Melanie Tonia Evans

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #16 Suzanne

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 2
40
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans


It is a real delight to share Suzanne’s story with you.

Her story is truly inspirational, because in Suzanne’s own words, “I could have become anything. I could have ended up on the streets, or an alcoholic – but I didn’t.”

Suzanne’s story starts with the details of her childhood – her very painful beginning in life, and how she was emotionally numb, and merely existing.

It wasn’t until later in life, that all the emotions that Suzanne had buried deep inside her, in order to cope, fully erupted.

Suzanne had been severely depressed all of her life. It wasn’t until after her first narcissistic experience that finally she got the help she needed.

This story is the courage of a single mother who was hospitalised for six years, and during this time how she finally felt all the grief and the pain that had been deeply buried within her all of her life.

This however was not the finish of her transformation journey.

The second narcissist, many years later, presented… And before she knew it Suzanne was swept into a crazy, devastating, exciting whirlwind.

One so painful, that she thought she was going to die…

Which then led to her becoming a part of our wonderful community.

Today, Suzanne is one of the most active moderators in the NARP Community Forum. She grants so much richness and depth to assisting others who are recovering from trauma in their life.

If you have never known anything other than abuse, emotional neglect and depression, and never felt whole and empowered in life – this wonderful lady will inspire you to realise – you, “can become Who You Really Are”.

Suzanne, like myself, wishes this with all her heart for everyone.

Suzanne has a fantastic way of being so authentic, and real with her story. I’d love you to listen, and please share this story to others who need to understand there is a way through.

If you are interested in becoming a member of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program like Suzanne you can find all the information here.

Suzanne and I look forward to answering any of your questions and comments.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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40 Thoughts on Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #16 Suzanne
  • cmerzeder@me.com'
    Christine
    June 26, 2014

    Wow, Suzanne, you are another shining example of a thriver after horrendous circumstances over years. Your radio show is so moving and so encouraging. I had to listen twice!

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Thanks Christine. It has been a long journey but I am more than ok these days. I have come a long way from that broken person who could not leave my hospital room.

  • jenny.chantler@yahoo.co.uk'
    jenny
    June 27, 2014

    A great show – i’ve been unable to turn it off despite a wall waiting to be painted! And it really re-inforces what I’ve belatedly discovered and that is, no matter how much you understand the problems cognitively, until you do the energetic healing and shifting with NARP you just cannot move out of the old zone.
    Love and blessings as my Gran used to say xo

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Thanks Jenny. I am glad that the show has been able to re-inforce what you have now discovered. It is so true! It is impossible to heal this stuff cognitively. It just does NOT ever work, no matter what people say. The only thing that has got me to where I am today is my sheer determination to heal and to have my life, along with energy work that has pulled out all the old wounds from my inner self. That works, it is painless and very, very fast. If people use the NARP programme and any other energy work that they find helpful such as kinesiology, then they will be guaranteed to heal those wounds in a very short time. Thanks for your love and blessings and if you continue with NARP and continue to take all the triggers and feelings into the respective modules, you will continue to grow and heal and have the most wonderful and peaceful and joyous life.

  • silvia.smullen@gmail.com'
    silv
    June 27, 2014

    Melanie is an amazing visionary but I just couldn’t focus on the story because Melanie just kept interrupting – please let your guests speak THEIR truth Melanie.

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Hello Silv. Thanks for the comment. I am thinking that although you felt distracted, this is something that is also a trigger that you might want to consider exploring. I have discovered for myself that whenever I get a trigger such as feeling a lack of focus or being distracted because someone is doing something, there is a core wound of some kind behind it. Eventually when these are dealt with, there is no trigger.

      A long time ago, I was using a room in my mother’s home and it was directly next to the toilet. She would use the loo and leave the door open. I used to get very upset at this and when I explored this further, I discovered that my annoyance went a good deal further than annoyance at her toilet habits. I discovered that during my entire childhood, she had invaded my personal space without checking ever if it was ok; things like unwanted touch, wanting to talk with me and about things that concerned her that were fairly innocuous, but intrusive. There was no respecting of my child boundaries. So when, as an adult, I was triggered by her toilet habits, that was the gift. Just a thought!

  • ajd@comcast.net'
    Angela
    June 28, 2014

    Silv I don’t agree at all. I found the conversation wonderful and totally on topic. Surely Mel was only emphasising the conversation? And Suzanne was most definitely expressing, and allowed to speak her truth, that came over loud and clear.

    • accounts@sensortemp.com.au'
      Annie
      June 29, 2014

      All I heard and felt was Suzannes story, with the added and supportive connection that Mel and Suzanne have developed together.
      I agree Angela.

  • tishm@optusnet.com.au'
    Tish
    June 28, 2014

    Thank you for another amazing show Melanie and Suzanne. I loved it! Suzanne you are amazing! One of my favourite Thriver Shows…so inspirational!

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Thanks Tish. I am glad that you found the radio show helpful and inspirational. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now in my life and mostly it has been by trial and error because when I began this work, there was nothing like any knowledge about N-abuse. There was no energy work, no Melanie and no NARP. I have found that since being able to access Mel’s work and NARP and have worked the programme, that it has catapaulted me to where I am now and has dealt with many, many more core wounds than I was aware of when I began my last relationship with my ex-b. The wonderful thing is that when that pain comes out and the core wounds are healed, there is no more pain and I could actually feel the energy leave my body on quite a few occasions. It has revolutionised my outer life and made many relationships and life situations go much more smoothly.

    • Info@melanietoniaevans.com'
      Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 30, 2014

      Hi Tish,

      You are very welcome 🙂

      Glad you enjoyed the show.

      Mel xo

  • accounts@sensortemp.com.au'
    Annie
    June 29, 2014

    Dear Suzanne,
    Thanks for sharing your story. The childhood pain you revisited as an adult of not being supported,not allowed to express emotion, must give to get and then being totally left on your own with no choice but to redirect your focus to better future – is one I share with you at my core. As immensely hard as it was for you, I too am so thankful for the opportunity it has given me to shift the horrific pain. So much better out than in!!!!
    I hear your passion with the work you do in NARP and with children, to help others enjoy a peacefull, joyous life.
    Much admiration to you!

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Thanks Annie. I am glad that my story was one about which you could relate. It is really terrible to be in so much emotional pain and have no idea how to heal it.I am glad that you have found Mel and NARP and from what you have written, it seems that you are using the NARP programme to set yourself free from all the inner pain. It really does work.

      So many people, including my own grandmother and all the members of my FOO, were, and are living conditioned lives, carrying generations of pain and suffering that they have either no interest in shifting, or feel unable to begin the healing journey.

      I really had no other options. I either did the inner work, or died, both psychically, emotionally and physically. I guess that I was the fortunate one, because I was in so much pain that I could barely tolerate it. So, for me, it was a case of doing the inner work or live a dead life. I chose the former.

      Although I could see many young people in their 20’s living wonderful lives, I was unable to take any joy in my own. I was merely surviving in pain. I could see my younger sister being involved in many aspects of life with her friends; cooking with them, going to parties, enjoying interactions with people; a normal teenage existence, yet I was not able to do this.

      I am so pleased to report that it is never too late and now I am doing all the catch-up playing. I am having an absolutely wonderful time with dancing and riding and simply enjoying feeling great most of the time. It is an entirely different life that I am living now.

      I also look at my FOO; my mother and two sisters, and see that they struggle. My youngest sister has allowed her weight to balloon to very unhealthy proportions and she drinks and smokes at unhealthy levels and lives in a non-productive and horrible relationship where she is very angry most of the time. My sister who is next in line to me is very narcissistic in nature and is motivated by all things that look good and her compensation is a horrible marriage and a renovated home that she loves to talk about.

      The only person in my FOO who has anything that resembles a great life is my brother who has married a lovely woman and he is a great father to his two kids who adore him. He is also a wonderful companion and husband to his wife. I attribute this to my mother giving him a lot of unconditional attention when he was a child, and to the fact that she arranged for him to have male adult contact right through his childhood after my father died.

      My mother is very closed off and she is 80 now. She is seemingly happy, but has never done any of the necessary inner work.

      So, I think I am the fortunate one who has a fantastic life now at the other end and for that I will be always very grateful.

      • accounts@sensortemp.com.au'
        Annie
        June 29, 2014

        So true Suzanne,
        You know I feel we where placed in our families for the reason that at this time here and now, to heal all those past generational wounds, so they cease to replicate through our DNA chain.
        What an important job we have been given and have taken on with courage.
        Much love to you
        xxxx

        • psyche@iinet.net.au'
          Suzanne
          June 30, 2014

          Hi Annie. We do have a lot of grist for the personal healing and growth mill when we grow up in our families. However, if we can learn to see the situations in the right way and heal all those inner wounds, we get to be very rich people who have a lot to give back to humanity once we are healed. I agree with you about stopping the generational programming. Mine went back quite a few generations so I am glad that I was able to stop it with me. Sounds like you have also.

  • diannew@spin.net.au'
    Dianne
    June 29, 2014

    I agree with Silv – I would have preferred
    to listen to Suzanne without Melanie’s
    interruptions.

    I think if Melanie has genuinely healed her own wounds she will take feedback and critique in a positive way.

    Personally, I don’t always feel comfortable with Melanie’s style……too much hype to sell a product.

    However, I do appreciate most of the information and find it very valuable, I am just very aware of the business side of things.

    Please do not play respond to my comments by playing the white knight.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 29, 2014

      Hi Dianne,

      I am very open and accepting of anyone’s opinions, and all are reflected inwardly.

      Yes, of course I am running a business, with the greatest orientation and passion to see other people experience what I and so many people now know.

      Which is the liberating of the devastation of narcissistic abuse into the most fulfilled and amazing lives they have ever known.

      Why wouldn’t I be passionate about encouraging that and wanting everyone to have that?

      Mel xo

    • galeetallen@gmail.com'
      GA
      June 29, 2014

      Hi Dianne,

      It’s funny. Usually when we feel the need to ‘attack’ or ‘put down’ others, or feel uncomfortable with someone else’s ‘style’ it’s because we usually feel that way about ourselves. Otherwise, we wouldn’t care enough and/or take the time/energy to say it. I wish you love and healing in your own journey because when we are able to recognize that in ourselves we are free.

      I, too, am very aware of the business side of things. I have owned, operated and sold many businesses, as well as consulted for start-up companies. Melanie’s approach to getting the word out there comes from a place of wanting to heal the world, instead of profiting from it. Otherwise she wouldn’t spend countless hours of her free time posting articles for free. Not to mention responding to others – that’s time out of her life and not getting paid for it.

      Personally, I wouldn’t be alive it it wasn’t for Melanie. So regardless of how one wants to see how she’s conducting her work, the bottom line is she helps others succeed in all areas of their life – and there is no price tag for that.

      All the best to you, Dianne!

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Hello Dianne. I can hear your preference and I am sure that Mel is well able to take feedback positively.

      One thing I would like to share with you is that we all have preferences. It is sometimes challenging to have something presented in a form in which we do not relate as well as another. Everyone is unique and responds to different things in their own way.

      I heard a story once that was given by Bill Harris, the man who started the Centerpointe Institute that produces the Holosync programme. He gave an example of a situation where a person threw a glass of cold water over two separate people. One person reacted very badly and was angered by the water that had been tipped over him. The other person simply enjoyed the experience and laughed.

      Everyone is going to respond to the radio show in their own way. Some will be very happy and some will prefer it to have been different.

      I hope that what was shared was interesting and helpful for you and that you were able to take away something useful for yourself.

      I did mention to someone else here on this thread, that if they found that it was a trigger, there is something underneath that is causing it. That has always been my experience.

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      One further comment Dianne about the business side of things. Melanie has begun this business from the point of view of wanting the world to know about the destructiveness of Narcissistic abuse. Had I had access to her work along with the NARP programme when I was suffering many years ago, I would have been able to shift all my inner pain much more quickly than I did back then. Back then, there was no NARP and no knowledge about N-abuse.

      It takes many hours of hard work to do all the research and a great deal of commitment to the task to produce these radio shows and blog articles, along with assisting all those who are seeking help with different issues that are responded to via email and private sessions. Mel deserves to be paid for her efforts because she, like all of us, needs to provide for her living and this is what she chooses to do for all of us who have benefited from her work. Her programme is extremely reasonably priced and is well worth what it costs. There are many programmes out there on the market that cost many, many more times the price of NARP and give so much less value. This programme gives us a pain-free life that is worth so much more.

      I have my work as no doubt you have yours. I get paid for what I do and I expect that. I am just so pleased that Mel has the commitment to her work so that we can all benefit. It is due to NARP and her articles and her sensitive responses to me during the worst of the last year and a half, that has enabled me to dig out all those hidden wounds exposed by my relationship with my ex-b.

      I do not experience any hype with Mel at all. I am very aware when there is something that has hype and this is not one of them.

      • accounts@sensortemp.com.au'
        Annie
        June 29, 2014

        may I please second that Suzanne!
        xxxxxxxxxx

        • psyche@iinet.net.au'
          Suzanne
          June 30, 2014

          You certainly may Annie. I think that Mel does an amazing job and she gives a great deal of her own time to her work. It is such important work too. I was talking to a friend last night and discovered that she is in an abusive relationship. I was so glad that I had somewhere for her to go to learn about what she is involved in. Her marriage is 13 years old and she had no idea about what she could do to help herself. She is the second person within the past week who has been pointed in the direction of Mel and NARP. Having read all the literature and worked with the NARP programme, I know that this will actually help these two women to heal if they follow through.

          • Melanie Tonia Evans
            June 30, 2014

            Thank you ladies,

            It is passion – breathing and living this personally as well as directing other people with all of my heart and soul.

            So many people breaking free, are the result of that.

            There is nothing that needs justifying.

            Bless your support 🙂

            Mel xo

  • bgate@comcast.net'
    Barry
    June 29, 2014

    I find some of these comments very interesting.

    Personally I am so grateful Melanie promoted NARP and convinced me to take it on. I would be dead if she hadn’t.

    Why on earth would you knock something that saves lives, or someone encouraging people to take that path?

    Obviously Silv and Dianne, you are not working NARP, and don’t know what the relief feels like, because if you did you would be shouting it from the rooftops too.

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Hello Barry. I am glad that you have found healing via the use of NARP. I can so relate to that. It shifts all that pain out of our bodies in a wonderful way. It sounds as if you are well on the way to experiencing a fantastic new and pain-free life.

  • angels768@bigpond.com'
    JB
    June 29, 2014

    I listened to the radio show last night, and I have to say after just starting my NARP journey, I am totally inspired by everything that Suzanne and Melanie were saying. I relate so much to Suzanne’s struggle since childhood. I find it ridiculous after being sponsored onto NARP for free by Mel – as was another girl in my abuse recovery group who contacted Melanie with financial difficulty – that she is in this for the ‘business’… Nothing from my experience and the help Melanie has given me for free by email would indicate what you are inferring.I think people should know facts before making assumptions. I agree with GA this says more about yourself than the person you are pointing the finger at.

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 30, 2014

      Hello JB. I am so glad that you are working NARP and are experiencing healing changes in your life. This disease of co-dependency is a killer in all ways if it is not given the right treatment. So many have died or had miserable lives because they could not find a way out. We are the fortunate ones.

  • carol.artlife@gmail.com'
    Carol
    June 29, 2014

    I would like to say a big thanks to Suzanne for sharing her story and also to wish her well in her life. It also confirms for me that there are many ways to live a happy life from the inside out. As humans, we have been taught that happiness comes from the outside in, and I am so glad that this is now changing. Thanks to Melanie too – for getting this message out. I would have still been stuck in my own long term relationship pattern of abuse if not for this work xxxx

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      June 29, 2014

      Hello Carol. It is my pleasure. I am glad that you found the radio show helpful. It is indeed true that we need to live our lives from the inside out and not go searching for life in things external to us.

      From the sounds of things, you have experienced a lot of healing too and have made many discoveries that have benefited you. I am so glad that your life is now changing to reflect your inner changes. Congratulations to you for your commitment.

      I found that when I did live from the outside in, looking for things to fill up my emptiness, that is was counter-productive and did not deal with all that inner pain that was affecting my life so radically.

      My psychiatrist once told me that when I had come through the pain to the other side, that I would never again live my life in quite the same way. I became aware that I had to do everything with consciousness and could not get everything done with ease in the way that I did when just living an ego-directed life.

      Even though I did heal some core wounds back then, I did not heal all of them, as you may have gathered by the radio show. It was only after I was involved with my ex-b, that I realised that there was a lot more healing to do. What had taken several years, and even being in touch with my inner child feelings, had still not shifted the core beliefs; hence the second N relationship.

      It has only been through the energy work of NARP that I have been able to dig out so many more of those old beliefs and core wounds and heal them so that my life runs wonderfully well these days.

      Conventional therapy does not remove these at the core and although we can make wonderful cognitive changes in the way that we deal with life, we are still bound to attract N because we have not healed the inner core wounds and beliefs that underlie our behaviour.

      Another thing that I noticed, is that it took several years of being separated from my ex in order to let go of the hatred and pain and to be able to live productively.

      Using NARP has enabled me to move through all the pain and issues, feelings and clearing of beliefs in just 1.5 years. I am sure that all of these are now out of my system for good.

  • quintonedward.jantjies@gmail.com'
    Quinton Edward
    July 1, 2014

    Thank you for such an inspiring story ladies, Melanie and Suzanne. I am going no contact from tomorrow and feel quite nervous as the Narc is not suspecting this at all and has been quite sweet the past few weeks. My head is trying to tell me that I am imagining things, but I know that I am not and that leaving will be good for me and even for him IF he decides to take the opportunity to go within too.
    Due to the fact that I have been living with the Narc I could not get the opportunity to work NARP a lot but intend to do a few sessions a day as soon as I am out. I have to work a lot on Modules 6 and 8 especially as guilt and fear are my biggest triggers.
    I really admire the wisdom of you, Suzanne and hope to get to that state after working on myself diligently. I also admire Melanie for the way she responded to the critique above. Yes, you are right, you are running a business and it is your passion to help people attain that emotional freedom too.
    I find it very funny that some people expect spiritual teachers and healers to do their work for free when they don’t expect it from doctors and dentists and other “people orientated proffessions”. Marketing is necessary.
    Another thing, the Melanie I know does take note of what is said on these threads. I remember making a comment about seeing more racial color on this blog and website and a few weeks later, there was racial color.

    Lotsa Love xo

    • raeannerose@gmail.com'
      Raeanne
      July 1, 2014

      Good luck Quinton… and stay strong.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 2, 2014

      Hi Quinton,

      sending you healing and strength. It is so much more supportive to be working Modules, so that when the fear and pain surfaces, you can clear it and support yourself.

      Thank you for your lovely and supportive comments, and please reach out for support in this time if needed.

      Mel xo

  • margarit72@aol.com'
    Jane M
    July 1, 2014

    Dear Suzanne and Mel,
    Thank you for a most incredible show. I replayed parts couple of times to hear the two of you again and again.
    Suzanne, when you described how once you wanted to talk with the NARC about something that was important to you but he said he didn’t even want to hear you, and did not care, I got a flashback to my own past. The times when the ex-NARC would wake me up in the middle of the night, despite me so needing the sleep as I had to go to a new job in the morning. He did that relentlessly for a very long time. He said he did that because I didn’t give him sex before going to sleep. When I said: “do you not care I’m tired and need to seep to be able to work the next day?”, he said: “No, I don’t care.” I stayed regardless.
    I loved how direct Suzanne was in saying she thought that if she stayed and gave and gave, that meant she loved but now she knows that’s not love. It was staying and giving to get: safety, security, a man. I did that too. I thought I loved but now know it was not love at all. It was co-dependency.
    I appreciated Mel’s addition of words of wisdom on this point: if you don’t value yourself enough and continue staying with abuse, then how can you expect the NARC to value you?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 2, 2014

      Hi Jane M.,

      I agree there were really powerful points in Suzanne’s story..

      Her journey has been so profound, and she has gained so much self-realisation from it.

      I am so glad you enjoyed this show and got a lot out of it!!

      You are so right – it wasn’t love…

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      July 8, 2014

      Hello Jane, I think that if you are able to see the N for the needy little boys/girls that they are, you can always place them developmentally at ages between around 3 – 5 years. I teach Kindergarten and Pre-primary children and they are very ego-centric at that age. With good parenting, they learn to take the other’s point of view and learn to adjust their behaviour and hopefully develop empathy and acceptance for others’ feelings. Unfortunately for the N, they do not develop this capacity and are stuck at that early age and are capable of the rages that we have experienced in our own lives.

      I did think that if I gave, that it meant that I was loving. At that stage of my own journey, I did not realise that love was something that had to come out of me unconditionally. It is about giving and just doing that because it is who I am and I have that inside me to give to another; no strings attached. However, back then, I had a lot of strings; hence the giving to get.

      One thing that I do find interesting about N is that they do seem to keep strange hours and spend a lot of time wandering around the house at night. I had this experience and I have learned that a lot of other people have had that too. They also like you to be awake to hear all about what is important to them. They do not care if YOU need to sleep and get offended when you do go to sleep. In fact, they often get very put out.

      That is why it is so important to set boundaries that serve us and make sure that we get what we need for ourselves, by ourselves, in legitimate ways where there are no strings attached.

      In regard to getting enough sleep, it is really their problem if they have no-one to talk to and cannot get sex when they need it. Since they are incapable of understanding and empathising with us, it is useless expecting it from them. It is like saying that a wild lion is the same as a domestic cat that you can pet and cuddle. Not so!

      So, if we are with someone like that, we are the ones who will get burned. We have to love and care for ourselves sufficiently to really give ourselves what we need to be happy and well-cared for. It is us who need to value ourselves, and not stay in a situation that is abusive. That is like us using the N’s voice and actions to add to the abuse that we are allowing into our lives.

      It does not matter what they say or what their excuses are; that is their stuff and it is up to the N to sort out all that for him/herself. It is not our responsibility. So, it is wise to stand our ground, live how we want to live, not engage more than is necessary if we are still living with the N and make our own plans for the kind of life we want to live.

      If we want to live empowered lives, then we need to live within our integrity and value system and remove whatever it is that does not match who we are. If we make that a practice, and also continue to dig out and heal all those inner wounds, then we can have peaceful, empowered and joyous lives.

  • joungh@yahoo.com.au'
    lucy
    July 8, 2014

    Hi Suzanne,

    It’s really great finding out more about you. Thank you for sharing. Your story is so encouraging and gives me hope.
    I am going to start the program. Could I ask which modules are best for releasing fear and guilt. My ex has tapped onto this weakness and plays it all the time.

    • psyche@iinet.net.au'
      Suzanne
      July 8, 2014

      Hi Lucy. I am so please that you enjoyed learning about my story. I am so glad that I have moved on from those early and very painful days. It is good to feel encouraged and as if we are going in the right direction for us that is healthier and which supports us positively.

      I am sure that once you engage with the NARP programme and start to clear out all your old beliefs and feelings, that you will start to feel a whole lot happier and in a lot less pain very soon.

      Mel has already shared that you should start with Module 1 to clear out the worst of the pain. You may need to do that one quite a few times until all the charges are down. You will know when you do the module though when it is time to move on. She has already shared about Modules 3 and 6. I have also found those very helpful and have needed to do them several times because more and more stuff came up that I did not know was there.

      The two other modules that have been very helpful for me are Module 2, releasing the ideal of the N as the perfect partner, and Module 9, releasing the connection to the N, have brought up lots of pain and old beliefs and feelings for clearing and healing.

      You might also want to set yourself some small goals that are easily achieveable, for how you want your life to look. If you set some really simple goals and achieve them, that can be very empowering.

      Look forward to learning about all your progress.

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    July 8, 2014

    Hi Lucy,

    that is great that you are going to start NARP. Module 1 is the first go to Module, to clear the immediate pan and fear. If the guilt is a really big charge for you – you will find that Module 1 will help clear a lot of it.

    You will also find that Mod 3, Forgiving Yourself, and Mod 6 Releasing Feelings of Responsibility will also be very powerful to clear this ‘guilt hook’.

    Also once you are on NARP (If Gold) you have incredible guidance and direction in the NARP Forum to help you with any ‘how to’…

    I hope this helps!

    Mel xo

  • rose700@skymesh.com.au'
    Rosemary Duncan
    May 18, 2016

    Dear Melanie,
    I just have this burning question,because although I understand it all now thanks to YOU, I am not a person to deny the struggle of another person’s way of coping . I was terribly wounded by my husband,but CAN you ever feel sorry for a narcissist ? Can you EVER remove yourself from your own pain enough to feel compassion for such a disordered and miserable freak ? I want to take the high ground because that is a personal quality which attracted the narcissist to me in the first place,but are they deserving of your compassion when you see how hard it really was for them to survive ? Or do I just delete him and dismantle my whole marriage ?
    He was killed in a horrible motorcycle accident 3 months ago.so obviously there will be NO MORE CONTACT. But in seeking resolution,I am just wondering for my own sake if it is right/healthy to feel sorry for him ? I have read that you cannot lead/pray/educate him into better neurology,but still I am saddened at the thought of his inner misery and all the years of conflict and stress between us when I did not understand his drives. He died with nothing but brokenness and betrayal and disappointment as his legacy to me,and I am anguished that a man’s life could end like this and that,while living, he could not escape from the prison of his inner torment.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 18, 2016

      Hi Rosemary,

      for all of us who have worked on releasing our wounds and torment re being N-abused, we do reach a place of acceptance and compassion for these people – as well as gratitude for them granting us the ability to self-partner and heal.

      Ultimately NARP and the Module work allows us to up-level ANY painful feelings we have about what we experienced or even the feeling we experience ABOUT their experience.

      There is a deeper wider truth to all of this – that I believe – which may help you.

      It is in this article I wrote about here:

      https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-soul-contract-with-a-narcissist/

      Mel xo

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