Poetry certainly isn’t my normal thing, but this just came to me the other night while I was in bed.
The urge was so strong to write, I just had to turn on the light, pull out a pen and the words flowed out in minutes!
I know I was taking dictation from a much Higher Source than myself…This came at the perfect time – because I’ve been very busy preparing for the first Webinar this week, so I thought instead of writing an article I would share this poem with you…
I hope you enjoy 🙂
I Take Back My Power From You
At first agonisingly, but it take it back all the same
I have know for some time you are not the healer of my wounds but the messenger instead
Your terminal unconsciousness was sufficient
To activate my own
Because of you I was cracked open
My wounds rushed to the surface and spewed out of me
Then I opened as a huge gaping hole
And was filled with Light
I take back my power from you
I have woken up from my trance
I now know truths I never knew before
A power I could barely touch now glows and grows within me
Because of you I am connected to the Divine and transcending all I believed was possible
I am filled with more joy and love than I knew existed
I take back my power from you
You never were my source of Life
I now know Who I was always meant to be
I understand the purpose and gift of Life
I take my power back from you
Your involvement in my journey is complete
Your ego may scorn that I am now filled with Light
Yet your disowned soul rejoices in Oneness, love and a job well done
I take back my power from you
You granted me the most loving gift any soul could
You catapulted me home to myself
Don’t mistake me
That does not make your personality special
This took place at the level of souls
Thank you for playing your part as was always intended
I take back my power from you…and
Because of your help, Dear Soul, I am free
Thank you very much for sharing this Melanie.
Wow, thank you Melanie as I read your poem, it really touched every bit of me and my soul ,I take back the power from you, I see the light and I am free..
Omg!!! I so do believe he was put there for me to start overcoming the sexual abuse I had suffered as an 8 n 9 year old. Once he was around his brother everyday I began to see all of his hatefulness like I never had. We were together 19 years. God had tried to show me other times but I didn’t listen. I have lost my 30 year old daughter because of his conniving and lying. I have been listening to you for about 3 months now. I must say I have begun to love soooo much that I hated a year ago. Thank you!!!! I am a beautiful woman , thanks to your love of educating us against them. Much love to you.
Thank you so much for these words of healing and wisdom. Today marks a year I left my spouse because of abuse. I celebrate today I have regained myself, my power, my voice and my joy.
I AM CURRENTLY DEALING WITH SOME NEW PAIN, BEYOND THE NARC I WAS MARRIED TO FOR 22 YRS. IT IS SAID THAT YOU WILL FIND OUT WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE AND WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU GO THRU A MAJOR ILLNESS OR GET A DIVORCE. I HAVE FOUND THIS TO BE SOOOO TRUE. FRIENDS THAT I (WE) HAVE HAD FOR MANY YEARS, HAVE SHOWN NO CONCERN FOR ME AT ALL. NO CALLS, NO VISITS, NOTHING. EXCEPT FOR MY BEST FRIEND. 1 PERSON OUT OF THE APROXIMATE 20 FRIENDS WE HAD. ONE FRIEND ACTUALLY THREATENED THAT IF I OR MY NARC HUSBAND INVOLVED HIM IN ANY WAY, THAT THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY END OUR FRIENDSHIP. I ASSURED THEM THAT I WOULD NOT. I ALSO MADE IT CLEAR THAT I EXPECTED THEM TO STAY FRIENDS WITH MY HUSBAND. THAT I WOULD NEVER ASK PEOPLE TO CHOOSE.UNFORTUNATELY, MY HUSBAND, I GUESS, CONVINCED THEM I WOULD. HE WENT TO VISIT MY HUSBAND AND TOLD HIM EXACTLY WHAT I HAD SAID TO THIS “FRIEND”, WORD FOR WORD. SO OF COURSE THE NARC HAD TO LET ME KNOW. ASKING ME WHY I WAS CALLING OUR FRIENDS TELLING THEM TO CHOOSE SIDES. THIS IS ALL TOO IRONIC, CONSIDERING THAT MY NARC HUSBAND IS THE ONE WHOS BEEN CALLING FRIENDS TO TRASH ME! SOME THAT HE HASN’T EVEN SPOKEN TO IN YEARS, JUST TO TRASH ME AND TO CATFISH. ASKING THEM ABOUT ANYTHING I MAY HAVE SAID OR REVEALED ABOUT US, TO THEM. THEN HE WOULD TEXT ME, SAYING THAT THEY HAD TOLD HIM THINGS ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS. IS THIS SOME OF THE GASLIGHTING AND MIRRORING YOU TALK ABOUT? I THINGK SO. HE WANTED TO TO FALL FOR THE BAIT, GET MAD, CONTACT HIM IN ORDER TO DEFEND MYSELF. I FOUND THAT I INSTANTLY SAW THIS FOR WHAT IT WAS. I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HOLD MY TONGUE, MY ANGER AND RESENTMENT, HAD I NOT BEEN READING YOUR SITE AND TRYING TO WORK ON MYSELF. BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, I DID HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT SOME OF THESE “FRIENDS”, REALLY WEREN’T MY FREINDS. THEY COOPERATED WITH HIM, IN SPITE OF CLAIMING TO NOT WANT TO BE INVOLVED. HE HAS PEOPLE SO CONVINCED THAT HE IS A GOOD GUY AND GETS THEM TO FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. THE MALE FRIEND THAT THREATENED TO END MINE AND HIS FRIENDSHIP IF INVOLVED, IS THE SAME FRIEND THAT I SAT WITH ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS AFTER HIS WIFE (MY BEST FRIEND AT THE TIME) HAD PASSED FROM TERMINAL ILLNESS. I LISTENED, CARED AND CRIED WITH HIM. THIS SAME GUY, TOLD ME A FEW TIMES, THAT THE ONLY REASON HE STILL VISITED WAS BECAUSE OF MY FRIENDSHIP. THAT HE KNEW HOW MY NARC REALLY WAS. HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT IF I WASN’T MARRIED, THAT HE WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH ME. I NEVER TOLD MY NARC HUSBAND THIS BECAUSE THIS GUY IS THE ONLY “FRIEND” WHO STILL HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM AND I ALSO KNEW IT WOULD CREATE A HUGE PROBLEM OVER SOMETHING THAT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, THIS FRIEND AND I BEING TOGETHER. LOOK WHAT I GET IN RETURN. ONE FEMALE FRIEND HE CALLED AFTER YEARS OF NO CONTACT COOPERATED WITH THE NARC TOO. IT WAS THE FRIEND THAT I CALLED, VISITED AND TOOK OUT FOR LUNCH FOR YEARS AFTER HER HUSBAND DIED. SHE HAS NOT SPOKEN TO MY HUSBAND IN 5 YEARS. BUT SHE DID LAST WEEK, REVEALING THINGS THAT I HAD SAID TO HER CONCERNING OUR MARRIAGE. MY NARC HUSBAND JUST LOVES THIS. THE OTHER DAY I GOT A GARDENIA PLANT FROM HIM FOR VALENTINES DAY. IT WAS OUR WEDDING FLOWER AND MY FAVORITE. HE KNEW THIS WOULD GET TO ME AND IT DID FOR JUST A MOMENT. I CONSIDERED TAKING IT TO WHERE HE LIVES, CHOPPING IT UP AND TOSSING IT ON HIS DOORSTEP. BUT AGAIN, I REMEMBERED WHAT I READ ON MELANIE’S POST ABOUT THE MIND GAMES. THAT AS LONG AS HE KNOWS IT GET TO YOU, HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT. I DID ENACT THE ABSOLUTE NO-CONTACT MELANIE TALKS ABOUT AND SHE’S RIGHT. I USE THE TERM “INCIDIOUS” TO DESCRIBE HIM. IT FITS. EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS “FAIR GAME” IN HIS MIND. USING OUR “FRIENDS” IS JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HIM HAVING NO MORAL CHARACTER AND HIS LACK OF CONCERN FOR THEM. PAWNS & PUPPETS IN THIS GAME TO GET ME. I, OF COURSE, DIDN’T CONTACT OUR FRIENDS TO WARN THEM TAH THEY WERE BEING USED. ALREADY KNEW WHAT WOULD BE SAID OF ME , IF I DID IT. I WOULD BE THE MANIPULATER, THE GAME PLAYER, THE LIAR. SO I SAID NOTHING TO THEM ALL. AND DECIDED TO HAVE A NO-CONTACT POLICY WITH THEM AS WELL. NOT MUCH CHOICE, KNOWING THAT THEY WOULD BE CATFISHING ME TO GIVE THE NARC WHAT HE WANTS AND NEEDS, ALL TO MY DETRIMENT. IT IS VERY SAD TO ME THOUGH, NOT ONLY THAT I HAVE LOST THESE “FRIENDS” BUT ALSO BECAUSE I KNOW HE DOESN’T GIVE A D… ABOUT THEM EITHER, THEY JUST DON’T KNOW IT AND ARE BEING USED. BUT TO TRY & HELP THEM, WOULD ONLY HURT ME. SO FOR THE 1ST TIME IN A LONG TIME, I PUT MYSELF FIRST. CONSIDERED WHAT IT WOULD PUT ME THRU, NOT WHAT THEY MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH. THIS IS ONE OF MY ISSUES, I AM A PEOPLE PLEASER, ESPECIALLY IF I LOVE/CARE FOR SOMEONE. IT HAS MATTERED TOO MUCH TO ME FOR MOST OF MY LIFE. AS LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE IS HAPPY, I WILL SOMEHOW BE FILLED UP BY THAT AND BE HAPPY TOO. LET ME TELL YOU PEOPLE….THIS…DOES…NOT…WORK. YOU INEVETABLY END UP EMPTY BECAUSE NO…ONE…ELSE…IS WORRIED ABOUT YOU IN THAT SAME WAY AND TO THAT SAME EXTENT,….IF AT ALL. UNFORTUNATELY, IT HAS INCREASED THE PREVAILING THOUGHTS THAT …..I CAN TRUST NO ONE AND MOST OF ALL MEN. I ALREADY KNOW THAT THIS ISSUE IS GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME TO RESOLVE. I READ, IF A DOG KEEPS BITING YOU EVERYTIME YOU TRY TO PET OR LOVE IT, SOONER OR LATER, YOU JUST HAVE TO QUIT PETTING THAT DOG. EXPECTING IT TO RETURN THE LOVE IT NEVER HAD FOR YOU IN THE 1ST PLACE, IS BY ALL MEANS A DISILLUSIONING AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE KIND OF LOVE THAT JUST LEAVES YOU EMPTY…….AND SCARED OF ALL DOGS. IT’S ALSO, I BELIEVE, ANOTHER DEFINTION OF INSANITY. WHEN YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME THING, BUT EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS. AND FOLKS……THIS PRETTY MUCH DESCRIBES MT 22 YEAR MARRIAGE TO A NARC. I JUST KEPT PETTING THAT D… DOG, THINKING WITH ENOUGH LOVE AND TIME.. THIS IS THE PIPE DREAM THAT I HAVE HAD TO WAKE UP FROM. SO, TODAY I’M TRYING TO LIVE IN THE NOW, THE REALITY, NOT WHAT I WISH WAS REAL, NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE REAL. IT DID TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO NOT JUST SEE HIM FOR WHO HE REALLY IS, OR SHOULD I SAY, WHO HE REALLY ISN’T. EITHER WAY, I DO NOT LIKE THIS PERSON AT ALL AND FIND THAT WE NEVER SHARED THE SAME VALUES, LIFE GOALS, DEDICATION AND COMMITMENT. AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE INFORMED ME IN JULY OF 2019, THAT I WAS A “TRY-ON” WIFE AND THAT HE DIDN’T MEAN THE MARRIAGE VOWS WHEN HE SAID THEM, THEN HE LAUGHED, THINKING IT WAS FUNNY THAT HE DUPPED ME, MADE A FOOL OF ME AND MY TEARS, MY PAIN, MY BEING DEVASTATED BY THAT ADMISSION ON HIS PART. OH YEAH, I WAS ALSO TOLD “GET OVER IT”. THAT WAS HIS GO-TO COMMENT WHENEVER I GOT UPSET FROM HIS CRUELTY. NOW THAT I GOT THE STRENGTH, WITH THE HELP OF GOD, TO FINALLY LEAVE HIM, WITH COUNSELING, PRAYER AND MELANIE’S WORK….I AM TRYING TO BUSY MYSELF WITH……WAIT FOR IT…..”GETTING OVER IT”. I KNOW GOD BROUGHT MELANIE’S SITE TO MY ATTENTION. I HAD NEVER LOOKED UP ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. YOU DO HAVE TO CALM YOURSELF DOWN THOUGH SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THE LIFELINES AND FLOATATION DEVICES WHEN THEY ARE THROWN OUT TO SAVE YOU. I COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY HIT ANOTHER BUTTON ON THIS COMPUTER AND NEVER HAVE SEEN IT. AND HONESTLY, NOT SURE I WOULD STILL BE ALIVE. YES, I HAD BEEN BEATEN DOWN THAT FAR. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE BEFORE I COULD GET OUT AWAY FROM HIM. I LOST 60 LBS IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS AND COULD NO LONGER EAT. AFTER LEAVING, IT STILL TOOK ANOTHER MONTH BEFORE I COULD EAT WHAT ANYONE ELSE WOULD CALL “A MEAL”. I SURVIVED OFF OF YOGURT, COFFEE AND CIGARETTES. STILL DON’T KNOW HOW I DID IT EXCEPT THRU PRAYER. FOR 5 YRS, I PRAYED FOR GOD TO CHANGE HIS HEART AND TRIED TO LOVE HIM HARDER, ALL THE WHILE BEING CRUELY TORTURED. THEN FOR 3 YRS, I PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD GET ME OUT OF THE VOWS THAT I REALLY MEANT. THEN IN THE LAST FEW DAYS THERE, I WAS SOOO SICK, WEAK AND HAVING CHEST PAIN, TO THE POINT, I WAS AFRAID TO FALL ASLEEP, THINKING I WOULDN’T WAKE UP. THEN I PRAYED TO GOD THAT IF HE DID CALL ME, IF I DID DIE, I WAS REALLY OK WITH IT. I SAW IT, MY DEATH, AS BEING A VERY VIABLE “WAY OUT”. I KNEW THAT IF I STAYED, I WAS GOING TO DIE ANYWAY THROUGH MY OWN HAND. GOD PUT IN PLACE A WAY FOR ME TO GET OUT AND BE ENABLED ME TO DO IT COVERTLY. LET ME TELL YA, I HAD TO HAVE HELP WITH THAT. BEING SNEAKY, DECEPTIVE AND MANIPULATIVE IS JUST NOT MY FORTE’, NOT HOW I’M BUILT. IT REALLY TOOK SOME BRAVERY ON MY PART. EVERY TIME I SNUCK SOME OF MY PERSONAL THINGS OUT THAT BACK BEDROOM WINDOW LIKE A THEIF IN THE NIGHT, I JUST PRAYED, GOD, KEEP HIM BLIND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN. KEEP HIM OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME, LIKE ALWAYS. CAN’T BELEIVE THE NEIGHBORS DIDN’T CALL THE POLICE IF THEY SAW ME SNEAK STUFF OUT! LOL!! GOD PROTECTED ME. JUST REMEMBER, YOU HAVE TO ASK.
Thank you Melanie, this resonates so deeply.I take my power back from him. His involvement in my journey is complete, and I am free. Amen
Thank you Melanie I loved it, and it was beautiful. You are awesome for all you do!
Melanie,
Beautifully said.
All souls are one.
bill
Thanks Mel for sharing this wonderful, touching poem. What a journey it’s been!!! I really like this phrase: “your disowned soul rejoices in Oneness, love and a job well done.”
Much love.
XXXXXX
Thank you lovely people 🙂
I am so glad it resonated with you!
Mel xo
I am truly thankful I found u. I am working on myself as we speak and can’t tell u how amazing u have made me feel. A true blessing u are to me and I know orhers. My story like many others is a testament of how I survived for 19 years with a narcissistic abuser. From .16 years of age I suffered along w my 3 children but now I have the tools I need to finally heal thanks to u. Thank u from the bottom of my heart.
Thanku so much Melanie for my 16 day emails and this beautiful poem you gave written, which so resonated with me. You truly are an inspiration to so many who have endured this kind of abuse and, like you, I am thankful that I can see the blessing in the curse.
Hi Sally,
You are so welcome Dear Lady!
You so can and I salute your recovery.
Sending many blessings to you.
Mel 🙏💕❤️
But it does make the narcissisf special, because nobody was able before to tear up our inner sounds so that they could finally heal. Appearantly the narcissisf has out of lack of human skills, out of lack of compassion, the ability to take one apart, whilst the victimised has to rebuild. What is sorry however, is that the narcissisf wont be able to do the same thing. For him or her to go back to their soul and rebuild would b a Total Other deal.
Hi Mere,
absolutely at soul level, there was an incredible ‘specialness’ going on!
Sadly, due to the takeover by the False Self, that is very true for the narcissist.
Mel xo
Lovely poem Mel,sums it all up nicely 🙂
Bless Sandra 🙂
Mel xo
This sounds like someone using another person to find themselves, finding love and what they needed in this other person, and then leaving them and being ungrateful to them as after all they done they weren’t special.
Poetry is a genre that allows for many interpretations and, while I respect your right to have the one you do, I don’t agree with it and feel strongly enough about your remarks to comment.
I am left wondering if you’ve ever had your life turned into broken pieces which YOU must find a way to put back together as a consequence of being in a relationship with a narcissist. Healing one’s self enough to be able to credit her abuser with having a soul at all is a courageous and, frankly, generous message to (theoretically) share with the narcissist. To find value in that relationship, to find worth and to speak it aloud is a credit to the author. Do you understand that what her partner did was not special, unless neglect and cruelty is considered special?
If I have misinterpreted your comment, I sincerely apologize. I would be appreciative if you took the time to respond and help me to understand better what you think the narcissist provided that was intentionally good or giving or loving in any way and, further, why you believe that the person who was on the receiving end of such hurtful treatment is wrong to have dug deep and found value from the experience.
Hi Cheryl,
very tactfully, powerfully and truthfully expressed…
I think no reply is necessary – certain people just don’t think in similiar ways…
Mel xo
Thanks Mel. I agree about no reply being necessary. I responded because I had such a visceral reaction to Filipe’s words that for me to say nothing felt like tacit approval of such misguided thinking. It’s classic “insult on top of injury” stuff. I appreciated your poem. I also appreciated your response to another bit I wrote to you asking if it might be too late for some people (read me). I found your reply tremendously insightful and I’ve not stopped considering it. I understand implicitly that making a programme like yours work requires my commitment and I’ve felt so beaten down by circumstances that I’m not able to trust my best intentions to work hard and stick with it – even though I know it is the only way to heal. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to what you said (I’m making a leap here in assuming you can even remember who I am; you help so many people.) I honestly didn’t know what to say. I still don’t. I do know I’ve never been a quitter. I hope to be back in touch. I follow your postings and it’s abundantly clear to me that you have a gift for hearing what people DON’T say and for helping anyone who reaches out. I’d really like to thank you.
Cheryl
Wow!!! They said I would spot one… oh my goodness I have woken up from this experience. Although hell I agree Melanie…I am now whole and loving life… thank you for everything you have done..support has been amazing. Wishing us all many years of fun and laughter as our new whole selves xx
I agree with you on this. The Poem was right on. The poem is stating feelings you gave me something special or so I thought, you made me feel loved or so I thought, so I take my power back. Because the strength that the narcissist possess is they feel the power in love and in your sorrow. That is how they feed on your hurt, your love and render you powerless. So she is stating all of that. Thank you Melanie, great strength in that poem.
In my case all my narcs found and used me, forced me to stay closer or longer as I said I wanted. They ignored my statements in fact and used all my reasons I offered them (unconscious mistake, grounded on my need to be a nice and not hurting person because I knew how it feels) to manipulate and hook me. The only thing one finally does with going away is – setting the original boundary, because now able to do it because of the one more “lecture of life”.
Don’t forget that it is an exchange in such a relationship and that every human is same special.
I think you do not understand who this poem is speaking to…
The entire point OF the poem is gratitude.
These words resonate so much, Mel. Thanks for sharing them, the words give so much to latch into and be able to reflect on.
Hi Kay,
you are very welcome 🙂
Mel xo
Romans 8:28
He, God works ALL things (good and bad) together for good, to those that love God.
The silver lining.
Excellent.
Sandy
Hi Sandra,
beautiful passage.
Something Neale Donald Walsch wrote always stuck with me: “I only send you angels”.
Mel xo
So don’t agree with that … There’s always an opposite, the yin to the yang .. The Angels opposite is evil ….. I only send Angels …. what BS .. Tell that to a two year old child whose severely and horribly sexually abused by their parents/ family…. is that the work of an angel ??? Come on, use some intelligence and discrimination in what you believe .. Some spiritual platitudes are so cliche !
You changed my Life!!!! Thankyou so Much
Absolutely brilliant!
It says it all…
Thank you x
Hi Rebecca,
thank you – yes I does believe it says it all! As the absolute truth does…
Mel xo
Mel,
Welcome to the wonderful world of prose.
This one is fitting for you:
Love’s Lantern
Because the road was steep and long
And thru a dark and lonely land,
God set upon my lips a song
And put a lantern in my hand.
Through miles on weary miles of night
That stretch relentless in my way
My lantern burns serene and white,
An unexhausted cup of day.
O golden lights and lights like wine,
How dim your boasted splendors are.
Behold this little lamp of mine;
It is more starlike than a star!
Joyce Kilmer
Awww Lyn,
that is beautiful!
Brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you 🙂
Mel xo
That’s great!
I will be grateful to you forever, although we never met but you helped me in my most crucial time and and I became able to stand again. Thanks again Melanie!
With Love
Ahmad
I was trying to look for the gift in all of this yesterday, this is perfect!! Thank you and thank you for all the information
thank you so very much for your poem i read it during work it really uplifted me in every way thanks melanie !
Thank U Melanie. That touched me very deeply and I understand now what happened to me. It’s taken a long time to see. “I was once lost, I am now found”.
You are so welcome lovely people.
I am glad it has touched your heart and it could help..
Mel xo
I just want to say thank you so much for teaching me what my ex was. I still have fear but this information has really helped me to get stronger and keep fighting. My little girl lives with my evil ex and I’m going to fight to get her back with me cause he used my mental health against me. And I love the butterflies because it stands for freedom and coming out of the darkness
Dear Mel,
Please help me to understand this.
people who i just had in my home the night before ignore me in the street the next day!! What have i done to deserve this?
Love the poem.
Hi mel
This is exactly why i fear approaching and talking to people,sometimes, for fear of being ridiculed or rejected and this is what happens in some of the cases. This girl befriended ME and my children. Then today she ignored me while sat at the bus stop! I admit the first time i met her at the bus stop i had not seen her before so didnt know her to talk to her even though she lived on my estate(i recently moved in from another area and knew nobody here). Maybe she wanted to ignore me like i did.
Hi Manuela,
unless you asked them directly – you will never know.
The true solution is: “What is it that is unhealed in me generating this experience?”
Mel xo
Such a beautiful and powerful poem. Thank you for the work you do that helps to resonate within us all and heal us. Thank you for showing me the way. Xox
You are very welcome Stephanie 🙂
Mel xo
Mel, a beautiful poem.
At the level of souls, when we truly disconnect from them, is this what happens to their soul:
“…your disowned soul rejoices in Oneness, love and a job well done.”
Did you mean that when we disconnect,they are somehow healed by the boundaries we placed?
Lots of love.
Hi Jane M.,
What I mean is their soul always was connected to Oneness and truth..
Their personality remains disconnected.
So, their real life experience is not healing.
Such is the nature of narcissism.
Mel xo
When I read your poem this morning it reminded me of one I wrote four years ago when I was just beginning my healing process. I haven’t shared it with many people, but you’ve given me the courage to share it with you now.
Closing the Door
I am taking them off–
the hard hat of shame,
stiff straight jacket of responsibility,
and tight red shoes my mother gave me.
I am giving them back–
they no longer fit,
as I outgrew my taught taste for constriction,
and desire to be what I’m not.
I am walking away–
from surface roles played,
the good mother, fixer and counsel to all
who came to my table for comfort.
I am building a home–
for my deeper self,
the I which was lost in the battle,
to make the blind see past their armor.
I am going inside–
through doors of soft faith,
to find the dark seeker who held me with grace,
while I struggled to stand in harsh light.
Very beautiful and deep
Truly evolutionary emotion, thank you.
Lovely poem – so happy you shared!
Hi Devora,
I am so pleased you shared this..
What you have written is absolutely divine.
Mel xo
That was stunningly written ! Thank you
I love this it reminds me of the steel jacket of responsibility my mother gave me, the dark hat of shame. And the red shoes that no longer fit me, l return them back.
But l go deeper inside to house of grace to find the dark seeker who held me with grace while I struggled to stand in harsh light.
Very powerful to me. I am free indeed am loving it. My mind is clear l can feel happy and composed and peaceful indeed.
Help me Melanie to continue in this path of taking my power back and self realization.
God bless you
Thank you Melanie. Been away from this site for a bit so that my focus would only be on my inner healing and growth. Returned today to find your wonderful poem. “Taking my power back”…..though, we always had that power….we just didn’t cultivate it till now. Now we can reach deep and resource it. Isn’t that so?
Hi Melissa,
that is so true – what we were looking for outside ourselves, was within us all along.
Mel xo
LOVE IT!!! Thank God for inspiration! 🙂
Beautiful, Melanie.
Thank you for sharing something so personal…Thank you for everything!
Wow, beautiful words strung together by a wise soul.
I burst into healing tears about line 5. Thanks Melanie! Love you.
Melanie, I have been reading and learning from you for years. This poem sums up everything. You have no idea how you have saved me from my 48 year NA abuse and showed me how to move forward. I do have a local therapist who I give most of the credit to. I will etch these words in my brain, “I take my power back from you”.
Awww thank you for your lovely words!
You are so welcome 🙂
Mel xo
Beautifully sad and beautifully happy all at once. Exactly how the narcissist can make a person feel- only Your poem and Your work in this helps us all heal and understand the whole confusing picture of what we’ve been through. Thank you for your voice and for showing me mine. You have helped me and many others I’m certain!
Beautiful x thank you x
You are soooo welcome 🙂
Mel xo
I don’t think this poem is saying that one gives the other power as creator — but rather as catalyst. Giving the other power as “the All” was a human error. Even the other cannot sustain the burden of this kind of misplaced responsibility. I think this poem is gorgeous and beautiful, and most of all, written by a warrior. The warrior’s inner compass has led them to the Source. At the same time there is a sense of tenderness and compassion. This poem describes the journey, the sacrifices, and the rewards. It’s all there, very tightly compacted, like a beautiful little nosegay containing all the flowers of spring and summer. It’s beautiful and a bit sad, and very full of heart, and overflowing with love.
Hi Charlene,
beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing..
Mel xo
Great poem! Very inspirational and beautiful! Thank you for sharing, Melanie! xoxo Julia
BEAUTIFUL!
Mwah – so much love!
Mel xo
Yo !!So Perfect.
Synchronicity too!!I was feeling such Gratitude for the Blessings of my enLightening,painful Revealing Journey.-and voila your poem… “Home” and “Spewing out” the false dense toxins.A present to be gifted with the catalyst,the narc,so our Soul can be Cleansed and polished by harsh Truth,because the narcissist caused us to “see our eyes were wide shut”,we were zoned out.The narc didnt force us to lose our way,we each have our Soul journey.
Peace Warriors We Truly Are..Light workers with starlights dancing the divine dance within us again.Our Heart and Soul yearn to be in Tune.
WOW Mel YOUR GUIDANCE is Insightfull, my children Will “see their Mum for who she Truly is” at Peace in “ONE PIECE” connected to ALL not scared anymore,still practising what you guide:spewing out and lightening In !!!
xxx Bless you Mel
Hi April,
that is wonderful this synchronicity added to your flourishing and expansion of gratitude.
You are so very welcome 🙂
Mel xo
Thank you thank you thank you. This, as so much of what you give to us, came to me in a moment of longing and slipping. You bring me back to myself, back onto my own feet, my own roots. Thank you so much Melanie. You are a blessing.
Hi Elizabeth,
you are so welcome, and I am so pleased I can add to your healing.
Mel xo
Hi Mel,
I enjoyed the poem. Thank you for posting it. It made me think of my favorite quote that I found 10 years ago when I was very sad. It’s short and simple, but very comforting.
“Hope is patience with the lamp lit.”
Tertullian
You’re the best Mel.
Peggy
Hi Peggy,
you are so welcome.
That is a beautiful quote, thank you for sharing.
Mel xo
Love it.
Taken away from the pain of it all,
Now I’m strong and standing tall.
Seeing it clearly for what it was,
A sicko human and his name was ?.
I no longer know him and fear him no more,
I’m the one who’s ahead on that score.
So now I’m free to thrive and soar,
No longer living life out ,in a war.
I’ll live a life full of joy, peace and love ,
And thank God for wisdom sent from above.
Hi Kay,
gorgeous, you have really captured the ‘return to our True Self’.
Mel xo
Hello Mel, thank you it is where I am now too. The narc played his role perfectly, but you did get me to where I needed to be. xxjane
Hi Jane,
you are so welcome 🙂
We truly are all in this together…
Mel xo
Hi Melanie, I’ve followed you now for 3 years, enjoying the messages you put together on my own little journey where I gave my power to someone else. The strange thing that struck me with this was I am NOT a poetic person either and a poem just ‘came out of me’ and it wrote itself only about 24 hours before your post. Must have been something about that night ! 🙂 Regards, Anita
Hi Anita,
I am so glad my messages have helped…
Yes, ‘poetry’ must have been in the ethers!
Mel xo
“This took place at the level of souls
Thank you for playing your part as was always intended
I take back my power from you…and
Because of your help, Dear Soul, I am free”
Love that part.
You just forgot, Now crawl back to your hole as I pray for any unlucky soul you meet.
Thanks,
Scott
Scott 🙂
Hi Scott,
I am glad you loved that path…
Really were we unlucky? Are there any mistakes?
Mel xo
Hi Melanie, what a beautiful poem, it is powerful and resonates with my being. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Hi Michelle,
I am glad you enjoyed it, and you are so welcome.
Mel xo
Hello Melanie! As I continue my NARP journey more and more things unfold. I am so grateful to have your program so I can shift stuff right out. Today I realized a huge energetic match that narc and me share. Like you said in a previous blog codependent is the flip side of the narc coin. Thank you again for helping all the hurt souls in this community. I am learning so much from you and finding myself again.
Hi Raeanne,
I am so pleased the journey Back To Yourself is unfolding…
You are so welcome 🙂
Mel xo
Melanie this is one of the most healing pieces of literature i have read.
Im getting so much support and insight from all you do. I’m currently awaiting my new home to be available to move into and finally after 20 years leave my narc husband in 2 weeks. Im living separated under same roof and its been gut wrenching to say the least. The only strength i get is from your material and my faith combined. I go to sleep listening to your blog radio programs and can’t express how they build my strength and skills in recovery. Ive met other women who i refer to your site because you DO offer all the answers and then offer empowering ways to enable us to transform. I love your honesty and transparency and can identify with everything you say. Thank you for enabling me to know I’m not crazy and that if i have crazy thinking its got a perfectly good reason (blog radio june 5 episode) Ive listened to this 5 times and still build upon my understanding each time. I now don’t feel as isolated in my traumatic experiences knowing there are others all around the world going through similar. In our circle of friends and all the new lady friends showing up when he constantly goes out to source his new narc supply, all i hear is how lovely, genuine and open this narc is. He told me his psychotherapist said he is healed. We are talking a very cunning man who can convince even the professionals not just unsuspecting women in pubs!
I find it a very isolating situation when the only ones who know the truth are his close family and his messed up children at home.
Im still struggling with this situation of people not knowing the person we see most of the time. I’m needing to do a whole lot of healing to get to the point where i don’t feel tempted to blurt out the truth to the next person who sings his praises falling captive to his charm! any ideas on what area to address and focus on?
Thanks Heather
Hi Heather,
I am so glad my material is helping you…
That is great that my radio shows and articles are offering support, but what I want you to understand Heather is that the true recovery work is the energetic releasing and transforming of belief systems at the subconscious level.
That is where Quanta freedom Healing and NARP comes in. Otherwise it is incredibly difficult, when deep trauma and associated inner wounding is concerned, to address that at a logical level.
When you heal from the inside out, then the hooks and ties are emotionally severed and you do break free.
That is my only suggestion for you – to take the journey to the true inner level.
Then your struggle will be gone.
Mel xo
Heather, Yes…the cunning wolf in sheep’s clothes .. is one of the hardest things to over-come. And worse, when they actually convince others, even family members, that you are the crazy one. Let it go… find your angel friends who stand by you and know you.. and hold on to your Self. And be glad they are gone…. all of them. xo karin spritzler
Hi Mel,
Your poem is absolutely brilliant, thank you for sharing.
Hi Ang,
thank you and you are so welcome 🙂
Mel xo
Heather I can so relate to you I am in the same place 20 years just signed divorce papers but still living under the same roof until the marital home sells. Could not have done that without Mels help thats for sure. I have grown in leaps and bounds but still struggle in that one area. The all around new & old people telling me how wonderful and great my ex nar is as he plays the great guy role so well. It feels almost like an insult to me if they only knew the pain he has caused by his real horrific actions not the great guy facade he shows the world. I hate that it still bothers me and that I still have this hook would love to let it go! so your question of what to address and focus on when that happens is perfect for me too ! God bless
My narc puts on a good act too. It is insidious and sneaky. But like Mel says to cling to a hook gives it energy. I find letting go of hooks to be a step by step process. And some days feel like a roller coaster. Here is another thought. It seems to me that my spouse was my key to emotional security. That is so wrong I can see now because it gives narc all the power. And it’s also an energy match because he sees that in me…but it’s also in him…so he tries to stuff it all back into me through covert bullying that is mostly unseen by others. So that being said… and going back to Melanie’s blogs… if we are a source unto ourselves that is the most healthy way to be. The more I let go of my own insecurities the less power he has over me.
Thank you Raeanne you hit the nail right on the head that is why I just love this community. Yes he was my key for years to my emotional security. When people say how wonderful and great he is I internalize that because my own self esteam is still very fragile and I start to wonder how do I measure up in these peoples eyes. Its just my ego crying out due to lack of solid self esteam so that is were I need to focus my healing with self love and compassion for the emotional damage that was done and the process of healing that is an ongoing journey
Hi Sandy. Yes definately a self esteem issue too. With the help of NARP I traced my emotional security issue waaay back to childhood.This beating up and beating down of another person to elevate onesself is a generational thing I am sure. So there is a lot of junk to NARP out and shift away. But whar K have done so far has helped with the hooks tremendously. And all those other people who think you narc is still so wonderful…well you know what? He has them fooled too! It’s like a crooked politician who kisses babies but cuts funding for abuse shelters so he can holiday on a tropical island. Horrible. So anyway those persons who still think he’s Mr. Wonderful…they can have him and their self made charade. The hook for you might be this…still wanting to hold narc accountable for the harm. know that he will always be a spin master and it is the Universe that will dole out karma. You may never see the fall of him… but who cares.
Thank you for the poem and all you have written. I am still deep in the relationship but you have opened my eyes and for the first time it all makes sense. I know why I have allowed this to happen. I am in the process of empowering myself in order to move forward. I have such a long way to go before I ‘make the move’ but just seeing the light has given me hope. I can see a brighter future ahead. Thank you!!
awesome!!!,,,,talk about “turning lemons into lemonade” haha
Thank you for allowing me to see the massive positive.
You had your rubicon on the bathroom floor and I’ve had mine about half way through this poem.
kia kaha!
Hello,
I just came out of three hours of shifting. Layers upon layers of shifting moved me into my childhood. A clear knowing now, of the intense difficulty I had communicating with my father. A difficult, mind bending struggle to try to understand how to behave, who to be, to cross the threshold of being loved. A difficult, confusing journey I now understand has followed me, as a heavy, dark mass of confusion in my being. Who I am has always been there. But the powerlessness, hesitancy, fear, insecurity, crippling confusion kept me a passenger in my own life. Setting me up to put every else first, tending to the needs of others, before my own, AT ALL TIMES.
Even after having brushed death twice from a crippling gastro intestinal illness, the message was still not clear. The flow of my true nature, stopped, dead in it’s tracks at a very young age. The fear of everything out there being stronger, and getting the better of me was an ever present reality. Leaving no space for me.
Everything felt hard. Life felt hard, all the time. I became a people pleaser. Working harder, all the time. Endless work hours, on top of the shame of not being enough, kept me spinning my wheels. A pattern I know too well. A pattern I hate with all my being. My throat is tight, I take a breath and remind myself, I know better now.
I did my best to please, but I remained confused. It was never enough. I was never enough. Nothing I could do would ever be good enough to ensure my survival. I remained at the mercy of everyone, and everything else that happened to me. That’s living life as a victim.
I didn’t know better. There’s a whisper in my gut now, that things can be different. I’m afraid of my ego. The two are in battle. Can I still make it? Can I really let go and be at peace with who I am. Can I let myself live? Can I live simply, and at peace? I hate my ego. It keeps me paralyzed. It hides all my beauty. It keeps me contracted and constrained in a tight box.
I’m afraid of freedom. I don’t know what that feels like. Do people really live like that? Can relationships really work like that? The relationship with the narc tells me, “no,” there is no freedom in relationships.
The choice to be free, to be myself is mine, I know. It feels like it takes so much strength to live free. To let go.
Being free around the narc, feels impossible. As soon as I try to shine, I get lies, betrayal, another reminder that “it’s just too hard.” Maybe that’s the gift. Maybe that’s where I have to keep shining more brightly. I won’t delude myself into believing that it will change anything for us, anymore.
Just maybe it will change something for me.
Thank you to the community, thank you for showing up, and thank you for reminding me, through all your experiences, that I too, can and have the strength to make changes, that just maybe it can be easy.
Blessings.
Melanie,
Thank you for this wonderful poem. Your words describe perfectly what I know to be true about the higher intended purpose of me meeting an N that has awoken me on so many levels. I am trauma bonded an addicted to him . I also instinctively know that he is no good for me .
I see the dramatic changes happening to me as a result of things he has put me through ( or more accurately that I participated in). Honestly we have to examine our roles in these encounters. What do we seek and what keeps us staying? I knew this person was not healthily for me. Yet I was drawn to him like a magnet. I came to realize it was repetition compulsion, trying to resolve trauma from my childhood. He felt so familiar since I had abusive parents, one who was a N. I did not even realize my parent was an N till I got involved with him. That realization lead me to so many other realizations about my life. I was attracted to certain types of N people throughout my life . I was engaging in repetition compulsions and had never known it. I had repressed alot of my childhood abuse .
Meeting this N made me see all of that which I had previously been oblivious to since it was all repressed. It was difficult at at times to continue with him but I knew that meeting him at the point of my life that I did ( a transitional point ) was meant to be in a spiritual way. This pathological encounter ( of both my issues & his ) was awake up call for me and the time had come for me to see things about myself & my life. It all was extremely, confusing yet clear as a bell at the same time.
Meeting him was a special opportunity for me to grow in ways I would have never been able to grow in had I not met him. I was able to see what his problems were and also in turn what my problems were. These problems are based on childhood trauma and how we develop as a result. He served as mirror for me. Noone else was able to provide this gift to me. These realizations lead me to more and more realizations. Its actually all very spiritual and an intense opportunity for growth. It does hurt , is very addicting ( like a drug) & feels like love. But deep inside you know its not real love.
I do feel like we relate on the level of souls and he was sent to be a messenger to me from the universe. I am working on getting out now and do plan to leave him very soon. I do intend to take all my power back when I leave. I also hope he may become a bit unfrozen from his traumas as a result of our meeting each other. I wish I could help him more. It is a soul connection , but I realize we are not soul mates.I do know love is about actions not words. Abusiveness is not love. Control & power over each other is not love. He has these issues. He repeatedly tries s to draw me in . I will not succumb.I have spent my whole adult life trying my best to live a mentally healthy healthy life. Meeting him has been an important part of my life’s journey. I need to keep it in perspective through.
I think your poem was an epiphany for yourself. You really were finally in the zone. You felt it in your bones not just in words. Best of luck to you!
Love this poem… it is not glorifying the N. in our lives… but rather, making it a gain rather than a loss, It damaged us, yes… ( I have permanent physical damage ).. but it DID make us more aware . I think all of us, strive to be more and more aware; so, bravo. I thought of an IMAGE recently, which i will share: I interpreted that because both sides were very securely attached, I was safe…. walking on a tightrope with no net.
Thank you so very much:)
I love this poem. You have described exactly how it feels, as I am moving along in life, free. Thank you!
Val
a beautiful and powerful poem….never again will they mistake my kindness for weakness
I don’t know where to start. After reading all the other comments, each one has in itself descriptions of myself. I see a mirror of myself in everyone’s lives. I too am a victim of narcissists. I have a daughter who is one and now a granddaughter. My life has been one of regrets and failures, in that I never recognized that I was living with narcissists all my life.
Everything that I have read in your articles has just opened my mind to what I really have been putting myself through all these years. The torment, sadness, misery etc has broken me down as a Mother, doubting myself through pain and heartache. Thank you for giving me the insight to look at this from a different perspective.
Although I am new to your forum, I look with delight at the articles that give me some faith in humanity once again.Thank you for the beautiful poem
A touching, inspirational, and wonderful poem. It struck me that you could be talking to the personified object of an addiction as well as a Narcissist. You’ve given me a lot to sit with and so much that resonates. Thanks Mel.
Thank you Melanie,
Beautiful poem, true to life, high Energy
Marjo
Mel, I have been NC for one month, 7 days, and working, working, working it. Waiting for the Neale Donald Walsch event as I write this, but I wanted you to know I posted your beautiful poem on my FB page. I am strongly feeling the peptide addiction today; still, I am more at peace than I have been since the N came into my life almost 6 years ago. You call the narcissists “Aids”, but I feel that you, dear Melanie, are the “Angel in Disguise” for all of us in Narp! God bless you, you sweet, loving woman, for helping to show us what needs to be done!!!
Hi Mel,
Lovely poem, reading this in April of 2017 and have only just found you. A few years ago I read Caroline Myss book Sacred Contracts, I feel sure many of your readers know it including yourself. Yes we have sacred contracts…. thanks again you are a beautiful person Mel. oxoxox
Hi Melanie,
Thank you so much for caring enough to create this site to help free the rest of us.
You know everyone has a story and purpose in this life we travel through. So many, souls awaited your birthing so we too could be released into the ‘true self’ of who for me, that is God Almighty created us to become. Jesus for me is my light, truth, and the way to wholeness keeper of our souls. You have reminded me how much truth and light have played a key role for us to heal and be free. I have had to shift and realize I have allot of false belief systems.
Yes, I forgive the other person and see how without him I would have been still stuck living in a pseudo false empathetic self!
This has stopped me to take a look at myself, Now, I realize how I have not known how to take on self-care, self-love, and self-healing. A big one for me, I realize that I did not feel worthy of anything good or kind to me. Those were are all lies.
I have chosen with your help to turn away from that and to deliberately agree I can have a better life and there are good people, experience, joy, and the husband or partner in the grace of life that can really love me for me.
I can have this too!
Thank you Melanie….
Unemployed at the moment.
However, as soon as, I can will become a NARP participant!
I want to continue with my healing and take back my POWER!!!
Thank you for the BEAUTIFUL Poem!
Blessings, Angela Diane : )
Hi Angela,
you are so welcome – and thank YOU for your beautiful comment.
So many blessings and power to you.
Mel xo
Hi Melanie,
Your poem is so wonderful. I am actually in the process of separating from my NPD husband and it has been such a painful journey for me for the last 12 years. Your blogs helped me see things so clearly and made me believe in myself.
Thank you Again! Love
SZ
Hi Suzzie,
Thank you and I am so pleased my material has been able to help.
Many blessings to you.
Mel xo
Mel,
Thank you so much for these emails, articles and poems. It’s like a little beam of light in my email inbox each day. They really help to “remind” me of what I need to be doing.
This email reminded me of a dream I had about a month ago. In the dream there was a little girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old. She was very small and weak. In the dream I think she was supposed to be my sister’s daughter (although my sister does not have a daughter) and she was complaining to me that we didn’t listen to her, and she wished we would listen to her and her head hurt. Her name was Chrysalis. I woke up and wrote this down because I didn’t know what “chrysalis” meant. I’m beginning to think this was more than just a random dream. 😉
Hi MJB,
Please know how welcome you are!
Wow are dreams absolutely can be so insightful and point to further healing!
Mel🙏💕❤️
Hi Melanie, 16 days it was a journey to myself, I am deeply touched. 14years ago, my son was two, he always looked after the butterflies and his “Mom look at the butterflies” has been in my ears. I will the transformation into myself! I will! After living
in abusive relationships from my birth. And now I am 55, your way seems possible to me. My English isn’t very well, I can better read than write, I hope I get it, I have to!
All the best to you!
Eli
Hi Eli,
I am so pleased you are feeling that hope and possibility now Dear Lady.
Wishing you incredible healing and freedom.
Mel 🙏💕❤️
Wow, that is beautiful! Thank you.
This poem is encouraging and gives so much inspiration. I will get over it all and I am grateful for the invaluable information on your site Melanie, keep up the good work!
Beautifully said, Melanie.
There is a sadness in a soul that cannot or refuses to find the strength to heal but their gift is in the lesson that they awaken us to. Just… no more gifts like that please. Had enough. Time to heal .
Thank you for sharing. : )
And thank you for doing so well the non-narcissistic end of this blessing; we all needed that.
Thank you Melanie for just surviving the abuse and choosing to use it to help yourself and others like me. I suffered narcissistic abuse from my professor. Found out he had 5 other women, proposed to us all and just abandoned us and fled when he was called out by me. I am on the road to mending, but these past 16 days have been great. All the best.
I have only recently discovered I have been living with a narcissist, now separated and heading into divorce. The feelings are still pretty raw, mostly because of the disbelief of how evil someone can become at a drop of a hat. Your 16 day program certainly assisted in seeing certain truths, and I know things will get better as I work through this.
Thank you Melanie.
Good poem and wish I could relate but cant, Having lost my house, kids, money and job through having my name being smeared as a sexual abuser by my wife to get everything and cover her latest affair I am not really feeling any thanks for any of this. How do we feel grateful when people sometimes die as a result of these lies. The ex of a friend of mine got into drugs and ended up with a heroin addict, Amazingly they got primary custody of his son despite my friend being a well respected Doctor. His sun almost inevitably got caught up in drugs and got stabbed to death. Or the holocaust which was caused by a narcissist. It is very hard as a bloke to get any justice. To have your name in the local papers for false allegations of a very severe type ruins your life and relations and career whether they are true or not. I wish i felt your optimism but despite doing your course I still feel wracked with grief and upset and disappointment with how my career and name are now associated with horrendous things that never happened. Overcoming the lies is the most difficult thing of all when they have been believed by others. My ex could have been an Oscar winning actress, very through job she and her partner did
PS So hard to gain one’s self belief back after all this, I was confident capable person but am now just a bad of anxiety and self hate for being so naïve. Not sure what more to do – I don’t seem able to find a way out or experience what you have through quanta healing. I used to believe in quantum justice but don’t see it anymore. Anymore tips when you have left it all, not seen my kids for 10 years now and lost all that childhood from 8 and 6.
PPS – I have just been broken since all this – tried one more time recently just to ask about the kids and was threatened with the police again for intimidation 🙁
PPPS – I don’t believe in our courts, legal systems or anything much anymore. When none of it is just and you have tried really hard how can you not lose faith in most things including your own and the universes best efforts?
Thankyou greatly Mel. I just began this.. I have been separated for two years from mine, and been going through agony the entire time. You’re right. It’s a true gift back to ourselves and I’m glad I found you. I hope I am beaming in another years time. Thankyou x