Shifts Happen – Series 4 – Session 13 – Ascertaining Relationships With Others

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and such a great time for this series!

Because right now, you may be ascertaining “relationships”, are they serving you? Are you still without that special someone?

I’m very excited about the beginning of Series 4 of Shifts Happen – “Connection to Others”, where we will be doing 4 powerful sessions, one each week, to help you ascertain relationships safely and be vulnerable enough to generate real connections without risking abuse. As well as being empowered into authenticity, thus generating evolved relationships for you.

It’s going to be quite the 5D relationship journey – one that I know will clear up so much confusion regarding your relationships, past, present and future.

Today, we are working with Shifts Happen Session 13 – Session 1 of Series 4. Those of you who are new to Shifts Happen may have become a Shifts Happen Member because this series resonates with you – yet there are 3 other empowering Quantum Series, each containing 4 sessions, that you now have full access to as well.

All of these sessions are downloadable, as well as the powerful Quanta Freedom Healings that go with them – which is where the real shifts take place – inside of you. You are in for a treat being here live today, for super-powerful healing shifts, which you will feel after this information part! Please also know that you are not locked into Shifts Happen, you may or may not choose to take part in the future series.

Okay, so now, without any further ado – let’s get started on today’s Shifts Happen Session, “Ascertaining Relationships”.

This is needed greatly in these times because so many relationships are coming up for review right now.

Are certain relationships healthy in our lives? Can they go the distance? When should we keep investing in them, or know when to quit and move on?

Many people in this community have suffered strained relationships over the last few years. I know this has been very painful for many of you – discovering there are certain people you just can’t yoke with anymore. Congratulations if you have been honest with yourself and others and spoken up!

Even more painfully, I know that many of you have experienced people who have exposed their true colours in ways that mean you simply cannot have them anymore in your life.

Understandably. you may feel scared and shocked about connecting to people right now. Perhaps, over these last few years of the “Grand Bifurcation” that has been separating people, you have become a virtual hermit. But this is not how you want to live either. You are human after all, you want to connect and share love with others.

But how can this be done safely? It may even seem hopeless for you.

But it’s not because, in the 5D world of creation, you get to decide the quality of your life that you will align with. This includes your relationships.

Are You Accepting Less Than IS Healthy?

What you accept is what you will get. That is Quantum Law. Acceptance doesn’t mean arguing back and staying there when you are in a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships are defined as ones that break down and don’t level-up. The problems and issues increase in frequency and intensity.

You may think that you are saying “No” to someone else’s values and behaviour that doesn’t align with yours, where in fact – with Quantum Law so within, so without, your intense emotional focus and energy means you are saying a whopping great “Yes” to it.

Participation, especially when negatively emotionally charged, is “choosing” people and situations that you don’t want. Your Inner Being is screaming “Wrong Town” to you. It’s your inner GPS (God Protection System) telling you that you are way off track. The more you try to control another who will not change, the more out of control you will feel.

This is actual self-abuse.

Are you trauma-bonded to certain people in your life, trying to uplevel them so that you can finally feel safe, loved and comfortable? Is this because you don’t think there are any better options than this person, people or situation?

Quantumly, that is not true when you heal the reasons on the inside as to why you are choosing this person rather than choosing yourself.

Perhaps you are feeling co-dependently attached – such as you can’t make it without this person.

With an entire Field of Quantum possibilities available, that is not true either. You don’t yet know your ability to create whatever it is that you desire.

Maybe you feel intense guilt and obligation like this person can’t make it without you – no matter how badly they are treating you.

You would be surprised there are always other options for them, or to start behaving decently – durably, if this was the only way they could have you stay in their life.

Or perhaps you don’t believe you deserve better?

Any of these programs are in contradiction to your Source Self. Not only does it feel wrong, but the blow-ups continue happening because the relationship is out of integrity with the truth of your soul.

How Do You Ascertain a Relationship Healthily?

I know you are taking responsibility for your own growth and emotional health. Of course, you are not perfect – none of us are, but you are growing and healing, and you want healthy relationships.

You are certainly not someone who says, “This is the way I am, and if you don’t like it, bad luck.” Of course, no one like that deserves to be in a real relationship!

There are two reasons why a relationship will not be healthy for you: 1) because this person doesn’t share your values, and 2) because they have certain behaviours that offend you.

Let’s break this down … especially as a Starseed. You are not everyone’s cup of tea. You push back against the status quo and the norm – you are not a “normie”. Even if you aren’t outspoken about your views, you may feel like you are a square peg in a round hole amongst people who go through life without questioning things or wanting to evolve and expand their consciousness.

It’s fair to say that you need evolving, interesting, energetically-aware people in your life, otherwise you will feel starved for context and content. However, some people are lovely and kind, whom with you can have a laugh and enjoy some time out from the pressures of wanting to up-shift and heal yourself and humanity.

So, what is the balance?

Who Is NOT Good For You?

Let’s start with the first critical ascertaining of people – someone who is definitely NOT good for you.

People who DON’T share your foundational critical values.

These are such things as kindness, honesty, accountability, and a desire for conflict resolution. If someone is mean, dishonest, refuses to take responsibility, and, at the time of confrontation, turns the tables, blames you and amplifies issues instead of resolving them, then you are dreadfully in Wrong Town.

You are being gaslit and abused. It doesn’t matter whether this person believes in the world views that you do or even professes to be “spiritual” and “working on themselves”. It’s clearly not working!

This is narcissistic behaviour – unconscious. This not only stops them from having any possibility of evolving, but it also seriously compromises your 5D soul-evolution goals.

When meeting new people and deciding whether or not you will have a relationship with them – at a lesser or a more intimate, personal, A-grade relationship level – it takes time to see who people are.

Charming con artists are Trojan Horses. They will put on an act and tell you anything you want to hear to get through the gates very quickly. Before you know this person’s character, don’t gamble your body, soul or finances with them. I know we all used to, but it’s playing Russian roulette with your life. After being abused within an inch of our life force by narcissists, it’s just not an option.

By spending time with someone platonically, you will start to see who they are, what they stand for, and what values they have. How do they talk about and treat others? You can be sure this is how they will end up treating you.

When getting to know someone, if you get a gut feeling something isn’t right, don’t be the “Yes” person when you want to say “No”. Be real, speak up and question if something feels off. Your soul – your GPS – (Your God/Source Protection System) always grants you protection if you don’t shy away from speaking up. By confronting things honestly and calmly, you are valuing yourself and you will see the value of someone’s character.

You will get your answer.

Relationships That Are Not A-Grade But Can Be Healthy

Now let’s look at “normies”, people who can be really lovely but are not orientated towards exploring the unseen Quantum world or looking at life and the world at a more critical thinking and deeper level.

You may not want a person like this as your best friend – because you really can’t share your latest deep upshift epiphany or an exciting disclosure that this person doesn’t know about because it’s not aired on the regular news channels.

Clearly, as the dedicated upshifting Starseed that you are, you will not want to be in an intimate love relationship with these people because – truly – what are the scintillating things to talk about? You know what sets your soul alight, and it’s not the latest sports result or discussing a popular Netflix series.

With family, certain friends and even lovers, it can be extremely painful when trying to share the deepest parts of you that they don’t understand, and it’s even worse if they declare there is something wrong with you.

This has been the 3D programming – to smear, ridicule and cancel anyone who is Quantumly expanding, who sees beyond the veil and deceptions and sets themselves free from the matrix into co-creation with Source. These people are a threat – too free and powerful. Many normies have been weaponised against you. But is it their fault? Programming is powerful.

Don’t Expect C-Grade Relationships to Be A Grade

Does someone allow you to be you? Great, but that may change if you try to make them “get you”.

Are you connected to people, not enjoying the connection and trying to lecture and prescribe, trying to change them? I’m not talking about abuse, I mean they just don’t believe what you do.

We have no right to change others. No one is happy when you are trying to force them to be different just because you think they should be.

Let’s look at my horse training analogy with ascertaining relationships.

When I used to train, show and sell horses, I would have horses that were sold as pony club or pleasure horses. They were not stunningly beautiful or sportingly agile enough to make the higher grade. The investment into them of my time, effort and focus was nowhere near their more valuable stablemates.

I valued myself, my business and my horsemanship accomplishments enough to know I could play this more valuable game, otherwise, I would just deal in average horses. Yet, average horses had their place in my life as well. They brought some normality, ease, less pressure and a mental break.

Just because we are actively working on and ascending ourselves – there is no need to say, “I just don’t have relationships with normal people.” They do bring us some relief, laughter, and a connection to the physical world from their perspective that is not as “serious” and “driven”.

A pleasure hack was awesome for me to enjoy on a loose rein, on an early morning ride, but if it had dropped its head, tried to buck me off, or been terrible to handle in the stable, then it would have sacked it.

It has to be the same with the people in your life, if they have good hearts and feel like a soft place to land then this is of great value in your life – truly. But stop trying to change them into A-grade relationships for you.

If I picked up the reins and put pressure on such a horse to start doing half passes or flying changes – the trouble would start. Not only would it be massively out of its comfort zone, but it would be disrespected. Pushed into ways of being, it is just not equipped to do.

The people in your life who just don’t want to think this way, being pushed out of their comfort zones, may go from sweet fluffy gizmos to nasty gremlins because you added water.

Can we blame them?

It could be the same with certain family members, as well as friends. You have to let them be themselves and then take the pressure off to enjoy talking and laughing about simpler aspects of life. This can be a beautiful balm to the soul. It’s a Universal language of lifeforce and health within itself.

As a Starseed, on the intense personal mission of up-shifting yourself and healing the world, you can’t stay there forever of course. And your vital relationships need to be more like you – but let’s get very clear about who is who!

In Conclusion

Absolutely, as an ascending being, your relationships have to exist as kindness, care and honesty, and with people who wish to be accountable and work towards solutions in relationships. Whether they are 3D or 5D relationships, this is the base foundational line.

Then you have love and care. That is humanity!

Then it’s up to you to seek out your people for higher vibrational relationships. They exist – more than ever now on Planet Earth. 5D people are activating everywhere! And there are more and more “normal” people who will need your care and love as ascension speeds up.

I hope that today’s talk has helped to grant you clarity regarding ascertaining relationships.

Now, let’s do some Quanta Freedom Healing shifts to remove the blocks that have made it difficult for you to have your heart and consciousness ready for healthy, ascertaining and accepting loving relationships.

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I know how much Series 4 is going to heal and catapult your journey into real, loving and TRUE relationships – even if you have NEVER previously mastered this.

Let’s create them together as a Global Soul Tribe…

Sign up for Series 4 “Connection To Others” https://www.youcanthriveprogram.com/join

I look forward to your comments and questions below.

Love Mel