Melanie Tonia Evans

How The Phenomenon Of Narcissistic Abuse Occurs And How You Can Overcome It Part 1

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 1
105
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

I’m very excited!

The video series I have been working on in the background for the last few months called “How the Phenomenon of Narcissistic Abuse Occurs and How You Can Overcome It” is complete, and today part one is released.

By the end of this series you will understand what has occurred to you energetically as a result of narcissistic abuse,  and how you can use this knowledge to start recovering faster than you could have ever imagined.

Part one of this series lays the foundation to understand:

  • How and why we become addicted to the pain and abuse from the narcissist.
  • How we feel that talking about our pain helps, yet it actually makes our recovery process take longer.
  • How we can cement our deterioration at a physiological, psychological and emotional level, and not even realise this is taking place.

 

 

What Did You Think?

This is my first video production on melanietoniaevans.com, and as such I would really appreciate your feedback.

Did you get benefit out of this show?

Was there any parts that could have been explained better?

If you liked this show I would love you to go on Youtube and “like” the video and send it to your friends or family. This will help to spread this important message.

My goal is to share with the world these important truths about narcissistic abuse, so please know any little bit of support for this mission helps, and I am eternally grateful!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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105 Thoughts on How The Phenomenon Of Narcissistic Abuse Occurs And How You Can Overcome It Part 1
  • dustipreston1@gmail.com'
    D
    August 10, 2012

    So very interesting & helpful..trying to breakoff my relationship w/a horrible narcissist 🙁

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi D,

      thank you for your post, and I so hope these videos can absolutely help you break away and stay away!

      Hugs…

      Mel xo

      • doreencutajar@live.com'
        Doreen
        November 12, 2012

        hi! before coming across your site and newsletter i had never heard someone who had been abused like me before. in fact i used to not even be sure if it was abuse or not, even because my boyfriend used to negate the abuse. he used to brush off my feelings and accuse me of imagining and inventing everything. i am trying extremely hard to get away from him but i am addicted to him. i keep “missing what we once had” and even though i know i shouldnt go back to him, i feel my life is empty without him. can you help??

      • s.s.phillips@outlook.com'
        survivor
        February 10, 2013

        THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU LITERALLY AM SAVING MY LIFE! I am so happy that I found out this info, and found your site.

    • vblowthorp@yahoo.com'
      Veda
      August 13, 2012

      I was married to one of them for 34 years…over it. Ended up with a highly masked new verison new model…..ended it quick….yuk.
      Now I am working on myself hard to locate the patterns I have and break this cycle. I am not going here anymore!
      I haven’t gone to YouTube yet,…instead I linked you on Facebook feed. I have friends on there who have run into these black-eyed demons from the pit, and who will benefit from your writings and videos. Thanks

    • bigdaddymatty3@yahoo.com'
      Matt Carroll
      August 17, 2012

      Melanie,
      Your video is well done and to the point. I was married to a narcissist for 14 years. we have 3 children and I endured so much abuse and lost everything financially. I have rebuilt my esteem and while working 2 jobs, have stayed in my children’s lives. The art of no contact mostly works, however she continually takes me back to court and is tormenting me with the court system. What is the best way to handle this kind of abuse?
      Matt

    • b9d9ec42@opayq.com'
      J
      September 17, 2013

      Unbelievable how I watched this after typing 4 pages of how my mother treated me over the last year and how destructive it has been. I keep reliving her attempts at making me look bad so that she can become the victim just so that I can convince myself that I’m not the perpetrator. Incredibly draining. But since I’ve gone No Contact, it’s been extremely difficult knowing she has turned my father and siblings away from me. Hope to find more here…. need to escape the negative thinking.

  • thrakctured@aol.com'
    Mark Hackett
    August 10, 2012

    Bravo! This is exactly what folks need in order to fully understand what their bodies and minds are going through. Excellent Melanie! Look forward to the next one

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Mark,

      thank you for your lovely comment.

      Yes I am very excited about bringing the ‘inner’ education through to the public – it gets even more interesting in Video 2!

      Mel xo

  • Brendahartley@yahoo.com'
    Brenda
    August 10, 2012

    Thank you so much for the gift of love and enlightenment which you share freely to heal so many broken spirits. I am so grateful for your video which totally sheds light on what I may be experiencing. It also made me finally grasp an understanding of addictions in general. Thank you for sharing your light with the world.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Brenda,

      thank you so much for you post, and you are so welcome. I so hope these videos will assist you and many others greatly.

      I totally relate to the ‘relief’ of understanding addictions, as I am (like so many others) totally naturally emotionally charged and addiction prone!

      Mel xo

  • kimdozier@rocketmail.com'
    kimi
    August 10, 2012

    im looking foward to the formula of relief

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Kimi,

      I promise you it is coming.

      In the meantime really try to change the ‘yuk’ thoughts to looping statements such as ‘Kimi you’re doing a great job I’m proud of you’, and refuse to feed the peptide addiction.

      You will notice an enormous difference if you do this.

      Mel xo

  • richelle.a.page@gmail.com'
    R
    August 10, 2012

    Wow! This was great to listen to, thank you Melanie. I look forward to the next one too. You have researched this well and it all makes perfect sense!

    Best wishes from NZ!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi R,

      Best wishes to you too!

      I hope it’s not too cold and wet in NZ, it is certainly very cold in Melbourne at the moment.

      I am so glad it made sense and you are looking forward to the next videos!

      Mel xo

  • arkgriffin@bigpond.com'
    Ark Griffin
    August 10, 2012

    Melanie, of course I got benefit from your comments about narcissism and the peptide chain of events that is established in victims.
    I would like to see you on the video. You are the brand. It is a shared brand with the evil narcissists. It would be good if there were other speakers on the video. Perhaps an evil narcissist as well. Your video is long and I had to read it as well as listen to it. But if I read it, I didn’t need to listen to it. As we can read faster than you can speak, I was always ahead of you. To be instructive, you have to keep ahead of your class. If you have words in a video, have few words. Not all the words. And have video, not a slideshow.
    You have a powerful message to tell. This first effort was not a display of your power and your passion. Your video should be like you were in front of a live audience, not just your script.
    So, in summary, come out from behind that typical self-effacing audience screen and be seen. You look great, your voice is good, your message is a passionate one, and it needs to be heard.
    Now that you have gotten past the first effort, get over your stage fright and get right into it.
    By the way, thanks for all your work on this. It has helped me a lot.
    Ark

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Ark,

      thank you for your post and comments.

      After this video series, the rest following are absolutely with me in front of the camera! I promise you I am not shy!

      This video my team and I wanted to have it as vital information and hence why the text and words to really bring the messages across.

      In many ways this is going to be the most vital foundational information video of MTE, and then there will be ‘me’ speaking on many different topics!

      Later in video three there are testimonial speakers…but no narcs!

      I am so glad my work has helped you and keep up the great work!

      Mel xo

      • sonickel77@y7mail.com'
        Kathleen
        August 18, 2012

        I really like the words and the sounds together. I’m a visual learner, and sometimes just listening to the podcasts doesn’t get the message across strongly enough for me.

  • jnthlake@aol.com'
    Leila
    August 10, 2012

    OMG..Melanie…this is so good. After leaving him over 30 days ago, with lots of meditation, space, reading your posts, and being in nature and putting up boundaries of not talking to him or about him to anyone friends, family, etc unless it was short and to the point…I’m not in any kind of pain anymore. I feel amazed in how good life feels again, and how much joy is back in my life. The times I failed and went back to him were those times I went over and over the arguements, fights, and the good times we had..this brought me to my knees in physical and emotional pain and of course the only way I could relieve the pain was talking to him and going back into the “honeymoon” stage which never lasted. It did me no good to rehash craziness or try to figure him or it out. I had to completely remove myself from him, his life, and to be honest let go of any anger and resentment I had towards him, because IT WAS MY CHOICE to go into the relationship, stay in it, and put up with the abuse. And now without blaming myself or him, I have the proof that it is also my choice to live in FREEDOM, JOY, WONDER, LOVE, and LIFE. Thank you Melanie for being the hand that pulled me from the darkness and thank you TEE BEE for your beautiful blessing for my life. I send all of my sisters out there COURAGE, FAITH, and a great sense of adventure to find yourself, protect yourself, and honor the woman that was created from love. Your creator loves you and wants you to live in Peace, beauty, and happiness. I send all of you love, light, and blessings on your journey.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Leila,

      Thank you for your lovely post, and I am pleased you enjoyed the video.

      I am so glad you are shifting out of pain and reclaiming you! This is so wonderful!

      Fabulous you have also been able to move into taking responsibility and reaching acceptance – because that is such a POWERFUL way to re-wire brain neurons and create a much more powerful ‘path’ of thought.

      True Self is the only real pathway and it dissolves all else.

      Keep being the inspiration and bright beacon that you are 🙂

      Mel xo

  • arkgriffin@bigpond.com'
    Ark Griffin
    August 10, 2012

    Just a correction of my text “self-effacing audience screen” should read “self-effacing Aussie screen”. Damned auto-spell doodad.
    Ark

  • cherrycola39@gmail.com'
    Melissa
    August 10, 2012

    Melanie,
    Thank you so much for your continued diligence and vast information sources on the subject. This video was very informative and helpful to understand the physical/physiological aspects of narcissistic abuse. Also, I think you did a wonderful job of explaining why it is crucial to healing that one does not continue to re- live the pain and traumatic experiences suffered as a result of being involved with a person with NPD. Thank you so much for this video,and all you other work. You are an Angel, who I am grateful for.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Melissa,

      You are very welcome, and I am so happy that you are gaining the ‘knowing’ of what is really taking place….

      Aww how gorgeous – you are an angel too! Here is to spreading our wings 🙂

      Mel xo

  • jacsplat@msn.com'
    Jac
    August 10, 2012

    Thanks Melanie, this first video was informative and explained clearly and well. Even though I have moved forward a little more from my horrific experience, understanding the addictions in my body are still keeping me thinking about ‘him’ at times, going over what he did to me and how I allowed it to happen, Plus my pain from suffering at the hands of ‘crazy, abusive step fathers, being bullied at school, and so on, this video has reinforced for me what I must do to be free of the inner pain and anxieties I still suffer from. I have had a small ‘shift’ from a Quanta Freedom session listened to a while ago on love talk radio (just used my name instead of the lady you were talking to through the session) and it did ‘shift’ some pain. Look forward to the next session. Big streeeetchy ((((hug)))) to you. X

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    August 10, 2012

    Hi Jac,

    you are totally welcome.

    I am so pleased you are starting to realise what is happening as per the peptide addiction – because truly it is our mission to break it!

    Here is a QF show that will be easier for you to use – and you are SO on the right track by rewiring yourself energetically.

    Do this show and you will get even more relief.

    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empowered-love/2012/04/24/manifesting-love-and-life-goals-dreams-and-your-identity

    You will like the 2nd video – it is really interesting stuff coming up…

    Big warm hug back 🙂

    Mel xo

  • aloneill@ymail.com'
    Al O'Neill
    August 10, 2012

    Mel

    I want to quote a Leonard Cohen song “The sisters of Mercy, they are not departed or gone” and by God YOU ARE one of those such beautifull sisters. A beacon of fresh light streaming into my room. THANK YOU.

    Thank you Girl

    Al

  • penowheel@hotmail.com'
    Penelope
    August 10, 2012

    I have been going through this and experiencing this for many years. My life feels destroyed, form the inside out. I too, form the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep try to “figure it out” / heal etc..but cannot. Before this nightmare of experiencing this kind of abuse, I was always able to clear myself of things that bothered me. Been 3 yrs since I left but with no safe place to go either. Thought Id be ok / heal etc. once I got away, nope. Plus, always praying my partner would apologize. Now, he is ill and I feel like it is my fault somehow. He blamed me for everything, including his abuse…for 4 years we had a very good relationship, I never could’ have imagined what happened to us. I think if I had not had those 4 solidly good year with him, I’d be a lot more able to let go.

    Everything you say is true, 1000%. From opening up old wounds (I worked years to heal before I met him..) to the flooding of victimisation peptides during the horrendous verbal/mental/emotional attacks I went through daily at the hands of the person I trusted the Most. I also feel guilty for trying to “fight back” or when I did get mad and upset back and then was told that that was the reason for all of it. Been a nightmare. Yes, i still care for this person, and even believe that my leaving contributed to him getting ill because tho he became abusive to me, I was the only person in his life whom tried to help him not be that way. Anyway, probably said too much. I’ve not been on those forums but maybe I should. So sad that any of this happens, so sad. I feel bad for my ex too, I know he hurt himself too by being this way. All of his friends and family tho enabled and supported him, no one questioned the lies he was obviously telling them, and stepped in to help, even tho they knew me for Years and I was never anything but who I used to be…very kind, gentle, calm person. I find that also tragic. As with the right guidance, maybe he would have stopped. Looking forward to seeing the next videos…
    peace.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 10, 2012

      Hi Penelope,

      your situation is extreme, very painful and difficult – but please rest assured many people (myself included) went through so many of the beliefs that we were responsible, that we were THE PERSON who could heal and help them.

      Please rest assured that these beliefs are also unhealed wounds, unfinished business and peptide addiction that are not our True Self function.

      I sincerely hope that watching the rest of the videos will provide your release and relief, and that you will get aligned with (as I have and many others have) the knowing that your greatest responsibility is to create your own healthy vibration and that you are NOT responsible for another adult who refuses to take responsibility for his or her self.

      Mel xo

  • lilltorill.andersen@gmail.com'
    No more self denial
    August 10, 2012

    The knowledge and insight in this video is priceless, and I am so glad that you shre it and that I found you, because it makes such a difference in my life.

    I have one feedback though- the first part of the video is emotionally triggering because of the many negative affirmations. My addiction was triggered to the degree I lost concentration on the video and had to take a break and deal with it until I could continue the video. It seems the rest of the video is “safe” for me, but the first part I will not listen to again. Again; this feedback is just to share my experience; I know that it is me that is responsible for my own emotions and all that I am, and I share it because you asked for feedback Melanie.

    Thank you so much for what you are doing- your NARP program have brought me so far on my healing path from a lifetime of being under abuse and control, and subscribing to your blog gives me regular inspiration, reminding and incredible support; It was just what I needed to start to REALLY let go of the past. Now I have stopped talking about the negative past, and I do not feel like it either- that is thanks to the info you share and the Quanta Healing sessions. And I am so well now that when I become triggered emotionally and explore flashbacks and pain I stop up and deal with it, or throw myself at a Quanta healing session. You have guided and helped me to turn my life situation totally around, and I always thank you, Melanie. All the best to you! 🙂

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    August 10, 2012

    Hi N.M.S.D,

    thank you for your post…whoa great observation of the triggers….and of course it wasn’t an observation because it was a there ‘in your face’…the emotional charge.

    I remember when that was also the same for me, when I started recovering that I couldn’t initially go back to those thoughts…

    It is so great you are working the Program, healing and recovering and I am so pleased QF Healing is providing the powerful shifts for you…(as it does).

    Okay so these triggers are showing you ‘something’ to heal. This is my suggestion – be with yourself (lovingly and supportively with journal) – open up to the memory of the trigger and feel it unconditionally without fear – and then drop into it and ask it what it is about – write, and keep digging and asking yourself questions.

    Then you can go to MP3 1 in the Program and release and transform it, or use the link to the Q F healing on air Program and use that format…then you will be able to release ‘that’ and being a BIG trigger it is ready to be identified and released and then truly you are going to go up to a whole new and higher level.

    Triggers are fabulous when you do have the release and transform methods because once you find them and release them, you break off even more junk to become an even cleaner and more solid True Self…feel into this and get excited…because it will be great!

    You will know when you have done it, because when you listen to those phrases again there will be no trigger – just a memory of a memory – ‘That was me once but I can’t connect to the feeling of it”….

    Mel xo

    • lilltorill.andersen@gmail.com'
      No more self denial
      August 11, 2012

      Thanks so much, Melanie! When you explain, I feel some new dots start to connect. I will do what you suggest here. 🙂

      • lilltorill.andersen@gmail.com'
        No more self denial
        August 15, 2012

        Yup- reached a new level of clarity and it opened to much new insight. And I can watch the whole video without being triggered. Thanks a lot Melanie! 🙂

  • rosalieerickson2@gmail.com'
    rosalie
    August 10, 2012

    Thanks Mel,
    This is a great video. Lots of good info. I have been doing much better. Still doing your NARP. The quanta healing sessions help tremendously. Through releasing the pain of the past, Im finally becoming able to move forward, and change my vibrational aura. I still have a ways to go, My relationship had great financial cost.I left with nothing at all. At times i t is still hard, but day by day I am becoming more open to accepting the gift. For me, the first moments upon waking can be very challenging.I’m wondering if they are for anybody else. Before my thoughts become clear, and I am able to positively reenforce myself emotionally, I’m still feel pretty terrified. If am not careful to remember to think positive thoughts and take care of myself, I can easily slip back into my obsessive thoughts and victimization.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Rosalie,

      thank you for your post, and I am so glad you are ‘shifting’ with the use of the MP3 healings in the Narc Abuse Recovery Program.

      I SO relate to the morning thing – it used to be horrific for me too (it is for a lot of people).

      Truly Rosalie you can shift the morning anxiety. Use number 1 of the MP3s and focus on the charge of the morning anxiety – and you will be able to shift it, just as you can for any ‘negative’ emotion.

      You will experience such a greater freedom, relief and energy when you do (as you can imagine).

      Use it for the financial fears as well – you can use that first healing for any multipurpose.

      Do this, and please let me know how you go..

      Please know you do not have to sit in resistance, fear and pain – you do have the tool to shift it!

      Mel xo

  • jacsplat@msn.com'
    Jac
    August 10, 2012

    Good point Mel about the triggers 🙂 I have found many triggers, still do today, as my trauma was so bad that my heart races (adrenalin rush) when I feel trapped. It could just be a simple trigger by a question someone asks or a comment. When I think back to when I was a baby (when it started for me), this is where the triggers are coming from, my memories with feelings of what happened to me and I automatically react. Self preservation is what I always called it. QF link will be great thanks Mel and I am on a mission to conquer my lifetime of abuse. It really is the only answer. Much Love to you Mel and support to everyone trying to work it out. Look forward to Video 2. X Jac from Tassie.

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    August 10, 2012

    Hey Jac,

    here is the link:

    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empowered-love/2012/04/24/manifesting-love-and-life-goals-dreams-and-your-identity

    Sweetie you will conquer that mission absolutely – just dig and release anything that comes up for you and you will naturally become more and more ‘True Self’ – truly it is that simple – it’s just we try to battle it all out the normal ‘human way’.

    Please let me know how you go with the healing!

    Bless!

    Mel xo

    • jacsplat@msn.com'
      Jac
      August 10, 2012

      Thanks Mel, got the link twice ☺ I will get comfortable and relax soon and listen to it before sleep (best time for QF, I have found), as on wakening in the morning, the ‘shift’ is more noticable. Maybe it is because of the ‘shift’ then rest afterwards and wakening to a new feeling that a transformation has taken place. When able to I will purchase the NARP. Can’t wait! X

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        August 11, 2012

        Hi Jac,

        You are so welcome!

        Make sure you get your paper and pen too and dig! You will get really good results if you do.

        That’s awesome that you are going to do the NARP Program, because you will discover some really powerful and targeted shifts releasing the hooks that connect you vibrationally to the narc…

        Yay – it’s all good!

        Mel xo

  • jacsplat@msn.com'
    Jac
    August 10, 2012

    To Rosalie above…I find mornings difficult at times but I have found a way to break the ‘morning triggers’ that can cause anxiety and that feeling of unease and that is, being concious of just living in the moment, however difficult and feeling the uncomfortable feeling, then QF or a visual to release it. Also knowing you are free to feel how you need to without fear of an attack by someone. I used to wake up with my heart pounding every morning, wondering how was I going to survive another day not long after I left my ex N, but moreso when I was with him-fear keeping me trapped inside my head and body, wondering if I would survive, as I felt so close to death. Each day is new and all yours to enjoy. Also a hot cup of T☕ is a real comfort to me too and I am happily addicted to T ☺ xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Ladies,

      in regard to the ‘morning thing’ that also was the most crippling time for me.

      It wasn’t until I target that charge ‘anxiety and dread in the morning’ with Q F Healing (after going so long with struggling with it) that I found incredible information that was so far back on my time line, that I would never had known it was there…(It was stuff I did not even consciously realise).

      When I released that the shift was astounding – ever since doing so my mornings have always been ‘clear’ and ‘normal’.

      It was a huge relief.

      The moral to this story is: there is no negative charge that you can’t target and release and transform – its just a matter of feeling it, using the process, and then going back in and digging – feel the next charge keep releasing and so on and so forth – until it is clear!

      I highly suggest working at the morning stuff, because it is SO hard to try to get yourself functioning when you wake up in a state…that used to kick me really hard!

      Mel xo

  • sowestgirl72@bellsouth.net'
    Shar
    August 11, 2012

    This is wonderful information! I have been in the “Talking about it stage” for a long while. I thought that was the way to get it out and over, but you are right it isn’t working. The physical connection really needs to be addressed more to the general public, just like any other addiction. My mother was a Narcissist so I am more susceptible to the attraction, I didn’t even see it coming. Look forward to next video.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Shar,

      thank you for your post.

      Oh yes – so many people think by talking about it we will get better – I was TOTALLY one of these people until I discovered what was really going on!

      I am so glad you can understand this clearly now..

      I know you will get great benefits from the next two videos!

      Mel xo

  • info@saffronridge.com'
    Karen
    August 11, 2012

    I am separated and still living with my narcissist (he says he wont leave until the house is sold and we have children)I’ve been doing so well with “no contact” and last night I totally fell for his tricks and took the bait and got into such a horrible argument with him that today I’m so distraught and disappointed at myself for going down to his level when I’ve been doing so well.
    I see a therapist once a week and thought this was helping but after seeing your video maybe I should cut back as I do go over and over every week why I feel so dysfunctional and emotionally paralyzed every day.
    I read or listen to you every day to help me get through no-one would ever understand the craziness unless they’d been there.
    I am so grateful to you Melanie you have no idea.
    I can’t wait for your next video you are really helping us get through our lives in one piece.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Karen,

      Totally, this is the problem with contemporary therapy that I really don’t agree with…hence why so many people get stuck in therapy for years with very little progress or transformation taking place.

      This is why I stay away from contemporary therapy (I had many years of unsuccessful results) and MUCH prefer working on ourself with self-development (great empowerment material) and accessing good energy healers who CAN shift pain, trauma and old unhealthy patterns at the deeper body and cellular level.

      THEN progress and shifts DO happen!

      Karen, I am so pleased I can help and allow you to understand the truth so that you truly can break free and heal.

      Bless and hugs

      Mel xo

  • bizygirl1@yahoo.com'
    Debby
    August 11, 2012

    Hi Melanie,

    Your website has been a real lifesaver for me as I left a narcissist 6 months ago today. It’s been 5 months ago today since No Contact. I remember feeling like I was going to die and all my pain was inside, invisible and untreatable as well as completely not understood by those close to me. Well thankfully, I was wrong. I do however experience nightmares, insecurity and all kinds of other thoughts and feelings if I talk about “him” or the trauma. It only re-opens the wound just as having contact again would. During this time I have done some deep soul searching, I’ve been attending emotional intelligence workshops, I’ve been faithfully reading your blog, and Ive been taking the suggestions offered to me along the way. Last night I graduated from my 6 month “Empowering Health” class, where we worked on emotional intelligence, Divine Design and taking responsibility of our own lives. and the synergy created when the body, mind and spirit are all working in accordance with each other in the “Thriving” (not Surviving) existance.
    I can’t thank you enough for the healing your blog and website has brought to me. We all have to do the work ourselves but we can get lost in the muck of the pain and reality of the abuse to the point where we can’t see our way out. Thank you for being a beacon of light to help me get through. I still have lots to do but once again I’m believing in me and I know I can do this. I know that because of past experiences with narcissitic men (my father, brothers, first husband of 15 years) that although I got on with life, I was still unhealed from previous abuse. I thought if things were the opposite of what they had been before, then I’d be okay. But that’s not the case. In fact, that’s a sign of continuing to live in the past and letting the past control the present and future. Ive been learing so much and I’m so grateful to you for sharing with the world your own experience and what you’ve done to overcome it.
    Sincerely,

    Debby R.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Debby,

      You are SO very welcome!

      I love your focus and the things you have been doing in order to get well – you are TOTALLY on the right track!

      In regard to the trauma and charges you are still feeling, this is because your brain-wiring is still connected to these issues, and deeper unhealed programs (PTSD).

      Truly Debbie I would love you to try the free Q F Healing – (I posted the link to Jac above)…because if you really work with the process and follow the instructions you will find an incredible ‘shift’ occur…and truly as the shift occurs it is powerfully, and quickly re-wires your neuro-net….You will understand when you do this what this feels like….

      I do not in any shape or form endorse that PTSD (trauma) needs to stay stuck in the body or cellular self. When we shift it – it just doesn’t exist!

      Please do the session and get back to me, because it will take your healing journey to a whole new level – one that you could not even previously believed could exist – truly!

      Mel xo

  • sujonez@hotmail.com'
    carolyn
    August 11, 2012

    Dear Melanie- thankyou so much for this. It is wonderful to hear your voice! I agree with the poster above who says how good it would be to se you too- so I am looking forward to that! Everything you say makes such perfect sense and I could not get through this without you…you are an amazing person Melanie.. I send you warm hugs. I am so grateful I found you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Carolyn,

      thank you for your post!

      Upon discussion with my son (production) last night we have agreed that I will be appearing on the third video to bring in the healing solutions and share my personal story with them…so that will be fun!

      Thank you for being part of the inspiration to do that!

      I am so pleased the information in the video resonates strongly with you.

      Warm hugs back at you!

      Mel xo

  • pollydoge@yahoo.de'
    Jane
    August 11, 2012

    I thought the video was GREAT, and I`m going straight to YouTube to “like it”.
    I`ll also post the link to “my” narcissistic abuse forum, which is one of the good ones.
    Can`t wait for the next video.
    You`re doing great work.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Jane,

      thank you for your lovely and supportive post, and for sharing the message…

      More people do need to know the truth in order to be able to recover – absolutely!

      Mel xo

  • tonyknott@mac.com'
    Tony
    August 11, 2012

    Hi Melanie,

    Thank you for a very informative and enlightening video. It’s so helpful to understand what’s happening on an energetic level; the “addiction” via the peptides is fascinating and I can understand how it hooks us. Also, beginning to understand how the continuous thoughts feed the feelings is a great start to hopefully moving past them. You’ve provided great, useful information that is so important and vital to people to get their lives back on track. I am very thankful to have watched this and look forward to the rest.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Tony,

      You are very welcome!

      I agree that when you realise what’s going on with the peptide manufacturing plant that it truly does make you pull up and think about how damaging it is to keep indulging in the painful thoughts.

      Thank you for your wonderful and supportive comments, and I am so pleased the videos will help bring you clarity and answers.

      Mel xo

  • georginacornago@yahoo.com'
    georgina
    August 11, 2012

    Thank you for this information. Love to hear how this actually affects us in physical terms. Looking forward to all future information wiith you. I just found you and I am so happy since I have been trying to figure out for so long (20 years in an abusive narc marriage) what is going on, is it me? Do I need to be a better wife? Why doesn’t he change? So many questions finally came to light when I found out what a narcissist is. Now I am getting out finally and “boy, it ain’t easy!” So again so glad I came upon your pages and look forward to all your insight and help. Thank you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Georgina,

      You are very welcome in regard to receiving the info!

      I am so glad you are finding support, answers and strength.

      There are many resources and incredible people in this wonderful community to assist.

      Mel xo

  • jeanjohnson2911@gmail.com'
    Jean
    August 11, 2012

    Thank you Melanie…this is awesome! Love hearing your voice comforting and direct all at the same time.Can’t wait to see the other videos. I have been divorced for 11 years, but have a 14 year old daughter with ex-narc husband. My daughter is traumatized by her dad too, even though she does not spend too much time with him. I am ready to clear the past and start living!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Jean,

      You are very welcome!

      I am so pleased that you are ready to clear the past and empower yourself – that is brilliant!

      And please know when you ‘shift up and out’ our daughter will also move up into that vibration with you and heal – truly.

      Have you been able to listen to this radio show yet?

      http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empowered-love/2012/08/07/q-a–how-do-we-heal-our-children

      If not – it will help your situation with your concern for your daughter.

      Hope it helps!

      Mel xo

      • jeanjohnson2911@gmail.com'
        Jean
        August 12, 2012

        Hi Mel…I just listened to this, and have to say OMG! EVERYONE who has a child with a narcissist should listen to this. This would be a great ebook too!

        When my daughter was little, there was hardly any contact from her dad – he only saw her a few times a month. But as she has gotten older and divorced from second wife, especially 11, 12, 13 teen years things have gotten so mucked up – a VERY UGLY 3 way triangle, Courts, Legal, Police…a horrible mess and at times I have been so angry and especially hurt by my daughter! My ex attacking me through my daughter, even though he really does not want anything to do with her, my daughter getting her dad to attack me when she does not like my rules because he actually does pay attention to her when she is mad at me.

        By fighting my ex back through all this has literally destroyed the past few years. It has actually been worse than when we were married and it was just him abusing me. Bringing my daughter into the picture – has felt devastating. I have even told her that if she needs to be more like her Dad than me, that she can’t live with me – even though I do not ever want her out of my life!

        But I now see MY PART! And I am going to change my reactions, and vibration around all of this!! I get it…it feels so right and so much easier. Emotional Clarity and Maturity…ahhh. Thank You so much 🙂

        Also, loved hearing about your son…

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          August 13, 2012

          Hi Jean,

          I’m so glad the radio show helped! This show will actually be a blog article soon so that people can reference it.

          That is so wonderful that you now know how to adjust yourself vibrationally in order to create the best results for you and your daughter.

          You are very welcome, and I love talking about my son – because the journey with him has been so special

          Mel xo

  • gc1990@hushmail.com'
    Kacie
    August 11, 2012

    I can understand your message here and am looking forward to more info to correct this negative addiction. I have cried, hurt and felt so much pain, but I have to say….I feel I am becoming more like him and that scares me. When he verbally abuses me, I no longer cry or react in front of him. If he gets physical, I take as much as I can, but eventually I fight back. I am becoming negative, adopting his bad habits (drinking more, smoking, dr.prescribed rx’s, etc) and when I met him I was a happy and healthy person. Is this normal …to become “emotionally hard” like the narc? I don’t verbally abuse him and still try to avoid situations, but I feel numb when he abuses now rather than emotional, and I really don’t know if that is good or bad.

    Your video is very informative though at times it was a bit much to take in and stay focused. I think it is very beneficial for those who are actively looking for help. If it’s about marketing and promoting as a sales video…this isn’t it. However, if it’s a video for people who are ready for change and simply a way to get the information out then it’s effective…they will watch it and eagerly await the next one…like I am.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Kacie,

      thank you for your post.

      Yes, correct this particular video is educational – hence it’s format.

      Yes it is usual to take on characteristics that we really don’t like about ourself when with narcissists.

      Truly, if we were sent to a war-zone would we act like an angel?

      There will come a time when to recover fully you will need to get out – hopefully you can build up the strength to do so – and then commit powerfully to your inner healing.

      I hope my information can help you achieve that.

      Mel xo

  • k.juggins28@yahoo.co.uk'
    kellym
    August 11, 2012

    The information was impressive & well explainned, thank you. i look forward to the next video.
    I must add- I totally understood the video easily because- it has been nearly four months now with NO contact- at first i would talk an talk an talk about the same pain, hurt, what had happened- the more i did the worse an more charged up i felt, in the morning i would feel better untill i met with my friend an began talking about it again. last month i broke contact with my friend as i became aware of the patterns….. it has been a month- and i can honestly say i feel miles better- i actually dont want to keep talking about what had happened because it was more damaging to me.
    so basically i totally get it- its a real true account of what happens to us- yet we still put ourselves through the process.
    could that change? regardless of the amount of information we are given? sometimes we need to sit with the feelings an go with it- i think its easier for me because it has been 4 months an i have lots of support- but for peoples in a new break up- this may be difficult to comprehend or even being emotionally able to/ stable to deal with them. on some level we need reason to move on-
    kel x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 11, 2012

      Hi Kellym,

      thank you for your post..

      Ahhh, in relation to your question ‘Could that change?’, you will have to watch video 3 to understand the answer which is an absolute “Yes!”.

      The short explanation is – when we find another way to communicate with our unconscious (where the pain is held) and realign at that unconscious level with our True Self, then there aren’t the negative emotions remaining to process, manage or sit with…we have shifted on an inner level on that particular ‘wound.

      ‘Information’, although helpful – no matter how much of it we absorb – does not communicate with our unconscious directly – whereas other processes do.

      I hope that makes sense, and by continuing to watch the videos it will become more clear to you ‘why’ and ‘how’ this happens.

      Mel xo

  • lmaynard8@bigpond.com'
    Dawn
    August 12, 2012

    Mel,

    Congratulations on another medium for your clear voice to be heard. Thank you for the information on peptides; it explains my health and wellbeing; and for the so obvious yet conspicuous explantation of my energy being an emotion. For me this feels like the combination to that ‘true self’ in hiding (self protection and eternal state of numbness) that I need to unlock and set free.

    If this is an objective your work in the video then i ‘got it’, if not, thats what i got from it.

    I think presentation is suberb, words are needed to read, make notes. Your voice is calm and yet has your signature Mel accent on reaching into my trust zone with no barrier. Maybe, a recap dot point page at the end with the main points might be good go over the highlights as you do with your writings? and mas already there, and i need to watch it again when my slow internet resets in a few days time…

    I make no demands or expectations on ‘seeing’ anything different, as what you share with us freely is lifes gift and blessing of true love.

    Bring it on Mel, the more you heal the world becomes a much better place for those that choose that path.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 13, 2012

      Hi Dawn,

      thank you for your post.

      Thank you for your lovely feedback, and yes is absolutely worth considering.

      Keep up the great work of becoming more empowered

      Mel xo

  • jacsplat@msn.com'
    Jac
    August 12, 2012

    An interesting point in the video is where ‘the older people get, the more negative they become’…This is so true as, for eg: my mother has been thru a lifetime of abuse and has just let ‘time heal’ believing that is the only solution. She is in her late 60’s and has so many ‘limited beliefs’ that I don’t understand. She smokes, regardless of warnings from doctors, I got very sick with a chronic infection in my sinus from the second had exposure to the smoke and tried to talk to her about it, but it was no use, she was not interested in listening. I can see she is lost inside herself, and I have stepped out of her space now, letting her live how she chooses. Resistance to change seems a big issue for a lot of people I know and the resources are there, but they are just not interested in any help. I was told I was becoming selfish as I have stepped back from being an empath and not focusing on everyone else for a change. Phew! It is hard when people closest to us are just not understanding anything of what we are feeling, even after living with 3 narcs. Everytime mum was abused, I was living thru it too. I am making giant steps, thanks to Mel and love QF! I have learnt to stand back with integrity and let people live their life how they choose and at least I know I won’t be getting older and ‘stuck’ in denial and resistance. Has anyone else found their parent/s very ‘pigheaded’ about things? Why do older people resist so much Mel? Is it their beliefs and programming? It is true, they seem to get worse as aging creeps in. Thanks for your time again Mel in giving us some relief and healing. LJx

    • raksd28@gmail.com'
      Raquel
      August 13, 2012

      Hi Jac yes my mother sounds very similar to yours, I remember telling her a few months ago that she reminds me of my ex always searching and I couldnt be around her. Like you I have stepped back because its way to soul destroying and I absolutely refuse to be in another relationship like that whether its with family or another man. Stay strong Raquel 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 13, 2012

      Hi Jac,

      yes it is very true that if the negative peptide vicious cycle is not addressed that many people do grow more depressed as time goes on.

      It is also very true that we can’t help others if they are not ready to help themself, and if they continue to project and can’t get our energy anymore then we do need to distance until they are ready to take responsibility – and they may never, but of course that is their journey.

      One thing is for certain is that if we no longer continue to enable them they are more likely to start taking responsibility.

      Yes, Jac I do believe that the older generation can be ‘stuck in their ways’, and they may not be open to the personal development and growth that we are. And that’s okay – that is just ‘their way’.

      You do have influence in ‘your experience of your Mum though’. If you ‘see’ and ‘feel’ her as evolving and getting well – and vibrate at this energy you may very well call her up into that energetic reality in your experience of her.

      Mel xo

      • jacsplat@msn.com'
        Jac
        August 14, 2012

        Thanks Mel 🙂 I adore my mother and stepping out of her zone re her issues has helped me focus on me for a change. Like yourself, I have always tried to help others, being an over functioning ’empath’. Interestingly when doing too much for people, I have been taken for granted, & advantage of often. It is rare for someone to offer me help (probably as I have never asked-very independent). Saying no now is easier & I do so in a kind way, without having to explain myself. Mum will never change sadly as she said herself, ‘I have lived and experienced more (being older & wiser) is her belief (total resistence). She sadly had a massive breakdown years ago which I witnessed and we nearly lost her. Her nervous system is not good and denies being anything but well, lying to everyone who asks-‘how are you?’. Mum will always put others first, leaving herself broken & damaged. There is nothing I can ever do now. My time for me to get better and be empowered. We see so much more when receiving the ‘gift’ & how disfunctional others are & I know we can’t save the world. I am greatful to have the gift so I can live my life truthfully. (((hug))) LJX

  • trinar30@hotmail.com'
    Trina
    August 13, 2012

    Dear Mel
    You are such a wonderful person for doing all this & sharing so much of your time & self to others.
    I am, as we speak in what I believe to be a narccissistic relationship & although I understand & believe everything your saying, can’t get past the fact that I love him & think or wonder that if with some form of help we could be better. I am just so sad & unhappy & your right, can’t see the light at the end & although he does admit to having issues & being the problem, I can’t help but think that it will never change, he has admitted to being a liar & a cheat but like u say, it’s so hard wired into him can he or will be ever change? There is soooooo much I would like to say to you & wish u were sitting beside me & I could give u a hug.
    I’m just so very tired of crying & feeling unhappy & nervous, scared, paranoid, the list goes on & I feel lost & it is affecting my whole life, my mind is very cloudy & scattered, I have no energy & generally just want to curl up under a rock somewhere.
    I truly do appreciate your wisdom & am desperately trying to let it sink in & start to work, what holds me back I think is my love for him & the belief that deep down be loves me & it will get better.
    Thank you for being the wonderful person you are & keep up the good work!

    Gratefully Yours
    Trina xoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 13, 2012

      Hi Trina,

      thank you for your lovely compliment! I wish I could give you a hug too – it sounds like you really do need one.

      You poor thing, yes it is awful when you still feel ‘in love’ I also suffered for that for quite some time before I really dedicated to my healing.

      Truly that is going to be your only way out of the pain and helplessness, and so you can honour you and set some real boundaries.

      Then he will either step up and into that space with you, or you will be empowered enough to move on.

      Please read this article as to understand where you will need to go with the boundaries, and what will be necessary for him to be a healthy partner for you: https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-he-or-she-really-a-narcissist-laying-boundaries-and-accountability/

      If you don’t lay boundaries you are only enabling the bad behaviour with NO hope of him changing and no way of honouring yourself.

      Are you able to do something to heal such as access the NARP Program and start working on yourself when he is not around?

      Truly you may need help and some ‘shifts’ within your own beliefs to get strong enough to do what you need to do.

      Mel xo

  • starr_spencer@platts.com'
    twink99
    August 13, 2012

    Melanie, your information on the emotional devastation and what’s at the root of it is the best around! However, I was left thinking that a video probably was not the most effective medium for this information. Unless you have something to demonstrate visually, or an interview with another person, that cannot be expressed in a blog (writing), why create a video? I would have much preferred a blog format for delivery of this content.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 13, 2012

      Hi twink99,

      Thank you for your lovely compliment…

      The reason I have done these three videos is that this information is ‘foundational’ to narc abuse, and as the videos progress you will see more and more information that comes out re the ‘problem’ and the ‘solution’….and truly we felt at MTE that it was vital to showcase this information via video – which would stand it out from all the other information that is offered.

      Interviews are coming up in the 3rd video…

      I hope you enjoy the upcoming videos!

      Mel xo

  • raksd28@gmail.com'
    Raquel
    August 13, 2012

    Hi Melanie
    I wrote to you a few months ago over the relationship and abusive narcisstic relationship i was in. I broke it off and after a year and going through the crying, anger and contiuously asking why, how could he etc, feel very strong now. I read all your newsletters that come through regularly which has started my healing, now i dont care anymore and am not remotely bothered about his comments This video is brilliant and I look forward to video 2. I am very grateful that I was given your link to narcisstic abuse / relationships, its been 100% of my road to healing Thank you! 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 13, 2012

      Hi Raquel,

      I am so pleased you have left the relationship, have been able to detach and you are healing…

      That is wonderful that my information has been able to help you, and I am glad you enjoyed the video.

      Thank you so much for helping to spread the word!

      Mel xo

  • glengordon@harboursat.com.au'
    Mary
    August 13, 2012

    Hi Melanie, Thank you for being there for all of us lost souls you are such an inspirational selfless person. I feel so good about the relief I get from your information it makes me feel good in myself as I find I am helping other women sending your info on. there are many women that I know myself that are or have been in a N relationship (almost epidemic!) I feel this info needs to be more publicised so we can help the ones that are alone. (maybe it is out there & I haven’t noticed, as I have been under a rock for a long time) Good for you Melanie! God Bless You

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    August 13, 2012

    Hi Mary,

    You are so welcome, and I am honoured to be able to help.

    Oh yes narc abuse totally is an epidemic!

    Great that you are doing you bit to create greater awareness too…:)

    Mel xo

  • Runatatur@yahoo.com'
    Neve
    August 15, 2012

    Hello Melanie, you are the best person who knows exactly how it feels like. I must say that when I left him I was still attached to him even if I knew he was a very evilicious person. And it affected me for almost two years.I never went to see a therapist myself, and it was a nightmare being burdened with that, psychologically I was still hooked and poisoned.But since a while, things have improved. It was recently my birthday and my wish was to help me become happy and to believe in me again. Because I never stopped feeling lowered since I went through narcissism, and for a while I don’t know how and when but miraculously I don’t know if it’s me or if there is really a God listening, but I don’t need the Narc anymore. I just don’t feel hooked to him anymore,I’m not even attracted to him now because I realised what type of false beliefs I was entrapped in and was believing about myself because of his lies.Suddenly after so long I stopped caring about him and he doesn’t matter to me anymore, I am starting to feel whole, I am feeling self love which I lost. My self esteem and self appreciation is coming back to me. Certain things still hurt a bit but it is not like before, I have gained confidence and strength in me which makes me not need and care about him anymore. I don’t feel like a victim and I am not hooked to him psychologically now and this is amazing.And it is such a feeling of relief because all the nastiness that he did before towards me don’t have the slightest importance to my eyes now. Everyday in my life I never stopped thinking about his deeds and I was starting to lose myself and forget the person that I was. Now I am finding myself back again. I am feeling new like I have never known him, it is fabulous. I never thought I would ever say that someday. I must say that I have always said to myself when I was going through the pain that I would never let anyone or any person like him destroy me, and my biggest strength was in my mind no matter what type of pain I was dealing with because of narcissism, and it really worked.I believe in karma because right now it is the best gift that life is giving me, thanks a lot to you too Melanie.

    • jacsplat@msn.com'
      Jac
      August 15, 2012

      Hi Neve, hope you don’t mind me answering as I have been having the same experience where I don’t feel the dreaded sadness or pine, think about or even can be bothered answering his emails and texts now. It has been 8 months for me and I do know part of why I don’t have the addiction to him anymore is because of Quanta Freedom. I have done 1 session through ‘talk back radio’ but was advised to do one through a link Melanie posted for me above. After I had the ‘shift’ I honestly didn’t have the ‘triggers’ that caused me to feel the deep sadness. Time does heal to a point, but without the shifts, it never goes away. I found this out not long ago. Isn’t is funny how we think we still ‘love them’ but in fact ‘don’t even really like them’ I couldn’t think of much I liked about him, so realised I was in love with what was ‘the fantasy’. The love for me died well before the 4 year period was up. Hope you get some answers too and QF is incredible for really shifting the gunk out of our souls. xx

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        August 16, 2012

        Hi Jac,

        I’m so glad you received another powerful Q F Healing ‘shift’.

        It is lovely to be able to be a part of your growth!:)

        Mel xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 16, 2012

      Hi Neve,

      It is great you accept this because truly it does put you in the driver’s seat of creating the love and the life you DO want to create!

      Neve you will create what you want – truly!

      And when you do embrace and start working on your unhealed parts and nurture them (rather than avoiding them, judging them or thinking it’s hard) you will find incredible relief and freedom which happens extremely quickly…

      because the ‘inner us’ has always been craving our support and attention and heaves a sigh of relief as soon as it receives it

      Mel xo

  • ballan@wix.com.au'
    Margie
    August 15, 2012

    To beautiful Melanie, you are truely a gifted healer. Your passion and dedication will save so many souls/lives. I know because your wisdom you so generously share has saved my life. This video is yet another fantastic tool for NARC abuse recovery. I sought help through physcologists for 10 years, trying to understand what was happening in my life and why, with very little result. I am thrilled to say that my “peptide addiction” has turned from being a “full on victim” and feeling suicidal into an extremely healthy addiction of “healing my broken parts” and feeling better than I have ever have before. Everything in my life is changing by healing my broken parts and changing my focus. To anybody reading this who hasnt been able to make the shift out of that terrible place, follow Melanies teachings, listen to her fantastic podcasts, do the Quanta Healing, it will set you free. Love You Melanie you are a GIFT from God xoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 16, 2012

      Hi Margie,

      it is so lovely to hear from you.

      I remember our personal healing sessions some months ago and have wondered how you are doing!

      I know how much you wanted to heal, how dedicated to heal you were with your few sessions with me, and how much you wanted to carry on your own personal development…so I am thrilled for your results.

      You totally deserve this darling lady!

      Big Yay for You! 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Runatatur@yahoo.com'
    Neve
    August 16, 2012

    Melanie you are right. Even if we feel we are breaking through, however there are still some parts in us that we need to heal, and sometimes it is the most difficult thing to do. I know that the Narc reflects all our deepest fears. I definitely want to find a way to work on those parts so that I can grow personally and have a fulfilling relationship instead of attracting abuse again. Thank you for your advices. Much love.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 16, 2012

      Hi Neve,

      It is great you accept this because truly it does put you in the driver’s seat of creating the love and the life you DO want to create!

      Neve you will create what you want – truly!

      And when you do embrace and start working on your unhealed parts and nurture them (rather than avoiding them, judging them or thinking it’s hard) you will find incredible relief and freedom which happens extremely quickly…

      because the ‘inner us’ has always been craving our support and attention and heaves a sigh of releif as soon as it receives it 🙂

      Mel xo

  • msmwhere@gmail.com'
    Maria W
    August 16, 2012

    WoW Mel Awesome Video – applause!!!!

    And fantastic feedback from everyone on here.
    I feel so proud of you and your work as I know how much you have helped me out of the black hole.

    I’m excited to see the other videos as they are released.
    Again congratulations.
    Love Always a Huge supporter of your Healings & Love
    Xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 21, 2012

      Hi Maria,

      thank you so much for your lovely comments darling.

      Lots of love to you too, and it has been an absolute joy to b a part of the way you have grown….so much….xx

      Mel xo

  • lfaires1@gmail.com'
    Lisa Faires
    August 19, 2012

    Thank you, This is VERY helpful to me. I am suffering exactly as described here and learning a reason for it is so helpful. I look forward to the next videos. I cannot seem to find where to subscribe here. Can someone hekp with that?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 21, 2012

      Hi Lisa,

      I am so glad this has helped!

      I hope you found the subscribe link okay!

      Mel xo

  • alicejsmith100@hotmail.com'
    Ellis
    August 20, 2012

    Dear Lisa, In response to your query, if you click on the website home link at the top, then at the top right by the facebook and you tube links there is a sign up button.

    I found the video interesting, I certainly found out things I would like to understand better. Having tried therapy and various things I also came to the conclusion that I was becoming stuck in a rut of negative thinking. Is there any way to access the information about remedying this, and how to get out of a narcissistic cycle… without waiting weeks for the videos? I don’t have the money to go buying books etc but feel I am wasting my life stuck in a big rut and going round in circles. Any suggestions appreciated, cheers

    • jacsplat@msn.com'
      Jac
      August 21, 2012

      Hi Ellis,
      Hope you are going ok 🙂
      Best thing I found and am stil finding is QF Healing. I do my sessions thru a link Mel sent me ‘see above’ ‘Manifesting love-identity link’ and really write down what you are feeling, digging deep. It will help you break the pattern of ‘going around in circles’ and I was overthinking scenarios in my head, when I started to outwardly change my patterns when the negative energy was released. A small ‘shift’ is a relief and you will notice a difference. The recovery programme is a must have and will help you much more quickly. An investment that is life changing. The programme is priceless, and your freedom to find your true self is the greatest reward. I did a QF session last night to help with a horrible phobia I have of spiders and after seeing the first ‘hunstman’ for spring, I was strangely calmer, going right up to it (even tho it was on outside of window) I managed to put my hand over it! It took the fear away. Not cured yet tho, but i didn’t freak out with anxiety like I normally would. The same goes for ‘narcs’ the ‘addiction’ to the fear of them too seems to become less and less and I can now say ‘he is not my reality now, I am free’ without any feeling attached to it. I suggest giving it a go and a one on one with Mel or the recovery programme is the way to go. Yo will get through it and I have only done 2 small QF sessions but ‘shifts’ are happening already. Waste no more precious time ☺x

  • jacsplat@msn.com'
    Jac
    August 21, 2012

    To Ellis again, try a QF first using the link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empowered-love/2012/04/24/manifesting-love-and-life-goals-dreams-and-your-identity
    It is great to start to do something until you can access the recovery programme. I used to write in a notebook everything he said and did right after an abusive attack and wrote my feelings down (how I felt, reacted etc.) in a different colour to stand out, so I could find them later on. It saves me time now when I want to find a ‘trigger’ or a feeling to then release it thru QF. ‘one small shift is one giant leap for all of us’ 🙂

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    August 21, 2012

    Hi Ellis,

    Truly Jac’s suggestion is the most powerful one I could grant you for where you are at.

    That radio show is a powerful solution to what you are going through…

    Please come back on and share how it went for you.

    Mel xo

  • Acmcdougall@hotmail.com'
    Amy
    August 22, 2012

    Hi Melanie,
    My name is Amy and I’m 25 years old. I grew up with a narcissistic father who was covert in his traits. He is unlike what you describe on your website as a typical narcissist because of his ability to hide his nastiness and being able to play people against each other without him being directly involved. Your website seems to focus on partners as narcissists, not parents. Is there anywhere that you can advise to assist myself in dealing with this type of narcissist.

    Thank you, Amy McDougall

    • Melanie
      August 22, 2012

      Hi Amy,

      thank you for your post and question. My resources apply to all aspects of recovery from narc abuse including parents.

      The dynamic is the same. Many people who have done the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program have also been doing so to recover from narcissistic parents or siblings, not just partners.

      I hope this helps!

      Mel xo

  • Loweabby90@yahoo.com'
    Josie
    August 30, 2012

    I got discarded…. I was a victim of Narc abuse but I also got discarded and he left me for another woman and I cannot shake the feeling is she getting treated better?? Why did he leave me? I just cannot shake it! I know he was a selfish person and I should be happy he is no longer in my life but I just cannot shake it she is getting treated better but there is a twist! He left me in Feb and in March he e-mails me telling me about a song he heard and thought about me which I thought was weird so I replied and said thank you and he asks me how I am doing etc,etc and I later found out that is a hoover!!!!! I block his e-mail and stay No contact!!!! April rolls around he sends me a text on I ignore him No contact!!!!!! May comes he sends me a text once again No contact!!!!! June rolls around texts me no contact…… July texts no contact I block him finally because at this point it’s getting irritating! August he twitter messages me ( not his follower) he says why are you ignoring me?? I miss you! Irony is his profile photo has him and his girlfriend the one he left me for!!!! I ignored him and deleted my twitter account.

    Sorry for being so talkative but the obsession on why he left me and is she being treated better is still coming up and why is he still bothering me???

  • Flamingorocky@aol.com'
    Jean
    September 2, 2012

    I love reading what I have found from you. I am just starting to watch the videos. Very interesting I do believe you need to just stop having to talk about him. Thinking of all the things I went through are hard on me. I live with it for 25 years. I am trying to get through all of this. I have been away from him for 9 years. I am 56 and hope I can start to enjoy my life for once

  • nikkigillett@hotmail.co.uk'
    niks
    September 11, 2012

    Hi

    This is a wonderful video. I have been in two relationships one after the other. One was a sadistic distempered, very mentally abusive person with either NPD or Psychopathy.

    The second was textbook sociopath. This is an excellent video. Thank you for your energy taken to create it. I have sent it to forums where there are people recovering this abuse.

    • jacsplat@msn.com'
      Jac
      September 23, 2012

      Hi Nicks 🙂
      I was in two abusive relationships one after the other too, and the first for me was a man with ‘OCD/Narcissism/Schitzoid, but was a lamb compared to the one 3 months later. The first one tried everything to get some help including meds, but couldn’t cope. He was honest and upfront about how he felt and we parted mutually, even looking after me financially. (I obviously had very strong co-dependency needs, when I met the second man), who was ‘Narc/Psychopath/Sociopath and had some ‘borderline PD traits’ which is usually diagnosed in women more than men. Saw those traits early on. It seemed he was quite a bagful and his mood swings were very consistent with ‘bipolar’…, on a high for a while, treating me like a goddess to horrific abuse, if something brought him down the next. Great you are spreading the word too and I hope you are recovering ok. 🙂 It is so good to be free from the hell of living with these ‘disordered people’ NEVER AGAIN!

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    September 12, 2012

    Hi Niks,

    so glad you enjoyed the video and I hope you seen number 2 and 3 as well.

    Thank you for spreading the message to assist yourself and others 🙂

    Mel xo

  • californiacat2001@yahoo.com'
    caylin selene crystal
    September 13, 2012

    I have been in recovery from childhood sexual abuse for years now. I had to leave a support group because to me i felt as if most of these people did not want to get better. I DID and I DO! I have spoken to people who have been in therapy for up to 10+ yrs and still dead and broken! This i knew was not “GETTING BETTER”. I have known for some time that therapy will bring all the garbage to the surface but it did not heal a person. I am an energy healer and i know about energy and it’s effect’s for quite sometime. I knew that in order to heal the energetic system, well left over negative energy had to be removed and replaced by possitive energy. Now with the explanation of the peptides i can have a mental picture in my mind as to what is happening in my body and my mind. The only way to heal from any trauma is on an energetic level, period. Very few want to beleive this however, i would not be alive today had i not started to release these negative thoughts (which are energy in motion)You are one of the only people that use energy methods to heal from trauma, there are more but they often take it to a very different place, which scares alot of people, when in truth it can be given to us through an easily understood method. Looking forward to your next video. Thank you. Love and light to you and everyone else who wants to feel alive again, or maybe for the first time. Blessings, Caylin

  • denisegbrl@yahoo.com'
    Denise
    June 23, 2013

    your video explained to me exactly what is wrong with me. I have been NC for a year,I don’t talk about it to anyone because I feel like I’m the crazy one ,but its always on my mind.At first when I found out what he was and it wasn’t me etc… I was excited to know and thought id just get over it after reading everything I could find out about it. I have all the symptoms you described . my dr told me I have ptss,anxiety,& even agorophobia . I feel hopeless unhappy & like my life will never be worth living. but I didn’t know all of it was from my experience with N. before N I did not have low self esteem ,I had lots of friends my kids were grown & I was looking forward to a life of my own free & able to go places & do things that I’ve waited for since I had my first child at 16. since I’ve been away from him so long I didn’t realize that this is why I have nothing to look forward to & don’t even try anymore. I stopped answering my phone period to my kids,friends & everyone I just can’t even stand to make smalltalk or gossip I skip appointments unless I have to go .I don’t want to be like this anymore & now I know why & that it can be helped. because even knowing I still can have the life I always looked forward to I didn’t understand why I didn’t care or try to live it. I’m going to seriously use everything in me to get rid of this addiction and live in the world not locked in my room hating to hear the phone ring or anyone knocking on my door .thank you so much for making me see that my life isn’t over and its not just going to get better with pills or time. I hope I have explained my situation without sounding like I’m on the verge of suicide I as just waiting for natural causes believing I would die a miserable unhappy person. even times that should be happy to me really aren’t I just pretended. I will be grateful for the day I’m not pretending anymore. thanks again .

  • JoyB212@aol.com'
    Joy Berke
    July 20, 2013

    How refreshing and wonderful to hear someone saying what I have been attempting to get across for years. Staying in your story and in your negative feelings just creates more negativity and roots you more firmly in the past where the stories took place. You did a wonderful job explaining the biochemistry. I only touched on this subject in my own book trying to concentrate more on the healing process. Many readers have told me (and written reviews) that I am a ‘pollyanna’ and they can’t understand how I have been able to forgive and even have ‘love’ for my ex without having any contact with him. The only thing in my book I would rewrite is claiming to want to have a ‘monogamous part-time relationship’ with him. It was written tongue-in-cheek because of its impossibility and I thought people would understand that but I was wrong. I wrote it because he can be so charming, fun and attentive that it would make for a ‘good boyfriend’. Again kudos to you.

  • angelinadorrington@yahoo.com'
    lottery results lotto
    September 28, 2013

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  • burnside323@yahoo.com'
    Mary
    February 13, 2014

    I have been looking for what seems like forever trying to find out how to deal with my ex narcissist. I cannot use the no contact rule because we live in the same building. I was thrilled to finally find this site. I will not give up ever….Everything you said in the beginning of your article was exactly word for word what I have said myself, so you really caught my attention. I can’t even begin to say how greatfull I am that you did not sink so far down that you ended your life…I have been in therapy…and although it helps in some areas of my life it did not help one bit regarding narcissistic partners. You are the first and only person that has offered a way to really free myself from this.. I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for this truly life saving information!!!!!!!!!!!!

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