Hi Janie,

That is great that you have come so far.

This resource may help you greatly with identifying what this next step in your healing is.

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-wont-the-narcissist-leave-me-alone/

I hope this helps.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

Hi Dave,

Please know in this community we know that narcissism is not gender specific at all.

It’s just not as many men come forward.

You are very welcome Dave.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

Hi Anna,

I personally as well as do many other have discovered that not only did this course create an enormous shift in relationships with our parents – so within, so without, it also improves our female male energy within as well as our relationships in general.

Absolutely dynamics with people change as we change and show up differently and the energy between us changes.

Does this help explain?

Mel 🙏💕❤️

Hi Melanie,

How does this work…I had thought to do the Transforming Family Of Origin Wounds Course. My mother has always been disconnected, self-centered etc. but not a n. If I do this course, will it change anything in her behaviour, or the relationship between me and her? I can see, that all my relationships (especially the one with the n) are somehow “replicas” of this same theme. I mean, I’m little bit disappointed now, if we can’t really change the behaviour of others, no matter how much healing we do. Or like in my mother’s case, it is I would say metaphorically speaking, like cats and dogs have a different ability to connect with human beings, and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong or sick in any of them. My mother had a difficult childhood and was separated from her mother, I think that’s why she became wired this way. Somehow I have always felt this eternal longing for connection and it’s just not coming…if she does not have the ability, then she does not have. Do you still recommend this course, how it works? Or does it work that way, that even if I can’t repair this relationship, at least I stop being a match for similar scenarios in the future?

Hi Anna,

Absolutely when we are wounded we trigger and activate wounds in others and can co-generate as well as stay enmeshed in toxic relationships.

100 percent our happy healthy life necessitates us taking the responsibility to heal our inner traumas so that we can show up healthily in relationships … choosing healthy people, having healthy boundaries and taking personal responsibility for our side of the road.

Please know if another person has crossed over these lines that I talk about in this article

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/are-you-with-a-narcissist/

No amount of your healed behaviour is going to change them.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

This how to break free from toxic people made me think…Okay, so some people like n’s are toxic and there’s no excuse for them.
But I also thought, is it possible, could I be making or “cause” some people to behave in toxic ways towards me, because of my “wounding”? In my childhood my father was abusive, I was bullied at school and now as an adult, I attracted n partner. Yes, it has taken me a couple of decades to realise, that on an unconscious level, even if I did not cause these people to behave this way, I anyway attracted or allowed them in to my life. (gosh, and even begging the n to stay!!).
I’ve realised that most of my “identity” or energy, is centered in “I’m alone, I’m abandoned, I’m not respected, I’m ignored” and so on. I think many people, even female friends and potential romantic partners (“normal” men) somehow treat/respond to me accordingly, that to me is (they are) seemingly “toxic”.
Could it be, that if I heal my trauma stuff, these people start to respond to me differently? I hope you could understand my question 🙂 What I mean; how do I know if someone is “genuinely toxic” (and should be avoided)?