Melanie Tonia Evans

The Stalking Narcissist – Will They Ever Leave You Alone?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 8
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans


Being stalked is horrible.

If you are going through this right now, it is likely that you feel high levels of anxiety, and it’s really difficult for you to settle into getting on with your life.

What is this person doing when they are stalking you?

Are they gathering information on social media to use against you?

Are they following you to try to perform a ‘hoover’ on you?

Do they want to threaten … or even hurt you?

Whatever it is, ABSOLUTELY one the most disconcerting and frightening things about narcissistic abuse is STALKING.

So … what is our way out?

I promise you there is a Quantum answer that is so big and powerful it does bring absolute freedom, and I can’t wait to share it with you in this new episode!



Video Transcript

Being stalked is one of the most terrifying things we can experience from a narcissist. I totally get how shattered, violated and scared you feel if you are going through the horror of this right now.

Being stalked, or even the threat of stalking incites feeling agoraphobic about going anywhere or doing anything in case the narcissist is following you.

You don’t know where he or she could turn up and what drama could ensue.

Maybe, you feel totally fearful about having any social media accounts. Maybe you know that the narcissist has used methods and people to hack into your information or find out details about you to use against you or terrorise and dismantle your life.

Of course, the prospect of anything like that is terrifying.

All of this is especially terrible when we know that we are dealing with jealous, controlling narcissists. These are the ones who are the most likely to be vindictive, poisonous and even dangerous.

And I also get how after being stalked and not knowing whether or not we are being – that we may be in constant paranoia wondering if we still are being stalked. We don’t know whether it is safe to come back out and if we do what will be fed to others, used against us in court or flung in our face. Or if joint-parenting, how the stalking of our information may be used against us with our children or incite further abusive interrogation of our children.

Additionally, you may suspect the people who come and see you or talk to you are actually minions of the narcissist. You don’t know who or what to trust. Gang stalking can be a very real phenomenon with narcissists, whereby their stories about you have incited other people to cyber stalk and bully you or attack you in your everyday life operations.

And all of this can hang around for years making your life feel terrorised, diminished and drastically unsafe. I promise you unless I had found the solution to this, I too would be completely minimalised. In fact, I know I would never have survived.

Okay, what I really want to do in this Thriver’s TV episode is to empower you to know HOW to be your authentic and powerful self, no matter what the narcissist is or isn’t doing regarding stalking you. This is vital, because the way to break through this all comes back to Quantum Law – so within, so without. In fact, one of the times that we need to break through into our true authentic selves the MOST is when we are under the threat of stalking.

Some people may tell you to threaten a narcissist back to stop them stalking you or attempt to expose them and bring them into accountability. I have to say, in all the time I have been a part of this incredible community, I am yet to see enough evidence that this is effective to even consider recommending it. In stark contrast, I have seen people trying to get even and ‘one-up’ the narcissist come off incredibly badly because no level of doing that will ever be effective when we are coming from the inner emotional container of trauma. I talk about this in my video How To Outsmart A Narcissist The Right Way.

Traditionally narcissists feed off your energy as a shark does blood and get energised to attack you. There is a much better way to overcome the narcissist’s stalking.

This is it: Not give a crap.

Meaning, heal to the empowered level where you have the healthy beliefs ‘all of life supports me’ and ‘my radiant, authentic self is impervious to abuse – just as a result of being myself.’

People ask me often as to whether or not I am perturbed about the ex-narcissists stalking me online. Both of these men were very vindictive men – but the truth is I don’t care if they look my stuff up constantly or not at all. I’m not worried about them having a crack at me, or any narcissist having a go at me for that matter.

Because there is just a simple philosophy – ignore the nasty behaviour and if a boundary is crossed – simply enforce it. This means to block a person who is being abusive or take out an intervention order if necessary.

If smearing or minions happen (and there was plenty of that!), I now know what is important is, I believe in me and what I am doing, and what any particular person does or doesn’t think, is none of my business.

If we are immobilised with fear, the narcissist has won. It means we shrink, hide, defend and become paralysed in expressing our true self and true life. It means the narcissist still owns our soul and therefore life-force.

I love that when we become ‘anti-fear’, truly we get to live the Quantum Law, the freedom of so within, so without.

We get to see how powerless narcissists are against people who no longer have fear, no longer grant them narcissistic supply and quite frankly couldn’t care less about them.

Narcissists have to take their energy elsewhere because there is not the payoff of narcissistic supply anymore – which is: ‘I affect this person hugely. Therefore, I must be significant.’

In a practical sense when a narcissist is stalking you – when you are firmly in No Contact, and you have proof and report it all calmly and clearly, you will do really well in a legal sense. You will be able to get an intervention order in place.

When you are terrorised, have scanty facts, and come across as deranged and/or paranoid, you will not do well at all. You will simply come away from a courthouse or the police feeling even more vulnerable, unsafe, alone and unsupported.

Over the years, so many people have said to me, ‘I know he/she is watching me and trying to find out things about me. I can’t be on social media or do anything at all publicly anymore.’  This is my answer to that: Your greatest goal is to love your life and not care less. Be you, live loud and proud and big and truthfully and authentically. Clear yourself of your trauma and fear and because of narcissistic abuse, emerge as your truest and highest self, and you will see narcissistic people run for the shadows to escape your light just as a vampire can not stand daylight.

And I truly believe this is the case regardless of your circumstances. Even if you are going through custody and property settlements and even if you are parallel parenting. Of course, block the narcissists from your life on social media etc. This is about boundaries, but don’t dim down, repress yourself or shut down.

That is exactly the energy where the narcissist has you and can torment the hell out of you – energetically and literally.  Don’t feed him or her emotional energy in the way of fear, defenses and resentment. Instead get to total detachment and indifference. That is where your true power lies.

Back in my times of being in absolute terror and the emotional fear and horror of being stalked I finally, finally realised that I had to live on my feet and clear all the trauma I could about this.

So purposefully and determinedly I imagined what it would feel like to have him follow me, approach me, be anywhere I was, and I shifted and shifted out the trauma with NARP until I felt absolutely nothing about it whatsoever.

That is when it stopped! That is when the total terror campaign ended. It’s Quantum Law – it couldn’t have gone any other way – so within, so without.

I also worked solidly on all the faulty and painful beliefs that in truth I had carried all my life (which were, of course, Quantumly replaying!) such as:

I am not safe in life.

People can destroy me

If I don’t hide, I will be annihilated.

I am now so grateful I was stalked by a narcissist and suffered insane levels of fear, in order to find and face and heal these traumas with NARP. In reality, they had been haunting me my entire life, not allowing me to shine in my life as myself.

This is the gift you truly have to look forward to when you do the same.

Is this ringing bells for you? Is it resonating deeply and clearly inside you? I hope so because the truth has a way of doing that!

Please know you do have the power inside you to create your inner Universe in the way that your outer universe will respond.

When the people who used to hurt you can no longer energetically connect to you, they are removed, because Quantum Law – so within, so without, is as absolute as gravity.

It’s the only place our true power is.

Does this help?

So, if you know its time to get off your knees, heal all of this and live on your feet as your true self with no more fear – I’m going to show you exactly how to achieve this.

To get started you can sign up to my free 16-day recovery course, which includes an invitation to a healing workshop with me (where you will feel an immediate shift and relief), a set of eBooks and lots more. To access these, just click the link on the top right of this video.

And if you want to see more videos make sure you like and subscribe, so you get notified as soon as each new video is released.

So, until next time… keep smiling, keep healing and keep thriving because there’s nothing else to do


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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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52 Thoughts on The Stalking Narcissist – Will They Ever Leave You Alone?
    Michael Land
    June 21, 2018

    Thank you so much! I was completely unaware that I have been hiding from the ex narcissists in my life. Completely unaware that I have these beliefs that you discussed. I haven’t used social media in years for that reason. Have had a couple of stalkers in the past, and one incident recently from a lady I haven’t seen in twenty years. I’m so thankful that you discussed this issue, and now that I’m conscious of it, I can begin to heal it. I dearly needed to hear this. Thank you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 21, 2018

      Hi Michael,

      I am so pleased this has helped you feel the power ‘in being you’!

      Yay I am so happy for you that you are going to heal and come out.

      That is living!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

        June 23, 2018

        Hi Mel

        It’s been 3 years and he’s still stalking.
        Goes places he knows I will be and moved his girlfriend into a house down the street from me.

        His girlfriend is 30 years younger than him.
        I see him out with plenty of other women too.

        It’s so annoying, wish he would just move away!

          June 23, 2018


          I have been doing exactly what your video says but it seems to me that the more accepting I have become the more he enters into my life I can’t seem to avoid him as I wrote earlier I’m waiting for that law to start working!

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          June 23, 2018

          Hi Angela,

          Have you done the inner work on you regarding how this feels?

          Truly when you couldn’t care less, it stops.

          I’d love to invite you to come next to my transformational resources, which is where the way to heal from the inside out is:

          I hope this helps.

          Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 21, 2018

    Wow, Melanie, I LOVE your stuff!! I LOVE how empowering the belief systems that you promote feel! They feel right.

    Can I ask–how do I achieve the certainty that this information–“so within, so without” is true?? I really WANT to believe it, but I am also a bit terrified that it’s not, and that somehow I’ll be let down.

    Since eliminating the Narcissist that I was married to (divorced in January) and successfully maintaining ‘No Contact,’ I have found myself feeling really alone–I have realized that a number of people in my immediate family are quite toxic, and possibly even Narcissists, and I was heavily smeared to the people that live nearby me…so social supports feel practically non-existent right now.

    I have recently started working with NARP, and I will continue with that…but I really would like to have a social connection with someone that I can rely on to help me through this process. Since I know that many good changes have ALREADY happened within me, when will the healthy people and experiences begin to come into my life??

    I guess that right now I just really HOPE that all of the things that you say are true, and that I have a bright future ahead of me; and I yearn to KNOW it for myself.

    Any thoughts??


    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 21, 2018

      Hi Annie,

      I am so pleased that you can feel hope cellularly inside you … that is your Inner Being saying ‘yes!’.

      Annie there is only one way to know that Quantum Law works and that is to start living it- period.

      The great news is that we start getting very rapid shifts and changes within and without – as undeniable proof when we let go of trying to change the outer and fully commit to the inner instead.

      Okay – your social connection, your Tribe with who you will Thrive is all the incredible members in the NARP Forum. My dearest soul sisters and brothers are there … and truly so are yours!

      There is no better people to journey with because a) they know exactly what you have been through and b) they are also at various levels of their journeys of becoming their true self, the Quantum Creators they really are!

      My highest suggestion is that you hook up with us there!

      You’ve got this Annie and we’ve got you.

      What else is there to do?

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 21, 2018

    Hello. I’ve experienced gangstalking in a horrific sense. But not by my abusive/narc spouse. I don’t know, it certainly appears Masonic Temple was involved, possibly because of satanic abuse by my mother in my childhood. Also a former boyfriend and his family members may have been involved. It has been a huge issue, spanning decades. I’ve endured frightening things, even physical torture through electronic/satanic weapons and beaming. No one is gong to help you get a restraining order on THAT. Every area of my life, home, privacy, has been invasively attacked. My narc husband refused to believe me and I suffered horrific abandonment and betrayal issues here. I also than experienced paranoia which further discredited me to my children.
    In short it has been hell.

    I had two mental breakdowns, was put on a horrible antipsychotic which further deteriorated my adrenal and endocrine health, and then weaned myself off the medication. My husband still believes I am mentally ill and need to be on medication. He even goes so far as to say I’m schizophrenic, something even the psychiatrist said was not the case.

    I suffered adrenal breakdown and then learned I had Lyme disease as well. My husband says the adrenal exhaustion, Lyme disease and C-PTSD from my childhood are all in my head. I know he is sick himself and unable to face his own childhood traumas. I am leaving him now after 22+ misetsble years.

    A kind angel of a woman has been doing Body Code work on me and has brought about immense healing of the Lyme disease and my fear levels. I am no longer electronically/psychically attacked, and the gamgstslking has backed off to a huge degree.

    I am still quite dizzy and have insomnia and strange neurolgical issues from both adrenal malfunction and unresolved C-PTSD, as well as the fact that my body is still healing from damage from the Lyme.

    But one stalking issue remains: the vehicular harassment of many many freaks who appear in the same places over and over with white vans, Chevy pickups and other vehicles, usually with one headlight. I have worked on not reacting with fear with this, yet it continues on a massive scale as I travel about town and from city to city over many miles. It has gone on for over ten years now. You can’t put a restraining order on stalking and harassment of this scale.

    It would seem the unresolved childhood trauma is linked in with these nightmares.

    I have a fear I must have been a very, very bad person in a past life.

    I’m hoping that healing myself of the childhood traumas will put an end to all of this hell. I don’t know how I’m going to get there. Dare I hope?

      June 21, 2018

      Oh I might add I’m doing NARP, or trying to, but really struggling with an inability to get any breakthroughs or progress in Module 1.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 21, 2018

      Awww gosh Mary Sue,

      My heart goes out to you and I totally get that you have suffered this terror and terrorising for so long.

      That is wonderful that you are doing the Body work on the internal traumas to release them and reprogram your subconscious.

      It’s very important that you continue and get your practitioner to target the traumas related to those past life feelings. That is key.

      If you find the Body Code worker doesn’t work at that deeper level you may wish to work with NARP (my healing process does) or a kinesiologist who can access and shift past life trauma.

      I truly believe in doing that you will finally achieve your relief and liberation.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

        June 22, 2018

        Thanks Melanie ❤️
        Is there someone on NARP Forum I should ask for to assist me in targeting the traumas related to past life feelings/issues? Is there a particular starting point in NARP modules or other materials or a process of steps you would recommend to get this rolling? I went to the forum but don’t know who to ask for or how to begin….
        And I’ve mentioned I’m already frustrated with lack of progress in my efforts with Module 1. People have kindly given me suggestions and I’ve tried their recommendations but I’m not getting anywhere. So…..?

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          June 22, 2018

          Hi Marysue,

          Truly you just need to reach out in there and the support and coaching will start.

          Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 21, 2018

    Weird timing Melanie! I would love your input as this is now for me….I was discarded in Jan. then hoovered, promises of undying love, begging etc. I rejected him and sent him an email, let him know that I am done and that I now realize he has a personality disorder, and asked him to leave me alone. He of course sent a text right away and has texted many times since, most of which I do not acknowledge. It has been easy to be low contact because I now live over 1000 miles away. I hadn’t blocked him on Facebook as I didn’t want to upset him as he has said many times at the very least we’ll remain friends.
    But recently he’s back to texting often, and now calling. I have decided to block him on FB and on my phone in the next few days. He doesn’t like surprises and I know he’ll be furious. He will resort to emailing me, so I have drafted an email to send him at the same time. If not, he may contact my family members acting like a victim again. It’s a very mean email where I have explained what he has done, that I know he’s a covert narc., etc. It will be my closure and he won’t be able to respond or retaliate as he’ll be blocked everywhere.
    I would appreciate any input from Melanie or anyone else here!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 21, 2018

      Hi Tanya,

      It really is about block and ignore and totally get the point when you are not frightened, concerned or worried in any shape or form.

      Tell your family not to respond or even discuss it with you. There are so many more important, wonderful and enriching experiences to put our attention on.

      Which are Real Life!

      Mel ❤️💕❤️

    June 21, 2018

    Melanie……….thank you for this!!!!!!

    My ex narc stalked me for about 6 months. It was the most horrifying thing to go through and really paralyzing. And I’ve done all of it, I fought back, I told him off, I tried to scare him back, I lowered myself to his level …oh my. And yes, I can agree that all those things does absolutely nothing to them, but great harm to ourselves. So, I basically hurt myself.

    However, one little trick with all this and that is if you are not healed and still operating from your trauma, there’s a NEED to keep the narc around. It’s a strange phenomenon and psychological pull where once the narc stops stalking, you are wondering what happened. This happened to me. I was horrified and missing it at the same time. I really had a lot of work to do on myself because that’s how messed up I was and how I was totally operating on my traumas.

    So, with that said, I firmly believe that as long as you are NOT A SOURCE OF SUPPLY, they will go away. Their behavior is twisted only to be vindictive and as long as they know they’ve hurt you (which they want), they will continue this crazy behavior. Once you are no longer a source of supply, they will move on to other people who will give them the supply they so desperately need to survive. For me, they key here was to establish some good solid, healthy boundaries. Healthy being the key word here.

    I am good. I don’t care where this person is or where this person goes. I live my life the way I want. This person will not control me and all I care about is the quality of my life and the road I am on and the road I choose for the future. It’s certainly not this craziness.

    So within, so without indeed! Thanks again Melanie.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 21, 2018

      Hi Linda,

      It’s my pleasure!

      Awww gosh you are correct one million billion percent! That is soooo True.

      When you heal and purge yourself of all of that…it’s when energetically all ties are severed.

      Many many people achieve that total energetic psychic emotional disconnect from the N in their life during Module 9 work in NARP (which is specifically for that).

      Then it’s N game over and True Life begins!

      Yay Linda it’s so awesome you reached this level and thank you for this powerful point and your honesty!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      June 21, 2018


      Wow! You are where I want to be! Thank you for inspiring confidence that moving forward is the only way out of this. Healing trauma, healthy boundaries. And, of course, the ability not to give a crap. 😉

      Thank you, thank you!!

    June 21, 2018

    Gosh Melanie, the timing in my life about this topic is uncanny. I have been stalked for the past year both physically and electronically .the latest episode involved someone leaving me “presents” on my desk inside my home even though there is a TRO. My shoes were cut up and missing out of my closet the straps were left on my desk. They believe he has hired someone to do it. You are 100% when you say they go away when you do not supply them. I can honestly say you have been a tremendous source of information and hope through all of this. I don’t know why but he doesn’t get under my skin. Maybe that is healing? :).

    Thank you for all you do in this community. Your kindness and compassion is lovely.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 22, 2018

      Hi JC,

      Truly without reactions and without us feeding it, it does go away.

      Keep up the great work!

      And thank you for your lovely compliment.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    Malou Theisen
    June 21, 2018

    What a great help you are! Brilliant timing, for today is my birthday too 🙂

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

    June 21, 2018

    Thank you so much for this! This was just what I needed today as the n is closing in at the moment (moving closer to me). Unfortunately I still have to have contact due to our children, but I’ve already come such a long way using NARP.

    I feel as though he sensed my disinterest, so is trying to up his game by moving close and trying to infiltrate my life. I can’t imagine a time when it doesn’t effect me one way or another if I have to be near him at school events etc., but I will continue to NARP because I know it works.

    I’ve written down some of the things you said and fully intend to live “loud and proud” while I work on my underlying issues using NARP. I’m off to do module 8 now 😃

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 22, 2018

      Hi Ann,

      That is so great you are on it!

      I can feel your determination and spirit from here!

      You go Lady!!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 21, 2018

    Thanks so much Melanie, it’s unbelievable how far they go. Even while ignoring him 100% , they ofcourse find a way to slipthrough the ‘ net’ .
    My constant fear of that and all hiding threats I can ‘ t even prove of, and he knows that…andere constant trying to stay in my ignoting ..pfffff It made me use NARP even more than ever before. The serie of “how to break the N’s conditioning ” part 2 is doing it’ s work so well for me..thanks so much for that ! 🙏❤ And when unexpected fear and all The storm inside comes up, Module 1 short is very effective and reliefing .
    My fear is about to vanish so much if not almost totally…it feels liberated ..amazing !!!
    It ‘ s true ,they will keep doing what they do…It’ s all about me …Not giving one tiny piece of crap.
    He is all you mentioned here above. It was almost too much to handle..And it’ s me who had to learn .
    I think I am gonna be very OK.
    I am so thankful


    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 22, 2018

      Hi Boudewien,

      You are doing such a great job, truly.

      Just be really attentive to your belief and then you can eradicate the ones that aren’t serving you. You see we are that powerful a Quantum Creator (all of us).

      Your first paragraph is an example of this Dear Lady. Release that belief, and you will see a big shift!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    R L Scott
    June 21, 2018

    Melanie, I enjoyed your video but still have my doubts. My “ex-boyfriend” showed up at my new job two weeks ago. I hadn’t seen him for over a year and a half and have no idea how he found out where I now work. This pattern of behavior has been taking place over the past 10 years. He would get angry and have some perceived grievance and disappear anywhere from 2 months to 2 years and always seemed to work his way back with promises and lies. No more! I have reached the point that I know I can no longer live with the stress and drama that he brings to my life.

    The visit at my work place surprised me, but I felt no connection with him any more. I was polite, because I work a front desk job and my boss also happened to be standing next to me, so I was 100% professional.

    Now, I am afraid that he will start coming around again. I hope I showed enough indifference to him when he appeared at work, but he has so much false self-confidence and an ego as large as an ocean. How can I make his next appearance the final one? I love my life now!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 22, 2018

      Hi RL,

      I hope this can help you, this simple truth.

      When you no longer could care less whether or not him turning up will be ‘the last time’ then it is likely to be the last time.

      N’s are pushing us into this higher vibrational lesson, ‘my inner state is no longer determined by outside events’ meaning when you truly have shifted out all the trauma he represents then he gets zero energetic feed off you and you will have evolved to the level your soul is pushing you to go to.

      The thing is Ns, without exception, are all triggering off some unhealed wound – a fear, a trauma – that we have not been able to heal yet. An inner trauma within us that was in existence before they even came along.

      Once we heal and resolve what they are triggering inside us, then the soul contract is complete and they leave our life.

      This is to do with the inner work that is my transformational resources:

      I hope this helps explain.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 21, 2018

    Thank you for this. I’ve been trying to avoid encounters with the ex, constantly changing my life so as not to have to run into him anymore, having anxiety attacks when I do. Done. It’s time to work this out, stop being afraid and start living my life with enthusiasm! I have a life to live and people to share it with. You’re so right in that not giving in to their behavior is the best way of rising above it. Empowering. No more getting “triggered” when he shows up somewhere he knows I’m going to be. No more. Just keep living out loud. Joyful, colorful, smiling, sharing God’s love with people. I have tears even writing this because I KNOW it’s the truth! Again, thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 22, 2018

      Hi Kelli,

      Yay! I love that you are going to turn around and claim your power and your life! Enough is enough!

      So happy for your breakthrough!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 22, 2018

    I love you.

    Marla OConnor
    June 22, 2018

    I just came across this article and im thrilled to know im doing something right.
    I have been with this person narc) for the past 8 years. It has been the hardest lonliest most terrifying time im my life. I guess i never understood how anyone who supposidly loved you. Could hurt you so badly. Then one day my sister sent me links to articles all about the narssist and the abuse they cause. Omg i have never been so blown away. There were others like me. This is real. I have read everything i can get my hands on and still do only as a reminder of who he really is.
    It has taken me years to get away. My narc is the most dangerous kind. He has followed through with horrible things to hurt/ruin me. I finally came to a point where im sick of running in fear of whats going to happen next. It could be death. But you know what….i dont give a shit anymore. Do it! I could care less. I wont be ruled by him anymore. I really feel it and mean it. I have finally left for the last time. It has only been 3 months no contact but i mean it and i dont give him any power when he tries to get to me. At first it was so hard. I was constantly having to remind myself who i am …work on me …not put any thoughts into him. Put all energies on me. Let me tell you. Im getting my happy back. I am living again. My life the way i want to and it feels good. I dont care about anything that has to do with him anymore This is my life! By coming online and reading with this community of people i have learned i am doing it all right this time. Im thankful you all are on here sharing and advising. Thank you. Smiles to you all!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 23, 2018

      Hi Maria,

      That is so great that you got to that point of ‘enough’ and put your energy, focus and healing into you.

      That is truly when they cease to have all power over us.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 22, 2018

    Sweet Melanie Tonia Evans,

    You always hit the nail at the top where it is ought to be hit. Thank you.

    I remember asking you what should i do because after maintaining NO CONTACT at home with the narcissist he has started coming to church where i go and where i am a Choir member. Sweetie, i didn’t know it could be STALKING but you have nailed it.

    I would very much love to continue NO CONTACT even in public areas, even in church and i know this will shrink him to death because he is a coward and this will make him fear even to talk to me in public whereby on the other hand i will continue Thriving and gaining Power, safety and freedom.

    This advice of NO CONTACT has really helped me to heal.

    2016 I exposed him to Rev. and church members so his abuse is well known locally.

    What if I IGNORE him publicly to make him continue shrinking in shame? What would you advise ?

    Thank you my dear because having you in my life is a blessing and i can see myself getting far.

    You are my model. Blessings

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 23, 2018

      Hi Rebecca,

      Absolutely grant him no energy or attention. When starved of that a narcissist has got to get it elsewhere.

      I am so pleased I could help Rebecca and keep up the great work Lovely Lady.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    June 22, 2018

    God bless you for powerful inspiration,

    “….Clear yourself of your trauma and fear and because of narcissistic abuse, emerge as your truest and highest self, and you will see narcissistic people run for the shadows to escape your light just as a vampire can not stand daylight….”

    “….And I truly believe this is the case regardless of your circumstances. Even if you are going through custody and property settlements and even if you are parallel parenting. Of course, block the narcissists from your life on social media etc. This is about boundaries, but don’t dim down, repress yourself or shut down….”

    “….That is exactly the energy where the narcissist has you and can torment the hell out of you – energetically and literally. Don’t feed him or her emotional energy in the way of fear, defenses and resentment. Instead get to total detachment and indifference. That is where your true power lies…”

    God bless you

    June 23, 2018

    Hi Melanie,
    How about sociopaths, are they the same as narcs? They are looking for supply too?
    I got very scared meeting one. He is a womanizer and I was very scared thinking how many women he abuses.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 23, 2018


      Yes I do believe it is the same thing – people pathologically manipulating others for their self gain.

      There is no upside Nicoleta to connecting to people that signal unease within us.

      There are plenty of good people in the world to connect to!


    June 24, 2018

    The NARCISSIST i know doesnt and has never stalked me but he always have and still does to this very day is stalked his next victim or supply right in front of me and especially behind my back and if i bring it up he has the nerve to tell me im obsessed with who ever he is obsessed with

    Erica Garcia
    July 6, 2018

    Hi, thank you so much for what you do! Question: Would you rid yourself of exposure to all of his possible minions?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 6, 2018

      Hi Erica,

      Really trust yourself.

      If it feels healthier to do that then by all means do.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    July 7, 2018

    You imply like when we sing praise songs in Church?? Larry
    asked and daddy nodded. ?Well I could make up a worship
    song.? So Larry jumped to his toes and started to make
    up a music to a really bad tune. ?Jesus is so cool. Its fun being with God.
    He is the funnest God anyone may have.? Larry sang very badly so
    Lee had put his arms over his ears.

    Betty Hansen
    July 13, 2018

    Thank you so much I am going through this still.. cyber bullying stealing information there’s times I don’t say anything he has people pretend to be my friend and then attack me I never knew anybody like that existed and I ask myself why me why did he chose me? I’ve started working on no contact rule and there’s times it’s very hard but I love what you wrote and I understand what you’re saying and thank you so much A lot of people don’t understand what we go through..

    July 20, 2018

    Hello…I am new to this blog. I have felt stalked by someone I believe to be a narcissist. I have cut him off as much as I feel possible. It hurts, but what hurts more is the lies he is telling to family members. He has admitted that he will turn family against me and those close to me. His attempts at this are working and someone very close to me won’t talk to me. This other family member is apparently believing the lies and won’t talk to me. What do I do? It is absolutely tearing me apart. The slanders are deep and very cruel.

    July 25, 2018


    Hoping you cAn help me.

    I also left and went back Unfortunately, I did not know he had a plan to destroy my life and it seems he had already turned friends, family, neighbors, therapists, even the homeless shelter. against mme. Worst of all, any authority figure that is meant to help. I was left homeless and was told “now comes The penniless part”.

    It is impossible to go No Contact if some controls all of everything in your life. as in recording phone calls, controlling what emails or phone calls you can send or receive, has listening devices and tracking devices every where.

    My reputation has been ruined. I “do” look like the crazy one because I endured this extreme abuse for a long time. He literally turned a while community against me and I was run out of town. Any prospects for employment are dismal. I was a stay at home mom and The constant chaos kept me from being able to work and continues to do so.

    I was put in situations where I was being set up to break the law and unfortunately some of the people involved ARE the law.

    I know what his goal is. I was basically told it wouldn’t stop until I was “gone” (literally).

    I want nothing more than to have a norMal life. I will be tracked where ever I go. He created at least four different lawsuits in three different states. Got his record exponged in three different stated for physically abusing me.

    The miiat painful part was that my own grown children were used to set me up. I have no words for that.

    What can I do? I don’t want to give up.

    Thank so much for the valuable information you provide.

    The answer

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2018

      Hi Malliry,

      My heart goes out to you, because what you are going through is awful and understandably it feels to you like there is no end in sight.

      Please know the Thriver Way, my way to heal is radical but very effective in that it is about taking all and every focus off the narcissist and what they are doing, and instead put our focus fully into healing ourselves.

      Because that is the only thing we can control, and it is the only way we can get relief and power to return and have a way to generate a shift and change of circumstances.

      I would love you to connect to my free inner transformational resources which I know can help you start to achieve this.

      I hope this can help you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    July 25, 2018

    A few more thoughts…

    The most frustrating thing is that no one believes other people can be so manipulated. I sometimes harbor a lot of anger towards these people.

    Then I realize, that hey were manipulated….the same way I was…. gradually. What I can’t understand is why these intellegent people can’t put two and two together. they don’t understand that The very awful things that he used to turn them against me were actually manipulated by him. They broke the law for him. And they know I know. I supposed that is why they are trying to make me look like a liar and “crazy”

    I am allowed to pick myself up and get in the right track and as soon as I begin to feel stable the rug is pulled out from under me. I was even “allowed” to get a couple of jobs and then was terrorized to the point I couldn’t function. All a part of ruining my prospects for employment. Everything you need in life was taken away from me. If I said I liked/ loved something he would find a way to take it away, and MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I CAUSED IT!

    Even my grandchild was used. How can someone hurt a child on purpose, in order to make someone else look bad???!!!

    I apologize for being so wordy but I have been alone with this for so long. I exhausted every resource.

      Elise Stigliano
      August 3, 2018

      Dear Malliry and Melanie,

      Malliry’s story and anguish are so similar to mine. I have been reading accounts from other peoples’ lives and watching your videos, Melanie.

      I do not hear much about abuse to small children, by the narc, but really, I believe he is a sociopath, doesn’t really matter. My ex has abused the children by suffocating them , hitting, biting, leaving red hand prints on their skin, verbal abuse, disparaging me and claiming that my 12 year – old is faking her suicide attempts, anxiety, illness and injury, and more.

      I have primary custody, but he has kept my daughter from me for 7 months now. Of course no one outside my family agrees with me, because they see him as intelligent, and kind. When I tried to get help, every social services agency, therapist, and psychiatrist thought everything would workout in time. So, since I could’t seem to help her, she began to act out. She would run around the house yelling, “Help me mom, help me”. But she could not talk about anything. We did some coping skills and that worked for awhile. Then she would run around the house and hurt her little brother, and break his toys. The next phase was to attack me, her mother. I stayed away or in a defensive position. She never seemed angry when she attacked, she had that same expression that she had when she yelled for me to help her.
      Sometimes I had to leave the house to protect her brother. She would call her father, say that I was abusing her, her father would eat that up, and call 911. But 911 never found anything wrong with me. Then one week when she was home alone, she started 3 waste basket fires. That was about the time that she stopped coming home.
      I could sue him for contempt, but if I got my daughter back, and she would be safe from her father’s abuse, how would I help her if she started getting violent again? How would I protect her brother? My son and I are just starting to get into a routine, that is comfortable.

      Has anyone else had these experiences?

      I don’t wish a narc experience on any one, but I do feel better that you all understand what I am going through.

    August 4, 2018

    This is all new to me as I have finally realized and accepted that my sister is a narcissist. It has been a difficult and heartbreaking process to go no contact with her. She has been stalking me since I instituted this and it’s caused me great anxiety. I have binge read your articles since stumbling across them. Thank you for putting this out there. It truly helps me feel less alone, guilty and wrong for standing my ground. So many of your articles speak directly to her actions and my experiences. It’s a difficult process but a necessary one. Thank you!
    Most sincerely-Kristen

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 5, 2018

      Hi Kristen,

      You are very welcome and I am so pleased I could help.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

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