Do you feel caught in a narcissist-inflicted cycle of abuse?
Which part of the cycle are you at? Is it idolise? Or is it devalue? Or maybe you’ve been discarded?
Each phase is traumatising, deeply so, exactly because they know how to hook into your unhealed trauma and make it hurt.
First, they will purport to fulfil all your dreams and desires and then turn them against you one by one.
In today’s Thriver TV episode I’ll explain to you how to relate these cycles of abuse to the trauma that we are experiencing in our body.
I deeply hope this helps you, by being able to untangle what is going on, so that you can access a faster and much more powerful recovery journey.
Video Transcript
Today, I want to truly help you understand trauma and how it relates to the cycles of narcissistic abuse.
There are three main cycles of narcissistic abuse that are perpetrated on you, these are idolise, devalue and discard. You may have heard about them and studied them.
But how do these cycles relate to the trauma that we are experiencing in our bodies at the time of these stages?
I hope that not only will you find this episode fascinating, but that it will also help grant you vital information regarding your recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Okay, so just before we get started I’d like to thank all of you who have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver Mission and spreading the word that it is now possible to heal for real from narcissistic abuse.
If you haven’t yet subscribed, please do so by clicking the link below this video.
Okay, so now, let’s get started!
The Trauma of “Idolise”
In the love bombing stage of narcissistic abuse, the narcissist is hooking into our past traumas.
Let me explain. These are the traumas of not feeling seen, heard or met.
Maybe, we felt invisible in a family of origin or in previous relationships. Yet, now, the narcissist has turned on the love gushing and attentiveness in such a way that we feel SO “met”. This causes us to feel like a parched person lost in the desert who has just found their oasis.
Narcissists are highly skilled at working out very quickly what has hurt you and what you are missing in your life. They then turn it on to seemingly grant you the rectification and a surplus of these specific things.
Thus, you bond very quickly with this person and let them into your heart, soul and life. It totally is the feeling of having connected with your soul mate.
In relation to a family member, or a work colleague or friend or another connection in your life, the idolise stage is about flattering you or being nice to you in order to groom and mine you to fulfil their own agenda.
Trusting the narcissist is vital for them to secure narcissistic supply, which is the energy from you that allows him or her to feel that they exist.
Possibly, you have experienced deception, betrayal and even adultery in your previous relationships. If a high functioning narcissist realises this, then they can purport to you that honesty, loyalty and monogamy are very important values to them and that they would never hurt you.
Of course, you may feel like you have hit the jackpot!
The same goes if you feel that you have been engulfed, controlled and distrusted previously, and this person seems to grant you space and trust in spades!
Here is this dream person you have been waiting for all your life!
Of course, we can say “How horrible that people dupe people in this way, pretending to be something that they aren’t!” Yet I promise you that thinking you’ve been “duped” equals how to lose regarding taking your power back and generating your safe, loving and healthy life.
As a Thriver, it’s vital to understand that we are responsible for our own boundaries and not to put them in the hands of other people who could be lying to us!
Healing and empowering and shoring up our own lives is never about stopping everybody else from lying, it’s about us being anchored in our loyalty, truthfulness and healthy boundaries to ourselves.
Absolutely, once upon a time, I chose to trust people blindly, even when my Inner Being was flashing extreme warning signs to me.
I ignored the signs because I didn’t want to speak up, rock the boat or risk this person leaving me because I didn’t “trust” them.
Now, as a result of trusting myself, I understand the following truths that apply to all of us regarding the previous traumas that have caused us to be susceptible to pathological and toxic individuals.
These understandings are vital to shore up not being able to lay boundaries or create our healthy and safe truth regardless of what other people are or aren’t doing:
1) If we inwardly meet the traumas from our birth families and previous relationships and heal them, then we will not be susceptible to somebody offering us “being saved” from these traumas. We have already achieved that for ourselves.
2) When we are healed and whole, we can take our time with people and get to know their character before committing our soul, body, life and finances to them.
3) If we have done enough inner work on our traumas, we can be ourselves. Meaning we can easily speak up, have the difficult conversations and be willing to walk away from any person and deal that starts to become unhealthy for us.
Okay now let’s get onto the next stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle.
The Trauma of “Devalue”
In the devaluing stage of narcissistic abuse, the narcissist is triggering our past traumas as well – the traumas of being invalidated, unloved and others not recognising us as good and honest people.
When the narcissist switches from being attentive, loving and caring, into starting to attack the very wounds that we thought that he or she was easing for us, it is intensely painful.
The promise of love, wholeness and safety that we were feeling, is now in dire jeopardy.
In regard to a family member, or any other narcissistic relationship, it’s extremely painful that this person, now, is not treating us how they should.
After feeling seen, heard and met (in the idolise stage) now there is cruel indifference, insults and abandonment.
After once being assured of loyalty and fidelity, we are now incredibly anxious that the narcissist is being disloyal and even adulterous behind our back.
After believing that we are honoured and given space and trusted, the accusations and insinuations start flying. And they cannot be appeased or resolved, no matter what we say or do.
What is happening?
The life that we thought we would be having with this person, or should be having, has turned into a nightmare.
Again, we get horrifically hooked into the insanity of it all, fighting to try to get this person to return to the “wonderful” person who we believe they should be. The harder we try to get them to do this, the worse things get.
So many of us have been there.
I was there too, fighting for accountability, sensibility and kindness that were impossible to get, and experiencing escalating abuse every time I tried.
What is the message in this?
This … the narcissist was never going to stop this behaviour or help us heal because he or she is not the saviour of these traumas.
The narcissist is the messenger of them.
What is it that is getting triggered from within you?
For me it was injustice, invalidation, betrayal and feeling intensely engulfed and distrusted.
These have been traumas which had plagued me all my life, and as a result of narcissistic abuse, they had hit critical mass. They were making me sick; they were breaking me down, they were destroying the fabric of my very Inner Being.
I was being attacked by him with my wounds. They were the bullets that he was using against me.
I had missed this message before. Now it was a whopping great billboard that had almost completely flattened me.
The message is the same as it is for all of us …
Turn inwards and become our own saviour by finding and healing these original traumas that are keeping us hooked into the narcissist trying to force him or her to “do it differently this time”.
The truths to embrace in this stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle are:
1) If we heal the traumas that are being dreadfully triggered in the devaluing stage, then we will emerge unaffected, no longer trying to get the narcissist to stop behaving like this. This is because we are no longer triggered by this person.
2) Then, because this behaviour is no longer our reality, (we no longer have the inner wounding that matches it) we will speak up, lay boundaries and leave if healthy behaviour is not forthcoming.
3) There is no longer a need for “closure”, “accountability” or the narcissist to “get it” or “make amends”. We have taken the gift of our own healing and evolution forward as well as the personal resolution and up-levelling in our life that was necessary.
4) In the future, we can be very quick to reject people who don’t have the resources to have healthy relationships with us. This is because we are no longer playing out the painful unconscious patterns of our old original wounds.
The Trauma of “Discard”
In many ways, this stage of the cycle triggers the most intense and panicked emotions of all.
This is where we come face-to-face with the huge terror of “abandonment”.
This one was enormous for me, as it is for so many of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse.
When I was abandoned by both narcissists, I freaked out. I would feel like I was dying. I would literally shake and even vomit with the terror of being “left to die”.
This deep primal trauma is embedded in so many of us, deeply within our Inner Identity.
When it goes off within us, we may hand over all our rights, values and even soul to try to not be abandoned. We can’t stop going back to the narcissist, even though he or she may be treating us terribly.
This is why, when separating from him or her, despite the horrific abuse, you can’t seem to let go, move on, stop obsessing or believe that you can live without this person.
There can be many deep inner wounds tied up into these feelings, but fundamentally “abandonment wounds” as well as trauma bonding is the reason for this. Such wounds are why it is so hard to stop breaking No Contact or move on from the obsession of what happened to you.
Personally, I know that if I hadn’t turned inwards to find and completely heal my abandonment traumas that I would not be alive today. They were literally killing me.
My heart goes out to so many of you who I know and recognise are dealing with these deep primal wounds as well.
These traumas powerfully hijack your entire being and have a life of their own. Mere logic or any amount of talk therapy and cognitive information can be completely useless in the face of such intense and engulfing urges.
This is what I know is necessary when this critical mass breakdown hits you:
1) Going within with an effective tool to find, load up and release those panicked, powerful traumas in order to go free from them, is what will save you. My NARP Program does this more effectively than anything else I know. It removes the panic and the intense addictive urges to reconnect, allowing you to stay away and safe.
2) Once you are no longer triggered into young and powerless wounds that have been causing you to retain connection to somebody for deep primal needs of survival, then you start to emerge as a healthy and whole self-generative adult force of your life to yourself. (The relief of this is indescribable!)
3) Going forward you are in a much more solid, mature and whole inner emotional position to make healthy choices regarding people and situations and look after yourself no matter who or what other people are doing.
4) This establishes a powerful healthy platform to be attracted to other healthy and whole mature people in your future.
Trauma Recovery is Key
You may have realised that my work is ALL about trauma recovery.
Trauma is responsible for everything in our life that derails us.
Trauma is not our natural state. As humans, we think that it is normal because it has been a normal part of the traumatic human experience, but in no way is it natural.
Trauma is not Who We Really Are.
The experience of narcissistic abuse and its three cycles are all about forcing us to our knees to go within to face and release ourselves from the trauma that has been causing us to have less than humane, fulfilling and safe interpersonal experiences.
When we emerge as trauma free, we are able to make healthy and empowered choices, that eliminate unhealthy people and situations from our life.
I hope that this has helped inspire you to know that there is a way out, no matter what stage of the cycle of narcissistic abuse that you’re in.
If this deeply resonates with you, I would love you to check out my NARP program, which to date, humbly, is the most effective trauma releasing and healing system that I know of to move you up and beyond narcissistic abuse.
As well as anything else that you feel plagued and stuck with.
You can learn more about NARP by clicking this link.
And, as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.
I am in the discard phase. It has been an extremely traumatic 2 years 9 months. I can’t believe still this man I lived with for 25 years and had 3 kids with will never communicate. He will just not speak. I am treated worse than dirt on his shoe. He has a new supply who like me does not know who this person is. I am a kind caring person and tried reasoning with him. I got terribly upset about the coldness of him. I always thought you should try and get on for the sake of our kids but no more. I can look in the mirror and see a face that’s old, I’m poorer by a long way, carrying more weight and am very lonely but I am kind caring and strong and know that I am happy that I have put my kids first and that they know I love them. He can not so he is not worth me trying to even think about him. That life is over. I just wish I could find a bit more inner strength
Do Narp…..why are you holding back
I’m not sure why. I guess I feel I should be able to get through this myself but it has floored me.
Hi Helen,
I’m so sorry that you are going through so much trauma right now. Of course, this is horrifyingly painful.
Helen, please know that you can release this trauma and go free from it. The ongoing suffering does not need to happen, I promise you.
Please Helen come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so that you can experience real somatic relief in your body, brought about as a result of the clarity that you will obtain as well as the Quanta Freedom Healing that you will experience.
There truly is a way up and out of this.
So much love to you and yours
Mel 🙏💕💚
This is amazing I have been in a relationship woth a narcissist for 3.5 years and it has been exactly this scenario!
Amazing how powerful your childhood foundation is so key… such a spring for your success in everything as an adult!
That is so true Nikki!
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
You can do this, Helen! You are stronger than you think.
Sounds to me as though you already have become a stronger person
These videos/transcripts do make sense of what a narcissist is all about, and how you can heal. So I recommend them.
I made a boo boo. I started dating who I suspected could be a narcissist. Well he was a clone of overt,covert. Evil man. Anyway, I was so proud. I got out of his sphere with my bunny slippers on. Nothing like being on a bus with you pjs on. I felt elated. My book is almost done. This is a mission. Too bad my psychologist doesn’t get it. Well, you do. I will be in Australia in a few month when this lockdown is over. Hope you will be doing something.
Warning, I did suffer flashbacks around this person. They throw you backward.
wow, its almost as if I wrote this. 31/2 years, 20 years, 2 kids. All the rest is basically the same. Except he has turned my kids against me. However, I refuse to give up and one day they will know the truth. I too, pray everyday for more inner strength, more confidence. It seems to come with time. Hopefully doing some of the inner work will speed it along! Its better to be poor, overburdened and lonely than to show your children abuse of any kind is ok.
I to am going through this ,but the worst is my 14 year old son has been turned against me,that’s the killer part,I believe he will want to be with his dad,and he now acts as mean as him it’s very disturbing.I loved my son and revolved my whole life around him and all of a sudden he hates me.
Hi Katie,
sending you big love and hugs.
And that there will be healing and restoration for you and your son.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Helen, I hear you. I hate to admit but I was with him 46 years!
I am in the discard phase and it is truly traumatic. I was with him for 14years and I recently foundout he was cheating with another woman for three years who he is now publicly claiming. He still tries to call randomly but I think I’m so trauma bonded to him that no contact seems really hard at points. I’m struggling to find peace in dealing with this situation although I know letting go is best.
Ri, just let him go, unless you have kids. You will gradually get better to be in control of your own actions. I agree, trauma bonding is very hard to break. Try to keep a journal and record your progress. I feel for their next victims, but it is very hard to convince another woman that NPD is involved with this man. All the best success to you.
Hi Ri,
This phrase is incredibly traumatic, as is being replaced. It’s just awful.
Ri, please know that there is a way to obtain relief from this … that works.
I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to learn more about Quanta Freedom Healing and NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and how this can get you on a direct and powerful path of true healing.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Yes, the trauma bonding is a serious issue, especially for empathetic co dependent souls like myself, beautiful, educated, talented and too stupid not to see the snake that was the narcissist. I really crave some feedback. I was engaged to a prisoner in AZ from 2/5/2019 and we published it on his facebook. He told me he got checks from friends, with congrats. Of course, being a party in the engagement of 2 persons, I got nothing. Today I got a cold call from a contact of his, a woman who assured me he had to interest in him, yeah, right, that he wants his writings back he sent, unsolicted to my address. I cannot go to the Post Office, and need $ for postage. I also got sucked into sending him over $500.00 to his commissary for food, which in letters he’d assured me he would pay me back. I realize now, and warn anyone in a pen pal or long distance relationship, to please stay woke to the N’s ruses, cloaks and daggers. He figured he had plenty of time to woo me out of money, but I began to see the stages early on and rejected him and he begged me back. Narc’s, never underestimate their cruelty behind the charm, they are toxic snakes.I allowed myself to connect with him out of loneliness. Now I’m working on no contact, and it’s working. He will never admit to his disorder, and it is true if you have been supply to one of them, even negative feedback is supply to them, giving them power over your emotions. Thank you, Melanie, for this information you give us, I just wish your materials were not so expensive. I understand the trauma bonding now, it’s like an unconscious addiction, acquired in childhood or later in life through bad relationships. Love ourselves, love those who are worthy, and empaths, work on yourself, the narc is unfixable and will stay broken his or her entire life. My encouragement to all to keep fighting against abuse, expose it, and love and pamper yourself through the difficult days, especially now. Thank you for reading. My hope is some of my shared experience with a prisoner in the USA will strike a chord with someone and raise the alarm.. To be forewarned is to be armed. In the end, after the discards, devaluation and smearing to his or her friends, the one who got away, the awake one, is truly the victor, not the victim.
Hi Mary,
you’re very welcome regarding this information.
Mary, are you aware that NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp can be paid off in small monthly installments, that it comes with a full moneyback guarantee and it is an ongoing support system and resource connected with a powerful community to help you 24/7 for life?
All of which comes completely free as an ongoing service?
Mary, many of us spent tens of thousands of dollars in therapy throughout the years trying to survive this and get some relief. Many of us have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in the fallout of the shocking relationships.
Many of us spent thousands of dollars on trying to survive our abuse symptoms with ongoing medications and treatments because we weren’t able to release the trauma and go free from it.
Countless others have missed the abundance and prosperity of their true potential being realised, as a result of their own emotional and physical resources being tied up in trying to survive the inner trauma.
A few hundred dollars is an incredibly small price to pay to claim your soul and entire life back. And there is no risk for you to become involved in the NARP community. You can receive a full refund if it doesn’t work for you.
The other incredible benefit is as soon as you start releasing trauma, well-being and abundance can enter. The comebacks that most people make in their lives as a result of working with NARP, financially as well as emotionally, is stunning and priceless.
I hope I have encouraged you to truly value yourself, your soul and your life.
I’m so pleased that you understand the trauma bonding now, and please know that NARP is an incredibly effective way to be released from it, and reclaim YOU, quickly and powerfully.
That’s when your real life can be free to begin.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank You so much for what you are doing Melanie. I was so confused about what was going on in my relationship until I found your videos. They helped me so much to make sense of why my husband was treating me the way he was, which was killing me slowly. They gave me the strength to get him out of my life, and to keep no contact even though it has been hard. Every time I feel weak I work with your healing program or watch some of your tv and it always helps me to find my way again. It is a hard journey but your help in understanding and healing is so, so appreciated.
I ThankYou.
Hi Autumn,
it’s totally my pleasure.
I’m so pleased that you are turning inwards and working with NARP.
Keep going sweetheart, you are doing a wonderful job. You are moving into Lifeforce and your truth.
Many blessings to you and sending you love and healing
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie,
I came across your stuff several months ago, a couple months after I had been discarded. The discard happened exactly 2 weeks before our wedding, thank god!!! I love your materials so much, and I just started your program, which I am also loving. I feel extremely blessed in that while I was with the narcissist, a little over 3 years, I was also in a program of recovery from addiction. As I kept growing and learning, I was getting glimpses of what you are talking about, but I couldn’t trust my intuition and had no way to conceptualize what was happening. Once he left, despite the initial shock and pain, I knew immediately this was my chance to level up, if I had the courage to do that. So I started immediately trying to change so that I would not find myself seeking out false relief by taking him back, or from others. Thank you so much for your program, it is helping so much, I know intuitively it is exactly what I need ❤️
Hi Dana,
on my goodness gosh you really did dodge a bullet!
I love that you are enjoying my materials and the NARP program.
That is awesome that NARP is helping you breakthrough so much.
Sending you continued love, healing and blessings
Mel 🙏💕💚
Honestly I think I do have a severe abandonment wound…
And actually I think this wound causes people to abandon me but because I would repell actually them.
I‘m not even sure if my ex is a narcissist or I am or I’m codependent. I’m actually confused about all these stories I hear and read.
But what I seriously struggle with is not feeling supported when it comes to my emotional needs and feeling abandoned also as a mother of our child. A part from the abandonment issue which really makes me feel I die or breakdown, I have an issue being a single mum now and feeling overtaxed with no emotional support.
And the Corona Virus makes it harder as most people are at their limits, nobody would just be there… And the most I feel, man, I just want a hug, I don’t want to have to be strong all the time, just allow me to cry on your shoulder.
I’m not asking you to take away my pain or solve anything, just hold space so I can release those tears in a save environment and feel seen and accepted even when I’m not strong at times.
I called him lately and told him: Listen I’m really overtaxed and I’m afraid to traumatize our child, she‘s your responsibility too, so have you got an idea how we could solve this.
He actually said: If you want to know what to do turn to God or your soul and ask, don’t ask me.
I’m actually traveling with our child right now.
I didn’t ran off, he even encouraged me, just saying that he can’t leave but thinks it’s the right thing to do… And he said he would come visit us and blabla.
After I left he said: YOU just ran off!
Somehow I did, because I was looking to get away from this painful relationship and go far away as to not fall back all the time, cause that’s what happened many times. And as he‘s the father of my child it’s harder to go no contact.
And when I’m breaking down I have no one to take care of my child, cause I don’t even have family around and no one who could take her for longer than a couple of hours.
So he’s the only one I can call and at least he took her out on the weekends sometimes while mostly she comes back quite confused and I have a hard time with her after.
So, I hoped to find some kind of community on our journey but actually even ecovillages and Communities closed their doors these days.
I have the luck to live in some families guesthouse for the time being and they babysit sometimes but I start to feel stuck in a situation that depresses me more and more.
He actually told me if we come back we can live
at a house he lives now for the first time. He said: I spoke to the people here and everyone who seeks love is welcome. But if someone is not centered or grounded, he might get alone time in isolation or will be allowed to leave.
Maybe I‘m crazy but I freaked out and told him:
I prefer to sleep under the bridge than to come to you love and light people, making me feel even worse, while I’m just having a hard time, feel overtaxed, burnt out, sad and lonely with no real support!
That’s not the victim role, (of which he blames me,) it’s just fact!
And I won’t let you guys put me to isolation prison or throw me out just because I don’t match your frequency right now!
I got so pissed!!!
Maybe I’m a crazy freak and I should be able to handle this situation with calm and ease but I can’t.
Hey Yasmin
It’s your life and it’s your decision on how you live your life and what you do with it, no one will make you do anything nor will they judge you. People are her to help and or encourage those who are struggling.
What I see is a toxic relationship, nothing else matters, Personality disorders or a clash of personality without disorder. Leave diagnoses alone for the moment.
You have mentioned your fears and inner wounds of being abandoned. You also have explained that you are reacting to your fears of being abandoned and that’s not healthy for you. My personal opinion is to focus on that fear And the wound attached to it and heal it. There are many ways to heal wounds, from NARP to psychology to life coaches. Find one that works for you.
You speak of being drained, if your not putting anything into yourself there will be nothing in there. I suggest finding something that makes you feel good about yourself from exercise to cooking or fixing things in the garage. Something you are good at or something you can learn that you would find a personal achievement. Motivational speakers are really good to listen too as well. Helping us spin the negatives into positives.
You seem very defensive towards the end of your post, for the most part you are an a safe place to share your story and I’m sorry that you feel the need right now to be defensive. Please understand that you are somebody and you are welcomed and wanted. You matter, your story matters and one day your story will help others to heal too but right now is your time to find a way to build yourself up by your own strength and heal yourself, no one can do that for you, it has to be you.
I know some of this may be difficult to hear but I hope you can draw something constructive from it.
I wish you well on your journey, We all do. I hope the next few months will be amazing transformation for you.
Yasmin, I am simply a man in California who doesn’t know you. However, I am a fellow human being sharing this time on our planet together “with” you (though you may be on the other side of the world).
I offer you a virtual hug, though you will never physically feel it, I hope you feel it through the Internet.
I offer you something like a beacon of light from a lighthouse, as while it may be distant and fleeting, that safe harbor is ahead. Stay on course, you can and will get there.
A man in California
Hi Melanie, I have been reading all you emails and watched your utube videos. They are inspiring and has kept me going on. I stay in South Africa and I am currently in lockdown due to the Corina Virus. It has actually been a blessing because I broke all contact with the narc just prior to lockdown. He has however already obtained a new supply just before I forced no contact. I really hurts so bad. I dread seeing him and his new supply. We all work together. My mother also is a narc and my dad was her co-dependant. My financial position however is non-existing. I work for myself and due to the lockdown has no income at all. I know I read about financial assistance in one of your emails, but cannot find it. Can you please let me know regarding this.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Anna
Hi Anna,
my heart goes out to you and sending you love and strength in this time of incredible challenge.
Yes, absolutely Anna please reach out to my support team at [email protected] and enquire about sponsorship for my NARP program.
I hope that this can help
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you So much Melanie for allowing us to join you on your Journey of Healing and thriving and not just keeping it all to yourself, i think the price of the NARP programme is So cheap, as what Price could one put on a life of Peace and Freedom, if it wasn’t for you and your Programme i would probably be caught up in another narsistic relationship just going around and around in circles, but now I’m living the most Amazing Peaceful productive life, Blessings Col
Hi Col,
I’m just so thrilled that you broke through and your life feels so great!
Continued love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie
I need help. I will check out the Narp programme
I am in the “being discarded ” phase of the cycle and keep thinking I’m Ok
My latest problem is not believing that I tolerated this abuse for 33 years. Separated now over 2 years, she has filed for divorce under unreasonable behaviour after 31 years of marriage.
I keep getting flashbacks fitting the subject topics and feel ashamed with myself for not setting personal boundaries although my ex was diagnosed with MS over 25 years ago and even now is healthier than me. I felt that I couldn’t abandon her so tolerated an awful marriage kept together with the help anti depressants and I had no care for my personal health which I hoped would kill me off quickly.
I need help to become independent and recognise why I am so co-dependent and do no set appropriate boundaries
I hope I can be fixed before it’s too late
Hi Kevin,
please know Dear Man that the flashbacks are such a part of this, the re-occurring and reliving of the traumas.
These are simply symptoms, including everything else that you are struggling with right now, of the trapped internal traumas.
NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp helps you bypass the obsessional loop in the mind, and the triggered state, to go deeply inside, load up and release these traumas to deliver you back to well-being.
I promise you with all of my heart that it is never too late, and the sooner you start working with NARP, the sooner you will start getting relief, clarity and your power back.
Please also know that there is incredible support with the NARP Community, including wonderful guys who you will be able to connect to.
I hope that this inspires you to get started, sooner rather than later, for your sanity and release!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Helen,
I know the feeling when you just can’t believe that this person was not real … it was all fake for me it was 35 years . I think that is the hardest part , I saw signs but never could I have imagined in my wildest dreams that people like that existed in this world . He left 1 year now and was brutally cruel. My daughter saw him recently and he doesn’t even look the same. I know it’s because he has morphed into someone else to suit his new role. I pray and cry at times for the death of the person I always wanted him to be, do my NARP healings and it helps to bring sanity to this craziness.
Love your kids but take this time to love you ,because you are beautiful and certainly deserve it and always have. You will be amazed when you actually start to find yourself and discover the things that really matter to you and how much he was actually trying to take it away from you. It’s really a work in progress.
Be thankful that he doesn’t communicate it would only trigger your pain.You are lucky and strong because you are alive and finally have a chance at happiness.
Wishing you continued strength and courage …one baby step at a time.💕
After 12.5 horrendous years, he has left me for yet another woman… though denied it, even when I had proof. It’s been truly horrific with all the lies, deception, screaming and abuse. Am exhausted… I’m not sure what stage this is… I guess abandonment… xo
Hi Yvette,
my heart goes out to you, and I really want you to know that there is a way to heal for real from this.
Please come into my upcoming Free Masterclass http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass where I can explain to you how to heal from what you have had to endure for so long.
Sending love and strength to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
This Article says it All! The trauma of “Idolise” reminds me of Something Eckhart said “They are cut off from Being, so they unconsciously attempt to get energy and power from you. It is true that only an unconscious person will try to use or manipulate others, but it is equally true that only an unconscious person can be used or manipulated”. We were not duped.
Thank You Melanie!