Trauma is terrible. It feels terrible and robs you of your energy, life force, and positive future.
Arguably, narcissistic abuse is one of the most severely compounding traumatic events that anyone can go through. You cannot just snap your fingers and get over such traumas. Toxic abuse trauma is deep, hideous, and insidious. Contemporarily, many people live on with the trauma of narcissistic abuse for most, if not all, of their lives.

Does it have to be this way?

It doesn’t, especially when you understand the truth about trauma.


Trauma Is An Inner Experience

The following statement changes everything you used to think about trauma –

Trauma is not what happened to you. It’s your INNER experience as a result of what happened to you.

The vital point about this is the words “inner experience.”

What does this mean?

It means that trauma is inside of you and causing the breakdowns in your life from inside of you. For many years, as an advocate for Thriving after narcissistic abuse, I discovered that trauma needed to be addressed inside of ourselves for healing to be effective.

That allows you to go completely free from trauma, level up beyond it, and be even more empowered, clear, safe, and expanded than even before it happened to you.

I have seen the most horrific of traumas overcome, and Thriving forthcoming, with thousands of people, as well as my own significant trauma experience.

Let me explain why!


Trauma Being An Outer Focus

The usual model of supposed trauma recovery is a focus on the outer experience. Who did it to me, when it happened, and why do they behave this way? I am trying to learn all about it and protect myself from people like this who are doing it to me again.

Sadly, we have been programmed into thinking about trauma in this way. Learning all about other people’s inner experiences and outer behavior doesn’t grant healing to your inner experience and ability to be outwardly powerful, whole, and safe. Information is not transformation.

This would be like being hit by a car, and the person next to you leaves you bleeding on the road and runs after the hit-and-run driver to try to hold them accountable. You need attention, recovery, getting well, and strength again to continue your life. There is no way they would abandon you and leave you to escalate into greater sickness by denying you the medical attention you desperately need.

Emotional wounds are no different. Just because you can’t “see” them doesn’t mean they aren’t deadly or they don’t get progressively worse when left unattended.


The Outside Can Never Heal You

The faux-healing culture keeps us disconnected from our inner beings, trying to change everyone outside of ourselves to try to get better.  If you need accountability or justice to feel whole, you could be waiting your entire life traumatized and still not get that result. How can a damaged, unconscious, toxic person heal themselves enough to become conscious, responsible, and remorseful to give you what you want to heal yourself?

It is impossible to force someone to be accountable or be held responsible for what they did to you. Even if they did, you still have to heal your inner being, because it is YOUR inner being, they can’t do that for you. Any relief from justice is short-lived because the trauma is still wedged inside of you like a toxic cancer eating you alive because that is what trauma does. It doesn’t magically disappear even when someone is held accountable or apologizes. I promise you I have seen the evidence first-hand in this community. On the rare occasions that justice happens. I have clients and students doing their inner recovery work even when the narcissist is put behind bars. That “outer event” did NOT heal them!

Wouldn’t it be much more empowering to heal yourself from the inside and move on in your uplevelled Thriving Life regardless of whether this person comes clean and does the right thing or pays for what they did?

Of course, it would be! An attachment to the outer will never give you that.

Rather, it allows what this person did to continue destroying you for the rest of your life, whereas your own resurrection and liberty from trauma, from the inside, means that you and your life win, independent of what happens to this person.



Why Attention To The Inner Experience Is The Only Way To Heal Trauma

Many people are shocked that research, talking, and cognitive therapy are not helping them recover from trauma.

The following is an example of exactly why.

Say the words “I think traumatized.”

Now, say the words, “I feel traumatized.”

Which statement lands as “real”?

Obviously, it is the second one because trauma is not logical. It’s emotional. It lives inside of your emotional, limbic, somatic (feeling) self.

The trauma shows itself to you with feelings of anger, shame, despair, helplessness, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and every other negative emotion. Then your head tries to “think” your way out of these inner states with obsession, rumination, excessive talking about or researching, and trying to get emotional relief.

If you don’t know how to turn inwards to release this trauma from your inner experience, then the trauma may escalate to attack your physical body with the manifestation of accidents, body parts breaking down, health conditions arising, and even serious dis-ease.

These are all the products of trapped internal trauma. “Dis-ease” is the operative word.

Then, you may turn to self-mediation to try to stop the emotional and physical pain. With addictive pastimes or choices to try to numb out. Yet these only escalate trauma because your inner being was never healed, and now other serious issues are piled on top, leading to an even greater disconnection from yourself and your ability to be whole, empowered, and healthy.

The problem is you have been programmed to believe that inner attention means having to remember and think all about your childhood and later traumas, reliving them to try to work out how the trauma got there. Naturally, you think your life may be on hold, with painful, lengthy, and expensive sessions of regurgitation.

This is not true – that is the old and obsolete way to heal.

Let’s go back to the statement that changes everything about your understanding of trauma –

Trauma is not what happened to you. It’s your INNER experience as a result of what happened to you.

It’s your feelings. It’s the dense, painful energy that your body is holding, generating the present triggers that are arising. You can’t defeat what you don’t define. The definition of your trauma is NOT the event; it is the FEELING in your body.

You can’t heal what you are not prepared to turn inwards to feel and then release. There are powerful and easy ways to do this to free yourself from trauma in a fraction of the time of the old ways of trying to deal with it. Without having to think about it at all! Additionally, releasing trauma does not have to be banging cushions, screaming, or some other drastic, dramatic event.



I hope today’s article is starting to make sense to you.

More than this, I am passionate about everyone learning the truth about trauma and being able to live free from it.

Please join me in my FREE 100-minute Masterclass, where I deeply explain the truth about trauma in even greater detail and take you through a soothing, supportive Quanta Freedom Healing session to find and release trauma in record time without needing any memory recall or logical dissection whatsoever.

You will feel immediate relief and benefits by signing up here

As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.


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Commments (5) + Leave a comments

5 thoughts on “The Untold Truth About Trauma

  1. The trauma from my narcissistic ex was awful and I am sure I can work through that. How do I work through the trauma of the experience of family court as a male? Treated like filth, made to have to justify why you are an adequate father even though you were primary carer.
    Watching my poor little kids souls being destroyed by not being with their dad when they were always with me, forced to live with their narcissistic mother who doesn’t wven take care of them, the grandparents do most of the caring.
    Then to rub salt in the wound, being divirce raped of 70% of all my assets and “allowed” to see my kids once in a while.
    How, after all this, can I be in a relationship again and trust such a biased, broken, sexist, anti-male system / country ever again? I despise Australia for what they did to me and there is no way on the planet I would allow me to be in any kind of interaction resembling a relationship that allows these utter scum bags to have a say over my life ever again. This is factual and logical, how do we get past this?

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