Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Separate Your Identity From A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 4
40
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Naturally, when we realise that we have been narcissistically abused, it’s normal to identify ourselves with it so closely that we are living and breathing “narcissism”.

It’s like living smack bang in the center of a horror show.

And … we can be forgiven for thinking that this deep identification with a narcissist is what we should be doing in order to grasp what has happened to us.

However, this is exactly what this episode is about … how the very things we think can help sometimes are making matters worse … and how until we “go Quantum” we don’t realise it!

True Healing can never happen when we make our life all about “them” – spending extended time focusing on the narcissist, who they are, what they did and why they did it.

Rather, what is necessary to take our power back and change our life experience, is to change the only Being we can change … ourselves.

Plus … there is another even more insidious way, unknowingly, that we can enmesh our identity with a narcissist.

And … it makes our end goal – detoxing the narcissist from every part of our Being and healing our traumas back to wholeness – downright impossible.

I used to do it, and so many people struggling with recovery OFTEN make this very simple mistake that seems so innocent, yet has such far-reaching consequences.

Please know I understand WHY, because it is NOT an obvious one … that is until you understand what is required to heal at a deep subconscious level, and what is really going on when we are still “identity attached” to a narcissist.

If you have been battling with your recovery from narcissistic abuse, I highly recommend that you watch this episode, because it may just offer you this SIMPLE shift which is required to start detaching, recovering and becoming able to heal for real.

I promise you with all my heart, that when you make the decision to never repeat those two words again (you will learn about them in this episode) you ARE on your way to truly healing and empowering yourself!

I am so looking forward to the conversation here and answering your comments and questions …

And … if you are ALREADY aware of this and have changed “what you say” then please share the difference it has made in your life below!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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40 Thoughts on How To Separate Your Identity From A Narcissist
  • Rpatchett66@gmail.com'
    HappyGirl
    April 28, 2017

    Thank you for reinforcing the pathology that was never mine in order to reinforce my spirit/soul strength. I could not have given what I did had I not been the divine soul I am who came to earth in this life to show love. Yes, it is lonely, but it was in my courage to incarnate here. Xxoo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Happy Girl,

      you are very welcome 🙂

      Bless!

      When we anchor into True Love for Self, the Love we grant and share can be Unity Consciousness. No longer does it feel like loneliness and separation.

      Mel xo

  • leyna.brigatti1968@gmail.com'
    Leyna
    April 28, 2017

    OMG Melanie. I haven’t finished my NARP process yet, but I’m well on the way. And before I got to any of this on your work I felt I needed to change the language in this way too and have done it for a few months now. No longer “my XN” is used in my sentences, I was very aware that when I said that I felt like I was telling a lie, so I stopped and started using “THE XN” There was nothing mine in that relationship with the XN except for my own feelings which is hard to come to terms with in the sense that it was true for me but I know now were never true for the XN. I started to instantly feel better and less connected to that part of my life once I started using THE XN and it’s only growing, I think less and less about him and when the XN comes to my mind I just say delete, delete, delete and say a thank you to myself for having the courage to get out of that situation which I’m sure you all know was very confusing, painful and debilitating. It’s helped me to detach in a way that I can’t really describe but felt very liberating. Thank you so much for the work you do and please keep sharing these little gems, they are invaluable and a great and welcome help on our recovery. Lots of love xoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Leyna,

      That is so great that you are on your way!

      I love that you have changed your language … and everything that you have written about this.

      You are very welcome Leyna.

      Mel xo

      • Juldon53@gmail.com'
        Julia
        July 1, 2017

        Before I learned about narcist abuse and understood what narcissism was about I was going to counseling for domestic violence. The group was using the term “my abuser”.
        I didn’t like saying “my abuser” from the get go. I didn’t want an abuser! I didn’t want to be with an abuser! I was looking for help. It was very confusing because I was trying to figure out why this relation ship was not working. That no matter what I did or didn’t do the abuser narc was never happy within the self and when I was happy he tried to pull me down. Iwas going to al anon meetings for years because the narc was a “recovering alcoholic. Or so I thought, and the al anon program did help a lot. It was suggested I take the focus off the alcoholic and put it on myself , to not be a doormat, etc. now I realize the domestic violence awareness groups were doing the best they could at the time. As well as al anon but that focus was on alcoholism and I had to keep searching for help. I am now three years steppe rated from the narc abuser and going ahead with the divorce I have worked hard to break free from this mess Thank you for the help you share Melanie I want to be happy again I realize I am a caregiver and have to give myself the same love and care I was so willing to give to the n
        Love julia

  • Pamela_Duncan@yahoo.com'
    Pamela
    April 28, 2017

    I’m new to this way of thinking and I believe that I’m grasping hold of it. I was in an abusive marriage for years and couldn’t put my finger how and why it went that way. I left that life and went directly to another and found myself in a nightmare. When I left the 2nd relationship I was totally lost and have been for the past 6 years. I understand now what happened to me. I have revealed to my self the role I played in the situations and taken the responsibility of it. I no longer see myself as a victim. After reconciling with it.. I already feel better. Looking forward to more healing and progress.

    There is hope!
    Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Pamela,

      How wonderful you are in your power centre – you – and looking forward to recovery!

      You are SO on your way!

      Mel xo

  • claytonruth@rocketmail.com'
    Ruth
    April 28, 2017

    I have been learning so much lately about the ‘all good’ ‘all bad’ split. I have commonly related to my exes as the bad narcs, and I am the good empath who just wants to love.This is a rather 2 dimensional, child like view. This has been deeply transforming. I needed to own all my parts, the good and bad, to reintegrate them, in order to stop projecting them on the narcs. I needed the narc to carry my shadow in a way. This is what it means to be a whole person – a person who holds all my parts together in one whole, to see, to own, to accept all the parts with compassion, because we are a mixed bag. I also think a big area of vulnerability that relates to identity is found in our sexuality which is deeply affected. We can also project goodness on to unsafe people, for fear of abandonment or what ever else may be there. The point is, the narc dance kept me busy and away from owning all of me. I am learning that only in owning all of me, will I find a partner who is likewise, a whole person too. I don’t need a partner to complete me. A real relationship is two wholes not two halves.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Ruth,

      oh gosh so true.

      If we don’t embrace and heal our shadow, it will eternally haunt us!

      Mel xo

  • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
    Cassie Dey
    April 28, 2017

    Hi Melanie,
    Yay!!!! you used the artichoke analogy!!!!
    I actually ate an artichoke tonight!!!!! For real hahaha.. The heart was ever so scrumptious after the lovely yet sometimes challenging process of peeling back the leaves! (that’s the NARP part)
    Thank you for this episode and bringing me right smack back to the basics. I feel that although I have been working on my healing journey for quite a while and I have made some really big strides this episode was a fabulous nudge from you. Your message to stop even the smallest of focus on the Narc and to severe all enmeshment language and attitudes was timely for me. (I finally got him moved out last week!)

    Your work continues to be inspiring and new and fresh and meaningful each and every time you present a topic. You and your work (and your nails) are amazing!!!!
    Soooooooooo Much love and GRATITUDE beyond imagination to you,

    Cassie Dey

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      HI Cassie,

      I adore receiving your messages …. they are so full of joy and bounce!

      Wow re the artichoke …. HAHA!!!! Love it!

      Cassie, big kudos to you for moving him out – you are a true Thriver and inspiration!

      Honey you are so welcome, and thanks sweetheart for giving me such heart warmth, and spreading your love!

      Mel xo

  • emxx@sbcglobal.net'
    Enough
    April 28, 2017

    great idea to leave out the “my” in this.

    • gwrightdesign@gmail.com'
      Gail R Wright
      April 28, 2017

      At the time the relationship was nearing it’s bitter end I referred to him as The Asshole, still do.
      I feel it’s a fitting definition considering all the crap he’s spread and of course continues to do to other unsuspecting women and followers.

      • tuuliturtola@hotmail.com'
        T.E.
        April 28, 2017

        Hi Gail and Melanie,

        I used the word wereworf… 🙂 It says it all…in “human form” he was ok, but obviously he couldn’t control this involuntary transformation to “non human” form.
        Sometimes I say “my ex”. Maybe I shouldn’t? But I think the word “ex” is quite good, it refers to something that is in the PAST! He will always be part of MY life’s history, would should I even try to deny that fact, I can’t un-do the past! Because of him (he made me face my “wounds”), I have even become much more conscious and stronger person, and I can gladly “own” that fact!
        Sometimes I think, what would I say if I happen to occasionally run into him somewhere (after long time of no contact)? I think I would have NOTHING to say. I’m not angry, not resenting him, I feel nothing…so actually I have nothing to say! Maybe this is a sign on recovery? 🙂

        • roma4amor@gmail.com'
          Deanna
          May 1, 2017

          Hi T.E.,
          Absolutely LOVE the werewolf metaphor! It definitely nails the concept that there are times when the narc appears “ok” (ie. the hook-which is what makes all this so confusing) and then there are times when they “come in for the kill” and we are left going, “WTF!?!?!?! What just happened!?!??!?!”. And of course the narc thinks that he/she is SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON and will be the FIRST one to tell you no in no uncertain terms. Thus until we do the work and get some clarity, we think that it is US, not THEM that is the problem.
          I get it that it is our traumas that leave us vulnerable to “the hook” but I still separate the behaviors and responsibilities that are mine from those behaviors and responsibilites that are NOT MINE.

          T.E.,
          IMHO, I think that your neutrality IS a sign of recovery. I think dissolving the hook is exactly what we are all striving for.

          All the best to you! Thanks for sharing your insights 🙂

          Deanna

          • tuuliturtola@hotmail.com'
            T.E.
            May 1, 2017

            Hi Deanna,
            Thank you for support and understanding! <3 It is always a good feeling to know that I'm not alone in this craziness!
            Like probably we all here, I sincerely loved him. But now when time has passed, even that pain starts to ease. You are right…Sometimes he was so wonderful, like an every woman's dream. For example, when I had period and lot of tummy pain, he even called me from work to ask how I am feeling and was concerned about my well-being and very caring. And then sometimes, he was totally "non human", I couldn't get any connection to him, he couldn't understand any normal human talk or logic…and I was like, where did the wonderful man disappeared?! Yes…it is the most confusing feeling ever!

            What is hard for me, I never want to talk bad about about anyone, I always think "who am I to judge anyone?", I always wanted to see good in everyone and thought that every human being is valuable just as they are. But with N's…I don't know what to think! Well…instead of talking bad about him or label him as "bad"…it helps me, to remind myself what he is: mentally ill.

            But I'm fine nowadays…I now see the time with him, something like being in high school…somewhere where I was but I am not anymore. My maturity and consciousness back then was in that level what it was, that was that "phase" in my life…

            But things are getting better! 🙂

            All the best to you too! 🙂

  • roosandrea@aol.com'
    Dea
    April 28, 2017

    When I met the N in the street waiting at a traffic light, he on the opposite side waiting I was catched cold and could do nothing else but turning around and “fleeing”when I recognized him and saw the false self grinning in my face (I have been out of that relationship for more than 4 years!). I felt bad about myself for not being sovereign enough to just walk by. Was hard to recognize that I am still full of negative feelings towards him. Hope that I will be able to get out of that paralysed state of emotions eventually and regain my power and not beating myself up constantly.
    Thanks a lot for all your insight and inspiration to get back the lost parts of the self and valuing and respecting what we feel and know deep inside.

    • cheryl.hercus@optusnet.com.au'
      Cheryl
      April 28, 2017

      Dea, I don’t know whether you are doing the NARP modules or not, but I can highly recommend them.

      One of my problems has been that the in N in my life has a close friend who is also an N, one who from my perspective is more deliberately manipulative, and whom I have always felt was resentful towards me as I was competition for her loyal and reliable source of narcissistic supply. From the beginning of my relationship with the N I have felt intimidated by the N friend. Whenever she was around I was put on the back burner. Last week when I was feeling particularly triggered around these issues I did one of the modules and worked through my feelings of being afraid of her. What was remarkable is that I woke up in the morning in the middle of a dream where I had accidentally encountered her, a bit like you seeing the N at the traffic lights. In the dream I felt strong and powerful as if she could do nothing to hurt me. I know longer need the N in my life, so she can no longer hurt me by poisoning the N against me. In the dream, the N friend saw me and scuttled off. I can only put this down to the healing I experienced from doing the module, and it working away overnight on my subconscious. So, if by chance you are not yet doing the NARP modules, I am sure you would find them really helpful .

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Dea,

      please know that when we have healed those parts within, that the narcissist used to smash and hurt, we are freed from any emotion for them at all.

      Also – as a result – we get to go forth into out life with those parts being and generating wholeness in our Life.

      You are very welcome Dea.

      Mel xo

  • cheryl.hercus@optusnet.com.au'
    Cheryl
    April 28, 2017

    As has so often happened lately, this episode of Thriver TV has come at just the right time for me. I am still living in the same house as the N who has been part of my life for the past 11 years. Early in March a psychologist told me that I needed to leave ASAP, and to have a friend with me while I packed my things and left. I was so distressed that I’m not surprised that she suggested this. However, instead of leaving I downloaded the NARP program and started doing the modules. I had been viewing Thriver TV episodes on YouTube for some weeks, but the modules really helped me to heal.
    Following a few weeks away from home, I came back and requested that my ex move into the guest room, reversing a situation that had occurred in October and November 2016 when I moved into the guest room. I have not been in the paid workforce for five years but decided that I needed an independent income in addition to a small superannuation pension I receive. I was not optimistic and started looking for casual work. However, A job that I would really like, and that I was qualified for, grabbed my attention. Just at that point in time Melanie uploaded an episode titled “am I too old to recover?” This provided me with the boost I needed to go for it anyway. And lo and behold, some weeks later I am now starting work next week in a job that I am really looking forward to.
    The N is away overnight for work and today in the spirit of cooperation I took her elderly dog to the vet. The dog is on its last legs, and today there have been phone calls and text messages between the vet, the N and myself about further treatments. I asked her to call me to talk about what she wanted me to do tomorrow because it is her dog and decisions about treatment are not mine to make. As has been the pattern for the past 10 years, what should have been an adult conversation ended up with me being shouted at aggressively. In the past I would have become quite upset by this. Through doing the NARP modules and then tonight watching this excellent episode I have been able to put this aside, see her anxiety as her problem, not mine and to maintain my integrity. It reminds me of a thought that I had the other day when I was thinking about forgiveness and truly moving on: “I am the lucky one. I no longer have to live with the N, but she has to live with herself for the rest of her life”. I still wish for her that she will come to understand that, will take responsibility and uplevel and self partner, but I no longer see that as something that I need her to do, or that I can do for her, or convince her to do. It is so wonderful to be able to observe, not absorb.

    To be able to see a very bright future for myself and to get past worrying about being too old (62) to build a full, new life for myself.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Cheryl,

      I am so pleased you have been working with NARP and healing and have taken your power back, and how wonderful that the episode inspired you, you have done the work in your Inner Being with NARP and now created this job!

      I am so thrilled for you as I am reading this!

      Cheryl you are gorgeous and doing so well!!!!

      Yay to you and your True Self and Life!!

      Mel xo

  • Shelley.m.wooley@gmail.com'
    Shel
    April 29, 2017

    I have been completely discarded by the narcissist I was with for 7 years, he left me with nothing. It is me that is going crazy, he couldn’t care less if I contact him. I am obsessing over him constantly the intrusive thoughts are making it almost impossible to focus at work, home etc… The pain is unbearable, I don’t know what to do. He cheated and is happier with the new girl than he could ever have been with me. I think he has changed and has his narcissistic tendencies under control, which makes me feel so much worse. Maybe it is me, maybe I am the one who is totally at fault. What is wrong with me that he wasn’t willing to show up for me the way he is showing up for her. I feel panicked and anxious all the time, I can’t eat and barely sleep, I have lost about 15 pounds and I think maybe my mind…. This has been going on for almost 2 months now and if something doesn’t change very soon, I don’t know what I will do.

    Please help!

    • john.andrews163@gmail.com'
      john
      April 29, 2017

      “He cheated and is happier with the new girl than he could ever have been with me. I think he has changed and has his narcissistic tendencies under control, which makes me feel so much worse”

      Shel, there are 2 things here in this statement that you should know. Firstly the narcissist will of course hide his tendencies with his new girl friend- this is classic Narc behavour – so the idea that she is in some way better for him than you should be discarded.

      Secondly you are betraying severe self doubt – it doesn’t matter whether he is happier with the other girl – this is no reflection on you. Remember you are what you are – there is no doubt in this.

    • tuuliturtola@hotmail.com'
      T.E.
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Shel,
      I became inspired to answer to you! Maybe Melanie can give you a better answer…But I am pretty sure he is not “happier with the new girl”! So put your mind to rest, you do not need to torture yourself with this thought, because it is only an illusion. Sure it might appear that he is happier now, but this is just the “phase one” that a N do to “secure narcissistic supply”.
      “He has his narcissistic tendencies under control”…no darling, no! He is a master actor, that’s the way it is.
      I do symphatize with you, because I can recongnize in you the “old me”, how I used to be. Three years extreme obsesssion because of the N and all kinds of maniac, compulsive behaviour, just plain suffering. Until I started to do the inner healing work. There is nothing “wrong” with us, we are just “wounded”. I found when I did the healing work, inside of me, an abandoned child, a very angry teenager and a very angry father! (I am now 40 years old) Of course this sounds bizarre, but it is what it is…sort of like energetic residue. That is the root of suffering, not “this man”.
      And now…nothing to do with the N anymore, no feelings, no obsession and anxiety whatsoever at all.
      It’s a process, takes time and effort…but you can do this too! You will be well! <3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Shel,

      My heart goes out to you in this pain – as so many of us have felt and know …. and empathise with you.

      Please Shel know there is a way through. I’d like to offer you my free resources Shel here http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarter package and also please come into my free workshop. http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar … these resources can help you so much.

      Mel xo

  • Romesofteyes@gmail.com'
    Laur
    April 29, 2017

    Thank you Melanie for this video. The narc (ex) in the OLD life is a public official that hides behind his mask still to this day. It’s been a long hard road to my NEW narc free life now, but this step I did while still living with the narc, along with what I call reverse argue talk, example … He says/rages ” wow, I can’t believe with your college degree you could be so stupid” I reversed it to ” wow, You can’t believe with my college degree I could be so smart” …. I found that this was a way to hear his truthful language and cope some until I could divorce this awful abusive (yes in all ways) person now known as “Butthead”! Any thoughts on people that confront those of us that are narc free now and they tell us how “stupid” we are for leaving the narc? This is a new area for me to navigate… Thanks again😊

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2017

      Hi Laur,

      you are welcome 🙂

      I always truly take the triggers from the outside as the evidence of something I need to heal on the inside.

      My path with something like that would be to track inwards and find, load up and release the inner traumas being triggered (NARP Module work).

      Then one of three things will happen – these experiences will simply leave your experience, or you will not be triggered, graduate and then they just don’t happen again – because it is “nothing” to you, or you will be able to really healthily state you truth without having to justify anything or feeling attacked.

      The navigation is always on the inside – these people are only A.I.D.S. bringing the evidence of what we need to heal.

      Mel xo

  • pietere7@gmail.com'
    Pieter Engelbrecht
    April 29, 2017

    Hello, Melanie. My experience when I was not separated (that we have a distance between us – stay still with wife – narsist) there was a controlling band. When I start to kept her on a distance it is more if she does her thing and I do mine.

  • andymaycen@me.com'
    Andy Maycen
    April 30, 2017

    I walked after 21 years of narc abuse. I lost everything…I have been homeless, living out of my car until it broke down and then couldn’t get to work…then I really lost everything. I was on TV and have 2 prestigious awards…how could this happen to me? (Me getting validation from the outside) I went from a beautiful home, supposed great friends and lots of stuff to a suitcase of what was left of my life. Every single friend took his side. I am absolutely thrilled this happened to me now. The car (me) is still in the garage getting worked on, but it’s gonna be Awesum when it hits the highway. It forced me (with the help of your videos) to get down to a couple of internalized core beliefs…and really bad ones from childhood that my narc then also used…”You’re too sensitive, you’ll never amount to anything”. Actually what I believe today is that I am sensitive. It is the most wonderful gift I could have. Today, I am painting again! I am singing again. I have my days where I slip into self loathing but today I know (thanx to me and your work) that I love me. I’m a decent guy, no better or worse than anyone. I have a wonderful life ahead of me

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 2, 2017

      Hi Pieter and Andy,

      wishing you both continued healing, and a wonderful future for both of you.

      Mel xo

  • roma4amor@gmail.com'
    Deanna Johnston
    April 30, 2017

    Hi Mel!
    This new video is GREAT. Ironically it appeared just as I was thinking this same kind of thing but I didn’t have a way to articulate it well. As usual, you explain things SO WELL. My new reality is SO MUCH better than my previous reality but I found that I was still defining myself by what had happened TO me which was essentially being abused by narcissists and other screwed up people.
    I am using the Quanta Freedom Healing modules plus following your videos and radio shows. This is probably why I even started to become aware of in the first place that I was unduly and unnecessarily keeping myself connected to these past scenarios. Everyone else involved has already moved on to other things (targets) b/c that’s what narcissists do. I realized that I was the only one perpetuating these memories. Then your video showed up in my inbox. THANK YOU.
    Just the title alone, gave me a tremendous amount of insight. I had to go to work so I couldn’t take even the eight minutes to watch the video. But during the day, I would come back to the concept that I don’t have to continue to IDENTIFY with the narcissist and the junk from the abuse.
    I find that breaking things down into what is mine and what is NOT mine, helps me tremendously to discern what I am responsible/accountable for and what I am not responsible/accountable for. And I am NOT responsible for the narcissists’ behavior. If the narcissist was cruel and unethical, it doesn’t mean that I am the one who “failed”. I refuse to take on any responsibility for the narcissists’ behavior, nor carry it around as baggage.
    Then I watched your video and got an even clearer understanding about how to NOT identify with the narcissist and SHED any connection to them.
    [So within, so without.]
    I LOVE LOVE LOVE your artichoke analogy!!!! I am CRAZY about artichokes so it ABSOLUTELY TICKLED ME when you said what you said!
    In addition to continuing with the QFH modules, my new mantra/affirmation is this:
    I am capable, loveable and good enough to be a healthy source of love, approval, security and survival to myself.
    With much appreciation,
    Deanna

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 2, 2017

      Hi Deanna,

      Thank you and I am glad that you enjoyed it.

      How lovely that you are detaching and getting so clear.

      You are doing so well Deanna, I love your healing orientation and mantra, and so glad you lovely the artichoke analogy!

      Keep up the beautiful work and thank you for your post. 🙂

      Mel xo

    • amanda.texagal@gmail.com'
      amanda bordenave
      May 31, 2017

      Love your Mantra! – Im new to narp, I will be taping this to my fridge. What is mine and what is NOT mine- thats so helpful, as I am just waking up-something clicked and I am gonna think about this today. Thankyou for posting Wise Deanna Have a nice day !

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    May 1, 2017

    Yes, I will erase -my ex bf- from my vocabulary. Great idea.

  • nina.stahl26@gmail.com'
    Nina
    May 2, 2017

    I am still frightened, my head is clearer but I feel I have lost my identity. Who am I now. Have been in such a head mess not knowing what who the problem was out of three people.

    Right now I can’t decide what to do. If I listen more to the abuse videos yes it’s them but it’s us, me.

    I don’t want to feel so alone as I’ve rejected every bit if help I was given because I was never allowed to have friends.

    It’s me, who is making all the mistakes. Issue ing makes me feel I was totally misguided. I made the mistakes I am to blame. I

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 2, 2017

      Hi Nina,

      I really want to reach out to you in this painful and confusing time to help you unravel it all in a way that will start to bring you more peace and healing … by suggesting My New Life Starter Package which is all free and will lead you through this in the Thriver Way – step by step – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage

      Sending you healing and I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • ntlewis@law.co.za'
    Nicole Lewis
    May 6, 2017

    So the thing I’m struggling with is this: how in the moment do you bring it back to you? When feelings of anger, hurt etc set in, or you start thinking about the N – what they did, what are they doing now etc how do you immediately bring it back to you and your healing it, without stopping to do full module/meditation.

  • Halfirishmomma@hotmail.com'
    Theresa
    July 12, 2017

    Wow. I had searched for some comfort on line to understand why I felt broken and hollow after the breakup with narssistist. Thankfully for me I was in a long distance relationship where we seen one another on weekends. I truly believe this is what saved me. Your articles and Thriver clips truly opened my heart to understanding what I had fallen into and realize now that it’s not me. A guardian angle had been carrying me through his insanity. Thank you for what you do and the education you provide.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 12, 2017

      Hi Theresa,

      I am so pleased you have found my information and it is has helped you Dear Lady!

      You are so very welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

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