Can you believe it is Christmas again. Where did this year go?
One thing for certain is this year was big for many, many people. So many people are experiencing great change – and how I see this is: we are all being challenged to let go of the things and people that no longer serve us in order to become a much more authentic self.
Christmas time can be very challenging; it brings up a lot of stuff for us. Often we assess the year we have been through and how far we have come.
Christmas is a major event, and during the year we may have been wishing to have secured some type of outcome “by Christmas”.
Maybe we got there, and maybe we didn’t …
Maybe we are faced with loneliness, estranged family connections, and the loss of our marriage or relationship that we associated as “togetherness” at Christmas time.
Maybe what we knew as our reality traditionally at Christmas no longer exists. I still remember the agony of all of those feelings previously at Christmas. I remember before starting my true recovery, how I didn’t even make it off the couch to join the family in Christmas proceedings because I was so shattered.
If you are feeling this agony, please know my heart goes out to you.
I want you to know something I know with all of my heart – because I have been there. There is a huge advantage in this holiday time, if we can set new intentions, work on our release shifts and set up a new personal template for 2015.
I know and can feel that 2015 is going to be a powerful time. For those of you who are into Numerology – 2015 is an “8” year. It is a year of breakthroughs and the ability to “be” powerful energy expanding outwards. Next year promises to be a year of “creation”.
2104 was a “7” Universal Year. It was a year of going inwards, taking stock, inward reflection and not quite being able to release energy powerfully yet. (Please know these are generalised energies.)
Astrologically the energy report experts are stating that we can expect big personal breakthroughs in 2015 – meaning that if we get our energy right and take a step forward, the Universe will grant many more steps in kind.
Personally, I am feeling and experiencing these incredible breakthroughs, and I am seeing them with so many people who have also been shifting and releasing old emotional patterns. I have seen people break free and start to connect to feelings and experiences that they just couldn’t connect to previously.
The more we understand Quantum Truth – how creation and energy really works – we know that our inner beingness is the generative source of our outer creations. We know that when we work on our belief systems and emotions to become the change we wish to experience then we start seeing the real results.
This moves us from powerlessness and struggling to survive – to powerfulness and being able to generate our life.
I would like to share with you some of my goals I am presently aligning with.
By aligning I mean I have set these intentions up as emotional energetic goals, which I then clear my emotional resistance on, which then grants me the emotional freedom to take inspired action, instead of trying to generate expansion whilst hanging on to fearful blocks.
Here are my goals for 2015:
1) To grow more deep personal connections of authenticity
2) Connecting with my community in person through “QFH shift meetups”
3) Creating greater exposure with this mission
4) Release my new book world-wide
5) Connecting to ways that I can help raise consciousness in greater global ways
6) Setting up investments through property
7) Generating greater health and exercise routines
8) Spoiling myself with enjoyable downtime, fun and travel
9) Settling more into the state of “just being” with ease, grace and joy.
I’d love to know what goals you would like to achieve this coming year …
All of these goals I have been working on collectively for some time, by diligently locating and up-levelling the blocks in my belief systems that used to make these goal anywhere ranging from difficult to impossible for me (hence why I hadn’t achieved them to their true potential previously).
Now they aren’t – and the more I keep clearing out the fears and confusion and “How am I going to do this” or “I’m not good enough”, or “People are much better than me at this”, or “I could get really hurt or fail doing this” (and many other limiting beliefs!) – all of the inspirations, information, opportunities and excitement of these goals flow through to me.
Then it feels amazing to take action.
This is how we co-generate with life in the most powerful ways.
I want you to understand that my life was wiped out in my 40’s, and at the time I had no idea how I could every rebuild 20 years of hard work that was down the drain.
Now I know that the rebuild starts on the inside, and when we get that right, not only is the pain gone, but our life opens up in ways that we could never see or feel before.
My Gift To You This Christmas
This Christmas time is your time.
The time where you can nestle into you and have the time to work on your new intentions.
The most powerful way to do this is by removing your limiting beliefs and replacing them with the Source Truths that will free you to start claiming your real life.
Since understanding my true mission of uplevelling my painful beliefs to new and healthier realities, Christmas time has become so powerful for me. It signifies the time to devote to myself, to really assess where I am at, what I want to grow towards, and doing the inner being shift work to align with my goals.
For some years now, this included having the profound ability to work directly on my subconscious – which holds the beliefs that are either going to allow me to go forward, or not. Whatever areas of my life I have difficulty going forward with means there are corresponding subconscious beliefs that I need to find and up-level.
The times of deepest pain, are the times which hold the greatest transformation. If you use this time to go deeply inside to self-soothe and lovingly devote to self and up-level – this Christmas could be exactly that transformation opportunity for you.
My programs all offer the powerful processes to work directly on your subconscious to make the changes that we just can’t achieve through sheer willpower or “thinking”.
Often times a much deeper process is required in order to create true change.
So I want to help you achieve the personal transformations you desire by offering you these special bundles which can be a Christmas present to yourself (or maybe someone you love who you know could use this help).
The Gift of Giving
Please know 20% of all of these Christmas Special sales will be going toward a fund for people who are suffering financial hardship and can’t afford the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program’s small monthly repayments, and who would dearly like to partake in my Recovery Program.
People who especially need this support at this time.
I’d love it this Christmas if we all stand together to heal ourselves and help others heal, set new and powerful intentions, and as a community be a part of this consciousness shift into wellbeing and our True Lives where narcissistic abuse is no longer our reality.
Let’s together start creating these intentions in the last remaining part of 2014, in order to set up 2015 as a year that we will never forget – a year of incredible breakthroughs.
Go here to claim your Christmas special and take part in the gift of giving.
What A Year It’s Been!
In 2014 we have seen the New Life community grow to an excess of 30,000 members. Together we have shared the experience of many people breaking free from their extremely painful circumstances, and been overjoyed with the many inspiring reports that have come forth.
I couldn’t be more humbled and proud of this community, and I want to thank you so much for being a part of it.
No matter which stage of recovery you are at, please know I am so inspired by you, and what you already have and can continue to achieve!
I’d love you to think about what goals you want to achieve in the coming year and share them with the community in the comments below
Hi Melanie!
I ended this year by ending the relationship with my narc abuser. Thanks to the information you provide, I can honestly say now, I am grateful for being given the opportunity to reconnect with my authentic self again. I look forward to washing away the layers of pain of my inner wounded self with your program, and connecting to the flow of true living and life through the ‘Source.’ Thank you so much for all that you do for all and who are hurting, especially at this time.
I wanted to give this ‘gift’ of empowerment to those hurting from narc abuse. I think everyone can relate to this song by Adele, called Turning Tables. It was inspirational for me, and I hope it is for you as well. I look forward to being narc free and the exciting journey 2015 will bring. Happy Holidays Everyone!
http://youtu.be/WeMa_3-4zHI
Peace, love and joy,
Mark
Mark, thank you for that song. It is the perfect one to share for us in this community. Glad you got free outside and now you’ll get to become free inside.
Thanks Laura. Just remind yourself, there’s nothing to miss. It was all just a dream. The greatest love story starts with you!
Holy Hugs,
Mark
Thank you Mark for this song…Describes it perfectly….the hard part for me is knowing that none of it was real…It was all staging and acting..
We all feel the same Gloria so your not alone.
Holy Hugs!
Hi Mark,
you are so welcome, and I am so pleased you are on the path to your True Self …
Thank you for sharing this song, I agree it is powerful. I am sure this gift from you will inspire others.
Wishing you a wonderful, joyous and heart-warming Christmas Mark.
Mel xo
My goals are to finish a book I am writing, get my finances stabilized and increased, travel to see my mother, enjoy weekend adventures (little mini-roadtrips) with my sketching materials, dance three times a week, and to have a blast being me! I really want to have my emotional set-point much higher on a daily basis and to continue to use my journal and reflection time to expand what I believe is possible.
I am entering my second year narc-free and I can feel that I am almost over the pain of that relationship, as well as the lifetime pain of a narc-father. I am relating to emotional pain very differently. I am really noticing that I am better and better with boundaries. I want to continue and deepen my permission to like what and who I like and to not talk myself out of my gut feelings to people, places and things. This is a huge shift for me and much freedom is coming from it.
Your writing and Family of Origin teachings have been invaluable. Thank you so much for helping me to change my life., Melanie. You are an angel.
Hi LauraG,
those are fantastic goals, I can just feel the authenticity and expansion oozing out of them!
I love your anchoring into trusting yourself and showing up powerfully within that truth.
That opens so many doors to life, because then you can be “you” and be “safe” with whatever you wish to do.
Have a beautiful Christmas and New Year Laura.
2015 is going to be a wonderful year!
Mel xo
Hi I would like to wish everyone a very peaceful Christmas I finished a relationship with a narc 2 months ago I seemed to be doing well until this week I am feeling the loss I have done lots of shifts with the narc programme I need to do some more this is my pattern or co-dependency when I get to this pain all I want to do is contact the narc and make out it was all my fault I am going to do more shifts and keep the focus on me and my recovery it is all so painful this is my 3 narc relationship I don’t ever want to go through this abuse again yet I forget how abusive it was when I am in this pain I just want to fix it. None f these people were diagnosed narcs I made that diagnosis from reading Melanie on utube sometimes I think maybe it is me who has problems. it can all get so confusing how can one be sure.
I was just about to sign off when your sharing came on, Joan. Trust yourself about that labeling you are doing. There are lots of people out there who fit Melanie’s description and it will really help if you just go with it for now and don’t worry about a technical definition. I call it having “vampire glasses.” I can see them now and it makes life so much easier because I don’t get blindsided all the time. Be good to you. It is Christmas and I have been missing my narc and dreaming about him even though it is a year ago. I miss what I thought we had. But, during the holidays. all that missing and loneliness is just a lot more. Be good to you.
thank you Laura for your reply and support, yes I accept what you say to let it be as it is for now and like you I am missing the person that was presented in the first few months and then all changed and the emotional abuse started. I bet you are feeling a lot better been away from the abuse for 12 months well done. I seem to forget how bad it was when I have been away from it for a few weeks I need to keep reminding myself why we split and the truth of the situation. have a lovely holiday.
Hi Joan,
it is a massive self-mission in the early days …
Are you in the NARP Community Forum? It can be so helpful to put your hand out for support and encouragement when you need it the most.
The biggest, biggest orientation that will always help you through is “less thinking more shifting”.
So what that means is, rather than your mind hijacking you back into trauma bonding, and the possibility of breaking No Contact … just keep using the Modules to clear the associated trauma out of your body.
That way you will start getting better sooner than you thought possible, if you work on that trajectory.
Big hugs and healing to you Joan.
Mel xo
thanks Mel I so appreciate your words of empowerment I am doing shifts I started on my inner child that seems to be the core of my pain I start being a victim again all my co-dependency issues overpower me. I will do as you suggested it works. the narp programme is amazing god bless you may you have a wonderful peaceful xmas much love Joan xx
Hello Melanie and alll,
I am ending this year in an extreme way – breaking free from a toxic situation 🙂
My goals for this year ( I am going to allow myself to dream big with this) are:
*find a safe, lovely, afordable home
*get supersettled and successfuk & joyful at work
*start my PhD
*finish my book and get it published
*maintain my weight at the level I like it
*regain/improve my health
*have an amazing 30th birthday party
I could ad a couple of things but let’s leave it like this for now. I actually felt better even writing them down, isn’t that something?
All the very best,
Hi Isabel,
Ohhh love that you are allowing yourself to dream big!!
Fabbo! And I love how clear they are , and the stars with them …. awesome energy!!
It is a powerful statement when we share intentions – very powerful!
It sets them in motion … that’s what you can emotionally feel 🙂
Happy a wonderful Christmas and New Year Isabel.
Mel xo
Hi!
This article is excellent as are all the others! I plan to write my goal list shortly.
Question: how can I protect myself from future abusive relationships? I am somewhat naive and when I find out that my boyfriend/friends don’t have the best intentions towards me and are emotionally/verbally abusive, it is too late. I do question their behavior though, but later find out that they lied to me or omitted information. I guess I need a “top 20 list” or an article on how to be discerning when meeting new people/friends. I am over being used and hurt!
Hi Katie,
that is great that you are going to write out your intentions.
In regard to the boyfriends, we can’t actually “protect” ourselves against anything. We can only “be” the change we wish to experience.
What this means Katie is that we all have patterns in our life, and some of them are painful – meaning we need to heal them.
The healing is not a “logical” thing such as “I need to do this differently”, it is a subconscious thing – meaning the programming we received and took on emotionally as a young person.
Doing the inner work on our subconscious changes “who we are” on past painful topics. That then means we stop being attracted to (and attracting) the people who represent the old pattern. It also means we trust ourselves better, and we show up differently, rather than handing our power over, and we start generating relationships that are much healthier.
I hope this helps explain Katie, and I wish you a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
Mel xo
Wishing you all the best with your Goals Melanie, and for a great Xmas and New Year. I look forward to reading your book.
My own goals: To live in love and not fear; to keep working away regarding co-dependency; to keep practicing boundaries – especially with people who try to pull me into their negative energetic spaces (esp father); linked to this, to co-create healthy relationships based on authenticity; to keep caring for my health by meditating, swimming in the ocean, walking, bike riding and eating good food; to keep planting lots of flowers in my garden (live garden and my metaphorical one); to have a trip to QLD next year; to re-think career to reflect my growth and all of the above. And, more than anything, I want to be the best role model to my children and grandchildren – who, apart from one, are all females.
Thanks Melanie for being so real, honest and clear in delivering your message – Carol xxx
Hi Carol,
thank you for your well wishes!
Ohhh I LOVE your goals – they are beautiful very authentic goals which can only be a generation of love and truth for you, life and others.
Beautiful that you are imparting feminine empowerment, which is the power with grace that you are modelling.
You are so welcome Carol, and wishing you and your family a gorgeous Christmas and New Year.
Mel xo
Thanks so much Melanie xxx
My goal for 2015 is to make people aware of Narcissist Abuse and how to look for Red Flags….I have opened up my little (farm) piece of paradise for people to come, relax and have fun and help get through the illusion of a Narc relationship…..I promote your wonderful QFH programs and guide people through the hardships ….it also helps me to grow stronger as we all work together….I love the song Mark…and there are many others I have heard over the past 2 years of my struggle which has inspired me…
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and when you know your not alone, it helps.
Cheers from me and all my wonderful hand reared farm animals on Bonsmara Haven – Your Farm to Feel Good.
Hi Jan,
your farm is just gorgeous! I would love to come visit one day – I adore animals and nature.
You certainly have carved out an incredible part of paradise – just magnificent!
Merry Christmas Jan, and wishing you a wonderful 2015.
Mel xo
Hi All,
The family of origin work takes a long long time. You have to almost destroy a part of yourself to rebuild the “new You”. The hardest part is the pain of admitting that the people who were supposed to love you actually never had your best interests at heart. They had their best interests at heart.
This may be parents and or partners. Once you see people as teachers of lessons, life gets much easier. Some people teach you joy, others teach you pain. The gift is knowing how to transform the pain into joy. That is the biggest challenge of all.
We are responsible for ourselves. Setting boundaries is the most important number 1 goal. From there, everything starts. Our self-respect, our view of our world and our limits.
I came from a narc family of origin with an unstable mother and then went on to attract workers and 2 husbands who were also narcs. At age 59, I am finally awake….
The narcs are the teachers. We in the school of life. Once you learn the lesson, it never gets repeated….
Hi Candy,
it is very true that the old us needs to dissolve in order to anchor in our True Self.
When we work at the subconscious level with powerful DNA shifting tools we can midwife the personal transformation much faster and more powerfully than with just “mind power”. It doesn’t need to take a lifetime.
It is very, very true that our greatest teachers come as “narcs” – absolutely.
Bless and wishing you a happy and safe Christmas.
Mel xo
I was discarded exactly a month ago and to say that the pain has been excruciating is an understatement. I still dream about him often and think about him all the time. It’s as if I have no reprieve from the situation at all. I recognise that I am much better today than I was even a week ago but I can’t wait until maybe 6 months have gone by and he is not living rent free in my head.
For 2015 I just want to be healthy. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. I want to get to this time next year and not be in debilitating pain and I just want to not be bitter, happy and living the best life I can.
Happy holidays to all of you. Wishing you all love, light and happiness.
hi Vivienne
I can so identify with your pain just hang on it will get easier and you will get so strong have you started the narp programme it is the only way to get relief it really works take care lots of love to you this too will pass and you will be free to be yourself bless you happy xmas
Joanxx
Vivienne,
I feel for you at this very early stage of being discarded. It is a difficult time, but please believe you do not have to feel this way forever. I found this website 3 months after leaving a 20 year marriage to my narc, and it quite possibly saved my life. My advice, which is quite pragmatic, is to read everything you can on this website, do the program if it feels “right” for you, and put yourself first and know you need yourself right now more than anyone else. The pain will subside, but be patient, and be persistent in fighting for yourself, and trust that Melanie’s guidance will help you save yourself.
Stay strong and love yourself like no one is watching 🙂
Hi Vivienne,
that time is terrible, and it certainly does feel like a black ink and anxiety has permeated your entire being.
Vivienne that is wonderful that you wish to heal and transform. Have you considered NARP? It contains the processes that help shift you in ways that are much more effective than “time” alone.
In fact just “time” takes a huge amount of time with N-abuse. Working on ourselves to up-level is a much more direct way to heal. We don’t have to remain battling the suffering.
Wishing you hugs and strength this Christmas.
Mel xo
Melanie,
I am so very grateful for having found your wonderful. I discovered your website 2+ years ago, 3 months after leaving a 20 year marriage to a most charming narc, and it quite possibly saved my life. You have been like an angel to me, and I don’t even believe in angels, but I can’t think of any better word to use to describe what you have done for me. I anxiously await your blog posts every month and without fail, every month you seem to hit on exactly what I’m struggling with at the time. It hardly seems sufficient, but thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks to what you have taught me, I have goals for 2015 that I am very excited about. Here are just a handful:
1. replace any remaining anger and contempt I feel for my ex with compassion, or at the very least, ambivalence and disregard.
2. be authentic in all my relationships and allow relationships that don’t feel “right” to fade away
3. work out regularly/eat more healthy
4. turn the fear I feel about my financial security (I’m 55 without sufficient funds for retirement) into a source of strength and courage to grow my publishing company into a solid business
5. replace any judgements I make about people with compassion and be a source of love and hope to those who struggle with connecting to themselves
6. get comfortable speaking in public, and who knows, maybe even be good at it (talk about dreaming big!)
7. pay forward everything I have gotten from this website
Hi Barbara,
you are so welcome, and I am so pleased my material has been able to help you.
Your goals are all wonderful and empowering ones – as well as generating True Self energy with others and Life. Only great things can come from that 🙂
I love that you are excited about generating your life!
Best wishes with your goals and love to you and your family at Christmas.
Mel xo
I am thankful to have found this site again. I know now that I have been involved in the forever vicious cycyle of the Narcisst. Not only have i given up so many things. I now gave up my home, and my car to move in with the man i loved to only discover it to be worse.
Thankfully I was able to get out, but it is recent and again I am dealing with the aftermaths. I am at my parents. I am a 33 year old woman who had everyrthing on her own. And justg like that i gave him my all and just like that i am here. . I was finally able to get a few selected items off the porch he left for me. To now once again get his randome 3:30 a.m texts how he is so hurt that i was his everything and he was my nothing.
I went as far as getting property on me. I know now what i need to do and i will never go back although it is so hard.
Any suggestions. And any suggestions on links for conditioning?
Any suggestions on links to conditioning, manipulation and
I have a confession to make. I failed to complete or even get past Module one the whole year long. I kept starting over because I wasn’t sure of the muscle test. I felted that the muscle test was something that needed to be performed correctly and order to work the program correctly. After a few attempts I stop trying and the next thing you know it’s December all over again. I have stayed in touch by listening to the radio shows.
My intentions for the coming year are to:
work toward overcoming procrastination
work through NARP modules
do those things that are best for me, whether I feel like it or not
practice positive thoughts and speech
work toward improving my financial picture
start a physical fitness program
change my eating habits
change my environment -divorce
Melanie, I am currently on what I call a silent weekend away from everybody and everything, and I listened to your MP3 on “Tips for Quantum Freedom Healing” again. I now REALIZE why I didn’t get through or to the program last year. All the answers are right there in the MP3…
Thank you
I want to add my voice to the New Year posts because last year at this time I could never have guessed how my year would turn around, and turn into something I absolutely LOVE living in! It’s two years ago mid-January that I found Melanie’s site (amongst a zillion others, it seemed the most authentic to me, and the money back promise with the QFH course made it the real-est). Anyway, i started the NARP program and at the time, it was three months since I’d managed to extricate myself and my son away from a 24 year relationship with a N. Everyone here knows how dangerous and depleting that can be, so I’m not going to go into that part.
I feel such huge gratitude to Melanie, the NARP program (which I was happy to pay for!) and the people here for saving my life, and for orienting me towards something so much greater than safety and survival. It’s like you work the program and accumulate a different sort of focus and energy. At times it feels like you’re spinning your wheels and it’ll never get better. But what alternative is there? By the time we get to this site, no one wants to go back to the pain and cycles of abuse. The last thing in my marriage (infidelity) , was the Last Thing. (for more invaluable help on this particular subject visit chumplady.com)
What I want to tell any newcomers here, is that if you work the program you will find that it IS cumulative! At a certain point, all of the new stuff you learn here kind of builds up until it tips over and flows out, and everything starts to change in amazing ways. Thank you so much Melanie! You shine a light in all the dark corners.
I’m also prompted to write because someone in the comments said that she couldn’t grab hold of the NARP or QFH program because of the muscle testing. I have the earlier version of NARP, with a stream of conscious type introduction to each section by Melanie. I also have the second version with the muscle testing. For me, the first version is better, because of Melanie’s prompts and thoughts, which contain vast amounts of insight, and so much so that you can’t catch them all in one, and why repeating the modules is like opening out origami, insights unfold the more often you do the modules.
So I just want to say that maybe- Melanie- maybe, you ought to have both versions available. I like the ‘extended play’ of the first version. Always by level three, I find myself yawning and relaxing into a new state of mind.
OK, that’s enough from me. My goal this year is to move beyond lingering regrets and self-judgement, and live inside and allow myself to truly feel the outpouring of grace that I have been showered with this past year. Happy New Year to all newcomers!