’d made space for nourishing interests, hobbies, and people to come into my life. And so I started to be able to choose that.

Mel:
I know some of the people you’ve connected with who are gorgeous in your world, in the U.K., and the stuff you do, and they’re stunning people.

Anita:
Yeah. And so rather than connecting, again, with abusive people or parasitic people or people who didn’t value me, I was connecting with loving and genuine people – people who valued me, and who saw me and who understood me.

I’ve also noticed that when I’ve reconnected with old friends, I say friends in the loosest possible terms, and they haven’t aligned with this new version of me. They’ve fallen away very quickly, which is great.

Mel:
Which is great. Yeah, because it’s hard to bring people up to your level. It’s much better if they’re at your level or you’re growing together, which I love. Anita, honestly, I’ve always with you felt like, even though we’re around the same age, I felt like a bit of a mother hen.

No, I do because I’ve always loved you and seen you in your battle and seen who you are. And also, you reminded me of myself years ago. It’s not about me. It’s about you. But years ago, when I was on death’s door, and I thought I could never recover from my breakdown, and I’d been plagued with addictions all my life, although, after hearing your list, I think you had a better crack at it than I did, I think you’re right up there on the queen of addictions.

But mine were bad, too, so I saw so much of my journey in you. And I’d had some massive big trauma on just very deep sexual levels, too, which you’ve had at a much worse level. So it’s heartwarming for me to see because it was death/rebirth for you.

And what’s so exciting about you is that you are such a gifted, incredible lady. If I were in the U.K., I would attend your workshops. I seriously would. And I want to give you a big plug because Anita is… Please explain what you do.

If anybody is in the U.K., we’ll put Anita’s details up so that you can connect if you want to, and I would suggest it. So what do you do? Explain it to people.

Anita:
Yeah. So, I am a cacao ceremonialist. Cacao is the ancestral medicine of the Mayan people, and it has the most wonderful healing benefits. Cacao was there for me on my healing journey with NARP because it brought me into my body and allowed me to connect to the earth and higher dimensions. But most importantly, she’s a medicine of embodiment.

And there were times when I couldn’t get up in the morning. I’d open my eyes and think, “Oh my God, I’m here again.” And that trip to the blender to make my cacao got me out of bed.

I know I’ve segued, but I felt it important to share how instrumental cacao was in my healing journey.

So, I’ve been working with cacao since 2014. I serve cacao at ceremonies and work as a shamanic practitioner and energy healer, sharing cacao in my one-to-one healings. And I also make chocolates. I’m very well known for the chocolate that I make, which is made in sacred space and is divinely delicious.

Mel:
You’ll have to send me some to Cape Trib. I want to try some of your chocolates.

I’m going to try some of your chocolates.

Anita:
Okay. It’s a date.

Mel:
I’ll buy some. Yeah, you have to send me some. I’d love to try them.

Anita:
Yeah, for sure. Yes, I will.

Mel:
If chocolate’s healthy, I’m all over it.

Anita:
Yeah, well, they’re healthy chocolate. So here’s a dish of my chocolates. We’ve got Radha and Krishna’s Love Garden, which is a cardamom chocolate with crystallized ginger, pistachio, and banana.

And we’ve got tantric breakfast, which is… I know. Do you fancy a tantric breakfast?

Mel:
Sounds exciting. That sounds dangerous, actually.

Anita:
Which is cayenne chocolate with a handmade brittle of cashew nuts, maple syrup, vanilla, and dates.

Mel:
So you make these?

Anita:
I make those, yes. Yeah.

Mel:
Oh, my gosh.

Anita:
They are plant-based and made with coconut milk powder, maple syrup, and coconut sugar. So, there’s no dairy or cane sugar, and the base is ceremonial-grade cacao, so they’re also a medicine. Yeah.

Mel:
Oh, my goodness. So look at you now that all this trauma’s out of your cells and all this creativity that bursts forth. And this is what I love so much about people who go through the dark dungeon of narcissistic abuse. You must let go of the trauma and get the light in to get out of it.

When that source light comes in, you activate your soul mission and purpose. I’m so proud and excited for you. I love the stuff that you are getting out there and doing in the world now. You’re an inspiration, Anita, and I hope that you can inspire other people still in the dark breakdown in the bowels of hell.

You and I have both been there, so Anita, what would you say to people who have come across my work? They’re looking at this community, which is in those dark places. What could you share with them?

Anita:
I’d love to say invest in yourself. If you value yourself but feel disempowered and out of control over your life, coming to NARP is the most fantastic way to break through lifetimes.

We’re talking about this lifetime, ancestral stuff, and other lifetimes. So, regardless of whether you resonate with that, this is what the shifting is all about. So we’ve got DNA codes in our blood, and doing the quantum healing helps dissolve these habits and patterns that have been holding us back from being the best versions of ourselves. And yeah, do it. Yeah.

Also, these shifts allow you to come into your body and start to make peace with your body. For many of us who’ve experienced abuse, the body is a very unsafe place to be. It’s been the platform for trauma. We don’t trust our bodies. They’ve heard other people, felt pain, and are carriers of pain. So, doing these shifts is a really beautiful way.

Engaging with the whole NARP and Quantum Freedom healing process is the most wonderful way of returning to your body and making peace with your body, learning to trust your body again, taking ownership of your body, and beginning to love yourself. And that was one of the biggest takeaways that I had. I love my body, love myself, and take ownership of my body and whole being.

Mel:
And you’ve become such a goddess in her heart and body. When we first met, of course, you were traumatized, disconnected, disassociating, and couldn’t even feel.

You’re now an embodied goddess; I’m sure anybody looking at you and listening to you can hear it. It’s coming from your soul now.

Anita, thank you so much, darling, for coming on and being such a special dear friend and fellow traveler. I love you to pieces.

Anita:
Oh, thank you so much, Mel. It’s an honor.

Mel:
And how can people contact you if they’re in the UK to experience your cacao stuff and your products?

Anita:
Yeah. So the website is coming soon. I’ve mainly been involved in the divorce for the last two years, so the website’s been on the back burner. So, currently, I’m doing everything from my Instagram while the website is under construction. So, I post my stuff on my Instagram, and once my website is up, I’ll be posting on my website. So, if people want to reach out to me on Instagram and also take a look at my work, I’ve got a card here.

Mel:
Yeah. You need to bring it over in front of your face. Okay. I’ll tell you what, honey. We’re going to put it up. We’ll put it up. What’s your Instagram handle?

Anita:
My Instagram handle is my name, anitabrulee_sacredhearts.

Mel:
Beautiful. Beautiful. So we’ll include that in this interview as well, and people can find out more about cacao and get on to you, and that’s exciting. All right, honey. Thank you so much for taking this time this morning.

It’s your morning, my evening, but hanging out with you is always awesome. And every time I see you, you look more and more beautiful.

You are age-reversing. You look ten years younger than the last time I saw you. You do.

Anita:
Oh, gosh. Well, I’ve been eating medically medium food – lots of celery juice and healing foods. That, combined with shifting, has been amazing.

Mel:
Everything is healthy, and I love it when we combine combos. It’s just so powerful. All right, gorgeous girl. Thank you, and I hope everybody watching this can be inspired to know that it’s never the end. And I love what I believe: if you are still alive, source, God, creation hasn’t finished with you yet, and you are a perfect example of that, Anita.

Anita:
Thank you, Mel. Love you.

Mel:
I love you, too.

If you wish to access profound healing through the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, which is now even faster and more effective with the Speedy Shifts Module additions, and be a lifetime member of our incredible Private Community, which grants you 24/7/365 support, join HERE.

Like Lindsay, maybe you’re dealing with difficult circumstances that leave you feeling stuck or helpless, and you don’t know how to make it stop. Maybe you have felt the conflict between what you outwardly show and your innermost reality.

The good news is that it is never too late to shift things. No matter how severe the situation, you can break the cycle and heal for real.

I recently interviewed Lindsay, a woman living a double life of success and abuse. Lindsay is an attorney with her own law firm, LNZ Law. She has been licensed since 2016. In 2017, she got into a relationship with a narcissist and stayed until 2020. During lockdowns, the situation came to a head.

Despite feeling codependently attached, she was brave enough to take the healing journey. She listened to her inner voice, which is at the root of Quanta Freedom Healing™, and never looked back. She shares her personal story, hoping it will reach and help one person.

Video Transcript

I was very happy to interview Lindsay, knowing that her story could help so many people like her.

As she and I discussed, Lindsay is pretty, successful, and intelligent, and was living a “double life” – being a respectful high achieving attorney in her business and family life, and behind closed doors living with an abuser – where the abuse had become dangerously physical.

Like some people in our wonderful community, she had known this man from childhood. She felt that they were destined to be together, and the start of their relationship felt so “right.” Yet things escalated to a terrible level—literally life and death.

After leaving him, Lindsay went through the obscene Aftershock, like we all do, that she says felt like the worst addiction withdrawal of her life.

It’s much worse than overcoming Oxycodone addiction years ago.

Many times, she had returned to him until the very last time.

Fortunately, Lindsay had a friend who was able to discuss with her that there were inner reasons why she had gone through what she did—because it didn’t make logical sense to her why she would get into a relationship and stay with someone like this.

Lindsay found my work in her research, which resonated with her, and she started NARP immediately.
Lindsay’s story is about a brave single Mother who worked deeply on her previous wounds and painful internal traumas, with NARP, of feeling codependently attached to a man experiencing abuse she never thought she would. She rose from this to become at peace, healthy, happy, empowering, and wise for herself and her children.

She attributes this to living life from the inside, which is the path of Quanta Freedom Healing™ and Living.

Lindsay states that she doesn’t think she would even be here if it hadn’t been for finding this Community, NARP, and doing the Healing Meditations.

As she said before going on camera, her greatest wish was, “I want to share my life even if it helps one person.”

It is my greatest hope that this wish is fulfilled today.

Conclusion

Please know no matter what you have been through, what is lost, how old you are, or how many times your heart has been broken, you don’t have to suffer alone.

You can heal for real.

Become a NARP Member and join our wonderful Thriver Community today.

Inspired by nature, Kami found her calling as an artist and now sells her stunning, intuitively channeled art globally. But despite her manifesting abilities, Kami struggled with managing and holding onto money. She contacted me for a one-on-one Quanta Freedom Healing™ to release subconscious blocks around money and achieve lasting financial prosperity.

Through this healing, Kami experienced profound reversals in her beliefs and was able to use words like “money” without feeling conflicted. Two days later, she felt like she was ‘flying,’ and her imagination was soaring. This is the power of one-on-one healing and the ability to heal from the inside out.

Join the Thriver Community today to start your healing journey and experience the transformative power of Quanta Freedom Healing™. Don’t let subconscious blocks keep you from true financial freedom and living your best life.

Video Transcript

Today, I want to share a live Quanta Freedom Healing™ on a HUGE topic for many people: healing financial prosperity after narcissistic abuse. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so. I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.

Kami has been in the Thriver Community since 2021 and worked diligently on herself, with NARP and my online programs, to heal from narcissistic abuse and chronic illnesses. When I first met Kami, she was traumatized, sick, housebound, and barely functioning. She believed that if Quanta Freedom Healing™ hadn’t worked for her, she didn’t want to live.

Thank goodness she did find this way to heal!

Kami released many of her internal traumas, became healthy and happy, and pursued her dream of creating beautiful paintings and sculptures and sharing them with the world.

Kami sells her stunning, intuitively channeled art online, has her own exhibitions, and has even sold pieces whilst creating them on the spot, at the beach, or online within minutes of posting them!

Now, after unlocking her subconscious blocks, Kami enjoys feeling whole in her body, traveling globally, and being inspired by nature while making money from what she loves doing.
However, even though Kami is a master manifester, money slips through her fingers. She creates windfalls of money but then finds herself struggling again. Kami realised this was the pattern, and painful beliefs around money were stuck in her subconscious.

Kami reached out to me for one-on-one healing because she was sick of her battle with finances and wanted them gone.

I was more than happy to help her achieve this—with Quanta Freedom Healing™, which powerfully changes us directly in the subconscious mind/body to change our lives.

This one-on-one healing is the finding, releasing, and reprogramming of WHY Kami has had this pattern and has been unable to be solid, healthy, or safe with finances.

As you will see, Kami’s healing brought more to the table than we could have imagined! Our healing together was fascinating, leaving me again wondering, “How on earth could this be healing other than Quantumly?”

If you already work with the Super Tool Quanta Freedom Healing™, watching this healing will grant you wonderful tips for working on your own healing. If you have never experienced Quanta Freedom Healing™ or considered working directly with the subconscious mind/body, I hope that this method of healing makes sense to you and shows how our lives unfold from within if it is possible to heal from the inside out, and if we don’t go within, we go without.

Within the healing, Kami experienced profound reversals in her beliefs. Off-camera, when we chatted, she said, “This is the first time in my life I have ever been able to say the word ‘money’ without feeling conflicted.”

Two days later, Kami messaged me, “Before my session, I felt limited when I thought about money. Now, I feel like I’m flying, and my imagination is soaring!”

I can’t wait to see what Kami will create next!

To take the first step to start healing Quantumly, join our wonderful Thriver Community, and heal from abuse as Kami did, please see The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.

If you would like to consider working with me in a one-on-one healing session, please write to support@melanietoniaevans.com for more details.

If you are already a Gold NARP Member and would like to express interest in Quanta Freedom Healing™ training with me in March 2024, then please also write to support@melanietoniaevans.com

I hope you enjoy this Shifts Happen Healing, and I look forward to answering your comments and questions.