Thank you for being patient… Finally here is Part 3 of the video series “How The Phenomenon Of Narcissistic Abuse Occurs And How To Overcome It”.
Inside Part Three you will learn the following –
- How to break free from your peptide addiction and start creating a healthy peptide cycle.
- How to access and transform the limiting beliefs your Inner Identity has taken on from past lives, childhood and painful love relationships.
- How to align your inner identity with the life you really want to live.
- About my personal narcissistic abuse experience and how this horrendous time in my life led to the formation of Quanta Freedom – The healing model that was to transform my life and thousands of others.
- How to release a limiting belief that all of mankind suffers from (especially individuals who have suffered narcissistic abuse) with Quanta Freedom.
To learn how you can take your narcissistic abuse recovery further click here
It Was a Huge Challenge But I Made it!
Well here we are, after one of the most challenging yet exciting times of my life…
As with all incredible and big projects things can go wrong. And they did. Two Sundays ago I got out of bed and tried to put my right leg to the ground. It wouldn’t hold my weight and the pain was excruciating.
After seeing an emergency chiropractor I discovered I had slipped a disk in my back.
“Oh no!” I exclaimed “I don’t have time for this!” with a week of production left, as well as many clients and my normal business commitments, how on earth was I going to do all of this when I was supposed to by lying down and resting for days?
So my office became my bed, with two computers, keyboard, speakers and other assorted electronic equipment stacked on it. It was hilarious, I should have taken a photo!
Fortunately within a few days I was able to be on my feet again – gingerly – but it was possible.
People really wanted to see my face during the series, so my son Zac and I decided to create a studio and film me!
It was lots of fun, and something I am looking forward to doing much more of.
Thank you so much for being patient and being a part of this series.
I could not have done it without your support, feedback, and lovely comments.
I will be producing many more videos in the future, now that I have the hang of it! You can sign subscribe to my YouTube channel to get notified about upcoming videos.
Please know this series was my first video production and I certainly did learn a lot. Please let me know in the comments what content you would like to see in future videos and any improvements you would like to see. This will really assist me to continue providing you with the most beneficial content I possibly can.
Thank You – I LOVE you!!!!
Hi Jean,
thank you…
love you too!
Mel xo
Mel, had to have a sneak peak before stopping till later and engaging whole session.
Melanie, you are the most stunningly beautiful woman you could be. I adore your voice and they way you are. thank you
Hi Dawn,
Blush! Thank you for your lovely compliment and your post!
Mel xo
Thankyou so much for sharing your wealth of knowledge. You are an angel in disguise. I can not thank you enough for sharing your experiences and tools to escape this debilitating relationship.Thankyou does not seem enough.
Lots of love and I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Hi Jude,
You are so very welcome. I am glad my information has been able to help you.
I am off the chiropractor again today and I really am 80 percent better already. Thank you for your lovely well wishes.
Mel xo
Thank you for the video – I felt a big swing when the light came in. I am in the middle of a difficult shift now but will sign up for the program soon.
I have been writing a novel on the theme of NPD – how what I have suffered from mother has informed my life for 5 decades and made me repeat the pattern over and over with men. I am terrified that I damaged my son now 21 by not addressing this sooner. I did try but it never stuck – This time it will work as it did for you. Sometimes I feel I am re-traumatizing myself with this novel but it must be done and I hope it will be of help to others who have suffered for love
Thanks for your work here.
Hi Tracy,
you are very welcome, and I am glad you felt the shift back to True Self when the light came in.
It is wonderful that you understand the pattern. Now that you know you are feel big charges around how this has affected your son – it is really important that you work on releasing these, so that you can ‘see’ and ‘feel’ him the way you wish him to be.
The Energetic System of Life is very specific and direct ‘whatever we fear is what we get – and co-create’, and as mothers it is astounding how much we actually can ‘influence’ our children energetically.
Go back through this article https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-help-your-children-wh-are-affected-by-narcissists/ and make it truly your mission to let go of and shift your guilt, pain and fear in regard to your son, and truly you will witness him shift.
This is why it is always so important to work on healing ourself.
We can’t just ‘think’ ourselves out of pain – it’s important to lead by example by working at the deeper levels.
When you ‘shift’, he will ‘shift’.
I hope this helps.
Mel xo
There are no words to truely express what a beautiful gifted healer you are. The passion and dedication and information you so freely share on how to set yourself free from anguish and pain and how to learn to love and value yourself is amazing. No amount of money or external love can replace inner peace and happiness. My life is transforming and now this wonderful video and healing aids me even more. I love you Mel. Your wisdom has saved my life xox
Hi Margie,
Thank you so much for your gorgeous post!
Yes, it is so true that when we do ‘come home to ourself’, and no longer are reliant on the external we find the true peace and love we have always wanted – and THEN we can add to that authentically.
Sadly we were all brought up to believe it was ‘the outside’ that created us and gave us ‘ourself’ – which is crazy when we finally realise we actually have no control over ‘the outside’.
Yet when we do establish fullness, love and emotional mastery on ‘the inside’ we attract, create and sustain more of this authenticity.
Truly, Margie I have seen you do that shift from emptiness and reliance on ‘the crumbs’ (as I did previously too) to establishing your own beautiful fullness, bliss and worth.
It has been so beautiful to be a part of so!
You are very welcome lovely lady.
Mel xo
Wow. This was surprisingly effective. i had not experienced this type of healing technique before. So I did not know what to expect. I felt an enormous shift. Amazing. Thank you!
Hi Beth,
Thank you for your post. I am so glad you felt a shift. You are very welcome!
Mel xo
Melanie,
Thank you for this video!! I now know that I am truly lovable and that the abuse was not my fault. My abusive N father and codependent mother no longer have any control over me. What an incredible feeling that is and for me to know this at the soul level is amazing!! I look forward to continuing the process of healing with your help. I pray for your continued healing and thank you for all you have done to be a beacon of light for the rest of us!! May God Bless you and your family, you are a true blessing!!
Hi Laura,
Thank you for your post, and that is wonderful that you were able to feel the shift from ‘I must be unlovable because I deserved this’, to knowing that their actions were not about you.
Yes, you have pinpointed the difference.
We may have been told that information conceptually, or even thought it a thousand times ‘It was their issues and stuff – it wasn’t my fault or about me’, but until it takes hold at a deeper level we didn’t KNOW it!
When we KNOW it – it just is!
I am so glad you feel that now, and know how you can now work on other beliefs you have been trying to transform.
I’d love to help you achieve that!
Mel xo
Thank you for giving me hope and reminding me that I am not alone.
XO
Wendy
Hi Wendy,
thank you for your post. You are very welcome!
Mel xo
I just cried and cried during the healing session. Now I feel totally drained, but just as lonely and abandoned as before. A feeling of failure just added to this, I could not even do the healing.
But thank you for trying, though. I know you’re intensions are good.
I havent done the healing session yet but I totally understand your lonliness and feelings of abandonment. I am in a bad place myself and it sure helps to know that I am not alone. Looking forward to giving it a try.
Hi Maria,
I am sorry that you had this experience. What I am picking up on, in what you have written, is the feelings of ‘I can’t do’, and ‘I’m a failure’.
Maria these feelings, and beliefs are understandable after what you have been through, and what you have experienced in your life – but they are not really who you are – unless you choose to keep believing them.
As a foundation Maria, you can start checking in on yourself to see how you talk to yourself on a day-to-day basis.
Are you continuing the ‘self-talk’ that other people outside you either believed about themself (such as a parent), or they projected this at you – telling you nothing you did was good enough, or it was wrong?
Try to feel into you and tell the little Maria inside you, that you are here to love her, cuddle her and believe in her, and that you would love her to feel safe.
I hope this helps
Mel xo
Hi Melanie,
thank you for your answer.
Yes, I do talk to myself a lot. It’s like ‘now you were stupid’ or ‘why did i do that??’ and I’m beginning to understand were this comes from in my childhood. Of course this is not what I want to keep believing, and I will work on my little Maria.
Also in the healing session, I had lonliness as an issue that needed to be swirled away in the tornado… This was maybe too simple… I have to go deeper. WHY the feeling of loneliness? This feeling is very deep inside me, although I have my child and a lot of friends in my life.
Last night after watching this video I had a strange dream about violence, shame and a plane-crash! I will spare you the details, but in dreams, my feelings are always ‘me’ like in real life.
Well, I will keep on working with the healing, that’s for sure. I feel it’s like a lifeline thrown out to me in a storm at sea.
Much love from me in a beautiful sunny autumn morning in Scandinavia.
Hi Maria,
you are so welcome and thank you for replying back.
That is so beautiful this is not what you want to continue believing, and that you want to work on the ‘little Maria’, I know she could so use a hug and support from you!
You are totally on the right track. Why the loneliness? What you need to do is feel into it and ask – and be open to the answer. Be somewhere quiet with yourself, and have a pad and paper, and feel into it.
It’s big, and it’s what you need to shift – and you will get your answers. You will also experience huge relief JUST SIMPLY by being present with yourself and your emotions and taking the time to be intimate and attentive with yourself.
Then THAT is what you shift next…truly Maria love and support you – and know the process is all about clearing the stuff that hurts, so that you and your little Maria can come home to each other.
When that happens, the pain, the fear and the loneliness will end, and you will know what that feels like…
If you have suffered abusive relationship(s) truly I can’t recommend the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program enough, because it cleans up the old wounds, the old fears and the old insecurities that we developed in childhood (and way back in our timeline).
The Program allows you to clean this up WITHOUT having to work it out yourself, it is all covered in the Program – all you have to do is follow the instructions.
This is SO much more than just trying to move on from painful relationships – when we do the specific deeper work it breaks us free from all of our old ‘abused ‘ unloved’ ‘lonely’ and ‘empty’ Inner Programs.
I hope this helps! Keep cuddling little Maria and telling her how special she is, how much you are there to love her and heal her (she wants this MORE from you than anyone else – and she KNOWS she can’t get this from anyone else UNTIL she gets this from you), and really commit to healing.
Then you will break free into the True You!!
Mel xo
Oh my God!
I am shifting guilt. I am shifting shame. I am shifting anger.
How do I feel? Right now; happiness, JOY, relief, and all good feelings in the world!
He has no power over me anymore!! Thank you, Melanie.. An angel led me to your web-site. Thank you Jac, for the insight in your intelligent comments, for the compassion and
Hmm, my finger touched the ‘post comment’ button before I was finished..
Bottom line; what an experience, what an insight, It’s beautiful, really it is!
C.G. Jung said: ‘What we do not make concious, emerges later as faith’.
MUCH LOVE, Maria
….That should be ‘fate’… “What we do not make concious, emerges later as fate”. Struggling a bit with foreign language, sorry.
Can i add to my previous comment (seeing as you asked for feedback) that while I felt energised after the session, a few hours later I slipped back to depression about the same unlovable issue rather than peeling back to the next. Is this normal? Does it mean I have to go over the same work again until it takes?
Hi Tracy,
Okay it will be something different. Get out pen and paper and feel into it and if it came up as the same, start doing what is known as ‘digging’. You need to ask yourself some questions.
Often the best question is ‘why’ (in regard to that issue). Keep asking and feeling until you get your answer – it will be there.
There will be something under it that you need to get to in order to shift THAT – and ‘that’ will be what you are still feeling.
Try this process Tracy, and if you’re still not sure, and you feel comfortable with sharing here, please post ‘the issue’ and I can help you dig, by replying, to help you locate what it is that is underneath that is next to shift.
Hope this helps!
Mel xo
Lady of Love and Light, Mel and Family
just wanted to share what has worked for me at this point. i have to keep working hard, challenges face me moment to moment…
i listen to your radio shows – i cross referance your articles, seeking out more hints on what it is i need at that time, and those tears i shed (hey i dont cry, ever, except at funerals), from the radio show free Quanta Freedom Healing late one night in enormous pain were the most healing waters from ages ago…
In my lonely times i seek me out, and challenge me, find my worth, honestly look to you Mel for your guidance here on your site… then i am comforted.
my inner identity and true self function are in third gear today. i am looking for turbo charge…
i look forward to your ongoing work to assist me live a full life. thank you
Hi Dawn,
I am so glad that you are releasing and transforming and so dedicated to working on yourself, and coming home to you.
That is beautiful.
Mel xo
Finally I understood everything I was felt! As you say the true set us free. Now I am free from my narcissistic addiction. Thank you so much!
Hi Alexandra,
Yes, the truth does set us free – every time.
Thank you for posting.
Mel xo
Thank you so much Melanie. This healing is extraordinary. This is the 4th one I have done- having already started the Programme. So much stuff is coming up- feelings I had forgotten, which I can now bring up for release.I was so full of anxiety when I began, I was having awful adrenaline rushes and panicking at the smallest triggers, but that has been replaced by such peace. I feel so much calmer and stronger now… and it´s just getting better all the time!! Melanie- you are wonderful and it is so lovely to not just hear your voice but to see you as well. I really hope your back is feeling better and I wish you a speedy full recovery. All love and blessings be.
Hi Carolyn,
I am so glad you are accessing the Q F Healing and dedicated to doing the shift work! Yes, it is so true that when we do the cellular release work then the panic and dread just ‘goes away’ – and is replaced by solidness and peace.
Thank you for your lovely post and feedback. My back is getting better each day thank you, and I had a wonderful treatment this morning that was very positive
Doing Quanta Freedom Healing on it too – has speeded up my recovery!
Mel xo
QF is wonderous for back issues or any physical issues, as I found out, by learning how the brain connects to the body’s cells.
Carolyn, I understand about the ‘adrenaline rushes’ how awful that feels. Every day the slightest trigger, what someone said, or what was going on around me, a thought etc etc. The heart would start pounding away and my eyes used to build up with pressure…did you feel that too? QF settles down the thoughts, it is magical how it works. I hope you are finding lots of relief and healing. Love to you too and everyone who is experiencing this phenomenal healing programme. Thanks Mel. x
Hi Mel,
That was absolutely sensational! I had forgotton how profound the shifts were. I started crying with joy at the very beginning of the healing and with incredible love and relief at the end! I have known for a while now that I had a blockage holding me back from achieving my next goal today it is well on its way to being removed.
Love ya work!! Thank you!
Hi Abbe,
thank you for your lovely post! I am so pleased you had a powerful shift, and the knowing that you can now flow forward into your next goal.
You deserve it Abbe, you have always been very dedicated, ever since I met you to doing the inner work.
And this is when our life changes beyond description – as your has!
Big Yay!
Mel xo
Hi Mel,
Thank you so much for the gifts you have given so freely.I have so much gratitude for all these great things coming my way and that you make available to so many people.
It truly is helping me to change so much in my life.Not only that, those closest to me are changing with a ripple effect.Its amazing.
Iris x
Hi Iris,
thank you for your lovely post!
Yes, it is so true that when we transform the inner that everything on the outer changes for the better!
I love that we do have this make power to be the creator!
It is no fun trying to change the ‘outer’ without changing the ‘inner’ – it always falls flat and hurts!
Everything in our entire life experience comes from our ‘inner’ – there truly is no other place to do the work!
So glad you are enjoying the results Iris!
Mel xo
Hi lovely Mel,
Well, late last night I was keen to do the QF after seeing your third video, as at the time before the session, I have been overwhelmed with so much pain, and other feelings that I could feel the tension in my body, especially my shoulders. It was before going to sleep, as I find it the best time to do a QF. After the first round (went through it twice) I noticed I felt the tension had gone from my body, then after the second go, I got rid of more stuff, and felt my number drop from 10-7, plus I felt incredibly light. I got up to hop to the loo and felt a little dizzy, like I was floating. None of the mind chattering was there, I had no tension and I felt content. When I woke this morning, for some reason I was feeling irritable and a bit ‘prickly’…is this normal? A bit like a ‘de-tox’ had happened within me. This was my third QF shift and the best yet. I am going to do another tonight as there is one thing I really need to shift, which is for some reason attaching itself to my cells like super glue. Tomorrow I am going to buy the ‘complete recovery programme’ as I really do believe it is working and for anyone who thinks they are not seeing results…believe me it just happens, when a situation comes up, the triggers are not there, but you feel different. It is not obvious at first until you are confronted with a situation, that seems to just dissolve. Melanie, it is truly ‘art’ and you have done a wonderful thing for yourself and all of us. I hope you feel better too and I ’empathise’ with you, having 3 herniated discs, one an old injury and two that happened a year ago. Much love to you. xx Jac, Tassie
Hi Jac,
lovely to hear from you again here!
Yes, totally the best time to do a QF Healing is when we have pain. Pain is optional (it’s a signal to release, heal and transform), and suffering is optional (chronic pain when we don’t transform and do something with the pain)…
Okay the prickly, irritable stuff is more to shift Jac. What happens is you released some limiting beliefs / unhealed parts – which then made way for the next stuff to come up…Always any less-than feeling is resistance, something not aligned with True Self, something that needs to shift…
So this is when we get out pen and journal, and feel into this feeling and ask ourself “What is this about?” and then just keep shifting – and then what happens is you just get lighter and lighter and more free, and then big stuff or irritability just gets less and less frequent…and even becomes a rarity.
Hope this helps!
Mel xo
Yeah, irritable and cranky Jac! I will concentrate on working with the recovery programme which I will be getting later today…can’t wait as I have brought a lot of my issues up and finding more stuff from each shift. I feel incredibly ‘self conscious’ and have had mild ‘agraphobia’ (a shyness) especially around my mother or family?? (they are all good people) for most of my life and I am still trying to find the cause, but digging deep. XO thank you dear Mel. ❤
…in addition to my last post in regard to the ‘disc’ rupture…I went to see my ‘high profile Rheumatologist’ as I have ‘degenerative problems’ in my back and he said something very interesting regarding the brain and body connection to injury. The first disc that herniated for me happened in year 2000 and the last two, happened a year ago, but he said it was the ‘old injury’ (first one) that the brain was associated with and the neuron pathways of the brain ‘remembered’ (like muscle memory) the old injury giving me the similar pain, but much worse. The cells in our body remember ‘peptide addiction’ old injuries. So it is true unless we release the issues on a cellular level, it stays inside us, ready to be activated again for future issues. I felt for you Mel, as I could barely walk or stand without pain. A suggestion for your video in future would be it would be nice to have a backdrop behind you and for you to possibly sit in a nice relaxed position on a couch with warmth around you, showing a relaxed environment. You have a lovely presence about you, attractive and I feel the environment should match your persona. Gorgeous coloured top too 🙂 Just a suggestion. (((hug))) xo
Yes so true Jac re the connection to physical issues.
Upon doing QF shifts on my back, I totally found the belief / reason and did a shift on it.
Totally about support! I was doing soooo many hours and felt unsupported (only briefly) – and it was an old ‘martyr pattern’ I have had for years that occasionally resurfaces ‘I’m doing everything and I feel unsupported!!’ – so anyway my back went…
The cool thing is I have now been able to clean up more of this ‘martyr pattern’ and my back feels great! I love how my back needed to show me what I needed to still do more work on…
Truly physical stuff is just the signal saying ‘You’re not listening to how yuk this false belief is for you – you’re hurting emotionally but you’re not taking responsibility for healing this’….and then bang the physical message comes!
So I am grateful for getting to the bottom of it!
Thanks re your suggestion! Yes we really didn’t want any distraction in the way of the important message – hence just ‘me’ in the video – but future ones will have settings totally!
Mel xo
Thanks Mel, it makes sense now why I have a lot physical issues and chronic pain, apart from the ‘degenerative disease’ some of my symptoms are from doing so much and not giving myself time out enough. I feel, at present I have to keep busy all the time, probably due to fear of stopping incase my mind starts looking into the pain again. I do ho for walks, bushwalks to our stunning mountains, ride my bike, do yoga and gym etc but my mind does not stop. Will work on it everyday now. Mindful of being in the moment. It is interesting how my back was strained and I cld barely move a few weeks ago as I was painting my art studio and did feel ‘unsupported’ for no one offered me help. My mother has physical pain too often when she is hanging onto stuff, creating more pain. She is constantly in resistence and refuses to help herself, but that is ‘her stuff’ xo
Love to you and I hope your back feels strong again. ☺
Thank you so much.Starting to feel better.Many males stay where they are and refuse help or healing.This is not about being weak,but about being a strong person I know I should be.Giving and receiving love and happiness in my life.I will continue on this wonderful healing journey.Love and peace to you Melanie
Hi Bill,
thank you for your post, and I am so glad you are feeling better!
You are so right in that it can feel very ‘unmanly’ for men to seek help and be ‘seen’ as not being able to work their problems out themself.
What is so wonderful is that more and more men are feeling safe to be vulnerable and to admit they have stuff (like all of us) that requires healing.
Thank you for being open and a powerful part of this healing for yourself and men.
Mel xo
Hi Mel-
Thanks for this so much. Because of your videos I understand so much and you’ve been one of my lifelines when I’ve been gripped by the emotions that keep me out of life.
I just completed this healing and I have some questions. Yesterday, I gave into my addiction by talking about some of the ways I felt slighted to a friend of mine. A friend who was narcissized herself btw and the one I turn to during all of my “melt downs.”
I always come out of this feeling better and because of your videos I now know why. And I also know why I am not getting over him.
However, the result is that it takes me out of my own feelings as I’m putting the focus or much of it on him. I don’t feel the pain for a little while after these conversations. As you know tho, it always comes back and I find myself in another session of rehashing parts of the relationship and what HE did.
So when I went to do the healing and did the writing part, I was able to get to some of my feeling at this point, really only by memory. And then you mentioned some while you were talking about the exercise and I went, “Oh yeah, I feel that too.” It’s like I’m detached right now.
I wrote the rating of 10 because that’s how I usually feel, but last night continued into this morning, I don’t know, I think I’m numb right now. So really I should’ve written 1 maybe. So anyway, whatever the number, I felt no change. I felt completely detached…at least for now. I have no doubt they’ll be back. Is this a result of the conversation I had with my friend?
OK so I also have questions about the healing. When you brought the tornado, I lost track of what to do with the tornado, guide it out through my crown? And then the pushing aside inside the container of my body. I can do all of that in my mind, but questioned if I should be pushing it to the sides still inside the container or does the container (my body) have ‘holes’ in the sides to push the stuff through? It seems to make more sense to push the stuff to the other side outside the body, but you didn’t specifically say that, so I wasn’t sure.
Thanks again for what you’re doing. I appreciate any input you can give here too.
Hi Luann,
you are so very welcome!
I’m happy to answer your questions.
That is great you are realising that rehashing and going back into the pain grants temporary relief, but keeps the pain (peptide addiction) cycle going.
When going back into the feeling – to rate a charge – you can go to the ‘memory’ of what the charge did feel like when its heavy….your body knows no difference between a ‘memory’ ‘now’ or ‘thoughts of the future’.
Your cellular body is timeless. You (at least by intention) accessed the memory / the knowing that when the pain hits it is a 10.
This is great, because you want to embrace the charge as much as possible in order to transform it.
Truly Luann, if you accessed the pain and shifted it – and got a great shift – it is really normal to not be able to feel it again – it’s like there is a wall between you and it…that is what the process of Q F Healing produces.
You would know (usually) after talking with your friend you do feel better – but you would still be able to go to memories and pull up the pain again.
Now you are having a different experience, and until you get familiar with Q F Healing – it does seem unreal, and our logic mind (who is not used to experiencing or believing in Energetic Shifts, or that pain can be resolved so easily)is going to QUESTION this!!
I did so much at the start too!!It seemed wayyy ‘too easy’ and ‘too ethereal’!
It is very true that you will get feelings back – because there are many hooks regarding narcissistic abuse that are specific and can remain as unhealed parts – and this is why these specific hooks are addressed in the Narc Abuse Recovery Program, so that they can be cleaned out and transformed in order to create a full ‘thriver’ recovery.(As well as eliminating the unconscious pattern of attracting another narcissistic relationship in the future).
Yes it is usual to let the tornado go out through your crown (the top of your head).
In regard to being the container and pushing out the junk – there really is no set way for that – as long as you end up clean, clear and open.
One of my lovely clients imagines himself as a tea cup going through a dishwasher to be cleaned completely! So whatever feels right for you is going to be exactly the language your subconscious understands!
I hope this helps, and please let me know if you have any other questions!
Mel xo
I would like to make a suggestion Luann, if I may regarding the junk to be shifted being pushed out to the side…I find it easier to (when we are in our sacred, beautiful space) think of yourself as that space, you are it, like it is the inside of your body and soul. Then walk around inside yoursef, with your container and find and pick up bits of junk, put it in the container ready to shift out. A bit like walking along the beach and picking up rocks. Also each of my pieces of junk (I use rocks-black flat rocks) have words on them, stating exactly what is to be shifted. Then I go in and shift that container or bucket full. I visualise it cleaning my sacred space, so no ‘bad rocks’ or ‘junk’ is there to pick up. My little Jac helps me, picking up smaller rocks. Hope this helps. X
…to add, my sacred space is a bit like the scenery in Avatar, except I use the Tasmanian wilderness mixed in with the stunning colours and effects from the Movie. 🙂
Melanie,
Thank you so very much for your words of wisdom. I really felt the shift. I know that there is much more shifting that I must do, but this first shift was so empowering. You helped me realize that the power was always there for me. I just gave it away to my NARC ex-husband. Now I can take it back. I also realized that I don’t ever have to give my power away to be loved. I now am taking responsibility for making myself happy and content and now giving that responsibility to someone else. I am now owning myself and my responsibility to me. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for helping to make it all so much clearer to me! Much love to you from me!
Hi Maddie,
big Yay! I am so happy for you that you had had the experience SO QUICKLY of coming home to yourself, embracing your emotions (so that you can transform them)and taking responsibility with the use of your own power.
The truth sets us free, and now you are on that real journey.
Maddie, really important to realise that healing is about clearing the pain, and the old programs to totally leave narc experience behind and create the real authentic love that you wish to have and create.
It is great that you want to do the inner work!
The most direct way for you to do that is access the Narc Abuse Recovery Program – because it will lead you to the cleaning up of the specific old programs to create a joyous, real and narc free life.
This is why I am so passionate about the creation of this Program and showing people the direct and most powerful way to do this.
Great luck with your journey and I truly hope and wish for you that you embrace the opportunity and break free into your new life, the one you totally deserve!
Lots of love back!
Mel xo
Wow!
Thank you for assisting us in this healing exercise. It is the only way a person can heal an move on from narcissistic or any abuse. And as you point our abuse can be so subtle and be like you say, a belief system that harms our hearts and lives.
Melanie as you and I know we invited the narcissistic abuser into our lives recognizing early on that they were in pain.
We thought we could take them under our wing and drown them with our love so much so that they would be healed.
I think we see ourselves suffering inside of them and loving them is also intended to help us.
They are childlike in many ways and I think they remind us of our inner child. I wish my husband could follow this video and start to heal too.
Thankfully he is in prison and I am able to heal with (easy to do) no contact.
I used to tell myself I was angry and hurt and therefore I was sure not to ever take him back because of that.
The healing that took place tonight shifted my thoughts and feelngs.
I’m not angry or hurt. I’m ok. I won’t take him back because I deserve honest love and respect and that is not what he offers.
It’s a very exciting time to be on earth. So many people are begining to reclaim their forgotten power. Many are waking up and making the connections we lost. We have been deceived for a long time. The light is beginning to flow again for mankind. It will be a long journey but I am hopeful that the day will come soon when we have been able to restore all of our power and connection to source.
Love and peace to you.
Amy DeMarco
Hi Amy, Wonderful post 🙂
My ex was so damaged and what made me sadder than anything, and ‘keeping me hooked, staying with him’ was I could see the pain and anguish inside of him, in his eyes, which made me want to hug him, say it is ok and look after him, be responsible to make him better. He was like a young child when I met him and after 4 years, he had not evolved, not even a small amount which is consistent with the disorder. He would sit with his ‘man toys’ on the ground and look like a sad little boy. After showing kindness and giving him my soul, he would turn into Mr Hyde, very quickly, which of course, I allowed. He would punish me for caring too much. Then when I backed off, to let him breath, he would accuse me of being unaffectionate…as the game goes. The QF has helped me shift a lot of that ‘feeling sorry for him’ now and writing this is not giving me the feelings accociated with the memories. It is sad they don’t see how to change or want to, like you said, but as Melanie said, it is like trying to get a ‘crocodile to behave like a labrador’ or to befriend a wombat. It it not something we should ever enter into, trying to get them to be accountable and take responsibility as it become a dangerous game when we do, as I found out. My ex became worse the longer we were together and it was only a matter of time before I was going to really pay the price. I hope your light gets brighter and brighter and for everyone else who is surviving and soon to be thriving. Strength to everyone and love. x
Jac, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am experiencing exactly what you are experiencing. My soon to be ex has been punishing me for over two years now, because I would not change the way he stipulated that I had to. He then got engaged to another woman before we have even signed the divorce papers. I had been trying to get him to be accountable for his actions, but instead he chooses to lay the blame for everything wrong in his life on me. With this QF I am beginning to realize that it is not my responsibility to care for him or accept the blame for his problems. I need to care for my self first and foremost and move forward with my life. I need to feel the peace.
Hi Maddie,
this is such a great recognition. Yes one of the most futile exercises we can do is hang on and try to force the narcissist to be accountable.
When we realise that the pain and the insane behaviour (that doesn’t make human sense) of the narc – at the highest truth – is a CATALYST showing us our unhealed wounds, then that is WHAT we can put our focus on.
This is not about ‘him’ then at all, and the narcissist loses his hold over you. He becomes merely a ‘messenger’ of what you needed to discover about yourself.
The greatest mission now for you is to heal your unhealed wounds, so that you can break free from the painful love and relationship patterns to create a true, real and authentic relationship with yourself and life – and THEN a future relationship of ‘more of that’.
That’s where the inner work comes in to it – so that we can break free into the reality we really want.
And none of us were aligned with what we want, or could have done the inner work unless the narcissist came along and toppled us, and showed us that is what we need to do!
Great that you are understanding this, and now you can grab the opportunity to really heal these unhealed parts with both hands (and your heart), and stop the painful cycle once and for all!
Mel xo
Hi Maddie, I left my ex 9 months ago after he nearly killed me. I had not long been out of Hospital after major surgery (3 months) and I was trying to build my strength from that, so was in a dangerous place trying to deal with his abuse also. My hair was falling out and the adrenaline rushes were so severe my piturity gland developed a small tumor which can happen over time. Adrenal exhaustion. At times he would show he ‘cared’ by cooking me dinner often (delicious meals) but straight after cooking me or sometimes during, he would turn, go pale and the black mood would appear. Of course I was then abused and couldn’t eat so in doing that over time, lost 5 kg. I am only 56 kg at my healthy weight. So Maddie, keep moving forward as the longer you stay, the worse it gets. When they see you changing, getting stronger and putting up boundaries, down they will come and like Mel said ‘it is impossible to hold strong boundaries when living with a Narc’. They find a way thru them. Keep doing QF and find a way to freedom, even if you have to dig your way out with a spoon. My ex has left me alone and is not nasty, said how sorry he is for his treatment toward me, how he is like his dad and so many ways of saying sorry, but I know they are only words, hooks and without him actively wanting to heal, he cannot change. Freedom feels incredible and my hair has grown back, I have put on 4kg, the tumor has gone and I have the recovery programme! Yay! Best of luck and love to you. :)x
I’m digging my way out with a spoon, Jac!
Love, Maria
Lovely, and very true post Jac.
Mel xo
Hi Amy,
Yes, truly I do believe that the horrific ‘damage’ and pain caused by narcissistic abuse can’t be undone or healed by ‘thinking’. Emotional pain and belief systems are not happening in our head – they are in our emotions (our cellular body). And it is our emotions that drive us DESPITE all logic! Hence why the deeper energetic / emotional healing system is effective where all else isn’t.
Oh yes Amy that is so spot on – we saw the broken, vulnerable child in the narc and tried to heal him. Little did we know back then it is not our job to try to heal another (especially someone who takes no responsibility to want to heal) it truly is our responsibility to heal ourself.
I am so pleased that the healing helped you shift your emotions into knowing….because this is the place where we ‘just know’.
Amy thank you for your lovely post, and I agree it is an exciting time, because truly we can all now claim the truth and our own inner power to heal, and be the creator of a great life that we truly deserve to be, and NOW we have powerful and direct methods to achieve that.
Mel xo
just got finished with video 3. I feel better “now”, and what a relief.. So I will step out into the world for a test.
Thanks Melanie , stay tuned
Hi Jody,
thank you for your lovely post, and I am so glad you felt a powerful shift!
Mel xo
Mel, you are a gift to anyone needing a healing. I KNOW it is no accident I found you. Every week I’ve received a blessed email from you at just the moment I needed it most. If you were firing missiles, it would be a perfect strike every time! I’ve done all of the things my therapist and advisors have told me, and the pain and loneliness were still paralyzing me. You have given me my first true relief. I will pray for you, as I know opposition comes to anyone doing the great and good things you are doing. And I will pray for all those who still need to find your site. What you offer is so beneficial that I’m here pinching myself, thinking I might be just dreaming I found your help. I just love you!
Hi Eileen,
I don’t believe in ‘coincidence’ either! I am so glad my emails have helped you enormously.
Yes, unfortunately just ‘mind’ solutions and strategies are rarely enough to heal our Inner Identity…I am so glad you are feeling relief, and truly if you haven’t committed yet to the Narc Abuse Recovery Program this is where the true and SPECIFIC relief is to heal from narc abuse…and truly this Program now is so accessible, affordable and money back guaranteed there is no reason why anyone who does not ‘get’ how the deeper healing solutions work should not be engaged in healing at this level!
It’s really hard not to be passionate when you know the breakthroughs it creates!
Please don’t worry about me – my Inner Identity beliefs are firmly set to ‘support from and in life, and for being my truth” therefore I have no fear of doing the work I do…
Once upon a time “yes” totally there would have been fear – but not now
Mel xo
I have finally given myself the ‘gift’ of treating myself to the ‘complete recovery programme!’ Yippee! I am really looking forward to the first healing, even though I have had 3 QF healing sessions via the link to the live on air session and from this video, but it will be much more powerful and of more benefit with the MP3 QF sessions. The time is now and I will send my feedback on how it has helped me. For anyone new to meeting Melanie and finding her site, please stick with her and read here story as like Melanie and for me personally, going through ‘utterly horrific’ verbal, covert, overt, every kind of abuse beyond comprehension and for me, being trapped in a guilded cage for 4 years with the ‘love of my life’ was The same repeat pattern from my childhood. It goes way back for me to some very painful childhood memories, which was still being played out and now I am going to conquer it. I hope everyone has the opportunity to get the recovery programme, as I do believe it is a phenomenal healing tool, with Melanie’s guidance, we can all get better and live the life we have imagined. We have all been given the ‘gift’ from the people in our life that have hurt us, and we can all turn that gift into finding ourselves. I am so greatful to you Mel with much love. 🙂 x
Hey Jac,
I am so pleased for you – and it will be lovely to hear how the healings go for you.
Yes, you have been doing work with Q F before, but now you do have access to releasing the specific hooks of Narc Abuse, and this will take it to a whole new breakthrough level for you!
You are so welcome Jac, and it has been a total pleasure to see your recovery unfold.
Mel xo
Dear Mel,
It was divine inspiration that led me to you. I’ve done one on live session with you and accessed the free radio session three times, and it is amazing how much lighter and centered I feel. When I am confronted with a situation that presents an opportunity for the pain to reappear, it no longer holds a charge, and I remain calm and peaceful, and know exactly how to handle it. I know I still have a lot of work to do, but these very significant changes are massive on my road to recovery. Also, on the last two QFH sessions, I physically felt the muscles in my back spasm when you talked about reintegrating the bits of my soul, and the entire area tingled for about an hour afterwards. I also felt tired during and after the session. Maybe I’m trying too hard, or maybe I just need more sleep! Either way, it’s all good. You’re a blessing and I’ so glad I found you. I’ve told several friends and family about you. I wish you the best! 🙂
Hi Veronica,
I am so pleased you feel the relief and lightness after doing the Q F work. The word ‘lighter’ is such a lovely word, and truly when we are releasing ‘junk’ it is a perfect description.
Life gets so much easier without the emotional burden and pain!
That is great that you ‘know’ what to do – how to respond, rather than ‘react’. The more and more we become True Self (our natural state) we do just know ‘how’ to be – because we are in perfect and divine harmony with ourself and life.
Physical sensations are very common with Q F Healing, as your DNA is literally re-wiring as the energy shifts – and sometimes the body feelings can be incredibly profound!
The tired feeling can really hit if you are already tried. Whenever you enter a Q F Healing space – (either one-on-one with me or via recording) you go into theta brain wave as soon as you have permission for me to enter your energetic space – which is a ‘spacy more relaxed’ frequency.
Often when I do Q F on myself I feel so spacey and blissy, I feel very sleepy. Sometimes when I have been tired I have to make sure I am sitting upright, rather than lying down or I can fall asleep during shifts!
Also when you shift negative belief systems and release them – you let go of survival programs that your body was living with (out of alignment) and trying to survive with.
Once these survival programs are released your body feels tremendous relief and says “Thank goodness, I can relax now.” It is usual when you have a big shift to want to sleep! And it’s usually an awesome sleep!
I hope this explains!
Mel xo
That makes a lot of sense, thank you! So are there any dangers or drawbacks to falling asleep during a shift, other than the shift not happening?
Hi Veronica,
No Q F Healing is gentle…
I have at times when falling asleep had the ‘frustration’ of when waking thinking ‘I have to go back to check where I was with that’…it just meant it was ‘still there’ (the same as before I started)!
Mel xo
:-). I’ll make sure to catch up on sleep then since I want every shift to count. Thanks again for all you do!
Hi Veronica 🙂 I fell asleep during a huge shift one evening and I woke up saying the number 4! The recording was still going and I honestly felt like I had been hypnotised, as my arms were embracing my body. I do know that when unconscious or when people have been in a coma, they can hear and sometimes on awakening, remember what was said. I experienced this once with a friend who was in a coma after a car accident. After my QF session (during a short snooze) I felt lighter. What I was shifting had gone. 🙂
That is so true Jac,
sometimes our subconscious just ‘does’ it anyway….
I remember a while back I was doing live healings with a group in a webinar situation and we lost audio….I took me a while to realise this…When I went back to check in on the ‘shift’ it had already taken place even though theses people had not ‘consciously’ heard me!
I was in awe of how energy does work after that day…that even the pure intention of them being in the healing space meant the shift worked even without five-sensory connection – I was like “WOW – that is incredible!”
Mel xo
Hi Veronica,
that’s a great idea!
You are very welcome 🙂
Mel xo
This healing rocks!
WOW – I’m only just working out that I have been a victim of my husbands personality disorder. I thought he was just a private person that had some issues with his past that he didn’t want to talk about, but now putting all of the other things together I realise what been really happening and what he has done to me.
He will never change or seek help and I have already tried to warn his new love interest, I don’t know why.
During this session I found the feels of being very weighted down and then as that whirlpool was leaving my head I realised I was crying because I knew I have to get this all out of me finally once and for all to move forward. I’m supposed to met my husband this afternoon for a chat, I won’t be there now I taking back my inner self and he will not get one more piece of it .
Hi Wendy,
I am so pleased you had this big shift – and from what you wrote I know you have….you now FEEL differently about him and more connected to yourself.
That is terrific and what true healing is all about – the ‘coming home to our inner self’ rather than trying to get there while battling it all out in our minds!
I’m so glad you have understood this and now know how to create your True Self!
Mel xo
unbelievable, really, feeling so much better thankyou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh yeah, and if you have a career, prepare for it to pick up when you really start to do this healing. I have been inundated with love letters to my business ever since I started this healing a week ago. I think I’m gonna have to hire an assistant (or 2) to keep up.
Keep it up Melanie! I have been telling my friends:)
Hi Mel,
I didn’t feel a big shift right away. But my body has been aching less (I suffer from high muscle tension when under stress)and my mind is peaceful. Got some shit thrown my way a couple of times this week and was able to handle it a lot better. Will be doing another one this weekend. Thanks Mel! You’re a gem.
Hi Melanie,
I did your radio session this weekend and felt a big shift. Came away knowing that I love me (never quite knew what that meant)and I will always take care of me and with the affirmation that I would always have enough.
I’m so excited!! I just got offered a new, better paying job!! Something I love to do! I was worrying about money these last few weeks. I can hardly believe it. Can’t thank you enough. Will be doing more sessions as I feel I have more to shift but the big rocks have gone! Thanks so much….
Incredibly Positive and helpful. Theta waves- used them in meditating to block premature labor- so successfully the doctors wrote papers on it. Taught myself to control my hormone output so what you do makes sense.
Went right back to that meditative state. My block is now apparent- my little sister died young, cancer. My parents grief and pain felt like abandonment. I could not heal any of them much less me. The N- tried to heal him too. Couldn’t and got rejected and abused for trying.
Too much for one session. But you opened a door. I have been in therapy several times trying to heal this. Each time I think I have it crops up again. Ideas???
This is definitely the healing mechanism I have been searching for. I have truly left the N in my dust. Cannot heal him, stopped caring. Whew that took YEARS !
Mom still an issue. Not a healthy relationship, but she is elderly and needs me.
When her own very emotionally disconnected mother died she was reborn. It unleashed all sorts of growth.
I really want to be healthy enough to love her with all the baggage she carries from her own childhood- without damaging my fragile recovery. She is 90, I am 60. I need to heal me first but what if she can’t wait?
Mel..Today I awoke in such pain I couldnt face it again. I have lost ALOT of weight, and am seriously depressed and today was the day I was going to commit suicide to stop thinking about him and stop the pain. I looked at the email from you. I thought what the hell it cant hurt.THANK-YOU from the bottom of my heart. I know I can live now, with the white light that has filled me with love and acceptance. I have value and my narc mother and husband cant hurt me anymore. I love this and you. THANK-YOU
Thankyou, its been an emotional day and i feel alot lighter for listening to your voice above all. I understand what i need to do and if i can continue with no contact and be more assertive in my ways i will overcome the urges. Its not easy, but i need emotional freedom and i want to get there so thanks for doing what your doing xx
Linda, I know what that feels like. N abuse triggered physical illness , weight loss, hair fell out. Also was in so much pain- I did not want to end my life but saw no other way out of the pain. Kniw that there is. I just held on, one breath at a time. Every day of NC gave me breathing space. it gets easier. Then Melanie was put in my path just as I was ready to hear her message. Growth had been interminably slow- but now it is really happening.