Hi Rosemary,

for all of us who have worked on releasing our wounds and torment re being N-abused, we do reach a place of acceptance and compassion for these people – as well as gratitude for them granting us the ability to self-partner and heal.

Ultimately NARP and the Module work allows us to up-level ANY painful feelings we have about what we experienced or even the feeling we experience ABOUT their experience.

There is a deeper wider truth to all of this – that I believe – which may help you.

It is in this article I wrote about here:

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-soul-contract-with-a-narcissist/

Mel xo

Hi Lucy. I am so please that you enjoyed learning about my story. I am so glad that I have moved on from those early and very painful days. It is good to feel encouraged and as if we are going in the right direction for us that is healthier and which supports us positively.

I am sure that once you engage with the NARP programme and start to clear out all your old beliefs and feelings, that you will start to feel a whole lot happier and in a lot less pain very soon.

Mel has already shared that you should start with Module 1 to clear out the worst of the pain. You may need to do that one quite a few times until all the charges are down. You will know when you do the module though when it is time to move on. She has already shared about Modules 3 and 6. I have also found those very helpful and have needed to do them several times because more and more stuff came up that I did not know was there.

The two other modules that have been very helpful for me are Module 2, releasing the ideal of the N as the perfect partner, and Module 9, releasing the connection to the N, have brought up lots of pain and old beliefs and feelings for clearing and healing.

You might also want to set yourself some small goals that are easily achieveable, for how you want your life to look. If you set some really simple goals and achieve them, that can be very empowering.

Look forward to learning about all your progress.

Hello Jane, I think that if you are able to see the N for the needy little boys/girls that they are, you can always place them developmentally at ages between around 3 – 5 years. I teach Kindergarten and Pre-primary children and they are very ego-centric at that age. With good parenting, they learn to take the other’s point of view and learn to adjust their behaviour and hopefully develop empathy and acceptance for others’ feelings. Unfortunately for the N, they do not develop this capacity and are stuck at that early age and are capable of the rages that we have experienced in our own lives.

I did think that if I gave, that it meant that I was loving. At that stage of my own journey, I did not realise that love was something that had to come out of me unconditionally. It is about giving and just doing that because it is who I am and I have that inside me to give to another; no strings attached. However, back then, I had a lot of strings; hence the giving to get.

One thing that I do find interesting about N is that they do seem to keep strange hours and spend a lot of time wandering around the house at night. I had this experience and I have learned that a lot of other people have had that too. They also like you to be awake to hear all about what is important to them. They do not care if YOU need to sleep and get offended when you do go to sleep. In fact, they often get very put out.

That is why it is so important to set boundaries that serve us and make sure that we get what we need for ourselves, by ourselves, in legitimate ways where there are no strings attached.

In regard to getting enough sleep, it is really their problem if they have no-one to talk to and cannot get sex when they need it. Since they are incapable of understanding and empathising with us, it is useless expecting it from them. It is like saying that a wild lion is the same as a domestic cat that you can pet and cuddle. Not so!

So, if we are with someone like that, we are the ones who will get burned. We have to love and care for ourselves sufficiently to really give ourselves what we need to be happy and well-cared for. It is us who need to value ourselves, and not stay in a situation that is abusive. That is like us using the N’s voice and actions to add to the abuse that we are allowing into our lives.

It does not matter what they say or what their excuses are; that is their stuff and it is up to the N to sort out all that for him/herself. It is not our responsibility. So, it is wise to stand our ground, live how we want to live, not engage more than is necessary if we are still living with the N and make our own plans for the kind of life we want to live.

If we want to live empowered lives, then we need to live within our integrity and value system and remove whatever it is that does not match who we are. If we make that a practice, and also continue to dig out and heal all those inner wounds, then we can have peaceful, empowered and joyous lives.

that is great that you are going to start NARP. Module 1 is the first go to Module, to clear the immediate pan and fear. If the guilt is a really big charge for you – you will find that Module 1 will help clear a lot of it.

You will also find that Mod 3, Forgiving Yourself, and Mod 6 Releasing Feelings of Responsibility will also be very powerful to clear this ‘guilt hook’.

Also once you are on NARP (If Gold) you have incredible guidance and direction in the NARP Forum to help you with any ‘how to’…

I hope this helps!

Mel xo

It’s really great finding out more about you. Thank you for sharing. Your story is so encouraging and gives me hope.
I am going to start the program. Could I ask which modules are best for releasing fear and guilt. My ex has tapped onto this weakness and plays it all the time.

Hi Jane M.,

I agree there were really powerful points in Suzanne’s story..

Her journey has been so profound, and she has gained so much self-realisation from it.

I am so glad you enjoyed this show and got a lot out of it!!

You are so right – it wasn’t love…

Bless 🙂

Mel xo

Hi Quinton,

sending you healing and strength. It is so much more supportive to be working Modules, so that when the fear and pain surfaces, you can clear it and support yourself.

Thank you for your lovely and supportive comments, and please reach out for support in this time if needed.

Mel xo

Good luck Quinton… and stay strong.