Melanie Tonia Evans

Thriver TV Is Back For 2018 + A Huge Announcement

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 6
105
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

It’s SO good to be back.

This is our first Thriver TV back for 2018, and I am very excited for this year!

Thank you for being so patient and letting me have such a lovely Thriver renewal break from doing videos and articles over January … it was divine!

And I hope with all my heart that you were able to have some downtime, doing the things you enjoy and being with those that you love over the holiday break, to nourish your mind, body and soul too.

It’s so important for us Thrivers to rejuvenate. Personally – I feel so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed right now!

It’s amazing what a holiday does … ohhh…. and I can’t wait to share with you some really EXCITING news. (*Hint … there was a little more to my holiday than just cocktails, shopping and massages!) I’m busting to share this incredibly special news with you TODAY!!

Also, in this Thriver Tv episode today, I will let you know about the format for the learning, growth and Thriving that we will be doing together in 2018. And … how we are going to make this year your best year yet.

I think many of us can feel something in the air about how powerfully healing and expansive 2018 can be. I really do believe it’s going to be so many people’s breakthrough year.

So … its time now to reach out and link in with each other, lose our trauma and start letting life flow through us as us – because “wellbeing” is here in abundance! It absolutely is when we are in the position to receive it.

And please know, we are all in this together – this business of healing, expanding, Thriving and being the healthiest we can be, and reaching for the best life that is our destiny after narcissistic abuse.

We did not go through all that trauma for nothing – let me tell you!

And … as I said before I am so excited to share some REALLY important news with you in today’s video!

Let’s kick 2018 off to be a breakthrough year! I can’t wait to continue this incredible journey with you.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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105 Thoughts on Thriver TV Is Back For 2018 + A Huge Announcement
  • annabelhc@gmail.com'
    Bellle
    February 7, 2018

    Many congratulations lady!
    Fantastic news.
    Thriving, not just surviving because of you.

    X

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Bellle,

      thank you so much, Darling lady!

      Awww, I am so happy for you 🙂

      Mel xo

      • kellypage1986@gmail.com'
        kelly
        February 8, 2018

        Melanie i’m totally new to your work and blog i don’t know even how to comment properly on it hence the reason i’m commenting on one of your comments. Melanie i don’t know if your familiar with out of body experience? But the message your teaching is very very similar what i was told by a spiritual being that spoke to me in an out of body experience i had back in 2015! you are so on the right track with this message!

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          February 9, 2018

          Hi Kelly,

          I am so happy you made your way here. Welcome 🙂 I so do Kelly and I absolutely have had them!

          That is great that the Thriver message resonates with you!

          Mel xo

      • Suomionehundred@gmail.com'
        Howaboutnow
        February 8, 2018

        Melanie you are the one who speaks in a way that my soul understands but I still can’t figure out what does going inwards mean when it comes to healing trauma and changing beliefs. Does it mean that I have to feel my pain and cry if I have to and somehow let it go? Could you give an example of a trauma and how one does heal it.

        Let’s say I have an trauma of being called by names and beaten by my Nparent.
        Thank you!

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          February 9, 2018

          Hi Howaboutnow,

          I am so pleased my information helps, but you are right – the transformation healing (releasing trauma) is where it is really all at.

          The best way to understand is to directly experience it.

          Come into my free webinar and there I show you and take you through EXACTLY how to do it. http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

          Can’t wait to see you there 🙂

          Mel xo

      • p.j.godfrey@hotmail.com'
        Jane Godfrey
        February 10, 2018

        Very excited about your book. I will wait anxiously for it. Thank you for this.

  • Londellsenstock87@gmail.com'
    Lela Senstock
    February 7, 2018

    So happy you are back. Look forward to spending time with you this year!!! Beauty tips and excercise tips would be great!! Live Q and A… awesome

    Love you Mel!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Lela,

      It’s great to be here … I can’t wait to hang out with you either – and I really do think beauty and exercise tips will be SO much fun!

      Love you heaps too Lela – Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Karynchoate@gmail.com'
    Karyn
    February 7, 2018

    Congratulations Melanie! Thank you for taking all of us along on your amazing journey ~ it’s so inspiring. You are such a beautiful example of healing and thriving, with love of self and love of all life being the common theme.
    Seeing is believing, and you’ve shown us all how wonderful life can really be and the roadmap on how to get there from a place that was so hopeless and desolate, sad and unfulfilling.
    Up leveling our souls is our greatest purpose in life and once we have started awakening from a truly unconscious state life really does become magical!
    I’m so excited for the book to come out as I know many, many people are!
    Much love and success Mel! XO

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Karyn,

      thank you!! It’s my absolute pleasure … and I love that I get to live my work as me! I am very blessed!

      You are so right – there is no greater mission than up-levelling our soul and the awesome thing is when we do that all of our dreams fall into place …

      Feeling your love and support profoundly from here Dear Lady, for which I am so grateful.
      Mel xo

  • priebco@yahoo.com'
    Jennifer
    February 7, 2018

    Congrats Melanie! You articulate the intricacies of the narcissistic abuse situation like nobody else-I am always awestricken at how you nail the behaviours that I could not quite put my finger on while they were all happening to me. If only I had discovered you years ago! Your work has been so helpful for me to reflect on as I recover from my narc, and managing the contact I have to maintain with him in dealing with kids and visitation. Thanks so much-your talents should be showcased in books-you are the best!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Jennifer,

      than you! I am so happy my work resonates with you and makes sense 🙂

      And .. that it has helped!

      Sending many blessings and continued healing to you and your children.

      Mel xo

  • jonninp@hotmail.com'
    Donna P
    February 7, 2018

    Oh yay! I’ve been waiting for this to happen! Where can I pre-order a copy?? 🙂
    And then Oprah HAS to get you on Super Soul Sunday 🙂 🙂
    Thank you for everything Mel, you give hope when there is none.
    2017 was horrendously challenging but I’m finally seeing some light in 2018.
    Much love and gratitude to you and all that you do xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Donna,

      yay indeed! I have no idea!! hahha I am just the writer … but I am sure we will be notified when they are available!

      Gosh – wouldn’t that just be the business getting on the Big O’s show! (I’d love that!)

      I’m so thrilled for you hun that you are making your way out of the darkness into the Light

      So many blessings to you Donna.

      Mel xo

  • allisonplyler@gmail.com'
    Allison
    February 7, 2018

    So excited for you Melanie!! You and Thriver TV have been a life line to me personally over the past year and I am so happy to hear about your book. Best of luck to you as you work to get this out to us. Thank you for your persistence and message of hope. I will be the first in line to buy the book when it comes out! Love your ideas for 2018. Coparenting is an especially difficult topic for me and one I could use help with.

    Blessings!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Allison,

      thank you very much – I am so pleased you are excited!

      You are very welcome Allison, and I am honoured to keep helping you all that I can 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Pirategaijin@yahoo.com'
    Jim
    February 7, 2018

    Fantastic!!
    Very, very, happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • stacey@sunlitstud.io'
    Stacey
    February 7, 2018

    Such good news Melanie and so glad you will be reaching a larger audience!
    Your Thriver TV has been so helpful, informative and healing and really appreciate all you have done to
    broaden the understanding of narcissistic abuse and how to recover from it.
    Hugs and gratitude.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Stacey,

      thank you and Yay – it is so exciting!

      Lots of love and gratitude to you too Lovely Lady!

      Mel xo

  • roma4amor@gmail.com'
    Deanna
    February 7, 2018

    Welcome back!
    Congratulations!!!!!!
    Much love and gratitude to you wonderful and dear lady xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Deanna,

      thank you sweetheart, I am so pleased I could help and much love to you.

      Mel xo

  • apol_13@yahoo.com'
    Anastasia Poliakova
    February 7, 2018

    So glad to hear the news about the book!
    I have been working with your system for almost a year – what an amazing and gratifying experience! I would love to offer my candidacy to translate the book into Russian! I’m an English professor living in the US and a woman who has experienced NA and has been healing successfully with your modules. I can totally do it! Keep me in mind. Lol
    I have actually been thinking of all the russian women in the US and around the world who have been or are being abused, but do not have enough language proficiency to use your modules – wouldn’t it be wonderful to offer in translation?!
    Sometime when appropriate to the topic, please, take a minute and share your thoughts on the situation where a person from a different culture and a different native language gets into a narcissistically abusive relationship. There are so many dangers there, and the cognitive dissonance?! – lord have mercy!
    Anyways, good luck and smooth sailing to you writing your book . Can’t wait to read it:)

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Anastasia,

      thank you! 🙂

      Thank you so much for your offer, once the book is out we will be looking at expanding into other languages. Can you please email support@melanietoniaevans.com so that we can keep you on record for this?

      Hmmm I love that idea about tuning into your question. I can only imagine what could eventuate, especially when narcissistic – so many different nuances would add to the crazy confusion.

      Many blessings to you Anastasia and thank you again for being so supportive of this mission. 🙂

      Mel xo

    • Angeltalk710@aol.com'
      Theresa
      February 8, 2018

      Dear Anastasia, please do send me an email via contact form on http://www.theresacheung.com as what you said in your email resonated greatly with me and have a suggestion for you that might help Mel and you here spread the word. Xx

  • Margarit72@aol.com'
    Jane
    February 7, 2018

    Mel, Can’t wait to read your book!!
    And I’ve missed your TV thrive shows– so great to have you back!
    Re possible topics, I was wondering if you can discuss how to prevent narcissism from forming? When is the disorder formed? In childhood?
    I’m curious about it because you say once one is a narcissist they can’t heal so how to prevent their creation? Parents healing and becoming conscious of boundaries comes to my mind but is there anythi g else? I’ve seen how good/honest parents raise narcissists. I’m thinking of my in laws who are very descent people yet they raised two narcissistic men.
    Anyway, I’m wondering about how to prevent narcissism to begin with….looking forward to your thoughts on this.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Jane,

      I am so happy you are looking forward to it!

      I would love to do an episode on “How Is Narcissism formed” it’s a big topic. I agree there are great parents who raised narcissists – absolutely!

      Look out for this episode I will be pushing for it with the MTE team!

      Mel xo

    • Angeltalk710@aol.com'
      Theresa
      February 8, 2018

      Mel, Thank you from my heart. As you know your NARP program helped me recover when nothing else worked. Truly hope this book will bring your healing words and wisdom to countless more people so they can thrive. Your book was meant to be so I believe it would have happened regardless but feel so honoured to have helped facilitate it. Loads of love and looking forward to the next video and meeting you when you tour the U.K:) Theresa Xx

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        February 8, 2018

        Hi Theresa,

        beautiful angel lady – you are so welcome and thank you from our hearts for everything that you have done for me, Zac and MTE. We love and appreciate you so much!

        I am so happy you are back to your shining True Self, and I can’t wait to see you in the UK and have that big hug!!

        Mel xo

      • Sasjosephine@gmail.com'
        Sophie
        February 10, 2018

        Melanie
        A topic that I would like see addressed is trying to survive with a narcisstic husband and a narcisstic child . My ability to survive the narcisstic tachitics that these two used against me by their need to support one another ,and their need to dominate,control and degrade had me living a night mare .
        I am a survivor but the loss of two grand children and a beautiful son in law i( who is currently being narcissisticly abused ) is very painful .
        I am so thankful that I have taken your program . My healing is a work in progress ,,, so grateful for your experience and your knowledge .
        Also that you are reading a book . Wow and thank you .

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          February 11, 2018

          Hi Sophie,

          you poor thing my heart goes out to you – that is so horrible and painful what you are dealing with.

          It is a very valid topic choice, and one that I would love to address – absolutely.

          I can’t imagine how painful your loss must feel like. I am so happy that you have NARP and you are working with it to clear your trauma of this.

          Sending you and the little ones so much love and healing.

          Mel xo

  • winespell@gmail.com'
    Deborah
    February 7, 2018

    Oh my gosh, Melanie, I am so deeply grateful your book will be published and reach a larger audience of millions who are in need of healing from narcissistic abuse and who, like I previously was, aren’t even aware of what is happening to them or why, or the utterly devastating effect it is having upon them and how difficult a challenge it can be to dig yourself back out from it, or how to find their way out of it and to move on to a better life.

    Bless you for all that you do, which is always so authentic and heart centered. When I do my daily gratitudes, I always include, “I am so grateful for Melanie Tonia Evans.” If I didn’t find out from you what was going on with the narc abuse I was caught up in and healed the traumas inside if me, I very likely would have gotten sucked in by yet another one and be merely surviving rather than having any hope of someday thriving.

    Though it has been a long road to getting my life back on track after all of the damage that was done, I’m feeling and doing better now than I have in years. For the first time in forever i am excited about my new life and my new future. And I want for everyone everywhere who is involved in a narcissistically abusive situation to learn what is happening to them and why, and how to get themselves out and stay out of abusive situations forever. I will definitely help in any way I can to get the word out about your book.

    You are such an inspiration to me as I continue on my journey towards finding and being my greatest most authentic heart centered contribution to the world.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Deborah,

      thank you for your gorgeous message and support and thank you for including me in your gratitude! I am so grateful for you too!

      I love that you are healing and are passionate about others finding their way out of the pain too 🙂

      Bless you for Thriving Deborah and shining your Light!

      Mel xo

  • saralynnstutsman@gmail.com'
    Sara L
    February 7, 2018

    As the product of two narcissists, I was groomed a certain way, but I was aware that the world I grew up in was different from what could be in life. I married my best friend of more than 4 years, thinking that he was the opposite of my father. After more than three decades of an increasingly frustrating and damaging marriage, I finally figured out that his behavior was that of a very passive, passive-aggressive covert narcissist.

    He has been gone for 13 months. I have been strictly no contact for 6 months, (I had my attorney write a No Contact clause into the divorce decree), and have been divorced for 3 months.

    I discovered your work in July last year, and it resonates so loudly and clearly with my heart and soul. I have educated myself on narcissism to the point of becoming an armchair expert. YET, I have hit a wall in my journey, and I don’t quite know what to call it. The wall is a lifetime of narcissistic programming, experiences, messages about myself… no mater what my mind KNOWS to be true, no matter how much I honor my feelings, no matter how my soul validates the truths I take in, I hit this wall (I think it may be doubt steeped in the 55 years of life in my world steeped in narcissistic behavior). The wall, this doubt (for lack of a better word), is solid, and it blocks me from truly integrating and hanging onto the truth of myself. Can you help me name this and possibly address it in on Thriver TV?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Sara,

      please know that wall is simply the trauma within your Being has not been released yet – that is it!

      When that is still there, no matter what we “know” the new order simply can’t take up residence inside us and be embodied. It keeps getting booted out! It is like trying to get a new car into the garage when an old wreck is still in its path.

      It honestly is no more complicated than that – even though our mind tries to work it all out!

      Come into my free webinar and I promise you, you will learn about and experience, directly in your body, what it is to start releasing that toxic stuff we took on, and how the shift happens when we do. Because the space for lifeforce, wellbeing and our True Self emerges and enters.

      That is how myself and others healed and Thrived – we didn’t do it through mind “information” we did it through inner being “transformation”.

      That happens here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      Mel xo

    • Getmail100@yahoo.com'
      Bren
      February 7, 2018

      Sara, welcome…..there is only one thing to do……firstly do her free webinar, Mel has a 16 day free online FB course and then, Without hesitation, DO THE NARP PROGRAM, there is no other advice to be given and NOTHING ELSE TO DO, but this program. It will change your life forever. Best investment you’ll ever make for yourself!

    • winespell@gmail.com'
      Deborah Bennett
      February 7, 2018

      Sara, I am no expert on this subject except from my own personal experience. But my heart goes out to you, and believe me, narcissistic abuse is so absolutely totally mind bogglingly devastating to your confidence and your belief in yourself and destroys every aspect of your life almost beyond comprehension that you just have no idea how damaging it has all been till you’ve healed enougn to realize it.

      It’s no wonder you feel doubt. I am at least two years no contact, and my previously confident self has step-by-step gradually healed up and re-emerged, and I am absolutely re-blossoming, and it is so worth the time and the effort. And I would never have healed without the NARP program, so please just get it and do it. I didn’t have the money to do it, even though it doesn’t cost very much, but somehow I scraped together the money and just did it. It has totally changed my life beyond belief. I can’t even begin to tell you how much. It has been a night and day difference.

      Another thing that helped me that I learned from Dr. Joe Dispenza who I found out about through the NARP community was to write a list of what was triggering anxiety and stress and self doubt and fear as it happened and to review the list every day. I am shocked now when I read back on the things that I wrote about, and I am absolutely startled how I felt so incapable and powerless and insecure and terrified by facing simple, ordinary everyday challenges in life. That’s what narcissistic abuse does to you. It is so incredibly devastatingly destructive. But as you learn in NARP it is a gift that brings you to healing and creating an extraordinarily wonderful new life.

      Best wishes to you.

  • hannah.woolhouse@gmail.com'
    Hannah
    February 7, 2018

    Welcome back Melanie
    I’m so glad you had such a lovely holiday. I’ve been immersed in the Empowered Self course in your absence with occasional returns to QFH modules from NARP when necessary, it all fits so well together to support/shift what comes up.
    Marvellous for you and all who have suffered from narcissistic abuse that you are writing a book. Congratulations, I’m so looking forward to it.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Hannah,

      thank you so much, it is great to be back with you 🙂

      Yay, I love that you are toggling both those courses for wonderful results.

      Thank you so much for your love and support and I am so happy for your growth and expansion!

      Mel xo

  • fgerhard72@gmail.com'
    Faith Krcmarov
    February 7, 2018

    Good to have you back Mel, I cant believe how empty my inbox has been!
    One of the things that has been bought to my attention and that I have wanted to ask you is about reaching out to people that have not suffered narcissistic abuse.
    The better within myself I have become (and its been such a journey !) the more it has become evident to my friends. Quite a number of them have faced similar crisis – for instance whereby they have lost somebody very close, and it has caused them to question their life framework just as hard as I did mine. Many of them have gone on a similar journey to reclaim themselves, but without the benefit of the healing experience offered by your program. I directed them to your forum and spoke about much of the substance behind the healings as that is universal. Unfortunately the overprint of the narcissistic abuse turned them away because they had not suffered it themselves or was not their catalyst. So I was wondering if at some point there might be an opportunity (in the future) to diffuse the focus away from narcissism in order to make it accessible to many more people in crisis and keep the tide of spiritual evolution flowing to wider and wider audiences?
    I cant thank you enough for showing me the way Mel. Quantum Freedom Healing has changed my life already so much and it will continue to do so.

    Much love
    Faith

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Faith,

      Haha yes, the emails will start flowing again for sure!

      Absolutely we are going to be expanding out way past N-abuse – and what is great is that (as you know) the people who do clear N-abuse then work on all sorts of blocks and limitation with the programs (Goal Setting in NARP, Family Of Origin and Empowered Self) to expand, free themselves and generate and claim the life that is their Destiny – BUT … people who haven’t been abused can get turned away!

      Yes, a course for those not abused, for other trauma will be coming at some point! (After the book). Thank you so much for bringing this up – because we do wish to rectify this!

      Awww Faith I am so happy for you that your life is awesome now – you deserve it Lovely Lady.

      Mel xo

  • Getmail100@yahoo.com'
    Bren
    February 7, 2018

    Wonderful news Mel, very exciting and yes 2018 is starting to be a breakthrough year for sure. Forever grateful for the Narp program, I don’t recognise who I’ve become and becoming and myself at times from doing Narp with a passion to heal and become my truest self……Just revelling in this Thriver life. Definitely can’t wait for your book, congratulations, much love and success. Blessings……❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Bren,

      thank you so much 🙂 I am so happy for you that you are experiencing beautiful breakthroughs too this year!

      It’s an absolute joy to have shared in your growth and blossoming Bren, I am so happy for you – well fought for and deserved Dear Lady!

      Thank you so much for your support and best wishes for the book!

      Mel xo

  • cynthiapatterman44@gmail.com'
    Cynthia
    February 7, 2018

    Great friend, I must tell you the truth, I felt so free and good without the videos, not because you’re bad, you’re very helpful, you know how to help but you make too many videos and I feel pressure, it’s overwheming and I’m not able to heal, I don’t have the time and the space. Maybe you work too much and too hard. Hope you will not be offended by my words, it was not my intention. Love you

    • winespell@gmail.com'
      Deborah
      February 7, 2018

      Cynthia, I once felt what you feel, so I understand completely. Perhaps consider giving it some time. I feel differently now, but in the past I at times I thought oh no here’s another video from Melanie telling us how wonderful her Thriver life is and making me feel badly because I am just struggling. I also in the past thought she works too much and too hard, but then I realized that’s just how she is and how she enjoys being, and what she enjoys doing, and even if I’m not as hyperproductive as one might perceive her to be, we don’t all need to be the same, and her intentions are very heart centered and authentic. Sometimes I just archive the videos till the time feels right to watch them.

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        February 7, 2018

        Hi Deborah,

        oh gosh Dear Lady, it is so my desire to give you all I can so that you can stop struggling – and never have to go through that terrible pain again!

        Please read into what I have written as my reply to Cynthia, because I know I can really help you too – to really heal this for real.

        Mel xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Cynthia,

      please do know that the videos are supplements – they are not the deep core healing material of transformational shift work that the NARP Program does.

      When we are trying to learn and get the inner shift from information only, which is really the supplements to the deep inner shift work – the transformational inner healing – that many members of the Community here do (the ones who speak of NARP) it can feel overwhelming …

      And of course, listen to the videos at your time and leisure and which ones relate to you – it is totally your choice. It is only when we have the beliefs ‘I must keep up’ – or ‘I am missing something’ that we feel we have to watch all of them – you certainly don’t.

      Also, if you do want to give the informational supplements a break and get to the true core work – I would highly suggest leaving these you tube videos for now and coming just into this part of my deep healing work: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse.

      What you will find after taking that path is that it is much easier to watch these videos at your leisure and rather than trying to “learn” and “absorb the information” – they will be more like ‘I get it – yes that is what I feel and know now.” Which is such a different feeling – and one that most NARP members feel when they watch these videos as supplements to their core healing work.

      I so hope this helps and makes sense!

      Mel xo

  • kaye.nurture@gmail.com'
    Kaye Antoni
    February 7, 2018

    Dearest Mel

    So lovely to see you looking SO well, rested and ready to write a book on Narcisstic Abuse! Wow! 😮

    Heart opening and the best news.

    . Amazing to spread this goodness around the World 🌎

    Continued EVOLVEMENT and THANKYOU, a powerful and valuable resource to have and to use.

    Love Kaye
    💕

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Kaye,

      thank you so much for your gorgeous comment!

      So much love to you Kaye and bless you for your heartfelt support 🙂

      I’m very grateful.

      Mel xo

  • scbjrg@gmail.com'
    Susan
    February 7, 2018

    Hi I only just started with your work and programs in Nov after 3 narcisstic relationships (+ parent) When these relationships show my patterns, I turn to addictive behaviours to cope with the pain. Can you please address and discuss??

    • winespell@gmail.com'
      Deborah
      February 7, 2018

      Yes, raising my hand here to what Susan has said, and grateful also that you will be reaching out in the future to people beyond just the N abuse victims. I wish the entire world had at least the goal setting module to shift out everyday stress, anxiety, frustrations, anger and fear. It could heal the entire world, and that would be a very wonderful thing.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Susan,

      oh gosh I so relate – I used to be exactly the same!

      We break out of that by addressing the trauma- the addictive urges (of whatever it is) in our bodies with NARP Modules (Module 1 and Goal Setting are the best for this) to reach and release the trauma that is causing the anxiety that we are self-medicating with the choice of addiction.

      That stops us being addictive – truly.

      This may help: https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-an-addictive-nature-makes-you-a-match-for-a-narcissist/ and https://www.facebook.com/137377772251/videos/10155143578527252/

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • Simmonsnaomi@aol.com'
    Naomi
    February 7, 2018

    Wonderful news about the book. . Could you say again the name of the lady in the U.K. who set this path moving forward? I picked up the first name Theresa but not the rest. I would so love to check out her work, especially being in the UK myself. You have transformed my life Melanie.

  • ella.jakobson@gmail.com'
    Ella Jakobson
    February 7, 2018

    Hi Mel,
    Really wonderful news about the book, the world needs it!
    I haven’t been in contact with my narc for 10 years, and I still receive the odd email when I least expect it, he has multiple email addresses and I simply add the next one to the “blocked” list.
    Another one of those emails caught me a little bit unawares yesterday and I felt upset. Then I went online to read about “hoovering” and came across this…. “narcissistic covenant”
    https://narcsite.com/2016/08/10/the-narcissistic-covenant/comment-page-1/
    I found it quite enlightening.
    Blessings and warmest regards, Ella

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Ella,

      thank you for your support and also for those links. When I have some time I will read them!

      Wishing you many blessings too Ella and continued healing 🙂

      Mel xo

      • ella.jakobson@gmail.com'
        Ella
        February 8, 2018

        Thank you so much Mel!
        It is almost reassuring to know that the “follow-up hoovering” is always on the cards. The narc whose website links I provided, wrote in one of his comments that he once hoovered someone after 12 years!! How ridiculous is that lol.
        https://narcsite.com/2018/01/15/will-the-narcissist-deploy-a-follow-up-hoover-2/
        I wish you a banging super smashing 2018 and I can’t wait to read your book.
        Lots of love
        Ella

    • Cjwaltonxxx@gmail.com'
      Claudine
      April 30, 2018

      Ella you are still with a narcissist Raf is gaslighting you please get out while you can.

  • ella.jakobson@gmail.com'
    Ella
    February 7, 2018

    This one’s great….

    https://narcsite.com/prime-articles/how-no-contact-feels-pt-1/

  • ella.jakobson@gmail.com'
    Ella
    February 7, 2018

    This is a must-read!

    https://narcsite.com/2016/07/15/the-follow-up-hoover/

  • teresa1mccormick@aol.com'
    Teresa Maria McCormick
    February 7, 2018

    Hello Melanie,
    I have been a NARP member since March 2013.
    When I joined I was devastated, broken beyond recognition and not sure I should stay on this planet, in this form. Instead, a tiny little light – almost unseen, almost unheard – whispered to me to ” keep going”. I somehow managed to hear it – and I somehow managed to follow.
    Fast forward five years. As I pressed play on your video something said “show me that I should contribute more about my journey”. I didn’t have much time but I allowed myself the 10 minutes or so to watch your video. Then, the message became clear: You actually said my name: just like your publisher, my name is Teresa, also from the UK (Edinburgh), and I smiled as I wondered at the power of synchronicity.
    As a mother of two (son 26, daughter 20 – their father, my first husband, was before the narc husband) my journey, like so many others, brought me to the brink of extinction… Enough said.
    However, the little light I mentioned (one which I know even the most traumatised amongst us can relate to) kept shining its tiny, inextinguishable form, and I used it to navigate the darkness of the abyss I found myself in. I decided to stop thinking the thoughts: how could I have done this myself? why me? this is impossible? etc. Actually, I’m not even sure I replaced those thoughts with other positive ones. My process was simple:I just put one foot in front of the other, and with each step I decided to commit to a feeling of love. It was not easy. But like all meaningful journeys, its about the process. I graduated from Edinburgh University with Masters in History of Art last year – on the 4th of July would you believe. I had decided that if I was going to filly head with thoughts then I should at least make them about beautiful images and “stories” – so I did.
    My daughter tells me regularly: “mum, you used your trauma to assimilate a life changing learning process” and I hug her every time she reminds me. However, I want to say that the “learning” process need not be a university degree: it can be found in making our children beds; in doing the groceries; in cleaning the bathroom. Or indeed: in a coffee cup; during a massage; looking at a heart stopping painting.
    I want to call out to all those in our community: you can do this. No matter how much you feel this is impossible, there are those of us who have walked the thriver path – even in the thunderstorms – and have emerged. We never actually “arrive”: there are days when I am still triggered – but I use my “little light” (and Mel’s NARP!) to guide me.
    To all you beautiful people – protect your little light – and learn to make it a beacon for yourself and others.
    With much love.
    Teresa.
    ps. at a point during my healing journey I wished that the the narc husband would be transported to the other side of the planet. Well. He was! After I maintained No Contact (and all his Hoovering exploits), he moved to Australia: Melbourne the Mornington Peninsula (Black Rock). My daughter and I gasped when my lawyer told me. Having found Melanie from the other side of the world, to have the narc transported there seemed unusually synchronistic.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Teresa,

      I am so pleased you listened to that little inner light and followed it!

      Your message and post are so beautiful and articulate Teresa and I am sure many people can relate to it – I certainly do. I really do believe that it is only on the absolute brink of our demise that we feel that “thing” inside us that somehow keeps us going – because there truly was a Divine Plan for us all along.

      Your daughter is a very wise soul Teresa, you are both very blessed to have each other.

      Thank you for shining your Light Teresa and inspiring others to become their own. Wow that he has been transported only kilometres from here!! How lovely you are free!!!

      So much love and blessings to you and yours.

      Mel xo

  • jacquelinepepper@yahoo.co.uk'
    Jacqueline
    February 7, 2018

    Thank you so much Melanie, the Team and the Thriver Community. I’m 2 years into my journey. I feel wonderful, I now look wonderful and healthy and I have a fantastic life that I could only dream of 2 years ago. I can’t believe 2 years ago I joined the community a beaten down person with no self worth, looking drained, confused, sad and a magnet for a narcissist. The time and energy I used to put into trying to keep the narcissist happy is now lavished on myself with amazing results. I’ve gone from being disgusted at myself to so proud of myself. The narcissist discard two years ago was the golden key not the end of the world as I initially thought. Fantastic news about the book Melanie. People like you deserve a medal. Can’t wait to buy the book x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2018

      Hi Jacqueline,

      On behalf of all these wonderful people, you are so welcome 🙂

      I am so happy for you … how gorgeous that you put all that energy into shifting, healing and resurrecting you with stellar results!

      Mel xo

  • Lucyrunforjoy@gmail.com'
    Lucy
    February 8, 2018

    Welcome back Melanie – seeing your email pop into my inbox gave me a burst of joy. Your presence is a guiding and empathic light in the journey back to me, in this ‘big soul adventure’ of thriving. You don’t just give hope, but you embody a sincere energy and happiness in your desire to help others. Since finding your work in May last year, participating in the webinar, purchasing the Recovery program and watching every single one of your videos, every single thing you have said about being with a narcissist is true. We all have slightly different stories but the effects are the same. I have spent hours working on myself cognitively and with your Quantum healing, have the support of an amazing sister who has been beside me for every step of the way – through tears and breakdowns and breakthroughs and the inevitable chaos that breaking free from abuse brings. I am 50 years old, and I n the last 6 months, I have left the 24 year marriage, found a house for me and my children, created contract work and am building my life back. And been through the absolute trauma that arises when you leave a narcissist. Leaving the marriage was only one step – The abuse changes radically when you are no longer acquiescent. The modified contact is probably the hardest step in the journey and every thing you write about the necessity of MC is correct. Even knowing that nothing will change ever, and there won’t be a resolution, I have repeatedly been knocked off my feet after deciding to see my ex face to face, ‘for the sake of the children’. It’s the hardest most brutal lesson to learn when you share custody and there are times when I feel like the slowest learner in the world. I try to frame it in a way I can understand: I haven’t learned what the lesson is yet. And until I learn this truly, from a soul level, the storm of trauma will throw me every single time. And then I think, the universe gave me this challenge because SHE knows I am strong enough and have the light inside to heal from this trauma, even when I can’t see it. I have learned so much from you, and know that I have to do this, I have the power to thrive. Thank you for being a wonderful teacher, and also a beacon of hope, for us all. I am so happy about your book writing and I look forward to all your guidance, and to my own and everybody’s healing, in 2018. Love, Lucy

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2018

      Hi Lucy,

      thank you – and I am thrilled to be back 🙂

      Wow, you are doing an awesome job after 6 months only – you should be so proud of yourself Lucy!

      Keep going Lucy, and if you track the traumas through your body, release and heal them, that fire when you go get “knocked off your feet”, you will be free from the trauma that is seeking itself (causing you to a be the slow learner and not find the solution to this).

      Please trust me in knowing “that” way to heal this next part you need to heal, is SO MUCH FASTER than ever trying to work it our cognitively (there is truly no comparison).

      Does that make sense?

      Thank you for love and best wishes to all beautiful lady and so many back at you!

      Mel xo

  • ap2109@gmail.com'
    Amanda
    February 8, 2018

    Hi Mel, congrats on the book, can’t wait to read it! One topic I am struggling with is watching the narcissist go on to achieve success and acclaim in life. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does! Also, I struggle with seeing people who know how bad the narcissist is but still stand by him. Thanks!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2018

      Hi Amanda,

      thank you so much and I am so happy you are keen to read it!

      Amanda, are you working with NARP? If so the NARP Forum Thrivers can help you with how to shift this: http://www.melaietoniaevans.com/member and if not I thoroughly suggest thinking about taking your healing journey deeper … http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse – because that one you mention (it was big for me too) is all about unmet wounds in our body – and when they are released – truly we couldn’t care less if the N wins lotto or falls off the face of the planet!

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • sarahcraggs@tiscali.co.uk'
    Sarah
    February 8, 2018

    Hi Mel – SO good to have you back looking so vibrant, beautiful, excited and rested – missed you!

    Book sounds amazing – good for you and great work – what a brilliant way to continue to expand your much needed and valued support across a wider and wider community. Your message, clarity and insights are so inspiring and I have felt both loved and supported through my ongoing healing process after Narcissistic abuse because of your work and also just through your being who you are and how you so willingly, warmly and openly share your message of healing and thriving.

    A huge and heart felt Thank You – keep doing what you do, it’s SPOT ON 😘

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2018

      Hi Sarah,

      aww thank you for your gorgeous message – it is so appreciated sweetheart.

      Big hugs and love to you

      Mel xo

  • sheopi@yahoo.co.uk'
    Sophie Jacobson
    February 8, 2018

    Hi Mel

    Great to have you back on Thriver TV – I’ve been missing your input. The last few days I was wondering when you’ll be back, then here you are, looking radiant and clear from your time to recharge! I am so hoping I will get some time to recharge and recover this year after too long struggling. Lets hope 2018 is a turning point, it feels more optimistic so far…
    From the episodes you plan, I’d love to know more about creating a new life and moving forward once you have got clear on NC and making inroads on your more draining and N relationships with family and friends but now you want to make a better life for yourself.
    For those of us who have never known a life without N relationships and abuse of some kind or other or had only glimpses or flashes of a better life – it takes a lot more shifting and growing to open up to that new life once the initial acute trauma and fears have gone. It’s like to keep going once there is no threat as such and its really about oneself and learning to really hone the self care and self love when there is nothing pushing you or making you sit up and take notice. It’s easy to fall in to a lull or flat place which feels a bit empty, you want to fulfill your purpose and dreams yet it’s like its hard to focus and point on your own vision. I think it’s a lot to do with trusting people once again (but deciphering the right people to trust) and boundaries which can feel overwhelming and confusing and having drive for oneself and not just drive to care for others!
    Looking forward to sharing your healing for 2018 and your book!
    Much love
    Sophie X

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2018

      Hi Sophie,

      thank you, it is wonderful to be back 🙂

      I love your suggestions they are wonderful, clear and SO apt!

      Thank you for articulating them so beautifully and I look forward to meeting you at these places and answering these conundrums for you this year – and much more!

      Mel xo

  • smeyer@mailbox.org'
    Susanne
    February 8, 2018

    Hi Mel,

    congratulations to your book! I can’t wait to have it in my hands!

    When I first heard about you and your work I searched everywhere if there is a book from you available. And now there will be a book. That’s great, because at first I had some problems to understand everything. It’s (for me) more difficult to understand when somebody speaks in English as if I could read it. So in my opinion a book will be a great help for all the people who do not speak English so good. And if it will be translated in German I can give it to my friend who doesn’t speak English.

    Many thanks for your work, that helped me so much and greetings from Germany (where it is really cold at the moment)!
    Susanne

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2018

      Hi Susanne,

      thank you so much 🙂

      I agree that the book will help many people who may struggle with English – or just my accent! And the other languages translation will be soooo good!

      You are so welcome Susanne, bless you and stay warm!

      Mel xo

  • janie_escobar@sbcglobal.net'
    Janie
    February 8, 2018

    I commented on FB, but, I wanted to congratulate you here, as well. You’ve helped so many people including me. So excited about your book!! Again, congratulations, Melanie!!! God bless you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2018

      Hi Janie,

      thank you that is so sweet of you!

      Many blessings and much love to you too.

      Mel xo

  • susanmwyer@gmail.com'
    sue wyer
    February 8, 2018

    hey melionie thank you so much ..so good to have you back ..ive started hypnotherapy with someone who knows you ..she is in franks tons derdri rolf its been awesome it has short circuited my ptsd ..she said to say hi to you …. I’m so looking forward to this year ..so much healing has occurred thanks to you

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2018

      Hi Sue,

      you are very welcome. Much love to Deidre!!!

      That’s great that you are looking forward to this year! Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • ayameyana@gmail.com'
    Esther
    February 8, 2018

    Hi Melanie,

    It’s so nice to see you back on Thriver TV, I missed you!
    Congratulations with the wonderful news of your book coming out! I can’t wait for healing to spread around the globe 🙂
    I also feel 2018 will bring many things to all of us. I will pray for healing of the earth and everything that lives on it.

    I haven’t done healingsessions for over a month, but I’m glad some things have sunken in.
    The things that especially keep resonating in me is your TV show on self-partnering and setting boundaries.
    Just a week ago, only on small scale, I have already achieved something big by setting a boundary with a friendly acquaintance.
    On the side(?), I have contact again with what I believe is a N and my ex. Instead of bashing myself and starting to panick,
    I try to view it as something I haven’t learnt yet. Step by step I will get there 🙂

    I love this thrivers community, I sometimes forget we are all together healing and going beyond into unimaginable wonderful things ^_^

    Love,

    Esther

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2018

      Hi Esther,

      I missed you all too!

      Thank you so much for your beautiful support. How wonderful you are applying consciousness and growing sooo much!

      We are blessed and claiming the True Lives that are our Destiny Esther.

      Many continued blessings to you Lovely Lady.

      Mel xo

  • Lisaphish@aol.com'
    Lisa
    February 8, 2018

    Hi Melanie,

    Congratulations on the book, such great news! I am so excited for you! I hope to see you in the US someday!

    The NARP program has helped me create space for some much-needed insights and to work for positive change in my life. I am in a better place than when I started last year. Thank you for everything!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2018

      Hi Lisa,

      thank you!! I’d love to catch up with you too – I will be there for your next Summer 🙂

      That is great NARP has helped so much and you are doing well 🙂

      Much love and blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  • martinSpring201@gmail.com'
    Martin
    February 8, 2018

    Hey Gorgeous! I am too happy to see you so relaxed, you deserve many more vacations like that!

    With all my love,
    a friend

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2018

      Hi Martin,

      thank you so much – yes now back to some intense work – the break was great!

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • karenhellekristensen@gmail.com'
    Scandinavian Thriver
    February 8, 2018

    So great Melanie, finally a book that I can recommend to everybody around me, because people simply dont get it, they just dont know what narcissistic abuse is. So please translate it to danish. In Denmark the only words used are psycopath or violent abuse. Both words have a “smell” of something really noticable, like something crazy scary out of a movie or something from the worst neighbourhoods. People only know narcissism as a term used for the young man Narcissus in the old greek myth, who loved himself in the mirror of the lake (which is not saying anything about how narcissists are really mirroring you and hate themselves deep down). So in reality, if you try to explain what happened to you while and after living and having children with a narcissist, people simply dont understand a word. Maybe because of Donald Trump people are starting to understand the term ouvert narcissist. But for all of us who have shared our lives (well not really shared anything anyway it turned out) with a covert malignant narcissist, there is absolutely no understanding from the people around us. Except for a few new best friends who have been through exactly the same as yourself with their ex-men.
    – The funny thing is, that this 3 ex-men, all covert narcissists, are so close in appearance (they dont know each other, only us 3 women know each other) they simply look almost excactly the same. They are very tall and skinny, its impossible to tell their age, to young to look like a real man, even at 50, but sort of gray and like they are made of dust, but also able to look like they are intensely interesting, how you would imagine a lonely Sartre or an artist with deep thoughts, but the problem is offcause, that there is nothing in their hearts or minds. I read somewhere “they keep the water muddy, and give you the impression that a deep sea lies beneath, but really it is a shallow puddle”. So true, so true. Its like their age is shifting. Just after our break up his smear campaign gave him more attention and empathy than ever before, and he looked 20 years younger, but now his supply-hunger cannot be satisfied and he is old and gray of deep anger again. This could be a funny issue to adress, what does a covert narcissist look like?

    Another topic, much more important and close to my heart, but much more difficult, is this: I´m trying to heal and move forward, I´m really trying hard to put on my own oxygen-mask first, so that my kids will follow, but my teenage son aged 13, is so broken from his fathers abuse but will not recieve any help from doctors or therapists or grandparents, and not seeing friends. He is just convinced that his life is damaged forever, so whats the point? Lots of selfhate, putting himself down, anxiety, cptsd, school drop-out – like he is pushing himself down finishing the job his father worked on for so many years: destoying this beautiful clever lovable popular, funny boy, that he initially was. It breaks my heart. It forces me to stay home instead of planning events and travelling with him, since my son just dont want to be alone (still only a child at 13) and just wont tune in with me in going happily out in the world. So I´m so stuck.
    Next topic, very related: he is starting to put on his fathers bad behavior and abuse. Violence only on a few occacions, but trying to control my and his littlebrothers mood downwards is going on all the time. I state with words that its absolutely not allowed in our house and its so wrong, that the very reason he told me to throw his dad out of the house, should not inspire him to become the same type of creator of negative emotions in others. But my words dont help. He doesnt see his father much, but its like he is under some kind of spell and manipulation to create selfdamage in order for me to hurt and stay stuck. When his dad was living in the house, he did the beating up and the threats and the demeaning to my son, but with dad no longer living here, my son is doing it to himself. Its so devastating and meaningless. Can you perhaps dwell on this sad topic in an episode – and whats the solution? I´m doing everything to move my sons and myself into a beautiful future including acceptance of the damage in the here and now offcause, its not a Disney-movie I know that, but by some sort of remote control from his father and some inner wounds in himself, my son seems to be installed in our house to prevent happiness and thriving. Im not blaming him, he is just a child and a victim. But I would so love to see him thrive and choosing me as a compagnion in going out in the world having fun, because I really need to show him all the good things in life, I want to take him to beautiful old cities and out into nature, all the things that I always loved before. So Melanie, you were so “lucky” (please understand my empathy for your life at that moment) that your son was 19 and could be kicked out of the house to make him understand, that you would no longer tolerate his behavior, which healed your son. But what to do with teens as young as mine? I give him unconditional love, but he breaks my boundaries.
    Just some wishes for upcoming topics in your thriver-episodes……Thank you for being such a wonderfull inspiration

  • anapvela@yahoo.com'
    Ane
    February 10, 2018

    I’m so excited about this Mel! I will be the first one in line purchasing your book! I really can’t wait! 😉

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 10, 2018

      Hi Ane,

      thank you for your lovely support and I am so pleased you are excited for it!

      Mel xo

  • kasharabeauty@gmail.com'
    Shu shu Sahr Katsuyoshi
    February 10, 2018

    Congratulations!!!! I am glad that you now have a larger platform to share this amazing tool to help everyone to heal ourselves of so much pain, misery and anger and how to let in the light and love and let that be our authentic self. Thank you and blessings !!!!

  • kasharabeauty@gmail.com'
    Shu shu Sahrah Katsuyoshi
    February 10, 2018

    Congratulations!!!! I am glad that you now have a larger platform to share this amazing tool to help everyone to heal ourselves of so much pain, misery and anger and how to let in the light and love and let that be our authentic self. Thank you and blessings !!!!

  • annieharden@optusnet.com.au'
    Annie
    February 10, 2018

    Dear Mel,
    So good to have you back from a rejuvenating and yet productive break – you are so right about having holidays and taking time out whilst on this journey (and for everyone).

    I am excited to know there is a book coming – I will definitely be buying it and spreading the word. I love your energy and generosity of spirit which is often lacking out there in the world.

    I wanted to share that the 2018 “year of change” has already started for me. I finally left a toxic work environment yesterday – the “narcissist” in my life was the company I worked for (talk about amplified behaviours). Took me a little while to get my “escape plan” in place but it has finally happened. Anyway, I couldn’t have done it without the NARP community, your wonderful support Mel and working the modules even though often I felt depleted and exhausted after a busy work week. This is such a big move for me because in the past I would stay in these toxic environments for fear of things not going well or no job etc etc. So releasing my fears has made such a difference for me – still lot’s to go though.

    I feel like it is the “first day of the rest of my life” now -exhausted but happy. I have 2 weeks before starting my new job and I plan to rejuvenate in the garden, heal and work the modules as much as I can.

    Thank you for your work and to everyone in the NARP community. And for anyone who is feeling the same as me – please just trust and keep up-levelling your fear and pain and things will change for you -whatever you are going through.
    Much love
    Annie

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 10, 2018

      Hi Annie,

      thank you and I am thrilled to be back!

      And please know how appreciative I am for your support 🙂

      How wonderful Annie that you have created such incredible shifts within and without – the proof so is when we start to be the master of our Lives!

      I agree sometimes it DOES seem exhausting to work on ourselves – but the effort (regardless) is SO necessary and pays off in huge ways!

      And you have expressed exactly what these BIG shifts are about – we enter trajectories within our Inner Identity which we simply did not have access to as a result of doing the work – so BIG congratulations to you for self-generating those breakthroughs as a result of working with NARP.

      Thank you so much for your love, support and encouragement for others – we ARE so in this together.

      Many continued blessings and love 🙂

      Mel xo

  • mallen22@hotmail.com'
    Megan
    February 10, 2018

    I am sure I will be giving your book to people and reading it myself. I would love to get food tips that help adrenal glands – but only fun ones. Is there a banana split, a cookie, or some other desert that you could recommend?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 11, 2018

      Hi Megan,

      that’s great you will pass my book on.

      Hahaha – I’m not a sweet tooth though so I may have to research a bit to come up with that format!

      LOVE your suggestion though – fun is good!

      Mel xo

  • brewer.asha67@gmail.com'
    Asha
    February 10, 2018

    Hey Melanie!

    Congrats on the book! I’m excited that it’s own it’s way!
    Welcome back too….you were missed!

    There are no words that adequately express my feelings of gratitude for all that you’ve shared. Last year was so fabulous and I’m excited about this year. I’ve completed NARP and have all the modules for the Empowered Self Course. Will be starting that soon. I’m also dating at 51 and two years ago, I was so miserable and felt so damaged that I just couldn’t see myself ever turning that around and trusting myself to choose someone decent…. until I started watching your videos! I’m an incredibly optimistic person so when I loose hope it’s about as bad as it can get. I’ve always loved my life outside of dating, but now for the first time, I see a bright future and possibly even marriage one day! So thank you for all that you do!

    You asked if there was a topic that we would like for you to talk about in an upcoming video……Yes!

    One of the symptoms I’ve noticed in myself (that I’ve mostly worked out) and in those who’ve been narc abused is the guilt that comes along with self care. Having a narc father, I learned very early in life that my feelings and needs didn’t matter and that if I wasn’t giving him the 24/7 attention that he craved, I would be punished in some cruel way. So later in life as a young adult, all of those spiritual teachings that focused solely on being positive, turned out to make my inner wounds worse because I still had no outlet for the completely normal reaction to the mental and emotional abuse I experienced. I learned that I wasn’t actually dealing with my pain in a positive way, but actually being dismissive. As children we skipped the valuable and necessary expression of tears, anger, and frustration because this too would cause the narc to be punishing. Fortunately, I did have a really loving mother, who supported and encouraged in every way, but that still didn’t save me from all the guilt and shame that would be triggered every time I wanted to simply do something for myself. In order to avoid triggering guilt, shame and fear of punishment, I literally had to take a job as an adult that required self care in order to perform the duties properly. After some years at this particular job, self care started to feel normal and at some point the self care wasn’t just so that I could be fully present for my clients, but because I loved this body and wanted to give myself what I needed regardless of whether or not I had a job that required I take good care of myself. It’s nice to finally be in this reality.

    However, still for most in our thriver community, it is very difficult to release emotions that you were not allowed to fully feel (and then express) in the first place and then on top of that deal with the guilt and shame of having those emotions once they do come up. That’s the part of the mind that is still the age of the trauma. So while it may appear on the surface that you are speaking to adults about self care, in actuality, for some, it is the fearful child part that is hearing those words and enormous amounts of fear is being unconsciously triggered. This is what I’ve found, and healed in myself. So I allowed myself to have the emotional experience that I was denied as a child.

    Please do a video about this very complex dilemma that narc abused children, who are now adults, face and how the silence turns into repressed adult emotions needing healthy expression and the ways in which to be okay with the emotions we were taught to not be okay with.

    Thanks and love you much!
    Asha

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 11, 2018

      Hi Asha,

      Thank you, I am so happy to be back and thank you for being supportive of my book 🙂

      Awww Asha I am thrilled you have been able to heal so much, and I love serving you! That is so great that after NARP you are taking yourself to the next level of expansion with ES!

      Yay for empowered dating it really is so much fun, and such an incredible growth opportunity! There is love for you Asha, looking for you – just as much as you are magnetising him!

      Look out for a special event I am sharing soon with the amazing Katherine Woodward-Thomas – it is all about calling True Love forth! Keep on doing what you are doing lovely lady!

      I love your topic about the guilt of self-care – BRILLIANT topic! I hear all that you say, and I would love to directly address that in an upcoming video Asha. I will be pushing the team to get it across the line!

      Many blessings to you ad so much love right back at you.

      Mel xo

  • webdoar@gmail.com'
    Yaakov
    February 12, 2018

    BS”D
    Congratulations Mel. I’m happy for you about the book.
    Also lucky kid that you could take time out. Being as I have a 17 year old boy to care for, plus still dealing with some of the surreptitious insidious machinations of my NARC STB-Ex, “time out” is not possible for me.
    sigh

    best blessings

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 12, 2018

      Hi Yaakov,

      thank you for your support – yes I am very blessed and I wish you some well deserved “you” time soon.

      Mel xo

  • valerieAwedel@gmail.com'
    Valerie
    February 12, 2018

    Hi Mel,

    Congratulations on your book contract! Fabulous news!

    2018 is off off a great start. Am happy to be alive 🙂

    Peace and love to you –
    Valerie

    ps – if you want stories from people, is there a format? You are welcome to use the radio script from a couple years ago if it helps other families. Still loving module 11, it’s my go-to module, when needed, these days. 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 14, 2018

      Hi Valerie,

      thank you so much!! I am SO happy at you are Thriving.

      And thank you for your lovely offer, I will review that script – always happy to add in Thriver Stories and I will see if we can use it!!

      And I’ll let you know if I do 🙂

      So much peace and love to you too!

      Mel xo

  • michelecipressi@gmail.com'
    Michele Cipressi Dean
    February 17, 2018

    I am thrilled that you are writing a book.
    I sat on my couch July, 2015, and prayed fervently for an answer and it was hours after this that I discovered your work.
    Life changing….I signed up for your free videos and then paid for your course, never regretted it; I got so much out of the
    free videos I was happy to pay for the course whether I would use it or not.

    Brilliant…thanks….

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 17, 2018

      Hi Michele,

      Awww thankyou that is so sweet to have your support and I am so pleased I have been able to help.

      So many continued blessings to you and you are so welcome 😘

      Mel xo

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