Melanie Tonia Evans

Can You Ever Be Safe From Narcissists?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
35
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
35
  When my life had been turned upside down and inside out, by a pathological person hurting me more than I thought humanly possible, I remember thinking … How could my judgement have been so wrong? How could I have let this person into myself and my inner world, thinking that he was the most trustworthy person I had ever known ... only to be hit with total carnage instead? I know, like my previous self, you may feel totally shell-shocked at the possibility of more wolves in sheep’s clothing entering your life. It’s not just concerning; it’s downright terrifying because when they do EVERYTHING is at stake … (more…)

 

When my life had been turned upside down and inside out, by a pathological person hurting me more than I thought humanly possible, I remember thinking …

How could my judgement have been so wrong?

How could I have let this person into myself and my inner world, thinking that he was the most trustworthy person I had ever known … only to be hit with total carnage instead?

I know, like my previous self, you may feel totally shell-shocked at the possibility of more wolves in sheep’s clothing entering your life.

It’s not just concerning; it’s downright terrifying because when they do EVERYTHING is at stake …

Healing Isolation, Fear and Loneliness After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
67
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
67
  Recovery from narcissistic abuse is such a big thing. It is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do because there are crippling feelings to deal with. There is the death of the dreams that we thought we were going to be living with this person, the shock of what this person is capable of, the fallout due to the smearing, the losses of finances, resources and our health (all the usual symptoms of narcissistic abuse), and the dreaded pain of the reality of life now, as we look at the rubble of our previous life on the floor all around us. In amongst all of this, I believe there are three overwhelmingly painful and traumatising feelings that we are suffering, regardless of the practicalities and the real-life battle we are facing and suffering. These are Isolation, Fear and Loneliness. (more…)

 

Recovery from narcissistic abuse is such a big thing. It is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do because there are crippling feelings to deal with.

There is the death of the dreams that we thought we were going to be living with this person, the shock of what this person is capable of, the fallout due to the smearing, the losses of finances, resources and our health (all the usual symptoms of narcissistic abuse), and the dreaded pain of the reality of life now, as we look at the rubble of our previous life on the floor all around us.

In amongst all of this, I believe there are three overwhelmingly painful and traumatising feelings that we are suffering, regardless of the practicalities and the real-life battle we are facing and suffering.

These are Isolation, Fear and Loneliness.

The 3 Phases Of Deservedness

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
77
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
77
  Deservedness applies to all of us, whether we are still in the heavy trauma of narcissistic abuse, or if we have recovered enough to ask ‘What’s next?’. There are 3 things I believe we all want. To be our True Self. To have a True Life To experience True Love. Are these things just far-fetched concepts that are unrealistic? (more…)

 

Deservedness applies to all of us, whether we are still in the heavy trauma of narcissistic abuse, or if we have recovered enough to ask ‘What’s next?’.

There are 3 things I believe we all want.

To be our True Self.

To have a True Life

To experience True Love.

Are these things just far-fetched concepts that are unrealistic?

Leading The Way For Your Children

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
  One of the hardest (if not the hardest) jobs in the world is to be a parent. Where is that handbook!? Certainly, many of us have had our struggles with being parents, and after being narcissistically abused and seeing what this puts our children through, our parenting overwhelm is even more accentuated. How can we heal our children when we are barely surviving ourselves? Why is our selfless desire to make sure they are okay before we attend to ourselves NOT working? (more…)

 

One of the hardest (if not the hardest) jobs in the world is to be a parent.

Where is that handbook!?

Certainly, many of us have had our struggles with being parents, and after being narcissistically abused and seeing what this puts our children through, our parenting overwhelm is even more accentuated.

How can we heal our children when we are barely surviving ourselves?

Why is our selfless desire to make sure they are okay before we attend to ourselves NOT working?

4 Shocking Ways Narcissists Bleed You Financially

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
33
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
33
  Sooo many people in this community have been taken down financially by narcissists – myself included. And it’s terrible … because you may have lost everything you’ve worked your entire life for, to someone who you know manipulated, connived, lied to you and was in the relationship ONLY for their own selfish benefit. It’s devastating and it's beyond cruel. How can we stop this happening to us now? And, how can we shore ourselves up so that this will never happen to us again? (more…)

 

Sooo many people in this community have been taken down financially by narcissists – myself included.

And it’s terrible … because you may have lost everything you’ve worked your entire life for, to someone who you know manipulated, connived, lied to you and was in the relationship ONLY for their own selfish benefit.

It’s devastating and it’s beyond cruel.

How can we stop this happening to us now?

And, how can we shore ourselves up so that this will never happen to us again?

How To Expose A Narcissist Without Looking Like The Crazy One

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
61
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
61
  How to expose a narcissist without looking like the crazy one, is what so many people want to do, yet find incredibly difficult to do. Of course, it is beyond traumatising when narcissists lie, manipulate, smear, take zero responsibility for pathological behaviour, and you get blamed for all the problems. This is why I wanted to write this article so that you could know ‘how to expose a narcissist' the right way. Be very clear with working out ‘how to expose a narcissist' that you are not dealing with a rational, decent person. The narcissist is never wrong, has zero remorse, care or consideration for others, and is always blaming someone else. If you are in close proximity and things fall apart, of course, you are going to be smeared, and the narcissist will twist and turn information to make them look like the great person and you the terrible one. (more…)

 

How to expose a narcissist without looking like the crazy one, is what so many people want to do, yet find incredibly difficult to do. Of course, it is beyond traumatising when narcissists lie, manipulate, smear, take zero responsibility for pathological behaviour, and you get blamed for all the problems.

This is why I wanted to write this article so that you could know ‘how to expose a narcissist’ the right way.

Be very clear with working out ‘how to expose a narcissist’ that you are not dealing with a rational, decent person. The narcissist is never wrong, has zero remorse, care or consideration for others, and is always blaming someone else. If you are in close proximity and things fall apart, of course, you are going to be smeared, and the narcissist will twist and turn information to make them look like the great person and you the terrible one.

The Narcissist Is Your Mirror

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
53
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
53
  If we wish to Thrive after narcissistic abuse, there is ONE thing that will start that journey. Turning our focus inwards … To heal the only person we can heal to heal our life – ourselves. But ... what is it that we need to heal? And … how do we discover exactly what it is? (more…)

 

If we wish to Thrive after narcissistic abuse, there is ONE thing that will start that journey.

Turning our focus inwards …

To heal the only person we can heal to heal our life – ourselves.

But … what is it that we need to heal?

And … how do we discover exactly what it is?

Being Comfortable In Your Own Skin

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
55
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  All of us want this. We want to feel free, happy, whole and healthy. After narcissistic abuse being comfortable in our own skin, as your natural state of living, may seem like a very big stretch to get to. Yet, I am here to help you believe that it is possible. In fact, in today’s The Thriver’s Life episode, I want you to understand it is probable. When you adopt what I am going to share with you today. (more…)

 

All of us want this.

We want to feel free, happy, whole and healthy.

After narcissistic abuse being comfortable in our own skin, as your natural state of living, may seem like a very big stretch to get to.

Yet, I am here to help you believe that it is possible.

In fact, in today’s The Thriver’s Life episode, I want you to understand it is probable.

When you adopt what I am going to share with you today.

How To Break Free From Toxic People In Your Life

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
41
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
41
Have you ever felt the absolute confusion, angst, anger, despair and pain of trying to leave a toxic person behind? You may say, ‘I know they are NO good for me!” Are you still confused as to why, despite what this person has done, that you still feel in love with them? Or maybe … you don’t even like this person and believe their behaviour and values are terrible, yet it feels like they have permeated your being and occupy way too much space in your head. How you get them OUT? How do you get the SPACE and RELIEF in your thoughts and emotions to restart your wellbeing and your life? (more…)

Have you ever felt the absolute confusion, angst, anger, despair and pain of trying to leave a toxic person behind?

You may say, ‘I know they are NO good for me!”

Are you still confused as to why, despite what this person has done, that you still feel in love with them?

Or maybe … you don’t even like this person and believe their behaviour and values are terrible, yet it feels like they have permeated your being and occupy way too much space in your head.

How you get them OUT?

How do you get the SPACE and RELIEF in your thoughts and emotions to restart your wellbeing and your life?

How To Identify A Pathological Lying Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
74
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
74
  Have you ever been in a situation with someone where you have no idea whether you are being told the truth or not? Have you experienced events and circumstances that leave you feeling dubious as to whether or not you can trust them? Or have you received point blank evidence that this person is a liar? The truth is this: we can’t have a safe and healthy relationship with a pathological liar because trust, faith and belief are smashed. There is a very pertinent saying – that when we become a detective in our relationship that things are very wrong. (more…)

 

Have you ever been in a situation with someone where you have no idea whether you are being told the truth or not?

Have you experienced events and circumstances that leave you feeling dubious as to whether or not you can trust them?

Or have you received point blank evidence that this person is a liar?

The truth is this: we can’t have a safe and healthy relationship with a pathological liar because trust, faith and belief are smashed.

There is a very pertinent saying – that when we become a detective in our relationship that things are very wrong.