Melanie Tonia Evans

Thrivers After Narcissistic Abuse In LA

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 1
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

I have arrived back in Melbourne, and upon reflection of my wonderful trip to LA two of the hugest highlights were the Thriver meetups.

They were held where I was staying at the Hyatt Regency, West Hollywood. Unfortunately because of the weather forecast of heavy storms, many people who were travelling to these events and driving long distances wisely cancelled.

Originally there were 40 people for the Friday night dinner and 36 for the Saturday lunch, which was going to be in the alfresco area which had adequate tables and seating. Because of the weather forecast by the RSVP date there were ten people for the dinner and ten individuals for the lunch.

What was ‘meant to be’ was an extra person came to the dinner, and an extra six people arrived for the lunch date, and the Hyatt staff generously created additional seating arrangements.

I apologise to all the people who tried to confirm at the last moment… I simply couldn’t accommodate you, because the Hyatt required definite seating numbers for the meetups which needed to be indoors due to the weather.

What transpired was an intimate group of people who joined together to connect – which happened organically and gloriously!

Here is a photo of the Friday dinner Thrivers.

…and some of the Saturday lunch Thrivers

 

The Special Human Quality

What was evident was the level of positivity, flourishing and personal growth of the ladies and gents present. What truly emanated was a genuineness, a humility and a powerful orientation towards love and truth.

I have firmly believed for quite some time that people who have done the work to recover from narcissistic abuse have a certain human quality which is truly astounding.

As a result of purging so much darkness, and as a result of dissolving our own egoic fears and pain we become more light. We become more orientated in authenticity and we become more real.

We get out of our minds and the focus on trying to control ‘the outer’ in order to try to fulfil us, and we come home to being in our hearts, anchored in our body and generating life from that centre.

It’s pretty darn gorgeous, attractive and magnetic – and it creates powerful and real connections!

I was thrilled that every Thriver connected, shared contact details and bonded with each other – not to share victimised pain, but to contribute inspiration, personal growth, joy and generating success.

 

The Male Thrivers

I know there are men in the community who may feel left out (they email me or comment on facebook) – and believe that the emphasis is only on women who have been narcissistically abused.

Narcissistic abuse is not gender-specific – there are men who have been abused by women too, and they are acknowledged and supported.

I have many men (1 in 4), as personal clients and NARP members.

The healing process in the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is identical for narcissistically abused men – totally. Just as it is for same-sex narcissistic relationships.

Additionally the narcissistic dynamics I describe in my articles and radio shows is the same for any narcissistic relationship… so men please know I am speaking to and standing for you TOO!

It was fabulous to have the guys come to the lunch meetup – and so great to see how liberated they are now as a result of committing to their inner work with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, and their dedication to evolving past previous limited relationship patterns.

I LOVE that more and more men are committing to deep inner work and personal transformation, because the healing of our planet towards evolutionary relationship TRULY requires both sexes to take responsibility and do the work.

The movement of authentic feminine power is leading the way, but fellows need to stand up too.

Great stuff guys!!

John the Thriver!

Jeffrey the Thriver!

 

Eric Cassacio and His Movie

Eric Cassico, the writer and director of the movie Narcissist attended the Friday night dinner. Eric’s movie is about a male gay narcissitic relationship. It is a powerful short film, which expresses the narcissistic dynamic extremely accurately and chillingly – and this film is creating MUCH NEEDED incredible public awareness about Narcissism. Eric’s new movie is already receiving wonderful film reviews.

 You can follow Narcissist the Movie on Facebook, and check out Eric’s website for film festival screening dates. Eric has two announcements soon about the movie, and many more coming in the near future. Eric is also doing a great deal of travel to major cities for his film, and is keen to create meetups with other members of the NARP Community at these cities.

I also have to mention – Eric is an incredible human being. Everyone who knows him in LA can’t speak highly enough about him. After spending some time with Eric I truly concur, that he delivers so much compassion, love for others and commitment to this mission in the most heartfelt, wholesome and empowered way. Hence why I am so happy to help promote Eric’s work after meeting him personally.

Eric Cassacio and Brione Davis –  whose character is ‘the narcissist’ in Eric’s movie.

 

Thrivers Standing In Their Worth

It never ceases to amaze me how many incredible, beautiful and talented women have been narc abused…

I met Elene in person for the first time at the dinner Thriver meetup. She had called up my radio show Evolutionary Relationships Part 2 two days earlier.

I connected with Elene, and had dinner with her the next evening in LA.

This gorgeous girl is an engineer, a successful stock trader, and an incredible force of intelligence, beauty and love. Elene is in her early 30’s, stunning inside and out, and possesses so much grace that she adopted a three legged dog from a rescue shelter which nobody wanted and was on death row, because she has such an incredible heart and so much love to give.

I recognise how many people who have so much to offer sold out to narcissists.

What is wonderful is Elene is now working on her healing with NARP, claiming her own worth and no longer accepting ‘less than’ in her life. During our discussion at dinner together it was very evident that no longer will Elene accept insecure narcissistic individuals who are threatened by her beauty, capabilities and power, and who want to tear those brilliant qualities down.

Elene, like so many of us is uplevelling her Inner Identity to knowing her worth rather than trying to ‘see’ it through other people reflecting it back to her.

By evolving to this level – THEN we will attract healthy people, who not only have their own healthy self-worth, but who can also acknowledge ours as well.

Elene the Thriver!

Here is another photo of some of the incredible, courageous ladies who have taken the personal responsibility to work on healing themselves and who have turned narcissistic abuse into a powerful positive growth experience…

Because I adored these meetups sooo much, I have decided that I am now going to get on the road and coordinate many more of these meetups globally with the NARP community.

It is so incredible to be able to not only connect through NARP and my radio shows and blog articles, but to also spend time with some of you in person.

I will never forget the experience….it was magical.

 

What A Transformation

To see how far the Thrivers who came to the meetups have come, and witness how powerfully they are healing from narcissistic abuse is truly inspiring.

I know what that feels like….To think just a few years ago I was scared to walk out my front door, let alone jump on a plane to travel to the other side of the world alone. There is no way I would have been able to meet with producers, managers, entertainers and many other people for the first time.

The ‘old me’ would have been petrified.

One thing is for sure – I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t discovered energetic healing. Information, therapy and every other healing method I tried did not grant me this level of empowerment and freedom.

Quanta Freedom Healing has allowed me to wipe away limited beliefs that kept me stuck in a limited and fearful realities, in order to truly expand and flourish into the person I want to be.

The person who can say, at the end of her life, ‘I broke free. I showed up, I went for it – I lived my life at my highest potential’.

Truly, I want you to understand deeply, that the ONLY thing ever holding you back from your magnificent life is faulty and painful inner beliefs.

When you uplevel them everything changes.

If you are feeling stuck and you aren’t where you want to be in life, I highly suggest you join NARP members like Marla, Elene and Jeffrey and try energetic healing for yourself.

You can find out all the information for becoming a NARP member here.

Thank you to everyone who came to the Thriver meetups. I’m sure I’ll be back very soon, and know I will meet additional new Thrivers next time!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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33 Thoughts on Thrivers After Narcissistic Abuse In LA
  • bcuerden@gmail.com'
    becca
    March 6, 2014

    I love seeing all the photographs of lively vibrant people. It gives me such a lift to identify with the thriving! Last year I was merely surviving long enough to work through NARP. And coping. Now I am recovering and heading to thrivery!! YES what a difference a year of NARP makes. Thank you Melanie, once again. Your work is so enlivening and enlightening.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Becca,

      I am so thrilled you loved seeing the piccies!

      It is so important that we do identify with and orientate towards Thriving, and lovely you are doing so Becca!

      Fabbo you are doing the work with NARP and reaping the rewards…

      Gorgeous 🙂

      You are so welcome Becca!

      Mel xo

  • karenlynellewilliams@gmail.com'
    Karen Williams
    March 6, 2014

    What a lovely group of people, the height of their souls radiates from the photos ; narcs really do know how to choose the best of the best don’t they! And that is the only compliment I am giving them (narcs) ha.
    I would be interested in attending a ‘thriver’ meal which I know will appear one day at the right time for me.
    Love to all :))

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Karen,

      they are a divine group of people absolutely, as are sooo many Thrivers around the world.

      Yes ha ha, narcs go after ‘the goods’ there is no doubt!!!

      Love to see you at a Thriver get together one day – absolutely!

      Lots of love to you too Karen.

      Mel xo

  • Margarit72@aol.com'
    Jane M.
    March 6, 2014

    Mel,
    I can’t agree with you any more: please do go on the road and meet with the rest of us!
    So good to see how radiant you look in the pictures. I’ve been following your blogs for a while, and they are so meaningful to me.
    Lots of love and enormous thanks for your work.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Jane M,

      I am thrilled to finally take on what this mission FULLY calls for – and so excited about my new life of global travel!!

      I really do feel the most alive and joyous I ever have! Every day is totally wondrous 🙂

      You are so welcome Jane, and big hugs and love to you too!

      Mel xo

  • djpeart7@gmail.com'
    Jane
    March 6, 2014

    What a wonderful tribute to your amazing program Melanie.

    Gorgeous positive thriving people-it’s a true inspiration to hear all you wonderful people. I’m nearly there….and look forward to one day meeting with thrivers as well.

    lots of love and thanks to you all

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Jane,

      yes it truly is – I know how powerfully NARP creates such a dramatic shift in healing, and how this community and level of well-being could not have been created simply from ‘information alone’..

      It is the inner energetic work on the subconscious that is the powerful key component – hence why these people have ‘popped out’ the other side…

      I am so thrilled you are well on your way to Thriving! 🙂

      Lots of love to you too Jane!

      Mel xo

  • jan@bonsmarahaven.com.au'
    Jan
    March 6, 2014

    What a wonderful time you had Mel, and the photographs of all those wonderful people.
    I would love you to come and meet all your followers around Aussie. We too, would love to meet you and show our appreciation for your great work.
    Love from my wholeheart.
    Jan

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Jan,

      It was an exceptional time…thank you so much!

      There are some immediate projects to get organised, and then a very serious look at Australian meetups!

      I would love to meet you and fellow Aussie Thrivers!!!

      Awww I feel that love, and it is flowing back to you in abundance Jan.

      Mel xo

  • maureen.hughes@mailb.hse.ie'
    Maureen
    March 6, 2014

    Melanie, Court case over and all went well for me and now he is playing the victim and leveraging our 4 adults- two sons and two daughters. It was wonderful to see you all enjoying yourselves and I enjoyed the photos. Melanie I would love you to come to Ireland,just to join all the thrivers you have helped over here. Get going God bless you

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Maureen,

      I am so pleased your court case went well – that is wonderful confirmation of your evolution, self-healing and empowerment..

      Court cases with personality disordered people only go well when we really knuckle down to the inner work..

      Do shifts on yourself regarding any fear or pain that is coming up within you re him leveraging your children – and you will see them shift into ‘seeing the truth’…

      I believe the inner shift work is never MORE important than when it concerns our children – you can use the NARP goal setting module to achieve this…

      Thank you for your lovely words – and absolutely I will be planning travel to the UK – specifically London and Ireland…

      It will be gorgeous to come over and meet you and other UK Thrivers!

      Mel xo

  • pomykris@gmail.com'
    Christine
    March 6, 2014

    I have tears of Joy in my eyes . Melanie I remember finding your site approximately 6 years ago, before that I didn’t even know the meaning of the word Narc. To see so many Thrivers in LA of all places getting to this place of love and joy would have been beyond comprehension 6 years ago. I have to say that to have seen this happen for you Melanie and so many others that have had this narc experience, truly warms my heart . Puts a light back into heart where there was once only darkness. God bless you Melanie , you and your stories of those (Men and Woman) who have survived and thrived beyond the crazy making life they once lived brings me great inspiration. Thankyou Melanie, if it hadn’t been for the information you placed on the I/net I wouldn’t have even known that there was a name for the life style I was leading back then and I would never of escaped, as I really believed back then that was the life I was destined to lead. I wish you all Pure love n joy – Phew what an achievement , look at you all now xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Christine,

      I LOVE it when we get touched powerfully, -it is so wonderful to feel love in our hearts.

      Yes Christine Thriving is possible and in fact INEVITABLE when we do the necessary work on ourselves…The only determinant is whether or not we do that work…

      Please know this never (for any of us) is something just ‘other people’ achieve – our greatest responsibility to humanity and this world is to MAKE SURE that we PERSONALLY take on, stand up and become this level of light and love…

      That is the ONLY way this world is ever going to get well…100% personal responsibility…

      Lots of love dear soul!

      Mel xo

  • Deb7611814@aol.com'
    Debbie Hadgkiss
    March 7, 2014

    Melanie, I had such tears of joy while reading this blog article and still do at the moment along with viewing the photos. I knew in my heart that the LA meetup would be an enormous success among other things and so glad that you had a wonderful time. Just a bit sad about the weather conditions and that many were unable to make it. You look absolutely radiant and the Thrivers appear gorgeous and vibrant! I must admit I was slightly jealous to not have been at that meetup but some day meeting you and other Thrivers in person will definitely be in my cards… Sending lots of love and enormous thanks for having you in my life, for NARP, your other resources and the amazing group of special individuals in the NARC group. Additionally, sending out lots of light, love and joy to the Thrivers… We are all definitely a specialized and unique bunch. 🙂 xXxoOo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Debbie,

      Awww divine….

      Yes it was such a gorgeous communion, and even though so many people didn’t come due to the weather (which funnily enough was sooo not ‘rain’ by Aussie standards!), what transpired was of course ‘meant to be’.

      My love – you and I are totally going to meet in person with other Thrivers probably before we know it – although I do promise you this – after seeing photos of the weather where you are – I am NOT coming over unless it’s summer!

      (I’m such a wimp with the cold!!)

      Adore having you in my life too Debbie – it is magical.

      Oh yes we are all angels just needing to really feel, know, anchor into and claim our light!!

      Lots of love

      Mel xo

      • ruizdoraelia@gmail.com'
        Doraelia R
        March 14, 2014

        I love your site so much and your two books were spot on. It was completely eerie how well you knew my story. Youve enlightened so much for me and Im just grateful I only spent 7 months with the Narcissist. Anyway, Im on your mailing list please lmk when you are next in LA as I would love to go. do you offer meetings via skype or anything?

  • cmerzeder@me.com'
    Christine, Switz.
    March 7, 2014

    What a wonderful show! Loved that men were included too! After all, N abuse is about both genders. I am just about to embark on a meeting with thrivers in Germany. Thanks for the great show.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Christine,

      It was very special to have men involved! Yay!

      Wow how exciting Christine re the Thriver meetup in Germany.

      Lots of photos and reports please!!!

      You are so welcome re the show 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Carolreedcsg@gmail.com'
    Lee
    March 7, 2014

    What a great concept- building small local communities of thrivers. These can continue even without your physical presence. You can vidphone in. I want to meet with others who like me were blindsided, but have removed not only the Narc, but other self imposed limitations. It really is freeing. We can share insights, encourage one another. The specific abuse we suffered creates trust issues. Trust in others, but more importantly, in ourselves. Why didn’t we see if all sooner? But once we do see, there is no turning back…it is all onward and upward.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Lee,

      yes it is a great concept and one I am passionately exploring now.

      I love that you have stated ‘self-imposed limits’ because THAT is our key to recovery and empowerment – realising that narcissists are the powerful catalyst to show us in FULL technicolour all the fears and limitations we need to heal.

      We were not meant to see it sooner, because we required this journey to uplevel every limiting, non self-loving, non self-accepting belief we previously had about ourselves..

      Without the experience at this level we would NOT have been forced into looking at, claiming or healing our inner wounds and false beliefs…

      Recovery just about recognising narcs is mere survival, recovery involving evolving ourself is magnificent Thriving…

      That’s the true purpose and goal of this…and nothing less…

      Mel xo

  • rosestem@zoomtown.com'
    rosie
    March 7, 2014

    This article is amazing. I am so glad you had such a turn out. I definitely would love to participate in future programs. Thank you for sharing this information as I continue to make strides in my personal growth. Melanie I truly am grateful for your work and the information you have shared with me. I love you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Rosie,

      I am so glad you loved the article! It was a wonderful turnout!

      You are so welcome, and that is wonderful that you have taken on your personal growth – because that is what a Thriver does! Yay!

      I love you too Rosie 🙂

      Mel xo

  • carmelmc.99@hotmail.co.uk'
    carmel mcdonald
    March 7, 2014

    to see all those faces shining out from the photographs is so uplifting. each and everyone looks beautiful! hard to believe the reason you are all in this news letter is because of the pain we have suffered/are suffering has brought us together. much love to all. feel so proud we now realise this hasn’t been our fault. as hard as it is to believe, we were chosen by narcs for our abuse because we are so giving, loving and caring. or all these years of hurt wouldn’t have happened. shine on fellow sufferers x x x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Carmel,

      I love that you feel the upliftment!

      The irony is this – at one level it is hard to believe – but at another level it is TOTALLY believable…

      Because when life bring us to our knees (as narc abuse does) there are two choices – have your life break or make your life work – and the only way to authentically ‘make you life work’ is from the inside out.

      This level of glowing is not the ‘normal’ limited human experience, it is deeply earnt, deeply strived for and deeply committed to.

      We need to be very careful with the expression ‘not our fault’…because ‘fault’ or ‘blame’ is not useful or evolutionary when assigned to us or even used as our perception toward the narc.

      Narcissists simply do what narcissists do – their brainwiring, mental disease and development does not allow any more from them.

      Our part in the dynamic is not ‘fault’ – it simply and profoundly meant we were trying to source life from the outside of us, because we also have emotional gaps…The difference is we have the brainwiring and the desire to heal and evolve and can achieve that IF we choose to.

      BOTH narcs and us suffered from deficient emotional orientation and self-love and self-acceptance (the root of all relationship dysfunction – always beginning with relationship to SELF).

      We are not here to be ‘blamed'(or even consider the illusion that this is about ‘blame’) – we are here to evolve…and that’s the gift.

      It’s also VERY important that we don’t just shelve our abuse experiences as ‘It simply happened because I was so loving and giving’ – because truly there is zero personal growth in that assessment.

      Yes – there were things we needed to heal – DRASTICALLY – and that is why this happened to us.

      Let’s not use the expression ‘sufferers’…Suffering only occurs when we refuse to take the gift of evolving and healing – and when we choose to stay stuck as our limited old selves.

      The emotional pain (suffering) is the screaming out of our Soul “You are NOT growing – that’s WHY you are still hurting!”

      Mel xo

  • ayeshaqureshi786@yahoo.co.uk'
    Ayesha
    March 7, 2014

    Hi Melanie,

    I am sooo happy you’re finding the path you were always destined to walk. Thank you so much for your input; I left my narc husband last summer and found your website. I got so much strength, love and guidance from your words – I knew you felt it, not just in your head, but in your heart, too. I did your ten step program, and the free ‘tornado clearing’, which worked so beautifully – opened up some space inside at a time when even breathing hurt like inhaling crushed glass. I will do the full NARP recovery program (when I get the £££ – not a hint for a freebie, just FYI). I just wanted to share that I too am much more in my heart since beginning recovery through prayers, reiki, asking God to cleanse me, and anything else I have been intuitively guided towards. May God’s blessings always be with you, and may you be gifted with the best of this life and the hereafter. With Love, Ayesha xxx

    Ps Beautiful pix of beautiful people – stay sweet, thrivers:-)

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 7, 2014

      Hi Ayesha,

      Thank you – so am I 🙂

      I am so pleased my material has helped you!!

      FABBO you realise the importantce of using tools so much more powerful than ‘our mind’ to free the inner cells of the pain – and the space which opens up from healing at that level.

      When we DO anchor into those techniques we totally understand how effective it is!

      Bless you Ayesha, and wonderful, wonderful things for you too!

      Mel xo

  • Claytonruth@rocketmail.com'
    Ruth
    March 10, 2014

    Dear Mel. My heartfelt congrats on the wonderful opportunities that are opening up for you in service of bringing greater healing to others. I wish you many more in the days to follow

  • Claytonruth@rocketmail.com'
    Ruth
    March 10, 2014

    Dear Mel. My heartfelt congrats on the wonderful opportunities that are opening up for you in service of bringing greater healing to others. I wish you many more in the days to follow

  • Claytonruth@rocketmail.com'
    Ruth
    March 10, 2014

    Sorry for the repeat…

  • Crystalbatemam22@gmail.com'
    Crystal horne
    March 14, 2014

    Hi Melanie. I left my narc husband one year ago and am really greatful that your website was put in my path. I have tried to get the narp program but there seems to be a problem when I want to pay 🙁 I am in Scotland and don’t have a paypal account. I don’t know if it’s a problem as it’s dollars ???
    I can’t believe how much my life has changed since the first day of reading your blogs. Truly amazing. Thank you x x crystal

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 14, 2014

      Hi Crystal,

      I am so glad my information has been helping you.

      In relation to NARP I would check with your bank to make sure there is not an overseas purchase restriction (often that is what the problem is), and then if it still doesn’t work – you can email Harry at support@melanietoniaevans.com and he will help you!

      Mel xo

  • ruizdoraelia@gmail.com'
    Doraelia Ruiz
    March 14, 2014

    Hi unsure if my comment before went through, but I loved your books, so spot on, and id love to speak to you if you offer appointments or skype talks, recently out of a terrible N relationship ty!!

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