Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Trust Again After The Person You Loved Didn’t Love You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
54
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
54
  Our most painful traumas are the ones that hurt our heart. Again and again people agonise, as I did too, with the hardest thing to get over – the realisation that this person did not love you. How can we hope to love again after knowing that the love we were invested in was a lie? How can we even consider opening up and taking the risk with our mind, souls and hearts again? Many people don’t ... they concede it is too risky and too painful and feel that they simply couldn’t survive that level of emotional devastation again. (more…)

 

Our most painful traumas are the ones that hurt our heart.

Again and again people agonise, as I did too, with the hardest thing to get over – the realisation that this person did not love you.

How can we hope to love again after knowing that the love we were invested in was a lie?

How can we even consider opening up and taking the risk with our mind, souls and hearts again?

Many people don’t … they concede it is too risky and too painful and feel that they simply couldn’t survive that level of emotional devastation again.

Gaslighting – How A Narcissist Destroys You By Eroding Your Sanity

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
68
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
68
  “Gaslighting” is an expression that many people in narcissistic abuse circles have heard. The term owes its origin to a 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation. It’s the insidious way narcissists get us to doubt our own sanity, and cause us to be twisted and turned into not knowing what is real or not real. Gaslighting is about untruths, or at the very least stretching facts. It is about punishing people and fabricating information to suit one’s own agenda. It is about confusing you, stripping your power and getting you to distrust yourself. (more…)

 

“Gaslighting” is an expression that many people in narcissistic abuse circles have heard.

The term owes its origin to a 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation.

It’s the insidious way narcissists get us to doubt our own sanity, and cause us to be twisted and turned into not knowing what is real or not real.

Gaslighting is about untruths, or at the very least stretching facts. It is about punishing people and fabricating information to suit one’s own agenda.

It is about confusing you, stripping your power and getting you to distrust yourself.

How To Open Yourself To Prosperity After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
77
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
77
  One of the most painful, devastating and traumatic issues after being narcissistically abused is: How on earth am I going to re-start my life? Most people, when suffering narcissistic abuse, are also financially abused. It is one of the ways that a narcissist punishes and controls the most. You may have personally lost everything … Or close to everything that you worked so hard to achieve, to this point. (more…)

 

One of the most painful, devastating and traumatic issues after being narcissistically abused is:

How on earth am I going to re-start my life?

Most people, when suffering narcissistic abuse, are also financially abused. It is one of the ways that a narcissist punishes and controls the most.

You may have personally lost everything …

Or close to everything that you worked so hard to achieve, to this point.

5 Steps To Ignoring A Narcissist Who Tries To Punish You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
99
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
99
  Ignoring a narcissist is critical – it is a skill that will save your life. And there is no time that ignoring a narcissist is more important than when a narcissist tries to punish you. Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they do, you are handing power away. This is how narcissists “prosper” – they like to know that they have infiltrated your thoughts, heart, mind and soul to the point where they are everything to you – front and center, sideways, up and down and inside and out. That is what it feels like when a narcissist gets their tentacles into you … like everything you used to think is tipped upside down and turned on its head. (more…)

 

Ignoring a narcissist is critical – it is a skill that will save your life. And there is no time that ignoring a narcissist is more important than when a narcissist tries to punish you.

Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they do, you are handing power away.

This is how narcissists “prosper” – they like to know that they have infiltrated your thoughts, heart, mind and soul to the point where they are everything to you – front and center, sideways, up and down and inside and out.

That is what it feels like when a narcissist gets their tentacles into you … like everything you used to think is tipped upside down and turned on its head.

What Is Trauma Consciousness? And How To Break Free From It

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
50
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
50
  Today’s video is very important … because it’s all about the one simple shift that you can make that changes everything about HOW we can heal from trauma. This Thriver TV episode is about how our body and our brain works and the connection between the two. None of us were taught where trauma lives, how it affects our belief systems and our entire life. Traditionally, there was also zero education about how if we don’t know how to find it or address it – every attempt we make to live a life free from the terrible grip of trauma may fail. (more…)

 

Today’s video is very important … because it’s all about the one simple shift that you can make that changes everything about HOW we can heal from trauma.

This Thriver TV episode is about how our body and our brain works and the connection between the two.

None of us were taught where trauma lives, how it affects our belief systems and our entire life.

Traditionally, there was also zero education about how if we don’t know how to find it or address it – every attempt we make to live a life free from the terrible grip of trauma may fail.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse Really Telling Us?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
69
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
69
  When we are in a relationship which is unconscious, the relationship doesn’t improve. Because the essential commodities of mutuality, trust, respect, integrity and harmony aren’t present, and what this means is the integrity of the entire relationship is under strain and threat. If you’ve been in an unconscious relationship you will relate to this: The same issues are unresolved and come up over and over again. Arguments begin, then gather more and more frequently and deliver even more devastating impact. And the longer this goes on the more you can hear a voice in your head telling you “Something isn’t right!” (more…)

 

When we are in a relationship which is unconscious, the relationship doesn’t improve.

Because the essential commodities of mutuality, trust, respect, integrity and harmony aren’t present, and what this means is the integrity of the entire relationship is under strain and threat.

If you’ve been in an unconscious relationship you will relate to this:

The same issues are unresolved and come up over and over again.

Arguments begin, then gather more and more frequently and deliver even more devastating impact.

And the longer this goes on the more you can hear a voice in your head telling you “Something isn’t right!”

How To Recognise The 5 Types Of Trauma Bonding

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
54
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
54
  I don’t think anyone could possibly have prepared themselves for the intense, inexplicable and deadly bonding experience that happens with a narcissist. This is the thing … You KNOW you need to stay away …. You KNOW things aren’t getting better … Yet, it is so usual to not be able to stop yourself connecting with them again and again – attempting to get sense, or wanting to force them to be accountable … and even trying to get them to respect, care for and love you. (more…)

 

I don’t think anyone could possibly have prepared themselves for the intense, inexplicable and deadly bonding experience that happens with a narcissist.

This is the thing …

You KNOW you need to stay away ….

You KNOW things aren’t getting better …

Yet, it is so usual to not be able to stop yourself connecting with them again and again – attempting to get sense, or wanting to force them to be accountable … and even trying to get them to respect, care for and love you.

Why Can’t I Stop Loving The Narcissist?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
  It’s painful beyond measure. When someone who treats us WORSE than we could imagine … who is threatening our very mental and emotional fibre and everything we stand for … and is being someone who we SHOULDN’T love … Just happens to be THE person we can’t stop loving. This happens with narcissists, so often that it is not just some random tale of painful mismatched love. There is actually so much more to it. This Thriver TV episode, I believe, is very necessary ... because one of the deadliest (if not THE deadliest) hooks of narcissistic abuse is when we feel we can’t stop loving the person who is abusing us. (more…)

 

It’s painful beyond measure.

When someone who treats us WORSE than we could imagine … who is threatening our very mental and emotional fibre and everything we stand for … and is being someone who we SHOULDN’T love …

Just happens to be THE person we can’t stop loving.

This happens with narcissists, so often that it is not just some random tale of painful mismatched love.

There is actually so much more to it.

This Thriver TV episode, I believe, is very necessary … because one of the deadliest (if not THE deadliest) hooks of narcissistic abuse is when we feel we can’t stop loving the person who is abusing us.

The Narcissist – Soulmate, Twin Flame Or Cellmate?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
125
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
125
  I have been looking forward to writing this article ... really looking forward to it … because so many people, as well as spiritual teachers, have different theories on this. And the confusion definitely spills over into the questions people have in regard to narcissists … Are narcissists Soul Mates that we were meant to get it right with, but just couldn’t ... or are they Twin Flames; deeply impactful souls called forth to surface and purge our darker pieces that they reflect, so that we can evolve? Or, are they a hideous and terrible mistake of humanity that we just happened to get tangled up with, and found it so difficult to separate from? (more…)

 

I have been looking forward to writing this article … really looking forward to it … because so many people, as well as spiritual teachers, have different theories on this.

And the confusion definitely spills over into the questions people have in regard to narcissists …

Are narcissists Soul Mates that we were meant to get it right with, but just couldn’t … or are they Twin Flames; deeply impactful souls called forth to surface and purge our darker pieces that they reflect, so that we can evolve?

Or, are they a hideous and terrible mistake of humanity that we just happened to get tangled up with, and found it so difficult to separate from?

Asserting Your Needs In Relationships – Healthy vs Co-dependent

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
53
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
53
  There is a very fine line after narcissistic abuse, when we start wanting and entering new relationships. I believe for many of us who have done the work to heal our Inner Being … ... we may be literally terrified of being co-dependent again! We know the horror and the terror – that was literally life-threatening – when we were enmeshed to a narcissist and had powerlessly relinquished virtually all the rights of our life to them. And maybe, you are STILL struggling to not feel dependent on and entangled with someone who is presently hurting you. (more…)

 

There is a very fine line after narcissistic abuse, when we start wanting and entering new relationships.

I believe for many of us who have done the work to heal our Inner Being …

… we may be literally terrified of being co-dependent again!

We know the horror and the terror – that was literally life-threatening – when we were enmeshed to a narcissist and had powerlessly relinquished virtually all the rights of our life to them.

And maybe, you are STILL struggling to not feel dependent on and entangled with someone who is presently hurting you.