Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Stop Playing Small And Shine Your Light

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 4
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Have you ever had the feeling that you are invisible?

Or … maybe deep inside you feel like you need to be.

I know that sooooo many of us during and after (and possibly even way before) narcissistic abuse felt like this …

If I stick my head out and BE myself it’s just NOT worth it because I could be critiqued, invalidated, rejected or ridiculed.

And, for many of us, the scared feelings of ‘being out there as ourselves’ were even more terrifying. Because really they equated to feeling like we could be literally annihilated.

100%, as a result of being in a narcissistic relationship, we were diminished horrifically … and the truth was many of us already had a startling predisposition to squashing our True Selves even before this happened.

That is exactly what today’s The Thriver’s Life episode is all about – what this has meant to our lives, why it is so vital for us as Thrivers to free ourselves from this bondage, and precisely HOW we can achieve our inner and outer freedom.

 

 

Video Transcript

Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series … the creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.

Today’s topic is one of my favourites, because this is one which has plagued me greatly, so much so that I’ve needed to do a lot of work around it – namely the fear of shining my Light and playing Large in life.

I adore the beloved Marianne Williamson’s quote, which many of you will be familiar with:

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’

 

Why Do We Have a Fear of Shining Our Light?

And she is so right, but this is NOT what we were taught. Through admonishment and being told ‘children are seen and not heard’ or even being punished for expressing our unique selves, so many people in my generation are naturally repressed. We are terrified about fully being ourselves. This differs from many children of today who were raised with greater opportunities and encouragement of self-expression.

And … not to take anything away from men who were also dimmed down, in regard to my sisters there is an enormous female collective wound of ‘playing small’. In so many women’s DNA is a terror about speaking out, having her own dreams and rights, and being in her power. Centuries ago women were burned at the stake by the millions for being women expressing their womanhood. And it’s only less than 150 years ago that the suffragette movement was orchestrated by incredibly brave women, who against all odds, started to allow women to have rights in the developed modern world. Tragically, in many parts of the world, this is still not the case.

As Thrivers, regardless of if we are male or female, this part of the puzzle is essential – being ourselves, shining our light and playing our Life out loud in a big way.

How else can we connect to our dharmas? How else are we going to be a soul fully expressed as Source flowing through us as us? Will we be able to actualise our missions and make this world a better place by revolutionising relationships and systems, if we hide out, tuck ourselves away and dim down?

No!

Are we able to be fully happy without living as our True Self?

No!

And, this is why this The Thriver’s Life episode is so important, because most of us who were narcissistically abused already had a predisposition to hand our power away, dim down, walk on broken glass and keep ourselves ‘small’ so as not to put other people’s noses out of joint.

Many people believe that narcissists went after us for our light. Yes, that was true, but they also could only target us if we were not fully and powerfully anchored in it. And even though we were giving and capable people, who had a lot to offer people, we were still precariously stuck in the beliefs that other people were bigger, stronger and more capable than us. We were not healthily partnered in our own power and light, and it was the smaller, broken, terrified to stand fully in the light places within us that subconsciously decided: ‘You narcissist are my Source of self and I need to do all I can to retain you so that you can love me and keep me safe.’

Until we become a True Source to Self, False Sources can be very alluring – it’s like the glitter that wasn’t the gold.

Additionally, many of us have literally come from epigenetic wounds or past life embedded traumas in our energy fields, in regards to having to go underground literally or cloak our true identities, because if we were discovered for who we really were, we would be eliminated. Maybe we were the wrong race, or religion, or held beliefs against the system that deemed us as heretics.

So, was it any wonder, that when the narcissist grandstanded, took center stage and demanded that all and sundry gravitate around him or her (or be punished) that we stayed and acquiesced. We weren’t free to express our dreams and missions. We lost ourselves, our resources and health that was needed for these dreams and missions, as we let the narcissist siphon all of that out in our attempt to survive.

So within, so without – we replay in our subsequent lifetimes and evolution the composition of our emotional energy fields. If all of this was previously familiar to ourselves and/or our ancestors, we can be highly susceptible to living the same again – until we go inside and release and reprogram these traumas.

 

Freeing Our True Selves

After recovery from narcissistic abuse, not only do we need to heal the deep traumas and fractures that narcissistic abuse activates within us, we also need to find a way, going forward, to be our Truest Selves, so that we vibrate in a Universe where False Selves are as repelled by us as a vampire is by a bright spotlight. And the greatest way that we ever achieve this is by freeing and then no longer dimming down and hiding our True Selves away.

Let me share with you my terrors regarding this topic, which I know is so many of yours as well.

I certainly believed if I exposed who I was that I would be targeted, torn down (even annihilated) or people would abandon me, compete with me or invalidate me (which is painful). So … as a result of this, I wouldn’t let people know how I really was. I felt, ‘What is the point?’

Additionally, I also strongly believed ‘Men can not tolerate capable and powerful women. You MUST dim down to have a man because you can’t have a man and your mission.’

(I know many many women in the community have struggled with this one also!)

Fortunately, totally expressing who I am, is something that I have been able to do in this community, and I have healed my beliefs at that level. I also have healthy beliefs that men can accept accomplished women as their partners – that definitely no longer plagues me. However, I 100% know that I still have work to do on my close intimate relationships in regard to ‘who I am’.

Can a love partner fully share in and be interested in what I do and my mission? Also, if you were to meet me out socially – still to this day – I can struggle with expressing who I am and what I do. I am much more likely to ask other people about their lives and have conversations centered around that, and personally fade into the background.

Yes, I know I am doing my mission enmasse through MTE, but really isn’t there countless other people I could be touching and inspiring in everyday life as well? Don’t people come together in the most random ways for a reason?

And, as I am creating thus episode for you – right now – I know I have still more work to do around this topic. Much more in fact.

Okay, so let’s all together now look at the beliefs that need work and shifting to fully claim and be our Light – for self, others and our planet. I fully suggest working with the Goal Setting Module in NARP, or with your Empowered Self Course Module Work with the following inner work.

My suggestion is to start by clearing all the resistance to these goals.

  • I am free and safe to be myself
  • As my True Self, I am bringing heaven onto earth, for the greatest divinity for myself and others.
  • As my True Self, I am heard, seen and met healthily in abundance.
  • As my True Self, I unlock others and inspire them to be their True Selves also.
  • As my True Self, I am God Godding / Source Sourcing / Creation Creating (whatever works for you). This is the most correct and natural state for me to ever be.

Now let’s look at the specific wounds that we may need to target to clear (and I suggest clearing everything that feels limiting).

  • If I am my True Self I will be abandoned / annihilated / rejected / invalidated / ignored / punished (However it feels to you).

That specific inner work will help you so much! And … this is what I find exciting – how awesome it is that in this day and age, we can be ourselves in so many ways. We can get our messages out, we can have our beliefs and we can express who we are. This is the Golden Age of powerfully being able to create change IF we throw off our shackles and really claim and express Who We Are.

So are we in? I am. In fact, I’m going to go do Empowered Self Quanta Freedom Healing shift work on this stuff as soon as I can!

Okay, I really do believe that this episode will resonate with many of you … it’s a really big and important topic and I’d love you to share with me your thoughts and feelings about this.

And, I’m so excited to answer your comments and questions regarding this episode!

Remember, after narcissistic abuse recovery, gloriously we take it further!

Why?

Because we CAN!

Lots of love, bye bye.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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56 Thoughts on How To Stop Playing Small And Shine Your Light
  • teriashmeria@gmail.com'
    Violet Spectre
    July 24, 2018

    Holy Guacamole, Dear Quantum Guru, thank God you decided to shine!
    Sooo needed this. xoxoxox and much much love!

    • teriashmeria@gmail.com'
      Violet Spectre
      July 24, 2018

      Oh…and just an idea. A while ago you did an episode with a healing in it and it was super duper powerful. I got a lot more out of it than usual (and you know I am a dedicated NARPer). Sooo much of what you mentioned here really does ride on the female DNA. I finally had to do a “source resolution and healing” on sooooo many things because it was just all Ancient Female Wounding that kept coming, and coming….and coming.
      I don’t want to leave out the guys, because I really benefit from their presence in this community- but I think a Female Wounding episode would be beneficial for many of us. I know a lot of this is still lurking in there-and I think you’re bang on that it manifests as dimming down. Now that I’m free of my Narc (we’ve got a kid-but he just doesn’t push my buttons anymore-he literally can’t)- successfully dodged other potentially disastrous relationships and am crafting my new life- I’m banging up against all of these Ancient Female Wounds again. Yeesh! I think if you could do something with that that had a healing in it well- Kapow! It would really jumpstart the thriving for those of us who have healed enough to begin to do that, and it would be, I think, immeasurably beneficial for those at the beginning of their healing journey.
      Again Mel, thank God you found your voice, your strength and the Grace to invent QFH…shine on lovely lady!!!!xoxo

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        July 24, 2018

        Hi Violet,

        Most definely hun there are going to be very pinpointed healings coming up … I’ll put this to the team!

        So much love to you! It is our time to break free and through.

        All of us … men and women.

        Mel 🙏💕❤️

        • Jenniferadolph@ymail.com'
          Jennifer Adolph
          July 24, 2018

          I love the ancient wisdom in Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book Women Who Run With The Wolves. Women are strong, curious, and fearless in our wild state. We may be friendly, but we are decidedly not tame.

          Reclaiming the ancient feminine strength that is my original DNA is an exciting process. The epigenetic wounds are real. My mother’s rules were passed down to me, as were passed from HER mother as learned helplessness.

          My experience with Source of All encompasses both masculine and feminine strength. I’m so grateful for MTE and the Thriver community. Each lesson comes at exactly the right time!

          • Melanie Tonia Evans
            July 25, 2018

            Hi Jennifer,

            I totally agree with you and thank you for your beautiful post!

            Mel 🙏💕❤️

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      And you too darling Violet!

      So glad this was great timing for you!

      Shine On Dear Sister.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • latranquila@gmail.com'
    John Jackson
    July 24, 2018

    Thank you Melanie, for being you, for being so shinny, open and giving. You have helped me so much! I am on the journey of selfpartnering and healing and starting to thrive thanks so much to you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Awwww John,

      Thank you for your beautiful words and I am so pleased you are on the path!

      Bless you 😀

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • greg.frazer1@bigpond.com'
    Linda Frazer
    July 24, 2018

    Wow this really did resonate with me and I feel very keen to start healing. It has made me think though especially where you said if I am my true self I will be abandoned, rejected, annihilated and so on…..if this is how you were treated epigenetically and in this life where is the switch (or is there many more factors) that make you the narcissist or the receiver of a narcissist. Thank you so much for this episode xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Hi Linda,

      That is such a good question. Those who are concerned for and respecting others tend to ‘people please ‘and those who distinctly separate and distrust tend to adopt the survival trategy of ‘me versus you’. Hence the codependent and the narcissist.

      It’s great that you wish to heal and I’d love you to check out my free inner transformational resources (if you haven’t already) that put you on the direct path regarding ‘how to’.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Sarojani.naidoo@gmail.com'
    Sarojani
    July 24, 2018

    Dearest Melanie
    I have been manipulated to be small and invisible all my life and now I have been reborn…I am shining and living my life exactly as I want to.
    Thankyou so much for all your help .Lots of love and keep shining your light on others who need you.💕

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Awww Sarojani,

      I am so happy to hear that.

      Many continued blessings and power to you!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • beckyburtch@hotmail.com'
    Rebecca
    July 24, 2018

    Perfect timing, thank you! I’m having a hard time moving forward claiming and expressing who I really am. It’s been difficult because I have been unwell and isolated for several years. I’m so grateful for your help! ❤

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Hi Rebecca,

      That’s great this was timely and has helped!

      Sending you healing, blessings and breakthrough.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • melrpotter@gmail.com'
    Melissa Swales
    July 24, 2018

    Thank you Melanie!

    I have had feelings like I’m being ingnored, not heard or responded to while in the same room with my ex and other powerful people. It has affected me and I’ve come to recognize when it is happening. When others around me acknowledge what I have shared but those in power act as if my words were never heard or spoken. It makes a person feel invisible and not worthy of anything maybe more so after narcissistic abuse. It could reaffirm those negative thoughts and has for me.

    I’m going to keep this message close and if ever I am in this position again, I will replay what you have taught us.

    Thank you for helping me take my power back!

    Hugs,
    Melissa

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Hi Melissa,

      Inner belief systems can be so insidious and play out to the letter.

      It’s very hard to beat them unless we find and uplevel them! If you get a charge on ‘authority has all the power I have none’ you may relate that there is a wound in there!

      I hope this helps!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Derekspearson@gmail.com'
    Derek Pearson
    July 24, 2018

    Tania, God is working through you!!

    Shine bright

  • lydiachikumbi@gmail.com'
    lydia
    July 24, 2018

    Thank you Mel, you are such a blessing!
    I’m forever grateful for your light

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      It’s my pleasure Lydia!

      Much love and many blessings to you Dear Lady!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • r.frangiosa@hotmail.com'
    Possum
    July 24, 2018

    Hi Mel
    You are the last person who I would imagine struggling with not allowing your true self to light up. You are an inspiration to so many. And I can definitely relate to feeling invisible and fading into the background. In everyday, life, not just N related.
    However I am getting better at being honest with myself, and shutting out speculation/judgement re what others think or feel about me.
    Your powerful words of being able to ‘lose it all, to gain it all’ are a constant reminder to myself that I choose not to live a diminished life. There is so much to experience and learn, by simply radiating yourself.
    Thank you

    Xxxx 💖

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Oh gosh Possum,

      I sooo have!

      I love that you are doing so well with your authentic alignment to your True Self.

      Keep Up the great work!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • sherswares@gmail.com'
    Sherry
    July 24, 2018

    My concern is all the junk will show up. If I were to be authentic, at this point, I would probably hurt others. I have so much hurt and baggage I would say things I don’t mean.
    I’m working on your first series and slowly see some results. I’m 65 and when I see the little me, I finally realized I was an embryo. I was shocked.
    Anyway, I’ll keep on keeping on, hoping there is hope for me. Thank you Melonie. You’re my life line.
    Sincerely, Sherry

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 24, 2018

      Hi Sherry,

      Please know there is hope for you, and how wonderful you have turned inwards to dedicate to the inner work.

      You are sooo going to make it!

      Sending healing, love and blessings.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    July 24, 2018

    I just finished reading a book about traumas and the author says that even loosing car keys or your wallet is a trauma…

  • sherswares@gmail.com'
    Sherry
    July 24, 2018

    Thank you Mel. ❣

  • darcylynnb@hotmail.com'
    Darcy
    July 24, 2018

    As usual, such perfect timing! I was just discussing last night with a dear friend who is also on the healing/thriving journey how we are both experiencing the resistance/avoidance/fear that comes up when we set the intention for actions/goals, behaviors or ways of being that involve taking our lives to the next level. I can always feel so clearly when I am coming from my “adult” self and my “child” self and you have so beautifully reminded us yet again, how deeply important it is to validate and heal the “child” (or ancient self’s) trauma/wounding so we are not continuing to dim our light, living in fear as we come from that wounded energy. I can so relate to what others are saying and especially about not feeling comfortable being around those who I perceive to have more power (I feel myself reverting to the child-self internally). Also, loved Violet’s suggestion – I’ve been thinking the same thing! I so deeply appreciate your work and for you being your wonderful self and providing such incredible content and support to your community! Thank you and a big hug to you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 25, 2018

      Awww Darcy,

      It sounds to me like you are on the cusp of a huge breakthrough into your light!

      So much love and a huge hug to you too!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • blairjenn@yahoo.com'
    Jennifer Blair
    July 24, 2018

    Good morning! I loved this talk. Yes I have felt this way for years. Was raised in IT and married into it. My question is if by doing something I enjoy and may not be good at right away but shines light on me and others and bring me immense happiness Is this feeling Large instead of small? I think I know the answer but would love to hear your thoughts.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 25, 2018

      Hi Jennifer,

      It absolutely is!

      If it feels great and nourishing to your soul, it is full of light and Who You Really Are.

      Go for it!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jennysherrell@gmail.com'
    Jenny
    July 24, 2018

    This is exactly where I am – I’ve been treading water seeing both sides and knowing I have to take action but not knowing what action to take – wanting so much to have the courage to be me – and yet feeling tied down by the false beliefs that I still so strongly associate with. I’m going to look into your suggestions. Thank you again Melanie for being on target as usual.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 25, 2018

      Hi Jenny,

      It’s my pleasure!

      Great power and clarity will come when you target these blocks.

      Bless you!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • loreleew@telus.net'
    Lorelee
    July 25, 2018

    Re: Violet’s suggestion for Ancient Female Wounding: Yes! In one session working through a module, I literally became an observer as I cleared an issue through my maternal line – mother, grandmother and great grandmother. In another I saw a sea of Muslin women in hijab in front of me as I was clearing an issue re: invisibility. Collectively, we could be quite a force to clear female wounding. What about holding a life Facebook or Zoom session where we work collectively, live, on this topic?

    Really appreciated this session.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 25, 2018

      Hi Lorelee,

      Every time one of us clears our wounds we are uplevelling for the entire collective.

      I agree a group session would be powerful and I’ll put it to the MTE team.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Laurievaldez1@icloud.com'
    Laurie
    July 25, 2018

    Thank you Melanie for this video. I really appreciate everything you do. You help me think in a different direction and that is so helpful right now because my mind is so scattered. Can you please tell me if you’re Empowered program is included in the gold package because I do not see it. And also I love your blog and I watch you on YouTube and was wondering when you’re going to do another Q&A? I do not have any kind of social media at all and I look forward to all your videos and expertise on all your subjects for us NARPERS! So could you please let me know about your Empowered program and also when you will be doing your next Q&A on YouTube. Thank you so much for all your help

  • rebecca.njoki007@gmail.com'
    Rebecca
    July 25, 2018

    Melanie Tonia Evans,

    I always confirm to you that you are God Sent to me because you sends me exactly what i really need urgently and what is going on in my healing process.

    NO CONTACT is everything in all my stages of healing. Today i feel so light, no anger even when triggered to anger, no bitterness, i am people’s person and i like it, a church choir member.

    To confirm to you that i am not playing small rather I am trying to shine my light, next week i will be giving a sermon (preaching) to my choir fellowship members. Dear i really have a hunger and thirst to shine and be myself instead of fearing and shrinking because of people comments.

    God please bless Melanie Tonia Evans for she has been my guide and help us thrive and shine for your Glory.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 25, 2018

      Hi Rebecca,

      I love that you are standing tall and shining your light!

      You are being and doing it and so many blessings to you Dear Lady!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • egangemi27@gmail.com'
    Emily
    July 25, 2018

    Dear Melanie,

    Could you please advise me, what is the starting point for this? How do I even begin to find out who my true self is? Or what my mission in life is or was supposed to be? I feel totally lost. I don’t even know what my dreams are anymore or if I have any.

    I was blessed to have had a wonderful education. I was poised to have a fantastic career that would make good use of the talents I had been born with and honed through hard work. I was about to complete my Ph.D. at one of the top universities in the world. And my narcissistic husband took it all away from me.

    Fifteen years after the abuse began, I am blessed to be divorced, though still enmeshed in legal battles to protect my children. I have no career prospects. My last job was for minimum wage doing soul-destroyingingly tedious work. I have no idea what to do with my time, or how to support myself financially. I see no work whatsoever that looks like something I could get into that I would also be good at, and that would be fulfilling or useful in the world. My hopelessness about this is excruciating. I would wish I could just die if it were not for my children. If I died, they would be raised by monsters.

    Thank you for all of your work to help people and make this a better world.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 25, 2018

      Hi Emily,

      The Thriver Way That has worked for me and so many others is releasing our traumas (Who We Are Not) to unveil our True Self (Who We Really Are) which always includes the unleashing of our souls gifts and the only life that would ever truly gratify us.

      How we connect to this is make it our greatest mission to work on our inner being – period.

      Then all else follows! I don’t know of any shortcut to this.

      You and you inner being and healing yourself back to wholeness has to matter more than anything. I can put you directly on this path …

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      Sending much love and healing to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • roma4amor@gmail.com'
    Deanna
    July 25, 2018

    Hi Mel!

    BRILLIANT!!!! BRILLIANT!!!! BRILLIANT!!!!
    If I could make the above text huge and colorful with fireworks around it, I certainly would.

    You are such a wonderful and inspired leader with a GREAT way of articulating concepts.

    I love how you put this in perspective by including the history of women in general on this topic plus of course the “now” as well.
    This is EXACTLY the topic that I have been wrestling with. You articulate all of it SO well.
    Thank you for the goals to use with the goal setting module. I knew I need to do QFH on this topic but I have a hard time articulating the goals. I also LOVE that you incorporate into the goals that not only are we helping ourselves by upleveling, we then are better equipped to help others. Helping ourselves means we have more to give to others–in a healthy rather than codependent way.

    The vampire analogy is PRICELESS. I have found that when I do “shine my light”, the vampires around me DO revile it. Yet, I have found that they actually fight back even harder to maintain their own status quo. I don’t know what to do with that yet. But I am on the path to learning it. I have had both kinds of situations: ones where the vampires can’t touch me and others where I HAVE been annihilated in regard to that particular situation no matter how empowered or upleveled my responses were. In the long run, the “annihilation” was a catalyst for much better things, but the wounds from the battle were REALLY rough even though the war itself is in the process of being won. Regardless of how upleveled we become, there are still some REALLY evil and nasty people out there that are determined to annihilate someone they see as a threat to their status quo paticularly in business where ego and power struggles run rampant.
    Therefore, my approach based on the last very hard lesson that I learned, is actually to continue to uplevel and empower myself EVEN MORE in the hopes that if/when I bump into these vampire terrorists, I will have better tools with which to continue to shine my light regardless of what I might bump into.
    In my case, when this happened, my self-esteem and my sense of self-worth were in the toilet. Thus I was actually easy prey for the vampire terrorist. I would actually continue to annihilate and demean myself where the vampire terrorists left off. I actually was one of my own worst enemies! I am happy to say that the QFH modules and your videos have been a HUGE help with changing that. Yet I still have more work to do in this area. And for this, this particular video with the goals you have so wonderfully laid out is one of the ways that I am going to begin to clear myself and heal on this topic.

    As always, thanks a million!! xoxoxo
    You just keep getting better and better!!!!!!!
    Much love,
    Deanna

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2018

      Awwww Deanna,

      I am so pleased this resonated with you and that you now have an ever greater guideline to burst forward into your radiance!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Ilona.rocka@yahoo.co.uk'
    ILona
    July 26, 2018

    Beautiful words! Hope you’ll feel better soon
    💕🌸🌼🌸

  • rowenascotney@btinternet.com'
    Rowena Scotney
    July 26, 2018

    Hi Mel,

    Thank you so much! I’m going to do this now with the Goal Setting Module 🙂 Such a wonderful episode (as they all are!)x

    Rowena x

    • rowenascotney@btinternet.com'
      Rowena
      July 26, 2018

      oops, eek! – I didn’t mean to have my whole name there….but it’s a good visible start! x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2018

      Awww Rowena,

      You are welcome and I’m thrilled you enjoyed this and are into it!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • cmarekmatejka@gmail.com'
    Wildflower
    July 26, 2018

    Melanie, I really sensed a vulnerability in you in this episode that I haven’t seen before. Maybe because you are not feeling well, but it feels deeper.

    I just want to say that I appreciate beyond words what you do for us all in this commumity, your committment, your passion and how REAL you are. It must be hard at times to be the leader and rock for all of us here all the time.

    I see you dear soul and I want to thank you and send love and strength your way today 🙋🙏💕

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 28, 2018

      Hi Wildflower,

      Your words deeply touch my heart, and absolutely that is true. Through difficult times it can be challenging!

      Thank you beautiful soul for seeing and holding me and I send so much love and best wishes to you too.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Julia_turrethall@msn.com'
    Julia
    July 27, 2018

    NARC’s are attracted to your light like moths to a flame. Like magpies they have to swoop on something that shines and dazzles them. Then they try to steal it. They are empty and envious of your sparkle. They think if they own it they become it. They watch how others respond to you and want that admiration themselves. So they set about to woo you. To win you. To take you as their own. Once they have you in their grip they suck deep and try to extract the shine from your soul drop by drop. They mistakenly think by doing this they become you. The person initially they admire. But they cannot hold on to the sparkle because it dosnt belong to them so they need a continuous supply.They copy your thoughts, your actions, they take credit for your accomplishments as if they supported you. They wear you like a badge in public but in private tear you down. They are attracted to your sparkle because they want it. Once your light is dimmed you are no longer attractive to them because they can’t extract any more of the shiny stuff. Know this… your sparkle belongs to you by birthright. It is still within you. No one can actually take it, they just know how to make you suppress it. As Einstein said, All is energy. Disengage from them immediately. Don’t feed their vile energy. Find your sparkle, dig deep. Sparkle and shine till you blind them. This is your power! They will try to woo and win you again because the shiny stuff is back, but at this time use the shiny power to force them back into their dark hole because in truth they can not stand in light.

  • jodieleah21@gmail.com'
    Jodie Oliver
    July 29, 2018

    Hi Melanie

    Have you ever done a n.a.r.p programme to help heal mother wounds? Thanks.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 29, 2018

      Hi Jodie,

      NARP is for healing wounds from any narcissist or painful relationship in our life.

      Many people have used NARP to heal
      From Mother wounds.

      After NARP the Transformating of Family Of Origin Wounds is a more specialised Program that does powerfully target our Mother and Father wounds.

      NARP is the essential first step before using this Program though.

      I hope this has answered your question!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Wolfhoundlover41@gmail.com'
    Trevis
    July 30, 2018

    Mel,
    First off thanks for being you , I love and appreciate all you have done for myself and others on this healing journey. I was kind of shocked at you taking the victim role as far as its hard to shine as a woman , please understand that the world has changed and that men are actually facing severe challenges of our own. Mens rights movement is just begining , we are all humans deserving of respect and love. I dont think its easy for anyone we all face challenges and as humans should show some understanding for each other. I know you were not being malicious, we all have to be careful of our programming. It is with love and understanding that we can help each other heal as you do so well already ,maybe its something i need to work on as it triggered me when you said women were burnt at the stake not that long ago or maybe its something we both need work on.

    With love and hope
    Wolfhound

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 31, 2018

      Hi Wolfhound,

      As a woman and with working with many women I am intimately aware of how our DNA often isn’t ‘updated’ and we feel ‘stuck’ even though we are now living in truly glorious times.

      I am also such a believer in healing for all of us and Unity Consciousness for men and women.

      All of us have been wounded and separated from ourselves, as well as divided as genders, races and religions and need love and healing.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • tsuzanne589@gmail.com'
    Tracy
    August 15, 2018

    Hi Mel Thank you for this wonderful video.It is time to work on shining our light.I am learning about boundary setting.I have looked into many areas of boundary setting.I find I am not succinct in my explanations at times. I tend to find I over explain or justify my reasons for setting boundaries as if I was defending myself. I have found that some wounded souls really let rip and project. I am successful in setting boundaries where I trust people.Shifts happen video with Bren was really useful to assist with overdoing boundaries on the narp forum.

    Could this be a topic for future videos?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 15, 2018

      Hi Tracy,

      You are very welcome. I’m so pleased that video helped. Please also google my name and the word boundaries and you will find numerous resources that I have done on this topic.

      And I definitely will be doing more about overdoing them in the future.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

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