Comments on: The 4 Steps to Opening Your Heart After Narcissistic Abuse

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 09 Nov 2018 06:30:01 +0000

In reply to Jill.

Awww Jill,

I am so pleased you feel hope now.

Power to you Dear Lady and sending you blessings and breakthroughs.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 08 Nov 2018 22:57:29 +0000

Hello Melanie! Thank you very much for the 4 Steps to Opening the Heart! I will endeavor to engage my love within and do my shifting and releasing to reach my soul graduation. In my past I can remember categorizing men in an attempt to “trick” what I believed was my curse. Like, musicians and artists don’t work for me, I think the answer is with rugged cowboys instead. Oh, rugged cowboys are no good either. Think I’ll go with academic professor-types. Etc, etc, etc, on and on. I believed that the personality and job title made the match. Eventually, I reached a breakdown in May 2018. I am so grateful for FINALLY meeting YOU, a woman who puts my painful experience into words, words that are of Truth, not just bandage-like intellectual thoughts, which in the end were always useless and ineffective. Thanks so much Melanie. I have hope for the first time in my life.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 21:38:15 +0000

In reply to Cricket.

Hi Cricket,

your question is spot on correct and the basis of my healing work – finding and healing WHY we are attracted / attractive to N’s.

This may help: https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-and-co-dependent-two-sides-of-the-same-coin/

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-separates-a-co-dependent-from-a-narcissist/

To start healing from this Cricket: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

Much Love xo <3

By: Cricket

Cricket — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 20:36:06 +0000

Hi Melanie,

I wasn’t sure where to post this. Hopefully you still check posts on older articles.

I have a controversial question. I have been drawn to NPD and sociopath people all my life (especially romantic partners). I’m reeling after yet another hugely devastating breakup from one of them now, along with a slew of health issues and damage to my life. I’m a doctor. I’ve been trained to recognize trauma and the body’s way of internalizing it. I’m also an empath. My question is this…are we, codependent empaths, just as addicted to the NPDs as they are to us? As an empath I’m addicted to the high I get when I’m needed, when I can heal others. I think I’m also addicted to the pain and victimhood unfortunately. I grew up in a family with 2 NPDs so they feel intimately familiar. I recognized that there was something wrong with each NPD ex but it drew me to them instead of repulsing me. Are we not drawn to our opposites like ying and yang? Are we not just as imbalanced as the NPDs, just as addicted to drama? They get their fuel from us, for sure, but I think we get it from them just as much. I think that what I’m experiencing now is akin to severe withdrawal. Because maybe I’m just as imbalanced, with addictions to pain and rescuing others. Maybe the trick is to seek balance and accept our darker side and become more self serving? I have felt like a victim most of my life because I allowed the victimization. I want to take responsibility in my role in these relationships. Thoughts?

By: John

John — Tue, 23 Jan 2018 04:46:05 +0000

In reply to Mary. Really?

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 19 Dec 2017 05:10:28 +0000

In reply to Belle.

Hi Belle,

my experience was and still is – doing the deep inner work in my body regarding my relationship, to heal whatever gets triggered that has come up to be healed.

That work on our traumas is not a head job – it truly is a deep inner reprogramming job.

Have you considered NARP to heal from the abuse of the past and work on the triggers of the now?

https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

That is my highest recommendation Belle.

Mel xo

By: Belle

Belle — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 23:15:16 +0000

I’ve done and continue to do the work, but I am finding that I am over thinking my new partner. I analyse everything and because of that, I’m misreading him and firing back with all guns blazing.

It is so hard to find the balance after prior experiences – abusive parents, emotionally abusive partners… It’s like they bestowed this hangover to me, where I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it hasn’t. But part of me expects it to.
My partner is fantastic and we have an excellent relationship …I need to be confident in him and I need to be confident my choices about him are right …

Does that come with time? What was your experience Mel?

By: Belle

Belle — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 23:10:11 +0000

In reply to Brian.

I’m twice divorced and finally have partnered with a lovely human being. I am still working on my issues but he is loving and understanding.
Lots of people have been divorced. Lots of people will continue to be divorced and lots of people will continue to re partner. Some of us actually want to get it right, just once.

I missed nothing. I compromise on many things but finding a loving partner who isn’t a narc or psychopath is something I will not compromise on.

Chin up Brian. It’s good out there.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 10:16:37 +0000

In reply to Helene.

Hi Helene,

please know that if our original traumas are not healed – even if we decide against EVER going there again – it will just show up “another way”. I promise you that I have experienced this myself, and sometimes the bottom denominator in painful beliefs that we absorbed in childhood is the blanket trauma of “I don’t deserve real love” “I can have true love” etc.

Truly whatever it is, when we go inside to meet it – pattern or not we can heal it. I’d love you to come into my free workshop – https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to experience what Quanta Freedom Healing can do for you.

I hope this helps give you hope.

Mel xo