Video Transcript
So many of you have often asked me, how can I help my child who is now isolated and controlled by the narcissistic spouse?
Or maybe your sister, brother or dear friend is hopelessly enmeshed with a narcissist abusing them at work, in a love relationship or even in a friendship.
You may be beyond concerned that the person you care about isn’t waking up to this and seems to be slipping further and further away from you.
Maybe you have grandchildren that you don’t see anymore because of a narcissistic in-law.
How can you help the person you love who is deeply in the clutches of narcissistic abuse?
In today’s TTV episode I explain to you the only way I know that works and does work to help your loved ones recover from this.
But before we get started on this episode, I’d like to thank each and every one of you who have subscribed to my channel and supported the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet done so please do, and also give this episode a thumbs up if it resonates with you.
Okay, so now on to this very important information.
The Deeper and Necessary Understanding of Quantum Law
There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing the people whom we love suffer. There is nothing more frustrating and unjust than seeing them ripped away from us by a pathological narcissist.
What is doubly frustrating is the more we try to talk sense to the person we love, the more they can pull away from us and even side with the narcissist.
You may be agonising over why this is happening, but what I always like to do is to just get down to the pure truth of things – which is this:
Whichever way we are powerfully emotionally vibrating about anything (including somebody we care about), is exactly the experience that we will have in our personal experience.
Let me put it to you simply. If you feel that someone in your life is being emotionally smashed, abused and isolated from you, then that is the experience you will continue to Quantumly generate in your life.
This is especially true if you see this person as broken and powerless.
Now, before you think that I am blaming you for the experience that they are having, please hear me out. I am not blaming you in any shape or form, I am just explaining how energetic law and true manifesting takes place.
It is a human and beautiful part of our nature to deeply care for, be concerned about and have compassion for those whom we love. Yet, when you understand Quantum Law, you will realise that this is not necessarily helping those you love get better and get away from toxic circumstances.
Rather, it contributes to them being deeply stuck.
To truly help those you love requires a deeper understanding of Quantum Law, which I am beyond inspired to share with you. In order to be able to help, you need to know the actual steps to Quantumly – which means for real – help the person who is not, at this point, helping themselves.
So, let’s dive in and get started.
Step Number One: Acceptance
The greatest barrier to us trying to change our life experience, including the experience of others we care about, is resistance to what is happening in the present moment.
Of course, from the human perspective, we judge what is happening to them as ‘wrong’. Yet, by doing so, we are not understanding the grand design deeper truth of their soul’s evolution and journey.
I personally believe 100% that there is a reason for ‘all of it’, meaning that anyone’s personal evolution is about calling forth and participating in the experiences that are going to make their unconscious programs conscious, and lead them inwards to healing and resolving what is necessary in order to generate a different life experience.
That is exactly what happened to us regarding our own narcissistic abuse which then led us to entering and activating our Thriver Recovery.
When you can take the evolutionary high road of understanding that what your loved one is going through is a necessary transaction for their own personal awakening and evolution, then your deepest wish is not so much for that experience to be removed or brought to an end, but for their soul to awaken and become empowered, self-loving and self-defining within the experience.
And, when you truly love another, then you will bless the experience and not make it so personally about yourself.
How often have we wanted to try to force somebody to change in order for us to feel better?
Usually, if we are honest with ourselves, this is the case. It is understandable and even intensely loving towards others, yet it defies getting a positive result from Quantum Law, as much as trying to defy a natural law such as gravity would be.
It is impossible to generate a change in your life experience by trying to change something outside of you, including somebody you love, in order for you to feel better.
What is much more likely to happen as per Quantum Law – so within, so without – is that this person you are trying to rescue from their situation will supply you more evidence of the inner emotional experience that you are already having. Namely, them not being well.
There is only one way to change your experience of anything or anyone, and that is to find the way to feel better about ‘what is’ so as to create the base foundation to go emotionally inward to then create a different experience that will spill out and have an influence on the outer experience.
This starts with acceptance.
A powerful mantra that you can say often in regard to this person who is being abused by a narcissist is, ‘I bless and accept your experience as sacred. No matter what it looks like, I know that it is offering you the highest possible evolutionary path that your soul yearns for.’
Step Number Two: Shifting Your Emotional Response
You have to know that trying to go in and change things, whilst you feel devastated for this person, is not going to work.
If anything, you run the risk of pushing them further away from you and more into the arms of the abuser.
There is a better way to deal with this, and the great thing is that it is activated by working on the only person that you do have the power to change – yourself. And, you can be totally available for this mission.
This is how it works …
By fully understanding and accepting that the way that you create change for yourself and others you care about, is by changing yourself. This doesn’t mean changing the way that you interact with them, even though this is a natural by-product of this … rather it means completely changing your inner emotional composition about this person and what they are going through.
Let me explain to you what I mean with this example.
A NARP member called Gail was devastated that her daughter who was married to a narcissist, was becoming more and more isolated from her and the rest of the family.
To add insult to injury, Gail’s daughter had three children under the age of ten whom Gail adored. Her ability to visit her grandchildren was getting reduced, as she continually received opposition and excuses. Gail knew that her daughter was being twisted and turned against her and her husband by her daughter’s husband.
Gail wrote into me asking me what she could do. I related to her the only solution I have ever known to work. I invited Gail to join NARP and start using the healings to target the traumas in her body regarding what her daughter was going through and how it was impacting Gail.
Gail put in the hard work with NARP and kept moving these terrible traumas in her body and shifting them out, until peace replaced the previous fear and anxiety.
Gail reached the place which we all do, on any topic in our life, when we work with the Quanta Freedom Healing processes of NARP; where the trauma was released, truth entered.
Gail realised that her daughter was going through a soul growth lesson with this man, and she also realised that everybody involved including the children, herself and the family were also going through their own personal evolution as a result of this.
Gail knew that her true power to assist in this solution was to accept that everything was in perfect and divine order, and then to powerfully contribute by shifting herself to ‘feel’ and ‘know’ that her daughter had an infinitely wise Inner Being who could also wake up to the truth.
The more Gail did this work, the more she was able to let go and allow, and keep working on herself to hold her daughter in this emotional vibration.
What happened next is what happens next in virtually every circumstance – Gail’s daughter approached her only a few weeks later. She asked her mother for help to take herself and the children in because she was divorcing her husband.
The spell had been broken.
Gail’s daughter also started working with NARP so as to detox the narcissistic husband out of her system, parent and create healthy powerful boundaries. By doing this, he lost the advantage of her previous fear to abuse her with. She also set up powerful parallel parenting plans.
I know 100%, because I’ve seen it happen so many times in other people’s lives as well as in my life with my own son Zac, that if Gail had stayed in the same emotional devastation that she was previously in, none of this would have happened.
If you want your life to change regarding the people you love, then you need to become the change that you seek, from the inside out.
Step Number Three: Replace Blame and Resentment With Love
One of the most vital transitions you need to go through to help the people whom you love is to stop blaming and shaming them. It’s very common and of course understandable, to be angry and upset with this person you love for turning their back on you or siding with the narcissist against you.
Many people get confused regarding boundaries versus resentment. To help somebody awaken and re-enter your life, and their own life healthily, you must engage the power of love. Which means seeing and holding them in love without any personal hurt of your own being involved.
You may have to work really hard at this with NARP in order to shift out all vestiges of blame, resentment and hurt.
Remember, love heals, resentment hinders.
This does not mean drop your boundaries. If the person whom you love is infiltrating and damaging your boundaries, then enforce them, lovingly and directly and honestly.
That is what real love does. You are not loving another honestly by forfeiting your boundaries and hurting yourself to try to make them happy or love you. That’s a false love economy.
Let me share with you the following example.
Don is another NARP member who was doing the inner work regarding his son being in business with a very toxic narcissist determined to keep him away from Don and the family.
Yet, his son would come to Don to borrow money because of his business losses. The interactions went like this, every few months or so Don’s son made contact, but it was only about money. At all other times, he refused to be in contact with the family.
Before working with NARP, Don used to grant money to his son to try to stay in contact, yet after working with NARP and losing his trauma about what was happening with his son, Don started saying ‘No’.
Predictably all contact stopped and was unanswered when Don and his wife would reach out.
However, Don kept working with NARP as instructed to release all his guilt and obligation and trauma and just kept bringing in the highest possibility of resolution, which was his son awakening into his own infinite inner wisdom, thus evolving beyond the abuse.
It’s what happened – Don’s son left his business partner, returned to the family fold and started taking legal action against the narcissist.
Having to Work With This Differently
Until you understand Quantum Law, you may think that what I am talking about is some new-age fluffy theory.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Our own awakening is to realise how intrinsically and powerfully our own emotional energy is connected to the entire field; especially to those we are bonded to through love.
I know that so many of you in the community are reporting to me that you are really ‘getting it’. There is such a big difference between receiving information and fully embodying it as truth. The latter is what grants you power.
If you are really getting this, I want you to pause this video and write below ‘the cells of my body really get this!’
Until now you may not have realised that through your care and concern you have actually been adding to the situation rather than resolving it. This is why you need to learn to go about this in a different way, and I know that you will be stunned and shocked (beautifully) when you start working at this from the inside out.
In the only way that can truly work – Quantumly.
I can’t recommend enough becoming a NARP member to help those who you love. The wonderful by-product is that, not only will you discover how much you can genuinely assist them, you will also discover your own unlimited expansion, resolutions and breakthroughs that previously only seemed to be a life dream.
To become a NARP member click this link.
And, if you enjoyed this video, and would like to be notified each time a new episode is released, then make sure that you subscribe to receive all of my updates.
Also, please share this episode with those you know who are agonising over what is happening to the people they love.
As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.
I have done some brief work with this program and it has helped a great deal in my personal and professional life! I am joining it again and very excited about making wonderful changes this year. This woman rocks!
That’s a great Ron!
That’s wonderful that you are recommitting to NARP.
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells in my body really get this.
Thank you
Hi Sadie,
that’s awesome!
Sending love and power to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m having difficulty ordering your. Materials and signing up for the NARP. Course. I want to do this via my computer or phone , I’m stuck
Will someone please guide me through the process ? Thank u
I can be reached via email
Betsy
Hi Betsy,
I will get one of my support staff to contact you and help you as soon as possible.
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells in my body really get this! I’m sorry Ron! The web site would not let me leave a comment for some reason all I can do is reply to yours but I really wanted to let Melanie know how much she means to me and how much she has helped me. I have finally divorced my narc after 18 years but my son is now involved in almost the same relationship that I was in. It breaks my heart bc I do have so much guilt bc I am supposed to be his role model. He is suffering even worse abuse than I did and he will not leave and this episode has helped me. Thank you!
Hi Tracey,
I’m sure Ron will feel honoured!
In regard to your son … you will now be able to help him powerfully.
Absolutely…
Much love to you both
Mel 🙏💕💛
‘the cells of my body really get this!’
Yay Els,
Bless!
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells of my Body Really get this! I have seen this kind of things release 3 of the six people that I love. Half of them are left. I began NARPing and quite unintentionally a dear friend of mine was released from the clutches of a Narc. But unfortunately I ended up having to leave the life of the dearest love of my life because the Narc was crashing through my boundaries by using him. While I am not seeing Narcs show up in MY life because I walk away form them, apparently I keep attracting co-dependent people who lack the ability to be self-loving and self-defining. When they ask me to love them or define them, I still have to walk away even as much as I would for the Narc. For I cannot be or do that for them.
Mel -are you suggesting that we say this to ourselves when our thoughts go to the pain of the people we love? “I bless and accept your experience as sacred…… offering you….” Or do you suggest that we actually say this to them when they come to us to have us rescue them from the Narc?
I have a dear friend who calls me and expresses anger. He is precluded from expressing anger where he lives as an adult with his parents. We had a full-time face-to-face relationship. But now we are bi-costal and just call each other and barely have our schedules sync up. I want to tell him that it is ok for him to allow himself to feel angry. I remind him that we have to be prepared to feel what we mean to heal. But I am not sure he wants to heal it. He said he wants to live in the anger. Am I enabling him to live and stay in his anger by giving him a safe place (just talking to me) to feel and express it?
Interestingly the three people whom I have seen released from the Narc I wasn’t really working for them in NARP in the bonus module as I have the other two out of three. One I am just so devastated, I can’t even go there yet. How do you suggest we get to a place where we do see them as coming into their own wisdom. When I module about this….. you, Mel won’t be surprised to know that it too often comes back around to something I feel about myself. But where do I go from there? Go off to another module to deal with that? Finish the module I am doing? Take about 360 days off of work, hire someone to clean the house and grocery shop and cook and iron and launder so I can keep moduling….. just kidding.
Hi Kelly Rose,
that’s great that they do!
I would suggest saying something else to people when they try to lean on you to rescue them. This would involve having a very honest conversation about how you can’t rescue them, and you need to honour yourself and have healthy boundaries. Also, you could say to this person that the most loving thing that you could do is empower them to help themselves, which is to grant them some directions and resources and then step back so that they can go and do that work.
It’s so wonderful Kelly Rose that you have evolved beyond narcissists. There is a whole other level in regard to being truthful and making boundaries with the codependence in your life after that!
Regarding your friend, absolutely if this is damaging your soul, then there is nothing healthy in it for him either. Your soul truth as per your emotions is letting you know whether or not your interactions are healthy for the entire field, including him, or not. Yes this interaction is enabling him to not have to do deal with his inner emotions.
You are so right these feelings virtually always come back to “self”. And in regard to anybody who we want to assist, it is imperative Two clear our own feelings that have come up in regard to this topic first. So 100% yes, clear what comes up to you first.
Maybe you are far enough along the path to check out my Empowered Self Course, as there is some really powerful stuff in there, including the necessary shifts to work with boundaries and also be able to show up truthfully and powerfully in healthy interdependent ways.
This really is a wonderful next step after healing from narcissistic abuse and sorting out our own codependency as well as codependent relationships
https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/empoweredself-course.html
I hope that this information is helped
Also please note Kelly Rose that the best place to ask for assistance with your NARP work is in the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member Because this is where we can serve you the most.
Ha ha! Please know it can be very helpful to have a clear direction on how and what to work with, it saves a lot of time! This is where the ES course and or the NARP forum will be very helpful for you!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells of my body really get this!
Thank you for sharing this topic because it was a missing piece for me. I feel like it’s easy to spot narcissists now and I’m tempted to warn loved ones. It makes sense to me that they are having the experience they need to evolve and that I don’t need to add my worried energy to the mix.
Back to the NARP modules I go to load up and release trauma. It feels good to know I am doing it not only for myself but for the ones I love.
Hi MP,
that’s awesome!
It’s my pleasure and I’m glad that filled in the gaps for you.
That’s fabulous that you are going to pick up the NARP inner work again. It is so true that working with the modules has an incredible impact on not just ourselves but those we love.
So much love to you MP and thank you for being the change that you wish to experience.
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells of my body really get this! (Thank you!)
Hi Rob,
I am so happy for you!
Sending you love and blessings
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
I’m speechless at this Thriver episode and the cells of my body REALLY get this. . .although its taken me a while. I would do modules here and there, not constant over the last 2-1/2 years. Over the last week and many triggers over the holidays, I finally decided to take care of myself. No more excuses. I have felt better this past week than I have in years. I to a module each morning and one at night.
I think I was “fighting” what was coming through. The traumas and shifts I would write were what I “thought” I should write, not what I was truly feeling or “seeing”.
My 19 year old son has been struggling. He gave up his full ride football scholarship in another state and came home (a week before Christmas). After 3 days, he got extremely nasty when I asked about his plan. He responded with “what the “f” have you done for me? ” That was one sentence of many that followed. I was heart broken and stunned. I told him to get out of my house and go to his dads because he could not talk to me that way. (He had done this a few other previous times) His narc father (who walked out when my son was 15, and did nothing with him) was in Mexico getting engaged to a gal he’s known for 10 months. He also had told my son to drive from Missouri (where his college was) to Arizona (home) with no front brakes and that he would fix them when he got back from his trip. (I had my son get brakes before he left after hearing that).
Very long story short, I have struggled with my decision of kicking him out of my house. I love my son with all that I am. I’ve tried to talk to him through texting, no response. Not on Christmas. Not on New Year’s Day and not even today when I tried. I have worried that I sent him to his dad’s. The worst example of a human. I know I can’t speak bad about his dad to him (trust me, at times I’d love too), but how was I going to help him and let him know I was only trying to help? I’m sure he’s depressed, sad, and angry. I know his dad leaves him alone a lot (my daughter keeps me posted). I now know what I need to do….continue healing myself….to help my son.
Thank you Melanie! I refuse to lose my son to his dad. (I just wish I had been a little quicker in my Quantum understanding)
Sending love to you, the fighter victims, including those sweet animals.
💕Connie
Hi Connie,
I love that you feel this is truth in your body. Don’t feel bad Connie it really can take some time!
That is so great that you have committed to your inner being with NARP, and that you are now reaping the rewards.
I love that you are now just trusting the wisdom of your body with what you are feeling or “seeing”.
Connie please know Dear Lady, that the most powerful thing you can do right now is to let go and do the inner work on this with NARP. That is where the power, love and the shift is.
So much love to you and your son, and for the reuniting of you both.
Thank you for your well wishes regarding the Australian situation. Big Mwah to you.
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells of my body really get this. Thank you for the work you do. I love working with the NARP modules.
“The cells of my body really get this”
Thank you Mel, this is such incredible timing!
Two days ago I started working with Module 2 regarding my relationship with my Daughter. Our contact is limited (by her) to two exchanges of gifts per year. No speaking/visiting/emailing. During her last visit, almost 3 years ago, she stated that her husband would leave her if she continued seeing me. My suffering has been intense.
I have been doing NARP Module 1 for sooooo long, & FINALLY this week, my trauma rating got down to zero … & I could move on to Module 2.
What a revelation! After listening to your Module 2 Intro, I suddenly realized that long ago, I had assigned my Daughter as my False Source of Self. WOW! Major reclamation work happening. This was never about her, it was my inner work, & inner shifts, that were/are necessary. Already feeling more peace around the anguish & confusion … after only three sessions of Module 2.
And now your podcast today has delivered the icing on the cake.
THANK YOU MEL!!!
No more confusion, & endless imaginary circular conversations in my head.
Now I’ll continue doing the NARP work, moving forwards, taking personal responsibility for me.
Sending heaps of Gratitude :)) xx
Hello Melanie:
I have just been introduced to your work. You are educating humanity on such powerful work that can be used in many different aspects of life
Jane Allen, Calgary, CANADA
Hi Jane,
thank you for beautiful words!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I have lost a son to my husband, I am trying to protect and compare to two younger boys.
They are suffering.
The legal system does not help were I love and my ex is using coercive control with money, with not paying our rent, lying about everything and getting away with it..
He is extremely rich and corrupt.
I am in this situation now for over ten years.
I try to to do all I can but I was easy prey, in a foreign country were he has contacts, in high places, all the pressure is on me to survive, for the little ones, and to keep my serenity and sanity for the older one who has been completely groomed. I keep my spiritual path and I do all I can bit I am running out of options to stand my ground against cruelty and corruption, and stop the damage to my gesticulates boys.
Hi Nikki,
my heart goes out to you with what you have been through.
I’d love to invite you to my free webinar to learn how you may be able to turn the situation around http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
Much love to you and your boys
Mel 🙏💕💛
Sorry that was badly written I respond to my own message!
It’s early.
I am protecting and trying to ‘ co parent’ but actually parallel parent..
I meant damage to my beautiful boys..
My ex got away with recording us in our home..
False allegations against me
False reports.
It sounds like paranoia
Sadly not..
I am still here and loving my children, the next thing is he wants to institutionalise the children in boarding school, using coercive control and manipulation, ie causing me of not allowing them a good education and leaving us near a state of eviction for the second time when he lives in a stately home.
It’s all true.
Mel,
Your FB QFH today was amazing! Very powerful. I was able to participate, but not post as I’m not on FB. Wanted to share with you that in the visualization of puddles and steam, my imagery shifted to something much more beautiful. I was seeing green ground, moist ground, flowers, animals, sunlight sparkling off the dew, moss…. a virtual paradise of peace and harmony. My awareness became that this could be the reality for all of the planet if we shift enough. Peace in the world, peace in the weather. Another interesting thing, here where I live we were having a very windy night, wind howling, branches banging against the house, and by the end of the healing the winds were calm!! Now a peaceful winter night. We can do this!!!!
Sorry to be off topic…. well, I guess this is never off topic. 🙂
Hi DMJ,
You are so right, quantum growth and healing is never off topic!
I love what you have experienced and shared and I am so grateful that you did.
So much love to you sweetheart
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
Thank you for this video that is truly helpful. Your videos and articles are blessed reminders for me that the inner work really works and will bring authentic positive results in my life and the lives of my loved ones. I NARP first thing in the morning, and when I can’t I do it later in the day. The modules are like trail signs helping me to stay on the right path -my true path of life.
In my case, since I have started with NARP, lots of good things have happened to me, but not dramatically, they’ve been happening almost everyday recently (for which I am deeply grateful to you, NARP and Life) but very quietly, peacefully, as if it was just the right time, so sometimes I forget to notice and I start doubting what to do or what to say. So I love your weekly videos for reminding me to keep healing.
This video is such a blessing for me today, one day before I was planning to have a short contact with my FOO. All the members in my FOO -narcissists and co-dependent- have been joining forces since the beginning of this year to get to my grown-ups children as their targets for their next narc supply: drama and power.
It seems counter-intuitive to put me first but just like in an air plane when we need to put on our oxygen mask first if we want to truly help save our children, my healing comes first. I need to NARP and NARP and NARP and NARP on me, this I know I can do, then I ask Source to protect them and give them all the help they need for their highest evolution. Your videos remind me that I just need to trust that Life is happening not to me but for me, not to them but for them.
I pray for Australia to get relief and for the fires to stop.
Lots of Love,
LVM
Hi LVM,
It’s my pleasure!
I love that you are getting such a peaceful and beautiful shift in your life, and that this video was so timely for you.
That’s great LVM that you understand that true healing happens within first, and then this power and centredness can be used as the platform to lead the way for others.
Thank you for sending your prayers to Australia, and sending blessings and breakthroughs to you
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thanks Melanie
Is it possible to help my friend via QFH by proxy? I have cleared my own traumas and do this consistently, however my friend is self-medicating via alcohol and drugs, and has all the symptoms of N abuse from her ex, and could potentially lose her 3 young children to the N who is violent & dangerous, and is trying to destroy her.
I do not see her as broken, and I can see how she can so turn this around for herself and her children via NARP, however she has lost all hope and will not help herself to heal, hence the children are gravitating towards the N, which I know is the worst possible scenario for children to be in.
She has NARP, but keeps making excused not to go inwards. So, I am unsure what else I can do, as I dearly love her, and her children.
Thank you xxxxx
Hi Possum,
most definitely you can work on your own inner being in regard to how you feel about what is happening to her, and if permission is granted energetically or literally then you can proceed on healings with her.
Sweetheart if you require more help with this, please don’t hesitate to pop into the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member for further assistance.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Mel, your work has transformed my view of he world and has started and amazing journey. I am clear of the narcissist, able to spend time with family, albeit not 100% comfort there yet, hold boundaries with my son and my ex husband. But there is a but!
I have not lost a sense of how to start using NARP to take me to the next step. I have been in a relationship with a man who has also been using NARP. We are both codependents i suspect. But we have not completed the work we need to have healthy relationships. We have agreed to step away for six months to focus on our individual journeys. As he has outstanding issues with his children and ex wife that relate to not having made the shifts to make his reality healthy.
Likewise i have not made the shifts k need to live in love and not in resentment. I find myself moving between these spaces but cannot hold love. I know this is because i am still seeking something from the outside that i have not healed on the inside but am genuinely stuck in know this next step.
If you could offer suggestions to help me it would be amazing.
Hi Emma,
That’s great you have come for far and that you are with a guy who is also NARPing.
I totally hear what you are saying. It’s one thing to get clear of a narcissist but another to generate a healthy interdependence intimate relationship.
Emma truly the best place that I and the NARP community can you eith this is the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
I know there will be great support and ongoing guidance for you there.
I hope this helps.
Mel 🙏💕💛
I feel like I’m watching a train wreck about to happen, my son is about to marry a narc & he realizes it, but wants it to work out….
She is draining him emotionally & financially, they are to be married in June. Just hope he calls it off.
Hi Mae,
My heart goes out to you and your son.
Much love to you both
Mel 🙏💕💛
Omg this is perfect timing!! THANK you so much for this topic, Mel!!!!
It is JUST what I need right now.
I feel calm and safe in firm no contact with a family N but another family member, an empath, is still allowing herself to get used and drained by the N. And I thought about getting back to Module 6 in NARP but instead of doing the “Release and Heal the Responsibility for the N”, I was going to put this empath in the N’s place.
It has happened before that the exact current problem I was chewing on was immediately covered by an article/video by you, Mel, I feel so connected to the Quantum Thriver consciousness, awesome!
Also, my healing vibes are continually going out to Australia in this difficult time!
Kathy
Every cell of my being, finally gets this. I may be a late bloomer, but what I see as important I got it!
I take the time now, to go inside of me to figure out what is the best for daily occurrences, set boundaries and not let anyone steal my joy.
Hi Bev,
That’s wonderful and thank you for sharing your lovely inner intentions!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Kathy,
You are very welcome and I’m happy this was timely for you!
Absolutely that is a great idea for that Module 6 work.
I love that you love Thriving and thank you for sending healing to us all here.
Many blessings to you Kathy
Mel 🙏💕💛
Wow. A lightning bolt revelation! Thank you. Now I have a path to regain relationships with both of my adult sons. Starting now! Diane
Hi Disne,
How wonderful!
Love and blessings to you and your sons.
Mel 🙏💕💛
“The cells in my body really get this”. Thank you for this profound message. This has come at an exact time that I need it in my life, I know now that it is I, that need to do the work, and stop feeling like a victim of yet another narcissist in my family. My thoughts and prayers go to all that are suffering in Australia at this time.
Hi Jeanne,
It’s my pleasure and thats great that this resonates with you!
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Sending love, blessings and breakthroughs to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
The cells of my body are really getting this!
For the last 8 months, I have been watching your videos and reading the transcripts, all of which have been tremendously helpful. This one, in particular, has arrived exactly when it needed to and really struck a chord. Thank you for sharing your experiences and remedies, they have helped me achieve some major shifts!
My thoughts are with you, and everyone in Australia at this time.
Kristan
Hi Kristian,
You are very welcome and I’m pleased this was timely for you!
That’s beautiful that you are doing well, and thank you for your kind thoughts.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Phew ! This is such a valuable presentation. I have just spent almost a couple of hours taking notes and transcribing them into a Word doc. for absolutely safe keeping. It is a bizarre thing how much one’s children can impact on the core of one’s evolution. Your talk today was like an Exocet missile/flood of divine light upon my situation with my newly agonizingly difficult teenage son. Goodness what a life challenge the past eight months have been. But now I know to give up agonizing– having not questioned the notion that the agony was appropriate (an index of my love for my son) and not realizing that it is only hindering a way forwards out of the [his] distress. How much consensus reality seems to believe agonizing is the right response. What a lesson to me today — and yes, a lesson to take in at the cellular level of my being — that my own trauma is where the spotlight needs to be. Goodness, I have to struggle to find the words to express my gratitude to you.
I am a practising Christian, and so I do need to include the persons of God in my application of all this — perhaps centrally the work of the Holy Spirit in my healing and recovery and in my son’s pathway through this very difficult stage of life. I don’t know whether this is something you discuss in NARP.
Finally, I am closer than ever before to signing up for your NARP course. (I think I have been too proud to do this previously.) What wonderful work you have introduced to the world, where our personal emotional suffering can be so huge and so baffling. God bless you, Melanie, and all your team.
Hi Rosalind Jane,
I’m so pleased this has helped regarding your son.
I love that you have burst into such powerful embodied clarity with this!
With NARP when you are working with the Higher Power component absolutely your version is what you will work with. There are many Christians working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp very happily and successfully.
Thank you for your lovely words to myself and the team Rosalind and we look forward to having you join us in the NARP members forum.
Lots of love to you.
Mel 🙏💕💛
Melanie,
I too am speechless after viewing this episode.
What a profound gift of guidance for those of us who so want to help others in abusive situations. I love this community.
Thank you for the reminder that until “the cells in my body really get it” I’m working or praying INSIDE the problem and not really coming to the healing WITH the healing ALREADY WITHIN do I have something to bring to the situation.
I love you so much for this help particularly in a current situation with a patient.
It isn’t until I feel the certain assurance of pure JOY that any healing can be expected. Quantum LAW.
It’s easier to believe in Ultimate TRUTH than to try to will people to change.
And even the sorrow of watching our loved ones go through terrible difficulties – this too is for OUR evolution and opportunity to grow.
I can not thank you enough.
Now, to practice the understanding and releasing instead of rehearing…
Did I say ” thank you”?
Iris darling,
You are so welcome!
I always feel like I cant thank you enough for the profound wisdom you contribute here.
It is priceless Dear Lady!
Mwah and big love
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells of my body really get this.
Thank you so much for this, Melanie!
I have a big family, and each of us is in some way affected by our narc mother. It really hurts to see them live through the pain of this abuse. I have been wondering for a long time about the way that I could help them (Should I do the healings for them? Should I spread more information about narcs? How can I help?).
Huge thanks to you for this article, for now I know that I need to first of all heal the pain that their suffering brings me, rather than trying to change the way they feel.
Thank you so much, your work is helping me live better every day. Thank you!
Hi Olga,
Thsts so great!
I love that this has helped guide you regarding your family.
I know how much Quantumly you will help you and them now.
So much love to all of you, Olga
Mel 🙏💕💛
Every cell in my body DOES NOT GET THIS. I completely disagree with this Quantum Law. When you have a sibling who was killed by narc abuse, this stuff sounds ridiculous. I’m supposed to deal with my own trauma and this in turn will help him deal with his? Is Quantum Law saying that what happened to my brother was for a reason? That he’s in the ground because of destiny? No. My cells don’t get this.
Dear April,
My deepest condolences for what happened to your brother.
My heart goes out to you and I can totally understand how hurt you are.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Dear April,
All the tragedy and sorrow that is part and parcel of this temporary thing called a human life experience can ONLY be overcome by transcending it.
There are many options and paths to attain measures of Transcendence (becoming One with Real Life). But Quantum Freedom Healing as taught by Melanie is one of the most effective and accessible ways to do so.
People who have had Near Death Experiences confirm what many religions teach about the afterlife and the reality of an overwhelming DIVINE LOVE that is more real than ANYTHING we experience on this Earth, and that encompasses everything and underlies all true existence.
For me it is the COSMIC CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS “field”. The only and ultimate True Reality or ETERNAL LIFE that we are all sourced by.
Your brother, as we all, will attain this state of Being. The more horrific the human picture, the more we want to transcend.
The people in this community having experienced abuse and pain worse than death have been brought to a place of having no choice but to reach for something greater than their current understanding of life. If you have not been a target of narcissism, it would be impossible to describe the pain that is mental, emotional, cellular, cosmic and many times worse than death.
We are grateful for QFH that has given us a path to restoration of sanity. This episode is a way to help bring forth healing for those we love who are also suffering that crippling pain.
QFH is consistent with the Holy Bible mandate to enter into His presence with Thanksgiving (gratitude) and into His Courts (Divine Presence and Judgement) with Praise. We raise our vibration and ability to tune into Divine Realms this way.
In the scriptures, before a fierce battle, they sent the minstrels or trumpeters IN FRONT of the army. They SANG first! Even Jesus on HIS way to the final prayer place before the crucifixion, sang several hymns.
We overcome by first achieving a state of forgiveness, gratitude and finally praise.
It is counter-intuitive to the human mind which wants to kill or punish or destroy or take vengeance. The Christ sets free from the destruction within and ends that battle permanently.
Dwelling in this state of FREEDOM ourselves is the ONLY way to stay healed and to heal the brokenhearted, free the oppressed, and break every yoke forever.
I’m glad you’re angry now because it means you are not in denial. I was too and I almost took my own life. That is not the way.
Quantum Freedom HEALING works. And it works instantly. I believe GOD sent this to humanity at a crucial time of pervasive global narcissism.
The healing for your pain is here. Your brother would want you to be free.
It’s simple. Heal and up-level. Take productive action in your own life. Then be supportive. With time, those who are destructive diverge rapidly from those who are loving. Within a short amount of time, the differences will be very evident. Meanwhile, keep growing and thriving.
Hi Barbara,
it is true the differences do become evident very quickly!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Melanie,
The cells in my body really get this! You’ve done it again! How does it feel to save peoples emotional lives and the lives of their love ones? I am SO grateful that you have put together this NARP program for all of us who have suffered at the hands of insidious Narcissistic abuse! YOUR experience is invaluable! The NARP program is invaluable! It has been a REAL HELP for me in long journey with Narcissistic abuse. I have healed so much!!
This particular episode is sending me running back to my modules because my children have been affected on all levels of this type of abuse as well. I have been struggling and heartbroken that I have not been able to help them with their healing and empower them in their journey to wholeness.
Finally, HERE it is!!! The steps I need to take to finally get this heavy weight off my back! Thank you for all that you do and for targeting this most important aspect of my life!
The NARP program is amazing! It is so very comforting to be able to make these shifts and help my children.
I am looking forward to sharing my story.
Warmest Love and Compassion,
Dee
Hi Dee,
I’m so thrilled that this does deeply resonate with you.
And that NARP has helped you so much, and that you are going to work with the modules to help your children.
It will assist them so much!
I can’t wait for you to share your story Dee, I know will help so many others.
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells of my body don’t get this – yet, anyway. But I think it is because I don’t have enough information about my particular situation to know exactly what I’m dealing with and how best to proceed. My daughter left for college almost 5 years ago and cut off all contact with me. Her father, a major Narc, and I divorced when she was 3, and though I was awarded primary custody, I do know he was doing an intense Parental Alienation campaign with her all through childhood. Obviously I’ve been in No Contact with him for years, but never saw my daughter’s disappearance out of my life coming at all. We always got along well. I have no way of knowing what her disappearance is all about, or even where she is in the world, since she has now graduated college. Her stonewalling of me looks and feels like she may have chosen to go her father’s route and become narcissistic herself – but again, I have no way of knowing, and conjecture gets one nowhere. In my spiritual tradition, we are taught that true movement can only take place from “the point of truth”. So I’ve just been working to uncover my own “points of truth” here. NARP has been very helpful with that process, but somehow in my situation of not having the full picture.I don’t quite understand how to apply this particular lesson.
Hi C,
My heart goes out to you for what you have experienced with your daughter, parent alienation is such a heartbreaking thing.
I completely understand why you are feeling this way, feeling the requirement for the point of truth.
The real truth is C sweetheart, where narcissists are concerned, it can be incredibly difficult to get to any level of truth. The complete and utter irony is Quantum validation and truth usually only comes after we no longer require it, because of working on our inner identity and healing it to wholeness unconditionally. The deepest and most powerful lesson of all of this being, “I have the ability to reach inner peace and wholeness within myself regardless of what anybody else is or isn’t doing, or even what I do or don’t logically know.” Doing NARP modules gives you the ability to release trauma directly from the cells of your body in all circumstances. Then from that massive shift on the inside, comes the massive shift on the outside. It’s Quantum Law, so within-so without.
My highest suggestion to you Dear Lady is to keep releasing all and every trauma that you feel about this, until peace and the feelings of love for your daughter are all that remains. I have seen so many families and children and parents reunited even after years after this can be anchored into place. That, honestly, is all that you need to reconcile and do.
Have you googled and looked into my resources on Parent Alienation? I really hope that they can help you.
Also, please come into the NARP member’s forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member and we can help guide you with this situation
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’ve listened to your video and want to thank you.
I’m very much struggling with how to apply this to my 7yr old daughter who’s father (my ex husband) is a N. We are constantly in court for his behaviour but it is the mental abuse that is the most damaging. I’m finding it difficult to take on this way of thinking when she is so young and unable to make decisions that she could if she were older.
Hi Susie,
I totally understand how challenging it is to be coparenting with the narcissist, and my heart goes out to you.
Susie I’d like you to come into my free masterclass http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass where so much is explained that can deeply help you.
Sending love, relief and healing to you and your daughter
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie, Thank you so much for your work. I have been working your modules and they are helping. I am feeling better, less scared of my ex. Learning what self-partnering really means. My teen son fully knows who is father is and is trying to heal from past abuse. The problem we’re having is that the court seemingly understands his father is a narcissist but they still want my son to do reunification. They don’t seem to care that he has been doing so much better away from the abuse. My son is extremely articulate and mature and knows there is no way to work with his father and they refuse to listen to him. They are telling him that if he doesn’t work this out and try to have a relationship with his father then he will be miserable when he gets older. They think it’s best to make him have a relationship even if he is abusive. Instead it is creating more resentment for him. How do I work with this energetically? I’m trying to hold that this is his path and there is something else he needs to learn but in my heart I know it is wrong to force a narcissist on anyone let alone a child.
Hi Jennifer,
it’s my pleasure.
That’s so great that NARP has been helping you.
I’d like you to come into the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member To get assistance and support with this. Of course this is disturbing and heartbreaking for you.
I promise you that there are shifts that you can do to be able to hold your healthy emotional space, be a strong and wonderful support for your son, and allow this to unfold in ways that will absolutely benefit him.
I hope that this can help
Mel 🙏💕💛
The cells in my body are starting to get it…I need more work/time. Thank you. I never thought about it this way before. Being a born again Christian, this whole idea seemed so new age, but I get now that it’s not. This is a truth. I think it’s the way God made us. Thanks. <3
The cells in my body really get this
My dearest Melanie ….To my dear self “The cells of my body really gets this”..My story is much like the story you have said regarding the father and son with the boss.I have been working with NARP modules and following you with knowing you too have had to self partner on things in your life that give the understanding of how difficult times can be.I have made many changes through working on my inner self and the traumas have surfaced that at times were trapped so deep it opened up and now have been set free .This video resonates with me on a deeper level as the heart ache of loosing some one you love so much was crippling. Knowing now to let go and realise that working more on myself and giving acceptance to what is will in time give my loved one the exsperience to look within and find truth to ones self.Just as I am healing and learning to do for myself . Never such true words are that of “So with in So with out”
Hi Susan,
I love that you deeply resonate with this.
I can tell by your words and energy that you have done very deep and beautiful inner work.
Sending you love and continued blessings and breakthroughs
Mel 🙏💕💚
The cells of My body really gets this!!
This is one of the most powerful things I have ever read and I am 55 years old… The cells in my body really get this!
I have just joined NARP and I am so excited – thank you Melanie your work is truly on another level – I have read so much and had so much therapy… but this makes sense and has changed me already. I love the way it also gives hope and makes me feel like I have some control over my life – finally!
(I would never normally use the word control because I don’t like the word for obvious reasons, having been controlled for so long. However it is the right word and I am not going to be afraid to us it when it is exactly how I feel.)
It feel like there could be good times ahead yay – thank you Melanie xx
Hi Paula,
I love that the cells in your body get this!
It’s beautiful to have you as a NARP member and I know from your excitement that you are going to be doing so well, now that you can detox with NARP powerfully from the inside.
I 100% know that in this context Paula you are referring to “control” as taking your power back. Which is what true healing is about.
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
The cells in my body really get this, thank you Mel X
Hi,
Is this method also applicable to a spouse watching their spouse being abused by a narcissistic parent?
The affect of this abuse has direct impacts and implications for a marriage when the parent has no boundaries for example.
It’s therefore not just the spouse (the child of the Narc) that experiences the effects of the abuse inadvertenly, but in effect both spouses do.
I have been doing a lot of empowerment through the sharing of your content and information and I’ve seen a lot of positive changes.
Hi Jay,
Yes absolutely when you empower and heal it leads the way for everyone around you.
Keep up the great work.
Love and blessings to all of you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you for this, so needed it. Nearly everyone I know is being abused by a narcissist one way or another😳 but I realise their common denominator is me and it’s still narcissists stopping me from receiving any kind of love or it’s me again, looking for it where there can’t be any, like having a total blind spot anything else is even possible. Work to do….
Hi I emailed u a couple of days ago re my son & the narcistic mother of his now 13 weeks old baby left him when the baby was 8 weeks old & is making life very difficult for my son to see his son. I have watched the videos etc u suggested & I, myself is past off of them. I have never lied to my children about their narcistic father. My grandson’s mother gave my son an altimatium over 12 months ago either her or my son’s family meaning meaning me & his brother. He chose her as he always wanted to be a father & she promised him a child. We accepted his decision. My boys & i have always been close so i was able to talk with him about what she was doing & to give him an altermatium was unhealthy. She was jealous of my sons relationship with me as she didnt have anything like it with her mother. Now she is doing the same thing with my son as far as seeing his son goes as what her mother did with her. Very Nasty. As we know a narc believes the world they live in is real & they do nothing wrong. My son caught her sleeping with a so called mate. My son wants nothing to do with her as he is really seeing her true colours as we do when a narc is finished with their victim but he wants everything to do with his son. How do I help my son?