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This week I had the pleasure to record an interview for you with my dear friend Jeanine Staples,ย which is all about how to smooth out the barriers, blocks, and resistances we build against social and emotional intimacy.

It’s about melting the iciness within our souls.

Jeanine is a Thriver extraordinaireย because she has come back from the brink of not one but two narcissistic relationships to become a force of light in the world.

Now today Jeanine is EXTREMELY passionate about helping people take radical responsibility and empower themselves from the inside out โ€“ which is exactly the fundaments that this incredible Community is built on.

I have the utmost pleasure of sharing this interview with Jeanine because she is a truly amazing soul and such a gifted teacher.

if you haven’t heard any of her talks before I recommend you don’t miss this one!

 

 

If you enjoyed this interview Jeanine is hosting is an incredible event next week called #Coldcrush which all about freeing ourselves from the coldness in our heart, and breaking into a Thriver reality which bares no resemblance to our painful past.

By signing up for this free event you will receive information and resource packed interviews with experts from all over the world.

You will also gain access to my interview with Jeanine where I talk about Dissociative Disorder, how it impedes intimacy and shuts down self-awareness and possibilities for truthful, meaningful partnerships, and how to break free from it.

You can reserve your space for this FREE event here.

If you have any questions or comments for Jeanine or myself please post them in the comments section below.

 

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48 thoughts on “Breaking The Disconnection From Love, Intimacy And Connection With Jeanine Staples

  1. Hi Melanie, something you said in your interview with Jeanine that made such an impact was how much your healing has also healed your son. Wow!! I can’t seem to get started on your NARP Thriver program. Something is blocking me from helping myself but helping my son gives me a huge reason to go inside and help myself. Great interview, enjoyed hearing how your Thriver program has totally transformed Jeanine.

    1. Hi Anne,

      It SO does, and continues to so so, every time I shift higher.

      Anne are you in the NARP Forum https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member?

      Because myself and the other Thrivers could certainly help you locate and shift that block.

      It may be enough motivation to help your son, and maybe the block will keep sabotagng you.

      The best way to move forward is to find and address “the block” with Quanta Freedom Healing – and then it simply will not be there!

      I hope this helps!

      Mel xo

  2. You ladies are amazing. Still need to listen to some of this but work calls lol!
    I always knew a bit of the jigsaw in me was missing. It took a painful experience with 2 narcs at one time for my subconscious to become conscious. I was vulnerable as was initiating a divorce due to emotional abuse and controlling. Like magic a new friend materialises with lots of problems needing help so you can imagine I needed to help despite not knowing her. Then during this oh look a male narc sniffing around and love bombing, peptide addiction and my mind was certainly not my own. I loved him despite not seeing much of him, the anxiety attacks, depression and that’s when I realised how can you love a persons name so much as I am no fool. I knew something was not right but intuition was ignored. I got to the point of about to take my life and did not consider the effect on anyone even my 4 beautiful children. I found you Mel and actually cannot remember how either. Must have been a Google search. So now I awaken from years of subconscious sleep. The pain was intense but I did not want to die. I wanted a good life but I did not think I was worthy and if a good life materialised it was boring and not familial. Familial that was the problem. Now I realise that my childhood was not what I thought at all. I was told I was useless as a child and I became an academic but still no praise from family. I was searching for love outside of self. This was my awakening. It was needed but it was so difficult. So now I have terminated all contact with this male narc, my own mother is at arms length, my dad is removed from my life and my female friend has been removed also. I now have a calm life and am accepting the beauty of not always walking on glass as reality. I sometimes see that I would initiate an argument to be on familial ground (thank goodness that was subconscious as that is so not me). It continues to be testing changing my perceptions of what I was taught and took on as belief but behavioural change is happening to me and I love it. I realise now that I was scared to have anyone love me as I knew that would hurt me so I kept people at arms length: my dad had affairs and left my mum at points in my life, my mum always knew what was right for me and not listening to my voice (possibly she thought I was an extension of her), my grandmother who I loved so much died on me at 13 years old and I had to resuscitation her to no avail, 3 friends of mine died in separate incidents as children, a lady I like threw herself under a train, my parents were emotionally detached and my first boyfriend who I loved left me. So after all this pain who would want to be loved as it’s painful. I now realise this is so not true. This experience has been hell quite frankly but I had to experience it to wake up. It is unfortunate that I will see this male narc at events and I did recently. He said it was lovely to see me. I grunted. He said why the grunt it is really nice to see you. This is where I would usually say nice to see you to. Not anymore. I simply said thanks. His reply well you could at least say it’s nice to see me. My reply was why would I say that when I don’t mean it. Conversation over. Wow! I have changed. It’s good to be me not what I became. From writing this I realise when someone told me in the past that they loved me I said straight away don’t say things like that (it scared me and anyway no one loves me) and someone gave me an item of there’s that I needed and they did not anymore for free and I nearly said oh no I cannot accept that (I was in bits thinking I cannot be given anything it’s always me that’s the giver) when I simply said thanks and accepted the kindness.
    The work of you ladies as well as lots of reading and some councelling has helped me to recover and turn into ME. Not what everyone else expects of me. Good luck everyone. I continue to recover and am near the end. Many hours of work on me has not been selfish it has been necessary. I can honestly say now: like me for who I am and if you don’t then I don’t need you in my life.
    Thanks once again ladies and congratulations on your recovery and thanks for being there for us. ?

    1. Hi Smiler,

      thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

      I am so pleased you chose to stay on planet Earth and connect to your healing.

      There is a wonderful Life for all of us awaiting – truly – when we get free from the trauma we have accumulated and which was passed down through us.

      Wishing you all the best and sending you big hugs Smiler.

      Mel xo

  3. Thank you ladies for sharing your wisdom. You both have radiant souls and I loved that you called each other soul sisters. I am a NARP member and have come such a long way and I am continuing my journey. This episode came to me at a perfect time and Mel’s message about her son made me realize I still have work to do on me in regards to my own children and because we gave birth to them we have the authority to heal them through ourselves. Jeannie, you are such a powerful women and are an inspiration to know that your journey started with Mel as well. Ladies, you rock! Much love Amy

  4. What a beautiful & brave woman.

    This is such an incredibly beautiful interview.

    Thank you both โ™ฅ

    Amazing people :).

    โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ

    *hug to you both*

    1. Melanie something funny happened when I got to the point where you said ‘Body open and breathe’ during the interview. My body responded spontaneously as in: “are we shifting something?” The muscles in my torso tightened in a pleasant way all of a sudden, so as to have me sit up straight and prepare for a shift.

      I’m laughing as I type this, so funny!

      Again, thank you both so much. Gorgeous women :).

      These interviews really help growing my interest in other modalities/programmes. Seeing the person behind the programme/project/material and hearing about their story conveyed in their own words, makes me feel more inclined to take the person in question seriously, and not have them come across as ‘just another person trying to make a living at my expense’.

      I had come across Jeanine’s name before, but up until now I had no interest whatsoever in knowing more about her, but now I’m like wow. I’m impressed and blown away.

  5. I was told about your Quantum Healing, Melanie, by my mom. She had recently divorced my dad and as she was trying to help herself realized he was a narcissist. She told me ( since I had also received some of dad’s verbal/emotional abuse). At first I was skeptical. Then I thought since I had put a label on it things would get better. That’s when I watched my first Thriver TV episode. Things began making so much sense. But I never really tried to up-level (it sounded too Druidic or magical or something like that- as a Christian I was not sure I should do it). But I’ve been reading your blog and watching Thriver TV on and off for two years. I started the interview with Jeanine. Thank you so much for what you both said!!!! You kept talking about being love for yourself. How?! (I actually screamed at the screen). And then Jeanine said to stop when you get a trigger and feel what you are feeling, and then from a whole place from a wake state to live. And I had a trigger: tense shoulders, stomach flipped, pain in my heart. So I paused the video and started journaling. Why do I feel like I can’t love enough? Why do I feel unworthy? Why do I feel like I can’t take care of me but must always help others? Why do I feel like a failure at life? And I realized all these hurts that I had teceived from my family: I’m selfish because I tried to stand up for my space, I spend too much time on my own so I mustn’t care about them, I am an older sister who doesn’t give enough o they younger sisters. It continued to grow with me in my adulthood (in which I’m just starting at 23). I have always had trouble making friends. After all, I’m not really a very nice person (so I told myself). But time and again I have known it was t true. I am very nice. I love to help. I don’t feel whole unless I’m able to help. But I also feel so unworthy of attention. And as all this was going through my mind (thanks, Jeanine, for brining it to my attention! Seriously!), I realized that at the bottom of it is this : I hate myself. I’m not good unless I’m completely pouring out any scrap of love I have on others. And as I’m living alone, no boyfriend or any real friends close by, in a new city at a new job- first job- I simply am not giving/caring/loving/sacrificing enough. And I don’t know how to move past it. Because I also know I cannot truly love if I am not full of love – if I’m not being love , as Jeanine said. Unless God lives in me as Love and Life (Bible).
    I feel like I have all these pieces but can’t put them together into the beautiful picture I know they can be.

    1. Hi Analisa,

      I am so glad you have connected to myself and Jeanine and you are starting to get a glimmer of how things should be.

      Please rest assured there are many Christians in the Community who work with Quanta Freedom Healing and the NARP Program

      The reason why it can be so hard to overcome internal traumas logically is because they are deeply embedded in our Internal Being – in our subconscious.

      Both Jeanine and myself are adamant that we all need to go deeper and use tools that work on the subconscious shifting in order to heal. That is not “new age” … it is actually understood and asserted deeply by neuron scientists such as Joe Dispneza and Bruce Lipton.

      Hence why our “old ways” of trying to heal – which were only ever about attempts to manage symptoms … keeping us sick, alive and dependent … are not true healing at the core, and require a serious upgrade if we are to Thrive after abuse and traumatic programming … and live the Lives we were truly born to live.

      We have the way to heal now – we have the proven formula.

      My suggestion as to “what is next”, and “what to do” … dive in where you know others have made it up and out to true healing … because what else is there to do .. and what is there to lose by trying?

      Nothing except the trauma and the being stuck in pain.

      All the details you require to get started are here: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/getstarted

      Mel xo

      1. I’ve tried doing the shifting. All seems to be going well until I need to let the “tornado” carry it all away. Then something switches and immediately there’s the cognitive thought, “you’re wasting time. Grow up.” And it’s my dad’s voice I’m hearing, and a few others.
        What am I doing wrong?

        1. Hi Analise,

          you are not doing anything wrong at all.

          “That” which you have described coming up is simply another trauma to target, load up and shift out of your being – and you can do that with Module 1 or the Goal Setting Module.

          Also please know if ever you get stuck, the NARP Private Forum is the place to get the expert guidance to help you.

          https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

          I hope this helps.

          Mel xo

    1. Hi Rossana,

      we certainly are!

      Truly, dear lady the same as we heal from all our traumas – locate them in our subconscious and do the work to free ourselves internally from them.

      That is exactly the work Jeanine and I and other Thrivers in our Communities have done.

      It is the fundamental work we both do with people, through our information and Programs

      All of my details to get you started are here: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/get started and also check out Jeanine’s information too.

      Mel xo

  6. This interview was such a delight! I can’t believe how quickly the time went by- the conversation was so engrossing. Thanks for all your work which has seen me through the darkest times. I find the quantum healing so challenging on the level that once I churn up negative emotions, its incredibly hard for me to release them-its SO difficult to relax and be. That constant internal pressure is with me night and day. I too have found that if your unconscious is really jagged- affirmations and hypnosis can actually rub me up the wrong way completely- with my unconscious rejecting them quite violently. But I have been persisting with Melanie’s modules as my unconscious can work with her ‘divine right’ and wholeness suggestions. Thanks again, Mel, for all that you do!

    1. Hi Stella,

      I am so pleased you loved the interview …

      I would love you to come into the NARP Forum (if you haven’t already) https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member to reach out and connect in to support in regard to your difficulties with releasing and being with the painful emotions – because truly these are beliefs that can be targeted and up-levelled so that you are not having this experience and so that your shifting becomes much smoother and easier.

      Which of course is the goal!

      You are so welcome Stalla, and I look forward to seeing you in the NARP Forum.

      Mel xo

  7. This was immensely powerful – a huge thank you for such a deeply profound conversation that reminds us that our inner healing is always top priority.

  8. life cooperates with youโ€ฆ

    I donโ€™t agree that โ€˜ Life โ€˜, the cosmos, has agency.
    Rather, the surrender and thriving within the power of Life, the cosmos,
    is a tuning of your โ€˜ soul vibration โ€˜ to a new ( to your ego ) point of serenity and vitality
    within the theatre of all things.
    The benefits ( after inner healing ) to all, is being able to go into the โ€˜ zone โ€˜
    where all your facets work harmoniously
    to give you raised and consistent loving form as a being
    So, for example, if you have become a more tuned, reliable car
    it doesnโ€™t mean you can cheat the normal and chaotic traffic
    ( some agent clearing the path )
    but rather, you are more flexible in accommodating the flow
    and are of good ( best you can ) character when things set you back.

    meant, is a double edge sword,
    not something I would attribute to loving existence
    which, I believe sits passive,
    like the contemplative image of the Buddha.
    power of inner core, not interference,
    because… you are it ๐Ÿ™‚
    ( IMO )

    I do believe that the work here ( lovely Mel ๐Ÿ™‚
    is the closest we come to healing communication with the โ€˜ otherness โ€˜
    and is a valuable resource for enlightening the seeking
    ( sometimes broken ) heart

    thanks Mel
    Love
    Tim

    mind / body problemโ€ฆ ( somatic psychology )
    very poignant Ted talk…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luJqHjqOBsM

    1. I too feel that healing is resonating with a memory of wellness that exists in everything around us. I am an atheist, but find much common sense in the meaning of Dao. This is the law of nature and balance. Healing is rebalancing our energy and putting us back in a positive connection with life force, the singing resonance in every atomic particle whose drive is to create: an atom, then an element, then a molecule, then a structure and so on and so on until it finds its place in the order of things

      1. great, I love the Dao ๐Ÿ™‚ you know the way ๐Ÿ™‚ I except the path and tread on all sorts of things ๐Ÿ™‚ oops, sorry ๐Ÿ™‚ knowing is doing …/\…

      2. Hi Jean,

        it is lovely that you feel that cellular truth within you … because we truly can access it when we have rid ourselves of enough trauma that was distorting that connection / knowing / experience.

        Bless!

        Mel xo

  9. Hello.
    Well! What a lovely conversation. I’ve seen a lot of this stuff, read and experienced it, and you are so right about this. Thank you, have found several answers here.

    I used to be so aware, with Eckhart Tolle, prayer. I remember when difficult emotions were coming, I would breathe, sit with it and watch it move through me, and accept with compassion… and I’d see it move on.

    I have had my mother hacking and screeching to shove her way into my life, including bullying me to Pakistan from Europe and shoving me into a marriage with a rich narc old man in Dubai, which I left. Not about blaming. Everytime, I had a clearing session, detox bath, cut chords, she’d call, send gifts, endless gifts to create a connection… giving so as to take energy down the line.

    I am trying to get back into healing. I found myself in the space of ‘I have to heal NOW. Enough. Just focus on working and building a life for my kids, forget all of this meditation and journalling and what not.’ Not consciously, but I fell out of it gradually and found myself unconscious again. Each time, my obstacle would be my mother, screeching for attention. I’d rush out of the house in my night clothes rather than spend another moment listening to hour long hateful monologues, and married an old man in Dubai I’d never met, just to get away from her.

    I take responsibility, and this video came with a lot of answers just when I was in the ‘it’s too late, why bother’ space again. But I lovingly accept all that has happened and I accept that I have made progress, professionally, personally, in this time, and that it has to be so, is not overnight, and I accept that without self-condemnation over my mistakes. I always felt ‘religion is enough’. The thing is, the inner aspects of religion require pondering, tadabbur, going within.. and that is what I postponed, and that is the essence of religion.

    My recent prayers were answered with ‘pray at night’ which was a solace for me, the silent meditation and prayer in solitude… returning to God’s love.

    Thank you.

    1. Hi Z

      I am so pleased you enjoyed Jeanine’s and my conversation.

      And I wish you continued healing and breakthrough – and for the struggle with the pain generated from the relationship with your Mother to be over.

      Mel xo

  10. This hit a very powerful spot for me – femininity. I grew up hating and looking down on my female role model, my mother. She was cold and controlling and verging on sadistic. My father was the kind, caring one but he was totally in my mother’s jealous thrall. This is why I am suggesting a topic for shifts that I have not yet come across in your programme, real self-hatred. I hated myself for 2 things, being female and even more for not being able to rescue my father from my mother. This talk helped me to access that and believe me it was big!! I still have stuff to get rid of and it is a lonely and scary place to go, but my limiting belief tells me that I must suffer in silence because I am already dead. My mother killed me and took over my body when I was a child. There is a flip side to this of course, the growing empowerment of my real self through healing. I know I can mend this and I am mending this but I wondered if any of this resonated with others in the forum?

    1. I am so sorry. I know what it’s like to hate yourself.
      And I second you idea about a blog post on self-hatred!

    2. Hi Jean,

      the Mother wound is a very deep trauma for many …

      Please know self-hatred (and anything at all) can be totally addressed with NARP.

      The true healing power of NARP is always about reaching deep inside and addressing any of our traumas and limiting / painful beliefs that are blocking us being our True Selves.

      Self-hatred is a HIGE part of what I and so many other NARPers have worked on – and work on consistently in order to liberate ourselves.

      Are you in NARP and in the NARP Forum to receive guidance with this?

      https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps you realise your healing from this is so close if you take the steps I have shared here with you.

      Mel xo

      1. Thank you everyone and especially Melanie who offers her loving connection to help us all. I am not in NARP but use the online resources lots. I have been healing for over 35 years. It was slow at first but it was whilst in my marriage to a narcissist that my real journey started. I think that in my case it had to be slow, but it has picked up speed since finding you Melanie. I have been finding help in all sorts of places over the years but yours has been the most dynamic. Recently when talking to my daughter on Skype I noticed that her face was even more beautiful to me than it has always been. That is love coming up from inside. I feel that so much. I also know that I am thriving and growing because yesterday morning I opened the wardrobe and realised that nothing in there was pretty enough for me to wear!! I am so alive and the feeling just gets stronger

        1. Hi Jean,

          thank you for sending you gratitude … there is so much of it in this Community … we are all so blessed! ๐Ÿ™‚

          I love that you have love organically arising from within …

          As it does when we make the space inside of us, by letting go of all the emotions and traumas that are not serving us.

          Well done Dear One!

          Mel xo

    3. Absolutely. I can relate. In my case; both parents are disordered. I can totally relate to the ‘feeling dead inside’. My heart breaks whenever I see someone saying they hate themselves.

      There are so many people suffering in silence, who feel different, who feel misunderstood, who feel incredibly confused & exhausted. Who feel dead inside as well.

      More than a year ago, I was in a similar position. I know what it’s like to feel broken (and everything else that comes with that). I didn’t have NARP then and was able to work on myself nonetheless, but NARP makes it possible to easily establish a routine and shift trauma & pain in a clear structured manner.

      Truly, best investment ever.

      I wish you the best of luck with the healings. May the NARP force be with you. It’s amazing, truly :).

      PS Be sure to try one of Melanie’s webinars :). They’re the bomb! Such healing power, because there’s SO many people tuning into those and the healing capacity is enormous.

      Just because energy can’t be seen with the naked eye, doesn’t mean it’s not there!

      โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ

    4. Dear Jean- Trully I ‘get you’- have you got the “Transforming Family of Origin Wounds'” NARP Course? It is wonderful for the Divine Female Energy- after NARP course. Im still struggling but in a safe place only now to really focus on Unconditional Love & then the Empowered Self Course. Unconditional love was not known in my own Family either and all love had to be earned. Im totally rewriting that old script from Ancient times. It is trully Not the truth but I need to get my wounds out first to feel it. Im not tet fully formed here but daily work- Im loving me more- warts and all. Sending love xx

  11. Good morning, I first want to say that coming across your website was an answer to prayer. It really is a sign that God/Universe is working to heal us when we are ready. I’ll get right to my question. I am 46 and am a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence. It stems from family of origin for sure and I’ve played out the same cycle of abuse over and over for years not knowing it. The article you wrote on Identifying my Identity created a huge shift in my thinking about what is actually possible for me and why many of the painstaking efforts I have made over and over again have always ended in me feeling like I am not smart, not capable and that there is something wrong with me that makes me not eligible for the secure peaceful and successful life I truly want to have. Now I feel that there is hope! Currently, I am going through a similar break down, break through experience where I am heavier than I have ever been, I am struggling financially to support my two amazing kiddos (who I also see manifesting the negative internal messaging that I desperately want to stop), and I have hit rock bottom because I feel like I can’t even think straight. I feel trapped in the past and my motivation (which is extremely high) which used to get me through is now exhausted. I am done doing things the way that I have been doing them. It is finals week and I cannot study. I’m telling you that I cannot explain what is happening to me other than I have some type of unresolved issues around success, moving forward and creating financial security for myself and for my kids. I’m not being lazy. I’m telling you the truth. I cannot engage school/work right now or lose weigh or extercise because whatever is underlying my ability to think and function has been shut down. I was always able to get by before, but I cannot seem to will myself after years of getting up when I didn’t want to, showing up for my kids and school/work when I couldn’t or didn’t feel like it and I just can’t do this anymore. I desperately want to succeed and move forward but I feel blocked!!! How do I get to the underlying beliefs around my ability to use my brain and succeed? My career path has been nothing more than multiple failed attempts to get by. And now that my ex has disappeared and I am raising my kids by myself I want to make a wonderful life for my family, but my stuff is getting in the way. HELP!! ๐Ÿ™‚ The problem is I don’t have money to purchase your program. I ‘m not looking for a hand out, but I read all of the articles online and feel that I have exhausted all of the free resources on this topic. I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m scared. I really want to heal. Do you have any ideas for how to shift this programming?

  12. Jeanine your information is so well put together and you have articulated the work of Melanie in such a way that I already feel empowered and so excited to hear more from you. You are such an inspiration and role model. Everything you have touched on sums up the core of my confused existence and sheds light on my darkness. I can already hear the silencing of my lambs. I can’t wait for your new projects to be released. I love the work Melanie does and I know with every ounce of my being that this is the truth I have been desparetly seeking.. Thank you both.

  13. Thank you- Exactly where Im at. I’ve had Massive evidence of awesome breakthrough’s on the physical plane-new awesome flat, total escape from all N’s…at last but I feel very very isolated and lonely
    Love(Authentic connection and joy of real Unconditional love is next for me). I was unable to connect to this whilst still in the trauma but I am free now. I have No connection to that joy YET or new life. I had to see NARP work on the physical plane 1st to escape & it Did after 11 month’s solid work. I have not trusted Source to have my back and it does get stronger…the Trust With The Emotions now.
    Bless you both. J xxxโ™กโ™กโ™ก

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