Melanie Tonia Evans

Stuck In The Cycle Of Toxic Relationships? Do This!

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 30
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Toxic relationships are mind-bending. They go around and around in the same disastrous circles – without resolution.

Chances are you have experienced this – or are still suffering the anguish of trying to change, survive and fix these patterns that just don’t seem to stop.

How can you get clarity and direction and UP and OUT of toxic relationships for real?

When CAN a toxic relationship transform into a healthy one – and HOW can we make that happen?

Find out WHAT is necessary to end the patterns of toxic relationships in our lives, to a level where we know we will NEVER suffer another one.

Watch today’s Thriver TV episode to discover out all these answers and MORE!

 

 

Video Transcript

Are you stuck in the cycle of a toxic relationship?

Let me explain what one of those is. It is a relationship that doesn’t reach resolution. It goes around in the same painful, confusing and destructive circles.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I’m going to explain why the usual means of trying to deal with a toxic relationship doesn’t work, and why many people after finally leaving a toxic relationship find themselves in another one again.

We are also going to discuss what it takes for a toxic relationship to transform into a healthy one, and when it can’t.

And today, we are going to go straight to the truths about how to get clear and leave the patterns of painful relationships behind, forever, regardless of the toxic relationship that you are dealing with.

Okay, so before we get started, I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

If you are still in a toxic relationship, maybe you are hoping or trying for things to be different…or putting up with the toxicity hoping that something will change so that you can get out … and it’s likely you are regularly questioning your sanity and if you are the problem.

Would you like it if this got cleared up today?

I think you would, so let’s get started on the exact steps you need to apply to get relief and clarity and be able to start generating healthy relationships in your Life.

Please note this video is in a general sense about love relationships, but the principles absolutely relate to any narcissist in your life, as you will see. So regardless of who the narcissist is please watch until the end.

 

Releasing Blame

Toxic relationships are steeped in blame, with either one or both parties holding the other responsible for whatever they believe the relationship and they as an individual need.

This is a false premise that never works because in toxic relationships this essential ADULT, taking personal responsibility, is sadly missing: ‘I am the generative source of my own love, approval, survival and security, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.’

And this boils down to the way we all need to be willing to live if we want to be a free and actualised human being: ‘If you are incapable, unavailable or unwilling to meet me at healthy levels of my values and truths then I WILL do this without you for myself.’

The deeper meaning of this is: ‘I’d love you to come on this journey with me expressing what is important to me, but if you don’t wish to, then I free you to seek what works for you whilst I go forth creating with what and who is my truth.’

I totally understand that you may be suffering or have suffered someone who refuses to be a team member capable of being caring and considerate – or who can’t or didn’t speak to you without demeaning or abusing you. Or someone who did or does have horrible addictions that made them non-functional, unhealthy or unsafe to have a relationship with. You may be with or experienced someone who lies, steals and cheats and has done malicious conscienceless things to you.

Naturally, it is very easy to blame these people for the state of our outer life and how we feel on the inside.

If we are NOT clear about what our values and truths are regarding how we wish our life to go, and are holding someone else responsible for the levels of love, approval, survival and security we feel on the inside, regardless of how our outer life looks, we are going to hold other people responsible for granting us what we think we need to feel ‘whole’.

It’s Wrong Town, it doesn’t work, and it is a sure-fire recipe to get ourselves enmeshed in toxic relationships that grant us exactly what brings even more brokenness to our inner and outer lives.

 

Getting Clear On Your Values

Confusion will reign when you aren’t living in alignment with your values and are enmeshed in toxic relationships with people who are NOT a match for your values.

This confusion will come regardless of what you ‘want’ from this person – ranging all the way from small things to big things – reflecting where you are NOT yet whole within yourself.

Let me explain with these following examples.

Michelle was married to Geoffrey. They had very little in common. He wanted to stay home, she wanted to explore and experience life. When they went out to dinner, there were no discussions that stimulated her. He could only talk about limited things and forever went over and over the same old stories. She dreaded any time with him by themselves because she always felt like she wanted to scream.

The more Michelle pushed Geoffrey the more he resisted. He didn’t want to join her on expeditions and do things. He liked to relax at home. He didn’t want an expanded life – he liked to keep things simple. The arguing reached the point of becoming toxic, with both parties degenerating into blaming and shaming the other.

Each one of the couple were trying to get the other person to change to their values in order to make the relationship happy.

Now, let’s check out Ian who was in a relationship with Tina and was constantly trying to get her to stop drinking and not coming home. She admitted to having affairs, but he kept taking her back.

The fights were ripping them apart. Tina accused him of being jealous and stifling, pushing her to run away, and he accused her of having commitment issues because of the abuse she had suffered from her father.

Around and around and around they went, suffering from time to time the utter destruction of Tina’s blowouts.

Ian was seriously self-abandoning himself by allowing and accepting serious value compromises in his life. He was trying to change Tina into being monogamous, addiction free and emotionally available so that he could be happy and safe.

Tina didn’t need to change a thing since she could be all of these things in the relationship because Ian stayed with her.

It’s so important to understand, whether you are in a relationship with a ‘Geoffrey’ – someone who is not abusive, yet is not aligned with your values – or a ‘Tina’ who is a train wreck, that someone’s character is their character, you can’t change people – only they can change IF they want to.

Let’s now get REALLY real…

 

When It’s Toxic Through and Through

We may be in relationships that are never going to become healthy, which means either that person is trying to force us into being someone that our values and character cannot become or vice versa. Narcissists do this with us a lot. They are never happy and they demand more and more unreasonable commodities from us – excessive attention, unwholesome sex, money, resources, undying unhealthy devotion, loyalty, secrecy…whatever it is.

These unhealthy demands cause our Inner Beings to scream out ‘No’ and we baulk, try to resist or fight back. If we cave in, we just get emptied out more and more, heading all the way to our demise, and then become very sick.

Of course, these are toxic relationships that have no hope of repair.

When we are with someone who doesn’t want to change, and it means we can’t be happy with WHO they are and WHAT they do as they ARE, then this is a toxic relationship that has no hope of reform.

I’ve done it like most of us have – chosen partners, friends and business associates and continued on with them, even when it’s clear they don’t have values of integrity or empathy for others, are incapable of remorse and taking personal responsibility, and display awful narcissistic self-absorbed, conscienceless and destructive behaviours to the detriment of others.

Truly – WHAT was I thinking?! Any excuse I made to hang on and try to make this unmakeable deal work just ended up making matters worse and worse. Whatever I thought I could salvage or gain got stripped away, and then some.

And the results of my choices betraying my own values; were always painful. If you sleep with mangy dogs, you get fleas! (Please animal lovers out there – this is an expression – no disrespect to dogs!)

As I’ve said before, you can’t make a crocodile roll over while you scratch its tummy and expect it to play fetch with you. People without integrity and a good character can’t just ‘become’ good people. They are who they are.

Just like, if you want a healthy partner with great values about nutrition, stop trying to force someone to give up the couch, TV and ice-cream. Can you accept who they are? If not move on.

In the extreme cases, such as it is with narcissists, in no shape or form should we continue to accept people whose actions show a distinct lack of healthy values and character. There are no happy endings to that choice.

 

When You Are Hooked In

I hope by now you are understanding how futile it is to try to change someone into being who you want them to be so that you can feel ‘whole’.

There are several deep Quantum (absolute) outcomes regarding this tactic.

• When you try to change others, they won’t grant you the change you seek. But they will grant you more of your own lack of wholeness, which is fuelling your toxic dance with them.

• They will blame you for why they behave the way they do.

• They will bring up any ‘dirt’ they have on you about what you are or aren’t doing, which will take the argument down any number of rabbit holes which lead to more non-resolution.

• You are enabling their bad behaviour because they still have you connected, and you are feeding this behaviour with your attention on it. Their life carries on – there is no reason for them to have to change.

This is the very truth about toxic relationships!

 

Toxic Relationships That Can Change

I really want you to be very clear about this, so you don’t live in false hope. If this person has a flawed character, such as in the case of a narcissistic – capable of pathological lying, malicious acts, and the inability to be remorseful or accountable or make amends genuinely, you are wasting your time.

You aren’t going to have any choice other than let go, heal and be very clear about the calibre and character of person you align yourself with in the future.

Let’s go back to the story of Michelle and Geoffrey. Michelle did the inner work on herself to define and align with her true values, and she got really clear about the life that she needed to live to gratify the truth of her soul – this required a partner to join her in her adventures, expansion and personal growth.

Lovingly and truthfully, she shared with Geoffrey her truth and asked him if this was something he would like to work towards and live as well.

His honest answer to her was that it was not what he wanted for his life. It was sad but they agreed to split up and do so amicably.

Another example is Peter who wanted his partner Joy to be more open and honest with him, rather than shutting him out. She was unreliable and would break plans at the last minute, including holidays and time spent together. He felt like he was always second best in her life.

After fighting about this for some time, and then detaching from her and doing work on himself with NARP to heal his toxic relationship pattern within that allowed him to connect to unavailable women without honouring himself, Peter got clear and solid and asked Joy for what he needed to continue a relationship with her – consistency, communication, sticking to plans and making him a priority in her life.

He was totally at peace with whichever way it would go, because he knew whatever the outcome – he would be free of the toxic pattern and living his truth.

Joy realised he would end the relationship if she didn’t step up, so she agreed to. However, her actions did not match her words and shortly after Peter ended the relationship with her. Within months he was dating a new woman who, before committing to her, he had ascertained by her actions that she was reliable and available.

And then there is Patricia and Grant. Grant gambled a little too heavily and then when money was needed for added expenses Patricia found she was carrying the load. For years they had argued about this, with Grant insisting he was entitled to downtime with his mates and Patricia being resentful and overwhelmed because she seemed to be the only responsible adult in the relationship.

Patricia committed to NARP healings to clear the pattern of relationships with addicts in her life and got very clear that she no longer wanted to include building security and creating goals with a gambler. She told Grant her truth – that if he wished to continue gambling that was fine, he could, but she wasn’t going to have it in her life and she would leave him.
Grant didn’t believe her.

Patricia moved out straight away and started making plans to divorce.

He then knew she meant it.

Grant told her he was quitting, but she didn’t move back in until she saw the clear evidence. He went to Gamblers Anonymous, took up playing squash on that night he normally gambled, and kept showing her how serious he was. They reunited and Grant never gambled again, and started to love his new physique, levels of fitness and having more available money to enjoy holidays and special occasions with Patricia.

 

The Formula to End ALL Toxic Relationship Patterns

This is regardless of who this person is – which includes friends, family, ANY one at all.

• Stop holding this person responsible for your happiness, wholeness of security – as an adult that is YOUR job.

• Let go of your focus on them and do the inner work to get very clear on your values and what you require in your Life to live your True Life.

• Heal within yourself the traumas you have that cause you to attach, stay in and make excuses for staying in toxic relationships (NARP assists you to achieve this).

• If this person has an indecent character, stop wanting or expecting any requirement from them, go No Contact or Modified Contact, do what you need to legally, and heal and move on (NARP also assists with this incredibly).

• If this person has a decent character, STOP arguing with them and tell them lovingly and truthfully what you require from them to continue a relationship with them.

• If they don’t wish to be this person, bless them and lovingly release them so that you both can be free to live a life that is aligned with your separate truths.

• If they do agree to step up into the life values you have, see if their actions match the words – words alone are cheap.

• If they are trying to become your values, be honest. Is this something that they are enjoying and benefiting from? Are they doing this only because of their neediness and fear of losing you, but really resent having to be different?

And finally, ALWAYS, ALWAYS work on your Inner Being enough to be able to be your alignment to your True Self and Life no matter what anyone else is or isn’t doing.

Then you will be whole within, meaning you can say ‘No’ to who and what is not your truth and hang out to connect with and co-generate ‘more of WHO you are’ with the real deal people and things…and, by calmly and clearly using the formula above, leave if things become toxic.

Can you see that this Is not just the most loving gift you can grant to yourself; it also LOVES and honours everyone else as well?

We have no right to change people to be who we want them to be. That’s not love, its control, regardless of who they are or what they are or aren’t doing.

You will find, when you give this up, how people who do have healthy inner commodities come into your life easily because that is WHO you are now Being authentically inside you.

Are you ready for this? Is this what you really want – a Life and relationships that work?

If so, write below ‘I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW’… and really mean it.

Do you have any idea how once you address this pattern inside you, that everything in your life can start falling into place?

Hold my hand and I’ll show you how! This process begins by clicking this link which takes you straight to my free inner transformational course.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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57 Thoughts on Stuck In The Cycle Of Toxic Relationships? Do This!
  • bicyclehead@hotmail.com'
    michael
    April 16, 2019

    I like your cat.

  • kais1@sbcglobal.net'
    Sandy Kaiser
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me now. Nothing to argue about anymore. I release my fear and trust in the plan and power of divine love. “My function and happiness are the same, because God has given me both.” I was born to do great things with my gifts and talents, and am willing to surrender and let go of anyone or anything that holds me back, which includes me and my self-defeating patterns and beliefs. I am no longer afraid to be alone. I am sick of being sick and miserable, and have no choice but to live in truth from this minute forward and for the rest of my life. Thank-you Melanie. May God bless and reward you!

    • kginct247@yahoo.com'
      Karen
      April 16, 2019

      Amazing declaration ! Wise & wonderful words. Love-it. Congratulations on being able to state all of this. While not only a relief to state for yourself, sharing it is also uplifting and helps others, who read it in agreement and feel it resonate, as I have. Thank you, Sandy !
      Karen

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 16, 2019

      Hi Sandy,

      What a beautiful declaration.

      And so it is Dear Lady.

      Love and blessings to you and thank you for your lovely blessings.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • kim@terrawestern.com'
    Dreama1
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those that aren’t a match for me NOW!!

  • kginct247@yahoo.com'
    Karen
    April 16, 2019

    Melanie,
    So many of your videos are superbly helpful!! The timing of this video by the day released and this particular topic felt like it was exactly what I needed to hear at the precise time I needed to hear it! And as such, a signal of how important it is for me to further think about everything you’ve said here. I will definitely listen again as many times as is helpful to absorb and apply to my situation. This video talk is beyond valuable and true, true, true.
    ‘I free myself and those who are not a match for me Now.’
    Your style & presentation, content of videos and more, and depth of topic coverage has a solid richness combined with genuineness and caring.
    Thank you for sharing all your wisdom and guiding so many into clarity and healing. You make the world a better place. I’m so grateful for you & I appreciate you!
    Love to you & Tiggy !

    Karen, CT, USA

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 16, 2019

      Hi Karen,

      I’m so pleased this deeply resonated with you.

      Thank you for your lovely words and much love to you from myself and Tiggy.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • tonicrisp.nutritionist@gmail.com'
    Toni Crisp
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW!!!

    • jethovson108@gmail.com'
      Jennifer
      April 18, 2019

      I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW!

      I have been in a toxic relationship with my spouse for 28 years. This included my relationship with his family members. I am so thankful for this program and the tools provided! I have a long way to go, but I now have the resources to help.
      Thank you so much!

  • flowers149@hotmail.com'
    Erika
    April 16, 2019

    Jag befriar mig själv nu och de som inte är en match för mig nu .

    Tack för möjligheten att ta kommandot över mitt liv och bli fri och hel .

    • sarjrg@gmail.com'
      Sharon
      April 16, 2019

      I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW!

  • acoppola808@gmail.com'
    Alison
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those that are not a match for me NOW! That feels good. Hugs to Tiggy. 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 16, 2019

      Hi Alison,

      I’m so pleased that feels good!

      Hugs back from both Tiggy and myself.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • mak4trips@yahoo.com'
    Marina
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me now. I feel nothing but gratitude to those who made it really painful and difficult for me to stay stuck in old unhealthy patterns :).

    • Littlebluebananatree@gmail.com'
      Claire McHale
      April 16, 2019

      I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW!! ♥

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 16, 2019

      Awww Marina,

      That’s so wonderful.

      True liberation comes from exactly what you have stated!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • pob2@outlook.com'
    Pauline
    April 16, 2019

    Hi Melanie, your post came through the morning after I ended a forty-three year abusive relationship with my best friend, I have tried to pull away many times but I didn’t have the tools within me to stay away, now through doing my inner work, thanks to your support I am finally free, my friend took over where my mum left off, I just thought that toxic relationships were all I was worth, how sad. X

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 16, 2019

      Hi Pauline,

      That takes great courage and you should be so proud of you.

      You deserve infinitely more. Beautiful that you are taking that stand for you now!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • tnich4147@gmail.com'
    Horizon
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those that are not a match for me now!!!

  • joannamarionthornhill@gmail.com'
    joanna thornhill
    April 16, 2019

    i free myself and those who are not a match for me now !
    Melanie, i love your work – the connection , relief and comfort it provides me – i am three months out of a toxic relationship ( narc number 2) i used the NARP program with narc 1 and have again been drawn back to you and your work to help me heal and work through my own toxic patterns with toxic people….. you are awesome 🌹

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 17, 2019

      Hi Joanna,

      I am so happy for you that you are working on you with NARP and it’s helping so much.

      I love your attitude and you are doing an incredible job!

      Continued blessings and breakthroughs to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • lorrainewilcock529@gmail.com'
    Lorraine Wilcock
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW. Thank you Mel.

  • karen_lyons@rok.catholic.edu.au'
    Kally
    April 16, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW! 😀

    • Irene.zalewski@icloud.com'
      Irene
      April 17, 2019

      Dear Melanie

      I free myself and those who are not a match for me now.

      Thank you dear Melanie for your incredible NARP 3 . It is amazing and powerful and is helping me on my journey of thriving and being the person I was meant to be.

      So much love and appreciation and gratitude for this incredible healing programme that you have brought to our world now.

      Reena xxx

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        April 18, 2019

        Hi Reena,

        You are so welcoming lovely lady.

        Keep shining beautiful!

        Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • richardmooreonline@gmail.com'
    Richard Moore
    April 17, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me now!

  • tanythb@gmail.com'
    TANYTH A BERKELEY
    April 17, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me.

  • dalrymple.11@gmail.com'
    Amy
    April 17, 2019

    I free myself an those who are not a match for me now. I am so grateful for the work you do, Melanie. I don’t know if I would have made it through had I not stumbled upon one of your videos a year ago. And like Karen said, this particular video arrived at just the right time for me, too. I still have much work to do, but I am also filled with gratitude for this process of awakening and the chance to break free of lifelong patterns that set me up for continued abuse and pain. Thank you for speaking the truth that so many of us need to hear.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 17, 2019

      Hi Amazing,

      I’m so pleased this was timely for you and thank you for your beautiful words.

      Your gratitude for the process is gorgeous.

      Love and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jeffreyavison@usa.net'
    judy Avison
    April 17, 2019

    I free myself of of who are not a match for me now!

  • Sgnew2016@gmail.com'
    Sharon
    April 17, 2019

    Dear Melanie, what a beautiful soul you are to so many of us. Your work, conjoined with my spiritual life with God, the beautiful love of friends, and hard soul work have brought me to a very strong place of almost wholeness. With each video over probably the last two years I have grown and healed and learned so much. Many times I walk away with valuable nuggets and I thank you for that. You have paid dearly for the knowledge you have and you so graciously share it with those of us out here. Today, for some reason this video has brought probably the biggest shift ever, and it came at such an appointed time in my life. Of course it did, because God and love and the kindness of the universe is like that and you are part of all of that. I see things deep, way deeper than I ever have and I honestly believe for the first time I really have gotten to the very root of the things that have had me stuck beyond all of the other healing and work that I have found and done. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish all the love and peace and blessings back to you that you freely and loving give to so many of us 🥰.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 17, 2019

      Hi Sharon,

      Thank you beautiful lady! I’m so happy that this video brought you a deep shift.

      Thank you for your blessings and endless continued ones to you as you enjoy your True Self expansion.

      Much love to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • kafel14@verizon.net'
    Kimberly Ann Feliciano
    April 17, 2019

    Melanie- I have been listening to you very regularly for about a month. I have learned so much about toxic relationships.
    Thank you.

  • rmoreland@newriver.edu'
    Ron M
    April 17, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for now!

  • hankwitzs@earthlink.net'
    Scott Hankwitz
    April 17, 2019

    You are so wise and this is the truth we all battle with internally when we know we aren’t in the right relationship. We try to hang on, expecting change and it literally destroys us and our lives. By looking within and realizing our own inner wounds and what attracts us to the wrong person (although they are a blessing by showing us our true selves), your work helps so many to come to terms with our own identity and what we need to thrive. No need to blame the other person anymore for who they are. They are free to be whatever makes them happy as we are free to choose what completes us.

    Thank you again Melanie, you are a wonderful human being. 🙂

    “I FREE MYSELF & THOSE THAT ARE NOT A MATCH FOR ME NOW!!*

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 17, 2019

      Thank you Scott

      Everything you have written is 100 percent correct.

      Many blessings and happiness to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • lauradavimes@gmail.com'
    Laura
    April 17, 2019

    So clear in your message! I love all you said. I think it was Time magazine that recently said women will not risk asking for what they want out of a relationship (especially in a world where the man can just swipe left if you demand anything from him). People are afraid to ask for what they want in a relationship. It’s like giving an ultimatum so you have to be ready to end it if the answer is not what you wanted. I do think that the counselors and coaches who simply say “move on and find someone who aligns with your moral values” are speaking the truth of their philosophy but don’t realize how difficult it is to find ANYONE that aligns with your morals anymore in America. Trump has taught all Americans to lie, cheat, steal, rape and if the victim doesn’t like it….make them take you to court. Also the divide between men and women was enormous even before that (men are from mars?). We don’t see each others as humans first and opposite sex second. There are so many derogatory terms for “relationships”… I need a “man cave” to get away from the “ball and chain”??? Even “nice” men say these kind of things. And if you do find someone who aligns with your values….you will also find they have some anxiety disorder that disallows them from doing so many things. Everyone has an anxiety disorder now … thanks to cell phones. So if you are someone who doesn’t watch tv, doesn’t spend time on cell phone much….I would literally have to quit my job to go “align” with a yogi somewhere at a spa. Or on a farm where they are hiding from society. Otherwise, I am stuck trying to adapt to the people who are actually available to a person who works 50 hours a week and doesn’t have a ton of expendable income. I would like more Thriver TV that speaks to people who are not able to travel to another country (let alone another city) to find deep friendships without losing their job. So in a perfect world….I could give the ultimatums to the person that is toxic and if they won’t change…move on to a person that is less dysfunctional. Which means being alone for years in between filtering out the toxic behaviors. The world IS that FULL of people with bad values and toxic behaviors. Your followers who do not have to work in one city 50 hours a week may be able to find good relationships because of no boundaries….but not all of us can get that type of job or finances together so that we are not bound by the morals of the culture where we live. The online dating sites are soul killing and breeding avoidants by the minute….but you and other quantum healers still suggest using them as a way to meet people? These sites are one of the main reasons that people are losing their values and beoming toxic. I have even considered changing my morals regarding monogamy because I believe it is an ancient philosophy that no longer exists in our new cyber world and finding a partner that practices it on a website would be an impossiblity. The reason most are on these websites is that it a “lifestyle” for them and allows them to be extremely judgmental and avoidant. However if you work for a living, it is difficult to meet people unless the hours for clubs, churches mesh with your work schedule. I really wish more healers would speak out against social media…..facebook and dating websites are breeding avoidants/narcissists and judgmental people who do not have to “work” to have a relationship…they can just swipe left and start another one and another one and discard the partners who won’t abide their toxic rules.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 17, 2019

      Hi Laura,

      You are very welcome.

      Yes this is a focus now in society, however I firmly believe that how our life shapes is around our beliefs and also of course standing true to our values.

      There are still many beautiful real and true people to connect up with in the world.

      As a love partner we only need one! There is no need to become a part of a statistic, that’s not how Quantum Law – so within, so without works.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • lcblood7@gmail.com'
    Leslie C. Blood
    April 17, 2019

    I free myself from people who are not a match for me now. Thank you for teaching me about my issues and how to resolve them in a good way. Bliss and Bless your life for being the generous kind knowledgeable woman.

  • boudjebosma@hotmail.com'
    Boudewien Bosma
    April 17, 2019

    ‘I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW’ !
    Thanks Much !
    ….
    and before reading this post , last monday, all of a sudden I found myself starting with the Empowered Self course …Just like that .reallly ! Just like that !! truth .
    Amazing I can tell you that
    As if it had to happen just now . not earlyer , not later , just now. 🙂 after al The NARP Modules working ( and fighting and struggling and and and ) through . And of what I have noticed right away listening to the first module, ….I was so ready theresult was stunning.
    So Thank you much for that as well.
    Bye
    I’m off
    to work on myself …empowered 😉
    Bye
    Boudewien

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 18, 2019

      Hi Boudewien,

      That is awesome you are taking your journey further with ES!

      Cheers and blessings to you! Lovely to hear from you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • dancingshadow18@hotmail.com'
    Kathy
    April 18, 2019

    ~I free myself and those who are not a match for me *now*!!!~

    ps: Mel your hair looks so pretty in this vid! 🙂

  • jethovson108@gmail.com'
    Jennifer
    April 18, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW!

    I have been in a toxic relationship with my spouse for 28 years. This included my relationship with his family members. I am so thankful for this program and the tools provided! I have a long way to go, but I now have the resources to help.
    Thank you so much!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 18, 2019

      You are so welcome Jennifer.

      Sending you love, healing and breakthrough into your True Self and True Life.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • claudiabuchweitz24@googlemail.com'
    Claudia
    April 18, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me now!

  • juliannejunegirl82@gmail.com'
    Julianne
    April 18, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW!

  • eugeneamador@gmail.com'
    Eugene
    April 18, 2019

    ‘I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW’… what words for life. Thanks so much. I bless you.

  • mallen22@hotmail.com'
    Megan Allen
    April 19, 2019

    I free myself and those who are not a match for me NOW.

  • vikiniowa@yahoo.com'
    Vik
    April 21, 2019

    Thank you for your direct, insightful and instructive help. Have been struggling for decades with a narcissist parent and my relationship with that person set me up for accepting so much that is unacceptable in my relationships with significant others, including abuse. You are very kind and gentle yet wielding an arsenal of truth. If you could only know how much this helps when my head has been spinning from family loss and the endless arguing and seeming lack of cooperation from the significant other. My fear of being alone having lost the narcissist parent has been overwhelming. And I turned to the man in my life to “fill the gap.” But I must fill that gap myself by becoming a self that has not yet fully existed while under the aegis of the toxic parent. And of course the significant other can not fulfill that role and really does not want that role either. Feel like I have been hitting my head against the wall for a lifetime – so seeing a way through the painful struggle has huge meaning in my life. Thank you.

  • KOHLERBM@COMCAST.NET'
    BEVERLY M KOHLER
    April 29, 2019

    Melanie,
    I free myself and those who are not a match for me now . When I get all crazy and mixed up, I turn to your videos and they are a tremendous life savor. Thank you so much. I’m 70 years old and keep marrying narcs. I finally figured out why. My dad was alcoholic, narcisst. I keep marrying my dad. Wow. Thank you. Love your videos.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 29, 2019

      Hi Beverly,

      I’m so pleased I can help.

      Sending you love blessings and healing.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Kohlerbm@comcast.net'
    BEVERlLY
    April 29, 2019

    Melanie,
    I free myself and those who are not a match for me now . When I get all crazy and mixed up, I turn to your videos and they are a tremendous life savor. Thank you so much. I’m 70 years old and keep marrying narcs. I finally figured out why. My dad was alcoholic, narcisst. I keep marrying my dad. Wow. Thank you. Love your videos.

  • kim@terrawestern.com'
    Dreama1
    May 12, 2019

    Mel, I free myself and those who are not a match for me now! Thank you!

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