Anyone who has been narcissistically abused knows what it feels like to be enmeshed with the narcissist. It feels crippling, all consuming, and, at the time of the extremes, as if there is no way to be released.
This enmeshment occurs physically and especially psychically.
The reason I say especially psychically is because, even if you end a relationship with a narcissist, and even when eventually you separate material possessions and have no physical or verbal contact, the connection that you cannot physically or logically define is much harder to break.
What I mean by being ‘psychically entangled’ with a narcissistic is this. You feel like the narcissist is crawling under your skin. It seems like the narcissist never left. Many people report the feeling as if the narcissist, and all the associated pain that goes with narcissistic abuse, is still running through their veins like a poisonous black ink.
That is certainly how it felt for me.
While this psychic enmeshment is going on, you feel like everywhere you look, and every location you are in, reminds you of the narcissist. Trying to get the narcissist out of your mind and your emotions is akin to needing an exorcism.
Many people report that even decades later this feeling is still with them. They feel that the narcissist has captured their soul, won’t return it, and they have no idea what it is to feel ‘normal’ again.
Chances are you may know how this felt, or are still feeling this horrible psychic entanglement.
You may think, “When will I be able to break free from these feelings, I feel like I’m literally possessed!” It is terribly frustrating when people in your life (who have no idea of the extent or dynamics of narcissistic abuse) can’t even begin to comprehend what you mean. They can’t understand why you don’t just get on with your life.
I know many of you will be nodding your head in agreement.
None of it seems to make sense. It’s not logical. After all this person has done to you, you would think that you could wipe them easily out of your thoughts and feelings – yet the infiltration of a narcissist into your soul feels like a disease that you just can’t shake.
One thing is for sure, and that is to live a normal, healthy and happy life ever again, these shackles have to be broken…
It is such a relief when they are, and you break free in order to create your real life. A life which bears no resemblance to narcissistic abuse.
The Visualisation to Break the Binds
There is a great deal of information on the internet regarding how to break the psychic ties of the narcissistic hold. Many of these sources are reputable, and truly I do believe that anything that is going to help you evict the narcissist out of your life and say “No More!” is beneficial.
There are meditations, CD’s and visualisations that can certainly assist with this process.
One of my favourite visualisations, that I used to do to help evict the narcissist out of my psychic space, was to imagine a white hand (the hand of divinity) picking him up and removing him from my space. I then imagined a huge white pair of scissors cutting all of the chords joining him and me, and then imagined huge protective circles of light and steel going around myself and my aura.
I then asked Arch Angel Micheal to wrap his wings around me and protect me.
This was at a time when I was feeling incredibly, broken, distressed, and feeling like I was being constantly psychically (as well as physically) threatened and attacked. The visualisations that I performed regularly certainly helped.
I do have to tell you though, that this was not the real or full solution..
This visualisation provided relief, because it bought me time to work on myself. It helped me mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but ultimately did not provide the real solution to creating myself and coming home to a completely different vibration from the narcissist and being able to claim my True Life.
This process treated the symptom, but did not produce the cure.
As with any process that treats symptoms, this one has to be repeated, and repeated. Whereas, if the true core problem is solved, there is no symptom to treat.
The Problem That Leads to Psychic Vandalisation
If we are not in our True Power then we are highly susceptible to being violated mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and especially psychically (the most subtle yet often crippling violation of all).
When we are a Source to ourselves and in our True Self function there is no violation, because our boundaries and Self is clear, defined and impervious, and we are no longer a match for abuse, people stealing our power, and other individuals infiltrating our being or physically destroying us….
When we become established as a True Self, there is no longer a need to protect ourselves, because we simply are not a match for the narcissist’s (or any abuser’s) energy.
No one can infiltrate your energy unless you have ‘holes’ in your energetic, emotional, mental and practical boundaries, and no-one can infiltrate your energy unless there is still a part of you co-dependently holding that person responsible for your life.
Of course, cleaning this up requires effort, and healing, and most definitely tie cutting visualisation, verbal declarations of eviction, self-salt baths and any other process that helps grant you strength and support is appropriate, until you can work to and establish the real solution. Please note I write about many processes to disconnect your energy from the narcissist in my eBook Self Care When Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
The Goal to Reach For
The real goal is to be our True Self who ‘just is’, meaning being real and true to ourselves, not holding anyone else responsible for the creation of our life (they can only add to it if they are a match to our truth and values), strong with boundaries and living with joy in life without fear – knowing that if anything inappropriate comes up, we can trust ourselves, confront it, hold our truth and be the guardian and director of our own energy. And none of this is reliant on whether or not someone else does ‘get it’. What is vital is that we ‘get it’.
Once effectively recovering from co-dependency and creating healthy boundary function – this is the reality you begin to live.
Then there is no more fear of being infiltrated, messed with and psychically drained or manipulated. All of that becomes Not Your Reality! Your reality is: you are free to be you, rather than always having to be concerned about protecting yourself from others, which of course is an energetic statement of fear.
The truth of the matter is, we can create quick fix solutions such as visualisations and tie-cuttings, and verbal evictions (which will need to be repeated), but the underlying energetic truth is: If I fear it, and give it energy, I will continue to attract it.
The genuine solution is to become empowered and real, and then you will have no fear, and there will be no attraction, and no ties to break.
In my decades of spiritual awareness and connections with others, I have found that many of the people who have the greatest amount of infiltrations (real and imagined) in their life, are the people who do regular visualisations on psychic protection and tie-cutting.
In my opinion – these people have not established True Self empowerment and boundaries yet, and are still living in fear.
The beliefs and fears regarding not having boundary function (I can’t look after myself and navigate life safely) and believing that our Reality was dependent on others (co-dependency) led to the phenomena of narcissistic abuse.
Because of our lack of skills in these areas, our energy was able to be infiltrated, stolen and manipulated.
Once this is cleaned up, that is no longer possible because:
• You are a source to yourself, creating your own life authentically.
• You attract more of ‘who you are’ mindfully and consciously.
• What is Not Your Reality is no longer a vibrational match for you, and you have no need to try to change and fix anything or anyone to make it happen.
• You no longer have the fear of scarcity and stop trying to make unmakeable deals work. There is no longer a need to emotionally ‘hang on’ to what or who doesn’t work in your life, because of the fear of nothing better coming.
• You know life supports you, and that you can vibrationally, emotionally and practically support and look after yourself, and create more of that.
• You have no yearning for what a particular person is thinking about you, or what you meant to them (the narcissist). What is important is what you think and feel about yourself.
• You know that you are your own power source and that the narcissist is not, and never was responsible for you or being this source.
The Gift to Claim
When the illusions are broken and fall away, then you have changed and come home to your True Self Function. Now, you are no longer a match for psychic infiltration, enmeshment and takeover – and never will be again. There is no part of you being the other half of the magnet holding up the enmeshment. There is nothing for the narcissist to hook into or onto. Your energy and Self is energetically untouchable by anything that is not your Truth.
The great thing about all of this is: this is SO not just about the narcissist!
Can you imagine what it feels like to be free in every area of your Life?
Do you understand that the ‘taking on other people’s energy, to a point where it messes with your own’ has been accentuated to the point of critical mass with the narcissist – but it was really going on, in unhealthy levels in your life anyway?
Can you be honest and real enough with yourself to admit that?
Can you see that your need to Break The Binds With The Narcissist is now so necessary (because life is totally unbearable and agonising if you don’t), that all of what is happening is an incredible process bringing you home to your personal freedom and truth in every area of your life?
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