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It’s almost been a month since we announced the release of my upcoming book ‘You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse‘, and now we are nearing the final two weeks until it’s released!

Woohoo!!

I dearly hope you’re enjoying all the materials we’ve had coming your way.

The reason I’ve reached out to you with all our pre-launch material is that we are passionate about serving the greater mission – to spread global awareness of narcissistic abuse, and the tools to heal for real, to break the cycle of abuse/abused for us and our future generations.

Today, we have another extremely special interview for you, which I know will give you immense benefit, regardless of which phase of your recovery journey you are at …

I am honoured today to bring you our next expert interview, a lady who is respected and loved by so many.

Dr. Christiane Northrup, my dear friend and colleague, has been on the leading edge of women’s health and wellness for decades. She is a literal power-house revolutionising awareness, healing and change globally.

Christiane has multiple New York Times best-selling books and her work has been featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.

I adore Christiane’s work and philosophies, as they are SO Thriver orientated, granting you the ability to take your power back and generate the life you were born to live.

Many of you are empaths and old souls so I know you will just love this interview!

Within it, Christiane and I discuss the rise of global narcissism, and how we are in the times of such powerful and exciting healing necessity NOW!

Many of us have experienced the following … as giving, sensitive souls with much Light to offer, we are targets for psychic vampires – people who drain our energy lives, sanity and souls dry.

This is why this conversation is a much-needed one!

Within this interview Christiane shares:

  • Who an empath really is
  • How to give, heal and serve without being preyed on by narcissistic individuals
  • How autoimmune diseases are closely linked with narcissistic abuse
  • Why intelligent people can’t fix narcissists
  • Why when you cut the chord with a narcissist you feel like you will die
  • How to take your power back whilst healing
Christiane and I also talk about the deeper reasons for narcissists appearing in our lives, and how as energetically sensitive souls, we CAN shore up our gaps and susceptibilities so that toxic people can no longer feed off our energy.

 

 

Show Notes

Christiane discusses global narcissism and the exciting times we are in. (4.12)

Who is an ’empath?’ (5.28)

Why intelligent people can’t ‘fix’ narcissists. (9.46)

An important message for healers and caregivers. (11.45)

How to give, heal and serve without being drained dry by narcissists. (13.39)

What is cognitive dissonance? (17.59)

The link between autoimmune diseases, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and having an energy vampire in your life. (19.00)

Why cutting the chord with a narc feels like you are going to die. (20.47)

Why we can’t change a narcissist and how narcs can find your gaps to feed on. (22.20)

The ‘time in between’ – leaving a narc and finding your tribe. (24.28)

Narcissistic Abuse brings more light into you and your life. (29.05)

Empaths are Angels and we are in ‘The End Times’ of the old paradigm. (29.47)

Waking up to taking your power back through healing. (32.05)

 

Thank You For Watching!

I always love interview conversations with Dr. Christiane, because she gets right down to it, and tells it how it really is!  I always learn so much from her!

This topic relates to sooooo many of us in this community.  Like there was for me, there will be MANY powerful takeaways for you!

Please share this interview with your tribe – the people like you, who are sensitive, empathic souls, who have been hurt by over-entitled narcissistic people.

I’m soooo looking forward to this conversation with you.

Please post below!

 

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Commments (84) + Leave a comments

84 thoughts on “Empath’s Guide To Healing After A Narcissistic Relationship Breakdown – With Dr. Christiane Northrup”

      1. I loved the part Christiane talked about the woman who looked horrible and the guy looked like a million dollars. That example answers a question I have had for a long time, which was why did I look so horrible and old the longer I was in marriages and relationships with narcissists. It was they were draining me dry.

        Reply

    2. The interview with Dr Northrop was extremely informative, empowering and somewhat surprising. It gave me some insight on the strange illnesses I’ve been plagued by. I only know my world by feeling it. I am a psychic empath and even armed with such a special gift I’m always surprised when I find out there is another narc in my life. I believe it’s because I am able to feel the real person hidden deep inside. I can’t feel the fake emotions because they aren’t real. That’s my take on why I don’t recognize the narcissist until it’s too late and I haven’t figured out what to do about it. Although the second time I did realize sooner because of the familiar behaviors I was seeing. My psychic empath abilities did not come out until after my first relationship with a narcissist. It surprised me to know it has happened to other people too except for the psychic part, but I’m sure it has happened to others as well.

      Reply

  2. Mel, I’ve been following Christiane’s work since I was a sister goddess in the Mama Gena Community! So glad you have found each other! This one really hit home! Definitely a repeat watch.

    Reply

  4. Mel, thank you for all these amazing interviews with these amazing women! Dr. Northrup hit it right at the beginning that we only now have the language, brain scans and awareness to deal with this centuries-old problem. It’s truly a very exciting time! I listen to these interviews over and over because they’re so rich in content and immediately applicable. SO grateful for you and all at MTE and your guests! Blessings!

    Reply

  5. I loved this interview. What I loved most is learning how to love the parts of ourselves that need to be loved the most. I’ve heard other influential people talking about loving these aspects of ourselves but for me, Dr Northrup explained best how to do this. Thankyou for this uplifting interview.

    Reply

  6. Amazing. Thank you. Would love a part 2 continuation. Very intriguing and Inspiring to see what’s possible after abuse.

    Reply

  7. Great interview. So helpful. Feeling grateful.
    Congrats on the book Melanie. It’s been a year since my breakup with a narcissist. I don’t know what I would’ve done or where I would be had I not downloaded Mel’s recovery tools. As much as I kicked and screamed through it, I have come to see the progress I’ve made. I’m having more good days than bad. Just last week somebody passed on to me Dr. Northrip’s affirmation: “I accept myself unconditionally right now” and it was exactly what I needed. Then this interview comes along…wow!

    Reply

    1. Hi Teresa,

      I’m so pleased you enjoyed the interview and that you’ve made wonderful healing progress.

      Such beautiful synchronicities are perfect confirmation that you are on the right track!

      Many blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  8. This is the best interview ever! Your questions Mel were spot on and as a listener I felt that I truly now know I am an Empath put on this planet to heal. My narc almost broke me but with you weekly emails I rose like a phoenix and my light shines soooo bright. My vibration is up and I look after my little child inside. My colleagues at work tell me daily I look amazing. I am no longer an emotional punching bag. Thank you ladies for one of the best interviews ever, so real and so authentic. From your soul sister in Paris. Mercixxx

    Reply

  10. Thank You Melanie and Christiane!

    Thank you for your very important work!!

    You two have changed my life totally, and I’m happily “coming back home” stronger and wiser than ever before!
    The road’s long, but there’s nothing more inspiring than taking the next step.

    I’m now living “the time in between” chapter, and you know what’s funny?
    I feel like I have lost 60 kg weight from my body, and absolutely unable to realize it and unable to buy clothes of smaller size…. 😀 I’m so stranger to myself.. But feeling soooo much better. Getting back my human rights and kinda learning to know how it feels like. So new..

    I’m an Empath, healer, light worker, indigo, a child of a (covert) narsissistic mom, victim of pedofile, and so much more, and the rest just followed… 😀

    I’ve been working only 1 year with the NARP, Empowered Self, and TFOW -courses.. And now giving a beautiful warm smile to those energy vampires who are trying to hoover me in.. Just one eye contact, and they’ve suddenly changed their minds. 😉

    There are ups and downs, but you two have been guiding me so much on my journey back home.
    Thank You!! <3

    Reply

    1. Hi Siiri,

      You are so welcome!

      Wow you have been through so much Lovely Lady and truly you are here on a Divine mission!

      I’m so happy for you that you are doing the work and healing you.

      So many continued blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  14. Dear Melanie

    Its so wonderful seeing you with Dr Christianne Northrup, 2 amazing women who have and are helping me so much on my healing journey. It was Dr Christianne who introduced me to you in her Hay House Radio show as I have followed Louise Hay since the 80’s.
    Both your work is ground breaking and leading edge. I love it when Dr Christianne talked about how we have now the language for this. That rang a million bells for me. It is true.
    I have done her Dodging Energy Vampires online course and step by step it has led me to NARP which is the crux for me as my mother is the narcissist and her high need from the get go rendered me unable to figure out me until now.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart as your work has given me the map to go on.
    With love
    Reena xxx

    Reply

  15. Hi Mel,
    Wow this a great interview, Sums up so concisely all important elements to remember when learning to live free from Narc abuse and energy vampires.
    I feel I could watch this once a week to refresh! It’s so true that without fear and anger – when in a place of calm and in the light – you can’t give supply. Its when you go in to fear or lose control that one gets so entangled. I like when Christiane said you have to stay a while in the place of newness and bringing in the new energy – learn to embrace it for a while and then the new people and good things will come in to your life. I realise lately that when I get in to a relatively good place I get impatient or panic and don’t just learn to be comfortable hanging around in the ‘in between’ place of leaving the old life behind yet not got a new normal to live in. So I fall back on to old patterns or people or places and then it feels so much worse.
    When she talks about finding that voice in your own power about what you can’t accept a minute longer – I found that voice on two occasions recently. I have struggled particularly to verbally express myself from childhood due to feeling so dis empowered when abuse was taking place and never being encouraged to express my needs or truth. I calmly, verbally called out my ex on something he did as it happened and said don’t do that in such a way he immediately recoiled and even apologised as he walked away. Then just two nights ago a women was screaming on the street outside in the early hours and saying “why are you doing this to me” and “leave me alone”. It shocked me out of my sleep and I went outside in the cold and shouted down from my flats “leave her alone” in the loudest voice I could. He stopped for a moment and panicked which gave her time to run away down the street and then he ran after her so I shouted “I’m calling the police”. I don’ t know the outcome but I heard many sirens after. So he got called out on what I could see was a cat and mouse game within a relationship where she kept trying to get away from him, hysterical and he kept pursuing her.
    I felt like I had come some way from being the victim to calling out that behavior. I am so aware of the dynamics in relationships everywhere I go (as an empath I feel them) that it’s disturbing how many women are trapped in giving away their life force. It’s so true that making oneself boring or less giving and more self absorbed or actually showing a broken leg so to speak to look more human works and shows up who is real or who isn’t. And using this interview as a bench mark for what lifts and what drains or depletes us is brilliant! Hope you can do more interviews with Chistiane in the future?!

    Love to all
    Sophie XX

    Reply

    1. Hi Sophie,

      That is wonderful that you got so much out of this interview and that you are so powerfully awakening into your voice and truth.

      I love that you called him out!

      Power to you Dear Lady.

      I am sure there will be opportunities in the future for Christiane and I to connect again. We are both so passionate about this topic.

      Many continued blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  17. Greetings Mel. Thank you this popped up about 15min after I received a help call from a family member narcissist. As a nurse and empath I lean in towards helping. I have done much healing over the past few years including stepping away from nursing about 6 months ago. I really didn’t know how sick I had let myself get. This talk reminded me he is a black hole and I will never be able to fill. Sometimes the boost at th right time is all that is neede to stay the course. Thank you

    Reply

  18. Thank you Melanie! Another really great interview! I have a question….what do you do if it is your 11yr old child that is draining you this way and showing signs of narcissistic behaviour….my heart is kind of breaking. Is there anything I can do to turn this around? He seems to be great, out in the world but at home it’s another story.

    Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated <3

    Chelsea

    Reply

  19. I have been with my husband for almost 40 years. After all this time I am in a process of divorcing (but I am still living in the same house for now because of some issues with our house preventing me to leave OR is it just an excuse because I feel unsecure?)

    I tried a few times before to leave but I never found the courage to do it until now at 60 years old. I tried everything to save this marriage (writing him letters on how I couldn’t live with things he said and done to me and the children anymore, threatening to leave him (it would be better for a week or two then start again), I went to therapy when I was on the urge of suicide thinking that it might help (the doctor would tell me to leave my husband but I couldn’t) then years later after our children left home to live their own lives, I agreed to go to therapy with him etc.) for 2 years but it didn’t work.

    I have an autoimmune disease (Celiac Disease since 2008) and I always feel tired (brain exhausted). I always contributed the fatigue to the Celiac. Now I know why. I also have back issues (which are probably linked to insecurities). The fatigue is worst when I am around him or people who are full of negativity. A lot of times I have to leave the room because the intensity is unbearable.

    I can’t wait for the day that I am out of the house for good. I am really looking forward to this but there is something inside me who is scared. I have lived with narcissistic behaviour all my life. Thinking that I can be free of all this is exciting but at the same time scary. It is hard to explain. I know that I am doing the right thing by leaving. I am pushing myself every day not to listen to the ego’s voice. It is difficult but I know that I will succeed and be free soon.

    Since my children were small, I always told them that whatever they didn’t like during their lives together, they needed to “break the circle” to not repeat the same things I did. My daughter who is 32 years old told me a few months ago who is seeing a psychologist (for her anxiety issues) told her doctor that my mantra remained in her mind all those years. It warms my heart that those words could save her life. For this reason, she attracted the most wonderful man in her life who is now her husband. After over 10 years of marriage, they are as much in love as the first day. My son also found a wonderful woman. I am so proud of them.

    After almost 10 years on a spiritual journey, working on myself and seeing that my children were able to break the circle, I figured that it is also time for me to break the circle.

    Thank you both Melanie and Christiane for this excellent interview. When you learn more about why you have/had the life you had and attracted the people, it is easier to go forward and make changes in your life so you can finally find happiness and peace…! When you believe and trust in Higher Power, it will take you towards your dreams and freedom!

    Love and Light to you both!

    Sylvie xox <3

    Reply

    1. Hi Sylvie,

      Thank you for your post and please know that you are most welcome.

      That is beautiful that you instilled such love and truth in your children and that they went forward changing the pattern.

      It most certainly is your time too Dear Lady and I would love you to connect to my inner transformational resources which make our healing very direct and empowered in Quantum Ways.

      It’s also allows you to enter new trajectories of life you just didn’t have access to before.

      The starting point is here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      Sending you healing, blessings and breakthrough Sylvie.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  21. Two of my favorite people! You’ve helped me so much with recognizing and escaping the narcissist. I was in a car accident and my health was a mess (brain injury and other physical injurures) but it got so much worse when the narcissist and his demanding narcissistic adult children continued to suck the life out of me. My closest friends told me I would die if I stayed with him. After the narcissist abandoned me when I had nothing left to give, he told me he would not take care of me anymore, I did my self care but he lost my 100,000 income so he left. There is your gray rock! It broke my heart and I spent 2 years trying to over this. In the meantime thanks to you I grew stronger and my health dramatically improved. I got my creativity back and I’m about to launch a neck wrinkle device, it will reduce and prevent wrinkles. It came from how horrible my neck looked after multiple neck surgeries. I will have beauty from ashes:) Oh yes, the narcissist does want to come back. Not going to happen. I’m sitting in Atlanta, GA waiting on my tribe to arrive while I work hard building my company. ANSA Enterprises.

    Thanks to Christine I was on biodentical hormones or my brain might not have recovered from the injury I suffered. You are both amazing ladies and I am buying both of your books, spreading the word. Best wishes on this life changing book, you will help so many people!

    Reply

    1. Awwww Sara, your post and story is so inspirational.

      I love it when our own resurrection from the ashes becomes our unique contribution to the planet.

      You are amazing!

      So much love to you and I just know extraordinary success and joy is yours!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  22. 2nd time listening. Next time I think I will do pauses & take notes. Super powerful, right to the points. So many powerful, poignant points. Gotta listen again. Gotta save this.

    Couple prominent takeaways today from personal experience.
    — Yep, when we first met he honed right in on my weak points. Right in. Oh wow he really sees me. Oh wow .. he must be the one. I felt like shit but he must be my the one. He gets me. There I was then . Just wanted serve him, help him.

    — Then when I made a human mistake that hurt his ego., he pummeled me, tore me down emotionally, convinced me that I was evil, bad person, the whole nine. I bought it. Got weaker & weaker in the relationship . Became his source, his feed, his placental mother.

    — I loved, loved …. the analogy of cutting the placental cord. Because of NARP, after 40+ years, I HAVE JUST SNIPPED THAT PLACENTAL CORD OFF. Now, I just have to let that little dead piece in my belly dry, heal up into a little belly button , a permanent reminder that we are DETACHED! What will he do now for mother’s milk? I dunno AND I duna care”!

    — On lighter note: I also loved that Christiane referred to Tina Turner. One of my fav songs of all times — “WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT, GOT TO DO WITH IT”.

    Thank you again Mel . What a gift!!!!

    Reply

  23. I truly appreciate your thoughts on this topic. Your writings, videos and interviews help me to sort through things every day and help me become more aware of what is being done to me and why I feel and think the way I do. This has been an encouraging and eye-opening system of support.

    However, one thing I find difficult to process as a man is the generalization that this is a woman’s affliction. I realize that there are short disclaimers (i.e., …or a man…, …it isn’t always a woman…, men aren’t the only narcissists…) but they offer more of a feeling of marginalization from these conversations more than something inclusive. I am sure that women are largely affected by such abuse; however, I wonder if that is more because men are less likely to acknowledge being emotionally abused by a woman, much less make a public confession.

    Socially men are trained to be cavemen. Think like cavemen. Act like caveman. Men are to be emotionless. If a man feels intense emotion (that are not anger or revenge) he feels the pressure to hold it in because than his manhood gets questioned. If you have fear, keep it to yourself. This only causes further disenfranchisement. I am not that way at all. I like emotions. I love to talk and spend time with people getting to know them. I am a nurturer. I always wanted a family. A family that would be close and spend time together. I thought family relationships were more important than career aspirations. I worked hard to eek out a living and be very present in the lives of my children and wife. My wife was the opposite. Spending time as a family was not a priority, staying busy was…and that was also used to judge others.

    When I could not longer handle what my wife was doing to me, I collapsed. I didn’t have the strength to get up but I did only so I would not have to listen to how disappointing I was. I wept. I pleaded with her to hear me. I told her I was drowning. But she would then resort to stonewalling, withholding affection or would further torture me by letting me know “men do not behave this way.” She would tell me “be man” and “grow up”. Her family started to do the same thing, attack my manhood (telling me I am not a good husband, that I don’t know how to provide or take care of my kids). I lost my job and that only provided more ammunition. I kept her in the loop in regard to everything that was going on with me and she ignored me. Not one time did she address my issues, concerns or fears. She always let me know how much better she was than me, often referring to herself as near perfect. She would actually tell me I was jealous of her and “You just want to be me.” I truly did not. I liked who I was. I knew precisely what I brought to the table and they were tremendous character traits and abilities. I was never enough for her and earning her love was wearing me down. It was bringing me further and further away from the live path that was more well suited for me. As the haze faded for me the torture got worse. She began to spread atrocious lies about me to others. This just kept my head reeling. I could not figure anything out.

    Even now I fear I am beaten. I do not see a road to recovery.

    I only share a small part of my story with the hope that others will see that a man can be equally devastated by such emotional abuse. All men are not created equal. We have different strengths and weaknesses. When we start letting societal roles dictate how we see others (or feel we should see others) we lose sight of the individual.

    Reply

    1. Hi George,

      I want to dive straight into my reply with you, by letting you know – in our NARP Recovery Community there are many men on my Program healing from narcissists.

      And many of these men are very active in the NARP Forum, with each other and all the forum members at large.

      Please know, you are not alone, and more and more now men are coming forward and profoundly being held and are healing.

      As an advocate for Unity Consciousness I take the stand for ALL of us to heal from this, all gender, races, religions and sexual orientations.

      Check out NARP George, there is no risk whatsoever and your tribe of men and women await you.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      It’s the Gold membership that grants you Forum access.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  24. Hi Melanie,

    Wow that was powerful and elucidating!! Thank you so much for this interview… I will listen to it repeatedly and assimilate the info… I find it so resonating as I am an empath who is presently at that place… having gotten rid of the narc yet not yet in another relationship. This us my time to nurture and heal my inner child. What I know is I’m going nowhere in a hurry. I will bulwark my inner walls first. I will.

    What I also know is that my life will never be the same again for now I know how to repudiate the attention of a NARC so they lose interest… as taught in this interview!! That is awesome!!!

    Kind regards
    And stay blessed
    Annon 2

    Reply

  25. Was really offended when Christiane mocked her Chinese acupuncturist. Clearly very racist as she did not specify the ethnicity of other people she quoted nor did she use a high-pitched accented voice when she quoted people who were not Chinese. Awareness and sensitivity is lacking here from a person who demonstrates so little integrity and authenticity and an excess of entitlement. Very poorly done.

    Reply

    1. I thought the same thing during that part of the video. It did put me off and felt a little elitist. Like those who do not recognize they are narcissists neither do those recognize that they are elitists.

      Reply

  27. I just love Dr Northrup work and yours Melanie. I have a girlfriend that I have had for 55 years and I have just realised that she is a vampire. A very covert one. There are many times when I have felt uncomfortable with her and today I actually realised that it is always about her. 18 months ago I left a marriage of 7 years with a vampire and have been doing Melanie’s healings and reading Christiane’s book. I feel so much more energy in just realising that our relationship is all one sided.

    thank you lovely ladies for your inspiration and fuidance.

    Reply

  28. Melanie-
    I have just recently found you and I have not gotten up off of my knees yet, so to speak, but my punches are still coming consistently in the form of turning to abusing my 15 year old daughter since I left and cannot be his source at hand. This is killing me and I can’t seem to get any energy or will to get off of my knees. I spend all my time trying to get her away from his clutches and just keep getting pushed further and further down, so that I feel held there unable to move, paralyzed, if you will. I know it is wrong but how do I deal with the terror and heartbreak for my daughter and what I know is to come for her in being under his influence. She has already turned to experimenting in alcohol, drugs, and tobacco. She has started acting promiscuously and is sleeping around, not taking care of herself and her appearance, quit softball (she has played since she was three and adores it), and rolled her car and was nearly killed all in the space of a year since she has gone to stay with her father, not to mention has cut off all contact with me. My heart is broken and I am still trying to comprehend how to go on with my life since fleeing from him 5 years ago in November. It has been a non-stop battle regarding the children, money, and visitation. I am at a loss about everything at this point. I am $10,000 in debt to an attorney, blocked from her life, and he is now working on my innocent 5 year old. I have started listening to your podcasts and I relate to you completely. How do I get up?

    Reply

    1. Hi L L Anon,

      Dear Lady my heart goes out to you, because deep in the trenches under attack and watching our previous children being hurt is one of the most horrific things we can ever go through.

      I really want you to know that I have been in this place myself and with my son, and so many others in this community have as well.

      There is only one way I know of how to beat this, which is exactly what I did and so many others, under siege, in this community have done – to come out the other side …

      Heal ourselves. Because where we go, as the non narcissistic parent, is where our children follow. We cannot give someone else the oxygen they need to survive when we are suffocating ourselves. The analogy in planes completely and utterly applies in this situation too – you have got to get your oxygen mask on first, which means detaching from him and fully coming isn’t o your inner being to address and heal your trauma.

      Quite probably you had your daughter both depend on you doing this – as I know 100 percent … neither my son or I would have made it unless I fully committed to healing myself.

      NARP is the total answer as this inner work http://www.melanietoniaevabs.com/narp

      And you can sample exactly what it entails here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      As a NARP member you have lifetime access to The NARP Forum for support from other parents who have been through exactly what you have, who can help hold you and guide you to breakthrough http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      Also if you google my name + children you will see the many resources I have created on this topic. Also a Thriver series ‘Healing Our Children’ will explain so much regarding our Quantum ability, with NARP, to heal the unthinkable for ourselves and our children.

      These are the incredible solutions that work that I can offer you, but it does require you full heartedly being prepared to heal you, and work with this your awful situation a way that is not what you have tried before.

      The old way we all tried to deal with this didn’t work and never was going to. It requires deeper healing solutions, which is what my inner transformational work is all about, and generates the real results that it does.

      I hope this helps and sending love, support and healing to you and your daughter.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  29. Hi Melanie!

    I have done narp and other energy healing and I am in so much more better place than I was about 1-2 years ago. Nowadays not just being alive but also feeling alive.
    I just cleaned my closet. I think the closet is such a good metaphora for our mind, also there is hiding some hidden and already forgotten stuff. But I cleaned the actual closet. I had forgotten, because I have not worn them for a very long time…some clothes I used the day I met the n, and some more that I used in our dates etc., in that era. I literally felt disgusted. I cannot imagine wearing those clothes anymore, and for sure not when I’m with hopefully with some new man. It would literally feel like I would be wearing “the past” 🙁
    I felt myself little bit silly, I think the clothes per se, do not carry any “energy”…but my thoughts and emotions surely do! If clothes or anything makes me feel bad and remind me about the n…time to get rid of them! I gave those clothes to charity. It is amazing how much lighter I felt after doing that! I do not want any of that “old energy” that is in any way related to the n circulating in my home.
    I felt little bit bad, one of the clothes was a “designer” item, a present from my sister, but I felt the need to throw that away too. Those clothes are not my style anyway anymore. I just hope that narcissists are neither my style anymore! 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hi Julia,

      That’s great that you are feeling do much better.

      I totally agree! If the energy of an item feels like that, let it go!

      Keep cleaning out and uplevelling beautiful lady – all the limiting thoughts and feelings as well as the items!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  30. This discussion was so amazing to me that I listened to it twice! Thank you Melanie. I appreciate all you do and share with the world. It’s icomforting to know others understand, are learning and growing, and that our experiences are not unique to just ourselves. I am beyond grateful for the truths you share and the ability to apply them everyday.
    Bless You!

    Reply

  31. Great video Melanie as always, Ive been a fan of Christiane Northrup for years I’ve read most of her books. I was so thrilled today to see two pioneers collaborate ❤️ both your works have been so helpful to me and so many others, thank you. Although I was a little concerned at the comment about avoiding ‘borderline people’ I am a creative, Empath & hsp and have been in your program for 2 years with N mother/brother in my FoO and also experiences in adult life. I also have a diagnosis of bpd and C-ptsd the latter being an umbrella term for all the boarderline conditions or so I was told yesterday by a mental health professional. I watched Christiane email series on ’emotional vampires’ as well and seem to remember the same comment there. For someone who is recovering from these conditions and learning to live with extreme sensitivity, this type of comment could have major setbacks for those who are vulnerable and waking up. I thought the feedback may be appreciated as I’m still a huge fan and know this process works x
    Ps also there is some debate and cross overs in the UK with bpd and c-cpsd misdiagnosis. I do see these as labels and we are all unique also, I feel these things are important to clarify for those who I trying to navigate the self or mind x

    Reply

    1. Hi Nikki,

      I am so pleased our work has helped you!

      I personally believe that no matter what our conditions and diagnosis, if we are prepared to turn inwards and meet and release the trauma generating the condition, that we get well.

      I know 100 percent at the time I had my breakdown, I could have easily been diagnosed as histrionic or personality disordered, because I was that sick.

      As it was, the diagnosis I was given were supposedly never able to be healed.

      To me what is important is, are we prepared to fully meet our inner being and do the work on those parts of us we’d rather run from … and are we going to commit to love and heal ourselves back to wholeness?

      Sending much love and continued blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

      1. Thank you Melanie for the reply xx yes I agree there are probably numerous people who have stepped through this gunk with temporary labels, Yours is an especially inspirational story and gives much hope. I am well on my way to full recovery, thanks to you and many others and yes my own commitment to awakening ♥️
        I suppose I felt I needed to send this feedback on behalf of all those bpd/c-ptsd and not yet conscious, as 1 in 10 with bpd sadly commit suicide, this is why the comment in the video Realy worried me, especially as the sense of self is already so damaged and fractured. But they do have hope of full recovery, unlike most with npd as your aware. Also for the young people out there without life experience are especially vulnerable to these comments, including my daughter who also has had a diagnosis of bpd (temporarily 😊). I would very much appreciate this feedback sent to Christiane, I would do this myself but I’m not sure how to contact her?
        This is sent with much love, as I know it’s a marvalous thing you are both doing. I don’t usualy feel such a strong urge to post but this wouldn’t let me rest.

        Thank you & warmest wishes

        Nikki

        Reply

  32. Thank you so much Melanie and Christiane for your great interview. Doing your Narp and Empowered inner work has being a life saver as brought up so much awareness of triggers to be healed and it is still a journey of inner healing as an Empath from an N family. Thank you again Melanie for your great wisdom and support to all of us.

    Reply

    1. Hi Healingpath,

      It’s our pleasure!

      That’s great that you are self partnering and doing the inner work.

      That’s where your great life is going to be birthed from.

      Much love to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  33. I’m not sure about that Christiane’s advice, “become unattractive, have needs”, in the hope that then the n would react differently. Isn’t that a manipulative thing in itself to do? I wouldn’t do it. If I would anything manipulative, then I think I’m (almost) as low level as the n!
    I remember reading this advice somewhere “do not play mind games with the n, you don’t match to his level of cruelty, so he probably “wins” anyway”.
    What this probably means in simple terms is run away and don’t look back!
    But if Christiane is a doctor and those people are her clients, maybe in that case she can’t just get rid of them so easily, if that’s what she meant?

    And curiously, if I was ill or complained to the n about my period pains etc. (at the time when I still believed he was normal), he was the most caring person ever. I could complain about anything in the world and he would listen and sympathize…but alas, if there was even a tiniest complain towards him or about him, he immediately became extremely triggered, defensive and suddenly telling me all what is supposedly wrong with ME. That behaviour started when I had known him just two or three days. Funny how the warning signs show up so early, but I didn’t paid attention. So I “endured” him 3 years, but now it’s over.

    Reply

  34. Hello Melanie,
    Your work is so inspiring, I’ve been following your videos and have the NARP programme after a surreal encounter with a narcissistic ex partner and friend.
    This video was excellent particularly the bit about how to practice self love which I think is the route of it all.
    Can I clarify though, do you believe that people with borderline personality are on the narcissistic spectrum and / or are energy vampires? I have worked professionally with BPD and haven’t found all clients like that at all. Would be interested in your thoughts.
    Many thanks again.

    Reply

    1. Hi Tonnie,

      Thank you, I’m so pleased you love my work and resources.

      I personally have worked with Borderline people who have empathy and a conscience and who do wish to heal, meet their trauma and have had wonderful results with Quanta Freedom Healing and NARP.

      To me all dysfunction is trauma based, the real question is ‘are you going to take full 100 percent responsibility to meet it, release it and make space for healing?’

      Those with NPD struggle to do that.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  35. Your work, and now collaboration with Christiane, is so important to help those of us who never had the words to describe ourselves (empath, intuit. angel) and had fallen into narcissistic relationships and the resultant suffering… (for me, one long-term, and one short-term)
    You are a light in the darkness, and now that I am True Source, I feel, know, sense that I could have only healed by doing my own inner work, with the tools you developed to help me heal myself into wholeness!
    Thank you for the work you do, and your lightness!
    much peace and love

    Reply

  36. Melanie and Christane,
    thank you so much for for all the insights and details you brought up. many of the clearified situations I have seen. Now I understand better why they happened.It also verifies why not to get involved in situations like that another time. Let it go and let me grow!
    Thank you for all your work!

    Reply

    1. Hi Wenche,

      You are very welcome and I’m so pleased this interview has provided clarity.

      That’s so great you want to let the trauma go so that you grow.

      Many blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  37. Melanie and Christiane,

    Thank you very much for presenting this interview. It amazes me how similar stories are when discussing narcissistic abuse. I continue to wonder why I stayed so long, and how do I come to terms with this?

    Reply

  38. OH MY….I needed to hear this – I became a shell of who I was in a 33 year marriage and my life was hell, and I thought when he left I was going to die…only to realize a year plus later that I am out of a narcissistic relationship and when I finally quit taking care of me he walked out. Now I am feeling amazing and in touch with my higher power and loving life – can’t wait to read both your books!!! I’m an empath…and feel such amazing love in this world and so happy to begin to understand this!

    Reply

    1. Hi Patsy,

      That’s great this interview resonated with you, and how wonderful you are connecting to you, your happiness and your True Life.

      Wishing you incredible blessings and Thriving.

      Lots of love.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  39. Hi Melanie, I found your website over a year ago after the most painful breakup of my life. I thought I was recovered, but I still find myself missing him deeply. This video was slightly triggering because I feel like I was both the empath and energy vampire. I show traits of Borderline Personality Disorder and have been doing EMDR weekly. I am single and have just started dating again, and feel well and can simply go out any enjoy the company of another without needing them to complete me, or rushing into a relationship.

    Are you able to speak to Borderline Personality Disorder at all? I’ve read a few articles about how Borderlines and Narcissists often end up together, but the Borderline has a better chance of healing because they’ll acknowledge their shortcomings where the narcissist won’t.

    Reply

    1. Hi Lynn,

      This is great that you have come so far and can feel healthier and more whole in your body and not rush things.

      I totally believe that people with Borderline people can take responsibility be humble and heal. We have had many in the Community who have healed significantly with the NARP Program, once having resolved the trauma generating the Borderline symptoms.

      I hope that helps and wishing you continued breakthrough and healing.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

  40. Great interview. I am glad you connected with her. The part about not yet connecting with the new tribe really resonated with me. I have always seemed to feel out of place, misunderstood, unsafe around some people and a little insecure for one reason or another. Now that I think about it, I think often my feelings do depend on who I am with. I have noticed that do I pick up on energy when I enter a room and I do pay attention to body language and facial expressions and I will be paying much more attention now.

    Maybe I am not as healthy as I think I am, maybe its the company I keep at times and not me after all or both. Hmm.

    I think it would be nice to have safe people to connect with here in my area where we can spend time together. Maybe there is someone in So Cal that would like to start a group. Is this allowed? Love you MTE.
    Toster

    Reply

    1. Hi Toster,

      I’m so pleased you enjoyed this interview!

      Our tribe is so important Toster, especially after n-abuse, because unless you have experienced it, you could not possibly understand it.

      Have you considered NARP not only to heal the trauma and how as rematch’s we have been controlled by other people’s energy … but also to connect to a worldwide community of Thrivers?

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      This is the most incredible family of angels you could imagine! There are thousands or us who congregate on-line on the NARP Private Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member and many of us have also met in person.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      Reply

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