Melanie Tonia Evans

The Difference Between Judgement and Discernment

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 4
53
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

As we grow and become more involved in our own personal-development, we may battle with understanding how to deal with those things we feel passionately opposed to.

The following are common confusions …

When is negative emotions ours to deal with and not ours to deal with?

When it is okay to know our own minds and rights and be in opposition to something?

How can we be effective in our missions and causes to make our own life and the world a better place?

 

I hope this episode really helped you get some clarification on this topic.

And … I look forward to engaging with you, on this fascinating topic, by answering your comments and questions below!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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53 Thoughts on The Difference Between Judgement and Discernment
  • susangold017@gmail.com'
    Susan Gold
    November 15, 2016

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Without finding your prolific and profound work, recovering from narcissistic abuse through your NARP program and now continuing on the journey as a thriving, whole, being free from the bondage of narcissistic abuse and realizing this abuse as ultimately a gift, I could never understand what you so graciously shared in your video. It would have been as if you were speaking a foreign language. Further, I could not experience the personal evolvement to be in a place of acceptance with an ability to focus on the positive aspects of the U.S. election. As Lady Gaga shared on a sign she held in protest, ‘Love Trumps Hate’ and you have validated that belief.

    • rodriguezmichelle.1029@gmail.com'
      Michelle
      November 15, 2016

      Susan,
      I couldn’t ageee more!!!
      Thank you Mel for this timely post. So preciously valuable.
      Don’t know either where I’d be without your amazing guidance.

      Xo
      Michelle

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Susan,

      you are so welcome 🙂

      I am so thrilled we are on this Thriving Path together!

      I adore Lady Gaga’s placard – it says it all.

      Bless you dear lady.

      Mel xo

      • svnaimool@hotmail.com'
        Sherice
        January 20, 2017

        Melanie,

        I truly believe in your model of Thriving. However, I’m having difficulty. You said in one of your videos that you are not against taking action but it is what vibrational stance you are coming from. This is where I think the judgement vs discernment comes in.
        I am in the middle of court proceedings and I want to take action and I honestly admit that it is coming from a place of he needs to be accountable. I am trying to up level myself but I still believe that some form of action should be taken, sinve he like countless others are manipulating the system to continue abuse and I believe that it should be addressed.
        Any advice?

  • maganaamber25@yahoo.com'
    Amber
    November 15, 2016

    Melanie! I love you!I shed a couple of tears with your new episode. I live in the United States a couple of miles from the Mexican border and the energy is very dense but, thankfully I have not felt a major trigger with the election. Co-workers who are men have been losing sleep due to the election and one can offer compassion and understanding to them. I trust God has and always will have our best interest at heart. I love leaving everything in his hands now. I am just seeing some outer changes/ victories in my life one being my husband is now supporting me emotionally in regards to the N he is now speaking up for me. When in the past he would just shrug me off. The funny thing now is that I do not want him to speak up for me I want God to take care of everything. I do not want to see my husband angry towards the N it is not worth his pain and energy. It saddens me seeing him angry for the N’s actions now. I would of been jumping of joy if this would of happened months ago. I will not lie I do feel victorious but, in a different way I now feel empowered. I am learning to let go of outcomes and I have had a couple of wins! Melanie, I will hopefully meet you one day and thank you in person. NARP and my faith has truly been a life safer for me. May god bless you with infinite blessings.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Amber,

      much love to you too!

      How lovely you have had the shift into alignment with Source, and you are now seeing the accompanying results in your Life.

      That is a classic example of “be” it and it will “come”.

      I am so pleased NARP has been helping you so much.

      I would love to meet you one day too Amber, and thank you for your glorious blessing – a blessing granted truly is a blessing shared!

      Because there is only “one” of us here …

      Mel xo

  • winnie.ramsey@live.dk'
    Winnie Ramsey
    November 15, 2016

    Thank you so much – right timing for me on so many levels Melanie – also your introduction on how we should not think we are judging our own bad/shadowing selves – which has often left me so confused and despairing.

    Lot of thanks and love

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Winnie,

      you are so welcome, and I am pleased that explanation helped.

      Lots of love to you too dear lady.

      Mel xo

  • leet007@bigpond.com'
    Lee
    November 15, 2016

    Looking forward to listening to this one. I feel it will really resonate with me atm

  • brianmjm84@hotmail.com'
    Brian
    November 15, 2016

    I am not sure whether my ex is a Narcissist or not. I spoke to her just recently for the first time in nearly three years. I was pretty ambivalent to many of her statements and former triggers. She was crying a lot of the time which did induce tears from me. I don’t know whether it was the pain of seeing a former source that is no longer or she was genuinely affected. Very hard to judge. How do you really determine her true personality I have struggled over this for sometime. She had many of the traits including violent outbursts and verbal abusiveness. She is always right and will never admit to doing anything wrong even if it is fact. Her only god is money. She come from a peasant Vietnamese background and her whole family are of a similar personality.

  • wopla@gmx.com'
    Miba
    November 15, 2016

    You had me at the 6 minute mark. Nodding wholeheartedly. I could not have explained this any better than this. This is a very sophisticated response and explanation regarding this topic.

    And I can imagine this sounding like a different language to whomever hasn’t experienced the opportunity to tap deeply into their personal power/True Self thru healing work as of yet (which I am hoping people will feel inspired to give a try, especially after seeing this video).

    If I wasn’t doing the healing work, I sure as heck wouldn’t have understood.

    Brilliant: “Who am I in relation to this?”. That is how I observe anything that happens around me. I can immediately tell the difference between feeling judgemental & me expressing a healthy sense of discernment. The former is driven by pain & fear and the latter is driven by what I genuinely and energetically/vibrationally feel myself not being a match for.

    The former also has me feeling riled up, whereas the latter simply has me feeling repelled in a neutral manner.

    When I feel judgemental about something, I know that is something I need to examine more closely and feel into. And it works like a charm, every single time. There is always some kind of negative emotion and/or belief driving the behaviour. And once I release the negative energy. I can look at something neutrally and determine whether it’s a match for me or not (based on my values, and who I am).

    If whatever (challenging) subject, opinion or phenomenom I am faced with feels like it isn’t a match for me, I simply let it be (and if I find it hard to do this, I know I need to dig inside and excavate whatever is having me feel obsessed, hooked, spiteful, slighted, offended, etc., … ).

    The high level of judgementalism in political & religious debates is exactly why I stay away from both topics and do not get involved. I am simply not interested in partaking. I am not interested in picking sides. It does not feel good, positive, healthy or meaningful to me. If anything, it feels uncomfortable, disparaging

    I am simply interested in living my Truth.

    Judgement activates very unpleasant feelings (in whomever is being/feeling judgemental) and whoever is on the receiving end of it.

    This isn’t to say that anyone does or feels this way consciously. There are an awful lot of factors that come into play in regard to how we behave and perceive things, opinions, situations and people.

    Melanie, you are incredibly intelligent. Finally showing more of that ey :)!

    The only way for us to truly understand & grasp this, is by doing the healing work, so that we can make space for that wiser part of us to emerge.

    Pain & fear cloud our natural sense of discernment.

    In the end it comes down to choice. Are people content being the way they are now or do they feel inclined to strive for growth and expansion?

    And this isn’t to say I never slip up. I do. I am only human. But I choose to be that kind of human that thinks before she speaks and keep her judgements to herself. I make it a habit to deal with any emotion first, and then proceed accordingly based on who I am.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Miba,

      thank you for your comment … and I love your comments regarding judgement and discernment – they are spot on!

      It is very true – these are concepts that are not learned, they are ones can only be deeply experienced, known and embodied when we have enough of our parts out of the way to allow this truth to simply “be” truth through us.

      I agree regarding the choice.

      Our ego loves pain, and it can be very alluring to stay in “outer in” focus …

      That is until we have had enough of the results.

      A much broader, bigger, better life awaits.

      Mel xo

  • kim.shallis@gmail.com'
    TimC
    November 15, 2016

    Go Mel 🙂 great presentation 🙂

    While all through known history sages have given us the truth of our integration with everything, the human classroom of life is filled with a range of human capabilities.
    ( the long body of Buddha, the short body of Buddha )
    Discretion in social moral events ( perhaps, rather than discernment ) is an acquired skill.
    So, I would argue, that, left to ourselves as individual tribal groups, we are individually overwhelmed by, primarily, the language and then to a lesser degree the local cultural norms, an uneasy, but intriguing and necessary state ?
    So how does the Tribal leader listen to the Sage ?
    They don’t, not really.
    Can you imagine a shipwreck of a hundred survivors on a deserted island miles from help ?
    Who and what values are in charge of survival ? going on examples we have heard of.
    This is the ancient and maybe future predicament of the natural human beings condition.
    Whereas a similar island may have a native tribe of a hundred, with one unified social construct naturally evolved has a good chance of remaining successful.
    So I assert that, this sagely counterbalance to how the great modern cultures have become in conflict to the true spirit of our social species is wise and wonderful
    but
    is always in conflict/ struggle with the greed for resources, approval, status etc.

    ok, I’m making judgements or should that be discernment’s ? 🙂

    love
    Tim

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Tim,

      I am glad you enjoyed it …

      I really believe the way through is individual consciousness … taking the lead one person at a time – because “truth” resonates and awakens others to “truth”.

      And each of us, as a holographic universe, have the power to be a “truth” unattached to anyone else getting it – and then ironically people gravitate toward that truth / light in droves as they also awaken to Who They Are in the presence of that.

      Because everyone, inside them, is coded to awaken. It is their soul’s greatest desire and the only thing that will durably gratify anyone’s True Inner Being.

      If any of us were to try to adjust, adapt or even “dumb down” in accordance to what we believe is happening with others “out there”, and not be the authenticity, glow and truth that is Source expressing itself through us – then we are not “being” what we came here to do.

      All of Source backs that unconditionally independent of what we believe is cultural norms, or another intellectual debate to not just “be” Self.

      The truth path is simple – Source has the rest worked out.

      Mel xo

      • kim.shallis@gmail.com'
        TimC
        November 16, 2016

        …/\…
        Life… has the rest worked out
        thanks angel 🙂
        love
        Tim

  • jolley.molley@googlemail.com'
    Jean Olley
    November 15, 2016

    Melanie, this is so on the money!! I wonder if you know the scientific work of Rupert Sheldrake. He has an experientially supported theory of connectedness throughout the universe. It relates to what he calls morphic resonance through a physical natural phenomenon of morphic fields. It fits like a glove with your views and beliefs. He argues that everything, from atomic particles upwards has “memory”. Everything animate or inanimate (just a human and limiting view, I know) knows what it is and how to be itself. Knowing particles make knowing atoms which make knowing objects of every kind. I hope I am explaining this clearly. On Youtube you will find a discussion between him and Bruce Lipton, but his work deserves a thorough study of his writings. I really think you will do as I did when I read his books and just spend the whole time nodding in agreement with his observations. I used to think that I was mad and out of step with reality because my inner world did not gel with what passes as “normal” around me. I wanted to believe my hunches and instincts and premonitions (and inside I did) but learned to keep quiet about them in the end because I was called crazy for having them. Through Sheldrake and with your help and guidance I have validated that inner truth, my gift from the universe and my inner godself. I believe in me. Thank you and I hope that you will benefit from this gift I offer, my loving presence in the world

    Jean

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Jean,

      I haven’t heard of his works, and I believe truth is truth – these are not theories …. they are Universal Truths and many people are aligning with them and talking about them.

      This is no coincidence.

      In fact all of us, to varying degrees of awakening, are feeling them as deep cellular knowing in our bodies – as Truth.

      Hence why when we do come across material that resonates, it simply does confirm what we have known deeply within us for eons – that which we were disconnected from.

      Thank you Jean for your post and this reference, and I will put Rupert’s works on my list of books!

      Mel xo

      • jolley.molley@googlemail.com'
        Jean Olley
        November 16, 2016

        Thanks Melanie for acknowledging this. I was on such a high after posting on the blog, sticking my head over the parapet so to speak. Sheldrake is making as much noise as he can (he is an eminent scientist and Fellow of the Royal Society). We may not need proof, but there are those who do. Many too who sadly want to deny the Truth.

        Jean x

  • ivatijan@gmail.com'
    Bondon
    November 15, 2016

    Hi Melanie! I don’t know if it’s only me – but in this video, it’s like you’re shining from the inside and I saw a specific glow about you, hence it was a joy looking at you, you look absolutely RADIANT in this video!! 🙂

    And thank you for yet another great teaching and really getting the message across in terms of distinguishing judging vs. discerning. Indeed, our bodies and inner beings FEEL judgement either way – whether we’re judging ourselves and others.

    xoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Bondon,

      Thank you gorgeous lady – my life does just get more expanded and better and better – such is the Thriver Way!!

      I am totally blessed … no matter what challenge or growth I go through – I ADORE all of it!

      It is so true Bondon … every emotion is relevant to self …

      Because there is only “one” here.

      Quantum Truth.

      Mel xo

  • hhartbruce@gmail.com'
    Helen Bruce
    November 15, 2016

    Hi Mel 🙂 This video is so timely for me. I temporarily took in a young lady to live with me as she needed a place. It turns out that I had to tell her to leave as I discerned that she was wearing a mask of friendliness all along. Whenever she was pushing boundaries, which happened 90% of the time and I had to say something to her about it she would go into some form of rage. She just couldn’t handle being told anything at all soooo, the atmosphere became super charged and extremely uncomfortable. After having to deal with a narc ex, and having done the modules, I was able to maintain my center and my sense of calm and not be triggered this time. How lovely! So for sure I knew that going into judgement and all that entails would be counter intuitive. I firmly and politely stood my ground and told her that she and I simply does not work and told her that she would have to find another place to live. Thank you for enabling me to get to this place. Lots of love and hugs, Helen xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Helen,

      I am so pleased this was great timing for you!

      How wonderful that you were no longer ever again going to compromise your values … that is powerful!

      How lovely indeed – huge graduation and a punch in the air celebration cry called for!

      I am so thrilled for you Helen!!

      Lots of love and hugs to you too 🙂

      Mel xo

  • thebarnx4@sbcglobal.net'
    Kim
    November 15, 2016

    This video is perfect timing. Melanie I have been experiencing a situation with a tenant that is triggering anger and fear. But I dont think its judgement I think it is discernmernt. They have broken their lkease agreement in several ways over the years. The woman tenant is the agreesor and I have worked on my quantum healing techniques and have been approaching the situation with love and integrity and that seems to cause her to be that much more agressive so yesterday I contacted my lawyer to send a letter that we will not be renewing thier rental agreement next month. I feel badly that it has come to this but the situation is too toxic for me and so I am choosing to end the relationship. I have not engaged in any of her tactics. I have remained neutral. In this state I have been able to clearly see my truth and make lovinng decisions for me my family and my other tenant. Its a two family house. I am an alcoholic in recovery 5 years. I am comitted to the AA program and I am also a survivor of narcisistic abuse. Thanks to your quantum techniques I have been able to establish no contact with him for 3 years. Thank you so much for your work.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Kim,

      I am so pleased it was timely for you!

      This is so wonderful that you were able to stand in integrity, create boundaries and honour you.

      Powerful and wonderful.

      A fabulous graduation!

      You are so welcome Kim.

      Mel xo

  • roma4amor@gmail.com'
    Deanna
    November 16, 2016

    Dear Mel,
    I always LOVE LOVE LOVE your videos as well as your QFH tools. This one is also hugely helpful.
    I do have a question though:
    Relating to the example you use at the end of the video, I have found that when it comes to narcissists, even when I do the quantum work and then try to be authentic, the results I get are similar to having my head smashed against a brick wall. Since the narcissist in my life is an elderly family member, I do not feel that it is right for me to have no contact with this person at all. Yet I do my best to self-partner, be authentic and also detach as much as possible.
    Can you offer any feedback and advice on what to do when one is “stuck in the middle”, so to speak–meaning one is using the tools but because a narcissist is still mentally ill, one still seems to always come up against narcissist rage when I don’t provide that feed that is so desperately craved by the narcissist? I have many times asked myself “Who am I in relation to this?”. I AM the most authentic I can be but everytime I have to deal with this person, I feel like I am walking through a pathological land mine and on more occasions than I’d prefer, these land mines end up blowing up in my face.

    Thanks for all you do. You are truly a life saver.
    Love…

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Deanna,

      I am so pleased you are loving these resources!

      Great question …

      Hun, where narcissists are concerned we are NOT meant to be able to generate relationship with them … what they are in our Life for … is to lose all dependencies to False Sources and instead come home to being a full Source to ourselves, finally healing those parts of ourselves that have we had previously disowned back to wholeness.

      No Contact or Modified Contact is key.

      And healing all parts of yourself that feel obligated – I need to remain in the firing line – I can’t let go – or I will be judged by others ..

      Whatever it is that is not allowing to honour what your body is telling you – which is “Wrong Town … NOT my reality!”

      All of us when we evolve and get really serious about this (our self-soverignity and absolute love and super-present care) are willing to lose it all to get it all. We approach others with our truth and needs and if they can’t or won’t honour that we LEAVE … and we mean it.

      It is non-negotiable.

      People do NOT have to change who they are – we do.

      And when we do there are certain things we will not allow in our Life anymore (abuse) and we know we have the sovereign right to leave any person who is abusive, until and if that could change.

      With NPD the truth is it won’t.

      The question “Who Am I in Relation To This?” … has to be authentic, and the first step of authenticity is self-love.

      I take a stand for my inner being for only living as love, truth and wholesomeness.

      Now ask yourself the question …

      The answer can ONLY be “I am a person who will NEVER again give up my values of love, care, decency and making my own Inner Being and her health my highest priority.”

      Now your answer as to “what to do” can be clear.

      Have you been honest with this person about their behaviour?

      Have you asked for what you need from them?

      Have you laid boundaries that state “No – if you dishonour me?

      Have you declared to yourself if heath cannot and will not be generated with me THEN I LEAVE?

      Have your realised that what they answer with is NOT important – your commitment to yourself is UNCONDITIONALLY generated regardless of what they do or don’t answer your with.

      That is the level you need to heal yourself to and then act on.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

      • roma4amor@gmail.com'
        Deanna
        November 17, 2016

        Thank you so much Melanie for taking the time out of your busy schedule to give me such a detailed and loving reply.
        Thank you too for the support and reminders about taking care of myself and that with a person with severe NPD, her behavior doesn’t change. Thus it is impossible to have any semblance of a decent relationship with her. I have tried to have an authentic dialogue with this person, several times, and she won’t even listen. I am no longer willing to be her emotional toilet nor tyrannized by her.
        I am literally getting on a plane this evening to go to live 1200 miles away from this person; a huge step in self-sovereignty because I will also be far away from other family members who are truly near and dear to me.

        Your videos and your QFH tools have literally been a lifesaver to me.

        With the utmost appreciation,
        Deanna
        xo

        • wopla@gmx.com'
          Miba
          November 18, 2016

          GOOD JOB Deanna! Now THAT’S what I call taking the leap :D. Quite literally! ♥

          • roma4amor@gmail.com'
            Deanna
            November 18, 2016

            Thank you Miba! Nice to e-meet you!

  • anker3110@hotmail.com'
    Anke
    November 16, 2016

    Beautiful and strong and true. Thank you Mel, for being such a brave woman and for sharing your truth! Lets all become the change we want to experience. Lot, but really lots of love. Anke

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Anke,

      Thank you and I am so pleased your enjoyed this.

      It’s my pleasure – there are many of us out there now!

      I feel your love Anke and return it to you in masses!

      Mel xo

  • Getmail100@yahoo.com'
    Bren
    November 16, 2016

    Totally yes…..wow what an awesome excellent topic….really helps me. (In all areas of my life) After my post on the forum…. I totally looked at it differently……what relief….. Thank you Mel. I now see this election outcome for advancing consciousness. Only way to live my life now.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Bren,

      Glad you enjoyed it lovely one … and I am so pleased you have had a wonderful shift!

      Mel xo

  • sevass@rogers.com'
    Siobhan
    November 16, 2016

    What a powerful and truly accurate message. Your truth is my truth and its not always easy to speak it out load. thank you for leading the way. with respect.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 16, 2016

      Hi Siobhan,

      bless you dear lady – and it is my pleasure.

      Thank you for being a part of this.

      Mel xo

  • margodalinghaus@gmail.com'
    Margo Dalinghaus
    November 16, 2016

    Melanie – You are so incredibly lovely. THANK YOU. xox

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 17, 2016

      Hi Margo,

      thank you for your lovely words – and you are so welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

  • astrologychick@gmail.com'
    Aura
    November 16, 2016

    This message is so great and timely. So many of us need to hear it. For me it validates the experience that I just had this past week. I was so triggered and furious after the election. My childhood trauma from narcissistic sexual abuse was creating a blind rage in me and I also realized how horrible it felt to be in that space. And I managed to get myself back to center and reconnect with my source, which is something that I have always known how to do even since I was a little girl and going through all of that abuse. But I still find myself fighting it because I am ‘judging’ that it shouldn’t have to be this way. I love how you said this is exactly how it DOES have to be in order for a mass healing to take place. I believe this is true.

    Once I was able to clear all of that garbage – which took a few days after the election – I have felt a million times better, and all the angry, aggressive people and crazy drivers have now gone out of my personal experience like magic. And now I get to focus on being there with my 7 year old son and loving him, which is so many millions of times better.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 17, 2016

      Hi Aura,

      I love that you have connected to you and are be-ing your Life.

      It is incredible how when we are no longer “that thing” then we start vibrating elsewhere.

      I also agree re the aggressive people … they leave … when we are intent on being other than that.

      Mel xo

  • ella.jakobson@gmail.com'
    Bella
    November 16, 2016

    Spot on 🙂

  • kellie6966@gmail.com'
    Jane
    November 16, 2016

    Dear Melanie. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have endured 10 years of emotional abuse from what i now realize was my beloved and adored narcissistic husband. He cruelly and purposefully controlled me by rejecting and leaving me every six months. I became a shadow of myself. His ultimate rejection was discovered in February when I found him on a website working as a male escort. The ultimate abuse. Did he stop his abuse once I found out? Nope. He refused to divorce me and is fighting me every step of the way in my desire to separate our finances. I have searched far and wide for answers as to why this has happened and by ‘chance’ heard about you on Hay House Radio. I have been intently listening to you for a week and am finding meaning and peace in this dreadful yet growthful experience. I have an amazing business, fabulous health, beautiful family and wonderful friends yet I couldn’t for the life of me understand why someone I loved could do this to me. Now I know. Now I am starting to find peace and meaning in this terrible situation. Because of you. Thank you Melanie xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 17, 2016

      Hi Jane,

      you are most welcome 🙂

      I am so pleased you are now starting to access deeper truths and healing.

      That is what sets us free …

      Mel xo

  • darcylynnb@hotmail.com'
    Darcy
    November 17, 2016

    Excellent video, as always, but here is where I need some clarification. I was listening to Marianne Williamson speak last night and as I have pointed out to others and as she pointed out last night, those of us who did not vote for the president-elect have some very valid, real concerns concerning his views (which can be characterized as racist, misogynistic, xenophobic). She emphasized that we need to remain vigilant. Many in our country brushed off his many remarks illustrating these views during the campaign saying it was just bombast that he didn’t really mean and a tactic to garner votes. However, he is now assembling his team and the man he wants to appoint as his chief strategist is a well-known, self-proclaimed white nationalist/supremacist. This has truly disturbing implications for a country that is now very divided and where racial tensions run high. And as you pointed out, many in our country are feeling very triggered. I fully understand that the healing we need to experience is within and we want to address our triggers with Quanta Healing first and foremost so we are not coming from a place of judgment (fear and anger). Once we have done the healing, we are then in a place of neutrality and calm and can come from a place of peace (discernment). Marianne would agree with you that we don’t want to come from a place of judgment, as the Course in Miracles teaches we are all “one,” but that we must also speak up when it comes to social issues such as racism. She points out that spirituality and politics are intertwined and though she urges us to pray for the president-elect, we don’t get a “spiritual pass” by saying that we just “don’t do politics, it’s not spiritual” as it is intertwined with our daily lives, just as spirituality is. When you said the best thing we can do to heal our world is to do it in our hammock as opposed to on the battlefield, I wasn’t clear if you meant to focus only on our own individual healing and not get involved in social issues or if you simply meant, heal yourself first and then go out and get involved but come from a healed, calm, discerning place. I simply would not feel comfortable sitting on the sidelines when I see social injustice – Martin Luther King, Jr. is a personal hero of mine and he urged us not to stand idly by when we see it but to come from a place of loving strength to challenge it. For instance, today I spoke to a staff member at my Senator’s office today and calmly and kindly asked him to pass along the message not to approve the appointment of the man mentioned previously in this post. Thanks so much for your clarification on this.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 17, 2016

      Hi Darcy,

      this is such a great question.

      I truly believe that when we “get in the hammock” this is first of all about addressing the broken places in ourselves which are succumbing to fear, pain and judgement – to shore these up.

      Then when we become “whole”, 100% our soul missions start outpouring out of us.

      We become actively and powerfully “pro” rather than “anti”.

      Rather than push back against something, only cementing it in our experience deeper, we circumvent and generate new truths, and forge new pathways that gain momentum and leave the old orders behind.

      Yes … absolutely I mean get involved … and when we become connected to our True Self than we all have a mission inside us just waiting to be unleashed.

      Such is the reason we are on this planet at this time.

      This unfolding is never going to be effective if its being generated from our “small” ego self.

      You are right on it Darcy 🙂

      Mel xo

      • darcylynnb@hotmail.com'
        Darcy
        November 17, 2016

        Thank you for your prompt and insightful response! I had a feeling that what you just articulated so beautifully was what you were conveying in your video, but I just wanted to be sure. Additionally, it’s very validating to hear that I was on the right track as I had thought that what you and Marianne were saying was essentially the same – your approach, Marianne’s (Course in Miracles) and Neale Donald Walsh’s are all quite similar and I so resonate with the work you all do – all so empowering.

  • violetsavir@gmail.com'
    Violet
    November 18, 2016

    Hi Mel,
    I’m a big fan of your videos and your work. Are you talking about Shadow Work in the beginning of the video? The reason I ask is because I never resonated with it, and yesterday I listened to an interview with one of the advocates of the method that got me thinking it has potential to be very damaging and a true disservice for cases like mine. I kept wondering ‘is it just me or this doesn’t make any sense?’
    I’ve been with a narcissist for the past 10 years and the only place I found an explanation that made total sense was through NARP. Keep up with the great work you’re doing. May your light shine brighter each day. Many blessings to you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 22, 2016

      Hi Violet,

      truly it is all about “shadow work” – meaning we all have disowned parts within us that are trapped in fear and pain – the parts of ourselves that we would rather not face – but are screaming out for our attention anyway.

      Would we ignore a car engine squealing, or a roof dripping?

      That is what our shadow parts call us to do, to stop running from them and instead run TO them with love with the intention of healing them.

      Only then do our shadows not keep pulverising us as internal anxiety and depression, or meeting us inThe Field of Life through other people’s matching pain and fear – designed to make our disowned parts conscious to us.

      I am so pleased my work and NARP makes sense to you!

      Mel xo

  • Sarah.bakewell@orange.fr'
    Sarah
    November 19, 2016

    Hi Melanie
    Thank you thank you!!! Firstly, I have just recovered from a 16 year cycle of abusive relationships … Thanks to you! Now I finally understand these triggers. I’ve been reading books for years trying to understand self empowerment and you have really put things into perspective.
    I used to have triggers at work when I met new people or had a new mission, my stomach would just loop the loop (as my mum would often say) but I feel so much more confident and relaxed after doing the NARP program. I am also having a little problem with someone at work who I feel is ignoring me and treats me like I am inferior so after watching your video I realize I have been judging her and treating myself as an inferior being.
    Once again …!thank you so so much for sharing this and love to everyone 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 22, 2016

      Hi Sarah,

      you are so welcome 🙂

      I love that you have been able to turn all of this around, as a result of up-levelling with NARP.

      Well done and bless you!

      Mel xo

  • alexarosabala@yahoo.com'
    Alexandra
    November 27, 2016

    THANK YOU! Become the love you want in the world!!!!! This is so profound for me … I don’t have the words… going through a difficult time regarding the N I undestand now, even more the truth about what you are talking about… so much healing to do in myself what a huge opportunity is being presented to me WOW! Aha moment people!!! Though I have read it, understand it… is until now with Melanie s words and within the personal storm, I have finally realized… the opportunity this is ! THANK YOU!

  • ksanz.monica@gmail.com'
    Mks
    February 6, 2017

    Dear Melanie,
    Being in the middle of it all right now, i just want to tell you I feel so close to you <3. I thank you for sharing all this <3
    I have promised myself to understand and solve this ASAP, earn just enough to come see you face to face 🙂 .

    My Gratitude from the bottom of my soul.
    May you always be whole, well and happy <3

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    February 22, 2017

    I really needed this episode. Thank you very much, Melanie!

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