6 Steps to Achieve Your Soul Tribe and Soulmate

This week I have something different and extra for you! As well as a Thriver Article, I wanted to share a compilation of all six of my recent YouTube ‘Journey To Love’ videos. It’s a great chance to catch up on any that you missed.

The Thriver Article is a companion piece to the video, and it contains effective self-reflection exercises which take you step-by-step through how to generate healthy love in your life.

It also acts as a sneak preview of my Quantum Dating Bootcamp, which begins on 18^th April, which is coming up fast. So if you want in on my secrets of how to become and create the True Love you deserve, the time to act is NOW!

 

 

Thriver Article

I am so thrilled to have achieved healthy love after narcissistic abuse.

Phew, it was quite the journey!

I wish it for all of us because this is our human and soul right.

Maybe you are in incubation and healing right now, and being introverted is completely right for you. Having this time to heal and look after you is so good. However, if you are ready to connect to people, and even possibly a beloved intimate partner, it may be your time to come out again.

When I first tried to do this I got hurt and re-traumatised, and needed to retrace my inner healing steps. After several scary and even failed goes, I discovered 6 steps that enabled me to connect with GREAT people safely.

These steps also led me to call in and connect with my soulmate Glenn.

Since then, I’ve shared these 6 steps with other beautiful souls who have been able to attract and create wonderful relationships with friends, business associates and intimate love partners, and happily up-level existing relationships.

I LOVE helping people with this after abuse because we need extra care, support and encouragement to open our hearts to trusting humanity and being able to love again.

My upcoming Quantum Dating Bootcamp will kickstart your 6-step training. Fundamentally this teaches you how to ‘mate your soul’ to create an empowered, Source-filled template that gives you the confidence to meet, identify, accept and navigate healthy relationships. What is lovely about these 6 steps is that they help you grow into personal freedom, blossom into radiance and melt away your previous fear and pain.

In this 6-week class, I also grant you the tools to call in your True Soulmate if you are ready for this – the person seeking you as much as you seek them. A person who is ‘the lid for your pot’ and accepts and loves you for YOU.

Yes, this person exists!

This can be done safely without ever putting yourself at risk of narcissistic abuse again.

The Quantum Dating Bootcamp starts on 18th April 2023, and some limited spaces remain. Check it out if this could be beneficial for you.

At the time of posting, there are only 2 days left to sign up.

 

 

Okay, let us go through these 6 steps together, and I want to share some exercises that can help you shift from toxic to healthy love!

 

Step One – The Foundation For Healthy Love

How do you create this foundation?

The first step is to let go of the belief that attraction and shared interests are the proper criteria for safe, loving, and fulfilling relationships.

Nope, they are NOT!

Narcissists are very alluring and magnetic, with expertise in mimicking what a target likes.

The foundation for healthy love is ‘inner-standing’ (standing in) the truth of healthy values and character.

Please see my list of VITAL relationship values:

Honesty, teamwork, self-solidness, authenticity, kindness and consideration, benevolence, spirituality, conscious conflict resolution (and more).

I knew that sharing these values with someone would be the GLUE that could make a relationship work. I also understood that having a healthy or safe friendship, business association, team meeting, or even close family relationship is only possible if someone has these values.

Please know your essential relationship values are NOT asking for too much! Good people have these characteristics. It doesn’t mean they are perfect’ – that doesn’t exist – but they have a good character.

You can’t change someone’s character as an adult – whom you choose is whom you get.

So now it’s your turn.

Exercise 1:
Write the healthy VITAL values you need for a safe and healthy relationship.

Please note that this may be hard for you to do. It may feel weird, foreign, unbelievable or even wrong. This is not about ‘faking it until you make it’. Permit yourself to declare where you want to go. Otherwise, it’s like jumping in a taxi and saying to the driver, “I don’t know my destination,” then they drive you around in circles or abort the trip altogether.

If this feels disconnected, your body wants you to know that inner work and growth will help you ‘inner-stand’ (stand in this as your truth).

In Dating Bootcamp, we do specific Quanta Freedom Healings™ to re-set your emotional inner self to this powerful intention!

 

STEP 2 – Becoming Authentic Narcissist Repellent

Of course, you could be terrified of opening up to people and being hurt again, but that is perfectly understandable after what you have been through!

In Step 2, there is good news and bad news. Let us start with the good news. There is a sure-fire way to repel narcissists easily. It’s a little understood Quantum Secret that:

If you are authentically YOU, you cannot match up with a False Self. You ying, they yang. ‘Opposites attract’ only applies to magnets, and science has shown it is not the case in lasting and healthy relationships.

Now here is the bad news. Being authentically YOU is the last thing you may want to do because YOU don’t think you are acceptable.

Virtually all of us, as little people, learned we were ‘too much,’ ‘not enough’, and even ‘defective’. So we dimmed down, squashed it in, and twisted ourselves into a thousand shapes to earn love.

And here’s the real ‘ouch’ moment: it was being a False Self (not ourselves) that made us prey for narcissists. Which aligns with the Quantum Law of like attracts like.

I want you to know the truth. You are an individual with a glorious soul. No person on the planet is YOU or has the unique gifts, energy and contributions you have to share.

As this, you are a fractal of Creation / Source, and you will repel anyone who is NOT real or connected to the authentic Source. You are a life force, and lower False Selves are anti-life. You being real is like a bright light shining on a vampire– it’s powerful narc repellent!

From this place, you will attract and have relationships with other real people who are authentic and who will love you AS you – including your previously so-called ‘unacceptable parts’.

When my higher channel (my spiritual guide) told me this was Step 2, it made so much sense. My family and love partners led me to believe that I was too much, too ambitious, too accomplished, too much of an achiever, too complex and far too opinionated.

If I shone, I was cut down. If I shrank, I would be miserable.

So, after realising this KEY shift, I decided to fully love and embrace these parts of me and celebrate the REAL me.

An astounding thing happened; I lost all urge to placate people who didn’t like me. I let them go because they are not my people!

Other individuals started showing up, who celebrated me for me. Glenn was the first partner ever who was unthreatened and supportive of my work, allowing me to achieve even more and accelerating my ability to Thrive, expand and shine!

Exercise 2:
Feel into and write about the criticism you have received which is integral to you. What do you need to heal, embrace and accept within yourself?

This step may feel scary because this means you will be coming out as YOURSELF!

It’s okay if it takes time, so please be gentle with yourself. This shift can bring forth fearful feelings and even the terror that you will be rejected, punished or annihilated as you. Inner work can help free you to be YOU.

Quanta Freedom Healing™ shifts are the welcome medicine to move that fear out of your Being.

I can’t tell you how liberating it is to be YOU! That is how to feel the best in your skin, be the most successful in life, have the right people with you and escape False Self connections.

 

Step 3 – Shifting Your Inner Love Code

Step 3 is the understanding that we all have an emotional Love Code, which is the programming of our important relationships.

It says, ‘The people I love _______ (fill in the blank)’.

If, when we were little, there were painful emotional experiences and feelings like “the people I love ignore me, abandon me, replace me, punish me and neglect me” (and so forth),, this is the programming.

On any topic in your life, the most powerful emotions (energy–in–motion) reign supreme as your inner programming. It can be easy to get a sense of what is happening in your Inner Being by seeing the real-life patterns in your outer world – because they will be identical.

Your Love Code is familiar to you. The people who deliver the validity of your Love Code are attractive and attracted to you. There is also an unconscious part of yourself trying to resolve the unfinished emotional business by ‘hoping Mum / Dad will do it better this time.’

This is why you may find it so hard to let go of someone hurting you, and may not be able to attract good, healthy people – who are not a match for your Inner Love Code.

Exercise 3:
Write the names of the people who hurt you and their actions that hurt you. Go back and circle the repeated painful treatment. These are your Inner Painful Love Codes. Then write these out:

‘The people I love _______ (fill in the gap).’

Now set this intention: ‘I am in the process of releasing the traumas and painful emotions that have been holding this Inner Love Code in place.’

I also highly suggest getting some form of bodywork, such as kinesiology or other types of the subconscious healing process, to help with this because talk therapy doesn’t release these emotions.

If you like, come into Quantum Dating Bootcamp, where we release this with Quanta Freedom Healing™.

 

Step 4 – Deserving Real Love

This is the next step after releasing your painful Inner Love Code. Life and your soul are ingenious and they bring you the opportunity to do it differently.

Let me explain with this simple example. Your Inner Love Code was, ‘The people I love are unavailable’. You have done the inner work to shift out this toxic trauma from your body (meaning you have to LET it GO!)

Now you have started dating, and someone you are interested in starts treating you as if you don’t matter. In the past, you made excuses in the consciousness of your painful Inner Love Code programming. You used to say things like, “I am sure they were busy”, “Something must have popped up for them”, and even “They behave like this because of their ex-relationship.”

Since you did the inner work to release the old Love Code, you feel differently about this behaviour. You KNOW you deserve better. So, you say, “Peter, my idea of dating someone is that their actions match their words. I only go on dates with people who turn up.”

Then you be quiet.

Peter now will show you who he is. He could make narcissistic excuses and gaslight you by calling you demanding, unreasonable, and uncaring. If so, you have your answer. You say, “Peter, I wish you all the best, but I’m not going to continue going on dates with you. Take care.”

The garbage just took itself out.

Alternatively, Peter treats you respectfully, apologises, and says, “I understand and I won’t do that again.” As a good person, you know everyone can have an off-moment and screw up! As good people, we accept genuine apologies and give people another chance because they have been so humble and genuine with us – we respect that.

Peter will either step up and deliver ‘availability’ or mess up again. Either way, you respond accordingly, and either way you win, because you are aligned with the truth of your NEW Healthy Love Code regardless of what Peter is or isn’t choosing.

That is personal power!

By being willing to step up in this way, in deservedness, without being triggered, angry, upset or frustrated – just clear and empowered – you spiritually graduate. You can wear your graduation cloak!

Your Inner-standing just launched as your real-life reality.

Source / Life / The Universe can now bring you a match for this truth – and WILL! It’s Quantum Law, as absolute as gravity, it cannot NOT work.

Exercise 4:
Write out what you will do in deservedness when your painful Love Code presents. How will you be different? Does this feel doable for you yet?

 

Step 5 – Healthy Boundaries When Connecting

It’s important when meeting people to take your time and ascertain them maturely and healthily. It’s risky and foolhardy to let people into your heart, mind, bed, body, home and finances before you know who they are.

Oh boy, did I used to do that!

Good people respect you and value you more for healthy boundaries because this is how they operate. Bad people get flushed out. They don’t like it because if you work out who they are they can’t exploit you.

Most of us were trained from an early age not to have boundaries or to speak up. We may have been overpowered, not granted sacred spaces, and could have been criticised, rejected, abandoned or punished (C.R.A.P) when we tried to assert what felt okay.

Most of us did not know our rights or how to enforce them. Maybe we thought successful boundaries required someone else to ‘agree’ with them. That isn’t the truth – only YOU must agree with your boundary!

Whatever the circumstances, if you have uncomplicated healthy boundaries, these will very quickly reveal other people for who they are. Boundary setting becomes organic after working through steps 1 – 4 and then having some boundary training.

Healthy boundaries provide safety in dating. When I teach safety, I feel like a mamma bear protecting her cubs. That’s why I’m so passionate about it!

This includes not meeting people in their homes – it MUST be public places. If you want to create a relationship with someone, don’t have sex before ascertaining their character, compatibility, and commitment to exclusivity.

When dating or in an exclusive relationship, have your own life and retain that life. It’s important that two ‘whole’ people come together to have a healthy relationship.

There is more, and we have a whole week dedicated to Safety and Power In Dating during the Quantum Dating Bootcamp.

Question 5:
Where in your life did you not speak up or lay boundaries and got hurt? What do you need to do differently to ensure you can take great care of yourself?

On a scale of 1-10 (1 being not at all and 10 being totally), how comfortable are you (feel in your body) in knowing how to place boundaries, not trying to fix and change people, and following through with YOUR truth?”

 

Step 6 – Connecting With Your Soul Tribe and Soul Mate

You are now living in the consciousness of mating your soul. You know your truth, you are emerging more authentically and free to be yourself, knowing your deservedness and choosing ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, whilst allowing everyone to be themselves.

You are taking your time to ascertain people maturely and respectfully while building and creating your life.

The Great Divide is happening in your life: bad people and the memories of them are fading away, many people in your existing life are dropping off, and those with whom you have more authentic relationships are stepping up. New and good people are moving into your life experience.

So now let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.

How do you say ‘yes’ to deeper critical connections – like a business partnership or ESPECIALLY an intimate love partner?

How do you know that these people are the real deal?

One of the greatest things to recognise is that healthy connections feel completely different from toxic attractions. They feel warm, calm and safe instead of being electric, anxiety-provoking roller coasters.

Before going through step 3, ‘healthy’ could feel listless to you – like ‘I’m NOT attracted!’. Whereas in steps 1-5 (especially 3) ‘healthy’ will feel attractive in a much more natural and wholesome way.

The feeling of love fills your heart with care, kindness and respect.

There is a big shift in how these relationships travel. There is honesty and realness, which is much more mature than playing games. You both share and listen. When sex comes, it is lovemaking of the soul, not a shallow or physical performance.

Yes, of course, you have challenges. Yet because there is care and teamwork, these experiences strengthen the relationship into deeper respect, love and growth. Healthy relationships spiral upwards, not downwards as toxic relationships do.

Rather than self-interest, control and one partner overpowering the other, there is self-actualisation and freedom resulting in the flow of shared power. Together Everyone Achieves More (TEAM).

You may think this is extraordinary. I can assure you it’s not. With narcissistic abuse, what we are used to is deeply abnormal and warped. There are MANY people on the planet you can have healthy relationships, and you don’t need many!

For your love partner, you only need ONE!

Being healthy in this sense is not just normal, essential and acceptable. It is fulfilling – not boring at all when you are healthy enough to seek it, be it and accept it. Healthy relationships grant you the foundation to create the life of your dreams.

Exercise 6:
Feel into and write what characteristics your healthy Soul Tribe and Soul Mate relationships would have. How does this feel for you? What dreams would you love to create if you had support and a compatible life partner?

After answering these questions, feel into “How possible does this feel for me?” Feel the answer in your body and give yourself a rating of 10.

Take note of this rating, which will shift higher as you shift, heal and grow towards your True Love Goals.

 

Conclusion

I hope you have enjoyed these 6 steps and that they make sense for you as much as I have enjoyed sharing them with you.

Personally, and through my connection to more previously abused people, I know that love does not need to be Russian roulette and that we don’t have to be lonely or keep on unconsciously choosing toxic relationships.

We CAN change ourselves, to change Love for ourselves.

As I mentioned, my Love Bootcamp (named Quantum Dating Bootcamp) starts on 18th April 2023 – this applies if you want LOVE to be healed in any capacity.

It can also help if you want to be prepared in case of a ‘blow-in’, which is when a love interest randomly crosses your path. You will know how to deal with it because you will be armed well!

You can register for Quantum Dating Bootcamp by clicking here.

NB: If you can’t make any of the Dating Bootcamp sessions live, all of the life-changing and LOVE-creating materials and healings are recorded and yours for life.

Time is running out, so don’t miss your chance to register!

As always, I love responding to your questions and comments!