Melanie Tonia Evans

Shifts Happen – Not Feeling Safe

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 2
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

The triggers that prevent us from feeling safe can be so confusing and insidious.

And they could even be happening in our own home!

This was the case for Louise who I worked with on Thriver TV.

Find out what can be some of the deeper True Reasons we don’t feel safe in Life, as well as be able to shift your own fears that have been limiting your Life …

… in this weeks Thriver TV Shifts Happen episode.

 

NEWSFLASH: I received a beautiful message from Louise the day after her healing – about her huge breakthrough in entering certain rooms in the house with virtually NO charge!

She was stunned and thrilled in regard to how this and other things related to this healing session had shifted so fast!

(Louise will fill you in more regarding her shift in the comments below!)

Please share with me how YOU felt after participating in this Quanta Freedom Healing session.

Also, I’d love to hear your feedback in regard to the Shifts Happen series, and if you would like to see more!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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53 Thoughts on Shifts Happen – Not Feeling Safe
  • tracelizzy1970@gmail.com'
    smiler
    September 15, 2016

    I am so looking forward to doing this tonight after work. Maybe then I will at last be able to identify the actual trauma that has caused me to live a life of fear of not being good enough/fear of failure. I got my degree, I have ran marathons, I have beautiful family and husband of my own but still I can only explain that a piece of my jigsaw was always missing. That bit is now found following the painful narc abuse and hours of reflection and working on me from within. The only thing left now is to find the moment this feelings started and rid myself of it all forever. Well done to both of you. Incredible people. X

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2016

      Hi Smiler,

      that is so great that you are looking forward to doing this shift, and are so keen to work on you from within.

      Thank you for your lovely comment, and much blessings to you!

      Mel xo

      • tracelizzy1970@gmail.com'
        smiler
        September 17, 2016

        Well after apprehension I eventually did this a couple of hours ago. I was not long into it when my jaw was clenching with anger and then my body was shaking in fear and anger. My age was 3 years old. Again fear of being outcast, having to please people to try and gain a little love. I don’t know the exact incident though…does that matter Mel? My fear was of my mother. When you asked my score it started on a 9, then it ended up at 0. Amazing in every way. I look forward to my future now realising this: I am loved for being me… not what I can do for others. I have just written this down as it came to me out of nowhere: I have everything but I don’t deserve it. Enough said. That has been my ingrained belief. Thank goodness my children have been loved from the minute of conception. I have a husband that’s so caring, take part in sports and achieve, have a fab job I love, holidays, car, friends and a nice house. I have worked hard for it all as has my husband so yes we deserve it and you know what I deserve my 4 beautiful children and I hope there life is much better with no jigsaw price missing for over 40 years. Anyway who’s laughing now: what I was searching for was what I always had. Toxic people no more. Love to you all. You can do this. Mel thank you for everything x

    • moray2910@gmail.com'
      Louise
      September 18, 2016

      Hi Smiler, Thanks for your wonderful message of support. I can really relate to what you have said and wish you the very best on your journey! XO

      • tracelizzy1970@gmail.com'
        smiler
        September 19, 2016

        Louise I also wish you the best and thanks for this video with Mel. It’s 24 hrs later and I feel so different. It’s relief beyond belief. ☺

  • dawn.stonecottage@gmail.com'
    Dawn
    September 15, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    I was very happy to see that you recommended IMAGINING THE PAST LIFE SELF – survival program – along with Little Me..

    This is EXACTLY what I’ve been doing in recent modules INSTINCTIVELY , the modules have ALL been about a past life survival program. When I began to see her it was a revelation. I cried for days! Out of recognition and relief… In all the following modules that I did on that topic, she came up straight away. In fact, her life before the trauma she experienced (not just her, the whole tribe), is the life I have always known was my truest expression of who I am.

    She is a Native American.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2016

      Hi Dawn,

      I am so glad you enjoyed that – it is a powerful add on protocol … when the moment arises to use it!

      How awesome you have been led to work with that anyway ….

      Powerful are the releases when we shift HUGE stuff within us!

      We truly do know “I’ve just changed!!”

      Mel xo

  • johnwoods519@tpg.com.au'
    John
    September 15, 2016

    Such powerful stuff. I think personally I am getting stuck. When you say how old is it, I go to what I can only say is previous lives. It’s like I am watching a motion picture, and it is so strong that I cry like a baby.

    My mind so analysis the fact that this is a previous life that I then have trouble moving forward with the rest of the healing. Hope this makes sense

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2016

      Hi John,

      it truly is about “getting ourselves out of the way” and going with the process trusting what our subconscious brings up.

      If you are finding it really hard to do that – then there is a stuck belief preventing it.

      If you tapped into this “over analysis stuck feeling” and tracked THAT through your body, then you will find within what it is that is the belief limiting you from continuing the process – then you clear that in exactly the same way.

      Then the process should open up to you to do again.

      Are you in the NARP Forum John, where you can get the guidance and support to work through each and any block as it presents?

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      Mel xo

  • Info@melparkerphoto.com'
    Mel
    September 15, 2016

    Hi, thank you both so much for this amazing healing session. I felt goosebumps as well. I could really relate to those topics and the past life collective survival programs. For me the beliefs “if I speak my truth, or if I don’t please people I am going to be annihilated” have caused havoc in my life. It is so empowering discovering ancient topics and being able to heal them together watching the videos. I can feel your supporting energy virtually coming through the computer screen 🙂 Thank you! I look forward to your next video.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2016

      Hi Mel,

      my pleasure 🙂

      Wow – how awesome you are realising the trauma of survival programs and wanting to clear them … it is life-changing when we do!

      Bless!

      Mel xo

  • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
    Lorraine
    September 15, 2016

    Thank you to both of you for this.
    I think these sessions are really valuable and I appreciate them.
    Louise so happy you can now be comfortable in your own home and that you found your voice.?

    I am going to use the 123 formula here.

    1 . One thing that came up for me was that going back to my ancient dna , I am not fully human.
    There is some other strain in me and there are many others like me.
    There is something deeply implanted that it is not safe for me to express myself
    or my intuitions and truth , that it has to be secret unless I find others I instinctively know are my tribe.And no one believes me anyway.
    In my ancient timeline I ” came out ” to someone I thought I could trust but I was betrayed and killed.
    This has echoes down my timeline.And it keeps repeating.
    I mentioned before that I call it the Cassandra complex.
    2.
    i feel I can only be myself when I am alone but this makes me feel lonely and isolated and sad.
    i feel like an outsider always trying to be a chameleon to try and fit in and blend in and not expressing stuff that I know people will think is weird.
    (I am going public with this here…taking a risk! )

    3
    I think I can find the core beliefs.I am different, If I am myself I will be destroyed.
    Noone believes me or likes me.
    But what belief could I replace them with in my subconscious without dishonouring what my body knows to be true, that I am different and a bit weird?

    • wopla@gmx.com'
      Miba
      September 16, 2016

      I accept myself, I love myself and I approve of myself unconditionally (it’s a simple one, to-the-point and one that Melanie has used herself).

      It really starts with you and how you relate to yourself.

      When you feel and think positively of yourself, then others can feel and see this and mirror this back to you (at least non-disordered, decent people do this).

      Radical Self Love is key 🙂 You can do it! ♥

      • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
        FLH
        September 16, 2016

        Almost Miba
        But I am looking for a nuance that hits the nail on the head.
        I havent found it yet

        • wopla@gmx.com'
          Miba
          September 16, 2016

          Keep looking! You can do it! See if you can get some inspiration from ‘feeling words’ lists :).

    • dawn.stonecottage@gmail.com'
      Dawn
      September 16, 2016

      Those beliefs of needing to camouflage yourself are totally what I was getting with the ancient one, Lorraine. When I identified it in this NARP module, it all fell into place…
      Out of fear of being discovered, we blended into the ”oppressors” race and had to look, talk and dress like them.
      I realize now that it was their own fear of us, as we were stronger, deeper, wiser and had something else, a connection to a deeper reality… that caused them to try to exterminate us and oppress us.

      What I’ve been doing instead of trying to find words, is trying to find the feeling of myself as this ancient person BEFORE the trauma occurred. When I was one with my tribe and 100% accepted, loved, supported by them (we are actually like one organism, there is no sense of separateness), there is sense of being part of the natural cycle of growth and death, oneness with nature, nature supports us, we are connected to our Source/Creator…
      Since this revelation surfaced I’ve been so grateful for the direction and purpose it has given me.
      I have through it found the foundation to so many ” whimsical ” ideas I have had – I have an unshakeable conviction now.

      Also what you say about being ” different” I think is becoming more apparent all over the world, it feels like a tectonic shift – we can’t hide anymore, we’re done camouflaging, what we have within us needs to be expressed, it needs to surface. It will, and is, doing this in it’s own time, through us, all we need to do is peel back the layers.

      • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
        FLH
        September 16, 2016

        Thank you so much Dawn

      • tracelizzy1970@gmail.com'
        smiler
        September 16, 2016

        Wow! Amazing ?

      • tracelizzy1970@gmail.com'
        smiler
        September 16, 2016

        Music is my therapy also..

        Liking Lady Gaga Perfect Illusion

        That will hit a cord

        Great day to all ?

    • uoksainos@yahoo.com.ar'
      Sonia
      September 16, 2016

      I just love this community!!! Melanie and Louise did my day today, God (within) Bless Them.
      Now Lorraine, OMG, you just hit the nail on the head for me. Don’t know how you managed to come up with a 123 step for Cassandra complex. I must admit had to look it up in the Wikipedia. Your intuitive knowledge is admirable, to come up with what I would call “the original sin”. I’ll transcribe some of what is in the Wikipedia because it relates so much to me, quote:
      “In a 1988 study, Jungian analyst Laurie Layton Schapira, explored what she called the “Cassandra Complex” in the lives of two of her analysands
      Based on clinical experience, she delineates three factors which constitute the Cassandra complex:
      1. dysfunctional relationships with the “Apollo archetype”,
      2. emotional or physical suffering, including hysteria (conversion disorder) or “women’s problems”,
      3. and being disbelieved when attempting to relate the facticity of these experiences to others.”

      “…In 1963, psychologist Melanie Klein provided an interpretation of Cassandra as representing the human moral conscience whose main task is to issue warnings. Cassandra as moral conscience, predicts ill to come and warns that punishment will follow and grief arise. Cassandra’s need to point out moral infringements and subsequent social consequences is driven by what Klein calls “the destructive influences of the cruel super-ego,” which is represented in the Greek myth by the god Apollo, Cassandra’s overlord and persecutor.”

      “…In 1989, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California, published an essay on the god Apollo in which she detailed a psychological profile of the ‘Cassandra woman’ whom she suggested referred to someone suffering — as happened in the mythological relationship between Cassandra and Apollo — a dysfunctional relationship with an “Apollo man”. Bolen added that the Cassandra woman may exhibit “hysterical” overtones, and may be disbelieved when attempting to share what she knows. “As an archetype, Apollo personifies the aspect of the personality that wants clear definitions, is drawn to master a skill, values order and harmony, and prefers to look at the surface rather than at what underlies appearances. The Apollo archetype favors thinking over feeling, distance over closeness, objective assessment over subjective intuition.
      Of what she describes as the negative Apollonic influence, Dr. Bolen writes:
      Individuals who resemble Apollo have difficulties that are related to emotional distance, such as communication problems, and the inability to be intimate… Rapport with another person is hard for the Apollo man. He prefers to access (or judge) the situation or the person from a distance, not knowing that he must “get close up” – be vulnerable and empathic – in order to truly know someone else…. But if the woman wants a deeper, more personal relationship, then there are difficulties… she may become increasingly irrational or hysterical. Bolen suggests that a Cassandra woman (or man) may become increasingly hysterical and irrational when in a dysfunctional relationship with a negative Apollo, and may experience others’ disbelief when describing her experiences.”

      Sorry about the lenght of this excerpt, but I couldn’t leave any bits out.
      Please Melanie, honour Lorraine’s comments, she has given us a pretty good idea of where it all stems from, and (as she very wisely puts it), we need your wise advise and guidance on what beliefs need to be replaced in our subconscious without dishonouring what we know to be true, it has been a very painfully long and lonely journey but I feel we can finally make a major quantum leap with this.

      • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
        FLH
        September 16, 2016

        My goodness Sonia thank you for that.
        I thought I had come up with the Cassandra complex myself!
        I was married to an Apollo man and it was so painful .
        Lots to research there and hopefully guide me to a better understanding and release

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        September 16, 2016

        Hi Sonia,

        please don’t apologise for the length.

        This I have discovered in my own incredible healing journey is that the less analysis the better ..

        Truly.

        Trauma is trauma in our body.

        And that trauma could have any origin whatsoever.

        And when we simply replace the “fear” in our body – by releasing it and bring in “love” Source as the replacement – we get well.

        Naturally, organically and durably.

        I used to be a study, learning, workshop, research person – totally looking for answers intellectually.

        Now I simply go inside my body to “what hurts” and load it up and let it go – and bring in Source / God / My Higher Self (life-force) to replace it.

        I then become an embodiment of love, flow, inspiration and health.

        Who naturally knows HOW to be and WHAT to do from the innate wise part inside me that Just Is. (As it is with all of us).

        And reflect that in my life in all areas (add it to the world).

        Truly … that is the path that bypasses all confusion and complication.

        So many of us in the NARP Community have these experiences and wonder why on earth we were trying to do it the “human” way.

        Mel xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2016

      Hi Lorraine,

      you are so welcome!

      I am glad you are enjoying Shifts Happen sessions 🙂

      Are you working with NARP and in the NARP Forum?

      Because in the forum we intensively coach and guide you with any shifts that you are struggling with …

      All of what you mentioned can be shifted, and once the trauma is released then you are free to replace it with your True Self energy on any given topic.

      There are ways to do this wth the Goal Setting Nodule where you don’t even need to “know” what the replacement is … it can be organic Higher Self truth that aways has our highest and best covered.

      That is one of the protocols we work wth a lot in the Forum!

      Also you can absolutely shift out of being “weird” and “different” into the embodiment of being “unique” and here to share your unique gifts and contributions (that only you can share) with the world.

      Then you will have the freedom to be yourself – IF all beliefs that have been blocking that and “remembering” intense persecution are shifted.

      I hope this helps Lorraine!

      Mel xo

      • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
        FLH
        September 16, 2016

        Thank you.
        Yes I am in the forum.
        Though I dont think I am unique in this context, I think there are there are many like me
        I need to clear out the attached trauma I have been carrying for sure.
        And watching this video helped me come to the realisation .

        • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
          FLH
          September 16, 2016

          Oh! I know now….I will ask Source to connect me energetically to my tribe
          Past present and future!
          That gets a big in the body “yes”

          • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
            FLH
            September 16, 2016

            I am really excited now…I can see how so much of the narc related stuff was built on this wound of spiritual and physical separation disconnection and isolation whilst having my abilities exploited.
            Louise I am sure your bravery in coming forward to do this will help lots of people
            ❤️❤️

          • dawn.stonecottage@gmail.com'
            Dawn
            September 16, 2016

            Yes from me too FLH… Time is not an obstacle in the quantum world!

      • totaliving@cox.net'
        Hilary
        September 20, 2016

        Lorraine,
        Thank you! I had the exact belief come up clear as day, “If I am myself, I will be destroyed.” I had the sense of being killed for being myself and speaking up in a past life. I have also had same experience of feeling I can only be myself when I am alone but then am so lonely. My recent Narc experience was one where I finally thought it was safe to be myself so I revealed myself and was met with exactly what my subconscious belief has been – he discounted me, questioned me, didn’t believe me, and dragged me through an emotional beating. I had even said to him early on, “you can now destroy me.” That was before I knew anything about Narc abuse and NARP. Thankfully, I recognized the unhealthy, codependent patterns I was expressing, I cut things off and shortly after found Melanie and NARP and have been in no contact since, have worked thru the NARP program (still repeating modules as needed) and have started the Empowered Self course and am so thankful!

        I also have lived as a chameleon most of my life trying to fit in but secretly feeling I am just different and I see things so much differently than those around me and I rarely have felt safe to share, even with close friends, because they won’t see it, get it, or they’ll just dismiss it = major pain and feeling of disconnection and separation for me. It’s a big deal for me to write this here, but I felt moved by your sharing (Thank you again!), and I felt a huge release with this healing today. Thank you, Melanie and Lousie!

        And thank you, Melanie, for your advice to use the Goal Setting Module to shift the above. I did not see or feel this one so clearly (SO CLEARLY!) until doing this healing with you today, so I’ll be doing that next.

        Thank you and so much love,
        Hilary

    • moray2910@gmail.com'
      Louise
      September 18, 2016

      Thank you for your support Lorraine! XO

  • wopla@gmx.com'
    Miba
    September 16, 2016

    Ohhh Louise ♥ The moment you said 9, I clapped my hands.

    When we shift such big emotional trauma out of the body it’s so great! GOOD JOB! (btw the music in the background had me cracking up). Loving the bass (so irrelevant, but can’t help it, gotta shake my bootay when I hear music :).

    At some point Tiggy seemed to have responded the moment Mel mentioned the ‘in a N relationship, you can never seem to do enough or be enough’.

    Tiggy looks like a king haha :). He looks so well fed!

    Loving the lipstick Melanie! ♥

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2016

      Mia,

      Tiggy is totally well fed … I think he needs to come on a run with me 🙂

      Thanks for the lipstick comment!!

      Mel xo

    • moray2910@gmail.com'
      Louise
      September 18, 2016

      Hi Miba, I know – how funny is the music! I was completely oblivious to it at the time. XO

  • tracysuzanne51@btinternet.com'
    Tracy
    September 16, 2016

    Hi Louise and Mel.

    Thank you Louise for starring in this weeks quantum healing. You showed up as your authentic you. I take my hat off to you.

    I could relate to the quantum healing as I am sure a lot of people will relate to this topic. I could feel the energy and shifted right with you on my commute to work. I looked forward to hear how you progress Louise.

    Mel- I loved Tiggys start performance for a few seconds. I have a cat that has adopted me from our local neighbourhood and loves to walk in front of the camera when I am on Skype.

    Blessings and love to you both.

    Tracy (Aka New Horizon) xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 17, 2016

      Hi Tracy,

      thank you for your gorgeous comment!!

      Cat’s adore being “in on it”! They are sooooo funny!

      Much blessings and love back to you dear lady!

      Mel xo

    • moray2910@gmail.com'
      Louise
      September 18, 2016

      Hi Tracy, I have had an amazing week! I’m back living life with my family downstairs and even starting to get back out into the community. So many things fell into place after the healing. I know the power of NARP, but I was still stunned at the speed of the recovery. So incredibly grateful to Mel and NARP. XO

  • sharabb99@hotmail.com'
    Healing Path
    September 17, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    Thank you very much for this healing session with Louise. I could relate to these topics so much, I’ve being getting ancient alot recently doing the NARP modules, when you ask how old is this part of you, when you discussed in this healing session the past previous DNA carrying the trauma, I could feel my grandmother suffered trauma which she did not heal and it was great to include her in the healing as I felt a big shift using this healing session to release ancient trauma.

    Thank you again for your support to us during this healing journey.

    Best wishes and lots of love
    Healing Path xxxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 17, 2016

      Hi Healing Path,

      It’s my pleasure 🙂

      It is true, so many of our core wounds are ancient … the human experience as a collective has suffered from them – with certain families to varying degrees.

      It’s awesome you are getting to the bottom of dismantling that stuff and getting free from it.

      Blessings and much love to you too HP!

      Mel xo

  • Maganaamber25@yahoo.com'
    Amber
    September 17, 2016

    Hi Mel and Louise!! Thanks for sharing this moment with all of us! I read how successful your healing with Mel was in the forum!! Very happy for you!! I know it can be done, you are one step closer to your emotional freedom. I watched one of Oprah’s Soul Sunday’s video and heard what most of the people want in this life is not actual money, luxuries, real estate what people actually most yearn for is emotional freedom. And you and myself are one step closer to that. Mel your program and QFH has done wonders for me,as well. I was one of the people who thought it was some wahoo tool (QFH) boy! Was I wrong? It was not actually until 9 months of reading your blogs and watching your videos did I know “Ok, this lady is the real deal here!”. Gods timing is always right. I purchased your program and here I am 9 months into it and I have been sober for 4 months, returned to college for my dream job that I have always thought I was incapable of. I have learned that it was not actually about the narcissist instead it was of my wounding that got me to that breakdown, that brought me to your program. The narcissist was the messenger. It was a gift!! I will always be grateful to the narcissist on a soul level (love that anology). I still have work to do but, I have faith I will get there! I know now, what I came to the universe for, and that is something nothing ever will take away from me again❤️ I am awake. Much love girls!! And if you have not given QFH a try I strongly suggest you do it truly is a blessing!! Amber

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 17, 2016

      Hi Amber,

      your message is sooo full of love and energy!

      You feel like your are positively bouncing 🙂

      Emotional Freedom is TOTALLY where it is at!

      The irony being everything we tried to “get” was to try to produce the feeling of emotional freedom, yet by working on freeing ourselves from inner traumas we can become emotional freedom as a true Inner State regardless of what we do or don’t have.

      Then … ironically …. everything we wanted in our life just starts pouring in!

      That is so wonderful that QFH has helped you so much too, it’s awesome!

      Keep up the great work Amber and thank you for your response here!

      Mel xo

  • upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
    Devon
    September 18, 2016

    Thank you Mel and Thank you Louise!! I had an incredible shift that I’m able to keep working with. The next step for me is up levelling the ‘war torn’ little me who came crying out for healing. I’m so grateful to have this tool for which to do the work with and to feel so solidly on the path. Soooooooooo effective and so efficient! Like you said Mel its saves decades of therapy. I’ve been working NARP for just twelves months now and the change in my life is nothing short of miraculous. I’m still in a bit of disbelief when I look back at who I was and the circumstances of my life. As i change my inner landscape, my outer world changes effortlessly. I’m beyond words with gratitude for the gift you have given, and continue to give. Much love to you both xoxoxo

    Oh and I LOVE the addition of the ‘ancient me’ together with the ‘little me’, that was really, really effective, I’ll be adding that in to my NARP work for sure. The last couple of updates have been totally well received on a cellular level in my body.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 19, 2016

      Hi Devon,

      you are so welcome, and that is wonderful that you had such a shift!

      I am so happy for you that NARP has helped transform you so much and that the protocol resonated with you!

      Keep up the wonderful self-work Devon 🙂

      Mel xo

  • nac2135@gmail.com'
    Healing_and_growing
    September 19, 2016

    Dear Melanie,

    I believe my ex is a narcissist and he was the one who cut me out cold-turkey and moved on with his life. I was in another country visiting him, and saw other toxic patterns he has, such as enmeshment with his daughters and estrangement from his siblings. We broke up in a horrible way, he said he wanted distance and no contact, when I saw him again a few weeks later I wanted to see if we could talk but he had plans with another woman… sending me a message that he threw me away, moving on with his life.

    My question is, do narcissists ever cut people out immediately and move on with their life? It seemed like he was doing no contact with me, ironically.

    Thanks for this amazing work!

    Healing and growing

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 19, 2016

      Hi Healing and Growing,

      yes they can – truly.

      The deal with N’s is this – they bring to us “what hurts” us the most – what it is within us that needs to heal.

      If being discarded and being emotionally alone and overlooked is our old wounds, then this is the wounds the N will trigger.

      And there lies the emancipation from our pain, going within to unravel and heal what the N’s bring up in us for healing.

      I hope this helps you understand where your focus needs to be and what at the deepest levels of truth this was always about.

      Mel xo

  • triciajoelle@gmail.com'
    Tricia
    September 20, 2016

    Woah! I was away for a week house sitting and spent the time on “me”…. a rare occasion. I listened to this video, fell asleep half way through. Woke up with immediately “oh, another modality that doesn’t work”. (Not so fast, grasshopper! LOL) I went outside for a smoke- something was different. Subtle. I’m off the charts energy sensitive. Then, after a few puffs- didn’t feel like it. My posture shifted, movements became more graceful, as pre- narc days.

    The next morning I awoke in panic. “I can’t afford to support myself without him”. If he leaves, I’ll die. My friends of past strongly disagree. (Friends are long gone, after 18 years with the narc).

    House sitting over, back home. OMG! He must feel my shift. He’s the worst he’s ever been. Before, he would subtly let me know I’m worthless with walking away while I’m talking, or interrupting with playing with the dog, or changing the subject when I took a breath in a sentence. Now? He’s just “kiss my ass, you piece of dirt” attitude from him. It’s not how he is that is important. It’s how I’m reacting. I no longer cower and do the “i’ll make it right” (That was the first ten years, as I shook- no place to go, no money to get there- have to calm him down). And, I no longer rationalize with him that this not normal behavior and he needs help, which I did up until before I left 2 weeks ago. Now? I react to him as if he is a normal adult, not an entitled spoiled five year old. Oh, it pisses him off. (Oh, I don’t care.)

    Pre-narc, I’ve done bzillion healing modalities to fix what is wrong with me. “I feel this way, where does it originate from”. And, truth be told, I’m exhausted from, once again, doing it again. How many times can I dance this dance? But the alternative? Not pretty. I have TIA’s (mini strokes), adrenals are shot, and hair is falling out in handsfulls.

    I always wondered how this was to end. Me throwing him out? I’d need a security system. He’s already threatened to burn the house down. And he’s having too much darn fun tormenting me to leave on his own. But I read a review on the website. A woman said, “I started working the program, and he just decided to leave”. Never thought that could be an option.

    There was a period of time when the rose colored glasses started to clear, and it was constant “kick in the gut, knock the wind out of me” realizations. Then, I heard the term “narcissism” (more psychopath, too). Stage 1- furious that I had to give him MORE energy to learn how he ticks, and decided not to. Stage 2- learned about it so I can play emotional chess with him, and the fighting go worse. Stage 3- beat myself up that here I am, borderline brilliant, and this uneducated thug with common sense of a rock can be so manipulative. Stage 4- trying to get it through my head that he doesn’t care, and it’s not personal- he’s incapable. Let me clarify- “relationship” turned into survival over a decade ago. Stage 5- total detachment, and learn to take care of myself.

    Somewhere through the years, I went from a “prissy girly girl” with bleached teeth, toned and tan… to barely taking a shower once a month, or any other personal care. And it is NOT depression. With him being my only human contact, somewhere along the way, I adjusted to his belief that I”m worthless. (Or, got tired of being raged at for existing- talking about myself, wanting anything for myself- including, at times, food).

    So, now I’m focusing on taking care of myself…. even with negative repercussions. And I know he can feel my energy of detachment. Eventually he’ll be nice to pull me in, and this time there won’t be “thank God, there’s peace” and life goes on. This time I’ll hear “come closer so I can slap you”.

    I don’t love him. I’ve hated him for years. A third of my life, truth be told. But, I literally have no friends or family or job. And I think, “what happens if my car breaks down? How will I pay the bills? If I got sick or needed surgery, who would take me? Etc.” So, I’m slowly dieing with him, but feel I’ll die alone. I have visions of starving with no electric or utilities. And how do I apply for a job with no skills other than “picked up after an overgrown child, put out his fires, stayed in survival mode”.

    The honest truth is- he’s my mother, a narc. I knew it for years. And for being on this earth for 57 years, I’ve had her, or her voice in my head, or myself taking her role with myself, and then this one here.The sad part? I can’t turn the clock back, get back those horrible holidays, missed vacations, get a degree, have a career, have kids and the experiences that go along with it…. And he distracts me from that pain.

    So, I’ll keep working the program and feel the shifts. Rebuilding? Have no idea where to begin with that…. absolutely no idea. Enjoying life to its fullest is such a foreign concept… or making choices as to what/ when to eat…. or having a conversation and being heard and validated….. for now.

    • moray2910@gmail.com'
      Louise
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Tricia

      Thanks so much for sharing your story. There’s much there that I and I’m sure many others can relate to. NARP has been life changing for me, so I’d really encourage you to keep going with the healings. It was important for me, when I first realised what had been going on in my life, to write down what had happened. I read and reread my journal many times. When I started NARP though, I knew it was time to put the focus back on me and my recovery. From that point, I haven’t stopped moving forward. The numbness and overwhelm slipped away and life began again. You can do this and get your life back – better than ever! Sending you much love and light. XO

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 28, 2016

      Hi Tricia,

      I can totally relate to at times previously thinking “why do I need to do more work?” … now … however… I am so pleased I continued reaching into and up levelling trauma because my life is so free, healthy and extended now and never could have been while I was trying to survive all the trauma wedged inside.

      I do promise you dear lady – that one day, if you keep at it, you will have pulled enough “bricks out of the wall” (false and painful beliefs) that the whole lot collapses and you are out the other side in a green meadow feeling whole.

      Then of course there will always be “more” to do – but it is nothing like the digging your way out of trauma for survival necessity. It is more like doing up levelling simply to expand into further joy, expansion and fulfilment.

      I also promise you that the more trauma that goes, the more space there is for the good suff … then fulfilment and happiness and moving into generating more of that …. becomes organic – because it truly is our True Self state without the trauma.

      Keep going 🙂

      Mel xo

      • triciajoelle@gmail.com'
        Tricia
        October 2, 2016

        Thank you both for the encouragement and kind words. Phew! What a whirlwind! And hour ago I read your comments and teared up…. people actually hear me, acknowledge me, know I’m alive! Then, something in the house didn’t seem right. I went down to “his room” (haven’t shared a room in years). it was cleaned out of his clothes. But he left all of his tools. We are rehabbing a house. I’m numb right now. I’m unemployed. One aquaintance said “will you accept this opportunity to finally break free?” WHAT? To decide to have a clean house, what to eat and when to eat? To wear makeup? Then….. “What to eat? There’s not going to be any food! Clean house? I’ll be freezing with no heat! And my makeup is circa 2008! who am I kidding!” Bottom line? I’m sooo scared. How do I function with choice of what I want, not what keeps this lunatic calm? How do I leave the house and not think he’s going to burn it down? (which he’s threatened before). I think I’m just going to listen to all of the seminars from this website, and reread the comments above from Melanie and Louise. On one hand, I can’t believe its over (i’m free) and on the other hand, I can’t believe its over (I’m going to financially die)”.

  • moray2910@gmail.com'
    Louise
    September 24, 2016

    Hi everyone

    I thought I’d give everyone a little update about the amazing things that have been happening in my life since I began NARP and did my QFH healing with Mel.

    After a big clean up, I’m now back living in all rooms in the downstairs area of my home. One room is still a disaster zone, but it’s on my list and I’ll get to it soon. I feel calm about this. Not like it’s a weight hanging over my head, but like it’s another opportunity to get back on track. My wonderful kids have been right beside me, as we undertook the cleaning project as a team. I have kissed my youngest daughter goodnight in her own bedroom, for the first time in many years. This was a sweet moment indeed!

    Other things have fallen into place or come to a head in ways I would never have expected. I feel forward momentum in my life! I’ve been to the local supermarket on my own and I’m heading out for brunch with friends tomorrow. These are things that would never have happened only 2 weeks ago!

    And, a lovely homeless man, who sometimes says a simple “Hello” or “Nice day!” to me, told me that “I am looking younger each day!”. Prior to NARP I was looking older each day I’m sure.

    Since I began NARP only months ago, I feel enormous relief from the overwhelmed state I was in and a sense of calm that has been missing from my life for a long time. I’m no longer existing in a numb, disempowered state. NARP has given me my freedom, my emotions and my voice back. My kids and I will be forever grateful to Mel for this.

    Sending everyone who finds themselves in a similar situation much love and light! Thank you to all for your support. XO

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 28, 2016

      Hi Louise,

      its so lovely to hear about these breakthroughs its this Shifts Happen healing!!!

      Awwww your children must be so happy also that you have healed past that trauma now!

      How gorgeous you are having lunch with friends now!!

      Thank you for your share honey and I am so pleased the healing helped!!

      YAY to you celebrating you as more of your True Self!

      Mel xo

  • cmarekmatejka@gmail.com'
    Wildflower
    September 28, 2016

    I think before we go too far back into alien civilizations, I think we need only look to our dominant historical religious roots where we KNOW we were all supressed from speaking our truth and oppressed and faced annilation, persecution or torture if we dared to step outside of those parameters. This has been the common thread among human civilizations. We ARE slowly waking up and we ARE ABLE to finally speak up and have a voice in many parts of the world.

    I woke up at 2 am in emotional pain last night while my two young adult children stirred restlessly in their rooms. I decided to participate in this quantum healing session and paused the tape to give my own answers before I heard Louise’s. To my surprise at the time, mine and Louse’s issues were “totally” the same…even the first trigger point (children’s rooms in the house…then the corresponding ages!!!). I think we all do collectively share these traumas both genetically passed down, then expressed and modelled by our traumatized parents. I’m so glad to be able to finally work these traumas out and uplevel to a place where I can feel peace. I still struggle so much with lonliness and feeling so isolated and different and not able to connect with others. My goal is to rid myself of this. I know I’ll have to go back in many times to work on this. Feels daunting at times. I’m afraid that by upleveling I’ll only feel more isolated and set apart. Any thoughts on this?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 28, 2016

      Hi Wildflower,

      it was great that you were able to connect to this healing.

      Wildflower, the healing path is always the same – any block, confusion, fear (trauma) can be healed, dissolved and replaced by going to it in our body and up-levelling it. Which is exactly what QFH and NARP (one wound at a time) produces ….

      Including the one you just named “Healing myself will isolate me from others” … its a false and painful belief it is not your True Self, so therefore that can be released and then it simply will not exist any more.

      I know sometimes it can seem too “simple”, but that is the absolute truth when we start committing to healing ourselves in Quantum Ways.

      Mel xo

  • jec8htlwdmq@outlook.com'
    Doc
    November 8, 2016

    Pheonmenal breakdown of the topic, you should write for me too!

  • 246umwvotk@yahoo.com'
    car. isurance in Toledo, Ohio
    May 11, 2017

    Tableau Messieurs1/8 : Federer/Robredo – Querrey/Davydenko – Djokovic/Seppi – Haas/Roddick – Tsonga/F Gonzalez – Ferrer/Gasquet – Del Potro/Petzschner –Wawrinka/karlovic.1/4 : Federer/Davydenko – Djokovic/Roddick F Gonzalez/Ferrer – Del Potro/Wawrinka.1/2 : Federer/Djokovic – F Gonzalez/Del Potro.Finale : Federer/Del Potro.winner : Del Potro(il etait pas loin de la soluce à RG, alors la 3eme sera la bonne).Tableau Dames 1/2 : Jankovic/Dementieva – A.Radwanska/S.Williams.Finale : Dementieva/S.Williams.winneuse : S.Williams

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