Melanie Tonia Evans

Welcome to the Narcissism and Relationships Blog

The purpose of this blog is to grant illumination, empowerment and resources for individuals wishing to change painful love patterns, heal themselves and experience real love.

Here you will discover profound truths about yourself that will put you in the driver's seat to create a life of happiness, freedom and joy.

You can expect profound 'ah ha' moments, relief, hope and the answers to the difficult questions about love and your life that may have previously eluded you.


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How To Divorce A Narcissist Part 1

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  This first article is Part One of a two part series I think we would all agree that divorce is one of the most excruciating things anyone can go through. Psychologists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967 created a list of the top 43 most stressful life events. Divorce rated the second most stressful, only capped by death of a spouse. That describes a normal divorce. But what about divorcing a narcissist? THAT takes the stress to a whole new level. I’ve been through it, and many people in this community have been, presently are, or will need to do so in the future. Maybe you ... read more →

Being The Scapegoat And Trying Everything To Get Approval [Thriver Story #25 Cindy]

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  I’m really excited because today I have another incredible Thriver story.If you were abused as a child, by a parent or family member, you are especially going to want to make some time to listen to this story.It’s pretty incredible!This story is about a Cindy, a wonderful woman within our NARP community and is also a moderator in the NARP forum. (Like Phil who I had on the show a few weeks ago.)Cindy grew up in dairy farm in Wisconsin with foster parents. Her mother was the narcissist and her father was the co-dependent enabler.She spent her youth growing up trying ... read more →

What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist – And How To Break Free From It

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  I have never written an article specifically on this topic – and I think it is really important that I do. Feeling “addicted” to the narcissist is one of the most horrible and powerless things about suffering the trauma of narcissistic abuse. And it truly does defy all logical explanation. People standing on the side-lines can’t comprehend it. It would seem obvious that you would want nothing to do with someone who continually hurts you. It seems incredulous that you’re not able to logically define that this person is no longer worth one scrap of your energy, and that you can’t simply stop thinking about ... read more →

Why Doesn’t A Narcissist Want Love, Happiness Or Peace?

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  After my article Narcissistic Abuse – You’re Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t came out I received a few messages wanting me to expand on the point I made in it – that narcissists don’t want what we want. I thought this was a really good idea ... And it knew it could help people understand a lot more … because one of the most baffling and distressing things about narcissists is that we can’t “work them out” from any human level. Because they don’t think and operate like normal humans. And when we are trying to gauge them from our framework, ... read more →

Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #24 Phil

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
Today I have a really special interview. Especially if you are a male in this community, I know you will find this interview relatable and insightful. This show is about Phil, who is now one of our senior members in the NARP community. He is a friend of mine, and is also a part of the moderator team in the Private NARP Forum. Phil is a shining example of someone who has been to the brink, and managed to completely turn his life around. If you are a male who has suffered a relationship with a female narcissist you may relate to things like: The ... read more →

Narcissistic Abuse – You’re Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  One of the most frustrating things about being narcissistically abused is that you are often told how bad, insensitive, selfish, uncaring and incompetent you are. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to do the right thing, the narcissist still finds fault with you. If the narcissist in your life is / was a love partner – the relationship didn’t start that way. In stark contrast you thought you could do no wrong with this person – in fact you couldn’t imagine them ever getting annoyed about anything. Generally … that’s how narcissistic relationships kick off – as glorious and delightful. If the narcissist in your ... read more →

How You Can Get Involved In Spreading The Word

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
  Today we have quite a different show but I’m really excited about it! One of the reasons is because this is the first ever radio show I have done with my son Zac. Many of you know about Zac and that he works with me on this mission, and you may have even had dealings with Zac before behind the scenes, and it’s really lovely that the community will get to meet him today. And the other reason I’m very excited about this show is because of this … Over the last few years the New Life community has grown to over 30,000 ... read more →

Happy Mother’s Day

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
    This Sunday it’s Mother’s Day in many countries including Australia and the USA. It’s a bit of a shame that we don’t all celebrate globally at the same time of year; our UK friends, and some parts of Europe and Asia celebrate Mother’s Day at other times. As a Mother, I love Mother’s Day … it is a very special get together time with my mother, family and son, and I deeply acknowledge it can be a painful time for many people in this Community, due to child alienation, loss of a child or inability to give birth to your own, or ... read more →

What Can We Do With Narcissists?

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
    I loved sharing with you last week’s article about Narcissists and Epigenetics. And the reason is: because I am very excited about our possibilities for a new world. I am excited about what can be done, and how we can do it differently to what has proven to not work in our past. I placed a post on Facebook yesterday from talkamen.com  – that I screamed “Yes” to when I saw it. This is the post: Everyone wants to change the world but few are willing to change themselves. I know how relevant this is to what we have all been playing out with each ... read more →

What Is Epigenetics? And What Does It Have To Do With Narcissistic Abuse?

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans
    A couple of weeks ago, I had the most wonderful evening … I went to see Bruce Lipton live. Bruce Lipton is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit. He is a stem cell biologist, bestselling author of The Biology of Belief and recipient of the 2009 Goi Peace Award. I love his work, as well as Joe Dispenza’s, as my healing model correlates strongly with both of their work. Today in my article I want to talk about “Epigenetics.” You may have never heard the word before … There are many longer version meanings of the word – but to simplify Bruce Lipton's ... read more →