Welcome to the Narcissism and Relationships Blog

The purpose of this blog is to grant illumination, empowerment and resources for individuals wishing to change painful love patterns, heal themselves and experience real love.

Here you will discover profound truths about yourself that will put you in the driver's to create a life of happiness, freedom and joy.

You can expect profound 'ah ha' moments, relief, hope and the answers to the difficult questions about love and your life that may have been previously eluded you.

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Recent Posts...

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #14 Annie

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on April 16th, 2014

I feel it is so important that I share this information with you… Because this issue affects so many people across the world. Chances are if this hasn’t affected you it has affected a family member or someone you know. I’m talking about sexual abuse… Statistics tells us that sexual abuse affects 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men. This is insane and totally not okay! The reason I feel so strongly about sharing this message is because sexual perpetrators all have the following personality traits – they seek and abuse power, objectify and de-personalise their targets and suffer from an enormous lack of conscience and empathy. Sexual predators and abusers ARE narcissists! I also know with the work that I have done with thousands of people, that many people in this Community at some point in their life have been sexually abused. In this week’s blog I have an amazing story about a woman named Annie who suffered intense abuse from her birth family (including sexual abuse). Annie’s inspiring story will be extremely helpful to anyone who has or knows someone who has suffered sexual abuse. Annie and I are PASSIONATE about getting this message out there, … read more

New MTE Look And Changes You Need To Know About

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on April 11th, 2014

There has been LOTS of exciting things going on behind the scenes… and now it’s time to start letting you know! So…this is a quick blog post to let you know what’s happening, and the changes that myself and my amazing MTE team have been working on since the start of the year. The first is a whole new look website.  The team is cleaning up certain pages,  making it easier for you to get to the content you need, and I just know it is going to make your experience here even more enjoyable. Also… in this post I’m am going to share a little sneak peak of the new website!!! I was amazed beyond description when the team showed me what they had put together… words cannot describe how thrilled I am with this whole new fresh look! I also want to let you know about exciting LIVE events I will be holding soon, which I’ll tell you about in a minute… Also, as time goes by and the community grows larger, I have to make some changes  to make sure I don’t deplete my energy, so that I can keep providing you with articles, radio shows and everything else that I do… This relates to a change I’m making to the NARP Program, and … read more

Shouldn’t We Make The Narcissist Accountable?

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on April 9th, 2014
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Truly…I hear this question all the time… Even people on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program can agonise with this question. This is how they present it to me… “Melanie please tell me WHY I shouldn’t hold him / her accountable!” and, “WHY shouldn’t he / she PAY from what he / she did?!” In fact this is one of the greatest (if not the greatest) stumbling blocks to creating a Thriver recovery. In this article I address why trying to gain accountability from the narcissist is one of the biggest pitfalls you can make one – one that can severely disable you getting well. This article is ALL about this topic, and how accountability and the system of life really works.   The System of Life To become effective humans, there are certain base line understandings we need to realise – IF we want the painful aspects of our life to change… The fundamental Law that affects everything in our life without exception is Law of Attraction. This means “Like energy is drawn to itself”. Sadly Law of Attraction is viewed by many as ‘airy fairy’ or ‘New Agey’, yet Quantum Science now quantifiably matches spiritual understandings – and what this means is: … read more

The Difference Between The Inner Child And The Ego

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on April 3rd, 2014
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What is our Inner Child? What is our ego? Are they somehow intertwined? I get emails from people wanting to know what the difference is…often enough that I thought it was time to do an article on this. Maybe you too are not sure which of you is these parts, and even if there is a difference. Maybe you are not sure what these parts are, or even if they exist. Unravelling these questions was huge for me personally – and once I cracked this simple understanding, my personal growth and inner freedom leapt ahead in leaps and bounds – and I know yours will too. I had a conversation recently with a friend of mine. He has been doing a lot of shift work with Quanta Freedom Healing, and has found some very resistant egoic patterns. He realised ‘that voice’ which was piping up and saying things like “Stop being angry, you’re not a nice person”, or “I’m really irritated with (that person) because of (fill in the gap)”, was his ego. He said his ego was driving him crazy – because he didn’t want to be an angry person, and he didn’t want to experience the painful peptides of … read more

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #13 Jessica

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on March 26th, 2014
Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #13

This is one of the CRAZIEST interviews I have ever done regarding narc abuse. It is about how we can be narc abused – even when NOT in a relationship with a narc… This story is astounding – and you will really relate to it if you ever thought a) I am going crazy, and b) I feel so embarrassed and ridiculous because of what is happening to me. What’s also incredible about this story is that it has the most GORGEOUS magic romantic fairy-tale ending… And not the ‘made up’ kind!!!! I don’t want to give it away – so please click the play button above or you can read the transcript of the show below.   Jess could you please share your narcissistic abuse story? The first time I ever laid eyes on the narcissist, I was in college and he was working as an assistant in my dorm. I would often walk by him and was immediately drawn to him, I found myself ridiculously attracted to him in a weird way that was much more than physical, and for some reason I felt we had a connection immediately. I was so drawn to this man and eventually I got … read more

The Narcissist is a Chameleon and an Empty Void

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on March 20th, 2014
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  This article is about one of my most recent anchorings into truth. I love how the journey of self unfolds, and as more and more of my illusions (the fear and pain in my body) gets shifted out, how there is the ability to just naturally know things. I think many of you can relate – that when you up-level from your previous self, a whole new world opens up – a world and life that starts making so much sense. When we shift consciousness, it feels like the lamp shade comes off our head – and we see clearly… … understandings that truly explain what went on, and understandings that take so much of the pain away and offer so much release, up-levelling and expansion. I hope you enjoy this article!   The Many Faces of the Narcissist For a long time I have been really astounded and fascinated by the ability of the narcissist to have so many faces. From a personal and professional experience I have witnessed the following over and over: The narcissist can be a completely different person with different people, and the narcissist has the ability to wear one ‘hat’, and then take … read more

The Narcissist And Co-dependent – Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on March 13th, 2014
Two Sides Of The Same Coin

  I know this title may seem judgemental or even offend some people. “How on earth can you compare to me a narcissist – by putting me on the same coin?” So much of the public, and many experts and therapists believe that it is the differences between narcissists and their targets which bring them together. Yes, yes and yes – on the surface that theory appears to be 100% accurate… However I believe ‘Takers gravitate to givers’, ‘opposites attract’ is only a tiny part of the truth. It is only looking at the surface… There is something much deeper going on as to why co-dependents and narcissists attract and in this article I’m going to explain why it’s not our DIFFERENCES but actually our SIMILARITIES that bring us together. By understanding this vital concept you will be able to identify the parts of yourself that make you a target for narcissist’s and move another step closer to ending the cycle of abuse and dissatisfying relationships in your life. What my intention is with articles such as this – is to help you get to the truth in order to heal your life. This article is about deeply understanding the … read more

Thrivers After Narcissistic Abuse In LA

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on March 6th, 2014
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I have arrived back in Melbourne, and upon reflection of my wonderful trip to LA two of the hugest highlights were the Thriver meetups. They were held where I was staying at the Hyatt Regency, West Hollywood. Unfortunately because of the weather forecast of heavy storms, many people who were travelling to these events and driving long distances wisely cancelled. Originally there were 40 people for the Friday night dinner and 36 for the Saturday lunch, which was going to be in the alfresco area which had adequate tables and seating. Because of the weather forecast by the RSVP date there were ten people for the dinner and ten individuals for the lunch. What was ‘meant to be’ was an extra person came to the dinner, and an extra six people arrived for the lunch date, and the Hyatt staff generously created additional seating arrangements. I apologise to all the people who tried to confirm at the last moment… I simply couldn’t accommodate you, because the Hyatt required definite seating numbers for the meetups which needed to be indoors due to the weather. What transpired was an intimate group of people who joined together to connect – which happened organically and gloriously! … read more

LA Talk Radio Show and What I’ve Been Up To in LA

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on March 1st, 2014
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There has been so much MAGIC occur while I have been on my trip to Los Angeles. I am still here, and I am in awe of how Life just keeps supplying experience and miracle one after the other. Thank you so much LA people for embracing me and this mission whilst I have been staying here! I am going home to Australia on Sunday, but before doing so I wanted to quickly write this article and share some of the highlights with you. It is so incredible what happens when you surrender to ‘the field of Life’ and decide to show up with authenticity and through your heart. When we have cleared a lot of our pain and fear and say “Yes” to Life as a complete surrender TOTALLY unattached to outcomes – Life responds by supplying a “Yes” ten-fold in return. That has certainly been my experience…MORE than I could have ever dreamed of. My US trip came about via an invite to a weekend resort with a very dear friend with her friends. This was the original reason I came to the United States. Before deciding to agree to go, I had dinner with a wonderful man … read more

My Journey To An Evolutionary Love Relationship – Part 2

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans on February 28th, 2014
My Journey To Evolutionary Love

  I hope you enjoyed Part One of ‘My Journey To An Evolutionary Relationship’, and if you are single and ready to start magnetising a wonderful relationship, that it assisted you with your deliberate relationship creation. This article is the actual details of my dating experiences! Truly there may be need to be a Part Three to this series…I’m not sure…after all I am now in the United States, and there is plenty of socialising taking place in amongst business meetings. Even though I am internet dating in Australia, the truth is ‘my beloved’ could turn up anywhere. I am intimately aware that ‘the field’ Source / Life / God has permutations, possibilities and ‘chance meetings’ available that I could not even possibly dream of! I know that I could meet my future partner anywhere – in any country… But let’s look at what I have been up to!   Not Waiting to Be ‘In Love’ I did a post on facebook during the week, which was about how it isn’t appropriate to wait for a person to come along in order to ‘get’ a life. The truth is when we build and ‘be’ our life, then the person who fits … read more