An elderly narcissist without narcissistic supply can be very difficult to be around.
Maybe you are wondering if they will mellow with age or whether you are finally going to see Karma make amends for all the horrible things they have done to you.
What is the fate of an ageing narcissist?
Wanting to know this is normal and TOTALLY understandable!
In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am excited to share with you the TRUTH about what is going on with narcissists as they age.
People ask this question a lot.
They want to know…
‘Does their behaviour improve?’
‘Do they mellow or do they get worse?’
‘What is their fate as they age?’
These are all such great questions, and in today’s TTV episode I’m really looking forward to answering them for you.
But before I do, I want to thank each and everyone who has subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet subscribed, please do so. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Alright, let’s get started.
Unconsciousness Creates Big Cracks
This is what I believe about living unconsciously – lack of integration and peace with Self will show up in one’s life.
We know narcissists shove and plunder their way through life in conscienceless ways, taking by charm or force or manipulation other people’s energies and resources to feed their insatiable False Selves.
On the surface it may seem like they are having a wonderful time – prospering even.
But are they really?
I used to believe that the ex-narcissist in my life had it all, much of it at my expense, and was even thriving, whilst my life was stripped bare, with no hope of recovery.
Now I know what a grand illusion that was.
Because, after my own soul recovery and self-partnering to come home to me, I now know how agonising it is to be disconnected from Self and not being integrated and at peace.
And this is regardless of what stuff, results and successes are achieved.
For the narcissist – stuff and people are ‘things’, mere commodities, that are only attempts at self-medicating away the pain that is the narcissist’s constant inner trauma. But no achievements, people or things can ever resolve this trauma.
I love what George Carlin said, which supports this idea: ‘Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.’
This is the thing – the narcissist is always hungry and never satisfied. Their actions are the urges of a disordered egoic self that is insecure, empty and self-loathing. It is the ‘always trying to seek salvation’ from outside of self, rather than self-partnering and healing oneself back to inner wholeness.
It is a never-ending, fruitless hamster wheel with no way off, that they are on.
The narcissist has crossed the line into being out of alignment with inner authenticity.
He or she lies, schemes and has agendas. And every time the narcissist is not operating from a place of inner and solid truthfulness, he or she is damaging the integrity of their inner being even more.
The narcissistic personality grows in intensity, and as it grows so does the need for more lies and falsities, to cover a fictitious life.
The damage of a life lived out of integrity means that there is always another responsibility to avoid, bullet to dodge, scheme to hatch, and another source to groom because of the inevitable destruction of the current one.
Losing the Ability to Get Narcissistic Supply
Mining the acclaim, notoriety, attention, and energy from others, to buffer the narcissist’s empty inner self with significance, takes a lot of effort.
This is a delicate balancing act for a narcissist.
As a hugely insecure person, who requires a BIG feed of narcissistic supply to escape the inner torment of feeling unworthy, empty and insignificant, narcissists need to be effective when it comes to the amount of energy expended for the harvest reaped.
As narcissists get older, they start losing charm, energy and ways to get narcissistic supply.
When the glory days start fading into the background, and they lose their ability to garnish supply, narcissists traditionally take it out on the people who are still attached.
In relation to ageing narcissists, this could be their spouse or a child, who they have groomed to dump their anger on and have made responsible for their needs and abuse.
If this is your plight – I’d really love you to watch my video ‘How To Handle an Elderly Narcissist’ so that you can understand how to take your power back and heal from being abused in this way.
An Elderly Narcissist Without Narcissistic Supply
This really is the same as a sick narcissist who can’t get narcissistic supply. When they run low or empty, without their primary drug of choice – the attention and significance that self-medicates away the inner pain of being themselves – narcissists can become totally delusional, manic, unreasonable, abusive and, quite frankly, may go insane.
Their mask may drop completely, leaving their disorder front and centre for all to see.
He or she may throw all caution to the wind and attempt frenetically, and even pathetically, to try to get narcissistic supply.
It is a shock when you see an elderly narcissist unravel in this way, and become a shadow of their former fictitious self. And it is when they age that the truth always, eventually, comes out.
I believe we die as we live. A life authentically lived, shows the successful results even in declining years. Whereas a life lived as a False Self, ends up where it was always going to go – a fall from grace that never was real in the first place.
As Narcissists Age Does Karma Pay Them Back?
The answer to this question is ‘yes’. However, despite any acquisition or outer appearances, it is important to know that the narcissist’s karma – the intense emotional disintegration and pain from living a life out of alignment with self, life and others, is ever present.
One’s soul is not durably happy as a result of ‘getting’. Every soul can only reach wholeness as a result of ‘being’. The state of the inner beingness of a narcissist is disastrous; their emotions being ever reliant on the precariousness of obtaining narcissistic supply, are damaged and unstable.
As narcissists age, their out-of-alignment disintegration often extends to health issues as well as emotional and mental delusions. It’s also common for them to have financial disasters, as they lose the ability to hold up the house of cards that their life really was. Family and friends often turn away from them in droves – especially as the mask falls.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard exactly those reports.
Let me just share this true-life story that encapsulates all of this.
A friend of mine had a narcissistic father who was a high roller – throughout his life he owned Sunshine Coast penthouses, fancy cars and married several, much younger, women.
As an old man in his 80’s, he married a young Asian lady. This lady got him to build her a home overseas and then divorced him. She kept the lot.
He returned to Australia with Parkinson’s Disease and dementia, and was under surveillance in the nursing home because of his inappropriate, and often nasty, behaviour toward staff and other patients.
His phone was confiscated because he constantly went on dating and gambling apps.
This narcissistic man ended up with nothing but humiliation, shame, and failure, and his family only visiting him when it was absolutely necessary.
If you know of an ageing narcissist who has fallen from grace, please pause this video and share the information below.
Bringing Our Focus Back to Healing Ourselves Rather Than Focusing on Narcissists
Of course, I understand why you are asking this question about ageing narcissists.
Maybe you have an elderly narcissist in your life, who is driving you crazy.
Or possibly you have been hurt so much by a narcissist in your life, you are wondering how their life will turn out – and dearly hope it won’t be good.
But I really want to invite you to take your focus off the narcissist and firmly on healing yourself. And I’m asking you to do this so that you will not only break free from the terrible affliction of narcissistic abuse, and enter the trajectory of your True Self and True Life, but also so that your life will in no way be conditional on what does or doesn’t happen to the narcissist as he or she ages.
Truly he or she is in emotional hell every second of every day – there is nothing to envy here!
I know that you may be feeling like you too are in a total emotional hurricane, with no way out, and that your life could be horrific, on many levels, as you age. I promise you this doesn’t have to be your reality at all.
Unlike the narcissist, who is not going to turn inwards and start generating his or her only REAL emancipation and healing from emotional trauma, which is achieved regularly in this Community by doing the Quantum Inner Work – you can.
And once you do this, you truly won’t care less about what does or doesn’t happen to the narcissist. You will know that your highest mission is always about honouring your inner being and health.
When you get that part of it right, I promise you that you will no longer be shackled by the guilt, obligation, and pain that may have been allowing a narcissist to suck you dry.
It’s then that your True Self and True Life can begin – no matter what age you are or what you have lost as a result of narcissistic abuse.
To help you truly understand what I’m saying I want to share this resource, which I’d love you to watch: What To Do If You Feel Like You’re Too Old To Recover From Abuse.
Okay, so if it is time to heal, to let go of wondering and claim your resurrection freedom and joy – come join me.
Because I will show you how in time frames and ways that you did not even know were possible. To do this, simply click on this link.
I so hope this video has helped.
And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.
Latest posts by Melanie Tonia Evans (see all)
- 7 Steps To Getting Healthy After Narcissistic Abuse - December 5, 2019
- 3 Ways To Get Any Narcissist To Leave You Alone - December 2, 2019
- How To Deal With A Smear Campaign Without Losing Your Sanity - November 28, 2019