Recovery from narcissistic abuse is hard and sometimes you can struggle with symptoms such as constant obsessing, feeling powerless, broken, anxious, depressed and like your lifeforce has gone missing?
Also suffer conditions such as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Fibromyalgia or some other nasty.
In this Thriver TV episode, I explain why you haven’t been able to recover and what is necessary to recover.
I promise you that you can heal for real, you just haven’t known HOW to yet.
Are you struggling to recover from the symptoms of narcissistic abuse such as constant obsessing, feeling powerless, broken, anxious, depressed and like your lifeforce has gone missing?
Maybe you are suffering conditions such as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Fibromyalgia or some other nasty?
So many people ask the questions ‘Will I ever recover?’, ‘When will the pain end?’ and ‘When will I get this person out of my mind?’
These are all valid questions and the truth sadly, in contemporary therapy is that these conditions go on for a long time, if not indefinitely.
In today’s Thriver TV episode, I want to explain to you – point-blank – why you haven’t been able to recover and what is necessary to recover.
Okay, before we get started, thank you for subscribing and your Thriver Mission support. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Am I Defective or Unable To Heal?
I know you may have been experiencing these feelings. Once upon a time, I did too. At times it feels like ‘I am getting there’ and then there is the sliding back down into the abyss and wondering why you aren’t getting better.
I know this is not because you are lazy. So many people who have experienced narcissistic abuse are people who don’t shy away from personal development. You may have been trying to get better in many different ways.
You not getting better is NOT because you can’t recover. I promise you that you can. It’s because the ways you have been trying to recover aren’t working.
Let’s have a look at where we think we should be doing which doesn’t work.
Researching Narcissism and Narcissists
I can’t emphasise enough the 90/10 rule.
How this rule works is this: ninety percent energy and focus is spent on self-recovery and only ten percent on learning about narcissists.
And this rule should only go on for the first month or so. After then it should be all about self-recovery.
Yes, initially, learning what narcissist are and what they do is important. Yet it is a total illusion that researching and learning all there is to know about narcissists will heal you – it doesn’t.
ALL you need to know about the narcissist is this: a narcissist is a false, empty self with dire insecurities, who needs to feed their insatiable false self with other people’s energy and stuff.
They are not capable of feelings and love the way we are. They don’t seek a relationship for the reasons we do, and healthy relationships are not possible with them.
The REAL truth of narcissists, or for that matter anyone, is this: If we don’t share the same values with people – such as kindness, honesty, authenticity, empathy, and teamwork – then this person is not someone we can have a happy, healthy life with.
If we try to change people, narcissist, or non-narcissist, then truly we are abusing ourselves and will remain stuck in disappointing and painful relationships.
So, no matter what you are going through with your trauma or the narcissist – including co-parenting, property disputes, heartbreak, feeling addicted and trauma bonded, and suffering all the narcissistic abuse symptoms – your ONLY hope out of this for REAL is to turn inwards to heal yourself.
Only then will you be able to align with the TRUE Life that will bring you happiness, safety and decency, and leave behind the one that doesn’t.
Is it hard? Absolutely. But it is near impossible without doing the inner work. Research will NOT get you there. And even if you do leave the relationship, you will struggle to leave healthily and rebuild and heal.
Narcissists will keep coming into your life and be a blight upon your Inner Identity and soul until you do the self-recovery work. This means you stop looking outwards at WHAT happened to you and come inwards to heal WHY it happened.
Researching Your Trauma Symptoms
It is 100% NOT true that you will have C-PTSD (Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or other nervous system, anxiety or physical disorders, that have happened to you through narcissistic abuse, for life.
Yes, they are terrible … totally.
I also had trauma symptoms that I was told were incurable and so would need anti psychotics for me to cope.
I promise you this was a lie. I’m not blaming the doctors who told me this – they had been indoctrinated into believing this was true.
One of the main reasons why you aren’t recovering is because you are choosing to believe what other victims of narcissistic abuse and contemporary therapists are telling you…
That you can only hope to try to manage the symptoms; that you will need coping strategies and possibly medication; and that it will take years, maybe even a lifetime of therapy, to function and maybe heal.
I urge you to take your power back and to choose NOT to believe what you are being told.
You have the power to decide your truth going forwards, and you have the power to heal at your core so that there aren’t ongoing trauma symptoms to battle and manage.
If you join ‘survivor’ groups and PTSD groups, then you are cementing your victimhood. You become what you choose to believe about yourself – that you are sick and that you are a victim.
Yes, you have been victimised and at present you are sick, but when you release the trauma that is driving these states out of your body, you just won’t be.
Joining and believing in victimised groups is one of the surest ways you will delay or completely forgo true healing.
In that orientation you may feel some comfort in shared victimhood, but if true healing and release from the pain and abuse programs and patterns is your goal, there are better options for you.
Trying to Force Justice or Accountability
Another way to severely stunt recovery is to believe that you can’t heal until the narcissist is brought to justice.
This will completely delay your healing.
The Laws of Life work like this: if we require anything outside of ourselves to change for us to be whole, we have handed our power away and change doesn’t happen.
Yet, if you decide to make it your personal mission to heal yourself and become whole, regardless of what is or isn’t happening (without conditions), then you will reach unconditional wholeness on the inside.
Then you will graduate into knowing the Powerful Quantum Creator you really are, seeing the shift on the outside that matches your inner state of wholeness.
It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without.
Not Getting the Trauma Out
Before people start working with energetic body healing, they may or may not know why it is necessary.
It’s necessary to release trauma, because it’s the toxic infection inside us that is not allowing us to be whole, real and healed.
If you have ongoing, unhealed trauma inside you, it affects your entire emotional, mental and physical systems. You are diminished and use up vital lifeforce trying to survive the trauma.
This is the state of being in Survival, rather than being free to enter into the Creation of your Life.
Because the trauma is so painful, often we can’t bear it and we may need to self-medicate with prescription drugs, excessive exercise, meditation or spiritual practices.
Or we start ‘searching’ or ‘researching’ to try to dull the anxiety and stop the depression hitting.
Or we may take up other addictions such as smoking, drinking, eating, working excessively or social media.
If we constantly HAVE to do these things – and we believe we do – it is because they are only managing our symptoms. They are NOT healing us.
We can’t release trauma mentally, logically or cognitively. It can’t be contacted, loaded up or reprogrammed by our cognitive mind. It just isn’t possible.
Energetic body healing is the new science to deal with trauma.
Interestingly, at first it is really counter-intuitive to do. It involves contacting our feeling centres, which most of us were trained out of doing.
Yet, when we re-connect and come home to ourselves within, it becomes the most natural, soothing and powerful process to do. And RIDICULOUSLY easy!
Okay, so now I’m inviting you to this process, to learn more about it and to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself. The system that allows you to find, load up and release your trauma, and to start living free from it and heal in all areas of your life – not just narcissistic abuse.
So, come heal with me in the Thriver Way by clicking this link to the free Healing Workshop – replay available.
And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.
Latest posts by Melanie Tonia Evans (see all)
- 7 Steps To Getting Healthy After Narcissistic Abuse - December 5, 2019
- 3 Ways To Get Any Narcissist To Leave You Alone - December 2, 2019
- How To Deal With A Smear Campaign Without Losing Your Sanity - November 28, 2019