Melanie Tonia Evans

Welcome to the Narcissism and Relationships Blog

The purpose of this blog is to grant illumination, empowerment and resources for individuals wishing to change painful love patterns, heal themselves and experience real love.

Here you will discover profound truths about yourself that will put you in the driver's seat to create a life of happiness, freedom and joy.

You can expect profound 'ah ha' moments, relief, hope and the answers to the difficult questions about love and your life that may have previously eluded you.


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Setting Goals and Aligning With What You Want Next Year

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  Can you believe it is Christmas again. Where did this year go? One thing for certain is this year was big for many, many people. So many people are experiencing great change – and how I see this is: we are all being challenged to let go of the things and people that no longer serve us in order to become a much more authentic self. Christmas time can be very challenging; it brings up a lot of stuff for us. Often we assess the year we have been through and how far we have come. Christmas is a major event, and during ... read more →

2014 Co-dependency Checkup Part 2

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  Well here we are onto Part Two of last week’s article , and I think it is really good timing. Christmas is very close, and this time of year can bring up for many people big stuff. It’s a time when young wounds can be triggered and we may fall back into co-dependent traps. I am constantly inspired by this Community, with so many people becoming authentic and realising that to varying degrees we all carry wounds and fears that have separated us from our true wholeness. I hope, as a result of reading Part One, that you now have compassion ... read more →

2014 Co-dependency Check Up

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
Some of you might remember that last year I created an article called Co-Dependency Checklist – How Far Have You Come? Because it is nearly the end of the year, I thought it would be great to reflect – to see where we are, and what progress we have made throughout the year. As sufferers of narcissistic abuse we have all played out co-dependency ... I used to be horrifically co-dependent! Co-dependency can be very serious. It leads us further away from integration of self (authentic powerfulness) and takes us down a slippery slope of disintegration of self (powerlessness) – especially if we continue ... read more →

Quanta Freedom Healing In Action From Phuket

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
I am back from overseas now, rested up a little, and I knew when I returned that I wanted to share with you one of the highlights of my trip. Something really special ... This happened at the beautiful Burasari Resort in Phuket, where with the help of two lovely volunteers, one glorious afternoon, I filmed real life Quanta Freedom Healing shifts. The reason I wanted to do these videos is because so many people ask “How does Quanta Freedom Healing work?”, and “How do you do it?”, and “How is it different to ‘hands on healing'?” It can be so hard to explain … so I wanted ... read more →

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #20 Jill

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  Today I have a very important radio show that will resonate with many people in the community. If you have suffered physical illness during or after your experience with a narcissist you are going to find this story incredibly enlightening and inspiring. This story is one of an incredibly courageous lady who suffers many debilitating auto-immune illnesses – ulcerative colitis, arthritis, fibromyalgia, migraines and Multiple Sclerosis. Jill suffers from extreme fatigue, and has no support with her 3 kids, and then all of this, naturally, was made so much harder as a result of the huge double-whammy of narcissistic abuse at the same ... read more →

The Narcissist’s Marriage To The False Self

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  We have been having a lot of discussions on Facebook, and through my articles and radio shows lately, about “ego”. We have talked about how the ego is the defences, the false stories, the “outer looking” at problems, the unconsciousness and the disconnection from self which stops us from healing, growing and evolving. In last week’s article I described how the ego can operate in our minds when we have wounds inside us – “gaps” that it can attack.  In this article I want to start off by discussing how the narcissist relates to his or her ego, and then, as always, I ... read more →

How To Show Up In Life To Best Support Yourself And Others

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  I was reading one of Neale Donald Walsch’s recent books “The Only Thing That Matters”, and he spoke about a story of a man who was lost, walking down a country road, cold and hungry, and he saw a farm house in the distance. As he walked towards it the conversation in his head was going something like this: “It’s late, the farmer will be annoyed about being disturbed. Maybe I shouldn’t bother him, he won’t be receptive.” By the time the man summoned up the courage to knock on the door he was in a high state of anxiety. When the ... read more →

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #19 Marie

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  This Thriver show features Marie, a mother of 5 children, who endured a 7 years relationship with a narcissist.During this show we chat about many things regarding narcissism, and Marie’s recovery.These included the put downs she endured, the degrading and being blamed, and how she became a literal shell of who she previously was.It was only when things became so bad, when Child Services were about to get involved, that Marie was granted a way to escape.We talk about how one of the biggest discoveries Marie made, is how co-dependent she was – and how she always had to fill ... read more →

From Being Trapped To Your Personal Freedom – Part 2

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  This week’s article is about responding to people’s trapped situations and emotions. Please, let me say my heart goes out to all of you. The loss, depression, anxiety and powerlessness that is symptomatic of being narcissistically abused is awful. The real deal for me to help you is for me to be a generator of the solutions. And this means reaching deep inside these issues, and bringing forth the truth that will get you into your power center. It means accessing the truth that will set you free. This is where my work differs, because I know that just focusing on the issues ... read more →

From Being Trapped To Your Personal Freedom – Part 1

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  Today I am writing this article in the most gorgeous cliff top restaurant in Phuket. The view is spectacular, the breeze is cooling, music is playing and I can hear the sea. I have just eaten a wonderful exotic Thai seafood and herb salad. Not so many years ago, being this way in the world felt impossible to me – like I could never, ever feel safe enough, confident enough or powerful enough to visit different countries on my own. You can follow my trip around South East Asia on my Facebook page. No matter what the outside world used to see “about me” ... read more →