Melanie Tonia Evans

The Once Broken And Homeless Man Who Brought The Thriver Model To Life – Part 2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 6
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

There is a very sad truth about the human race.

It’s this ….

Despite all the beauty, abundance, love, joy and connection that is there for us to experience, there is something very sinister lurking beneath the surface.

Something that we can’t see, yet which impacts EVERY area of our life.

And it is so deeply lodged within our being and our psyche that it plagues every single human being and humanity as a collective.

What am I talking about?

The Core Beliefs which keep us separated from our True Life-force; making us afraid, unhappy, unsatisfied, and stuck in painful life situations.

These beliefs are so powerful, they have a force of their own.

Convincing us of things like this every day …

I’m defective.

No one will love me.

I’m not smart enough, skinny enough, interesting enough, or nice enough be loved.

The world is a horrible, unsafe place.

Life is tough and a never-ending battle.

Well … no more … TRULY! Because I TAKE A STAND that we do not need to keep living like this!

And today is the day we are going to start identifying, breaking down and reprogramming these beliefs … and I’m going to show you HOW to do it in record time.

When we shed the Core Beliefs which aren’t serving us, and embody ones that do, we start to generate incredible peace, wholeness and happiness on the inside … which allows us to generate true and healthy relationships with ourselves, others and Life and start expressing our Truest Self and Highest Aspirations.

In this article we are going to tackle the first TWO False Core Beliefs which have been devastating for the Human Condition.

Please know there is only ONE place we EVER have the power to do that … in our own Being.

Then …  in only a few days time, we will work on the next Three False Core Beliefs, in order to deeply shift them and anchor into even Higher Truths.

The next few days will be INCREDIBLE for you, if you feel you are ready for inner transformation at this level.

(Personally I LOVE it when we can make powerful, impactful breakthrough in record time.)

Why not? is my philosophy, because I believe we DON’T have to learn anything new … rather we are simply shedding the debris and waking up to the truth of Who We Have Always Been underneath it.

In Part One of this Series, which I released a few days ago, I talked about when I first read Neale Donald Walsch’s bestselling material Conversations With God in the year 1999and how it revolutionized my views of The Human Experience.

So MUCH so, that some years later it was my inspiration to create the Thriver Healing Template.

And now, I have the absolute joy of sharing the opportunity for all of us to be a part of Neale’s next world-class event – one which will have thousands upon thousands of people from all over the globe attending.

You can sign up for FREE here:

Conversation With God – The 3 Secrets To Ending The Struggles And Making Your Life Work.

There is only a few short days left to register for this FREE event – sooooo make sure you don’t miss out!

And please know, if you can’t make it live, you will be provided with a recording which you can listen to at a time that suits you. (Modern day technology makes these events SO convenient now!)

It only takes a few seconds to reserve you space, and you can do so here.

I LOVE Neale’s work … and this event promises to be transformational and powerful, because Neale’s material changes lives, its shifts people at SOUL level, and I have no doubt that this event will be incredibly and positively impactful for you.

Just as it is my intention that today’s information, and the information that my next article (Part Three) will bring to you, is INCREDIBLY transformational for you as well!

As I stated in Part One, I am keen to encourage you and inspire you to get involved in these two articles, by doing the workshops and posting your answers to the questions in both articles.

And I want to inspire you with the INCENTIVE to do so! … 5 people who participate will be chosen in a draw to claim ANY MTE Course of their choice valued up to $225.00.

But please note: You must post your answers to the workshop exercises in today’s article, and the following article to be in the draw!

To be eligible you must have completed your answers by Sunday 10th July 10AM AEST.

And  … what is so EXCITING about participating in the Workshops (apart from the free Course giveaways!) is that you will start identifying, dismantling and replacing the most painful Five Core Human Beliefs … that are leading you away from peace, radiance, acceptance and love … so that you can start claiming the freedom to become Who You Truly Are.

(Please know when you post your answers you can remain anonymous if you wish!)

Now … let’s get ONTO the unravelling and healing of the first Two False Core Human Beliefs.

I believe these two are hugely and foundationally important to up-level … because these beliefs, when we are stuck in the illusion of them, create a template that keeps us small, diminished, alone and powerless … as well as in painful and fearful defenses, instead of expressing our natural joyful, radiant, loving True Self.

Okay … so let’s dive deeply into Core Belief Number 1 … regarding what the True Self version really IS and how to shift OUT of our previous false programming.

 

Core Belief Number One: There is No Separation From Our Higher Power, Ourselves or Each Other

Meaning at the Quantum Level we are all in fact interconnected as One, and all pain and suffering comes through the illusion (and often delusion) that separation is real.

When we shift out of the Core Belief of Separation, into one of Oneness, we move from feeling “all alone”, “forsaken”, “out in the cold” and “not wanting to be here on this planet” (which so many of us have felt!) to feeling included in the Whole.

Then we start to get happy about being on Planet Earth and sharing it with other human beings.

We can even start to experience feelings of I am looked after which increases to, I am flourished and nourished by My Higher Power, myself, Life and others.

Then EVERYTHING starts to shift in our experience.

Think about how MANY things, interactions and experiences are influenced by “separation” and believing we have to fight for a “share” of love or / and survival as opposed to what would happen if you were  generating a life with the Inner Identity of “being included in the Whole”.

It’s actually mind-blowing the difference Life becomes – all the way down to frustrating things regularly happening (Life is against me), to everything regularly and effortlessly falling into place (Life is working for me).

I promise you, I used to be painfully entrenched in the first belief (always) and now I am gloriously entrenched in the second one (always).

When you have moved out of the Old Core Beliefs of Separation into the new Core Beliefs of Oneness, you will learn so much about how your beliefs are creating your reality.

AND … you will start to realize how powerfully you ARE a Generative Source of Your Own Experience.

This is the change that happens …

YOU start showing up as a different Being in your Life Experiences.

(That is where the power is.)

You bring to the table a person who NO longer feels and behaves like an outsider.

Because you have shifted on the inside …

Let me explain with an example.

Imagine this simple real life scenario …

Max has been asked to take place in a management meeting at work. He feels uneasy and somewhat depressed about the thought of the meeting.

(This is Max’s “normal” in regards to Group Interaction.)

He feels diminished …  like his comments will not be heard or appreciated and that he doesn’t have a voice.

(Interestingly Max felt this a lot in regard to his parents and siblings when he was growing up.)

When the discussions in the meeting start, Max does not put his best foot forward. He lets everyone else speak, and when he blurts something out (regarding an issue which he is passionate about) he has the experience of not being heard and everyone talking over the top of him.

Max leaves the meeting feeling even more depressed than before it started, and he feels like pulling away even further from his co-workers and decides NOT to socialize next Friday night with any of them.

Alexandra was at the same meeting.

She walked into the room excited about conjoining with her fellow managers and sharing ideas and working together as a team for the greater good.

Her energy is inviting, open and connected with everyone and Alexandra has a great deal to do with the meeting.

She left happy that so much was achieved, and feels an even greater connection and respect for her co-workers.

(Interestingly Alexandra came from a warm, large, inviting family where she felt loved, included, valued and a part of the whole.)

We all have possibly felt like Max, like we just don’t fit it, and been extremely envious of someone like Alexandra, who seems to fit in so naturally.

And like Max we may stay stuck as a victim, believing that people are singling us out and not loving us, respecting us and connecting to us – and we may believe that humankind is basically cruel, segregating, judgmental and selfish.

The beliefs we have inside us, that began LONG before these adult interactions, confirm … People don’t get me or accept me, I am different to everyone else, No-one understands me.

Or even this TERRIBLY painful belief …

I must be defective.

I PROMISE you these beliefs are FALSE!

Yes, we can play them out as “real” … yet they are FALSE … they are NOT the truth!

And actually they were NEVER ours to begin with, because our Organic Natural Being IS connected, IS acceptable, and IS AT ONE with all other vibrating things (Beings).

And this INSANE illusion of “separation”, “segregation” and “differences” are all innocuous notions that other people before us TOOK ON and then PASSED ON to us.

This painful trauma – truly – is not even your own … and at True Self level, the deeper, truest soul part of you KNOWS that.

We can see, from this real-life office example that Max’s Inner Identity is stuck in illusions of separation – which automatically brings fear of judgment, painful feelings of non-inclusion, being alone and difficulties with connection.

Therefore he is SHOWING UP In ways that fuel his beliefs of “separation” and validate it.

And THIS is the rub …

Max does NOT have the resources (as yet) to connect with others healthily.

Why not?

Because he has the traumas of “separation wounds” stuck in his Inner Identity.

Which means he is in PROTECTION trying to avoid receiving more pain of separation … which incidentally is eating him alive every day – as our painful inner wounds trapped inside us do, until we face them and heal them.

“Protecting himself” with defense mechanisms that will NOT allow him to connect.

Perfect example – delivering the first preemptive strike.

Remember how Max after the painful experience of the meeting decided to NOT connect with anyone from the office on Friday Night?

He had decided to go home sit with his dog and eat a tub of ice-cream instead.

Soooo … what this all boils down to (and I hope it is getting clearer and clearer) behavior CAN’T be changed with thought – it must be changed with Belief – because it is only when this Core Belief of Separation is shifted to one of warmth, inclusion and Oneness that Max will start showing up as a different human being.

Then he will naturally and organically generate a completely different experience.

AND … if he doesn’t shift the Belief then his THINKING in regard to this can only and will only be in the range of the existing belief.

We ALWAYS think in accordance to what we truly FEEL (the belief on any subject) … and … even if we try to force a new way of thinking IF the belief is powerful enough (and the ones which hold BIG emotional trauma are) then we will ALWAYS default back to the thinking that confirms the Belief.

Whoa …

Is this making sense?

Read the above slowly and take it in bit by bit if it isn’t – because this understanding truly is the KEY to your Life.

I promise you that WHEN I got this … and I mean REALLY got this … it blew my head of.

I FINALLY knew how to CHANGE my life.

Because I realized how TRUE this was.

Soooooo ridiculously true.

And I thought this … WHY on EARTH were we not taught this as everyday curriculum?

Because … it surely would have saved a whole heap of drama … the pain, fear, trauma, brutality, suffering and craziness that SADLY trademarks humanity.

Going back to our office example …

Alexandra is already carrying healthy beliefs of connection with others (Oneness), because she feels great about it. She expects and generates connection, mutuality and conjoining.

She doesn’t need to work on these beliefs.

Her real life experiences are confirming to her what is going on with her Belief Systems on the Inside (as the Outer World always does).

Big Thumbs Up!!!

Now here is the next DEEPER level of shining a whopping great light on the insane notion of “Separation”.

The belief that our Inner World and Outer Worlds are NOT connected.

That (in a nutshell) is the most disempowering, painful and devastating belief regarding Separation of them all.

Because that automatically means, I am a victim.

It means, There is nothing I can do within myself to have a different life experience.

And …

I am my ancestors, my parents, this health condition or this traumatic experience. I am powerless to create a different future given my history.

Which is all incredibly convenient for the psychology and pharmaceutical models which regularly keep people sick and alive and dependent and NOT ever healed from their trauma and dis-ease.

HERE is the TRUTH about all of this …

There is NOTHING you can do about the incident, the person, your past and your ancestry … and in fact (and please don’t think I am NOT validating you).

ALL and ANY of that is irrelevant.

Truly …

Why?

Because you have zero power over incidents and people outside your Own Being. And trying to fix change or control ANY of that only leads you away from healing and into the powerlessness and more trauma of being controlled by these incidents and people.

Wrong town!

What IS relevant is THIS … tracking these incidences through to the trauma and belief systems you have taken on in your Inner Identity, which are NOT the truth of Who You Are (regardless of how they got there) and sorting them out THERE!

 

“What’s happening is merely what’s happening. How you feel about it is another matter.”

― Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Vol. 1

 

Because that is the ONLY way you can get well.

Then your Life will change beyond recognition in record time WITHOUT the hard, drawn out battles.

And MOST importantly, you will start to enjoy a wonderful growing, expanding and joyful experience of evolving oneself, which is the EXACT opposite of staying stuck in endless suffering.

Personally, I can’t encourage you to do this enough, and I hope that you are starting to get really excited about doing the Workshopping on this … because like my previous self, the Core Beliefs of “Separation” may be incredibly painful for you too.

For me they were gut-wrenching.

I had carried them all my life, and like the example of Max – I thought it was my normal.

As a child I would steer away from other children, and I was often in my bedroom playing with my animal toys, because this was the only time I felt “okay”.

As I grew up and started to suffer the teenage and adult pain of “Separation”, I felt like God had forsaken me (that I was cursed actually) and that people were often out to get me, hurt me and even annihilate me.

I felt that Life and Planet Earth and Humans were drastically unsafe, and I really did NOT want to be here.

These feelings were of course significantly intensified (brought to the surface and fully energized) after narcissistic abuse.

It wasn’t until I deeply found these terrible self-annihilating beliefs with Quanta Freedom Healing and replaced them with the True Source Beliefs of Love and Oneness that my Inner Being came out of lock down trauma and stepped into freedom … namely joy, expansion and connection WITHOUT fear.

And for the FIRST time in my entire life (lifetimes really) I started TRULY Connecting to Life and Others and Living.

Before this time I was dying.

Before this time I tried to hide out from Life and Others with these terrible beliefs inside me eating me alive.

Thank GOD Narcissistic Abuse happened FOR me … otherwise (can you imagine) I would be some weird spinster … a depressed, distrustful, hermit cat-lady by now!!!

(Those of you who know me – as I am NOW – could NOT imagine me being like that in a million years!)

When you shift out of beliefs of “Separation” (fear) into ones of “Oneness” (love) you will no longer use the unconscious defense mechanisms of shutting down and pulling away, or trying to connect in ineffectual ways that turn people off.

Because you will have embodied “belonging” … meaning you will be open-hearted and will start connecting and tapping into Life, for the SAKE of connecting … without fear and without agenda. 

Like myself and so many other Thrivers, you will start to LOVE life and start flowing the infinite resources of Life though you – instead of “hiding out” … which then starts to generate healthy connected relationships with other people.

This Core Belief, and healing it – ONE person at a time – has the potential to heal our entire world.

It is only DUE to our views of separation from our Higher Power (whatever your version is) that you feel forsaken and even “punished” by God / Life / Creation.

It only through the agony of “separation” that we feel we have to choose a life of defense, aloneness, distrust, attack and “me versus you”.

If we all knew the truth at Quantum Level (God Particle Truth) that we are ALL interconnected and to harm any part harms the whole, no longer could we hurt ourselves or each other.

 

“You must stop seeing God as separate from you, and you as separate from each other. The only solution is the Ultimate Truth: nothing exists in the universe that is separate from anything else. Everything is intrinsically connected, irrevocably interdependent, interactive, interwoven into the fabric of all of life. All government, all politics, must be based on this truth. All laws must be rooted in it. This is the future hope of your race; the only hope for your planet.”

― Neale Donald Walsch, The Complete Conversations with God

 

In our insanity of “separation” the greater population living on our planet are under stress, or actually dying, from the lack of having basic needs met.

NONE of that could happen unless we were deeply entrenched in beliefs of “separation”.

If we all knew at the deepest level we are all One, additionally the persecution, hatred and judgment of each other would cease.

We would know poor behavior is caused by wounded belief, and HUGELY generated by the Core Beliefs of Separation. Then the demonizing could be replaced with compassion and we would become part of the SOLUTION – the waking up from terrible Core Beliefs that have been destroying ourselves, each other and our world.

Which we NEVER are – if we are determined to carry on with our demonizing of ourselves and others.

What is incredible is this: we are seeing shifts in our world, where people GET this now. We are seeing beautiful expressions of Oneness and evolutionary behavior whenever we have terrorist attacks.

“Ride with me” was such an uprising of Love and Oneness.

There have been and will continue to be countless others.

And we will create healing … we will move out of fear when we heal our Core Beliefs of Separation… ONE person at a time.

 

WORKSHOP EXERCISES

(Important message) **** Please note you may need to only work one incident / emotion / belief through to conclusion – to REALLY do it thoroughly and have time to answer the questions on the blog in time.

You can go back to this template to keep working on all the other False Beliefs you unearth at any time afterwards!

If you are a NARP Member, because you have the super-tool Quanta Freedom Healing, there is no need to go through all the details of the exercises from 1- 7 … instead simply go to the exercise following afterwards.

Soooo. Here we go!! Let’s get started!

 

1) Take out your journal or a piece of paper and ask yourself what are the times when you personally feel “separation”.

List these incidents.

Example:

“When I am at a family dinner”, “When I see couples and I know I don’t have a love-partner”, “When my friends don’t invite me out”, “When my partner speaks over the top of me.”

 

2) Go deeply into a “scene” in your imagination about these incidences. Don’t write about it just imagine it.

Then close your eyes and take your attention inside yourself.

Then feel WHERE in your body you can feel the energy of the trauma (the painful feeling).

It may be in your heart, your solar plexus or maybe your shoulders (it could be anywhere). The energy could be so big that it feels like it is under your skin everywhere.

Then in your journal write out the following:

“My incident is …………….. and I feel it in this body part …………….

Then ask yourself “What do I really feel about this?” and write …

“What I deeply feel about this is …………………….”

Write as much detail as to how you feel about it, as you possibly can.

Really tap in and go for it.

Example:

“My incident is when I see couples and I know I don’t have a love-partner … I feel it in this body part my heart. What I deeply feel about this is I feel unloved, alone, too choosy, like I’ve missed out on love, like love can only happen to other people but it will never happen for me etc. etc.”

 

3) Then dismiss the “incident” … it’s actually NOT important … and focus into the FEELINGS you have tapped into, because that is leading you to the Painful Core Beliefs.

List the emotions that you tapped into in Exercise 2 – because now you are going to locate the False Beliefs that trapped in these painful emotions.

Keep your attention inside you, because this is about connecting to what is going on in your Emotional Self (Inner Identity) and now it is time to start locating the Beliefs.

Deeply breathe and imagine having your body open (so that you can access Infinite Inner Wisdom) and ask yourself “What is the False Belief(s)?”

Example:

Emotion                                 False Belief(s)                             

“I feel unloved”                       “I am unloveable”                               

                                                   “Other people don’t want me”          

“I feel alone”                            “I am alone”                                          

                                                   “I will always be alone”                       

                                                   “Other people aren’t there for me”   

etc. etc. etc.

 

 

4) After working through your list to find the False Beliefs, emotionally check into them. Rate each one out of 10.

This is in regard to how powerfully (or not) you can feel the energy of the emotion in your body. A 1/10 would be: I barely feel it, a 10/10 would be: This is hugely painful for me.

Example:

Emotion                                 False Belief(s)                             Rating

“I feel unloved”                       “I am unloveable”                               9/10

                                                   “Other people don’t want me”          8/10

“I feel alone”                            “I am alone”                                          8/10

                                                   “I will always be alone”                       10/10

                                                   “Other people aren’t there for me”   10/10

etc. etc. etc.

 

The ones with the most energy are the ones with the biggest charge.

THESE are the ones that have the greatest hold over you, and are the ones that are continually re-appearing as REAL EVIDENCE in your Life confirming the validity of the Belief – until reprogrammed.

 

5) Now that you have had an INCREDIBLE awakening in regard to what has been REALLY going on inside you, ask you Inner Being (with your eyes closed) “What are the defenses I have been using to try to protect myself from getting more hurt in regard to my painful beliefs?”

And know that this is about identifying EXACTLY how you have been showing up in ways that help generate the painful belief!

Example:

I don’t make eye contact with people. If there is anyone I am attracted to near me who could be a potential partner, I avoid them – even if they try to approach me.

“I’m always too busy to get in contact with family and friends and I don’t make them a high priority.

I don’t ask people for what I need, I just assume that I am going to annoy them if I do.

I never share with people how I feel or connect with them deeply. I don’t risk it.

Etc. etc.”

 

6) Now for every realization regarding how you have been showing up – ask your Inner Being “the age” of this part

 This is where you need to tap in and ask yourself, “How old is this part of me?”

This is about understanding that our original traumas came from our childhood. Any part of ourselves driving our life painfully is NOT an adult, developed part. It is a young, unhealed, underdeveloped part which needs our attention, love and healing to help it grow up.

How we were parented impacted us hugely, and no parents were perfect. In the cases where they were emotionally absent, neglectful, engulfing, conditionally loving or abusive they were acting out from their own traumas and painful Core Beliefs that they took on from their parents.

We were negatively programmed in so many ways – often we have trauma DNA (epigenetics proves this now) that was a part of our Being from the moment of conception, and then what is likely is, we are born into an environment where that same trauma pattern plays out.

The problem is, when unresolved, this trauma then repeats in our adult life, until it is reprogrammed (which is EXACTLY what we are working on today!).

Sooo, in regard to the age, we are looking for a young part of self … and it will come as an intuitive message – a gut feeling, a flash of a number … or a memory that pops up.

(Don’t logically try to work it out, such as search your memory banks for an incident your mind believes was responsible. LET you body guide you … in other words go with whatever comes up for you.)

Just trust …

If you get multiple ages use the youngest age.

If a number doesn’t come, and especially if this part of you feels like it was always there … then write “ancient”.

This means, you were born with this … it was in your DNA even before you were born.

Examples:

“I don’t make eye contact with people. If there is anyone I am attracted to near me who could be a potential partner, I avoid them – even if they try to approach me. (This part of me is 6).”

“I’m always too busy to get in contact with family and friends and I don’t make them a high priority. (This part of me is 4).”

“I don’t ask people for what I need, I just assume that I am going to annoy them if I do. (This part of me is ancient).”

“I never share with people how I feel or connect with them deeply. I don’t risk it. (This part of me is 1).”

 

7) Use the following prayer to create a shift for these parts of Your Inner Being. Whilst doing so imagine holding this part, freeing him or her of the trauma and replacing the trauma with his or her True Self.

 In this part of the “shift” we are working with Quantum Reality … meaning we don’t need to “work this out” or even “change how we think about it”.

 

“Life (as you call it) is an opportunity for you to know experientially what you already know conceptually. You need learn nothing to do this. You need merely remember what you already know, and act on it. ”

― Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Vol. 1

 

What we HAVE done is identified the ENERGY of the trauma and Painful Belief in our Being, and now we are going to shift it out and replace it with our True Self Energy.

We are accessing the part of ourselves which is Higher Self / God / Creation (we are all connected as One) which CAN heal what our limited human mind (which is living the illusion of being separated from that energy) CAN’T.

This is soul-level work which has so much more power than what we can ever achieve cognitively.

When we get a body shift then our brain automatically follows. That is what we seek.

The old paradigms of trying to get the brain to change first only regurgitates the trauma of “what happened” over and over again without having either the power or the path to reprogram the Inner Identity. This is usually completely ineffective for extreme trauma, and in fact it OFTEN creates more damage and more cementing of victimization than healing.

Hence why we need a Healing System and Path that really works.

Here is the prayer:

(Please note you can ask for your personal choice of Higher Power to be present with you in this prayer.)

 Dearly beloved (age) part of me. I now grant you permission to release the traumas and faulty beliefs that you took on that were never yours to begin with.

I ask yours and my Higher Self and Power to take these away, and dissolve these into the native nothingness that they truly are.

I ask for both of our Higher Power to open up the space where these traumas and beliefs once were and to fill them with Light – the Light of our True Self who knows the Resolution and Truth on these Topics.

And so it is.

Amen.”

This prayer is powerful if you do a visualization with it (whatever feels right for you for each component).

Such as “seeing” the junk being released, taken away and dissolved, space opening up in the cells of your body and Light filling then from above.

Please know as a result of doing this Workshop (a slightly different and more watered down version of Quanta Freedom Healing) you are doing the ONE thing that is essential to start your Thriver Journey …

This … you are taking your focus OFF the outside (which you are powerless to change) and you are coming deeply INSIDE to SELF-PARTNER.

Now here are the instructions for NARP Members regarding shifting “Separation”.

Use the Goal Setting Module and set up “The Source Healing and Resolution of This” as your goal … in regard to “Separation”.

Target “Separation from a) My Higher Power, b) myself, c) others and d) Life” (all as separate entities) in your body and track to origin and clear with the QFH process until you reach a 10/10 on a) b) c) and d).

Get excited NARPers … because this Liberation (with a capital L), if you clean this up in your DNA properly, WILL deliver you into yourself and Life in ways that you only previously dreamed about!

(I can’t wait to hear your reports!)

Okay NOW lets get onto Core Belief Number 2 …

And please know there is lots less I need to explain now!!

 

Core Belief Number Two: There is Nothing We Have to Prove or Do in Order to be Loved and Approved of by Our Higher Power and to Love and Approve of Ourselves

“There is nothing I have to do, nowhere I have to go, and no way I have to be except exactly the way I am being right now. My happiness is knowing this, my joy is expressing it, my bliss is experiencing it.”

― Neale Donald Walsch

 

Incredible pain and suffering comes from the beliefs I am not enough to be loved and I have to earn love.

When we shift this Core Belief of I have to earn love into I am loveable simply because I exist, we move from feeling “unworthy” “unacceptable” “defective” and “unlovable” to the embodied knowing that I AM worth loving, unconditionally simply as we are.

This is the beginning of TRULY loving and accepting ourselves.

This means we can start feeling deep feelings of self-partnering, and becoming our own lover, best friend, cheer squad and support team … which is far healthier than the USUAL conditional jury and executioner to self that we are at the slightest provocation, when we are judging ourselves whilst being cemented in our stories of “not being enough”.

Additionally, we stop our manic quest to “always improve ourselves” and just settle into Life enjoying it.

One of the most beautiful shifts that we have through reprogramming this Core Belief is that we start to attract other people into our life who also don’t judge us.

Yippee!

People who we can be ourselves with. People who we can be real and vulnerable with, and have honest conversations with without fear.

Yet, we also know that we are solid, safe enough and self-partnered enough that if someone doesn’t have the resources to be healthy, then we CAN walk away – full and healthy.

When you have moved out of the Old Core Beliefs of I need to earn love into the new Core Beliefs of I am love and lovable just as I am you will learn so much about how your beliefs are creating your reality.

You will start showing up in ways with Life and yourself and others where you are no longer feeling defective and unacceptable and “not good enough”.

Let me share with you this example:

Donna has started a new relationship, and she is really keen to show Tom how much she loves him.

Within a week she offered to do his ironing.

Within a month she makes his lunches and does all his food shopping.

The following month Donna feels like Tom is pulling away from her, and she ups the ante … she starts doing more for him.

And then Donna starts feeling this resentment, What the hell does he do for me?

Great question Donna …

The answer?

What Tom doing for you is supplying you with the evidence of the beliefs I am not loveable for who I am – and I always have earn love.

You don’t have the Inner Programs of I am loveable and loved just as I am and therefore you are not receiving it, and even if you were, you would HAVE to push it away.

Because that healthy incoming “love” would NOT be a match for your present Inner Identity

Every honest and “focused on evolution” person I have EVER spoken to about this, with similar patterns as Donna, admitted that every person they partnered with who DID want to love them healthily was a turn-off and they could only be attracted and want to stay with the people who DIDN’T.

Bingo!

That’s how the Inner Identity game works!

Now let’s look at Cherie who has started a relationship with Grant.

She tells him she doesn’t cook, and she’s not domesticated …  because she’s just more interested in Life and Business and family and friends than housework.

Cherie is TOTALLY comfortable with Who She Is. She has made peace with herself, flaws and all, as a result of doing the Inner Work.

The bottom line is she believes that her Higher Power adores her beyond measure because she exists.

She also loves herself without conditions … she is her own best lover, friend and support person.

Cherie also believes that her true soul mate will adore her AS SHE IS.

She has decided there will be no more of the playing out of the beliefs “I am too much of that”, “Or not enough of that” in order to be loved.

Cherie is true to HER soul, her radiance and HER life and her loved ones adore that about her …

Because SHE does.

And she is RIGHT (we always are) …

Guess what?

Yep you may have guessed it …

Grant ALSO thinks housework is for paid housekeepers, and prefers to go out for meals.

He is THRILLED Cherie is NOT “domestic”. In fact, he’s been really uncomfortable being with “homebodies” in the past – because it is JUST not him!

(Are you getting the picture?)

It’s SO great when we get to this level of development, and not so great when we are nowhere near it yet.

Like so many other people (this is SOOO the awful human condition) The Core Beliefs of “Having To Earn Love” were sabotaging my life in so many ways.

I was always “in training” to be enough to be loved.

The relentless conditions on myself were insane.

I always had to look, be and do certain things just simply to earn a CRUMB of my own approval.

I was NOWHERE near loving myself “as I was”.

I was my own WORST persecutor.

No-one (including narcissists) had been so consistently and cruelly, judgmental, conditional, demanding or punishing as I had been to myself.

And … it didn’t stop there … it was not just about the relentless demands and expectations to always “do more” and “be better”, it was also the punishing addictions I had used to hurt myself with – including terrible relationships.

When I shifted out of these Core Beliefs of feeling “wrong” “punished” “defective” and even “bad” (so much shame) … and knowing there was NO condition for me to earn God’s or my own full love and acceptance, everything shifted for me.

All of a sudden, I was able to “be” instead of “do”.

I was able to feel internal warmth, connection and love for myself EVEN in times when things weren’t going well outside of me.

NO longer did I self-abandon and hurt myself … instead I was fully able to love and accept me and talk to myself with utter love, compassion, encouragement and support at any time I needed it.

My full dedication switched from addictions and self-annihilating inner dialogue to doing the work in my own body – to up-level – any time that I felt off-balance.

I CANNOT recommend sorting this out ENOUGH!!!

(Yep I’m calling it out from the rooftops …)

Because it is only DUE to our views of “having to earn love” that we are never at peace with ourselves

And then through these feelings we are stuck in a bottomless pit of trying to be “more” and then punish ourselves horribly when we don’t meet the never-to-be-reached mark.

It is only through the agony of “not enoughness” that we feel we are not loveable to others and have to prove ourselves constantly in order to be in relationships – including ones that are incredibly abusive.

If we all knew the truth at Quantum Level (God Particle Truth) that we are loved by All of Existence simply because we exit, unconditionally, regardless of our flaws … then we would start behaving (belief creates behavior) like we ere ENOUGH and LOVED.

We would grow, develop, love and expand WHILST feeling creative, inspired, loving and supported – rather than trying to do it under the HORRIBLE conditions of stress, fear and pain.

(If I don’t achieve a,b,c,d …. etc. I will NOT be accepted or loved.)

Then …

… we would stop judging everyone else’s flaw’s and holding conditions up to them regarding whether or not we love them.

And we would no longer damage our children and future generations with “conditional love”.

 

 

WORKSHOP EXERCISES

(Important message) **** Please note you will need to possibly only work one incident / emotion / belief through to conclusion – to REALLY do it thoroughly and have time to answer the questions on the blog in time.

You can go back to this template to keep working on all the False Beliefs you unearth at any time afterwards!

If you are a NARP Member simply go to the exercise After Exercise 7.

Okay this is simple … we repeat the process.

All you need to do is go to the questions 1- 7 above and start off with Question 1) “Take out your journal and ask yourself what are the times when you personally felt “not good enough to be loved as you are?”

And then simply follow the instructions on this Core Belief all the way through to Question 7.

Now … here are the instructions for NARP Members regarding these shifts:

Use the Goal Setting Module and set up “The Source Healing and Resolution of This” as your goal … in regard to “Not Being Good Enough To Be Loved As I Am”.

Target the charges of not being enough to be loved in your body and track to origin and clear with the QFH process until you reach a 10/10.

 

The Results of Workshopping these Two Core Beliefs

This is the beginning of incredible personal transformation – if you do this with love and fascination and NOT self-condemnation.

Simply by you unearthing a ton of subconscious debris – you have started to release it and heal it, as a result of making the unconscious conscious.

These powerful beliefs will loosen their hold on you, giving you room inside of you to create new beliefs and show up as SOMEONE ELSE.

You also have very real evidence about how by transforming you, you will in fact transform your entire life.

And that grants HOPE and PERSONAL POWER … tons of it!

No longer do you need to remain a powerless victim.

You may wish to journal about “How I DO need to show up NOW in order to generate something different.”

If this feels REAL for you … like you CAN do it – you are there – you have already experienced success in reprogramming your subconscious – otherwise it would NOT as yet feel possible.

If you have very painful and powerful beliefs and charges that feel “embedded”, and you are still not feeling the inspiration of how to deal with them and still don’t feel like you have broken through into new emotional trajectories, then you may wish to consider the BIG GUNS.

That is what Quanta Freedom Healing has proven to be for so many people – a superior subconscious shifting tool – hence why the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) has been so successful with creating unprecedented Thriver Recovery in this Community.

 

Now Join in For Your Chance to Win a Free MTE Course!

Okie dokie … now we are up to the part of answering the questions you will be posting on this blog!

**Please note the follow questions are relevant for NARP and non-NARP Members.

1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two?

2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.

3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?

 

Goodness phew, that was long!

But I know … ohhhh so worth it!!

I LOVE This stuff, and I love being able to hand you the tools that will revolutionize your Life from the inside out in ways that you did not know were possible until now!!

Truly … when you shift … EVERYTHING shifts and in ways that will confirm you have shifted.

Often … IMMEDIATELY.

I promise you!

And please know “shifting yourself” doesn’t need to be an obsession. It doesn’t all have to happen overnight … It can just be a lovely focus and healing in your own time (what is comfortable for you) that is going to change your Life beyond recognition – piece by piece by piece.

And we have only just started … can you IMAGINE what is going to happen in your Life when you start working the other Three False Core Beliefs as well?

Speaking of “lovely focuses” PLEASE don’t forget to get involved with Neale’s MasterClass … it is a HUGE part of all of this … granting massive awareness and tools to add to your tool-kit, and his information is integral to Core Belief work.

Soooo … Sign up here, there is only a few days left to!

Conversation With God – The 3 Secrets To Ending The Struggles And Making Your Life Work.

When you go onto Neale’s page, take some time to read the ASTOUNDING testimonies of Neale’s work and the endorsements he has received … and you will have no doubt regarding the incredible soul awakening this event will provide for you!

Now, just before I wrap this loooooong article up … I can’t tell you HOW MUCH I am looking forward to your posts and being able to share with you the results of the shifting of these Two Core Beliefs.

How EXCITING is it that we can do PROFOUND evolution as a collective together?

Pretty darn AMAZING!

Now just to remind you … please submit your answers to the three questions above, below in the comments section.

To be eligible for a FREE MTE Course of your choice (up to the value of $225.00) you must have completed your answers to this article and the next one (Part Three) by Sunday 10th July 10AM AEST.

And please know there is NO right or wrong .. you can write a lot of a little, you can remain anonymous … you can share deeply or not so much – whatever feels right for you!

**PLEASE NOTE: The answers to Questions 1,2,and 3 written below in the comments (not the actual Workshopping) is what is required for you to eligible for the draw for an MTE Course, and please write 1, 2 and 3 so that we can see you have!!

Got it?

I hope so, and please ask below about anything that may be unclear …

With the combination of this Workshopping and Neale’s Super-Class … SUPER BOOST in healing and evolution HERE we come!!

I look forward to your posts, comments and questions about this Workshopping beautiful peeps, and let’s have some incredible breakthroughs!!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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103 Thoughts on The Once Broken And Homeless Man Who Brought The Thriver Model To Life – Part 2
  • marijamalinic83@gmail.com'
    Marija
    July 3, 2016

    First of all thank you so much on all of this, it was just the thing I needed right now.
    I’ve worked this process on SEPARATION belief and it was huge AHA for me – some of the beliefsI incountered were : It’s not safe to be me, They will leave me if…, I must keep my both legs firmly on the ground, They feel happy when I feel bad, I am not allowed to stick out, I cannot achieve morethen them because thay will leave me…
    I’ve showed up by fiting in so I eouldn’t stick out, I tried to stay firmly on the ground and not expose any of my desires and wishes to other’s oppinions and judgements or their jelaousy, I avoided exoressing my ups and achievements… And it kept on ahowing me a years 5 so that’s whwn it all began
    OMG, what a relief bringing True Self to a visualization and prayer, I felt so loved and so light and I hold myself in hug after it all.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Marija,

      you are very welcome, and it’s wonderful this is great timing for you to engage in these Workshops.

      I am so pleased you received breakthrough and relief from doing this.

      Thank you for your share!

      Mel xo

  • annemariegreenberg@hotmail.com'
    Anne
    July 3, 2016

    Your email and blog has kept me strong through a traumatic separation with 3 young kids.
    My faulty briefs are that I’m not worthy of a man to emotionally connect with me. I show up by allowing this to continue despite my struggles for authentic one ruin. I left the work of connection at his feet hoping he would rise to the occasion. When finding my highest light, I realize that the stresses of work and kids make the energy required for deeper connection hard. I didn’t want routine life. I wanted deep intimacy that was missing from my childhood. Alas, it’s been brought to light through light!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Anne,

      Thank you for sharing your experience with the workshop.

      That is wonderful that you are already receiving profound realisations!

      If you do wish to be eligible for the Course please make sure that you do share about both Beliefs (clearly) and write 1,2,and 3 so that we do now you have it covered.

      Thank you!

      Mel xo

  • dfosso@yahoo.com'
    Don F
    July 3, 2016

    Dearest Mel,

    I knew this was coming straight from your Heart to ours! I haven’t even read this yet and I know what it is! Truly, I’ve been expecting this ever since I watched your intro webinar last year sometime.

    This is the opening salvo of the greatest liberation the planet has ever seen!

    Thank you Totally with Lots of Love

    Don

  • shawna.lee@ocdsb.ca'
    SLee
    July 3, 2016

    I personally feel ‘separation’ when I am at work and there is a communal staff room. I stay in my little office and do not venture into the staff room in fear of saying the wrong thing or in fear that i will be asked a personal question i am ashamed to answer.
    My incident is when I feel I am going to say the wrong thing and I feel it in this body part – the pit of my stomach. What I deeply feel about this is that I need to be perfect and that if I don’t have conversations with these people it will keep up the illusion that I am not broken.
    False beliefs: I am alone – I will never truly stay connected to anyone for a long period of time 9/10
    I am a mess inside – I will never truly feel self-confident 9/10
    I can’t think for myself – everyone else has the answers bit me 10/10
    I have clammed up and not had ‘real’ conversations with people because it feels awful to be vulnerable and then rejected. I always think other people have the answers but not me – I feel stuck. This part of me stems from childhood, starting with a narcissistic mother.
    I have felt for a long time that I was never good enough to be loved as I am due to toxic romantic relationships and the relationship with my mother. I was always made to feel I could not think for myself and I needed them to make myself whole.
    I realize that these beliefs are just fictions created in my mind and do not truly represent who I AM.

    I have become helpless at times, truly feeling lost as a person and that I needed toxic people in my life to function.

    It is incredibly freeing to release these false beliefs and to replace them with positive images of who I really am and that I have so much wonderful things to discover in myself. I am not defined by my experiences or the toxic people in my life.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi SLee,

      that is wonderful that you are receiving liberation and feelings of freedom already from these previous beliefs!

      Well done!

      In regard to belong eligible for the Free MTE Course, please not the actual Workshopping is not required, what is needed is the last three questions to be answered, to both Core Beliefs,
      and please write 1, 2 and 3 and that will make it known that you have submitted.

      Thank you

      Mel xo

      • shawna.lee@ocdsb.ca'
        SLee
        July 7, 2016

        My dearest Mel,
        Thank you so much for your response and guidance! My first thought to your response of setting out 1, 2 and 3 clearly was, here I went and messed up things again! Of course, I realize this has nothing to do with your response but comes solely as a result of my false beliefs that I am always making mistakes, and that makes me not good enough and that I have let another person down.
        This is exactly why I needed to go through theses exercises.
        What I found interesting is that in doing this exercise again, I came out with some additional thoughts.
        Here are my answers laid out hopefully in a clear manner:
        1) Some of the Faulty Beliefs my Inner Identity revealed to me in Regard to False Belief One and Two:
        False Beliefs:
        No matter how hard I try to connect with or please people, my efforts fail.
        In other words, I cannot connect with other people. I am alone.
        I have to put on a mask as to who I truly am, and try to morph myself into what I think others will want, because if I don’t, my true messed-up self will be revealed and exposed. Then I will not be truly loved.
        I am always messing things up – this means that I am a failure and unworthy of love
        If I am not perfect, I will let people down.
        I do not approve of myself or trust that I can make proper decisions. I cannot think for myself and need others to think for me.
        2) Here are the ways I have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”:
        I have clammed up and not had real conversations with people because I am so worried about either revealing too much about my crazy, soap opera- like past or saying something that will drive the person away. I am so worried about messing up that I am sometimes paralyzed and end up not taking action.
        I avoid the staffroom at work and have very superficial conversations with most people. I am scared to be vulnerable and then be hurt by others.
        I make a LOT of mistakes and continuously beat myself up for it – I am truly my OWN worst enemy. I go over the situation in my mind countless times and will torture myself with unhealthy beliefs about myself.
        3. Feelings after bringing in my TRUE SELF to replace where the False Beliefs were:
        It is an incredible feeling to release these false beliefs and to replace them with positive images of who I really am. I am very worthy and competent as a person and have so many wonderful things to discover in myself and to share with others. I am filled with love and I refuse to be defined by my experiences or by the toxic people in my life.
        I see light – a bright future filled with love and connectedness.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 8, 2016

          Hi Slee,

          You are very welcome! 🙂

          Isn’t it so amazing how we get triggered with our old patterns? How fantastic that you recognised it straight away, and that you are dedicated to doing the work on yourself!

          I LOVE that you are unravelling all of this, and you found some really key things when identifying your Beliefs, and great that you are connecting the dots regarding how you have been showing up.

          ALL of that is so empowering!

          I’m thrilled for you that for Core Belief Number 1 and 2 you have experienced such a shift! It’s TOTALLY gorgeous! 🙂

          Mel xo

  • jole.morton@gmail.com'
    Jole
    July 4, 2016

    1. A few of the false core beliefs I discovered were deeply embedded in me were abandonment, unworthiness, feelings of not belonging & confusion. These false core beliefs manifested themselves through thoughts such as – “I am unloveable/hard to love”, “I do not belong in this society/Earth”, “life is a struggle”, “have to work hard to make money”, “everything I love openly will be taken away from me”.

    2. These beliefs were made full-blown manifest in my last relationship. Since I was codependent, I manifested a relationship with a narcissist who I allowed to control me & use me. I failed to set clear boundaries & when I did it I felt as if I were at my breaking point & would communicate aggressively & offensively. Currently, I feel like a whipped puppy, ugly, bruised & like I am the crazy one & he is being rewarded for abandoning & betraying me. However, I realize that my behavior of “taking a back seat to others”, “hiding my light so I did not stand out or offend”, & “staying quiet instead of honoring & respecting my feelings” we’re all ways in which I sabotaged my inner holistic progress & emotional/spiritual development.

    3. I felt as if I was going to crack open after bringing in my true self to replace the areas where the false beliefs & traumas originally were. It was painful – I really felt like my heart was going to burst & I shed a copious amount of tears. I needed to scream it out (but I have an aversion to screaming as some part of me is still comfortable being uncomfortable). In conclusion, a few minutes after the prayer & release I felt a huge sense of calm. My heart & solar plexus chakra released the tension & anxiety that was there & I felt a deep sense of relief & like my new life is “possible/doable”. Although I don’t know exactly how I am going to go forward after being taken down to my knees after this relationship, I feel a sense of possibility & hope.

    Thank you for sharing your gifts with me & helping me heal.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Jole,

      thank you for your sharing and the wonderful laying out and answering of the questions.

      (Everyone this is how it needs to be done!)

      What a powerful start Jole to your self-partnering, that took great courage and self-devotion.

      You truly did stand up to the plate … and you have already sheds lots by doing so.

      Joel, if you haven’t as yet signed up for my free Webinar Group (next one) https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar, I would love you too, because there truly you will learn so much about HOW to do this work (this article series is only the beginning) in a fully incredible supportive environment with hundreds of people from all over the world, with me hands on in there every day.

      I promise you, by doing so you will have big breakthroughs.

      Again well done Jole, for meeting you, you are already on your way home … truly.

      Mel xo

  • nancijohnsen@gmail.com'
    Nanci
    July 4, 2016

    Thank you for your work Melonia,
    Abandonment came up for me, I believed I needed and angry aggressive man to take care of me Because I could not myself. this was an old belief I learned from my dad at a very young age. I ended up marrying a very angry aggressive man. Unloved, uneducated, unwanted, worthless by myself. This belief has played out in my life. What a horrible belief. I saw it as just that a self sabotaging belief . I now have the understanding its our beliefs am exciting for more awareness of them. this belief was in my stomach, and a heavy weight on my back. Thank you for work, I can see the spark of light and will continue to heal now, i am not scared to face it anymore

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Nanci,

      you are very welcome 🙂

      Thank you for your share, and it is wonderful to start having these realisations that can allow you to take your power back.

      Please know Nanci, if you do wish to be a part of the MTE draw, that you do need to answer the final Three questions in regard to both Core Beliefs, and also please lay them out as 1,2 and 3 so that we know you have answered them.

      Thank you!

      Mel xo

  • smartmomb1968@gmail.com'
    Martha Reilly
    July 4, 2016

    1)False core beliefs regarding the times when I personally feel “separation”: I can’t get through to people, people don’t matter to me and I don’t matter to them, love skirts and escapes me.
    False core belief regarding when I don’t feel good enough to be loved as I am: I have to bust my ass to be acceptable at all.
    2)ways I have showed up that generate these false beliefs: I am closed off, guarded in my posture, dissociate. I am relentless on myself.
    3)How I need to show up now: I need to feel safe inside myself. I need to feel entitled to learn

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      HI Martha,

      thank you for your submission, and wonderful you have got onto this – BOTH beliefs so quickly!

      That shows awesome dedication to yourself.

      Please note Question 3 was asking how you felt when you did the prayer or NARP Module ..

      Can you please write that in?

      Mel xo

  • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
    FLH
    July 4, 2016

    I am a Narp member but worked through all the steps as suggested.
    1 Some faulty beliefs identified:
    I am not wanted
    I am a reject
    I am alone and always will be.
    I am always excluded
    I am always abandoned.

    2. How I have been showing up that made these beliefs real .:
    I dont try rather than risk failing.
    I reject people before they get a chance to reject me.
    I stay under the radar and have learned how to shrink my aura so I am invisible to people.
    I get defensive and even aggressive when I feel threatened or challenged.
    I create obstacles and avoid social situations.

    After the prayer and bringing in the Light :

    I felt connected to a swirling cloud above me like a nebula,full of colours and lights.
    This came into me and filled me up.
    I felt my feet tingling and it flowed down through them deep into earths core.
    I then felt like a russian doll and all the me’s were filled with this energy and got larger and larger until I began to radiate it out to connect back to the nebula / source.

    I need a cup of tea now as I have to ground this properly as my head is a bit light!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi FLH,

      awesome work and thank you for laying out the 3 points!

      You have done such a fantastic job of total authenticity with the beliefs, and also “how you show up” – powerful stuff!

      Gorgeous you have had such a lovely shift. When you take this through the NARP Goal Setting Module you will be able to create an even bigger impact in your DNA!

      Mel xo

  • b-mail@shaw.ca'
    Brigit
    July 4, 2016

    This is so weird. I have such a resistance to wanting to look inside. Like there is something terribly wrong with me and that I am going to discover something horrible to be ashamed of. There is also another part of me that does not want to go there by myself. I want someone to hold my hand and do it with me, then tell me “how well I am doing” as we go along. Huge rejection of self possibly.
    I have grown up with a narcissistic father. Mr. Follow Me. I guess he instilled the belief in me that I can’t do it by myself. I never received any praise from him because he was the only one who did things well. I was also sent away at a very young age first to daycare then to a boarding school because no one had the time to support me. The adults were busy with the exception of my grandma. I was told that I could not make it by myself and was sent far away from my home town when I was 12. My grandma’s words are still ringing in my ears ” If you don’t want her, then I take her. I became an over achiever at boarding school so that I would not be sent back to my hometown as a failure and poured myself into my schoolwork. At age 16 we immigrated to Canada. Again no support. I felt like an alien. No wonder I was shy and insecure and the perfect target for a narcissist. 27 years and 3 children later, I finally left him after the pain of staying was so great I could not betray myself any longer. I am afraid to be alone because I feel I can’t do it by myself and afraid to be in a relationship because I do not want to hit replay with a narcissist. My ex narc is badmouthing me and spreading lies with my now children and friends and receives “5 stars and a diploma” by playing the poor victim trying to gain attention from the world. I am trying to prove to the world that I am a good person and am working overtime at it. I just want to shed some light on this and would appreciate any input you might have to get thru the wall inside.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Brigit,

      it is not weird at all. In fact it is incredibly common – the whole human experience has programmed us to NOT go inside.

      In fact it is terrifying for most people to “meet self” because of this …

      And you have described EXACTLY what the fear we have programmed with is … WE ALL had it.

      I had to nearly die to embrace and accept myself wounds and all and be “inside” with myself.

      And the crazy thing was as soon as I was determined to love and heal myself back to health my entire life transformed beyond recognition.

      That is also common wanting someone else to do it for us – wow – we nearly all did that! Seeking “parents” unconsciously instead of partners because we were still wounded children on the inside.

      And totally we certainly did not get “parents” we needed up with other adult wounded inner children.

      Brigit you have AMAZING awareness … you GET it. Brigit truly you are ALREADY self-partnering – because there is NO way you would have such honest self-knowledge unless you were. The only step now is to get the trauma out of your body so you can start healing. That truly is where NARP comes in … I really want you to check it out https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      Also please come into my next Free Webinar Group .. https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      There are so many resources in this Community if you dive in Brigit to get this healing done for you … 100%.

      Mel xo

  • martin.issima@hotmail.it'
    Lady Jedi
    July 4, 2016

    I have been working on these two beliefs with QFH in the past couple of months.

    1. For me, separation came out as the biggest core belief. “I don’t fit in the world”, “Others don’t understand me”, “I am fundamentally separated from Life and others”. I could phrase this in many ways, but mostly I pin pointed the feeling of it. The impact that had on my life is huge. As for the second belief, “I am not enough” is huge for me, but it comes out in a slightly different way. “I don’t know enough”. “I am not competent enough to support myself in life”, “I am not enough to be accepted by society as a worker”. Also, “I cannot make mistakes, I have to “get life right or I won’t survive nor be happy”. Which comes back to separation in many ways I guess.

    2. I am convinced all of this beliefs (and more) made my life experience so diminished and difficult, that relationships, and especially the narcisstic partner was a form of escapism for me. I stayed with him to feel “connected” to Life, Earth, the ground, to feel connected to my body, to feel connected to society. Because I believed he was the only source and opportunity for me to experience these things, and to experience an emotionally safe and comfortable life. He would also be a massive distraction for my feeling of “not being enough to be out there in the world”, because (ironically) he wanted me to only care about him and would be jealous of the rest of the world and punish me for my healthy attempts to grow up. Also, these two beliefs have stunted me immensely in developing my career, my creative practice and my social life.

    3. When I was able to replace these beliefs with source I experienced a feeling of connectedness and suspension of judgement. I immediately noticed that I was being more authentic and that people instead of leaving me out, were drawn to me. The physical sensation was that I felt “held”. I am also less scared of asserting myself and, even though I cannot feel connected all the time to the “outiside”, I feel much more connected to myself on a regular basis. I feel less and less separated from my own body and emotions and even though I am still not able to stop judging others, I am immensely more kind to myself than I used to be.

    Thanks Melanie. I’m gonna be honest with you. As a creature of doubt, I always second guess things and I rarely trust “gurus”. But you never act as a guru, you are incredibly open and authentic and I respect you so much and I trust you for that. NARP is one of the very few times in my life when my critical thinking and my feelings are on board with doing the same thing. It feels right both in the gut and in the brain.

    Sending you lots of love. I am very happy you are on my path xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Lady Jedi,

      That is so great you are working on these beliefs.

      Thank you for laying out the questions as 1,2,3.

      Yes these beliefs are quite connected – (in fact all the Core Universal Beliefs are).

      Great you can name them so accurately as you feel them in your body.

      Wow – I SO relate – I also believed the N was the only way I could be in Life!

      I know a lot of other people will relate – you have done really well in identifying this.

      How gorgeous you felt in the shift the “connectedness” and I love that you said a
      “suspension of judgement”.

      I adore the rest that you have felt and reported! This is wonderful!

      Lady Jedi I adore honesty, so thank you for that, and I agree 100% re the “guru” thing.

      We are ALL equal. I love Neale’s take on this – “a true Master is only so because of his/ her ability to generate more Masters.”

      I agree with this wholeheartedly.

      I am so happy you are on this path with me too Lady Jedi! 🙂

      Mel xo

  • martin.issima@hotmail.it'
    Lady Jedi
    July 4, 2016

    I just wanted to ask you one more question because of the separation beliefs .

    These days, after noticing a clear improvement in my own life experience, I suddenly got extremely triggered by world events (not only terrorism, but the general political atmosphere of wanting to create separation), which set me back. I have always been very triggered by these things, and politics (in his wider and highest meaning) is very important to me. I am strongly convinced of the interconnectedness of politics, emotions and spirituality (Star Wars is a perfect metaphor of this 😉

    A part of me wants to take action and have an active role in changing the collective, as apparently I “feel” the collective very much and it comes out very much in all my shifts (mass migrations and grief, mass persecutions, systemic oppression and repression, mass deception). At the same time, I see that anti-movements don’t work and I understand that I am not ready to take action because I have my own trauma of separation to work through.

    I wish I could support, create and serve pro-movements, based on QFH-like principles and arts. What is the best way to do this, overcome my judgement of “the evil” and my terrible fear of being a target if I stand up for Love? Is my desire and sense of mission in making an impact an healthy thing, or I am in crisis consciousness trying to “fix the world”?! Or both?! What are the beliefs I should tackle and how should I take care of myself in this process? I would love to hear your insights on this step of my journey.

    Much love, LJ

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 4, 2016

      Hi Lady Jedi,

      Sure I am happy to answer that …

      YES 100% shift out all the triggers of “pain”, “evil”, “fear” … that is TOTALLY what I did … and then our energy is based on Inspiration and Creation – NOT fear / pain which only adds to the Problem and CAN’T generate the Solution.

      You truly had answered your own question LJ.

      Always address “emotion first”, your own level of Beingness BEFORE doing – and then your doing will aways reflect your Highest Beingness.

      Mel xo

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    July 4, 2016

    Hi Angele,

    Thank you for your share, and it’s wonderful how powerful you’ve connected with your self and the information you gained from your Inner Being.

    You are so ready for this work – and to heal!

    You have worked through this beautifully!

    Angele in order to participate in the MTE draw can you please simply answer the last three questions and have them as 1,2 and 3 … so that we can decipher for the draw.

    It was all there! Yes … but we are going to have a LOT of submissions before the time has elapsed, and we do need to read what we asked for.

    That is so wonderful that you released emotions and cried, that is an awesome confirmation that you deeply connected to yourself at Soul Level.

    This happens to me regularly when I am shifting BIG inner stuff, and I love it …

    Keep doing what you are doing – you are doing great!

    Oh and Angele you are SO welcome, it is my absolute pleasure to be able to help you heal.

    Mel xo

  • anisajin@hotmail.com'
    J
    July 4, 2016

    Seperation Beliefs

    1. a) Fear of abandonment
    b) Feeling left out
    c) Unworthy

    2. a) Mother repeatedly leaving and returning, threatening to leave as a young child. I felt very unsafe in intimate relationships like a bomb was going to drop on me anytime whenever I noticed detachment.

    b.) I found myself not committing to social events, hence manifesting the left out feeling I started out with- self fulfilling.

    c.) Good at working for other people, can’t seem to gain success on my own. I see others succeed
    even with less experience. Safer to feel small, showing up as apathy.

    3.) Feeling release and comfort, lighter energetically, and tingling in feet. Sense of being more grounded and need to breath.

    Thank you 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 5, 2016

      Hi J,

      that is so great you processed this through – well done!

      Fantastic you felt the shift at the end!

      Now – just on to – the “I’m Not Enough …” Belief ..

      Mel xo

      • anisajin@hotmail.com'
        J
        July 5, 2016

        I’m not enough to be loved as I am and I have to earn love belief:

        Mother reminders since childhood that sons are preferable over daughters; non-acceptance, felt invisible. Comments like “this is where you would need a son would to do this”, “sons are better”.

        The narcopath, elevating me in conversation during separation of no contact yet in reality I was never acknowledged. Just as in childhood I was largely ignored and never praised. Helping the narcissist without credit, bankrupting my soul. Not loving myself nor self-care during that process.

        In both examples, I never felt loved or accepted, rather like an outcast or black sheep false beliefs were developed.

        I re-did the prayer and new awareness developed, another connect to the replay of programs. Thank you.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 8, 2016

          Hi J,

          thank you so much for posting this ….

          Just to be fair and succinct to the draw, and include you – can you share in ways you were showing up that confirmed the “not enough” stuff ..

          Question 1 and 3 are covered …

          Thanks 🙂

          Mel xo

  • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
    Mette Mulbjerg
    July 4, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    I am a narp member and need some help understanding the exercizes. I do not understand how to put in the above exercize sinto the goal setting module. You say we have to do “separation” from: a, b, c, d in separate entities. Does this mean I have to do the hole module this many times on each area over and over?
    I could really need some more guidence doing the healing modules as I often get confused if I am understanding/working it correctly, again probably the language barriere, so much information to get right. It often takes me out of the shifts using my thougths instead trying to work it out, not being able to surrender to the healing.
    Soooo, can you please help me by explaining it more in detail?

    Thank you, much love from Mette <3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 5, 2016

      Hi Mette,

      Sure, I am happy to help …

      Yes, to clean this up properly … a Goal Setting Module on each category is important. But this can be a work in progress. It is not necessary to do this in the next week … Just take on the “Separation” that feels (for now) the most painful for you in regard to a) b) c) d) for the MTE draw if you wish.

      Mette are you in the NARP Forum? Because that is exactly what it is designed for – to help Members with ANY questions or support that is required, at any time from Thrivers and Moderators for all over the world.

      If you have not signed up as a NARP Member here are the details here:

      https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps Mette.

      Mel xo

      • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
        Mette Mulbjerg
        July 5, 2016

        Thank you, I will take my questions about the healing modules in generel to the forum to figure out my barrieres.
        Regarding this exersize I still do not fully get it and how many times I have to go through the goal setting module, but I will try.
        I somehow feel it is something in my mind blocking to avoid/postpone and I am dertermined to overcome this!

        Thank you for helping, much Love Mette

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 8, 2016

          Hi Mette,

          for sure we can deeply dive into this more specifically in the NARP Forum with you …

          Mel xo

  • sharabb99@hotmail.com'
    Healingpath
    July 5, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    Thank you for your wonderful gift the NARP program which has being my surrender to having enough of the same old pattern beliefs.

    1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two? Struggling with abandonment, rejection, not feeling safe, not supported, feeling inadequate.
    2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
    2) Feeling very cautious, anxious, rescuer, fixer, overcompensate with my young children, analyse everything, running on auto pilot, overwhelmed, chronic fatigue and
    autoimmune disease(fibromyalgia).
    3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
    3) After the NARP module shift I felt a breakthrough liberation feeling of connection within my inner being to the little me and feeling good enough to be loved, it will be great to reach the ultimate healing goal of being your true self such as confident, authentic, and having healthy boundaries.

    Best wishes and lots of love
    from
    Healingpath xxxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 5, 2016

      Hi Healingpath,

      I am so pleased you have surrendered into working with NARP to help free you from faulty beliefs, and please know it is my absolute pleasure 🙂

      Thank you for laying out Questions 1,2 and 3 and I am so thrilled for you that you have felt a lovely shift!

      Mel xo

  • Harringtona@ymail.com'
    Angela
    July 5, 2016

    My fault emotions have been going on what seems like forever- although I can’t remember most of my childhood! Feelings from my childhood that have continued into adulthood are: abandonment, betrayal, not being good enough, my feelings aren’t valid, and I’m not lovable float to the top of the list.

    My pattern has been to keep trying to do more, become better- try endlessly to the point of victimization to fix a bad situation rather than “trust” it is not good for me and love myself enough to leave- knowing I am still good enough- the situation is toxic and I can’t change it.

    Besides still reeling from the NARC of almost three years ago- I am now dealing with the same stuff with a work situation!! I stayed to the point of being victimized- joining my captures, rather than acknowledging I am good enough and this is a no win situation! I have now HAPPILY lost my job and am celebrating my release – realizing I should have partnered with myself and left, rather then partnering with the toxic, negative, hostile people in my environment and joining them by punishing myself just as they were!

    I’ve had several brain injuries over my life time- mostly from car accidents. This new mindset and being able to work through these things was not possible until I started doing NeuroFeedback! Now my mind is cooperating (for the first time) with my true desires! The treatments have given me the power to adjust my brain- where I didn’t have the power before due to the injuries!!!! Thus, although I just lost my job and income- I’m able to count it as a blessing!! Rather then focus on the financial devistation that would’ve consumed with with no income or support system! Praise God- from whom all blessings come!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 5, 2016

      Hi Angela,

      that is wonderful that you have been unravalling what is really going on, and been able to find a solution to help overcome your brain injuries.

      Bless and fabulous that you are now out, and accepting it as a blessing, and wishing you a wonderful further recovery and the beginning of your Beautiful Life.

      Mel xo

  • sara.bioquimica@gmail.com'
    Sara T
    July 5, 2016

    1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two?

    Core Belief One- I read this article just after my “separation” belief had been trigered. I tried to call someone to ask for a favour and she turned off the phone! She had already done that once before, so I felt very sad and thought “nobody cares about me”. So it was very easy to go deep in this excercise. My other separation beliefs are :
    “There are no good people in the world”
    “Nobody wants me”
    “Nobody understands me”
    “I am better off alone”
    “Relationships hurt too much”

    Core Belief Two – “Ask yourself what are the times when you personally felt “not good enough to be loved as you are?”” – I asked myself but I got nothing. Just silence. I really can’t think of a recent example where I didn’t feel good enough to be loved. I don’t have a very active inner critic. I am usualy very compassionate with myself and others.
    Many years ago I used to feel I “had to” do all these things in order to be “good enough” and relax. But then I got very ill and I simply could not do these things I “should” be doing. I had to learn to just accept that.
    And I found that after I lost all the “doing” that I thought was me and all I could do many days was stay in bed in horrible physical pain, that there was a deeper me inside that was who I really was and is lovable just because she exists, like every other human being.
    Maybe it is really buried that I feel unlovable. I don’t know. I tend to think I am not unlovable, but I am unloved because people in our culture are not conscious enough to love unconditionaly. They want me to be something I am not or do things I don’t want to do in order to love me. But I don’t want to do this. I try never to do things just to please other people, but only when it comes from my heart and the joy of giving.

    2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.

    Core belief One – I see I am scared of how people will react to me, so a lot of the time I don’t even try to talk to people (this part of me is 6 months). If I make a connection with anyone and they later do something that upsets me I tend to pull away and stop making an effort to continue the relationship (this part of me is 1). I try to be honest and true to myself when interacting with people, but if I see they seem to disaprove of what I am saying with their facial expression or tone of voice, I give up pretty quickly trying to connect with this person (this part of me is 6).

    3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?

    I feel the possibility of something new in my life. A sense of peace and centerdeness.
    I was able to let go of the idea that the woman I called was regecting me and just let it be. Later I found she was having a birthday party for her son, that was why she didn’t answer.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 5, 2016

      Hi Sara,

      Wow Sara you have done SO well in identifying these separation beliefs – powerful work!!

      And FABBO you had already had you shift in regard to “Not Being Enough”, and what you went though makes incredible perfect sense how you had already taken the gift of that transformation previously.

      I agree it sounds like the beliefs regarding YOU being loveable are sorted, yet there is work to be done on YOUR beliefs of the CAPACITY of others to love.

      Fabulous how you have identified the parts of you that have been co-generating Belief Number 1.

      Awww GORGEOUS regarding your shift – and I LOVE how Life lines up to confirm the existence of the SHIFT – such as you hearing about the birthday party.

      You are SO on your way Sara.

      Well done and thank you for laying this out so succinctly!!

      Mel xo

      • sara.bioquimica@gmail.com'
        Sara T
        July 5, 2016

        Thank you Mel for your comments.

        It was very helpful this you wrote “there is work to be done on YOUR beliefs of the CAPACITY of others to love.” – I never though of it that way, but it that is exactely it!

        I believe other people are not capable of true love, not for me or for anyone else! I need to shift this so that I can embrace the love that exists in the world.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 6, 2016

          Hi Sara,

          you are so welcome 🙂

          And I promise you the relief and shift you will find on the other side of this will be Life Changing!

          Yep – correct, totally … you will be able to accept and have the love you desire!

          Go shift that!!!

          Mel xo

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    July 5, 2016

    Hi Bondon,

    Wow … fantastic work in getting down to the CORE of the “Separation”.

    And huge … re “not Being Enough…” this is exactly what so many people have taken on …

    It’s SO great for you to express it here.

    And fabulous recognition about what these beliefs were generating in you Life.

    Awwww I am SO THRILLED Bondon that you are recovering your Lost Self … that is incredibly beautiful 🙂

    Bondon, from the bottom of my heart please know you are so welcome, and you sharing in my wellness of evolution and expansion is the greatest repayment of all to me.

    This work grants me such joy every day, and please know today you have added to that immensely!!

    I love what you have expressed in your post – it is so succinctly written, regarding how we MUST go within to truly BE ourselves … to FIND and actualise that key that unlocks our True Self.

    Bless you Bondon.

    Mel xo

  • Magdalenarte@gmail.com'
    Magda
    July 5, 2016

    Reply to part 2
    First, thank you for these questions. They have forced me to see parts of myself that I have preferred to brush aside and ignore (probably more correct to say that I was taught to ignore years ago). I didn’t expect to cry so much, it has been so insightful. Thank you, Mel.

    1) There have been many times in my life where I have not felt good enough to be loved and accepted as I am. My parents were pleased to have their children neither seen, nor heard. I see now that I was taught/trained to live in fear. Separateness feels very scary and lonely when one is a child, later in life it feels confusing as well. At age 17, I became pregnant. I remember telling myself, “At least I won’t feel lonely with a baby.” In my thirties I started a new relationship, and at 37 I had my second child. If I am honest, I was feeling very lonely and isolated in the relationship, the baby gave the relationship purpose. Fast forward 15 years in the relationship: we have lived in four different countries and nine different homes. I have homeschooled my soon to be 12 year-old daughter for most of those years. The experience has been isolating. I have endured anxiety attacks, have cried, have wanted to end my life, have tried to explain my loneliness to my husband who, in the past, has tried to be reassuring. He’s had a lot of soothing words, but has never shown interest in me, expect in a patronizing way. Finally, last summer he told me he was leaving me for someone else, (an ex-student of his, he’s an academic). He gave me one hundred reasons for not wanting to be with me, among them was that I didn’t show enough interested in his research! The following day my daughter and I stayed with friends who told me to speak to my daughter calmly and honestly and to make the separation easy on her. That night my husband came home and we spoke all night, we agreed that we would spend the following day (Sunday) together as a family, which apparently his lover didn’t appreciate, she dumped him later that day. So, in the end, he never left. I know his ex-student/lover, so I feel double betrayed. But, I have to be honest and say that I feel betrayed by myself. For most of my life, I haven’t listened to my heart, I have chosen to live from fear.
    2) The betrayal was felt in my chest. Months after the betrayal, I woke up with a lump in my left breast. At the hospital I was given a biopsy that turned into a hematoma, which in turn became infected. I knew a long that my physical condition was the result of my anger and hurt. I only rested from these negative emotions while asleep. During my waking hours, all I could only see was rage, confusion and regret. The lump and hematoma were a wakeup call and in my search for answers I came across Melanie (thank you Mel!) on youtube. I have learned so much. Yes, I have lots to uncover, but now I am hopeful. My biggest concern is that I don’t teach my daughter to live from fear. I need to shift, to change, to be all that I can be, for myself and for her.
    3 and 4) The feeling is of unworthiness, of needing to figure things out on my own because no one cares, of needing to shut my emotions down because I’m not worth any ones time and trouble — I rate this false believe at 10/10.
    5) I show up with a lot of anger and tears. I shield myself behind anger. I’m fearful of not being loved. I demand love, like a child demanding her parents attention with a crying fit (ugh, how embarrassing).
    6) I think this feeling is ancient in me. I have never been able to speak up for myself properly. Sometimes, I don’t know what the hell it is I want. I can’t seem to thrive, ever, because something in me says I’m not good enough, not worthy, I’m confused and scared.
    7) Thank you Mel for this prayer! I want to release all traumas that keep me from thriving. I have a right to live the best life I can imagine. I want to break free from the chains of unworthiness once and for all, I know deep in my heart I have wanted this forever, as far back as I can recall. I have lots to offer, so damn it, what keeps me back! I must take a deep breath. I must be confident that Life will provide me with guidance and answers. Thank you Melanie for all your work. I have much love and respect for you and your team.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 6, 2016

      Hi Magda,

      you are very welcome 🙂

      I am so pleased you have now connected to you!

      Magda you have done so well with this, truly you are ready to heal … it is your time, and please know (yes it feels embarrassing) but how we are showing up is not as our True Self, and of course a wounded child, given what she has gone through would act EXACTLY like that … I promise you so many of us (myself included) have acted in UNTHINKABLE ways when we have been triggered into young unresolved wounds.

      I am so thrilled that you worked this all the way through to the prayer Magda … and that you really WANT to heal.

      A couple of things …

      Please just make sure that you answer the questions 1,2,3 at the end of the blog (it is the format for the Free MTE Course Draw) and also I would love you to join me in my next Free Workshop Group – because truly I know it’s your time …

      And I’d love to help you powerfully break free.

      Mel xo

      • Magdalenarte@gmail.com'
        Magda
        July 6, 2016

        Oh dear! I got so involved, I missed the 3 questions! Thanks for pointing this out. Thank you for being such an angel!

        1) Faulty Believes:
        I’m a coward/low self esteem/fearful.
        I’m intellectually faulty.
        Unforgiving.
        Financial burden.
        Not deserving to live my fullest potential (thrive!)
        Can’t bother others with my emotional pain.
        Everyones dreams, desires and needs come first.
        Physically faulty.

        2) COWARD: Had I acted my on intuition, I would have ended my 15 year relationship long ago. But I was afraid of financial hardship, afraid of being a single mother for a second time. The truth is, when I was a single mother to my first child, I learned and grew so much, but something happened to me, I became afraid, cowardly and always had excuses for not thriving.
        INTELLECTUALLY FAULTY: I don’t like to socialize with my husbands academic colleagues. In their conversations, they usually refer to well known intellectual works, which I know nothing of and so feel dumb and left out. I’m terrified of looking dumb. In college, my professors often asked me to participate more in the class discussions. They’d tell me I had lots to offer, but I never talked in class, no, I was to afraid of saying the wrong thing, of being challenged for my believes.
        UNFORGIVING. My husband always tells me I hold grudges and don’t know how to say ‘I’m sorry.’ I don’t feel like apologizing to him for anything; hmm, my mother use to say this too. Maybe I don’t apologize because I don’t think they deserve my apology. Maybe, when I hurt my husband (like when I yelled ‘I hate you’ in his face for what seemed like five minutes) I do it because he deserves to know how I feel. If I need to forgive anyone it’s myself! I need to forgive myself for being so hard on myself.
        FINANCIAL BURDEN: I haven’t worked since my daughter was born. I always worry that I need to earn my keep, so I clean, cook, wash — I feel like the freakin’ housekeeper. I don’t get new things for myself, always buy secondhand clothes, and I don’t buy myself underclothes until I desperately need it. Right now the elastic on my underwear is so loose! Sometimes I hide some change in my pocket so that I can sneak a chocolate bar! What’s wrong wrong me!!!? I act like an indentured servant!
        NOT DESERVING TO LIVE MY FULLEST POTENTIAL/THRIVE:
        I don’t know what’s keeping me. I write, but never look for publishing opportunities. I’m painting again (after 10 years) but never look for ways to sell/exhibit work. I have a Facebook page with some of my art work, it’s been there since 2011 and only yesterday did I feel like I could invite some people to Like it. I was very careful to ask only those who would definitely Like. In the past, I have sabotaged relationships where I have been treated like a smart, creative person. I ended relationships that would have helped me thrive. And instead, I put myself in a relationship where I was left on the back burner — not seen, not heard.
        CAN’T BOTHER OTHERS WITH MY EMOTIONAL PAIN: No one can possibly help me. I’m always playing the strong one. How embarrassing to ask for emotional support. No, I have to figure it out myself. When my husband was going to leave me and I had to seek help from my friends, I was embarrassed. I was hurt (dying, actually), but still trying to play the strong woman. I was more interested in narrating to my friends how I had threatened to break my husband’s laptop if he didn’t give me his lover’s phone number; and how I called her and told her off, and shared the details of my heated exchanged with her. It was easier to talk about that then to show my ugly fear. In friendships, I become the one friends run to when they are in emotional shambles. I really care, it hurts me to see anyone going through pain, I do my best to help them see how wonderful they are. So, emotionally strong for everyone, and not available for myself, unable to tell me how wonderful I am — right.
        EVERYONE’S DREAMS, NEEDS AND DESIRES COME FIRST: Oh my God! After my husband betrayed me, told me he was leaving me, but never left, I set out to fix him. Never mind that I was left emotionally broken — no, no time for me. I began to read all about the male mid-life crisis, bought him books on the subject, found him a therapist, got him books on mindfulness, got him a couple of books on how to spice up our sex life (he had complained that our sex life was too routine) and in-between all of this, I was having fits of rage, physically attacking him, exhausting myself with hate for him. And then one morning, I woke up with a lump on my breast.
        PHYSICALLY FAULTY: My mother made it very clear that her first born daughter was the beautiful daughter (not me). I’ve always brushed this aside, but it must be there. My husband is always looking at beautiful woman. Beside not being my mother’s standard of beauty, there is the issue of skin tone as well. My mother has fair skin, I have my father’s brown tone. She always told me I was too dark. I never worried about my skin color so much as when I liveed in the UK, 2007 —08. We lived in the midlands and I stood out for looking different. I was very self conscious. During that year, I developed dark spots on my cheeks. I have always suspected that I created those spots with my negative thoughts and worries about my skin. In April of this year, I visited my family in California, after 7 years! After the first week there, I began to see all the defects on my face. I began to take on the role of the ugly duckling! I’m not ugly! But, it all came back to me and I started to see only ugly.

        3) So many false believes! I’m rather shocked at how I have behaved all these years. I had to do all this focused work to finally see myself — my false self — the badly programmed me. I have so much work to do! Oh, my God! The first shift came months ago, after first discovering your videos, Mel. I was deep in victim mode. Then I heard you say, don’t focus on the narcissist. So I stopped focusing on him, and tried to focus on myself, and for the first time in months, I felt I had some control of my life. But writing it down makes a big difference. The more I look over what I have written, the better I see the traumas handed down to me by my parents — this is an inheritance I don’t want! I knew this clearly as a teenager. I rejected my parents intuitively and ran away from home at age fifteen. But the traumas from their childhoods where already ingrained in me, I couldn’t run away without bringing them along as well. While I was answering the questions, I thought, “Wow, I spend so much time on others and none on me”. But actually, this is false. I have spent so much time and energy on the hurt me, trying to protect the hurt me, spinning my wheels and getting no where! It’s kind of been a part time job — that’s a lot of time trying to hide something that needs to be discarded. I need to treat myself like a best friend. What advice would I give a friend with a list like mine! I need to be my best friend (Partnership!!!) My true self wants to shine! My true self says, bring on the work of healing! It’s all good! It’s just begun! I’m so happy that you shared Neale’s work. I had never heard of him and now I’m excited about doing this work and reading his book! Thank you Mel, from the bottom of my heart I say, YOU ARE SO AWESOME!!!!

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 8, 2016

          Hi Magda,

          Ohhh you are so sweet, and it’s my pleasure.

          Magda you have done a great job in identifying the painful beliefs and how they are limiting you in how you showed up.

          In so many ways, truly, what you are describing about financial hardships can be deeply embedded DNA … we take it on on ancient levels in our DNA from forebears as a result of the trauma they experienced with “survival”, and it can be very hard to shake until we energetically shift it.

          I know of many people who have been afflicted with this, and once it’s up-levelled their finances and freedom really start to generate.

          Also the reasons why you don’t want to “shine” or risk “failure” could also be very, very deep programs in your subconscious.

          It’s almost like the fear “I was be annihilated if people think (or find out) I am a “fake”. (This is another common belief that so many NARPers over the years have found and heal.

          And wow, wow Magda, one after the other … you are doing so well with these – your are deeply connecting to your Inner Being – you are SO ready to heal and do this work!

          I am so pleased Magda that you had made that conscious choice to get your focus off him, and put your dedicated love and support into yourself and as a result are starting to get your power back!

          So true Magda that by 15 we are programmed, it happened up till 7-8 when we starting coming out of theta brainwave – before then every message wedged in our subconscious as “true”.

          And I love the awareness you stated about spending so much time with yourself – but getting nowhere.

          Many people think it takes TOO much time and effort to self-develop – BUT how much time and energy does it really take – “spinning our wheels” when we don’t?

          I ADORE that you are entering a partnership with yourself …

          Bless you Magda you are ON your way, and I am so pleased you are here!!!

          Mel xo

  • bluebelvandenberg@gmail.com'
    Bluebel
    July 6, 2016

    Dear Mel,

    First of all, thank you so much for this wonderful boost! I am a NARP member and, although I have tried a few modules there, this article really pushed me in the right direction. It has inspired me to continue with my work on the modules as I’m really starting to see how important this all is.

    I have been carrying around a lot of childhood wounds so it seems. Working on False Core Beliefs One and Two brought up these in particular: I am unfulfilled in life / people don’t appreciate me / I am unlovable / people don’t listen to me / I am misunderstood / I am unable to get through this / I am too sensitive / I have reached my limit / no one is there for me / I have nothing going for me / I am never good enough / I haven’t achieved enough / no one can help me / I have nothing to show. Quite a long list to begin working on!

    In working through question 5 for each belief it became really clear to me how I’ve been showing up in negative ways that really perpetuate my reality. It’s kind of mind blowing and I can only thank you for opening up my eyes. I’ve been pushing people away / ignoring calls and emails / making myself unavailable / avoiding eye contact, especially with men / dressing down and in baggy clothes so that I don’t get noticed / being distrustful towards many people, including those closest to me / avoiding getting to know new people / moving cities and countries (on several occasions) / not asking for help / spending a great deal of my time alone / avoiding events and cancelling plans last minute. I even create tension at home unnecessarily (but almost involuntary), which I always feel guilty about but can’t seem to stop. It’s been exhausting but now I’m really beginning to understand why.

    Bringing in my True Self to replace where the False Beliefs were was very emotional but, weirdly, comforting. I completed the exercise in a really committed and meaningful way and I felt that the visualisation part you talked about was integral to the process of letting go rubbish / bringing in light: picturing myself at the specific ages (from photos that I remember and know were taken at that age) and imagining cuddling her throughout the prayer really helped me to engage with her as I/she felt then. Something really strange happened too…it was like a tiny little sensation in my mind that was a really small version of the part where you ‘fall’ to sleep…like a mini fall at the front of my forehead, somewhere in my brain. It happened twice and was a bit surreal (and may sound crazy to someone reading this!) but I genuinely feel a bit lighter after finishing.

    When I first read your work over a year ago I found it hard to wrap my head around some of the concepts, but now I’m really starting to grasp what Quanta Freedom Healing is all about and trust in the process.

    Love and luck to everyone involved…I’m looking forward to continuing the journey with you all. And thank you again Mel!! We’re lucky to have you 🙂

    Bluebel x

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    July 6, 2016

    Hi Bluebel,

    I am so pleased this article helped inspire you – yes the work is SO important because it cuts out years and decades (or lifetimes) of struggle!

    You are so welcome 🙂

    This is fantastic that you have unearthed the beliefs and connected the dots about what has REALLY been going on for you.

    I am so pleased you felt the comfort … and it is true that when we do get a Shift that the most amazing things can happen – like the sensations you described.

    This is SO great – and I am really thrilled for you that you had this breakthrough!

    Please know that when you surrender into the NARP Program with the understanding that has now clicked in for you – the shifts at Quantum DNA level will be even more powerful.

    And also know it is a great idea Bluebel to be in the NARP Forum to receive guidance, connect and have answers to any questions you may have.

    That would be a lovely exercise for you ongoing as you are now healing beliefs regarding “connection / support”.

    https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

    Keep up the great work Bluebel, and thank you for answering the three questions!

    Mel xo

    • bluebelvandenberg@gmail.com'
      Bluebel
      July 10, 2016

      Wonderful Mel, thank you so much for your meaningful reply.

      I have learned a great deal this week, about myself and others, and…well…the universe! I will take your advice and connect more in the NARP forums, especially now that I have had this boost and don’t feel so much the need to ‘hide away’.

      I’m going on a well deserved holiday in a couple of days, to the mountains for some lovely fresh air – I will be able to reflect there on my progress and will very much look forward to continuing my self-work in the modules on my return.

      With love and best wishes, Bluebel x

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        July 10, 2016

        Hi Bluebel,

        it’s my pleasure 🙂

        I am so happy for you that you have grown so much this week!

        That is fantastic that you will be coming into the NARP Forum now …

        Enjoy your mountain holiday Bluebell, it sounds Divine!

        Mel xo

  • mowalker6@gmail.com'
    So very grateful
    July 6, 2016

    I never cry. But when I do these healing modules I cry. I finally permit myself to feel my feelings and understand their roots. I weep out my pain, I breath in love and light. I feel connected to source in the moments of prayer; of asking higher power to take away the painful beliefs and fill in the space with light. I feel connection to source with the light that rises above me indefinitely and down my spine. Hugely and finally: connected.
    I can appreciate that many people were brought up with religious beliefs – but many also were not. I was not. I love this healing because I feel connected to something un-nameable but deeply known and felt and universal. Amen.
    I really appreciate your all-inclusive terminology in your writing with regards to the higher power and our one-ness. Universality is yours, and I am touched.
    If I answer the three questions my answer will be echoes of all those above; I keenly feel for all who have shared their stories. Their stories are mine too. This open gateway for sharing truths is immensely powerful.
    I am a Narp member and also am biding my time to do the ‘Self-Empowerment’ course – I don’t wish to be part of the draw. I’m deeply encouraged in my life to know of a community such as this.
    Thank you Melanie – I’m so inspired by your dedication and energy – touching souls the world over – and making a momentous healing difference to mine.
    xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 7, 2016

      Hi SVG,

      what you have written is so beautiful, and I am incredibly happy that you are connecting with you – in this way – at the level of your soul.

      It is very true SVG that when you clear enough space to receive that connection – you just KNOW you have received it.

      There is no missing it …and it is cellularly so remembered by us as “home”.

      That is wonderful that NARP has resonated with you so powerfully and shifted you so much.

      Thank you for your lovely words to me … and for your gorgeous acknowledgement to others.

      You are so welcome … SVG and thank you so much for your beautiful post.

      Bless you!

      Mel xo

  • frannybeazer@hotmail.com'
    Franny
    July 6, 2016

    Thank you Melanie These exercises are very helpful for me. I feel closer to Source. I’m starting to feel I am a part of Source. 1.)- These are some faulty beliefs that came up for me in regards to Core Beliefs one and two.( For number one “Separateness”)… : I feel alone and small…. : I feel separate and closed off…. : I feel undeserving of love…. : Life seems desolate…. : I feel blocked from Source.( For number Two ” We are Loved and accepted by our higher power, Source and ourselves , simply by the fact that we exist”)………. I somehow don’t deserve love….. : I am different, therefore something must be askew with me ……. I am unworthy….. : I may be generationaly cursed….. : I need to earn love.
    2.) These False beliefs that I’ve made real in my life, showed up like * I am shy often. * I close myself off from people because I have trust issues, * I don’t know my true self enough.* I isolate myself. *I have hesitant confidence. * I feel ignored, *I feel unappreciated often.* I don’t appreciate myself enough.- 3.) Bringing in my true self made me feel a lot more connected to Source. Thanks much! <3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 7, 2016

      Hi Franny,

      You are very welcome … and that is so wonderful that you are starting to feel connected to Source!

      Thank you for posting your answers, and you have done a great job in processing this through!

      And I love what you identified – you are BANG on in the unravelling and healing of this – you REALLY did get to your core truths.

      Fabulous that you are feeling more connected as a result!

      You are doing so well Franny!

      So looking forward to your answers for the next 3 Core Beliefs!

      Mel xo

  • dawn.stonecottage@gmail.com'
    Dawn
    July 6, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    I am a NARPer (thank you, by the way) and have unearthed some shocking core beliefs during that process in the last few weeks.

    1. In this particular exercise, some of the core beliefs were:

    I must camouflage myself in order to be approved of = in order to survive
    It’s better to be a nobody, because to have an identity in the world is time-consuming, exhausting and involves conflict
    I must not be better than my siblings/partner as it will upset the equilibrium for them
    I will turn into my mother whether I like it or not (she was a victim) ie I cannot change my genes

    2. In life, I have worked in industries where I always exhausted myself serving/pandering to an insatiable spoilt brat customer impossible to please
    In partners I attracted emotionally unavailable/womanizing/cold/addiction-prone men
    I have kept my talents “secret”, avoided embracing them, did not qualify as anything

    3. The most amazing insights after these sessions. I see for the first time that I will never work in that type of insustry again, or be attracted to that type of man again. They are no longer a “good fit”‘. I also feel that by using my talents which are still there and better than ever, I will be fulfilling my role in this life. It’s totally okay to do this I feel no guilt.

    Wow.

    Thank you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 7, 2016

      Hi Dawn,

      you are so welcome …

      Thank you for your report and answering the questions – you have done a really good job – and received a wonderful shift!

      Great job and BIG kudos to you!!

      I really want to just guide you little Dawn … please don’t judge your Beliefs … goodness we all took on stuff that wasn’t ours in the first place (and this was NO slur on us!) … but this is also about training ourselves to NOT judge ANY of it .. no us, not others … it just “is what it is” .. and then all of it (our own limiting beliefs and others behaviours) start to no longer have a hold on us.

      Thus the words “shocking” or “spoilt brats” are much healthier when we could say something like … uncovered some “very revealing” beliefs ….and “people reflecting these beliefs back to me” …

      Hope this helps!

      Mel xo

      • dawn.stonecottage@gmail.com'
        Dawn
        July 7, 2016

        Totally agree. Thanks for those points and I’m taking that to the Forgiveness Module – it’s really a good one…forgiving me, and others…

        The insight from today is, that all people outside of me are actually me – in a different form –

        I wasn’t able to attend Neale’s session. (2am this morning in my country) but I think the lesson is coming through…

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 7, 2016

          Hi Dawn,

          just quickly (its late here!) …

          Wow! Great insight …

          With Neale’s event you will receive a recording – that you can listen to at ANY time …

          Mel xo

  • pandabrick@hotmail.com'
    Amanda
    July 7, 2016

    1)

    I am on the outside, rejected and a healthy relationship will never be accessible to me

    I am unworthy of love

    People will not be interested in me, I am boring

    Unless I am “nice” and please people I will turn on me and I will crumble

    I am responsible for everyone else’s feelings

    I cannot bear to hurt another’s feelings so I must suffer myself

    I am alone and separate

    If someone comes too close they will be repelled

    2)

    I have kept myself separate by isolating myself so I can’t be hurt

    I have chosen unavailable (addict/abusive/narcissitic) relationships who are incapable of seeing the real me

    I have placed the blame outside in order to avoid looking inside (victim)

    I have placed the blame inside but not not taken responsibility for my feelings (victim) and been void of compassion to myself

    I have focused excessively on how I look, what I earn and how tidy my house is

    I have judged myself harshly

    I have not stood up for what I believe

    I have self medicated with TV, food, drugs, alcohol, self help books, compulsive cleaning, other people’s business/problems (gossip)

    3)

    I feel like crying tears of joy/relief, I feel overwhelmed with compassion for myself, I feel hope for my future, I feel solid inside, I feel my soul is saying to me “where have you been? Welcome home my love”

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 7, 2016

      Hi Amanda,

      I felt every word powerfully as I read them …

      Wow …

      Wow! Truly …

      OMG you are SO ready to heal …

      I am nearly crying tears of relief for you – and I have goosebumps all up my arms.

      Your story is SO many people’s story in this Community – HUGE!!!

      Thank you for answering these three questions, and welcome home.

      Mel xo

  • info@psyche.co.za'
    Stella
    July 7, 2016

    1) -fear of abandonment; not being worthy of love, that I am not good enough; that no one will love me because there is something horribly wrong with me; that I can’t look after myself; that I can’t trust myself, that life is about suffering; that the world is unsafe; that love is about enmeshment and dangerous.

    2) I have been showing up in completely co-dependent ways and finding my critical & dangerous narcissist mother in significant others. I have looked for escapist distractions and done everything to avoid myself in engaging in toxic entanglements and failing to look after myself both emotionally and financially. After the last 2 year relationship I lost my job due to severe agoraphobia and crippling anxiety following toxic on again off again narc relationship which nearly killed me. I am starting to get up again, but the depression from facing myself after all this denial is devastating. It does come down to core beliefs.

    3) when I attended Melanie’s webinar and in the above exercise I cried and felt compassion for myself and my faulty ideals for the first time. It felt as though I might actually make it out the other side. I felt lighter and the crazy obsessive thinking subsided.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 7, 2016

      Hi Stella,

      thank you so much for your courageous connection to these exercises.

      You have done incredibly well in partnering with your Inner Being and getting in contact with these beliefs, and please know dear lady NO MATTER what level of trauma you have sustained there is the way out – TRULY.

      I’ve come back, healed and then Thrived from the brink and so many others in this Community have too.

      NARP is the answer for that.

      Are you on NARP? If not – and you are not drawn as one the winners, please know Stella we sponsor people in need … who are financially stressed regarding the small monthly payments onto NARP for free … and I would love you to apply if that is your position.

      Bless and hugs

      Mel xo

  • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
    Cassie
    July 7, 2016

    1. The faulty beliefs my Inner Identity revealed to me was that I have felt like an object or a prop to my family of origin. I felt unwanted unless I fulfilled and met their needs. I felt used by them so they could meet THEIR agenda of false truths. If I stood up against the false truth I was a bother and defective. I never got to have my own agenda. So first my true Self had to separate myself from the sickness of my family of origin, realize and feel they are sick and I don’t want to be. So let them stay sick and stuck–that’s OKAY. But I AM NOT GOING TO! The second faulty belief was that I was controlled by the sickness of my family and its DNA. I could always sense the “falseness” of it all , of the “aura” and I always KNEW the “truth” but I wasn’t CEMENTED in the truth.

    2. The ways I have been showing up was by ignoring the “truth” and MY strong strong sense of it. I was buying into their control that their agenda WAS the “truth”. IT ISN”T!!!!!!! IT WASN’T!!!!!!!
    I didn’t get the nurturing I needed or the chance to be me in order to allow myself to be CEMENTED into the “truth” so I exhausted myself by going against what I KNEW to be the truth and continually served their FALSE “truth”. NO MORE SISTA!!!!!!

    3. I feel so light!!!! I feel the puppet strings of control are GONE. AND my angels have worked so hard over the years to bring me here. I am bursting with lots of knowing that can’t be put into coherent words. I drew my angels a glass of champagne in my journal instead of words. For this moment, right here, right now I am a 10/10. I am praying my cement holds!!!!!!!! I know I have lots of work left and always. But for now……..

    Thank you Melanie and your lovely voice and lovely words and gorgeous Australian accent!!!!
    Cassie Dey

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 7, 2016

      Hi Cassie,

      I am so pleased you had a shift and thank you for your lovely compliments and I am so pleased you like my accent!!

      (Some people have trouble understanding it!!)

      I just want to help steer you deeper – Cassie …

      And want to get you a little more our of “your head” and into “your body” – because then the shifts are going to hold a lot more …

      With number one – to get to the beliefs … I’ll help you with one of your examples …

      “I feel like a prop to my Family Of Origin” .. that is more like the feeling and almost even “the event” because it is brings “them” into it ..

      The events are like this … “this (what it is) happened with my Family ….”

      So in this case the event is something like this “when my Family are using me as an object and a proper by doing (whatever they do ..)

      Then we go on to feelings … (as an example) … “This makes me feel objectified. I feel used. I feel unwanted. I feel unimportant”.

      (KEEP it about YOU don’t include them … this gets YOU into the power in your body Cassie – instead of handing it to them …)

      Then with your body open, breathing with you attention deeply in your body – when you ask about the beliefs you again keep it about YOU – or say “others” … because remember the FOO are the catalyst – lets not put the responsibility or energy specifically on them (because there is NO power to change them.)

      So the beliefs may then turn up as something like this … “I am unwanted,” “Others don’t value me”, “The real me is not acceptable”, I am a bother and defective”.

      NOW by doing this Cassie – your FOO are OUT of the picture … this is all about you and your Inner Being and your Higher Power – because THAT is the only place transformation can take place …

      And THEN truly when you do that transformation, and then you go back to feeling into the FOO stuff and “them” (if you have shifted the beliefs and traumas correctly) the charges will BE gone (eventually) and there will be NO hurt.

      But that can’t happen if you bring the FOO in with you in the transformation process.

      It has to be ALL about you – and if you follow this formula and the guidance I have just given you – you will feel a much DEEPER more connected and powerful shift …

      One that is not taking place at “a head level” but is really impactful in your soul.

      Can you give that a go and then answer the three questions again?

      Mel xo

      • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
        Cassie
        July 7, 2016

        Okay Melanie your advise extracted a huge core belief and I can’t stop crying and I don’t know how to move on effectively from here try as I might. the core belief is ….I am a nuisance.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 7, 2016

          Hi Cassie,

          this is where it’s about following the process right through to number 7 – to actually shift that hurt …

          and please know it is fantastic that you got down the bottom of things … stand in lovingly for yourself and with your journal keep processing and I promise the relief on the other side will be epic.

          You can do this …

          Big hugs.

          Mel xo

          • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
            Cassie
            July 7, 2016

            but I am using the Goal setting module

          • Melanie Tonia Evans
            July 7, 2016

            Ok Cassie,

            got you …

            I didn’t realise that you were a NARP Member .. I am sorry I should have checked in! My apologies Cassie ..

            Ok so in the Goal Setting Module what is going on for you … in regard to the process and the shift? That is what we need to investigate – to see where the “disconnect” is ..

            Are you in the NARP Forum Cassie? Because that is where we work intensively with NARP work … and there is so much support and help from the Mods and myself there for you.

            That’s the next step for you.

            Mel xo

  • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
    Cassie
    July 7, 2016

    Oh dear Mel
    Yes I am in the forum and Claire in support can attest that indeed I did show up the past two days acting on my new found core belief that “I am a nuisance.” Your moderators are darling. I complicated the initial sharing of my “story” to say the least. My Little Me needs a good’s night rest and possibly a time out.
    Your work truly is spectacular. I pledge to me to keep working.
    Good Night and sweet dreams to all…….

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 8, 2016

      Hi Cassie,

      hahaha … awww darl …. I am sure Clarie was good with you!

      I hope you slept well, thank you for your goodnight well wishes …

      and I am so pleased you are in this Community – you are going to breakthrough – absolutely!

      Mel xo

  • info@psyche.co.za'
    Stella
    July 7, 2016

    Hi Melanie, thank you for your response and for all your wonderful work! I have been struggling to get on my feet financially and have been following your newsletters/youtube for over a year and really resonated with your teaching and intelligence. I only realized the level of my co-dependency and faulty programming after a crazy two year relationship with a narcissist (who was my mother incarnate, I didn’t understand how that could be!) I didn’t know there was such a thing as a narcissist- and for that matter a co-dependent. I was just as horrified that I had a ‘disease’ too, or there was no way I would have continued to engage at such great cost to myself. If I had been able to properly take care of myself and I wasn’t sick myself due to early conditioning (I wasn’t even aware of)….. I applied your No Contact rules and got out in spite of the extreme level of my addiction- my anxiety was so intense and my health was in tatters. I am almost a year out now, but shocked at how awful being out of denial is, and wow, the low self esteem and depression (and mental instability) was nearly worse than the drama of addiction. But, my body and nerves were shattered, if I hadn’t gone No Contact, I would probably be in an institution or dead! I have gotten so much out of your work, and the stories of everyone who comments. thank you so much! I hope to get myself to a position financially where I can sign up for the NARP program. If it is possible in the meantime to apply for sponsorship, I would be very grateful if my application were considered. Whee would I send an application?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 8, 2016

      Hi Stella,

      it’s my pleasure 🙂

      It’s totally true Stella that surviving and getting out of an N relationship is only the beginning.

      You are right – many people would be dead, and I am so pleased you GOT out and you are not .. but at the next Level … burying our traumas does not work if we want to be free from them.

      We have to meet them.

      Yes, absolutely Stella, sponsorship is available for people who can’t make the small monthly repayments … you can apply at support@melanietoniaevans.com

      It’s great that your time is right to heal now Stella!

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • yvettemercierstaginganddesign@hotmail.com'
    Yvette
    July 8, 2016

    I can never give enough appreciation to you for the way you have inspired and propelled me into being a better, happier and healthier being. Thank you.

    I tell the following not to rehash my sorrows, but to share the devastating blows that were put in my path to overcome…I am still standing! The truest part of all of this is to NOT be a victim…as in…look at how lousy my life has been or is, poor me. Yes, it totally sucks, big time…but I love who I am because of it all. Everything it has taught me…that it has brought me to this community.
    My mother died in her sleep when I was 4.5. I went to kiss her good morning and my brother and father were there crying…my father remarried a narcissist and my childhood was akin to Mommy Dearest. I placed myself in foster care to get away from the abuse and was shuffled between many homes where I never felt loved or that I belonged. I married young to an abusive (physically and emotionally) man and left with my one year old and was 2 months pregnant with my second. I remarried a high school boyfriend whom I loved very much, and he ended up with my sister in law, whom I was best friends with. I dated a sociopath and after years of not taking the chance of being hurt again, I found an Altruistic Narcissist! Life was not going to have me ignore the growth that I needed to do…this was painfully obvious…Life wins, and so too am I the winner in life, because life never gave up trying to teach me.

    1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two?

    My faulty beliefs are:
    -I am unlovable
    -my mom did not care enough, to live, to keep me safe and nurture me
    -I feel I am replaceable and disposable and easily discarded
    -I need to do anything and everything in order for people not to leave me
    -I feel unworthy, and insignificant of commitment and loyalty
    -I feel broken

    2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.

    The ways I have shown up and confirming these False Beliefs is:
    -I turn pain/hurt quickly into anger
    -I bolt, run, hide, curl up and become depressed, disassociate with everyone
    -I get hurtful with my words and try to cause as much pain back
    -I will do more and more for the person who hurt me trying to earn their love
    -I have accepted behaviours that are so vile and even dangerous just to be (feel what I thought was love) loved
    -I have lied for, protected, stood up for someone not worthy of anything all the while, not protecting myself or honouring myself or standing up for my self by walking away
    -I have preached, explained, trusted, forgiven, expressed so many times, I am even sick of hearing it
    -I have taken time away from true and good people in my life to try to “help” a person who won’t or can’t change
    -I have turned cold in order to survive and kept people at a distance

    3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?

    I feel grateful. Calm. Safe knowing I am in control of my own safety and I trust myself now. I feel energized. At peace. Truly forgiving and able to walk away when and if I need to. I am happy. I am not anxious. I can sleep. Most importantly to me, that I am not a “survivor” of life any more…but a THRIVER!

    I have spread the word of you work to so many already…Bless you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 8, 2016

      Hi Yvette,

      you are so welcome, and I am so happy for you!

      Ohhhh wow Yvette your story is huge …. SO big!

      All of our hearts go out to you, and your incredible courage to survive and thrive after what your life has been.

      Your attitude and soul is ASTOUNDING!

      Your work here is so truthful and in-depth – powerful stuff!

      It’s an honour to have you in this Community Yvette, and thank you for posting your 3 answers … so honestly, openly and in ways that I know so many people will be able to relate to – for their own healing.

      Big blessings to you too.

      Mel xo

  • tpurkers@gmail.com'
    Ta
    July 8, 2016

    This is one of the best articles yet! I can literally feel a reminder in the examples and has reflected back to me how far Ive come and seeing how much farther there is to go! Beautiful Melanie!

    After workshopping I have found: 1) If I relax and be myself, the rug will be pulled out from underneath me. If I dont rush and get it all done then I won’t be safe

    2) I go into overdrive or overwhelm mode and end up wasting alot of energy and turning people off, making mistakes from rushing etc. Not being centered.

    3) I felt a sense of clarity and a remembering of relaxation. I felt a whole world of possibilities open up about how I could manage my time and commitments rather than feeling at the mercy of them, that giving to myself is more important than depleting for others.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 8, 2016

      Hi Ta,

      I am so pleased this article resonated with you!

      Thank you for sharing your three answers, and wonderful you experienced a shift!

      How beautiful you accessed that “remembering”, which is innate within all of us when we get the trauma out of our Being.

      Mel xo

  • jassu_surdie@yahoo.co.in'
    Want2BreakFree
    July 9, 2016

    Hi Mel

    Here is my entry for the contest. Wanted to thank you for sharing these Core Beliefs with us. There’s a lot of stuff for me to get dug into with the GSM even when the contest is over!

    Ok here’s what I uncovered :

    1. FAULTY BELIEFS :

    A) I’m all Alone and I won’t make it
    B) I am not safe anywhere

    The next three were ancient and related to my having hurt some one else, could not get details but was shocked at the beliefs that came up :
    C) I deserve to be Punished
    D) I can’t forgive myself
    E) I have to sacrifice my Self-Love to ensure Justice is upheld.

    2. The ways in which I have showed up and confirmed these beliefs

    A) “I’m all alone and I won’t make it” – I’ve always Self abandoned without understandin why I couldn’t look after myself! It has happened again and again in my life, right from childhood. I’ve felt like I would die and be obliterated if I didn’t have external support most of my Life.

    B) Belief : ” I’m Not safe Anywhere ”

    I have suffered from adrenalin spurts and constantly imagining the worst, even when in a safe environment. I remember even as a young child feeling terrified that I was not safe when my parents went to bed and the house went silent – I would imagine being kidnapped even though nothing like that ever happened to me. I never felt safe anywhere, was always hyper vigilant without being able to figure out why I was scared when other kids were not. It did not get better as I grew up. As an adult I developed panic attacks about everything – office, the people I worked with, my roommate, my family, my future. NOWHERE was safe, not even in time – not the past, the present or future. Could not figure out why!

    C) Belief : ” I deserve to be punished ”

    I have always felt cursed and punished by Life even though I knew I was a good person who did not steal, bully, manipulate for my own gains. But I could never find it in me to stand up against myself even when persecuted for things I didn’t do – I would just collapse and behave like I deserved bad things while being so confused about why I felt such strong self blame. I thought it had to do with low self esteem but even improving my self esteem did not help much. I still believe even the worst slander abot myself because “they can’t be wrong so I must deserve this in some way”. By not standing up against wrongful persecution and defending myself I unknowingly behaved in accordance to this belief.

    D) Belief : ” I can’t forgive myself ”

    I believe this has made me prime target for abuse all my life – sheer GUILT surrounding lack of self forgiveness. So I have allowed others to punish me due to my own guilt and that’s why I thought every abuser was right to punish me! Being so full of guilt I could not see them for the abusers they were – this belief has made me act like there is nothing wrong with anyone else but I’m unforgivable and messed up.

    E) Belief : ” I sacrifice my self-love so justice is upheld”

    This was the most profound and disturbing believe to come up in GSM. It relates strongly to beliefs C) and D), and takes things a step further. I NOW understand why I have struggled to love myself and still do – I am punishing myself by withholding my own Love from me while giving it freely to those who would abuse me! Explains ALL the narcussists and manipulators who I seem to attract all the time throughout this Life and would fight tooth and nail if I ever tried to leave – who else can be Thier Perfect Prisoner and supply than someone like me who cuts off her own Self Love to punish herself?

    3. HOW I FELT AFTER BRINGING IN TRUE SELF :

    I felt like I understood why I behave in deeply Masochistic ways for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!! Why I was always the scapegoat, the one who got bullied, the one who brought out the worst in people. Such a huge revelation.

    I also saw why I could not self partner easily even after being in therapy. It has always felt ‘wrong’ for me to be kind and supportive of myself and to love myself unconditionally, but I have found it very easy to love and support others with empathetic supoort – this deadly combination has led to people using me when they need support and discarding me when I need it from them. Now I see it was Life reflection back to me that I had discarded MYSELF!

    Thanks again for starting this contest Mel. I would never have uncovered these core beliefs on my own – this is such deeply unconscious stuff. Still in shock honestly but I hope to process this and uplevel myself soon. Love and hugs! ❤️

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 9, 2016

      Hi Want2BreakFree,

      You are so welcome, and I am so pleased you unearthed so much!

      Wow – these were deep BIGGIES!

      W2BF, I am sure sooo many people will relate to what you have written … it’s powerful, poignant and SO spot on!

      And how fantastic that you can clearly see what these beliefs have been generating within you, and how you have been relating to Life up till now.

      The clarity you have extracted from this is mind-glowingly accurate!

      Wow … HUGE … “punishing myself by withholding my own Love from me while giving it freely to those who would abuse me!”

      Oh boy do I relate to how I used to do that to me too!

      I love how the shift brought through so much for you … and it brings us to such a deep understanding that even if we do get “help” unless Core Beliefs are dismantled we can’t be “helped” (if they are powerful / painful enough).

      Fantastic work W2BF, you have done magnificently with this – I am so happy for you that you applied yourself to this contest!

      Mel xo

      • jassu_surdie@yahoo.co.in'
        Want2BreakFree
        August 26, 2016

        Dear Mel,

        Oh wow! I decided to come check the blog to see if the contest results had been declared yet. Was curious to read my reply here again and I am absolutely floored – sometime after this exercise and posting here, I uncovered an old Past Life memory around beliefs C), D), and E) in my contest entry around which I carried ENORMOUS guilt even though it was not my fault. It was an act of self defence and probably the most shocking and eye opening shift I’ve had – I never expected to uncover something from a past life!

        So thank you once again dear Mel, I can see now how participating here led me to uncover that old wound. I now feel compassion for my past Life self and for myself for having carried such a heavy burden of allowing myself to be abused.

        ❤️❤️❤️

  • missfit111@gmail.com'
    Sophie
    July 9, 2016

    1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two?

    Some of my faulty beliefs included: I am always abandoned, I am inferior, I don’t belong with others, I am always alone, I am unworthy of love, I need to people-please in order to win approval from others, I am incapable of loving myself, I need approval from others in order to be happy & I cannot trust anyone.

    2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.

    Yes, through isolation and dissociation I have spent most of my life alone- this confirmed my false belief that I am always alone and I don’t belong. I have chosen abusive and narcissistic partners, which confirmed my belief that I am unworthy of love. I have treated myself in unloving and uncaring ways which confirmed the belief that I am incapable of loving myself. I have chosen to surround myself with critical and unloving people, which has always left me feeling unworthy and unable to trust others. I have been codependent and addicted to fear and drama in order to escape looking at my own self. I have lived a life of perfectionism attempting to hide any flaws from myself and the world. I have played the victim role expecting others to care for me in order to avoid taking responsibility for my feelings and my life. This has kept me focused on getting love and validation from the outside instead of focusing on getting it from within myself.

    3)How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?

    I felt goosebumps. I feel hopeful that I can gradually replace these false beliefs with love and light. It felt good to relieve my inner child of the burdens she has been carrying. And to know that in the presence of light and my higher power these beliefs are not that scary. That I can always go within myself for the true source of love. Darkness can’t exist in the presence of light – there’s no need to try to hide these erroneous beliefs when I can see them as a separate part of me that cannot survive the truth.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 9, 2016

      Hi Sophie,

      You have done such great job here, and thank you for posting your answers.

      You have made such powerful connections to your Inner Being as well as how that translates in Real Life.

      Brilliant, brilliant work!

      I adore what you wrote as the wisdom that came from your shift …

      It is powerful soul transformation …

      “Darkness can’t exist in the presence of light – there’s no need to try to hide these erroneous beliefs when I can see them as a separate part of me that cannot survive the truth.”

      Massive!!!

      Well done 🙂

      Mel xo

  • w.andreass@hotmail.com'
    Wenche
    July 9, 2016

    1. Faulty beliefs: Feeling unloved, alone, not appreciated, misunderstood.

    2. Within the above beliefs I felt tied down untill I had certain things finished up and added to my life so I could “depart” from my current situation.

    3. Freeing, but still very stressful going through several issues and the process of “moving on”.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 9, 2016

      Hi Wenche,

      Thank you for posting your answers …

      Please know it really is about going in “deeper” …

      Regarding “I felt tied down …etc …” What was really going on for you in there … how did this relate to your beliefs and not being able to put your True Self forth (regardless of circumstances)?

      That is what we really need to get to … (check out the other two answers above you for more contact with this …)

      And please know you don’t have to write “much” but it does need to be a little more specific to the beliefs for number 2.

      I am glad you felt some freedom, but please know taking it deeper will help you even more.

      Mel xo

  • V.N1711@gmx.at'
    Victoria
    July 9, 2016

    1.) I discovered through this exercises that for me the belief of separation and the belief of not being enough to be loved are very much interconnected. From an early age on I always felt like I was not loveable enough, others where more interesting, pretty, funny, etc. than me, which made me feel like the odd one out, like I was some kind of weirdo. In retrospect I can see how these faulty beliefs caused so much unnecessary suffering and pain for the child/teen-me.
    2.) I can see now how my beliefs of separation and unworthiness where confirmed by reality in multiple ways. I used my body language (no eye contact, hunching my shoulders, when being in public trying to take up as little space as possible, crossing my arms, etc.) and even clothing (unflattering/bland clothing so nobody would look or be attracted to me) to keep people at a distance. In social settings (when I couldn’t avoid them) I would not engage in conversations, but if I did I would give very short answers and sometimes be very sarcastic, I would act very cold and be very unapproachable. This behaviour only confirmed my belief of being unattractive, boring, not being loveable and the odd one out. The only people that showed interest in me or rather in the persona I (unconsciously) created where the same people that reflected my wounds of unworthiness back to me. I would go out of my way to accommodate their needs or their ideas about who I had to be or how I had to think, but no matter what I did, nothing was ever enough.
    3.) After replacing these false beliefs with the prayer they definitely have less emotional charge on them. For me it is very difficult to connect to my emotions because as long as I can think I always avoided dealing with them in the first place. Because I had a fairly traumatic childhood and adolescence it was never save to express and deal with my emotions, rather I had to suppress them to survive. But now I am at a point in my life where surviving is no longer enough for me. You can’t change your past but you can heal it and create the future you like and thrive in your life. I am so grateful that I found your work, Mel, a few months ago. I had the most life-changing experience when I attended your last webinar and connected to my inner child. This may sound weird to some people (it even sounded weird to me as I regard myself as a more logical person) but my inner child said to me that she has been waiting for me and was wandering where I’ve been so long. For me this was very profound and I knew I had to stop letting myself down and start self-partnering. Because I have a lot of trauma stored in my body I know I still have a long way to go, but seeing how others who used your programmes made it to the other side I’m confident that I too can heal and become a “Thriver”. A few days ago, after some internal resistance , I finally purchased your NARP Programme and I can’t wait to start working on my healing.
    Thank you very much, Mel, for doing the work that you do! (And sorry for the length of this comment, but I felt like I needed to share this)

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 9, 2016

      Hi Victoria,

      It is very true for many people these beliefs are very connected Victoria … great you got clarity with this … and fantastic you can now understand what has been generating “how” you have shown up.

      The following is a powerful, powerful understanding …

      “The only people that showed interest in me or rather in the persona I (unconsciously) created were the same people that reflected my wounds of unworthiness back to me. I would go out of my way to accommodate their needs or their ideas about who I had to be or how I had to think, but no matter what I did, nothing was ever enough.”

      Wow!!!

      I am so pleased mere “survival” is not good enough for you now Victoria … it shouldn’t be for any of its – NOT when we have the ways to transform and Thrive now!

      So true Victoria!!

      All of our Inner Children have been doing that Victoria – true .. and the experience you had was so real.

      That is AWESOME you are now connected to NARP – and it’s going to be wonderful to see you in the Forum!

      No problem at all regarding the length – it has been a pleasure to read and work with your comment – absolutely!

      Bless!

      Mel xo

  • perryshe@gmail.com'
    nikki
    July 9, 2016

    What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two?
    Thank you Melanie for doing such powerful work.
    The following are some of the faulty beliefs that were revealed to me..
    I have always felt unloved, unwanted, unworthy. I was adopted at a very young age, but my parents hid this from me. My mother literally hated me. She started telling at the age of 6, ‘I wish we never got you’ and would love at me like she was the devil. She tried to kill me when I was between 7-8 for playing in the tub and splashing water on the bathroom tile, she took a knife to my throat on multiple occasions. Since then, I have always searched for some type of security and I only felt safe within myself. I did not form close relationships with anyone, was the classic loner throughout grade school and high school. I remember my teachers always asking me what was wrong, but I think I was just in so much pain I didn’t know how to deal. Instead of turning to drugs or alcohol, I over exercised.
    Diving further into this negative belief, I have always tried to prove my worth in every relationship, from after the initial first date, my partner would never have to lift a finger because I wanted to do everything (cook, clean which I hate, laundry) because I need to prove that I had a purpose. My last relationship was with someone who had strong narc qualities and as Melanie always says life turned up the volume and that relationship rocked my world soo badly, I was on my knees crying out for help. I tried to do everything in that relationship and in the beginning it was amazing because I was being love bombed, something I had never experienced and did not know how to handle any of it, because I thought for once, someone..anyone loved me for me and I could not have been more wrong. that relationship brought me here..too my healing journey.

    2)I have been showing up as a fearful, low self esteem, no boundary having, accepting whatever (lies, cheating, verbal abuse) scared little girl, looking outside of herself for her savior.

    3) After bringing in my true self, I feel more aware of my underlying issues. I hold myself accountable for my poor choices and not following my intuition. I do realize these are things I need to continue to work on, I was notoriously self avoiding before I found this blog..I was continuing to over exercise, over work and over talk about this issue to anyone who would listen but not once did I take the time to self partner and look to soothe my soul within myself. I was still searching everywhere outside of myself…self help books, reading other peoples stories…not once did I get in touch with my inner child to see what she needed to be healed and made whole.

    Thank you Melanie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 10, 2016

      Hi Nikki,

      You are very welcome, it is my pleasure 🙂

      Gosh, given your childhood your soul has chosen a big evolution path this lifetime – and how wonderful now that you are starting to do the work in your body, and achieving self-partnering.

      Thank you Nikki for sharing your answers, and keep taking your power back to yourself by doing the work in your body – because it WILL allow you to leave behind the terrible victimisation you have suffered and felt and start to truly THRIVE.

      It is your time to do it!

      Mel xo

  • Testing@drtracylarson.com'
    Tracy Larson
    July 10, 2016

    Thank you so much for sharing so much with us about this process and all that you have learned in your journey!

    Some core beliefs that became clear for me are that ‘I need to do something to earn love… Behave, think of other’s first, etc). I have a pattern of, when problems arise, seek desperately for what I can do to fix the problem and make things better. I would accommodate to others quite willingly in order to ‘make’ them happy (without considering the effects on me). After the process and prayer, I felt more at peace and able to relax and enjoy just being and realizing more and more what brings me happiness and joy.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 10, 2016

      Hi Tracy,

      you are very welcome.

      Thank you for your share, and I am so happy for you that you felt a shift!

      Mel xo

  • crnp100@hotmail.com'
    Jan D
    July 10, 2016

    #1 Faulty Beliefs my Inner Identity revealed to me in regard to Core belief One and Two:

    Core Belief One: No separation from Higher Power and each other
    -I do not belong and never will no matter how much I sacrifice
    -My existence is a mistake and I am certainly not a child of God, I was supposed to be someone else that my mother could love
    -No one wants to be around me, I am unlovable
    -I am obnoxious and annoying and should be kept away from other people so as not to embarrass my mother
    -my life is a disappointment to others
    -people should be warned about me because I am so “bad”
    -I needed to be isolated and did not deserve to be included in family or social gatherings
    -I am of no value, subhuman scum

    Core Belief Two: There is nothing to do or prove to be loved
    -my mere existence is grotesque
    -I am not deserving of a place in this world, should be hidden away as a mistake
    -I will never be “good enough”
    -no one will ever love me, especially a man (my mother told me this multiple time)
    -I can only be loved and approved of if I please others and anticipate how they want me to act
    -if I acknowledge my accomplishments or feel good about myself I am conceited and self centered, deserve to be mocked and ridiculed
    -I have to hustle for love and acceptance because I am substandard
    -I need to be punished by withholding food, not deserving

    #2 Ways that I have been showing up that confirm my False Beliefs and make them real:

    Core Belief One:
    -food and alcohol addictions
    -staying overweight to protect and shield myself from relationships
    -not trusting anyone who acts as if they like me
    -playing small
    -isolating
    -thoughts of suicide reoccurring as a way to escape the pain and please my mother

    Core Belief Two:
    -I stayed with my horribly abusive and narcissistic husband for 30yrs because that is all that I deserved (finally liberated my physical self 5 yrs ago)
    -solitary life, I do not deserve a relationship as I am unworthy
    -continue hyper-acute attention to the needs of others
    -morphing myself to please others and agreeing when I really don’t
    -allowing people to treat me poorly because I deserve it, no boundaries
    -not deserving of respect, I am beneath others
    -anticipating rejection before it even occurs (and of course, then, it does!)
    -attention to priorities and needs of others as I have none

    #3 Feelings after bringing in my True Self to replace the False Beliefs:

    At first I was overwhelmed with sadness for my little girl’s suffering at the hands of her own mother, and the suffering of that beautiful young woman who sacrificed her soul for that marriage of torture. All they wanted was to be a part of something and to love and be loved. Also overwhelm after unearthing even more False Beliefs than I already knew I had. Realizing that I feared annihilation and death from the time I was in utero and that I had to survive any way possible. I know and believe that this journey is mine for a reason, but that does not soothe the agony and pain in the process. I thought that I had no more tears to cry about being tortured and having lived under the control of sick people for the majority of my life. But, after this exercise I was wracked with sobs and could not stop crying for 2 days. Then I realized that these were sobs of relief. Relief at finally liberating feelings that were stuck, hidden from countless therapies I have already tried.

    Then came elation. Could this really be true?! Can I finally be free of the oppression of these beliefs? I believe it to be true after this exercise. I can and will finally come to know and trust my True Self, and in that liberation make space for others to do the same.

    There is still trepidation and some feelings of distrust from my wounded ones (that is understandable after a lifetime of subjugation!). I am now hopeful that I will NOT spend the rest of my life imprisoned by these False Beliefs. There is an uplifted sense of joy and freedom that my Inner Child craves, more energy, less density and heaviness. I am enough!!

    Words are not enough for you and your work, Melanie, a heart felt and humble Thank You! I am so grateful for the contributions of my fellow bloggers and their exquisite vulnerability in sharing, and I feel so much compassion for each and every one.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 10, 2016

      Hi Jan D,

      Wow … you have really got down to the Core Beliefs Jan … brilliant, brilliant job!!

      And such powerful connections to how you have been showing up.

      Gosh … isn’t this one so true!!

      “anticipating rejection before it even occurs (and of course, then, it does!)”

      Jan, what incredible feelings you are discussing in your shifts …

      It is so lovely what has happened within you … and I know it will keep going for you.

      Jan thank you so much for your incredibly thoughtful recognition of others – the other beautiful souls, who have participated publicly and behind the scenes.

      And thank you Jan for your lovely words for me.

      The greatest gift for me Jan is seeing people, as you have done, take this work on.

      It fills my heart and soul with such joy every day.

      So please know – THANK you, and keep shining your beautiful light dear Lady 🙂

      Mel xo

  • suzielf@hotmail.com'
    Suzie
    July 10, 2016

    Hello Melanie,
    Again…I’m very grateful to you for your work and the way in which you share it- my life is becoming MY life and what were dark corners are now drenched with light and with hope. I’m so glad to have bumped into you!

    Also for these questions, and the opportunity to heal at this level.

    1) Faulty beliefs from core questions 1 and 2:
    *I’m not good enough…unworthy…I’m too ..(small,boring,ugly,poor,uncool..)…not good enough
    *I’m unlovable, unlikeable….love will only be for others…love will not be for me. I cannot be loved.
    *the gifts of life are not for me. They are for others but not for me.
    *I’m a negative to all and I should disappear
    *I don’t belong

    2) How these false beliefs have shown up:
    *I haven’t asked others for assistance or interaction…I’ve had an assumption is be a bother
    *when I get ahead something has ‘happened’, often related to the car…for eg bank balance becomes very healthy and I forgot to pay registration on the car…required large fines, repeat roadworthy and subsequent replacing tyres etc plus renewal of license to provisional and then back to open license after 6 months…all expensive and huge amount of money gone.
    *a great deal of my care and compassion goes on others in my job, but I haven’t given myself the same care
    *I’ve been compelled to give gifts to others that go over what I would allow myself to spend on myself
    I’ve spent money and time on good works and gifts for others, where I do unpaid overtime a lot and give up my precious time doing for others.

    3)feelings after bringing in my true self after replacing the false beliefs with source, truth:
    *’I am a gift to life
    *I deserve to be loved..I deserve love…love is my birthright
    *I feel at peace. I feel Real
    *I accept my own love, care and compassion
    *I’m accepting of who I am and it’s s good feeling
    *freedom from guilt or shame
    *I feel a pouring of kindness towards myself

    Thank you Melanie.
    X
    Suzi

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 10, 2016

      Hi Suzie,

      you are very welcome, and I am so pleased I could help 🙂

      I ADORE what you have said here:

      “my life is becoming MY life and what were dark corners are now drenched with light and with hope.”

      You have done a wonderful job of identifying your beliefs, and the connection to how you have been showing up …

      Fantastic spot on awareness!

      Ohhhh I LOVE The shifts that have come through for you!

      How gorgeous for you Suzi!

      Keep up the GREAT work!

      Mel xo

      • suzielf@hotmail.com'
        Suzie
        July 12, 2016

        Thank you, Mel…and thank you also for the opportunity to address these deep issues. I admire Neale Donald Walsh- read Conversations With God ?20 years ago and his name drew me in also. So good to listen to his words in light of my having found your work now. So it’s like a bundle of gifts all together that will keep me busy for a little while longer!
        Respectfully, thankful from a deep and quiet place in me.
        Suzi

  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    July 10, 2016

    Hey everyone …

    **** PLEASE NOTE *****

    The competition is now closed off!

    Thank you so much everyone for participating – and we will draw and announce the winners soon!

    Mel xo

  • fernandes.jasmin@rocketmail.com'
    Jasmin
    July 10, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    Thank you for this most recent article. I have been working through NARP for 2.5 months now and I am in module 5. I felt that I was moving through quite slowly through module 5. But since doing the exercise in this article I feel that I now have deeper understanding of it all. Breaking it down into the steps made huge sense and I felt the resolution instantly after completing it all. I have been able to let my ex narc “fall” away a step further by blocking his number. This was still hard to do even though intellectually I knew I should do it. I still wanted to be able to see if he “loved” me by texting. I read your article on hoovering last night and then and there I finally decided to do it. It felt so good! I felt so much freer and proud of myself. This shifting stuff really works, especially with the break down to belief level.

    I have been wanting to participate in the NARP community but since it involves facebook I havent. First of all I have not really used it before and second it freaks me out! The temptation for me to go and check my narc…people’s postings that are shallow unauthentic meaningless….why would I want to know the trivial info like that? But I really want to connect with NARP community.

    I am sorry I missed the comp

    with love and gratitude

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 10, 2016

      Hi Jasmin,

      you are very welcome!

      That is great that this series has helped you gain a better understanding of the shifting process.

      And its lovely that you have experienced a shift and felt resolution in your body.

      That is fantastic that you have blocked his number – well done!!

      It is so true that we only miss the love we want from an abusive person, when we are not loving ourselves enough to self-partner and heal … and when we start doing that … all of the neediness just goes.

      The NARP Community is a forum on my website it is not on Facebook … that was an older Community setup.

      The NARP Forum is here: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      So you need not worry about any cross-over with Facebook!

      Even though you may have missed the competition Jasmin, you have gained an incredible super-boost to self!!

      Keep up the great work, and I look forward to seeing you on the Forum – there is so much guidance and growth for you there! 🙂

      Mel xo

  • karla.news@outlook.com'
    Marie
    July 10, 2016

    Melanie, Thank you so much for the process and for the opportunity to listen to Neale Donald Walsch. These are my responses to core beliefs 1 and 2:

    1. Since I was a little girl I always felt like a misfit. This process gave me an image of a puzzle piece who is looking for the puzzle she belongs in. Other beliefs are that others don’t care. I will never belong. I need to do/be perfect to be loved.

    2. I isolate myself. I let my shyness take over. I try to be perfect and hide my true self. I hold back from being myself. I take things personally and feel rejected often.

    3. I feel more clear now — the exercise and listening to Neale Donald Walsh helped me make a shift inside. Today I went to a party and was able to be present, real, engaging and generous. I left the party feeling like I fit in, was loved, and belonged! What a shift for me! Thank you so much!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 10, 2016

      Hi Marie,

      you are very welcome and I am so pleased you participated!

      Thank you for reported on these Core Beliefs, and HOW awesome that you received a shift … I am SO happy for you!

      That is HUGE!!!

      (I’m doing the happy dance with you 🙂 )

      It is TRULY incredible how instantly our Life can and does turn around when we make the shifts on the inside …

      Mel xo

      • karla.news@outlook.com'
        Marie
        July 10, 2016

        Thank you Melanie 🙂

  • richardickens@yahoo.com'
    Lexi
    July 10, 2016

    Hi Melanie,

    This has been one of the fantastic articles I have come across.

    Everything you write about Narcissistic abuse is as though you have written about what I am goung through right now.
    I was always a jovial outgoing person before I got married.
    20 years of marriage has made me the opposite of what I used to be.
    Everytime I interact with people my husband puts me down and is critical about how I conduct myself. I dread talking to people now. I am always wary about what I have to say.
    I have lost my identity. I always feel I am being judged.
    shifting our core beliefs is the only solution.
    I always feel the trauma in my chest. Some kind of a tightness.

    The second belief that one has to give in to earn love is what I have lived with. It’s miserable to live this way.
    shifting the core beliefs makes a lot of sense.
    It is an uphill task but the only way which I have been working on. It doesnt happen over night and needs to be done with diligence.
    Thank you so much for your mission!
    God bless you

    Lexi

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 11, 2016

      Hi Lexi,

      I am so pleased you have enjoyed the article!

      And that you now really feel that the journey to freedom comes from the inside / out.

      Wishing you divine healing and strength Lexi.

      Mel xo

  • triciajoelle@gmail.com'
    Tricia
    July 17, 2016

    Thank you for this information. I am living w/a N, for 17 long yrs. Prior to this, I’ve “done the healing” with laser focus- “why is this happening, where did this creation generate from, what experience from decades past am I recreating, release and heal”. I relentlessly examined every aspect of my psyche. THEN entered the N. My focus was no longer on myself, it was on surviving. I describe it as hitting a patch of ice while driving, and if you take your eyes oft the road, or attention away, you could die”. Hindsight? It was set up that I would have no place to go and no money to get there. I became an animal in a cage being poked and tormented. The deep truth is- if the door was opened, I wouldn’t walk out.

    So, once I realized/ heard of Narcissism, I was stunned, then furious. Why do I have to learn about him, his mind, his issues? I’ve spent all my time focused on him to survive! Then your information shifted it- its not about him. Thank you. But I’m sooo tired of “working on me”. Been there done that. I’ve seen why I created him- being agoraphobic, how perfect to energetically “hire” someone to keep me isolated and in a cage. Brilliant on my part,. I’ve since detached from him, the mini-strokes are less frequent, hair stopped falling out, I don’t get entangled, I realize it useless to point out his “games”/ lies/ mental illness. I do not deserve this. i am worthy of being treated like a human being, with respect and honor and kindness.

    I had an epiphany this morning… the “stuckness” is going from the known to the unknown. Who was I long ago? Who am I? Who would I be? How would I structure my days? THIS is what is keeping me locked in.

    I’m 57 yrs old and haven’t had dreams in so long, and seriously wondering if it is too late to build a life.

    How do you rebuild, is there life after this? A luxury would be to actually have money in my hand and go to the store and buy food that I liike, to wake up and wash myself, not the dirt on the white woodwork… then what? No friends or family or means of support. Then what?

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