Melanie Tonia Evans

Welcome to the Narcissism and Relationships Blog

The purpose of this blog is to grant illumination, empowerment and resources for individuals wishing to change painful love patterns, heal themselves and experience real love.

Here you will discover profound truths about yourself that will put you in the driver's seat to create a life of happiness, freedom and joy.

You can expect profound 'ah ha' moments, relief, hope and the answers to the difficult questions about love and your life that may have previously eluded you.


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From Being Trapped To Your Personal Freedom – Part 2

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  This week’s article is about responding to people’s trapped situations and emotions. Please, let me say my heart goes out to all of you. The loss, depression, anxiety and powerlessness that is symptomatic of being narcissistically abused is awful. The real deal for me to help you is for me to be a generator of the solutions. And this means reaching deep inside these issues, and bringing forth the truth that will get you into your power center. It means accessing the truth that will set you free. This is where my work differs, because I know that just focusing on the issues ... read more →

From Being Trapped To Your Personal Freedom – Part 1

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  Today I am writing this article in the most gorgeous cliff top restaurant in Phuket. The view is spectacular, the breeze is cooling, music is playing and I can hear the sea. I have just eaten a wonderful exotic Thai seafood and herb salad. Not so many years ago, being this way in the world felt impossible to me – like I could never, ever feel safe enough, confident enough or powerful enough to visit different countries on my own. You can follow my trip around South East Asia on my Facebook page. No matter what the outside world used to see “about me” ... read more →

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  This article is one that has been inspired as a result of a comment that a lady named Jean posted on my latest blog article … “‘Am I carrying enough darkness (fear) regarding my own security and survival that I need to learn the lesson of NOT selling my soul out to abuse to try to survive?’ FEAR = Darkness…here I thought I was a 'lightworker type.' Getting it!” Jean’s comment inspired me to realise how so many “lightworkers” (good people) are in deep confusion as to why “bad” things happen to them. It is so easy to agonise over “Why do bad things happen ... read more →

The Narcissist in the Workplace

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
Many people in the community have requested an article regarding narcissism in the workplace. Finally, I have enough of the backlog out of the way of articles that I wanted to write to be able to focus on this one. As with family of origin narcissism, narcissism in the workplace is not really my area of expertise. But like with all narcissistic abuse – and this is how I will present the article – it is helpful to understand the dynamics of what is really going on in the first instance, and then accepting that our True Power always lies in the ... read more →

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #18 Marla

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
This Thriver story is one that I believe many people will be able to relate to.Beliefs can be powerful. Doing the right thing can be what we are “trained” to do. Many people believed “marriage is for life” … but when we believe that we are supposed to suffer in silence, put on a face to the world, and continue to just “carry one” with our families, our community,  or our church, is this healthy?Does God really want us to stick it out? Or do we have permission to change our lives dramatically – such as leave a spouse – in order to be happy?During this ... read more →

An Interview With Eric Casaccio – The Creator Of The Movie “Narcissist”

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
This show is a very special interview with my dear friend Eric Casaccio - who is the writer, director and co-producer of the short film - "Narcissist”. Eric and I had the wonderful opportunity to meet in person in LA in February of this year, and I have been watching how so much has happened for Eric since this time! It’s sooo exciting! What is so wonderful is Eric's passion with this movie came straight from his heart and from his own personal experience. Eric's message is raising awareness regarding narcissism on a very large scale. The world is definitely ready for this much needed message! This ... read more →

Hoovering – How The Narcissist Tricks You Into Breaking No Contact

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
“Hoovering” is the term used to describe a narcissist trying to re-connect with you after a time of separation. Often, this separation occurs after a time of silence between you and the narcissist. The hoovering generally happens when you are not making contact, and at times when you are trying to get on with your life. If you are the one trying to contact and make-up, it is more likely that the narcissist will devalue and discard you. If this is not the case, it is because the narcissist still wants something from you – possessions, money, status, contacts or sex because ... read more →

Healing Our Children By Proxy – Father’s Day Special

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
Click the play button below to listen: http://www.mediafire.com/download/5mr13rl59rht4e6/Ian_and_Michael_2.mp3 Or download the show here. I have a really special Father's Show for you ... and within this show I am interviewing a wonderful father. It isn't Father's Day in other parts of the world, but this Sunday in Australia it is. This show is about "Healing Our Children By Proxy", and I am going to share with you an incredible healing process which can effectively help our children. As a parent, we know we would do anything for our children - many of us would even die for our children. We would do anything for them to be ... read more →

10 Ways We Can Self-Avoid

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
When we are on a journey of healing and resurrection, the most important component is “self-partnering.” This is in dire contrast to “self-avoidance,” or what is also known as “self-abandonment.” Many of us had no idea we were “self-avoiding” because we just thought we were doing our best to get on with life. For many people life itself can be all-consuming. You may feel like it is a daily struggle to cope – or even just survive. For so many people, a need for self-partnering only happens when life brings us to our knees when we simply can’t continue on with “business as ... read more →

The Effects Of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
Leading up to this week's article - I had so much on...and the inspiration hadn't struck me yet regarding what to write. I asked the Facebook Community for their thoughts, and before long there were many responses and replies. If you would like to join in on these discussions, you can join my Facebook page here.  The topics requested ranged from trusting your intuition, co-dependency, boundaries, recovery, narcissists in the workplace and more. There were also lots of people asking questions about the narcissist – why they do what they do, why they are still acting out, hoovering etc. and more. Reading these posts, my stomach ... read more →