Melanie Tonia Evans

Shifts Happen – When We Can’t Say “No”

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 6
50
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

This Shifts Happen episode with Elizavetta is on a very important topic …

The trauma that happens in our Life when we can’t say “No”.

As a NARP Member, Elizavetta was stuck on trying to shift out the deep inner reasons why this was playing out in her Life.

And, in this session I share an advanced technique that will help people working with Quanta Freedom Healing dislodge and shift big stuck survival programs that we can’t seem to let go of.

It was such a joy to see Elizavetta break through!

If you know you struggle with saying “No” … watching and participating with this episode may be just what you need.

 

 

I hope that you got a lot out of this episode!

Because not being able to say “No” is such a Universal issue!

Please post your questions and comments below and Elizavetta and myself will be very happy to answer them.

And I would love you to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing session with me soon as well, because it makes such a profound difference in the way that we can heal – cutting out literal decades of cognitive therapy that often doesn’t get to the root of the issue.

The easiest way to experience a healing with me is to come into my next Free Webinar where you will be a part of a Group experiencing a Live Session with me … at no cost.

Reserve your space for my upcoming Free Webinar here.

Many, many people world-wide have already received profound breakthroughs by doing so.

And this is the last for the year – so please come join me!

 

The following two tabs change content below.
Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

Your Free New Life Starter Pack

2 free eBooks free intro Video 2 hour free Webinar
  • Find out if someone in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • Learn how to do “No Contact” and keep it for good.
  • Discover how to get relief from the pain.
  • Learn how to reclaim your life with my 10-step process.

Sign up below to join my Community of over 50,000 people, and receive weekly information, inspiration and tools to get your life back on track.

ssl security padlock   We value your privacy. Your information will never be shared.
50 Thoughts on Shifts Happen – When We Can’t Say “No”
  • Radishbastard@hotmail.com'
    Morgan
    November 26, 2016

    I’m sure that you hear everything under the sun about this topic. I want to be free and I am making my way though this. I don’t know if I have anything genuinely different to say, I do feel though that this has put me on the right path. And I have been able to look at myself closer and realize some truths that I was ignoring.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Morgan,

      It is so true that I could hear “everything”, but now (and for a long time) I know that we can talk and listen and talk and listen … but truly why do we need to do it the long way around when we can just go directly inside and shift?

      That is what I really try to help people understand now!

      I am so pleased this resonated with you.

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 29, 2016

      Hello Morgan
      Sometimes we look at everything so closely and think we have covered it all but it’s usually the one thing right in front of us we miss, sometimes because we just do not see it or we do not want to go there so well done and thank you for writing it’s always good to hear from everyone ?❤️ Elizavetta

  • mariyaa@hotmail.com'
    Aminath
    November 26, 2016

    Elizavetta, Thank you for approaching Melanie because this will help so many people. I joined in and released many of mine too. Happy NARPing. Thank you Melanie too.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Aminath,

      I agree, that this was a perfect topic … courtesy of Elizavetta!

      That is wonderful you had such a lovely shift too!

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 29, 2016

      Aminnath thank you for your comments and I am so glad that it helped you too , we can always release something no matter how small love and light ❤️?

  • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
    Lorraine
    November 26, 2016

    Thank you Elizavetta and Melanie.(love your glasses!)
    This was really great.
    Thanks to doing this with you
    I discovered that my soul energy was terrified to incarnate when I was in the womb.
    And it never fully did.
    So it never truly expressed itself through me and I projected the missing bits onto authority figures .
    My soul felt muzzled and I had jaw tension and teeth grinding .
    When I did try to express myself as I child I was told to be quiet.
    I enjoyed writing and really got into a flow…but after writing a story about a moom man visiting me when I was 6 the teacher took me to the headmaster where I was told off and told never to write anything like that again.
    So…..lots of chifting and welcoming my soul in and integrating us into the glow.
    Wonderful stuff and very grateful to you both

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Lorraine,

      That is very powerful that you connected and released deep trauma.

      Blessings to you and I wish you much continued growth and freedom.

      Mel xo

    • Morgancnichols@gmail.com'
      Caron
      November 29, 2016

      I just wanted to respond to this, Lorraine, and say I realised a very similar thing about not fully wanting to come into this world. Very powerful! Your insight about the projection onto authority figures also resonated strongly with me – giving power over. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • roma4amor@gmail.com'
      Deanna
      November 29, 2016

      Hi Lorraine!
      I too so related to having particular trouble speaking up to authority figures. I was always small and they were big and I perpetuated that concept unconsciously in my adult life. I worked on healing this during this episode so we’ll see how things shake out from here.
      I can feel your pain about the writing. You sound like a creative imaginative person and it is sad when that gets squashed in a child. The same kind of thing happened to me only with music. Have you thought about picking writing back up? Taking a class and/or joining a meet up group? There is also a book called THE ARTISTS WAY by Julia Cameron that deals with creative recovery. That book and its concepts help me tremendously. As an adult I have been studying and pursuing all the musical things I was told I couldn’t/shouldn’t do as a child. It is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.
      All the best to you!
      Deanna

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 29, 2016

      Lorraine oh my goodness I am so happy that this has helped you and I have watched the session a couple of times now and each time I have realised things and released. So sad for you as a child but now you can release all of that and start writing again you are wonderful that is the important thing believe it love and light ❤️?

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Lorraine I am so glad that this has helped you as well, the womb is perhaps the last place we think to look as it’s inherint the one safe place we are safe. Our conscious is so awake though and working still on our spiritual level and for many the first place to look not the last . It sounds a wonderful soul reunion you had and I hope that you are still writing and why not send your book that you wrote as a child to a publisher I do not think they may just ask do you have any more ? ❤️ Thank you for sharing your experiences from my shift with Melanie and my glasses ??❤️?

      • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
        selkie
        December 4, 2016

        Thank you Elizavetta Deanna Caron for your encouragement and responses.
        I will have a look for that book .

        Sadly that particular story doesnt exist any more , it was in my school exercise book when I was six many decades ago!
        …and I do now have a writing block (of course)

        I had grown misshapen and bent on an energetic level after being in a narc relationship for many years.
        I felt like a stunted tree growing in poor soil and battered by a north wind
        I know I was withering and slowly dying psychically
        This was beginning to manifest physically too but doing the modules has really helped with this and I feel the missing bit of soul has now a healthy energetic space to inhabit.
        And taking up yoga has helped me physically straighten up too.
        Lorraine

  • wopla@gmx.com'
    Miba
    November 26, 2016

    Thank you both. Melanie glowing again :). And Elizavetta you look so cute! Love the glasses. They suit you very much. I’m proud of you :). This is brave! *hug*

    I had some tiny shifts. Needed to tweak. Biggie for me is: If you speak up, you will die (must’ve been quite the whistleblower back then).

    Being stabbed and choking involved. Some residual energy left from a past shift (same vision came up again). Energy was lodged in hands and lower arms (yet again).

    Need to shift my focus on Mod 8 for now.

    Btw, I got a hit from the word ‘butchered’. Medieval times. Cloaked individual, stabbed me out of the blue. Ouch.

    I shook for a bit but was fine. It’s all energy anyway.

    Thank you for sharing both!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Miba,

      thank you again darling lady for your gorgeous support to us all!

      Great you keep moving it up and out and up levelling ….

      You are doing a wonderful job Miba, and as always you are so welcome it was my deepest pleasure 🙂

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Miba thank you for those kind words tiny shifts are as important as the big ones and sometimes have the biggest impact. I am sure you will with each shift get closer to the one shift that will release all of those sad and painful emotions . Standing up for truth perhaps had been your path when no one else would . Keep up on mod 8 and let us know how it is going. Love and light ?

  • deebushell@outlook.com'
    Dee
    November 26, 2016

    Wow. That was so powerful I felt the shift within me. I love these session so thank you Mel. You can see the change in Elizavettas face so thank you for your courage and honesty. God bless you both. Xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Dee,

      I am so thrilled you love these sessions …

      God bless you too darling lady.

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Dee, thank you for watching and joining in yes I noticed the change in me when I watched the episode even though it was very strange seeing me as a third person so to speak love and light ?

  • waverida@hotmail.com'
    Lara
    November 26, 2016

    Thank you Elizavetta and Melanie.
    I joined in and benefited so much. I was working through module 9 today and this episode helped greatly as well. A day of clearing and releasing ancient survival programs. Best wishes Elizavetta and see you on the forum.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Lara,

      My pleasure!

      I am so pleased this helped with your NARPing …

      Wonderful that you are clearing deep impactful stuff.

      Our incredible freedom is on the other side of that.

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Lara thank you for watching and joining in and glad you experienced benefit from it as well.
      A little daily soul dusting and hoovering can do wonders ? And yes see you on the forum ?

  • moocher14@comcast.net'
    jodi perito-steward
    November 27, 2016

    How can I get this type of healing personally?

  • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
    Mette Mulbjerg
    November 27, 2016

    Dear Elizavetta

    I just wanted to share my deepest respect and support for you by doing this healing and also let you know that I relate deeply to this. Saying “No” is a big and deep rootet core issue for me as well. It “landed” in perfect timing and I did the shifts along with you and I felt some relief, but I will have to keep doing work on this.

    I am very happy for you that you felt this huge shift/drop and I could see it on your whole radiance like the light in you was litterally visable at the end of the healing <3 Thank you!

    Much Love from Mette <3

    • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
      Mette Mulbjerg
      November 27, 2016

      P.S. AND thank you too, Melanie – you know my deepest graditude, respect and admiration for the work that you share and do! <3

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        November 27, 2016

        Hi Mette,

        You are so welcome, and thank you for your gorgeous support dear one.

        Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Mette thank you for watching and joining in the shift, it was at a good point in time for me as well , I watched Sandra’s shift with Melanie before I did one of Melanie’s webinar and I watched and joined in several times and I benefited from each time so maybe do it a couple of times and see if it helps some more thank you for your kind words love and light ?

  • upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
    Devon
    November 27, 2016

    Absolutely brilliant thank you Melanie and Ellizavetta, so much gratitude and appreciation. I could totally feel that in every cell of my body and yes to healing the collective! Very powerful. I’m off to continue this one with a goal set. Much love xox

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Devon,

      I am so pleased you enjoyed this session.

      I love that you felt this so powerfully.

      Isn’t it awesome how we can help heal the collective?

      So special …

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Devon thank you for watching and joining in please let us know when you achieve your goal love and light ?

  • stibolt@comcast.net'
    Hannah
    November 27, 2016

    Wow! This was transformational for me. I resonated with everything in this interaction and healing session. I felt the same things as Elizavetta (before she named where and what was coming up for and within her, my shoulders were full of tightness as I was feeling strong muscle pulling through my arms and especially my left hand. I felt and know exactly why I opened and was compelled to watch this email and video. I haven’t ever felt such real energy coming from an interview like this one…not even the live ones where supposedly there is energy shifting and emitting happening. This powerful healing/clearing I Felt! In my throat neck solar plexus very much in my heart at times, even tears running down my face through different parts. This came in at divine timing. I had seen the truth/had a huge Aha just this week of my inability to say no (through my whole life) and looking back specifically at the past 22 yrs and seeing clearly that pattern and what the cost has been to my life, the heavy consequences and wondered how I would ever find a way and find the “strength” to speak my truth including saying no from here on out. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for both of you sharing this. I’m so interested in this work you do Melanie. I’m going to watch for training next year (I think that’s what you said)! Elizavetta, you are brave, with a beautiful heart. I’m proud of you and see a very pure angelic light in you! And Melanie! What a healer you are…I am fascinated about this quantum energy work. I am a Reiki practitioner but feel that this is even perhaps more powerful. Take care both of you. In Gratitude, Hannah

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Hannah,

      I am so happy for you that you experienced a big shift and had such a connection to this session.

      Yes, training is next year Hannah, and we will be announcing it – totally.

      Thank you for your lovely comments, and yes QFH is (in my humble opinion) the most powerful energetic healing modality I have ever used.

      Lots of love to you too Hannah.

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Hannah thank you for watching and joining in and I am so glad that you had such a positive and light experience allowing you to release and see, understand and plan for your life including saying NO. It humbles me to know that my quirky world has helped keep going Hannah love and light ?

  • meganzopf@yahoo.com'
    Megan Zopf
    November 27, 2016

    Thank you so much Elizavetta and Melanie!! I never thought this could also help me but it did. I don’t quite understand all of it and how it works, but I felt connected while watching this! Melanie you really are a gift to me. I recently had a few sessions with Eric Casaccio. Part of his suggestions for me was to get back involved with you and so I did. I really feel blessed to have such good positive sources surrounding me and with me. I think I am finally getting it and it really is a wonderful experience!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 27, 2016

      Hi Megan,

      I am so pleased this session did!

      It is so true that “how this works” in no way needs to be understood conceptually in order for it to work!

      It’s all going on at a level that our logical mind truly can’t work out … it is on a totally different level of consciousness.

      That is so wonderful you are connected to my darling friend Eric!

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Megan thank you for joining in and I am humbled that it has helped you and very happy that it has. Happy that you have re connected with Melanie you will find your path through her. Love and light ?

  • lenire3@gmail.com'
    iona
    November 27, 2016

    thank you elizivetta for describing your block so well. I feel the same with some stuff I am working on and I have gotten very discouraged. I dont feel so alone. I could also really feel some relief with the shift when you had some but My charge came back a lot . Its about not being able to speak up or I will be anhiliated. I put my hands up for a shift happens and i really cant wait to do it. Much love for shariang.

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Iona, thank you for watching and joining in I am glad it resonated and helped, I have found that watching a session you most connect with a few times can help shift layers or give you the strength to shift layers. The hardest thing is to say what you want to say in your head but your body won’t let you or so you feel yes I mean feal. Start with small things and with people you trust and do the modules and watch Melanie’s shifts videos. We are all with you and. Ever feel alone if you do pick up your little you and give her a real hug as I do and know we in the forum are hugging you as well. Love and light ?

  • roma4amor@gmail.com'
    Deanna
    November 29, 2016

    Thank you so much Elizavetta and Melanie!
    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Shifts Happen series. Even though I am a NARP member and have the modules, I find that these Shifts Happen videos help me go further and deeper than on my own because they teach me and reassure me if I am doing the module/s correctly.
    This particular episode was HUGE HUGE HUGE for me. It was AMAZING what stuff was coming up and being shifted. I NEVER would have gotten to this using just cognitive tools. I thought energetically rather than literally and it opened and shifted so many things. I appreciated, Mel, that you said we didn’t have to know all the details of what something is about. I previously thought I had to know the details in order to shift them.
    I also love that you equate this process to removing layers at a time. During the last shift on the episode, I felt like there was a palpable POP! as the junk was leaving my body.
    Another thing that I loved is that you mention pursuing diplomatic techniques to learn how to say no “well”. There are times when I do shifts and I know that I have upleveled but then I ask, “Now what?”. Sometimes it is a matter of just trusting that my revised energy sphere will attract the “what now” but also sometimes obtaining information about techniques, resources, rights and options etc. is very helpful.

    As always, thanks a million!
    And all the best to you Elizavetta on your journey!
    xoxoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 29, 2016

      Hi Deanna,

      you are so welcome 🙂

      I am so happy you are loving these episodes, I do think they are such a wonderful resource to NARP Members to really help break through blocks and traumas!

      Oh gosh – yes – you DON’T need to know “what it is” in order to shift dense trauma our of your body … the most important part is to “be with it” in the healing space and let QFH do the work! (So much easier when our cognitive mind is out of the way!)

      Glad you understand that boundary training (incorporated with inner shift work – which if course is the most vital way to be empowered) is a wonderful combination!

      Bless you, and wonderful Deanna that you are on the right track!

      Mel xo

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Deanna thank you for watching and joining in, I agree the video series are such a help listening to and watching Melanie is sometimes more powerful than doing the modules . Enjoy your future modules love and light ?

  • ivatijan@gmail.com'
    Bondon
    November 29, 2016

    Dear Elizavetta,

    Thank you so much for participating in the ‘Shifts Happen’ series. Your shift-topic was life-changing for me. I am writing just now, because it’s as if shifting with you and Melanie, a dam broke inside me, and I FINALLY could FEEL all those feelings of living a life (numerous lifetimes!) of smallness and insignificance as a false shield against perceived danger thus maintaining ‘safety’.
    As Mel said: “Only safe if you’re insignificant.”
    And you continued: “Keep small so you don’t get shouted at.” And I thought to myself – indeed, whenever I even attempted a smidgeon of a “no”, I’d get steamrolled. There was so much charged emotion let loose following shifting with you, that I took it all for healing in the Goal Setting Module, and have been Moduling all weekend. I’ve finally been able to let out a sigh of relief this morning.

    Also, when Melanie mentions we have a RIGHT to humbly and magnificently be our authentic self – yes we do. It is our inherent right.

    I also found myself nodding vigorously in concurrence when you say we have been fighting a lifetime for significance and space because we never had a right to it (from ancient). No matter what we said or did, we were faced with rejection – both in our family of origin then later in life repeatedly choosing people who played that out with us. Never knowing how to stop this vicious cycle prior to getting on board with Quanta Freedom Healing.

    Your story about being in the womb and your mother having anxiety about not “being allowed” to bear another child (you), also struck a cord within me. As it enticed me to remember my maternal grandmother’s story, how she was deemed “a curse” the moment she came out of the womb. My great-grandmother had borne 5 robust healthy boys up until that point, and the family held an almost regal status in the village for their wealth, health, and only male children. My grandmother was supposed to have been the 6th boy, her father proclaimed Head of the village council. And then she – my grandmother came out, bringing with her a subsequent slew of perceived misfortunes to the family. The whole village deemed her ‘a female demon.’ This has also been part of my legacy to heal, I have felt that primal scapegoat energetic rejection in my body since “forever.”

    Thank you so much Elizavetta, you have such a calm serene presence. There is no rejection, there is only love – unconditional love and acceptance. I am sending you love and blessings. Also – thank you once again for always supporting me on the Forum, your advice is always spot-on.

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Bondon thank you for watching and joining in and I am humbled if it helped you as well , my heart goes out to your grandmother and the expectation she would have felt while knowing the disappointment they would feel when she was born, so much is set in those 9 months our spiritual self is so present then. Your grandmother is a goddess not a demon. Working with Melanie and the modules to take off those heavy overcoats of false illusions that way your soul down and blinker the path strip away the layers and enable not only you to fly but your grandmother too thank you for your kind words and I am happy that my replies in the forum to your posts have helped I am always here if you need me . Love and light be brace your stronger than you know ?

  • pietere7@gmail.com'
    Pieter
    November 29, 2016

    Melanie, it was great. Myself struggle to say no or to said you do that now (not controlling way – authentic way). That had let me feel rejected. That come from childhood – controlling and manipulating mostly my one sister (Narcissist). Now I feel good about myself and made a decision do stand up authentically against others.

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      November 30, 2016

      Pieter thank you for watching and joining in that is wonderful if it has helped you stand tall and remember who you are go say no and win live and light ?

  • fernandes.jasmin@rocketmail.com'
    Jasmin
    November 30, 2016

    Thank you Melanie and Elizavetta
    This has been really incredible healing for me….spot on!
    The connection is magic! Amazing
    Love
    Jasmin

    • Clr522@aol.com'
      Elizavetta
      December 5, 2016

      Dear Jasmin thank you for watching and joining in I am so glad that found some healing as well keep well and strong
      Love and light Jasmin ?

  • Ymandanici@gmail.com'
    Yvonne M
    February 13, 2017

    It is so interesting that I felt this nausea and heaviness in my stomach at first , but then it shifted to my shoulders and kidneys. After, a few of the visualizations, I realized part of being small and quiet is the jaw tightness and neck tightness that I’ve always had. During the healing, just being able to claim my right to space , my right to have a voice, brought me to tears.
    I grew up being told to be quiet, and any time I was the center of attention or was asked for my opinion, it was a precursor to abuse.
    I am 100% committed to buying this program now and healing myself .
    I’ve had so much stress that I feel constant nausea and during this healing I almost wanted to throw up at the beginning. But I worked through it ! And that knot is gone …
    Thank god for the healing and the healers . ?

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    February 22, 2017

    It’s so beautiful seeing all these women healing. Thank you, Melanie.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *