Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Stop Seeking Validation From Others

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
  I don’t know about you, but I personally know what it used to be like …. to NEVER feel good enough. Maybe you relate to this too: Trying to keep the peace, going along and pleasing other people so that you can feel accepted. Believing that how OTHER people see you is everything … And suffering the exhaustion of trying to live up to THEIR standards to get some crumbs of their love. (more…)

 

I don’t know about you, but I personally know what it used to be like …. to NEVER feel good enough.

Maybe you relate to this too:

Trying to keep the peace, going along and pleasing other people so that you can feel accepted.

Believing that how OTHER people see you is everything …

And suffering the exhaustion of trying to live up to THEIR standards to get some crumbs of their love.

The 5 Types Of Narcissists To Look Out For When Dating

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
49
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
49
  It's very likely you know what it feels like to meet someone who you thought was kind, charming intelligent and attractive … who turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The whole experience and aftermath of having your life and soul terrorised by a narcissist can be so shocking, many people understandably, may never even want to attempt dating again. It can feel terrifying! I understand ... I truly know what this is like. My previous self felt so unsafe whilst dating after narcissistic abuse. (more…)

 

It’s very likely you know what it feels like to meet someone who you thought was kind, charming intelligent and attractive … who turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The whole experience and aftermath of having your life and soul terrorised by a narcissist can be so shocking, many people understandably, may never even want to attempt dating again.

It can feel terrifying!

I understand … I truly know what this is like. My previous self felt so unsafe whilst dating after narcissistic abuse.

Why Breaking Up With A Narcissist Feels Like Detoxing From A Drug

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
35
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
35
  It takes us completely by surprise … The feelings of losing our mind, being out of control … and trying to STOP ourselves wanting to go back … Even when we know better! We understand that things don’t change. We KNOW that every time we return, within a short amount of time all the dread, pain and horrible feelings came back again. (more…)

 

It takes us completely by surprise …

The feelings of losing our mind, being out of control … and trying to STOP ourselves wanting to go back …

Even when we know better!

We understand that things don’t change.

We KNOW that every time we return, within a short amount of time all the dread, pain and horrible feelings came back again.

4 Key Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
41
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
41
  I’m really excited today about talking to you about the 4 Key Stages to Healing after narcissistic abuse, because I believe there needs to be some much-needed awareness around this. I would like to put under a microscope why the old stages of healing are flawed and why they don’t grant victims of narcissistic abuse true evolution and healing, compared to the revolutionary Thriver Way to heal which does. The old systems and the new Thriver stage of healing after narcissistic abuse are in agreeance about these 4 main stages of recovery yet their reasons and the way they are carried out are very different. Let’s investigate. (more…)

 

I’m really excited today about talking to you about the 4 Key Stages to Healing after narcissistic abuse, because I believe there needs to be some much-needed awareness around this. I would like to put under a microscope why the old stages of healing are flawed and why they don’t grant victims of narcissistic abuse true evolution and healing, compared to the revolutionary Thriver Way to heal which does.

The old systems and the new Thriver stage of healing after narcissistic abuse are in agreeance about these 4 main stages of recovery yet their reasons and the way they are carried out are very different.

Let’s investigate.

Narcissistic Parents – Can The Damage Be Repaired?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
67
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
67
  Narcissistic parents affect children profoundly. Horribly … There are many people, maybe you, who suffered parenting from a mother and/or father who was entitled, self-absorbed, demanding and no matter what you did it was never good enough. Or maybe this parent was simply too busy or entrenched in their own stuff to be available emotionally for you. Of course, parents do the best they can with the resources they have … yet narcissistic parenting takes abuse to another level. Those affected by a narcissistic caretaker, struggle to develop into adults feeling whole, capable, emotionally solid and able to generate their own life healthily – because of not being able to establish their own values, needs, voice or rights. (more…)

 

Narcissistic parents affect children profoundly.

Horribly …

There are many people, maybe you, who suffered parenting from a mother and/or father who was entitled, self-absorbed, demanding and no matter what you did it was never good enough.

Or maybe this parent was simply too busy or entrenched in their own stuff to be available emotionally for you.

Of course, parents do the best they can with the resources they have … yet narcissistic parenting takes abuse to another level.

Those affected by a narcissistic caretaker, struggle to develop into adults feeling whole, capable, emotionally solid and able to generate their own life healthily – because of not being able to establish their own values, needs, voice or rights.

9 Hoovering Techniques Narcissists Use To Hook You Back In

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
42
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
42
  I know what it’s like (and you might too) to FINALLY hear what you needed to give a narcissist another chance. Yet … EVERY time we do, our stomach sinks, we start feeling uneasy and before long, we can’t believe what we signed up for. Things haven’t changed! He or she is not acting better and not only are we back at square one, we are also even more traumatised, shattered and hooked in than we were before. You might have heard of the term ‘hoover’. (more…)

 

I know what it’s like (and you might too) to FINALLY hear what you needed to give a narcissist another chance.

Yet … EVERY time we do, our stomach sinks, we start feeling uneasy and before long, we can’t believe what we signed up for.

Things haven’t changed!

He or she is not acting better and not only are we back at square one, we are also even more traumatised, shattered and hooked in than we were before.

You might have heard of the term ‘hoover’.

Are You Afraid To Go Inside?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
59
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
59
  In my opinion, the BIGGEST thing that stops people from healing the Thriver Way is the NORMAL terror of going inside to meet their wounds. Why wouldn’t you be terrified of doing this? Emotional pain hurts … it can feel overwhelming, insurmountable and like it will never end … and if you DO go into it that you possible WON’T be able to function. We have been encouraged, all our life, to avoid our emotional pain at all costs. However, by the time we have experienced narcissistic abuse, does this work? (more…)

 

In my opinion, the BIGGEST thing that stops people from healing the Thriver Way is the NORMAL terror of going inside to meet their wounds.

Why wouldn’t you be terrified of doing this?

Emotional pain hurts … it can feel overwhelming, insurmountable and like it will never end … and if you DO go into it that you possible WON’T be able to function.

We have been encouraged, all our life, to avoid our emotional pain at all costs.

However, by the time we have experienced narcissistic abuse, does this work?

Narcissistic Abuse: Steps, Expectations and Possibilities With Jeanine Staples

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
31
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
31
  The last few weeks have been such an exciting time for myself and the MTE team. It's been incredible to see so many Thrivers, from all walks of life, coming together to spread awareness of narcissistic abuse, and the tools to heal for real from it. I absolutely adore connecting with you all! Please know, my new book You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse can be in your hands in just 3-4 days time if you are in North America or Europe. You can pre-order your copy here to make sure it arrives as soon as possible. But before you get a chance to read You Can Thrive, I wanted to bring you this next special guest interview ... (more…)

 

The last few weeks have been such an exciting time for myself and the MTE team.

It’s been incredible to see so many Thrivers, from all walks of life, coming together to spread awareness of narcissistic abuse, and the tools to heal for real from it.

I absolutely adore connecting with you all!

Please know, my new book You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse can be in your hands in just 3-4 days time if you are in North America or Europe.

You can pre-order your copy here to make sure it arrives as soon as possible.

But before you get a chance to read You Can Thrive, I wanted to bring you this next special guest interview …

Why Narcissists Devalue You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
58
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
58
  Narcissists are NASTY people. Yes, absolutely they can be delightful … But, when they lash out ... all bets are off. No matter what you are doing they find fault; the ways to criticize you, put you down, bring up your most painful wound and throw it in your face, go over again what you seemingly did to them that can never be forgiven … and the list goes on and on. All of which makes you doubt yourself and seriously question your own integrity, intentions, and identity. (more…)

 

Narcissists are NASTY people.

Yes, absolutely they can be delightful …

But, when they lash out … all bets are off.

No matter what you are doing they find fault; the ways to criticize you, put you down, bring up your most painful wound and throw it in your face, go over again what you seemingly did to them that can never be forgiven … and the list goes on and on.

All of which makes you doubt yourself and seriously question your own integrity, intentions, and identity.

The 5 Traits That Make You Susceptible To Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
62
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
62
  Narcissists know how to target, charm and ensnare people. Soooo many of us, despite being smart, capable and even highly successful people in so many areas of our lives, were taken in. And … so many of us shook our heads, threw our hands up into the air and exclaimed – “WHY is this happening to me?!” I was there, and I know you, more than likely, have been as well. (more…)

 

Narcissists know how to target, charm and ensnare people.

Soooo many of us, despite being smart, capable and even highly successful people in so many areas of our lives, were taken in.

And … so many of us shook our heads, threw our hands up into the air and exclaimed –

“WHY is this happening to me?!”

I was there, and I know you, more than likely, have been as well.