Melanie Tonia Evans

They Told Me I Would Never Recover Part 2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 1
35
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

In Part One, I shared with you the intimate details about my breakdown, awakening and how my life was changed forever.

Please watch Part One first if you haven’t already.

In this episode, Part Two, I share with you the numerous epiphanies I received shortly after my awakening, which took me from a person entrenched to living life from the outside in to one living life – for the FIRST time in my life – to the inside out.

And how I had finally realised that the broken parts of myself that had been with me all of my life, had been unconsciously involved in my patterns with painful and disappointing relationships – and that this had nothing to do with “blaming myself” and rather everything to do with loving those parts of me back to wholeness.

This began a quest of 18 months – until I finally cracked the code and learnt how to self-partner and work directly on my subconscious to release the crippling trauma that had overshadowed my life … and which created the template of what was to become the Thriver Community – revolutionising how we can heal from narcissistic abuse.

I hope that Part Two can help you believe the true healing is possible, no matter how broken we are – when we align with our truth and start releasing the trauma that was previously keeping us in the deep throes and symptoms of narcissistic abuse.

If you too have felt like you are at rock bottom, and are terrified you will never get back up again, or feel like you have had so much of the pain that you are going to give up – then I really do urge you to watch this episode.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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35 Thoughts on They Told Me I Would Never Recover Part 2
  • kim.shallis@gmail.com'
    TimC
    March 17, 2017

    Hi Mel, thanks for the focus on the ‘ work ‘ of true self awareness/healing.
    I find my ego/self story is reaching outwards to try and judge anything that might make me weak to attack.
    The fear of my Father’s unpredictable emotions in my childhood can make me paralysed in a defence rhetoric.
    I feel I am in a cycle of thoughts between ( you’re smart enough… you work it out… now, leave me alone )
    and
    ( be as you are… that’s why I love you )
    a double bind maybe ?
    anyway…
    I do believe I can trust and do trust there is a path of noticing and reclaiming the eternal love, so to speak,
    a path of less resistance
    thanks again Mel, you’ve helped me reveal/heal so much : )

    Love
    Tim

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi TimC,

      it’s my pleasure.

      And, of gosh, it is a work in progress Tim, targeting and dissolving the ego in shifts can help a lot.

      It trauma has been substantial, then our ego is absolutely energised.

      Mel xo

  • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
    Mette Mulbjerg
    March 17, 2017

    Dear Melanie

    Thank you for your story, for your courage and massive amount of work and effort that you share with so many – you have my deepest graditude!

    Even if we initially get all of this with our minds the resistance can be strong – this is a journey where we have to take all the steps nescessary to heal, there are NO options of shortcuts – ALL the steps has to be be experienced to be learned and truly integrated (no matter how hard it can feel at times, cause honestly it does, lol :-)).

    This personally has taken a long time, just to reach a feeling of the breakingpoint and I have had to live through many, many breakdown/breakthrough experiences in this journey – not just one, but MANY! And from a higher perspective it feels like that is what needs to happen for me to heal all that trauma <3

    Always, Always remember – as you said – this has NOTHING to do with blaming ourselves or anyone. This is about taking responsebility and learning one step at the time and as I have said before I truly want to underline the importance in having Patience and Compassion for ourselves in this journey, NOT comparing or compeeting with eachother in any form <3

    These days I have often though of what you said about putting icecream on top of *****!! It will never work, it ALL has to be cleaned out in order for the new house to be build on a truly solid and stabile foundation. Sometimes it all has to fall to rise again <3

    Thank you!!

    So much Love from Mette

    • annpowerwriting@gmail.com'
      Sophie
      March 18, 2017

      Hello Mette & Mel,

      I wanted to say a HUGE thank you — I just watched your Shift video last night, and I was doing the healing with you. It was truly the most powerful healing I have experienced.

      I kept saying “thank you, thank you” to you and to Mel, for being open and sharing that with us. I saw the change in your energy from start to finish and felt so happy when I saw your relief and lightness of being.

      I actually had to pause the healing at times because it got so intense and physically painful, which initially scared me, but I had enough presence of mind to soothe myself and say “it’s okay, this is the work.” I got very dizzy and then I did get sick during. But I allowed it. And when all was said and done, hours later, I looked in the mirror and said to myself “Wow. You are a rock star. I can’t believe you just felt that.”

      I did wake up this morning with the familiar pain and shame in my chest, though, which was a downer and made me feel I was never going to heal. But I have to believe it just means there’s more to do. More ego, more pain. What else can I do but clear again?

      You inspired me, thank you so so much. I came to this post to comment on it, actually, because since your video is older, I didn’t know if comments would be read… but then I saw you commented here, which is perfect! LOL!!!

      Thank you both so very much, please know how impactful your sharing has been. It gave me so much hope.

      Love,
      Sophie

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        March 18, 2017

        Hi Sophie,

        how gorgeous that you got so much out of the Shifts Happen with Mette … it was such a brave and incredible thing for Mette to do!

        It is wonderful you felt it so powerful and allowed it to work within you – you are right this is the work … when we do allow it, it is powerful.

        Please know Sophie that does mean there is more to do – and as you go into “that” wound (the next one) you will discover it is another one.

        Especially at the start, we can feel like “when will this end” … but I promise you as the more dense trauma energy leaves (darkness)… the light can start entering …

        It is so worth it 🙂

        You are on your way Dear Lady!

        Mel xo

      • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
        Mette
        March 19, 2017

        Dear Sophie

        I am deeply touched to read your message, so thank you!!

        I am just so happy that my healing could also be at help for others as well – this was a big part of why I did it too, so knowing that is a gift in it self <3

        I deeply understand what you wrote and you are so not alone in this. I have felt releif so many times and then afterwards the new layers appearing. This has been my journey since a started the programme and I had to struggle hard with persistance to break down my iron wall of resistance. And had a lot of guidance a long the way, cause I had so so much survival mechanisms that just kept blocking – this is ALL normal and depends on us as individuals and also the amount of trauma locked up inside. I have been so sick in many shifts too as all that toxic was getting out of my body. It was locked up really well and hardwired inside of me, so I get you and I too am still on my journey just like you 🙂

        Just know it get better for each an every wound/belief you resolve and unravel. Just look in the smallest things: the sun seems to shines brighter, you saw a beautiful flower, you forgot about it all for just a few minutes, you effortlessly made a cup of coffee or noticed the smile of a stranger walking outside. EVERYTHING counts and you will see that for each tiny step, you are healing <3

        I am sending you so much Love, from Mette <3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Mette,

      darling woman I always love hearing from you here!

      You are so welcome, and I just so hope that my story from total helplessness to Thriver Recovery can help others.

      It is so true there aren’t shortcuts … and I know you have had incredible breakdown points … and I would totally agree we have to break open out of old ego, victimised beliefs to become our True Self.

      I love what you have said about the patience and compassion – every soul’s journey of unravelling trauma to evolve itself is an individual journey, and one to be blessed … no matter what that journey looks like or how long it takes.

      It is all to be adored and honoured.

      So much love to you too dear Mette – one of my absolute soul sisters on this incredible journey out of the darkness into the light.

      Mel xo

      • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
        Mette
        March 19, 2017

        Thank you so much for your message, dear Melanie <3

        Sharing your story IS so deeply helpful in every way and has truly been that for me. "Meeting" you was like reading a reflection of my own experience (emotionally) and I still cannot tell you how much the timing and "coincedence" was like a genuine pure Miracle arriving at the exact right time in my Life.

        I was at the road of trying to find a way myself to heal and then you showed up and gave me back HOPE and an endless amount of explanation/knowlagde that brought deep understanding of the dynamic and why it all happened. AND even more important, you gave me soooo many concrete tools – a whole programme in fact! – to start working my traumatized being and out of victimazed state I was very aware of and knew I had "landed" in. But I could not find my way back out of anymore, it had become so deep rootet.

        It is so so so helpful to know that we are not alone!! And last but not least ALL the help and support I have been granted in many many moments of total dispare from both you, all the other members AND Moderators, who has given so much time of help and support <3

        This has been and is far from an easy journey and I have had so much resistance(stubborness) to surrendering, being so deeply terrorfied believing/trusting anything and that is just MY journey – but meeting "this" has litterally saved my life so I can now breath in between the healing of layers – cause this is taking it's time 🙂

        So Melanie, Thank you too soul sister!! You are a deep deep inspiration to me as I heal – Much Love from Mette

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          March 19, 2017

          Biggest hugs and love Mette,

          You and I both know with the deep layers of trauma … ‘there is / was nothing else to do”

          Your words are so thoughtful and beautiful darling one – and I treasure you very much.

          Mel xo

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    March 17, 2017

    You are right Melanie, Thetahealing does not cure codependency. What you have created is priceless and the impact you have in people’s life is unbelivable.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Nicoleta,

      thank you for your lovely comment, and I am so pleased I could help you.

      Mel xo

  • jhsbell1@gmail.com'
    Judi
    March 18, 2017

    Mel, I am “gobbling up” your talks and so much I get! I have struggled with my relationship with my sister for a very long time. I see how it’s about me and not trying to understand her. I know she triggers my unhealed stuff. Can I heal to the point I stop worrying about her? This seems impossible.
    Thank you

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Judi,

      I am so pleased my videos resonate with you …

      It is great that you understand the work is within.

      Yes – 100% you can, the answer is NARP – Quanta Freedom Healing in it – that is how all of us (almost all) purged for our being the trauma … (any negative feeling that haunted us).

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      Mel xo

  • zulay22@hotmail.com'
    Judy
    March 18, 2017

    Mel,
    So fortunate to have come across this healing technique almost 1 1/2 years ago when I most needed it. Sending you love and gratitude for this work you are sharing with everyone on the path to self discovery and healing:)
    Judy

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Judy,

      you are so welcome, I am so pleased you connected with NARP and it has helped you 🙂

      Bless you Dear Lady.

      Mel xo

  • sharabb99@hotmail.com'
    Healingpath
    March 18, 2017

    Hi Melanie

    You are an inspiration and thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to experience this wonderful NARP journey. I’ve being experiencing a lifetime of shifts as still doing the NARP programme and it brings up so much awareness dealing with the resistance to triggers and the ego mind, it is a feeling of pushing through the barriers to reach the other side and it is so worth it to have the feeling of complete emotional safety within yourself from doing the modules. It would be so great to reach your true state eventually without any triggers as doing the NARP programme a year now and it has being a life saver onwards and upwards!.

    Best wishes and Love from
    Healingpath

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Healing Path,

      Thank you and please know you are so welcome 🙂

      That is wonderful you have cleared out enough trauma to feel solid on the inside.

      Please know I still have triggers HP, just few and far between – and I do love them – because it grants me the opportunity to continually keep evolving myself.

      That is the journey – no destination … just Higher States of freedom within.

      Keep up the wonderful work and much love to you HP.

      Mel xo

  • jonassahlberg@hotmail.com'
    Olivia
    March 18, 2017

    I just sobbed through both part 1 and 2, it was like I could feel what you went through, and even though I have heard your story before, this time it really touched my heart.

    its almost 3 years since I started Narp now and I am really glad I found my way here, not just because it feels right, but also because my traumas were pretty extreme ( still are to some extent, but I keep on doing the healings almost daily and it gets better all the time ),
    and I dont know what else could have helped me.

    I used to have a really hard time with things happening, and I thought they were to me, when actually they were by me, and for me. I do still have hard times and breakdowns, but I have had things happen I thought would never be possible.

    You look really nice Melanie,

    Love and blessings Olivia

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Olivia,

      awww sweetheart I love that you connected ins its me in these videos.

      That is so wonderful that you are clearing trauma and feeling more space and peace within.

      I so, agree wth you – I don’t think I would have lived without Quanta Freedom Healing, let alone be Thriving.

      I love your Quantum Truth focus, and I just know that for you the breakthroughs are going to become even more magical.

      It’s Quantum Law.

      Mel xo

      • jonassahlberg@hotmail.com'
        Olivia
        March 19, 2017

        Thank You Melanie,

        Olivia xx

  • dtdefrino@gmail.com'
    Agata
    March 18, 2017

    I’ve just had a breakthrough and I want to thank you for helping me. I have listening to you for almost a year and it took me a while to figure this out. I’ve gotten past blame and and trying to get through grief over who I’ve chosen in life. But it’s so much clearer to me now. I have realized that I have spent my life – as a compliant daughter and a career as a nurse and as the spouse of a narc, trying to please all others. To the point if which I don’t know how to or haven’t given myself permission to please myself. This is my inner trauma – fear of not pleasing others. It dominates everything. But that is sgifting and the light is coming on. Thank you so much Mel!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Agata,

      How wonderful that the light has switched on for you – and you now have the truth in your heart.

      This is so exciting for you Agata.

      Wishing you every success for your now imminent breakthrough to the True You.

      Now that you have had a glimpse, you’re meant to.

      Mel xo

  • wandrew42@aol.com'
    Andrew Williams
    March 18, 2017

    Dear Ms. Evans:
    “No one saves us but ourselves,
    No one can and no one may.
    We ourselves must walk the path
    Buddhas merely teach the way.
    By ourselves is evil done,
    By ourselves we pain endure,
    By ourselves we cease from wrong,
    By ourselves become we pure.”

    I’m sure you know these words, because your words embody this teaching. Through your work, and readings in cognitive therapy and my work in Alcoholics Anonymous (yes, I am an alcoholic) as well as books by Leo Buscaglia, Al Siebert and Martin Seligsman, I have finally realized that the problem lies within myself, but that there is NO BLAME attached to it. It is, simply, what it is, and will either be healed or continue to obstruct me from my truest self.

    I thank you so much for your video messages, delivered with such vibrancy and passion. I hope that all wounded souls like myself will find someone like you to help them grasp the truth of their internal misery, and take control of it, and take the power back that is theirs, that is their birthright. And, having done so, may they spread the healings outward to the world. “May 10,000 flowers bloom!”

    In love and light,
    Andrew Williams
    Fullerton, CA, USA, North America, Earth

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 18, 2017

      Hi Andrew,

      thank you for your lovely and thoughtful post.

      I don’t actually know those words – and rather than seeing these words as “teachings” – I actually see them as Universal Quantum Truths that are deeply known by all of us within our cellular DNA, it is just whether or not we have got enough of “ourselves” out of the way to hear (know) it.

      That is so powerful that you have realised the only thing to ever overcome is within ourselves … and that this is not about Blame.

      Blame is such a false premise that creates no change, growth or healing.

      You are so welcome Andrew, and thank you for being an evolving force of truth in our world.

      Light creates Light …profoundly.

      Keep doing that.

      Mel xo

  • Kristina_wright@yahoo.ca'
    Kristina
    March 19, 2017

    Thank you Melanie. Your teachings are inspirational!
    I am currently awaking to self love and healing. It is quite a journey with a lot of ups and downs but I believe it is saving my life!
    It is amazing to hear you say how we need to face our fears to truly heal! My biggest fear is to be alone and trying new things alone! I am looking forward to the day I break free from all of this trauma that is blocking me to move forward!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 19, 2017

      Hi Kristina,

      you are so welcome 🙂

      I love that you have turned inwards to yourself … it is how we save our Life.

      You so can Kristina find and release that associated trauma – and then I promise you, you will be free.

      Bless!

      Mel xo

  • fernandes.jasmin@rocketmail.com'
    Jasmin
    March 19, 2017

    Hi Melanie and community!
    I love you❤
    Melanie I completed my source healing and resolution on wanting to achieve clarity on what to do about my meningioma, have it removed or not or find some other divine solution. You were spot on! This one took me to a different level!!!you called it white hot core issue. You knew it😋
    So after less than a week of my ego wreathing it has taken me beautifully into a space of facing myself my own darkness no where to hide…cant blame anyone else (I tried trust me) so I get this on an organic level….it IS all about me. How empowering 🚀. Not about narc…so once again the timeliness is quantumly spot on for me (and others too😉)
    Mette I love you…you have such incredible pure childlike honest vibe about how you refer to your ego blocks. This made it easier for me to really let go and understand that we are often a small step away from freedom…as Abraham puts it…allowing…such a brilliant word.
    It is so inspiring to hear more details of how you overcame the grave symptoms…it really gives so much hope to all of us on this healing journey. I could picture you jumping in to the vibrant life in kosa mui. I sense I can do that too as I get glimpses with healing.

    I am looking forward to using NARP as it takes us to freer fuller expanded versions.
    Love and blessings
    Jasmin

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 19, 2017

      Hi Jasmin,

      I adore that you went for it!

      That is just so beautiful Jasmin that you fully faced and went through it to the other side … that is how we truly heal.

      Our biggest wounds hold the key to our greatest expansions.

      How wonderful you are excited to see where this journey can take you.

      So much love to you, and I know you are going to experience true radiance and freedom.

      Mel xo

      • fernandes.jasmin@rocketmail.com'
        Jasmin
        March 19, 2017

        Thank you Melanie xx

  • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
    Cassie
    March 21, 2017

    Melanie.
    My body shivered at the end when you said we all have a personal contribution to humanity. I have been through not only the Narc abuse but 3 major cancers and open heart surgery and I am still thriving……well getting there. But I have continually asked….What is my purpose hear on earth? Boy oh boy, I am scared I must admit! I am at a crossroads of new beginnings. I finally had the courage to move the Narc out of the house who has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. I no longer feel responsible to help him and am releasing the guilt from my body. My 4 boys are proud of me. sooooooooo for the first time in my 57 years (yes I am old too) I am not living like a puppet to a narcissist mother and a narcissistic husband. I too am going to really get to know me and I think I am going to like ME! I am a spunky one (which unfortunately comes with a stubborn ego.) But, to know I truly may have a meaningful contribution is so amazing. I pray my body is open enough to absorb God/Source/Light as I am meant to. I soooooooo appreciate your program. It was so delightful to hear how it was born!!!!! I hope I find my contribution.
    Much love,
    Cassie

    • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
      Cassie
      March 21, 2017

      *Well not so much Big on the ego part as Protective of such a long time line of abuse and trauma giving way to false beliefs and survival programs.

  • mcnproperties@gmail.com'
    Sierra
    March 21, 2017

    Hi Melanie,
    I’ve been aware of your website and resources for sometime now. Five years ago I divorced a narcassistic man. The divorce was very difficult and painful for me and my children. I beleive to try to continue to exercise his torment and control over me, he tried to get custody of our 3 children even though I was a stay at home mom and their primary care giver, for the majority of their lives. After he insisted our children be dragged through the court system in his attempt to get custody, thankfully I was still awarded custody. Moving forward 5 years later, I know I made the right decision to leave him after 17 yrs of marriage. He was very cold hearted and harsh toward me and still responds to meven in this manner.
    My current issue is I attempted to start dating approximately 9 months ago. I had absolutely no male companionship after my divorce prior to this experience. I was not expecting to fall for this new man in the manner in did. He emotionally connected with me in a manner that was so foreign to me, since I never received any form of emotional connection with my ex husband. It felt very good to me and I attached quickly. I thought he attached to me , but after about 4-5 months he started to tell me he didn’t want a relationship with me. He continued to call and hang out sometime, but kept telling me he didn’t want to be in a “relationship ” with me. I liked him alot, and for a while kept seeing him on his “friends” term. 2 months ago, I just stopped reaching out after a disagreement and he barely contacted me back, so pretty much it ended. I am so hurt and miss him badly. We used to speak everyday often 4-5 times a day. He was smart, creative, extremely successful in his own right and helpful to me. I’m not saying he was perfect, because he wasn’t. He was moody and sometimes mean. Above all, he just didn’t want me as a partner. It made me feel sooooo bad, but I still hung on for a while. I now realize that I reinjured myself emotionally through this experience. Ive read some of your resources and realize that I still have alot of inner work to do in myself. I am extremely depressed and filled with shame. On top of never really recovering financially, career wise (I was just fired from job) , and confidence is non existent, after my divorce, now I’m heartbroken too. My question for you is where do I start to begin self partnering and start healing myself. I’ve attempted many times to heal things in my life but to no avail. I either don’t keep the motivation, or it just doesn’t seem to work out for me. Since I’m not working my finances are very low (unfortunately the story of my life). Where can I begin? Sorry so long…

  • mibadoda@gmail.com'
    Miba
    March 21, 2017

    Ahhh I was finally able to watch it (i.e. technical issues).

    Thanks for the boost. I love what you said about us all having something to contribute to the world. That’s a great reminder.

    I have some ideas for the future in this regard 🙂 …

    PS looking radiant, friend!

  • annawolfe226@hotmail.com'
    Anna Wolfe
    March 27, 2017

    Hi Mel, so glad you posted this one, I have definitely felt I was too old to recover. I joined about one year ago and tried to do some of the QFH, but as I was just finishing my last taper off of psych meds I felt so drained and exhausted that I gave up on it. Anyway it is a year later I am still off the meds and I am still NC with N#3, this week I am quitting coffee and I am ready to start again with QFH. I have a long abuse history in childhood and adulthood both but since I am still alive, I am 59, it seems to me I should really try to make the best of it, right?

    • valpal@rogers.com'
      Valerie Palmer
      May 22, 2017

      dear Anna,

      NEVER GIVE UP!! I am 73 and am on the healing journey with Mel program! After trying many things over the years I had almost given up. And, just like Mel, ended up at the Psyche hospital. Like Mel, I too also asked for help, it was hard as ‘religious’ indoctrination was part of my childhood. Tremendous fear about GOD. But I too asked for help from my guides and angles! I had given up the LOA because I was afraid to go back into the wounds because of the teachings. Within days of returning to Ester Hicks You Tube, I found Mel. I took the free workshop, well I almost instantly felt a shift! I know that I still have many more shifts to experience as my resistance has been very strong. We set these things up to protect ourselves as children but they work against us when we are adults. Take care and know you are on the right path, just as I know.

      Love and Light my friend. Val

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