It’s such a shock when we discover that the narcissist is nothing more than a mirage.
How do we come to terms with the fact that we invested ourselves into a wonderful idea that was never real?
Let me show you how to see past what they seem to be. This will help you not become reliant on or emotionally addicted to them. It will also ensure you can avoid being emotionally triggered into neediness, fear and panic in ways that may surprise or shock you.
In today’s Thriver TV episode I will guide you to your very own Great Awakening, which is your deep Life Truth.
Video Transcript
Remember the myth of Narcissus looking into the water and falling in love with his own reflection?
This wasn’t the real him.
It’s such a shock when we discover that the narcissist who we thought was incredible, and even our soulmate is nothing more than a mirage. This person simply wasn’t real.
It’s horrible initially to understand that because they are not a real person, they didn’t love us and they are not capable of love.
How do you come to terms with the fact that you invested your heart, life, years and soul into a mirage? A wonderful idea and dream that was never real.
That’s exactly what we are talking about today in this Thriver TV episode.
Before I get started, I want to quickly shout out that I’m very excited about my upcoming You Can Thrive One-Day global workshop, which will be a first of its kind, an intensive healing container for thousands of people, to move you up and out of narcissistic abuse into your true abuse-free life.
To claim your seat, all you need to do is click this link.
Okay, let’s get started on today’s very important topic.
The Promise of the Mirage
Bad people exist. People who are soulless, and are not concerned with other people’s feelings, needs or values. These are people who are parasitical, they feed off other people’s energy, resources and Life Force to try to grant themselves power and an existence.
The problem is these people masquerade as everyday people in society. They appear as lovely, commendable and caring people who we can trust. They are potential lovers, business associates, authority figures, bosses, friends and neighbours. They can also be family members who are supposed to love you and treat you with care.
What is incredibly tricky about these individuals is they are skilled at working out the people who they wish to ensnare and start mining for their own benefit. In a family setting, they already have your connection and attention. The narcissists outside of families identify what people feel they need in their life and then present themselves as the solution to these issues.
The bottom line is, we want to trust these people. We want to believe that they are the answer to our loneliness, broken heartedness, safety, wellbeing or any other challenge in our life.
Maybe this person seems strong and outgoing, and we have struggled to speak up and lay boundaries or be tough enough to navigate our own life fearlessly, and now we finally feel safe.
Possibly, this person seems so loving and generous and caring, and after not feeling loved and cared for, you feel like you are finally seen and met.
This person may have the supposed energy, wealth, drive and ambition, as well as aligned goals with you, so much so that you finally feel like your dreams can come true.
Within narcissistic abuse, bonding does not discriminate, it happens in every relationship. In intimate or family relationships there are countless ways you will be bonded. If this person is not a love relationship, maybe you have connected resources, such as finances or a business deal. Or this person seems to supply something in your life that unknowingly you are now reliant on or emotionally addicted to.
Narcissists are skilled at creating “dependencies”; it may be so insidious and gradual that you barely understood that it was happening.
A particularly good indication is that this person starts becoming difficult, withdrawing or withholding affection or attention from you so that you are emotionally triggered into neediness, fear and panic in ways that surprise or shock you.
This is where cognitive dissonance comes into play. You are ensnared by this person; they have literally infiltrated your soul. Now, the relationship can only continue for you if you make logical excuses and justifications to stay attached.
This is where you are now projecting onto him or her, despite the atrocious behaviour, the idealised version of “how you believe this person should be”.
How would you stay with this person, unless you are lying to yourself?
The Thud of Truth
Within narcissistic relationships, the state of your soul, emotions, finances and health progressively disintegrates.
Inevitably, there comes a time where you acknowledge you are being abused. The volume of the abuse keeps getting turned up progressively, so intensely, as the cycles of abuse deepen and intensify (as they do with all toxic relationships), that eventually the truth must get your attention.
And this is the truth: this person does not really love you and care for you, despite the throwaway words that they sometimes use, to hoover you back in, or give you some false sense of security.
This is not love. This is not healthy. This is not even a real person who has a conscience or ability to see you as anything more than an object for them to benefit from.
As terrifying, heartbreaking and soul-destroying as this is, this is the passage to your own personal evolution.
Your Great Awakening is to accept the truth, that this person (or people) who you thought were trustworthy, commendable, and had your best interests at heart, absolutely don’t. These people do not add to your life in any way that is healthy, rather they are feeding off you, draining you and ultimately destroying you, all for their own benefit.
If you don’t wake up to this, then there is only one outcome, your personal diminishment and demise.
Here is the rub, denial and ignorance are not bliss, because the longer you stay attached refusing to look at the truth – the more your rights are being eroded.
The deeper the enslavement becomes.
The further down into the loss of your soul and Life Force you go.
Awakening means applying critical thinking. It means to open your eyes and heart to the truth. That when someone is hurting you they are not loving you, and it’s time to stop hurting yourself and love yourself with all your might.
It means to not just blindly accepting to cling to a version of a person in your life, that you would want them to be.
It means to stop handing power over to other people and to take the power back to be the generative force and source of your life for yourself.
That’s the Great Awakening. That’s what it means to live Your Truth.
Your Inner Being knows the truth. When your emotions are screaming at you that something is not right, and you are being diminished, and stripped of your rights, then that is the time to wake up.
When you try to assert your rights and truth regarding the sovereignty of your feelings, values, desires and choices in life (meaning the freedom to be fully yourself), and they are not allowed – then you are being abused.
If you don’t wake up to this, you are asleep. As a goodhearted person, who is not as yet anchored in your own body navigating your life from the truth of your core, you are a prime candidate to be targeted and abused by these people – posing as your “answer”, “safety”, “saviour” or “dream life”.
With abusers, it becomes obvious. Their agenda and decisions happen without your involvement or any consideration for your values and desires. It is “sold” to you as this: this person knows what’s best for you because YOU don’t have the ability to know or decide what is best for you.
Don’t buy it! It’s not the truth!
Until you awaken, you are prey to people who are mirages, who are wolves in sheep’s clothing and are highly dangerous and abusive.
Being Straight With You
I’m addressing you in this way because I truly needed to do that with myself.
Before I discovered Thriver Healing, I was paralysed and stunted in the horror of the discovery that he was not the human being that I “needed” him to be. I had assigned him as the authority and the giver of my life.
I hadn’t yet awakened to become that to myself.
Doing so, saved my life. I turned inside, self-partnered and took on the mission of loving and caring for myself. I tapped into and activated my true power as a sovereign being to fulfil and rise into my ascension and truth, rather than try to get the power and permission to be that person from outside myself.
You have the power to do the same.
Totally.
Speaking of which, my global You Can Thrive One-Day Workshop is all about that. It’s about you rising into your truth as a sovereign being disconnected from all of this rubbish of being manipulated and mined and abused by False Selves posing as good people.
I can’t wait to co-generate your enlightenment and breakthrough with you.
Click the link at the top right of this video to check out the details and register for this event.
And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.
Oh my lord, my children are being manipulated. What do I do in this situation.
Hi Luisa,
I’d love you come into the NARP Members Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member Where we can help you not only keep clearing that trauma, but also guide you as to how to do proxy healings to help your loved ones.
There is only one thing to do sweetheart, keep healing.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie
So glad you posted this . It’s a timely reminder when the feeling of being addicted and wanting my ex narcissistic partner .
Thanks for the short course in refocusing on myself through this post from you
K
Hi Kenn,
I’m glad that this was timely for you and that it helps.
Sending you healing and breakthroughs
Mel 🙏💕💚
I left my ex 2.5 years ago after a depleting and abusive 7 year marriage. I sometimes still struggle with Did I make a mistake? was he workable? everyone else thinks he’s so great.. and now he has all this money from the career I helped him build. But the truth is, at his core, he is soul-less and cruel. I’m happy to be on the other side. Now I am working through the grief that my kids are still with him for way more than I’d like..
Hi Chaya,
What you are going through is really normal as a result of narcissistic abuse, before being able to free this trauma from your inner being.
I’d love you to come into one of my free webinar is http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to find out how you can get free and up and out of the lingering thoughts, feeling attachments and pain of this.
It will help you so much!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I would love some perspective for situations like mine. I am well aware of the nature of the person who is narcissistic and abusive and would not be in a close relationship with that person; however, they are in my life through my marriage and my partner’s past connections. I feel like this person robs my identity and steals very unique loving characteristics about me to the extent that our shared children now associate specific memories and these personal qualities with the narcissist and view me as a soulless monster. It’s incredible and scary. One time, the “narc” was very worried and anxious and I was calm, helping others to feel comfortable and confident in the situation. The “narc” studied me carefully, challenged my presence in an insulting manner that delegated me to the “monster” role and then stole my mannerisms and speech and became myself to the children. It was so freaky but also devastating. This happens all the time. I come up with fun activities and creative approaches to life’s problems, and then it somehow all gets twisted such that she learns how to be like me, steals my ways and ideas, and they all behave as if I was the monster who never had the good ideas or comforting, creative ways, at all. I feel like I don’t exist, anymore; like my identities been stolen.
Hi Jesse,
It is incredible how narcissistic people can feel like they suck your soul and identity, and then twist it around for their own benefit. My heart goes out to you with the bizarreness of this in your life.
Jesse the real truth when dealing with a narcissist is this, we can’t change what they are doing and who they are being, but we can heal ourselves up to take our power and soul back, and then the situation with them can change, where they become powerless to continue doing it.
This is not something that can just happens at a logical level level. It’s the inner work regarding what is being triggered by this person within ourselves, that can have a deep and powerful transformation.
I talk about this all the time, because it’s actually the only thing that works.
And this is completely vital, when in the vicinity of someone who you can’t go no contact with, and also the re-occurring violations that can happen with narcissists from all walks of life in the future. Which, I believe we all go through, until we have reached the graduation on the inner level that this person is triggering off the necessity for us to heal and ascend.
I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/free webinar to learn more deeply about this
I hope that this can help and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Great video! I love your new set! I hope you are feeling the good energy in your new space <3 I imagine sage, essential oils, and herbs floating through the air… Gorgeous look today!! About to head about to register for your event before I forget. Big Hug to you, Melanie!
Love,
Laydee
xoxo
i can so relate to Chaya and Jesse in these comments. Feeling like you don’t exist is a very weird feeling. Its hard to explain it to people. you just sound stupid and selfish yourself. Things i would say would be copied by my narcissist. and made out was his idea or thoughts. After almost a year and a half, i like Chaya, sometimes doubt myself. I keep going over in my head how he was to me, and that reminds me that i have done the right thing. but its so hard and hurts a lot. My comfort is reading others comments so i know I wasn’t crazy. Others have been at the hands of a narcissist, very cruel people although they don’t appear that way. Getting there, but still a way to go.
Hi Lynette,
I really want you and other people to know that when you are going over and over and over things in your head still, which is such a common symptom of narcissistic abuse, it is because there is unhealed trauma that is wedged in your inner being that is driving those thoughts.
I promise you with all my heart, that when you find the way to release the trauma from within yourself, and go free from it, then your mind follows. There is no more trauma to try and manage, and then will for no more unreconcilable, confusing and traumatic thoughts.
That is why my healing process is so powerful and effective because it addresses the problem at the core of where it exists – which is the trauma that has taken hold within you.
As per my suggestions to other people here in need, I cannot recommend my free webinar and now, to learn about this, as well as experience a free Quanta Freedom Healing which can change everything for you regarding how to heal from this. I would also love you to come into my one-day event, to experience profound healing and release from this http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/digitalpass
Sending you love, blessings and true healing
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dear Melanie,
Thank-you for this, another beautiful message!!!
I especially love these golden words:
“Awakening means applying critical thinking. It means to open your eyes and heart to the truth. That when someone is hurting you they are not loving you, and it’s time to stop hurting yourself and love yourself with all your might.”
I LOVE this MESSAGE:) I am Looking forward to the online event. Every day that I am working on these truths, and unloading traumas in the NARP Program modules is a good day.
Love to you, for bringing so many of us together to heal xoxoxoxo
Gen
Hi Gen,
I love seeing your blossoming, every time you write in!
It’s going to be beautiful to have you in my one-day event with me!
So much love to you Gen, and please know how welcome you are.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Your message hits home. I’ve been not myself for a couple of months. I went to the doctor did all kinds of check ups and today the doctor said I was fine. Last week something in my spirit as I was praying said he’s poisoning you. I started cooking for myself and I was feeling much better I’ve been detoxing. I asked the doctor if she would take a hair sample for poison and she thought I was crazy . I wasn’t specific but no one believes you. You end up the crazy one while these psychopaths continue to harm. I have to protect myself. I have to be cautious until I figure out how to get out. There’s no one I can go to and tell my suspicion. Is there any organization that can help or guide me . 🙏🏻
Hi Lisa,
please note it is so hard to explain to anybody what you are feeling and experiencing narcissistic abuse. My highest recommendation to you is to just leave, no matter what that looks like.
When, abuse and trauma has got to this level then there is no other way, other than to get away, and start deeply healing from this. Your soul, health and sanity, Lisa, has to come first.
My heart and love goes out to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I Have lived with my narcissistic father most of my life, now with my husband, but we plan to move out in a few months. IAm a gold member of NARP for four months, and have been doing the healing modules.I am now ignoring and not reacting to what the narcissist does, so he can’t steal my energy, but last night he tried to kill me to get a reaction and steal my power. I Didn’t react or do anything, but I Heard him crying afterwards, was he crying for himself. What do I Do now? this typical of a narcissist? THanks
Hi Jennifer,
when you say tried to kill me, do you mean literally?
Jennifer, as per my message to others today, your health, soul and sanity is more important than anything at all. Abuse at this level means it’s time to leave no matter what that looks like, even if it means going to a shelter. If you were threatened, then it’s time to call the authorities and remove yourself.
Truly, I know that there are so many people going through terrible things in lockdown with narcissists at the moment. It is such a call to stand up and say “no, I will not accept that behaviour”.
Any type of physical threat is stepping way over the line. Please act to protect and honour you.
Sending power, strength and safety to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you so much for this message! Its the awakening part thats so hard, The thinking could he change, could he love me again, And i know no He heartless After 40 years. My heart breaks But Im getting stronger and loving myself. Finding the new Me!
Hi Rebecca,
You are very welcome. Yes it is my love. It is the greatest challenge. And this is why I am such a fan of doing the inner work on our inner being, so that the mind can follow the body, rather than trying to get our mind to convince our inner traumatised systems to feel and then think differently.
Which often doesn’t work!
When you Go Quantum, it changes everything.
I invite you to try this by coming into my one-day workshop, or connecting to my free webinar. I have given out the links to others in this conversation.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I would love some insight about my situation. After been in a relationship with my Covert narcissist for two years. I invested my emotions, finances and sacrifice my personal goals. I bought into her idea of a perfect future, travelling and living together in Germany, on the process i exhausted all my finances. We had agreed she will assist me financially to come over.But Before she left to Germany i realize she is a narcissist, i discarded her and went NO CONTACT for six(6) months, my finances was pretty bad so i had to break the NO CONTACT in other to see if she will still keep to her promised. But am confused if her purpose of accepting me back is to hurt me or seek revenge for discarding her initially, though she says she has forgiven me. I still have doubts. I feel like my identities been stolen.Please Dear Melanie what do you advise i do?
Hi Maranatha,
Truly, if you stay attached to a person who has been abusive, with any form of dependency, such as money, then this person can keep you hooked and keep abusing you.
If they have shown pathological and narcissistic behaviour in the past, then it’s not can change.
The narcissist loves to keep you attached with expecting or needing something from them, that they will never deliver.
My greatest suggestion to you would be to cut your losses, detach completely and powerfully walk forward with the lesson and the healing and your own up-levelled evolution and create a magnificent and fantastic life.
All of us Thrivers did that, despite the losses!
There is no point rolling around in the muck any longer. I promise you you will lose more than what you already have, so much more, if you do.
That’s my take on it!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Mel,
I’ve signed up for the Narp program but I’ve yet to use it effectively, probably because I’ve spent the last year battling and winning against breast cancer. I honestly believe I got so sick because of at least the post separation years of stress. 10 years later and it’s still at the intensity we broke up 2 months ago.
Feb 2019 was the day I was diagnosed , and ironically I had just been emailed a draft copy of my family court application for full custody…. So everything had to be shelved. Two months later his nastiness stopped, that was April. This April it’s started up again, I’m barely 6 weeks post treatment (not chemo thank gods) and 6 weeks post surgery. 12 months to the day he’s back to normal. The first thing that happens is my health crashes, I’m in er getting a blood transfusion because my blood types are half the lower end of normal values, severe pancytopenia (not just anemia, all of them) he has literally sucked my essence from my soul.
This time I see red. I keep my child which resulted in an hour and half beating on my door until the police arrived. I had asked for a couple of extra days to hear what a judge has to say about his decision to send our son back to school amid Covid19. I’m in West Australia so there’s no extreme danger like the States, but there’s danger for me. I applied for an urgent court order on the Friday and had heard nothing by the Sunday for changeover. I asked for reason and to wait a day or two, because if our son returned with him and then went to school, my safe bubble was burst. Besides, we were both set up to commence online schooling at the beginning of term.
Then your usual emails I receive about your blogs started to become really relevant. Mel each day, you have been expressing directly to me exactly what that particular day’s struggle and stress has really been about.
Our yeah, he applied to the court on the Monday for a recovery order, my Friday’s new application also got filed and pipped him at the post, I only had to change the draft copy from last year to include his latest tantrum. His recovery order and my application have been fast tracked to this Monday 25 May. Thank you Ex! He has ticked the box “enforcement of current orders”. Oh yes please! My application outlines there is no Equal shared parenting responsibility, plus this week his monthly child support has been stopped. I enquires politely and was told politely there’s an issue with the bank and he’ll look into it. Nice, payment of monthly child support is also stipulated in the original 2010 orders.
I complained in my affidavit how he lies to medical professionals that I have mental issues and that I didn’t bond with our baby, that I had PND and then 6 years post separation I read a 10 page report from a specialist that says I have bi polar. The report says my son has ADHD and needs to be retested for autism. He has executive function problems and the report outlines a lot of things we can do and what can be done in the classroom. I was not told of this report of findings session. This report has since been shown to school authorities as well as medical professionals. To be honest I felt silly writing that on my case issue affidavit, thinking I’m sounding like I have mental problems and playing into his hand, but I was so glad I did, because when I was served his affidavit, I read he advises the court I have bipolar.
Yesterday I write notes about what I will respond to, and when it came to trying to explain the impact of him doing that, I managed to describe the power imbalance but ineffectually. Until I read today’s blog. Mel I’ve stolen a piece from your blog, and rewritten it. It now explains clearly and succinctly the clear problem in our co-parenting. He has kindly provided me the proof it happens on his affidavit…. and this is it.
“In other words, “Their” agenda and decisions happen without my involvement or with any consideration for my values or the needs and wants for our child. It is “sold” to me as this: The Father knows what’s best for our son because I don’t have the ability to know or decide what is best for him. How can I continue to try and co-parent -equally – our son, who has autism, when the father has never believed I have ADHD, but declares openly I have BiPolar, yet he has frequently denied or been blind to the fact that our son, assessed by experts, has autism?
Oh Mel, thank you! Together this SOB who has been in my life for 33 years since age 17, is going down.
What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger
Oh wonderful Melanie!
I am 3 months out from my narcissist husband, and this Thriver came curiously, just at the right moment…I found myself, last night, thinking about the “good times” about how much I deeply loved this man, and feeling very hurt about it all, again -out of nowhere- when I KNOW, he is just a shell, empty- no real love (of course, he knew how to fake it) was living a disgusting sort of double life- yes, to the world, he is charming, wealthy, pretends to care -but only for gain to him- he is 73 years old, and has a life long pattern of 5 year relationships-every single one, the devaluation comes at the 4 year mark, I never believed he could do it, to me, to ‘us’ -saying to close friends, I won’t be truly convinced, or sure, that its narcissism, until he does a devaluation, on me-up to the day he did, I was sure, he would NEVER be capable of doing such a thing to me-and then,
last August, he did-I immediately went to a LMHC therapist, who held my hand through the Next 6 months, through glimmers of hope, all lies, that would end up exploding in my mind and heart, getting worse and worse the crazy making, just incredible-I was on the brink of losing my mind, and in February-I got away- it’s been a rough 3 months of financial worry, legal worries- anxiety–but I’m getting there, I got out-! I think it’s the emotional addiction rearing it’s ugly head-that I, after 3 months of total NC, I sent him an email, offering to return some things to him-in way that I won’t lay eyes on him-he responded immediately, and then, those feelings came back-
I know, he is not real, I know I continue to mourn the loss of something that never was-it’s very sad – but critical thinking-going over the REALITY of what he is, remembering the cruelty, and now, this article appearing in my email, this afternoon-I’m feeling back on track-
Thank you Melanie-you are amazing…😘🙏🏼💪
I have a narcissist mother, and a narcissist ex husband. I’ve mostly healed from those situations, but am always a work in progress.
The thing that has been upsetting me lately is the narcissistic behavior of my country’s leader during this crisis, and the fact that he still has a substantial number of people who passionately support him.
Today for the first time, I had compassion for those people because I realized just as I was in relationship with narcissists, they are too. Many of the same dynamics seem to apply.
I was wondering if you’d consider doing an episode on this topic sometime.
Hi Heidi,
please know I did not get politically involved.
What I will say, is that whatever trauma we do have trigger within us, is exactly what we can release, to get peace and power and clarity.
Sending love and healing to you.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie
Thank you so much for this reply ❤️.
I always view for the winner or I don’t vote at all. God is the only ONE in charge anyway at all times.
It seems this episode has people realising that Narc abuse is EXACTLY ABOUT IDENTITY DISCOVERY.
THAT’S THE BEAUTY of it. We get to find ourselves – our REAL Self within. We get to discover the Perfection and Pure Beauty of our nature after the Narc has destroyed the false self we thought we were and which was always in dependency seeking to be comforted and confirmed by someone else. Seeking to blame someone else for our lack of happiness.
The NARC was the best thing that ever happened to that pretension.
Now, with NARP tools and understanding, We can finally take responsibility for our own happiness etc.
Let’s not try to blame the President!!! The economy, or the Court!!
As you’ve said countless times, when we really heal ( which is, when we really find our Source Of LOVE inside) beautiful serendipitous blessings just pour into these situations.
NARP is a tool of DIVINE salvation. It transports us into another dimension of TRUTH where DIVINE LOVE governs all. And the Narc is found to be an instrument of good in the hands of GOD in whom everything only has power to bless us not harm us.
Narcissism is such a good term for looking into something else that MUST affirm our Being. Both Narcs and their targets suffer from the same delusion.
The MIRROR IS WITHIN. LOOK WITHIN with NARP and find LOVE AND BEAUTY.
GOD BLESS EVERYTHING and everyone. Including the Narcs.
Melanie, my deepest gratitude for your presence on Earth.
Hi Iris,
I love that you have highlighted that the true mission is to uncover and claim our Real Self.
I agree that this is not about blaming anything external, it is simply about turning internally and enacting the only mission that is necessary!
And, absolutely unconsciousness is the true and most dangerous enemy.
Iris, thank you for your beautiful words and gratitude and please know how grateful I am for you, and your amazing contributions to all, you beautiful Divine Being.
So much love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Been there-20 years. I had no idea people could be monsters. There was a good side, and very bad, once I was told I would never heal, physically. Because I considered him my hero, I overlooked many red flags waving.
He turned dangerous for me and my children. I tried to warn. He turned them against me, somehow.
It was truly devastating, and I had never lived my own life. My stepfather was also abusive & narcissistic ; I knew no different. But I do today! I earned a degree, and been successful alone, even while trying to earn the trust of my children back. So much grief was involved; we were together 20 years.
Thank you, for shedding light on the subject. Good people cannot fathom such evil.
Hi Reba,
I’m so pleased that you are living your life, and finding your way to healing.
It’s my pleasure and I so hope that I can help.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Where’s the cat?
Hi Michael,
Tiggy makes his appearances when it suits him!
He is with me in my new home.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie,
I hope this is not too much of a personal question but I’m curious to know, how do you always manage to look so beautiful, fresh, radiant and young?! Please share! 🙂
I’m 44 years old woman, yep, survived from n abuse and I feel basically ok and balanced these days, but I feel I’ve started to look so “old”, somehow worn out, not vital and lively. I feel such a loss when I look at pictures when I was younger and indeed quite pretty back then. I never drink, smoke, I go to gym quite a lot but it doesn’t seem to make much difference. This isn’t about vanity, but feeling like I’d love to be “the best me”. Is it too late? 🙁 Looking at you makes me feel inspired, but I wonder if it’s possible for ME.
Dearest No Name,
I just wanted to share this with you… it is never too late dearest one. I am 42 and had been in and out of abusive relationships for more than 20 years. I felt broken and was chronically ill with M.E. I felt like I looked like a tired old ghost!
Finally, after fully committing to my healing and the NARP journey I feel like I look fresher and better thanI have ever felt before in my life. Perhaps it is because I now feel fully empowered, vibrant and alive – and genuinely loving life. Maybe it is that “vibe” that shines through after doing the work? I also spend a lot of time in nature, meditating and on my yoga mat – cultivating peace and love (I know it’s cliche). But it feels true for me. I feel like the love has a radiance.
I know from having committed to my healing that what is on the inside is on the outside. Even my friends, or when I bump into someone I haven’t seen for a while, they ask how I am looking younger? It is the inner work… For me, it is the Love, Source, my True Self that is shiny, fresh and alive and energised.
It is never too late. You can do it. You are the Love.
I hope that helps. Blessings on your journey xx
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for your kind reply! You describe exactly, precisely the feeling I feel, looking/feeling like a tired old ghost!! 😀
I actually go to yoga and spend time outdoors too…but looks like something is still missing, like someone (me!) forgot to switch the inner light on!
My mind/mindset seems to be “funny” in that way, that healing work, self love etc. easily become to me just another thing on “to do list”, another task, something that I need somekind of a technique to master that, and that of course is not what self love is about. But for me it still seems to be something that is easier said than done.
All the best to you too!
Hi No Name,
No it’s not a personal question at all! I promise you that when I was going through narcissistic abuse I felt like I looked about 90 years of age!
I know that the reason why I look and feel the way I do, is because I am forever committed to releasing any Trauma from my inner being with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and using the Quanta Freedom Healing process in NARP to bring in Source where the trauma was.
This is infusing me constantly with Lifeforce and Well-being.
It’s a really common experience with all Thrivers, that people comment about how young, radiant and healthy we look!
I promise you sweetheart it is never too late. I have seen women in their 70s glow and become more beautiful than ever, inside and out, as a result of committing to the inner healing with NARP.
I believe all of us deserve to break free into our wisest, happiest, most peaceful and beautiful selves.
Absolutely hun, this is possible for you! Start working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and you will start to feel better than you thought you ever could!
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Makes sense, I understand! But I have done quite a lot of healing work already. How do I know what trauma I still might have that needs to be healed? The “annoying” thing with unconscious stuff is that is it…unconscious. Like you have said many times, the n actually unknowingly helped me to recognize and become aware of my trauma! I think I still have some residue, but I cannot access what it might be, otherwise I would heal it right now!
Hi No Name,
This is such a great question! When you work with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp because you are energetically picking up the trauma and all of its emotional imprints, there is no need to work out what trauma you’re working on. All you have to do is set the intention that you are working on “the trauma generating (……)” and the Quanta Freedom Healing system loads up and releases and reprograms that trauma for you, even without you having any cognitive understanding about it whatsoever.
Your body holds the wisdom and the energy of the trauma, all you have to do is feel it somatically, which is generally very easy to do once you are guided to in the right way.
I can’t recommend working with NARP enough, because you will start to experience what it is to release and reprogram internal traumas powerfully and easily, without logically needing to work out what they are!
Also, for more help with how to work with NARP effectively, as a Gold Member you have access to the NARP Members Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member at all times.
You don’t have to do this alone!
I hope this helps and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dear Mel,
Thank you so much for this. Your knowledge and insight are so deeply appreciated. (I have completed the NARP course, free’d myself from the Narc in my life and reclaimed my Self, my love, my life…).
It turns out that in my close circle several other women are in/transitioning out of relationships with Narcs.
Your blogs and resources are a godsend. Truly. I share them, your book and your key teachings regularly with the dear ones I know who are going through it, and my family members who feel powerless and helpless as they feel they are watching their loved ones being destroyed. Specifically a family member of mine, far, far away from me in Melbourne (I am in the UK), a precious and most innocent your woman is being badly abused and is still yet to break away.
Fortunately she has reached out to me, knowing that I have been through the C.R.A.P. of these types of relationship and work in holistic therapy and wellbeing. I have shared several of you blogs, your course and links to free eBooks. I cannot thank you enough. My prayer is that she will make it – I hold her with this positive field in my heart; while honouring her sacred, healing journey through life.
Together, as quantum individuals, we can heal these wounds. With knowledge, consciousness and the emotional tools, my wish is to continually offer this opportunity for us to Thrive, grow and expand into the Love that we all are.
Mel, if you ever offer a training in your approach I will be signing up immediately.
My love and thanks to you and your wonderful team.
Namaste,
Rachel x
Hi Rachel,
It’s my pleasure.
I’m thrilled that NARP has helped you so much.
Thank you Rachel for sharing my resources with others. I love it that we can reach out and help others to heal for real.
I too hold the space for your friend’s full recovery and Thriving.
Absolutely, I will be training others in Quanta Freedom Healing in the future, and I promise you as a part of this community you will be notified as soon as that becomes available.
Thank you for being a Dear Sister in our human quest for much-needed evolution and healing.
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie, this is an amazing piece, which I will keep and re-read when I need a boost or a reminder. It’s a little frustrating because I wish I could share it with other people in my life to help them see the reality of mutual acquaintances or family members.
I’ve had a steady stream of narcs stomp through my life (and some have been ‘narcissistic sociopaths’ too, if we’re going to be really technical.) My father, my sister,
quite a few friends, I also now realise, and of course, practically every boyfriend.
I’ve suffered depression and trauma, and low self esteem. But what has saved me over the years is an inner resilience, a lot of hope, and the intelligence to eventually realise that I was continually being abused, and therefore had to walk away from bad people eventually. It took over 40 years to finally walk away from my sister after she physically assaulted me in her house one evening. I know this sounds crazy, but that incident FINALLY woke me up to the fact that she was mad, bad and dangerous to know, whereas she had always led me to believe, ever since we were children, that I was so hideous and unlovable, that I deserved her abuse. No wonder I kept accepting it from other people in my life – it just felt so familiar and comfortable. (My father died a long time ago BTW so I only realised in retrospect that he also had many narc traits. But he was also an incredibly unhappy man, so I feel very deep compassion for him too.)
Melanie, thank you so much for your work on this issue. Although I’ve been good at eventually walking away from all the narcs in my life, what your program has helped me with is letting go of the residual trauma and helping me restore my power on an inner level. It’s helped to confirm that there is nothing wrong with me, and that the fault lies with these horrible, toxic parasites. Ultimately, we can swat them aside without a second thought (like the wasps that they are) and go merrily on our way. What’s not to like?
I wish you all much courage, hope and joy on your own personal journeys. ♥️
Hi Alex,
thank you for your lovely words and I’m so pleased that this resonated with you.
That’s beautiful Dear Lady that you are healing, and that you have been able to release and let go of the trauma inside you.
You are very welcome, and it gives me great joy to hear about your release from what you have suffered.
Love that you are bursting forth into your True Self Alex!
Sending you continued and never-ending love, blessings and breakthroughs
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thanks to you too Melanie. Healing is a steady journey, and as I march forward, I accept all words of help – including yours. So I will continue to watch your videos and read your blogs, and hopefully inspire others in my life to do the same. Wishing you well. Alex
My ex Nark Convinced me that all her Previous lovers were terrible people (but I’m sure they were nice and Caring people, but just got sucked in with the same old story) and after watching today’s video i realise that what she was doing, was appealing to my ego, thinking i was siding with her against them and in So doing, made me feel Super special, but when you come to realise that they are doing the same line with perhaps 5 other people while with you, then you realise their story has no credibility whatsoever, flattering our ego, something to look out for, thanks again Melanie for another Amazing insight, Blessings Col 🙂
Hi Col,
You are absolutely correct, there is nothing more special about us to the narcissist, them being just another source of Narcissistic Supply!
Power and healing to you!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie: First of all, I and so many others are rooting for the smooth and fruitful success of your all-day healing workshop.
Secondly, I’ve recently come to the following realization as being inclusive of all complexity, and yet also simplifying and truthful. Perhaps I can convey something of the ready empowerment in it that has been a gift for me.
1) For every tendency to be available to an NA’s predations,
there is a corresponding substrata space within me by which I cannot (physically and dynamically) connect with my own personal power, which is naturally physically grounded.
2) For every inability to (physically and dynamically) connect with and stand with my own (physically grounded) power, there is a corresponding unresolved trauma (“or trauma set”).
3) For me it has become predictably confirm-able, and I dare say without exception, that an unresolved trauma — or it could also be a set of related traumas, or it could also be a relatedly accrued mass of repeated smaller and mild related traumas — is quite simply what has been the real wrench in the works all along.
(4 That is to say, “the works” or machinery or functioning capacities have not been and are not broken or tangled beyond their own confident capability for self-re-integration and self-regeneration — even if this might feel and look like the case while the wrenches are awaiting removal. The miasma anchors are basically just the wrench(es)! . . . which are are just the unresolved traumas . . . their importance can’t be minimized, but they can be distinguished, cleanly come to terms within the body, and released. Attention need not be wasted on other mystifying interpretations of what there is to address, efficiently.
5) From this perspective I can re-evaluate the determined, self-flagellating feeling that I am inwardly #!@?%-ed beyond repair — repair that can seemingly only come from outside of me. To some very tired degree, for me, this has been simply an incorrect inference, powerlessly made while the wrench/es were still laying heavily in the works, and I was self-irresponsibly allowing more to be thrown in by my NA associates, family members and “loved ones”.
6) The next “ahaaaah” is that without that wrench (wrenches), my self seems to have been designed to be able to reliably proceed to re-unify itself and restore its core functioning, on its own. This does, however, require my own continued progress in the healing of trauma, as well as my continued progress in learning to access and develop my personal resources in handling what would have previously been overwhelming realities, situations, etc., including NA.
7) That is, as I release the wrench(es) (which within the present context is what NARP is primarily about,) (and if done from within their having been held in the body enough) I can witness my body-mind having the built-in –even instinctual, it seems — naturally given powers to step into integrative functioning, in their own right, especially if and when I continue to give them space within and around myself to expand. So this has been the second (physical and dynamic, as well as emotionally and mental freeing) solid. The first was the recognition of trauma as the only real wrench. Mis-guidance and mis-education are mainly secondary factors that are rectifiable by the de-traumatized and therefore functional self.
8) Therefore, a very primary life skill to get down and learn (if not osmotic-ally transferred from early caregivers) is, put simply, the skill set of: dealing with and undoing trauma in myself for myself, and then expanding the self thusly freed, which is what we’re doing here with support. And, secondly, to adeptly learn the now more accessible developmental skills for dealing with new potentially overwhelming life situations, in ways that they are not by default turned into sustained inner traumatic imprints — the pain of that old inversion pattern (the polite accommodation of wrenches) has just grown untenably old. Definitely don’t wait until you’re past 60.
I hope this perspective will be at least as dispelling of avcloud of helplessness, as it has been for me.
Hi Michman,
Thank you for your lovely well-wishes!
Your mind is fascinating Michman, and it is great that you give it full rein to dissect all of this.
You are 100% correct the trauma is the only wrench!
What is also fascinating about this journey is that we are coded naturally and organically to be whole and integrated with our outer universe, when our inner universe heals and integrates.
One of the trappings of the mind is that we think we need to “learn” what we actually already “know”.
Is there any way to logically assess and define consciousness? Or is it something that just “is”?
Is it something that we need to learn, or by the emerging of it from within (as the natural divine Coded truth without trauma) do we then just simply call forth all of the support, knowledge and additions that help to ignite and supplement this organic divine inner emergence?
Meaning how to “be” in a balanced, wise, Oneness way, that serves us and The All.
Much love to you and thank you for your post.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie
Thanks for blog post very insightful and boy have I fallen for the false mirage of love and other promise of an opportunity that is not that at all. Being to nice a people pleaser and always giving away my power distrusting my feelings and living in disconnection was a sure way to be ensnared. Before getting hooked in by two sociopaths Ihad a traumatic work experience living in the UK and being unhappy with my circumstances expecting people to be supportive when what I got was racism and covert abuse which is all part of my existing trauma. Can the trauma prior to my narcissistic abuse have something to do with this too. Is it all accumulated damage we collect that allows something horrifying like sociopathic abuse to come forth?
Thanks
Lina
Hi Lina,
You are very welcome.
Absolutely it is that prior trauma that keeps meeting us, in The Field from the players in our life experience, who bring forth the evidence of the pre-existing Inner Trauma, so that we can finally turn ourselves inwards to release ourselves from it.
Then, when you do, your Outer Universe shifts dramatically to match the new healed Inner Universe.
There is a total purpose to all of this!
This is why I love Thriver Healing so much, in the way of NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp because it treats all of the residual trauma that was already there in our energy field, as well as the newly accumulated traumas, to free ourselves from our core, from the inside out.
Hence why Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP) is so powerful and effective.
You are totally awakening to the truth here!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
6 months since he walked out on me and our 2 children with bank accounts drained, no bills paid for months, house in preforclosure and 2 days after my oldest sister died in her sleep. My oldest son is special needs and I quit working to care for him and be a stay at home mother. I NEVER saw it coming. I had him stay with family because I had to commit him twice in a month and then he attempted suicide and wouldn’t allow me to get help. But I did and I had to make him stay somewhere until he was stable and on medication for safety reasons. It was a month later when my sister died and he came back home for support but I didn’t know he would pack and start a fight where he was the cruelest he has EVER been in 15 years and held back nothing with the kids standing there. My entire would crashed so fast and then Covid happened. I’m tired. I’m worn out, and I don’t have help. I know how sick I am for wanting him to come back and now I think that the chronic fatigue and chronic pain was due to him and I needed him because of it. I know that I need to get my shit together asap and I am trying. But everything is about the asshole narcissist. I know what a p.o.s. he is! I don’t need to decode how f*cked up he is because I lived through it and I sure don’t want to open up about the real NPD abuse. I have to surrender. I need to stop fighting life, I just don’t know how.
I have recently opened my eyes to see my daughter is narcistic . I supported her as a mother through her failed first marriage, divorce and now second marriage. My grandchildren have been taken away as I finally realized I myself was dying inside and quit accepting the behavior. Everything I do is wrong as she has written and yet portrays how she has tried. The pain has been almost unbearable and I went to a very low spot and wasn’t sure I would recover. I have slowly regained. not there yet as the emotional pain is quite deep. I know some parts of what my grandchildren have been told but I can only imagine the rest. I want them to know I am around and remain to love them but, I don’t know at this point if they even want that. and if they do they risk the wrath of the mother. not necessarily towards them but more towards me. The hardest thing about writing or thinking the thoughts is that I appear selfish and victimish and I don’t wish that. only peace
Hi Jean,
I am so sorry you’ve been through such a traumatic and painful experience.
As a parent I can’t even imagine how terrible that would be, and to be cut off from your grandchildren.
Lena, I would love you to come into my one-day workshop to help you get added relief and healing from what you have been through http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/digitalpass
Sending you all of our love and healing from this wonderful community’s hearts and spirits to yours.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie,
I have followed you in your Facebook group which I joined approximately 9 years ago and have even spoken with you once by phone. I had just divorced the Narcissist in my life, then took 7 years off from dating due to declining health and eventually was deemed disabled a judge.
Two years ago, a high school friend found me on Facebook and once again he was adoring, told me everything I needed to hear, supported me through my Mother’s death and Father’s demise due to Alzheimers, but after about a year…his mask began to drop. I broke up with him several times yet was always drawn back in to his web. He wasn’t abusive as my first Narcissist but I felt suddenly things were different about him and his words and actions no longer matched up. When I confronted him last weekend with all of his lies and inappropriate behaviors, the rage emerged. Once again, the same pattern. I had been given your program by a dear Australian friend, but never completed it. Shame on me! I will be in your Saturday seminar and from this day forward, healing myself! 2 Narcissistic relationships is more than I deserve or will ever tolerate!
I have received confirmation of my payment for you Saturday seminar but no instructions. Should I be receiving an email soon with the information?
I’m ready now because obviously, I cannot do this on my own!
Thank you Mel,
Carol Bradshaw
Hi Carol,
it’s lovely to hear from you sweetheart and I am so pleased that you are still connected.
\I’m so pleased that you are going to pick up NARP and do the serious inner work now. It really is beyond life changing, as I know you have seen with so many others in this community over the years.
Hun, please email [email protected] and one of the beautiful team will help you, and make sure that you connected!
You don’t have to do this alone Carol, there is a magnificent NARP Member’s Forum and MTE support system to help you all the way!
If you are a Gold NARP member, then you already have access to the NARP Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member and if not then please ask a support team to help you get connected because it’s going to be really invaluable for your healing journey.
It’s your time!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Mel, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your good work (sorry my English is not so good / I’m living in Italy ).My mother is a covert narc an my Ex husband. We were married for 20 years. 5 years ago the discard. I was out of any energy for years . Terrible pain until now. And I have worked many on this trauma. I am so glad that I have found you. I have a question : offen I think that perhaps I’m a covert narc too and also manipulative because I have manipulate him also while doing everything for him because there is fear of abandoned. May it be that I’m also a covert narc? Thank you for everything. Best wishes, Claudia
Hi Claudia,
it’s my pleasure.
Please know Claudia that when we have been around someone who is sick, we get sick. Of course to try to survive and have your needs met you can’t operate at a healthy and whole person!
Please understand Claudia that anybody who asks that question and looks to take personal responsibility for their behavior, is NOT a narcissist!
I’d love you to check out this resource of mine which will help you get even more clear https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ , and I’d love you also to come into my one-day workshop http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/digitalpass to get relief, and start powerfully healing from this.
Sending you love, blessings and breakthroughs Dear Sweet Lady, and please know absolutely you are not a narcissist!
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dear Melanie- THANK YOU for being YOU and for following your divine purpose. You are saving lives! I, for one, am tired of just surviving and I truly want to THRIVE, but I am an off-and-on NARPer and prone to getting stuck. 🙁
I got your NARP program several years ago sometime after my divorce. My husband of 17 years I now know was a covert narcissist, but he became more overt, aggressive, and even dangerous at the end. I really didn’t recognize him as the man I had married. My whole world was turned upside down and I struggled to understand what had happened, why I was exhausted and confused all the time, and even who I was without being his wife.
A year later, I fell hard for a much younger guy that turned out to be an opportunist as well as a narcissist. I could see right through him from the beginning, but thought I could handle it, that I wouldn’t fall for his games. Oh how wrong I was! I got so hooked on him like the most powerful drug. I could actually feel the adrenaline rushes when he would call and I went into panic mode when he became unavailable due to ‘work’ (which I now know was his other ‘prospects’). It took me a year to break it off with him and even longer to stop obsessing about him. About that time, I got your NARP program. I worked through some of the modules and then stopped for some reason.
Then, after a few years being single, I decided to start dating again, and it’s no big surprise that the guy I fell for was another narcissist, promising me the world, saying I was the love of his life, the most important thing (thing, not person), and love-bombing me. After three months, we moved in together. Even then, I knew something wasn’t quite right, but I chose to ignore the red flags and ‘stick with it’, making excuses, and hoping the ‘mirage’ I fell in love with would return. Just as you describe in your posts and videos, then came the devaluation, the rejection, the insults, the tirades, the accusations, the cheating, the humiliation. Finally, I decided to leave. I still felt discarded even though I was the one who left. I returned to my NARP modules and I was so pleased that I was able to upgrade to the newer version for free! (as you say in your guarantee – thank you!).
Thank GOD I left him in October of 2019 before this pandemic!! I have gone no contact with him, but I still constantly think about him and how much it hurts. I realize he really was an AID to me because I FINALLY understand the real reason it hurts so much that he didn’t love me was that I didn’t love myself. I still can’t say I love myself truly. Cognitively, I get everything that you say. The modules I have done have provided some relief, but I feel myself avoiding it or resisting – maybe because my victim-mode is so familiar? Who will I be without this pain? “This deep sadness I call home”- it seems to have always been there. A deep, dark, emptiness inside me… I think I’m scared to let that go and allow myself to be happy! How ‘wrong town’ is that??
Apologies for the long post. It helps to write it out and hopefully some others can relate to my story even though I’m not fully thriving yet. Perhaps someone who has begun to thrive can give me some tips? I am so excited, though, as I have signed up for your one-day workshop on May 30th! I can’t wait to meet you, Mel! Even though I am not quite there yet, I would not have come so far without your emails, blog posts, and weekly videos! They are the light at the end of the tunnel! Can’t wait to meet you and thank you in person!
Hi Melissa,
thank you for writing in, and it’s not a problem that your post is lengthy!
Melissa, hun, the answer is the inner work with NARP! I guess for all of us, this is the real question “How much pain do I need until I do what I need to do – meet and heal the inner painful beliefs and traumas that are generating these painful repeat patterns?”
My highest suggestion to you is to come into the NARP Member’s Forum for help, support and encouragement to do what you need to do.
The truth is no amount of “thinking”, “strategies” and “distractions” can substitute for deep inner healing.
Didn’t we all try all of that before the inner true commitment and breakthrough?
This time it will be wonderful to fully commit to healing you. Awesome that you are coming into my One Day Workshop!
Much Love, healing and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
“When you try to assert your rights and truth regarding the sovereignty of your feelings, values, desires and choices in life (meaning the freedom to be fully yourself), and they are not allowed – then you are being abused.” This is the most profound direct statement of truth for me.
“People who are soulless, and are not concerned with other people’s feelings, needs or values.” This resonates a lot. The lack of care and responsiveness to my feelings, the denial of my right to personal boundaries and having normal healthy relationship needs met, and the general play on abandonment wounds has been nothing short of horrific.
“decisions happen without your involvement or any consideration for your values and desires. It is “sold” to you as this: this person knows what’s best for you because YOU don’t have the ability to know or decide what is best for you.” This also resonates,, as if I’m not a self determined adult. Is it normal to feel utterly and completely infuriated and not be able to let go of that?
Hi Samantha,
I promise you that it is totally normal.
The effects of N-abuse sare terribly difficult to let go of, unless working with deeper more effective tools.
I’d love to join me in my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar or my One Day Workshop http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/digitalpass
to learn how it is powerfully possible.
I hope that this helps
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
“decisions happen without your involvement or any consideration for your values and desires. It is “sold” to you as this: this person knows what’s best for you because YOU don’t have the ability to know or decide what is best for you.” This also resonates, as if I’m not a self determined adult and my opinion doesn’t matter. Is it normal to feel utterly and completely infuriated and not be able to let go of that?
Thanks again, for another insightful email.
I believe your message has finally clicked for me. I’ve learned recently, to focus on this one simple fact – the one thing that breaks the cycle of cognitive dissonance and confusion from all of the manipulation and gaslighting – don’t pay one ounce of attention to his words. The words that say he loves me one minute, but then will ignore me or do some under the radar jab at my heart – Only pay attention to his actions. I’ve permanently put his voice on mute. When I do this, I see that his actions say that he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t respect me and he doesn’t value me. Narcissists love to try to shake your firm grip on reality, and this is how I broke the spell. Mute his words and pay attention to his actions. Total game changer.
Hi Jennifer,
it’s my pleasure.
I love that you decided to put his voice permanently on mute.
Power to you Dear Lady and much love
Mel 🙏💕💚
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Yeah just like going along and doing what politicians or jealous immature older women expect you to do according to the disasters of the decisions and behaviors they made, just to end up with the same shit sandwich they got.