Melanie Tonia Evans

Shifts Happen – I Am Unwanted And Unsafe

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
  Two weeks ago I had the most amazing Shifts Happen Session with Kathy, a beautiful lady from the NARP Community. It was an incredibly inspirational, deep and powerful healing that was a real stand out for me to be a part of.  I was thrilled to be able to help Kathy in this way … Because … as you will discover …. there are traumas from Kathy’s past that exceed anything most of us could even imagine happening to another person let alone ourselves. (You will understand as you watch this). A day later when viewing the recording, I realised there were some major technological issues with it … ones that made the session unable to be aired. (more…)

 

Two weeks ago I had the most amazing Shifts Happen Session with Kathy, a beautiful lady from the NARP Community.

It was an incredibly inspirational, deep and powerful healing that was a real stand out for me to be a part of.  I was thrilled to be able to help Kathy in this way …

Because … as you will discover …. there are traumas from Kathy’s past that exceed anything most of us could even imagine happening to another person let alone ourselves. (You will understand as you watch this).

A day later when viewing the recording, I realised there were some major technological issues with it … ones that made the session unable to be aired.

How To Break The Psychic Connection With A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
49
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
49
  I truly believe the hardest bond to break with a narcissist is the one we can’t see … The psychic tie. So many people report this – the terrible feeling like the narcissist still lives on inside of them – the abusive voice in their head, the reoccurring nightmares … and the feeling like the narcissist is coursing through their veins like shards of ice, or a foul black ink. When we are living with this psychic infiltration we feel polluted. We feel like we may NEVER get free of this feeling. And it is so hard to exist with it … because our Life-force is being sucked out of us no matter what we do to block, cut off or escape the connection. (more…)

 

I truly believe the hardest bond to break with a narcissist is the one we can’t see …

The psychic tie.

So many people report this – the terrible feeling like the narcissist still lives on inside of them – the abusive voice in their head, the reoccurring nightmares … and the feeling like the narcissist is coursing through their veins like shards of ice, or a foul black ink.

When we are living with this psychic infiltration we feel polluted.

We feel like we may NEVER get free of this feeling.

And it is so hard to exist with it … because our Life-force is being sucked out of us no matter what we do to block, cut off or escape the connection.

This Will Never Happen To Me Again – Thriver Show #35 Christine

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
50
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
50
  I'm super excited today because it's time for another Thriver Show! If you are new to the community - this is a regular segment on Thriver TV where we interview a member of the NARP community to inspire you and give you hope that there is a way to recover. This Thriver Show was one full of rich discussion and insight. Within our interview Christine explains how her mother was diagnosed officially as an overt narcissist with grandiose tendencies. Christine’s childhood as a single child was “interesting” to say the least. Her mother’s ego, according to Christine was “swirling for all to see.” Christine’s mother had 13 marriages to 11 different men … And of course Christine suffered emotional abuse … which became “her normal”. (more…)

 

I’m super excited today because it’s time for another Thriver Show!

If you are new to the community – this is a regular segment on Thriver TV where we interview a member of the NARP community to inspire you and give you hope that there is a way to recover.

This Thriver Show was one full of rich discussion and insight.

Within our interview Christine explains how her mother was diagnosed officially as an overt narcissist with grandiose tendencies.

Christine’s childhood as a single child was “interesting” to say the least. Her mother’s ego, according to Christine was “swirling for all to see.” Christine’s mother had 13 marriages to 11 different men …

And of course Christine suffered emotional abuse … which became “her normal”.

How To Eliminate Narcissists From Your Life

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
71
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
71
  Narcissists enmesh with you mentally, emotionally and psychically; it is literally like this person unzipped us, stepped inside and is crawling around under our skin. That may sound farfetched to anyone who has never been narcissistically abused, but for those of us who have, it is a common feeling that collectively we have suffered. This Thriver TV episode is not about why we have that feeling, it is about what happens when we no longer do. What does it feel like when we have eliminated the narcissist’s presence and the narcissist is no longer our reality? (more…)

 

Narcissists enmesh with you mentally, emotionally and psychically; it is literally like this person unzipped us, stepped inside and is crawling around under our skin.

That may sound farfetched to anyone who has never been narcissistically abused, but for those of us who have, it is a common feeling that collectively we have suffered.

This Thriver TV episode is not about why we have that feeling, it is about what happens when we no longer do.

What does it feel like when we have eliminated the narcissist’s presence and the narcissist is no longer our reality?

The 10 Most Impactful Ways To Start Self-Partnering Right Now

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
42
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
42
  What exactly is self-partnering … and how do we achieve it? Is it something that we need to continually think about and work at, or is it something that we can be-come at a deeper level where it just starts to become automatic? Self-partnering is talked about a lot in this Community. Does this mean it’s essential to do in order to heal from narcissistic abuse? Is it something that relates to MUCH more than just abuse recovery? I believe it is … absolutely! I will even go as far as to say I believe self-partnering holds the key to not only our Highest Potential and the Game of Life … (more…)

 

What exactly is self-partnering … and how do we achieve it?

Is it something that we need to continually think about and work at, or is it something that we can be-come at a deeper level where it just starts to become automatic?

Self-partnering is talked about a lot in this Community. Does this mean it’s essential to do in order to heal from narcissistic abuse?

Is it something that relates to MUCH more than just abuse recovery?

I believe it is … absolutely!

I will even go as far as to say I believe self-partnering holds the key to not only our Highest Potential and the Game of Life …

Empaths – How To Stop Being A Narcissist’s Snack

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
149
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
149
  It is well known amongst Abuse Communities that people who are empaths can be very susceptible to being in relationships with narcissists. It is also noted that spiritual people, caretakers, or individuals in human service industries … for some reason, seem to be high on the narcissist’s snack list. Empaths are sensitive, caring souls who sense other people’s pain and try to make a difference. Narcissists are self-absorbed, self-involved people who create pain for people while they make themselves the number one fixture. It makes sense that these opposites would attract and that Empaths provide the perfect opportunity for narcissists to “take”.  (more…)

 

It is well known amongst Abuse Communities that people who are empaths can be very susceptible to being in relationships with narcissists.

It is also noted that spiritual people, caretakers, or individuals in human service industries … for some reason, seem to be high on the narcissist’s snack list.

Empaths are sensitive, caring souls who sense other people’s pain and try to make a difference.

Narcissists are self-absorbed, self-involved people who create pain for people while they make themselves the number one fixture.

It makes sense that these opposites would attract and that Empaths provide the perfect opportunity for narcissists to “take”. 

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery – How Long Will It Take?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
48
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
48
  It is shocking for so many people, how long the trauma of narcissistic abuse plagues them. Trying to recovery from narcissistic abuse can be one of the most frustrating and devastating journeys we could ever take. It can feel like one step forward and two (or more) back! Why is this the case? Why, even when we leave a narcissist and get out of the war zone, does the anxiety and deep depression continue? It is all to do with how we understand and deal with emotional pain. As well as learning and embracing what the trauma is really for and how to transmute it … in ways that not just liberate us from it, but also release us quickly and powerfully into freedom and joy. (more…)

 

It is shocking for so many people, how long the trauma of narcissistic abuse plagues them.

Trying to recovery from narcissistic abuse can be one of the most frustrating and devastating journeys we could ever take.

It can feel like one step forward and two (or more) back!

Why is this the case? Why, even when we leave a narcissist and get out of the war zone, does the anxiety and deep depression continue?

It is all to do with how we understand and deal with emotional pain.

As well as learning and embracing what the trauma is really for and how to transmute it … in ways that not just liberate us from it, but also release us quickly and powerfully into freedom and joy.

Will I Ever Feel The Same Attraction I Felt With The Narcissist?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
  Have you ever had the agonising issue of being head over heels attracted to someone who is totally bad for you? And …. even though this person abuses you and is impossible to create a healthy, safe and happy life with, you feel like they are your perfect match? This is the traumatic world of being connected with a narcissist lover, where I promise you SO many people have reported the same thing! In fact, some people when they first connected with a narcissist, felt this heart explosion … “This is The One” (yours truly included), and then ... when the relationship blows up and ends (as relationships with narcissists are apt to do)  there is a forlorn emptiness of missing and obsessing about the ex-partner. As well as, devastatingly, a benign non-existent attraction to anyone else. (more…)

 

Have you ever had the agonising issue of being head over heels attracted to someone who is totally bad for you?

And …. even though this person abuses you and is impossible to create a healthy, safe and happy life with, you feel like they are your perfect match?

This is the traumatic world of being connected with a narcissist lover, where I promise you SO many people have reported the same thing!

In fact, some people when they first connected with a narcissist, felt this heart explosion … “This is The One” (yours truly included), and then … when the relationship blows up and ends (as relationships with narcissists are apt to do)  there is a forlorn emptiness of missing and obsessing about the ex-partner.

As well as, devastatingly, a benign non-existent attraction to anyone else.

Why Grey Rock Alone Won’t Keep You Safe From Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
  If you have asked for help on the internet or read articles on how to deal with a narcissist, chances are you have heard of the The Grey Rock Method. If you haven't heard of it, the Grey Rock Method involves switching off, showing no emotion and providing nothing that attracts a narcissist into granting energy back – by us becoming so boring and lifeless to the narcissist that they simply don't see us as a source of supply any more. Using the Grey Rock method is intended to help us reach the biggest goal we have with a narcissist, which is to detach and get well … mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. But often detaching and offering up “no energy”, to cut off narcissistic supply to narcissist, isn’t enough for us to get there … (more…)

 

If you have asked for help on the internet or read articles on how to deal with a narcissist, chances are you have heard of the The Grey Rock Method.

If you haven’t heard of it, the Grey Rock Method involves switching off, showing no emotion and providing nothing that attracts a narcissist into granting energy back – by us becoming so boring and lifeless to the narcissist that they simply don’t see us as a source of supply any more.

Using the Grey Rock method is intended to help us reach the biggest goal we have with a narcissist, which is to detach and get well … mentally, emotionally, physically and financially.

But often detaching and offering up “no energy”, to cut off narcissistic supply to narcissist, isn’t enough for us to get there …

What To Do If You Feel Like You’re Too Old To Recover From Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
  This is one of the most painful questions people ask … It is so understandable, after being narcissistically abused, to think that you have thrown the best years of your life away … and that it’s now too late to create a great life. And let’s face it – it’s very unlikely that you have ended a relationship in a supported state, where you are healthy, happy and buoyantly able to move forward. In fact, the exact opposite is usually true – you’ve lost a lot, and especially your confidence and faith in Life and yourself. You may have been set back years – emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. And of course it feels like the dreams that you had worked hard to accomplish have been thwarted! (more…)

 

This is one of the most painful questions people ask …

It is so understandable, after being narcissistically abused, to think that you have thrown the best years of your life away … and that it’s now too late to create a great life.

And let’s face it – it’s very unlikely that you have ended a relationship in a supported state, where you are healthy, happy and buoyantly able to move forward.

In fact, the exact opposite is usually true – you’ve lost a lot, and especially your confidence and faith in Life and yourself.

You may have been set back years – emotionally, mentally, physically and financially.

And of course it feels like the dreams that you had worked hard to accomplish have been thwarted!