The purpose of this blog is to grant illumination, empowerment and resources for individuals wishing to change painful love patterns, heal themselves and experience real love.
Here you will discover profound truths about yourself that will put you in the driver's to create a life of happiness, freedom and joy.
You can expect profound 'ah ha' moments, relief, hope and the answers to the difficult questions about love and your life that may have been previously eluded you.
Life can definitely feel hard. When connected to narcissistic abuse it feels agonising, victimised and anguished. It is like all of our worst nightmares have come to bear. The truth is all of this feels terrible. It feels terrible because it is not the truth of who we are… Who we really are is: Love, Truth, Sincerity, Support, Gentleness and Happiness, and because what is going on in our life feels so far away from that, when narcissistically abused, we feel like we are in total torment. Whenever we have been abused, set upon and been the brunt of someone else’s destructive action, we take on all of the pain of the things that we really aren’t. We feel it, absorb it and start vibrating at the level of everything that is not us… How to Align with Your Reality How we feel in life is all about our vibration. This may seem really glib, or not acknowledge what is going on outside of us, but I promise you it is true. One of the best ways you can break free from the torment and the abuse that is going on in your life is to realise that pain, … read more →
I know that many of us think that we are there with our unhealed inner programs. We may have thought because we had done so much work on ourself, that we had it right, and we’d moved into the space of receiving a great life experience. Then bang! Something happens in our life that feels like a major catastrophe. Maybe a relationship that you thought was for life breaks down, maybe you lose your job, or maybe something in your life who you vowed and declared that you could trust turns on you. These times can feel devastating, and whilst gutted on the ground you are shaking you head in disbelief thinking How did this happen to me again? We’ve all been there, and many of us are presently there looking at the crumbs of what we thought our life was, shattered on the ground. The Outside or Inside Choice Sooner or later, there is only two choices we can make. The first, and one most unconsciously chosen, is to look to the outside as the victim, and blame life and others for what happened, or apply the personal responsibility of coming home to yourself. This is not about … read more →
All of us know about suffering and pain. There is so much of it in narcissistic relationships. In fact it is synonymous with narcissistic abuse, and the aftershock of abuse. I would really like you, though, to understand what pain and suffering really is. Pain is inevitable; it is a part of life. Emotional pain occurs in our life when something occurs that is not to our liking. Pain happens when the ‘what is’ is not what ‘we want it to be’. In relation to narcissistic abuse, pain occurs when we are demeaned, when we are lied to, when the facts are twisted and turned, when we are constantly blamed, and when we simply cannot make the narcissist see what he or she is doing to us. As we know the more we try to turn the ‘what is occurring’ into ‘what we would like to occur’ with the narcissist, the more and more pain we experience. When this happens we enter the realm of suffering. Suffering is Pain Amplified The definition of suffering is to continue enduring pain. The reason we endure suffering is that we are trying to deal with the pain in the wrong way. Then … read more →
Do you know what one of my hardest jobs being a healer is? Let me tell you… It is convincing women that the man they lost is not a loss… How can I do this when women have the gut wrenching feeling “How will I ever feel as attracted to anyone else as I DID to him?” I know it’s awful (initially). I know it’s devastating, heartbreaking and feels like the cruellest, nastiest joke that Life could play on you…putting a man in your path that you feel so attracted to, so compatible with and who you totally fall in love with, yet things didn’t work out. Maybe the cruel joke went really deep. Maybe there was a period of time where you were in a relationship with him, and he told you he felt the same, that he knew you were his soul mate, and he had never felt so attracted to and connected to anyone in all his life. We can take this one step further. Maybe, if this person was not a narcissist, he may have meant this, at the time, with all of his heart – yet, for whatever reason things didn’t and don’t seem like … read more →
In last week’s episode of Empowered Love Radio I talk about one of the fundamental actions you must take in order to recover. In fact, those that grasp this topic start moving forward rapidly, as opposed to those that don’t. If you haven’t listen to this show yet you can do so now (it will compliment this blog post perfectly). Gettting Love Right: Who is Responsible For Our Wellbeing? Also if you are not a regular listener of Empowered Love Radio, I recommend you take a look at the 100 plus podcasts with countless hours of content for you to go through. I get wonderful feedback from listeners almost every day who tell that the podcasts really made a difference in their recovery process. Visit Empowered Love Radio Accepting Personal Responsibility This topic may lose some of you – and truly that is okay, because even though this is the case, it will also ‘find’ many of you – in that you will have the ability to totally find yourself, pick up the key and turn it in order to create true relief and the happy, fulfilling life you really want to live. There is one defining … read more →
Anyone who has been narcissistically abused knows what it feels like to be enmeshed with the narcissist. It feels crippling, all consuming, and, at the time of the extremes, as if there is no way to be released. This enmeshment occurs physically and especially psychically. The reason I say especially psychically is because, even if you end a relationship with a narcissist, and even when eventually you separate material possessions and have no physical or verbal contact, the connection that you cannot physically or logically define is much harder to break. What I mean by being ‘psychically entangled’ with a narcissistic is this. You feel like the narcissist is crawling under your skin. It seems like the narcissist never left. Many people report the feeling as if the narcissist, and all the associated pain that goes with narcissistic abuse, is still running through their veins like a poisonous black ink. That is certainly how it felt for me. While this psychic enmeshment is going on, you feel like everywhere you look, and every location you are in, reminds you of the narcissist. Trying to get the narcissist out of your mind and your emotions is akin to needing an exorcism. … read more →
Listen to Laurie from Canada’s inspirational story Please note: The sound quality at my property has improved, but is still being tweaked! Thanks for being patient while this gets resolved. Click here to see the offer I made in the Podcast Don’t Spend Another Christmas Alone How do you feel at Christmas time if you don’t have someone special to share it with? I know how I used to feel coming into the most important family time of year being single. I felt depressed, very sad and in intense emotional pain. In fact I was devastated that I would again do Christmas alone, something that I vowed and declared every New Year I wouldn’t ever go through again! But when it came around to finding a way out of this loneliness, I felt powerless. I mean you can’t just ‘pluck a partner out of thin air’. I had no idea where to find one, or how to go about getting one. I was horrified of the thought of dating, and my only hope was to wait and hope that a decent man, that I could be attracted to, who wasn’t going to turn out to be an abuser, … read more →
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you been devastated, infuriated and frustrated when you realise that many of your relationships, and possibly even the one with a parent was with a narcissist? There are Solutions I want to take you on a little bit of an analogy here… Can you imagine having repeated problems with a car? No matter what work you have had done on the engine, the breakdowns keep occurring. It seems like every time you think you’re cruising down the road safely and happily again, something goes wrong… …bringing back the familiar dread of Noooo! Not this again! What if, though, finally you found the right mechanic, with the right answer, who could solve this problem? It’s absolutely possible, because I hope, like me, you believe there are always solutions – you’ve just got to find them… The Real Solutions The real solutions are in coming into your personal authentic power, which is the opposite of being in the midst and aftermath of narcissistic abuse – which feels incredibly crippled and powerless. Narcissistic abuse feels horrendous, and of course the ongoing pattern of it in your life – from parent, to partner (and … read more →
This week’s blog is a continuation of last week’s blog Who Is My Inner Child Last week my client’s session was about discovering her inner child and learning how to nurture it. If you haven’t read it yet please take a look as it will help understand my client’s next step of her journey. This week, when my client started learning to embrace her inner child, we found the next ‘block’ preventing her inner child by being fully accepted by her. Deep down she hadn’t forgiven herself for her past behaviors and choices. She hadn’t learned to forgive herself, even though conceptually she thought she had. When we haven’t forgiven ourselves, we are not fully accepting our broken and unhealed parts. Because of this, my client could not fully embrace her inner child unless she ceased judging herself. I would like to explain more about this… Non-forgiveness is resistance, it is not acceptance, and it keeps creating our separation from self, and the re-enactments in our life of all that we haven’t forgiven ourselves for. Why? Because life and our soul will keep co-creating all of the conditions necessary to show us how painful and unnatural it is to not … read more →
I believe we all have an inner child. Another way to describe our inner child is our unconscious, instinctual self. This is the part of us that automatically receives messages from our outer experience, and instinctually feels a certain way about this data. Some aspects of our inner child may be healthy, happy and safe, and others not so much. Therefore within certain topics we may feel safe and solid, and can make conscious and healthy choices about the data we receive, and other times we will be triggered and emotionally over-react and won’t. It’s the parts of our inner child that feel uncomfortable, unsafe, threatened and afraid that keep showing up in our life, and keep creating pain, havoc, loss of love, and all the things that we truly don’t want to experience. So Why is Our Inner Child Wounded? Many of us came from difficult circumstances in childhood, where we certainly did not experience unconditional love. Our parents may have been to busy to be present, one of both may have left us. We may have suffered unrealistic expectations, criticism, emotional abandonment and abuse. We may have had rules and regulations forced on us whilst we felt … read more →
