Melanie Tonia Evans

Why People Attract Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 6
40
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

It’s a sad truth, that if we’ve been hooked by a narcissist in the past, it’s very likely that we’ll have encounters with more in the future.

You may have had the experience of seeing narcissists ‘everywhere’ and feel like a small fish in a sea of sharks every time you step foot out into the world.

If you are anything like I was, you might be incredibly sick of continually attracting toxic people into your life and just wish that you could finally connect with healthy, authentic and supportive people instead.

How do we do this?

The crucial first step is to uncover exactly what is within you that makes you a target.

In today’s Thriver Tv episode I am going to take you through exactly the definitive reasons why you get hooked, and why you stay even when it hurts.

Including, why it is even when the trauma is horrific and so primal and powerful it literally feels like we are going to die, and we know this person is killing us – that we STILL feel attracted to this person.

Today’s conversation includes a deeper look at the generational beliefs we have taken on, which have made us more inclined to stay in abusive relationships, as well as the Quantum Reasons as to WHY we were drawn to narcissists, the purpose of this terrible breakdown experience, and how to claim our true breakthrough to abuse and narcissistic free lives.

I really love this topic, because we can get away from the disempowerment of ‘blaming’ (including ourselves) into our power centre of radical personal responsibility, which is how we start to Heal for Real and generate incredible Thriver lives.

When we know what we need to work on, to break free and become or Truest and Happiest selves, we have made another huge leap forward in our journey.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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40 Thoughts on Why People Attract Narcissists
  • Getmail100@yahoo.com'
    Bren
    November 30, 2017

    Well after 2/12 years of Narping, a very narcissistic neighbor is trying to make my life hell and get me evicted telling management I’m harassing her when in fact she is doing it to me. I totally ignore her even tho she cusses me out, making my life stressful. I do have moments of intense discomfort fear wise of consequences ….been moduling like crazy and self partnering …..Module 8. Muchhhh better but still feeling fear of losing my apartment as she is lying about me to everyone…..smearing. Management seems to believe her. I’m totally aware of what’s going on and realize I have uplevelling here to do. Really…..even an evil neighbor brought on by the UnInverse.. All I want is peace. I wish her well ….I guess with no narc partners or family left, the Universe will use anyone to help me up level with some more unfinished business.

    • stephencoleman95361@yahoo.com'
      Stephen Coleman
      November 30, 2017

      You need to take videos her to protect yourself, she is sure to lie in court.

      • Getmail100@yahoo.com'
        Bren
        November 30, 2017

        Steven…..no im going to do Module 8…. this is about my fears and energy and as I uplevel with no triggers or energy going her way, she’ll fall away. Narcs need supply and I’m not giving it to her. Strict no contact. I will record her if I need to, trusting it won’t be necessarY.

        • Troyhrpr1@gmail.com'
          T
          November 30, 2017

          I’ve had neighbors like that on both sides of me in recent years. The people on the right of me were all insane drug addicts, career criminals etc. They did all they could to irritate me because they got off on it. The more I ignored them and tried to be ‘centered’ and ‘balanced’ the harder they tried to screw with me. There were 4 or 5 of them in that house and they damn near drove me to my breaking point but thankfully, they finally got busted for drugs and were evicted. Playing it cool only made these guys more bloodthirsty. Then 6 or 7 months after they left some dude and his wife moved into the house on my left. I could tell RIGHT away these people were not healthy, especially him. Very suspicious, paranoid, envious, angry etc. He thought he had me fooled with his ‘Mr. Wonderful, friendly as can be neighbor ‘facade but it was paper thin. I didn’t like dealing with him because he was so phony. Then it occurred to me that part of what he was doing was he was trying to manipulate me into letting him have his way. He had these two table saws that he set up right outside his back door, 25 ft from my back door. He’d be out there sawing all day long, everyday. His miter saw sounded like a damn T-rex screaming in my ear. When I asked him about it he claimed he was doing home remodeling. I later found out woodworking was just his pastime and he was using remodeling as an excuse. I told him all the noise was affecting my nerves and he acted very pathetic and said he could move the saw around to the other side of the house. But the very next day he was right there in the same spot sawing away. I confronted him about it. I let my anger outa little bit. I stayed in control of myself, but I let him know he was pissing me off. Then there was one more incident like that a week or so later, then I called the cops on him-and he’s been quiet as a mouse ever since. He built a privacy fence between us, I guess to punish me. Fine with me. Anyway those are the different tactics I used with different crazy neighbors, and the different results I got. I’m not sure what Module 8 entails, but you may want to think about standing up for yourself, enforcing your boundaries etc. I think Melanie has said that narcs are bullies, and all bullies are cowards. I pushed back against this most recent guy, did what it took to let him know he wasn’t going to turn my backyard into a sawmill and he retreated back into his shell. Fine with me. Whatever you decide to do, best of luck with it.

          • Troyhrpr1@gmail.com'
            T
            November 30, 2017

            That’s empathetic, not pathetic

    • mallen12@hotmail.com'
      Megan
      November 30, 2017

      Yes! Take a video. I knew someone in the exact same situation and the authorities had a difficult time proving and acting because there was no evidence, even though they strongly suspected the truth. Two videos including yelling and throwing poop on someone’s doorstep and it was all over. Good luck!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Bren,

      I can so relate darling – I just went through this stuff with a neighbour! Must be the time for it. I released trauma like crazy and then really showed up to all people and authorities involved and it all fell flat for her.

      You’ve got this sweetheart I know you have!

      Mel xo

  • stephencoleman95361@yahoo.com'
    Stephen Coleman
    November 30, 2017

    I noticed far too late the pattern that started from my early teens, I fell for the disturbed girls, one after another. I wanted to “fix them”. Then I married the narc and gave up trying to fix her early in our 22 year marriage as I realized I was talking and pleading with a wall.

    30 years later, I looked up one of my old girlfriends, I think she was the worst off of them all. She is sitting with a life sentence in Chino State Prison for 1st degree murder, murdering her employer with a hammer. I now realize she was a psychopath and how I fell for her when all the others avoided her now makes sense. I see how she could have done that and it could have been me.

  • alchemi000@hotmail.com'
    Michelle
    November 30, 2017

    Hi Melanie

    Once again a wonderful inspirational video. Can you please do a video on what to do if your child or loved one is involved with a Narc and we can see all the painful signs and symptoms but nothing you can say or do to your child/loved-one will make them see, as they are love-bombed and charmed beyond belief by the narc? mean while we stand by knowing the facade the narc puts on and carefully manipulates your loved one into buying things, into spending extra amount of time, attention and care on them alone, and then drops the A BOMB on our loved one by degrading them, silent treatment and playing them in his/her game of emotional/mental tug of war and we see our loved one losing there happiness there spark as they scramble about trying to make amends with the narc to make the love bombing charm come back to them. We can see the bullshit but they don’t, makes us feel like we are the crazy ones or that we don’t matter to them. I know that most people say you have to let them go, let them experience the hell for themselves, love them from a distance, and I suppose your right to one degree. But as any mother knows to let your child get taken through the emotional/mental slaughter house is not easy at all. Would we want our children or loved one to be slaughtered by a covert narc?, no we would want to do everything we possibly could to help our children. Melanie what tips, process or advice to do you have in regards to this?

    much love
    Michelle xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Michelle,

      this may not be a wide enough topic for this Community to do as a Thriver TV episode, but I can certainly do something on social media about this.

      Michelle, are you working with NARP To release your trauma about this and do work on this person by proxy as well? That is the MOST powerful way to help them.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      That is EXACTLY how I helped save my son from what he was going through when he was in a terrible state, not in his power and destroying himself, and the changes were fast and powerful.

      Many NARPers help their children in this way and there is so much help with the coaching of that available in NARP Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      Mel xo

  • Cheryl.J112@yahoo.com'
    Cheryl
    November 30, 2017

    I love all of your work…it has been incredibly helpful and I am feeling liberated and empowered after a seven year on and off ride through perpetual disappointment, broken promises, trauma, repeated breakup theats and being thrown out of our home twice, and only me being committed to the relationship. I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t keep his love. Now, I have healed tremendously through your blog, seminars and other folks’ comments. He finally went away and left me in peace, after harassing and stalking me for a year after forcing me to move out a second time….I thought he was confused. I had hope. Naive, self-destructive hope. Then, I landed here, at your website, and the fog lifted. It only becomes clear after enforcing no contact, even through an order of protection, and letting those peptides die like a bad flu, how genuinely calmer and happier your soul is away from the quicksand. I thank your quantum healing principles… beyond all doubt…it works, These sad damaged people-hurters really do fizzle away when you get healthy again and unequivocally mean it, feel it, when you say “no more, not this, never again”.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Cheryl,

      I am so pleased I could help and that you have done such a wonderful job with the Quantum Tools.

      Power to you Dear Lady and keep Thriving.

      Thank you for your post 🙂

      Mel xo

  • jennysherrell@gmail.com'
    Jenny
    November 30, 2017

    Dear Melanie – as usual this topic was spot on for me. I have left my long standing relationship but at times I feel I can never be free, and that I’m possessed. Your video came as usual at the best time – and covered all the reasons – I’ll keep it forever. Just before it arrived, I was reading A Course In Miracles which says “you create the world you see” (dam!!) – And that instead of using our memory to remember the illusion of all the past hurt which is gone and has been long forgiven – use our memory to remember the ancient truth that we have always been free. Thank you again for all your invaluable input.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Jenny,

      I am so pleased this was timely for you.

      Jenny have you taken the healing to the deep cellular level that is necessary for true relief yet? There is such a HUGE difference is learning and healing with information only rather than doing the true transformational work in our bodies.

      This may be why it isn’t “holding” and at times you are still struggling.

      Come into my webinar if you are ready to really nail this for good: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar it will take healing to a whole other level for you.

      Mel xo

  • Vannareisman@yahoo.com'
    Angela
    November 30, 2017

    I am healing well and I thank you for this community and support. My question is why did I feel like the best version of myself when I was with my narcissist?
    It was like our energies were meant to be together and felt so deeply connected and felt right! I began to question his motives and found out later about other women so as painful as it was I was the one who left the relationship. I know now it was the right thing to do but I still can’t help but think how connected we once were. This is the struggle I deal with, thank you, Angela

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Angela,

      that is because the peptide addiction – our wounds – get their feed. It is like “finally I am with the reenactment of my young wounds (mum or Dad) who this time I want to make love me and do it better”. It feels like home. It feels so “right”.

      I promise you, Angela, virtually every single one of us ALL felt like that.

      But this person was never the saviour of our wounds they were the messenger of them and once we heal those wounds I promise you there is NO attraction, connection or thinking it was “so right”.

      We are free and we are totally conscious of what was really going on. This connection is not about them, it is about healing and getting fully connected with loving ourselves. I hope this makes sense. To learn about all of this deeper and unravel it and get free this is the first step: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

      • Vannareisman@yahoo.com'
        Angela
        December 6, 2017

        Thank you Mel! It’s been 3 years apart and I am healing as you said and there many things I miss about being with him but I also had so much anxiety in my life. We shared 8 years together so I know it will still take more time but a day doesn’t go by without thinking about him even though I’m happier and healthier now. That is the kind of impact our relationship had on me. I no longer regret or hate him but thank him for helping me. The hardest part is that I want to meet someone else like him with his energy and love for life but someone who is true and not false. Even though I’m happy I want to share my lust for life with someone too just like I did with him. BTW he did all of the things you mentioned, gaslighting and blaming and stalking after I left, it was the hardest thing to do not to go back but I didn’t thanks to counseling and support such as yourself! Best, Angela

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          December 6, 2017

          Hi Angela,

          you are very welcome 🙂

          Please know the “missing” for all of us to do with some part inside us that from our earlier years that has not as yet been healed to wholeness. Some part of us that we assigned (unconsciously) the narcissist to be the healer/giver of.

          When we find that part and release the original trauma connected to it and heal it within ourselves the pain goes and our evolution and thriving begins. That is when, too, we no longer draw the people to us who are there to trigger this wound so that finally we can heal it.

          The deeper journey is what sorts this Angela, truly healing from what a narcissist triggers within us, is not about time, it is about the inner work.

          I hope this helps and much love to you.

          Mel xo

  • Portershouseuk2002@yahoo.co.uk'
    Tim
    November 30, 2017

    Thank you Melanie that episode was absolutely amazing. I have been working at letting go and self partnering. I was just wondering when you feel that you are healed and you feel attracted to someone. There will still be lessons to learn and stuff come up that you may not have realised and go back and redo the modules. I have met someone who feels normal and not like an attachment. I just feel like I don’t want to make any new mistakes I am really happy self partnering and I do not feel like I need someone to make me whole. I have so much to write as quantum healing is amazing. Thank you Melanie for helping me to open my eyes 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Tim,

      you are very welcome.

      Absolutely there is still growth and lessons and whatever we need to heal will surface, that is what relationship is all about.

      We are not here to get it perfectly right – we are here to heal and become more and more real.

      You are doing GREAT Tim!

      Mel xo

  • rebecca1975@alphafrau.de'
    Rebecca - Recovery From A Bad Childhood
    November 30, 2017

    Narcissists are looking for codependents without boundaries. So we need to work on building boundaries. This will frustrate them and they will move on to an easier target.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Rebecca,

      it is very true boundaries mean it’s too tough to get supply and N’s do move on!

      Mel xo

  • marymary1609@outlook.com'
    mary
    December 1, 2017

    I love your videos Melanie and they have really helped me ,and I think you are doing amazing work.You make a lot of good points about self work and
    recognising the unhealed parts of yourself ,that make you seek the approval of people in general ,including toxic ones.But I would just like to add one thing on that point,as someone like you,who has been burned badly by a N. As you say ,Ns are a unique and horrific case,and as such,will sink to unprecedented levels of vile behaviour.The effects of this behaviour leaves deep psychological and emotional scars,including Stockholm Syndrome,which leads to attempts to appease and regain the approval and attention of the N.This is a product of abuse and trauma and a completely
    unconscious process.It is also counterintuitive to leave someone who is telling you ,you are the problem,not them.You seek to make it work.And sometimes the anxiety and post-trauma symptoms of going N.C are worse than dealing with the N. Recovery is a long process.So it isnt always about
    low self-esteem or past faulty ideas about what makes a healthy relationship.Sometimes you have just been scarred too deeply to find the strength to leave.And often NS will target strong ,empowered women as sources of supply because its an even bigger N.S hit to subdue and control them.I started off with really firm boundaries,but at the end,was a shivering psychological wreck.Ambient abuse(head games) in particular ,is very subtle and deadly,and can unsettle and insidiously penetrate the healthy boundaries of even the smartest,strongest and most empowered of women.And I feel really strongly about placing the blame firmly at the foot of the abuser ,and noone else.The N should take ultimate responsibility for his/her actions.But yes, they rarely do and there are things we can do to leave ourselves less vulnerable to these emotional predators.Thanks for all your great work.You are changing lives.Love and light.x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Mary,

      I am so pleased they have helped.

      Mary that is so true the effects are horrific on victims, but this is where Quanta Freedom Healing comes in (have you worked with it yet) it literally releases all the trauma and dense energy out of your subconscious, cells and being so that you can live free of it.

      Mary my trauma damage was so great – complete adrenal and psychotic breakdown, there is no way I would be alive if it wasn’t for QFH.

      Please come into my free webinar and experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself – it is life-changing how we can now heal from the trauma of abuse. http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      QFH is solely (and I really mean this) responsible for thousands of unprecedented healings in this Community – these were people who simply could not have ever lived free from the trauma with contemporary methods.

      Mary, I know you believe that N’s target strong people with good boundary function – I once believed the same. However, I now know as a result of doing the inner work and knowing now how different I am without trauma I had within me my entire life – there is no way an N could take me in now. I show up too much. I trust myself, I ask questions, I back myself, I am a source to myself, and if things were “off” I would not hesitate to walk away. I certainly was not like that in the past – no matter how strong I thought I was.

      There is such a development from unconsciousness to consciousness and releasing our inner trauma and evolving ourselves gets us there. I did decades of work on myself before this and now that I am not that Old Self I know an incredible difference.

      That’s so what my message is to others like me who are on this journey.

      So much love to you.

      Mel xo

  • scharlesworth@san.rr.com'
    Shell
    December 1, 2017

    I too love all your work…it has been so very helpful and I am now feeling FREE after an almost 2 year on and off “relationship”
    that was one disappointment after another, as well as broken promises, trauma, repeated breakup theats and being
    disrespected and with only me being committed . I thought there was something wrong with me that he could not
    come to care enough about me to want to protect/improve our “relationship”. Going NO CONTACT broke the trauma bond and gave me
    a chance to think clearly. Your videos and articles are a Godsend. Thanks and bless you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Shell,

      I am so pleasedly I could help and that you are doing so well and honouring you!

      Sending many blessings your way 🙂

      Mel xo

  • a_maher@rocketmail.com'
    Amanda
    December 1, 2017

    I have modified no contact with my mother, and very able to maintain boundaries with her. No longer with an abusive husband; I have a beautiful, loving relationship, a true partnership. But my survival programming with respect to employment lets me know I am still partly in those old patterns, still not fully trusting God. I did finally go no contact with my abusive government job! I have been looking for another job for several months. Day by day I have the peace that surpasses all understanding. The journey of coming to know one’s implicit worth and preciousness is not an easy one, but “there’s nothing else to do.” Thanks for this video Melanie, and being willing to record it even while “glowing”! You are beautiful.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Amanda,

      so great that you are doing consciousness and the work – you are so right … that is ALL we can do!

      The results are awesome, so why wouldn’t we!

      Thank you for your gorgeous support and word, so appreciated!

      Mel xo

  • consym@comcast.net'
    Consy
    December 1, 2017

    I have never written comments for groups on social media but this subject deserves one. I first want to thank all that Melanie does and the free videos she posts and all the comments that come in to validate what goes on. I was raised by a divorced mother who was very self-absorbed and I now see was a Narcissist! It never dawned on me all those many years. She passed with full on dementia and the anger ( and abusive traits) in her could no longer hide from others that my sister and I dealt with for years. I have been married 3 times and experienced controlling men that I eventually left. My last husband was 20 yrs my senior and very traditional and would “punish” me if I did not do what he wanted with the silent treatment, for days! I now realize he was an N but I had no understanding then. He was most charming but behind closed doors he showed a different side. Now fast forward to today. I am with another N I met at work 30 years ago and was always attracted to. We connected again after my divorce and have lived together 13 years. And lo and behold, he yells and verbally abuses me during disagreements but shows an entirely different persona to friends and colleagues. What is so egregious is he shows no remorse for the hurtful mean spirited things that he says. Shock of shock. I still did not understand what was wrong or why this was happening until a close friend used the word Narcissism! I have been reading any material I could put my hands on and came across this site and all the other souls out there in the same boat. Things started to make a whole lot of sense. I thought I was strong, self supporting and clear about my life, and all of that has shifted over time. I no longer reach out to friends, I am rarely social like I used to be and have pulled back on my business which has created financial stress. And now it all makes sense. I have little family left to help me but am leasing out my condo until next year when I will finally pull this plug and leave. As Melanie said in the video, this takes work on ourselves. I hope and pray someone will come across all this helpful information and change their lives..for the better!! I did not understand this “condition” and wish I knew then what I know now. But we are here together moving forward. I send out much love to this community. Consy

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Consy,

      Thank you for your generous love and recognition to all – it is very sweet of you 🙂

      Consy please know this Community and I fully support you and your journey from here Dear Lady.

      You are SO not alone and we ARE all in this together 🙂

      So much love to you.

      Mel xo

  • hawk00073@hotmail.com'
    Pam
    December 1, 2017

    Another very good Thriver episode, I always manage to learn something, no matter how many times I listen to each episode. I sure can identify with the feeling you described of feeling like we are going to die. I thought for sure this was it for me, and honestly, I welcomed my death, I felt it was the only thing that would stop the pain of being discarded by someone I thought I loved and I trusted with my heart.
    And it’s when I remember when it first happened and really feel it again, I realize just how far I really have come with the modules and all the lessons I have learned from you Melanie and others who are going through the same sort of horror.
    I worked some of the forgiveness module and I tried, really tried hard to forgive and let him go and it was not working at all for me. I didn’t understand why so many people kept telling me I had to forgive and let go, when he didn’t even think he did anything wrong. It’s only the las week or so after much thought and more studying, I believe I can actually start to let him go, finally. Forgiveness is defined as; to stop being angry at that person, and to stop blaming them for what is happening to yourself. It sounded to me like in order to heal I had to let him off the hook and that certainly isn’t what i wanted to do, I wanted him to hurt as bad as I did, just once to admit he was wrong…
    but now I realize that just because I can forgive doesn’t mean I should forget. That I could never do.
    It is an act of faith sometimes, to let something like this just go, but it really does keep you a prisoner and by blaming all your sorrow, pain or whatever on someone else, you make it impossible to start learning about who you are. You are giving them the power still to control your every move. But when you start to accept responsibility for your own life and own that you made the choice to stay with them, only then can you start to become a stronger person unto yourself. Then you can face the reasons why you allowed it to go on in the first place and only then can you start to heal. Because you have to face yourself including all the garbage you’ve carried around possibly your whole life. And only then can you start to forgive yourself and start to see your life through healthy eyes.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 1, 2017

      Hi Pam,

      forgiveness is a massive one. It used to be such a sticking point for me – until I deeply embraced the soul contract – that this was happening “to” me to help me evolve parts of myself that were previously stuck and not functioning as true self. Old traumas I have been carrying around forever.

      This spun the whole thing for me.

      I realised, “THANK goodness this happened so that I could be freed to my True Self.”

      The highest level of forgiveness (true I believe) is “there was nothing to forgive – it was all meant to be.” It’ actually not even about “them” at all!

      Bless you, Pam and I so know you will be free.

      Mel xo

    • Rootsgal@cox.net'
      Kristine
      December 3, 2017

      That was a wonderful post.
      Really hit home with me & taught me.
      Thank you Pam.

  • jraltizer@gmail.com'
    No Name
    December 2, 2017

    Another good episode. Over the years of dealing with several Narc’s I feel like I have upleveled myself quite a bit from my former self. But for the past several months I have been tuning into your Thriver Episodes and even though a lot of what people write here is “old news” for me I STILL find that I have a lot to learn. You have helped me continue to grow and thrive immensely. Thank you!

  • Rootsgal@cox.net'
    Kristine
    December 3, 2017

    I just want to get out and live alone.
    I was great by myself.
    I discovered delivering “gently used books”, to kids in need, was healing childhood abuse wounds.
    I thought I was helping them, but they were filling my heart with joy….all those smiles!
    When I got married, my husband who once thought the “donating gently used books to children in need”, was a good thing, to “she uses that as an excuse to leave the house to sleep with other guys.”
    He fed that lie to everyone and HE was the one in another relationship with someone he worked with. That went on for 7 years.
    She called the police on me and he encouraged her to do it. We have a son who was only 8 at the time. She knew and she did not care.
    He was also gas lighting me. I could not find anything. One day while doing laundry, some “gut feeling” told me to look in a couple specific suitcases way in the back of the basement.
    There was ALL MY STUFF. He hid it to make me out like a psycho so he could use it in court against me.
    His entire family joined in the “hate-train”, and I wanted the world to swallow me whole that day.
    My son, who is now 22 and in college, told me, “Mom, I know you were getting books for kids, I do not believe Dad.”
    That was all that mattered.
    My son believed me and he also saw his Dad hiding our stuff.
    He told me, “people love you Mom, you have to get out of this house and go out and be you.” (smart kid) 🙂
    I use to live alone and I was not lonely. I was busy and engaged in healthy friendships with really cool people.
    Now, I have the means to leave, and save myself.
    Thank you for all the verbal support and validation.

    • emxx@sbcglobal.net'
      Healing
      December 13, 2017

      how wonderful to hear you have the means to go. mine have been in the work place 🙁 .
      now I can focus on a new plan 😀

  • emxx@sbcglobal.net'
    Healing
    December 13, 2017

    I am so pleased with my new responses when the various narcs throw out their narc supply tentacles 😀 . at the moment I find alignment. later is when the weird feelings come and go within me. [those codependent fare-ups, the fear of being punished for in some narc way]. it will never be so bad again that I will endure something bad…… but just knowing how they operate gives me the creeps some times; seeing it happen feels like 1.i’m thrilled i’m not succumbing to them 2.awareness of the next stage of their manipulations….3. going home and feeling like that contrast is getting so old; but they are everywhere. I will keep doing my narps , they help so much.

  • emxx@sbcglobal.net'
    Healing
    December 18, 2017

    omg……… the workplace narc is not there anymore 😀 . thanks to God.

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