Melanie Tonia Evans

This Discovery Put My Recovery Into The Fast Lane

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 7
37
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

This is quite the Quantum Episode!

Because it is a deep dive into True Selves and False Selves and how True Love and False Love works.

Many, many spiritual teachers have been teaching us for decades … how we have all been looking for love in the wrong places.

This is profound when you start to peel it back and understand it at a deeper level.

As an adult we all have a unique Inner Being composition – which is the programming within us that were created from our genetic makeup and our childhood experiences.

For many of us, our composition was not conditioned healthily, and we were not able to become within ourselves a solid state of self-love, self-approval, self-security and self-survival.

These are inevitable symptoms of not being whole … and as an adult, until we can awaken, we will subconsciously try to seek the people and situations who will grant what it is that is still missing.

The problem with this is … every time we try to have it from an inner place of not Being it, we can only ever get more of the experience of not having it.

This episode is all about exactly HOW the narcissist positions themselves as “Our Source”, the exact person to provide us with the components we subconsciously feel are missing within ourselves.

And … exactly how that plays out in relation to those parts of us which are not yet whole.

This was a key discovery in my own journey that allowed me to see the truth of what was really going on and quite literally put my recovery into the fast-lane.

I really hope the understandings I share in this episode give you that special ‘aha’ moment I had when I discovered this myself.

If you have any questions or anything you would like to share about this episode I’d love to answer them personally! Just leave me a comment below.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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37 Thoughts on This Discovery Put My Recovery Into The Fast Lane
  • krissyargyle@gmail.com'
    winter
    May 19, 2017

    Hi Mel,
    I am over looking to get what I want from a narcissist and am giving it to myself now by self partnering.How about in a healthy relationship how do you ask for what you want and need and make sure the person has the capavity to give it to you? How does that work? How do we ever trust people again and how does the health and finances recover.How long to reverse the damages.I am out of narc radar for good now but still want alot out of life and love.Thank you for your great work.Do these narcissisys ever get karma.They seem like they get away with everything and we suffer.Not that I care I just want to rebuild my life better than it was before this happened its been torn down along time.
    Thank you very much for all your help.

    • Loredana6@aol.com'
      Lori
      May 19, 2017

      Profound!!! THAT was the A-Ha moment for me. Everything just became SO clear. Thank you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2017

      Hi Winter,

      I have created quite a few articles on this topic … if you google my name + relationships … you will find them.

      There is so much more information there that will help than what I could type to you here.

      Also I have done stuff on “trust” that you will find on google searches too …

      I promise you Winter, when you do the inner healing you will not care what does or doesn’t happen to the N … the NARP Program shifts you way past that – as well as heals the other things you are talking about – if you work it.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      Also this article may help in regard to the N “having a great life” https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/has-the-narcissist-really-moved-on-and-having-a-great-life/

      I hope the resources help, and sending you healing and blessing.

      And please know you are so welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

  • debbieswarrior@gmail.com'
    debbie warner
    May 19, 2017

    I got out of a 30 year relationship with a narcissist and while challenging, didn’t get horrific until the last two years. After an absolute horrid divorce, followed by a codependent, short-lived relationships, I learned to self partner and heal, in large party to Mel’s quantum healing workshops. I am an intelligent college professor and writer, so to put myself through this grueling experience made me take a hard look at my frequency and how I feel about myself. Now, I am in a healthy relationship and still digging out of the financial abuse and devastation left by my abusive relationship. Kids, relatives and friends will never understand what I went through, but this no longer matters. As long as I am healthy and healing, I am focused on myself and my recovery. There is live after narcissism and there are nice men out their who truly care and celebrate a strong woman, as long as you know you deserve itQ

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2017

      Hi Debbie,

      That is so wonderful you are healing you way up and out and onwards!

      Kudos to you Dear Lady.

      Mel xo

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    May 19, 2017

    Great reminder! Thank you!

  • katjababei1@gmail.com'
    Kat
    May 19, 2017

    What you say is all true, Melanie.

    My ex did all those things- professing to be my ‘Other’ and picking up on my unheard parts- then began setting about trying to make a mess of me.

    Actually, I was thrown a life raft and began to realise even within the relationship that he wasn’t shiny or valuable ( I’d realised there was something terribly toxic about him and no longer blamed myself), that relying on myself and doing what I loved was far more important to me.

    What did he do? He ran for the hills.

    It still took me a long time to recover. I was diagnosed with PTSD etc. But I am at that point now where It’s lovely knowing I can just ‘Be’ all I need and that everything falls into place as a result of that authenticity and self-partnering.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2017

      Hi Kat,

      That is great that you are out and connecting to you – and please know truly PTSD does not have to be your reality.

      I’d love you to come into my next free Workshop so that you can experience how to heal from that …

      This is how to sign up – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      Because it is so tough living with PTSD and such a relief when all the trauma within us that is triggering is gone …

      I hop this can help …

      Mel xo

  • shanisuttie@bigpond.com'
    Shani
    May 19, 2017

    Hi Melanie
    Thank you once again for sharing your wisdom, I have been shifting into self partnering and wanted to share something that happened to me whilst in the shop yesterday. I was complimented by one of the workers in the shop about how brightly I shone and that he didn’t often see that around anymore, I had a long conversation with him about awakening and consciousness and after about 5 minutes I left. When I returned to my car, I tuned into my body and I could feel the electric charge there in my body because this good looking male had given me attention. I dissolved into tears. I felt disappointed and almost angry that it was still there, I have done so much work around this and yet it is still with me. I know I have to be gentle and patient but I was shocked to see it still there.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2017

      Hi Shani,

      it’s my pleasure 🙂

      Awww I love that you are shining outwards – it IS so apparent when we are radiant 🙂

      Please know Shani when we can bless and accept EVERY feeling – then all we need to do is shift the next trauma that has appeared … all we need to do is go inwards, pick it up spiral it out and replace it with our super conscious self .. and then we have just freed ourselves to the next Highest versions of ourselves.

      This is a blessing – truly – it is showing you what needs to be released for you to step into your true Life and New Self and True Love.

      Embrace this gift – truly – it is the Thriver Way.

      Mel xo

  • adeltripura@yahoo.com.au'
    Trish
    May 19, 2017

    Hi Melanie, I admire the way you can explain complex concepts so clearly and this one goes straight to the core issue, its a life work discovering all the way I judge, shame and abandon myself and turn it around to love, acceptance and self care instead. The biggest step I think is just giving yourself permission to provide these positive things for yourself, we are so conditioned to seek it outside, its such a relief (a bit overwhelming at first also) to realise the power is within to completely turn things around. I’m so grateful for your teachings, they are way ahead of many other psychological resources out there.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2017

      Hi Trish,

      thank you and I adore the way you have verbalised your journey.

      It is profound, deep and soulful.

      Awww I agree when we turn inwards there is the “home” that we have been looking for our entire life – and THEN we start generating real love and connection on the outside as well!

      Thank you for your gorgeous words and acknowledgment Trish!

      Mel xo

  • camillajmartin@gmail.com'
    Camilla
    May 19, 2017

    Beautiful. Thank you so much for this ♡

  • fernandes.jasmin@rocketmail.com'
    Jasmin
    May 19, 2017

    Beautiful indeed! That was uplifting and golden glow aura surrounding your being and the words resounding within the glow. Yay!
    I started on empowered self course couple of days ago, taking me to the next level. Thank you gorgeous Melanie xoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2017

      Hi Jasmin,

      Thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed it!

      Awwww …. Bless 🙂

      So much love …

      Mel xo

  • julietbutler@yahoo.co.uk'
    Juliet
    May 19, 2017

    Hi Melanie,
    Wow, what an amazing blog today, it just seemed to sum up everything you are teaching us. All SO true and helpful. I couldn’t find a transcript so I wrote it myself and will keep re-reading as healing doesn’t happen overnight. I had a narc father and codependent mum, then went into a horrific 20 year marriage with a narc/psychopath (diagnosed by a psychiatrist, not of course that he accepted it) followed by another narc marriage and then, perhaps most devastating of all a narc lover. Just as you say it was like I was digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole of self loathing and abuse by choosing these men over and over again until I had a suspected brain bleed and realised if I didn’t do something NOW I would end up dead. That’s when I went to Australia to visit my daughter and discovered YOU! Now, having done the NARP course I am thriving. And happily co-partnering. Keep spreading the word Melanie – the narc/co dependent situation in the world needs you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2017

      Hi Juliet,

      I am so pleased it all made sense to you!

      Now beautiful that you have worked NARP and healed you!

      Thank goodness Juliet and the cycle has ended for you.

      You so deserve this beautiful lady.

      Mel xo

  • tricote73@mail.com'
    Trina
    May 20, 2017

    What a wonderful episode! You’ve really summed it all up so well Melanie- thank you for this much needed reminder. I’ve been working the NARP program and have noticed significant changes, though I know there’s much more to excavate. My inner critic still holds much power, even over my healing efforts. Is there a way to target the inner critic specifically? Have you talked about this already, and if not, could you? Many thanks and blessings. xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2017

      Hi Trina,

      I am so pleased you enjoyed it!

      It’s my pleasure Trina … Trina truly all you need to do is target “the inner critic” specifically – like all our charges … “where in your body does it light up – that dense energy when you feel into it?” and then take the NARP Module work from there.

      Module 1 … especially the shortened version, and the Goal Setting Modules, are very effective for any “state” that you wish to shift.

      I hope this helps.

      Also please know you can always get help in the NARP Forum as a continual resource to help you with your Shifting.
      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      Mel xo

  • llcburch@gmail.com'
    Lorie
    May 20, 2017

    That episode was fabulous!! You have such a gift. Every time I hear or read some profound nugget of info from you I can’t help but think………and I apologize ahead of time for this…….thank God, the universe, or a higher power that you were narcisstically abused! Without that WE wouldn’t have the gift of your wisdom. Thank you for sharing. You have been such a HUGE part of my journey and healing! I had such a long way to go at first and thought I would die in the beginning. Now…..HA!! I shine!!
    Thank you Mel

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2017

      Hi Lorie,

      thank you for your lovely words!

      I concur sweetheart – personally absolutely that experience has led me to the happiest place I could possible be, and I feel so blessed and humble to be able to help others.

      I love that you are shining!!

      Shine On Dear Lay 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Jupitersun@hushmail.com'
    Joni
    May 20, 2017

    Thank you dearest Mel! This was a great video and perfect to reaffirm what I experienced and my new incredible reality in which I feel better , more confident, and more beautiful than I ever have in my life. I am 57, and feel actually young and healthy , because when I was chronologically young I was so emotionally unhealthy and Intertwined with the narcissist that I Actually felt old at 25. So, I’m writing this to anyone who feels too old to have a great life …age doesn’t matter! Thanks again Mel, and I loved your sweatshirt today . Very cool .

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2017

      Hi Joni,

      it is my absolute pleasure!

      I am SO thrilled for you 🙂

      Thank you for your beautiful message to all, and myself – it is SO true!

      Mel xo

  • Klchieri@yahoo.com'
    Karenlynn
    May 20, 2017

    31 years of no love from, my husband who never gave me any feedback good or bad, someone who on the outside gives and gives and still is the same to everyone else. I still don’t understand how I could accept that this was ok!!!

    I am understanding all the things that I am doing right now have to stop. The contact, the internet searching for narcissism, the caring about everything he does and telling my stupid story to anyone who will listen. It is just so damn hard.

    • nanckitty@yahoo.com'
      Nancy
      May 21, 2017

      Dear Karenlynn,

      I truly feel for your pain. Letting go contains so much grief for all the unfulfilled longing and for all the investment of years of life and in some cases has a huge impact on financial well-being. Blaming avoids that pain. It is very tempting to get stuck in that painful story, which contains much truth and expresses unmet needs and losses and pain and the anger and frustration of so much suffering. Hope of recovering financially may also stand in the way of letting go. More years of pain and loss and even bitterness can result without ever meeting those needs. Melanie provides resources for the inner work to turn this around in good time, which depends on the person and situation, (and perhaps this work may do so). Meanwhile, nitty gritty daily details and decisions with consequences are involved, which can be overwhelming and terribly difficult and can involve further losses. I want to support you that nothing about this is easy. It is a very difficult choice. It can rip a person apart. I hear you that you are in pain. I hear you that it is just so damn hard to let go.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2017

      Hi Karenlynn,

      My heart goes out to you …

      At the beginning it is unfathomable, but I promise you there is a way forward.

      It takes deeply understanding how and why this has happened …at the starting point – and I’d love to offer you my free resources to start granting you understanding and relief.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage

      Mel xo

  • fortunejoy@outlook.com'
    Jude Mendelsohn
    May 21, 2017

    Thank you So much Mel,
    This us Exactly what my soul/Spirit has needed and I cannot wait to read it now..Ypu have answered my prayer to “Get it” …all my confusions and the ACCEPT it to heal. Bless you. Love JessM (“Jude”)
    xx ❤

  • Elaine@elainegantzwright.com'
    Elaine
    May 21, 2017

    Wow. One I’d your most salient and profound messages to date. Be the change — from the inside out. The energetic shift you describe is so real. I have experienced this and the relief of quantum healing.

  • mailmuralinaidu@gmail.com'
    Murali
    May 23, 2017

    My Little Story:
    *Craved for my mom’s love all my life, but never got it from her,found out that she’s is a Narc, it was tough, but it is what it is.
    *Traveled half way around the world found The full blown NARC for me, married her, craved for her love, but didn’t get any real love, same like my mom.
    *Attracted many Narc Friends, it took 10 years to get rid of some, still going on, but going excellent.
    *One of my NARC friend told me that my wife is a NARC, took me 9 months to believe it, finally i did.
    *Found Melanie on Youtube, one video, instant connection, emotional, spiritual and logical satisfaction, instant Decision to start NARP.
    *Found out that my weakness are all rooted in my childhood: i was always compared to others and i was called a failure from a very young age, in my entire life i never got a praise or a compliment from my parents, when i was young i remember many things like: My parents saying they should have killed me when my mom was pregnant with me.The thing is i don’t even have anger towards my parents now, they are unconscious and ignorant people.I have love for them but from a distance.
    *Realized i need to pick myself high with my full strength and heal myself, decided anything interfering my healing process, without hesitation, renounce it immediately that may be friendships, family, people, situations anything, my healing is my priority.
    *So far it is going excellent, nature and birds are big help in my life.
    *Suggestion for my lovely fellow NARPER’s: Try practicing Meditation and undivided attention in everything you do, Observe yourself doing whatever you are doing, Please be easy on yourself at the start, you are lovely and unique never forget that.
    Thank you Melanie for everything, you rock!!

  • leearna@gmail.com'
    leearna
    May 31, 2017

    Hi Mel, I have a question that plays on my mind – the narcissistic has MANY good people in his web – how can this be?

  • mzr8184@kc.surewest.net'
    Judy
    June 5, 2017

    I commend to you on having courage and accomplished hard work…a lifetime of work in progress. My daughter is soon to deliver a beautiful baby boy. Sonograms are great. She has been married to a narc prepatrator (tell tale smirk) for almost 12 years. You don’t jave to look for trouble. Trouble will find you. I suppose that she will eventually divorce him. She has given him all of her money. She is “carrying him.” She has her paycheck deposited into the “joint account” aka his account. I tried to place some sense into her head up until her wedding day. Hopefully the baby will be psychologically okay. I am a worrier. I have had a “no contact” in place on him, his Mother, my sister and her evil family…fueled by envy….My pain is their happiness.

    You’ll be in my prayers. May I ask you to pray for us, too?
    Thanks !

  • beth.streeter@gmail.com'
    Beth
    June 18, 2017

    Mel,

    Thank you so much for your work! It has been immensely helpful during this incredibly painful time of separating from the narcissist and wondering why I cannot stop wanting him back.

    I have a question for you in regards to our “emotional programming”… You say we inherit a good deal of this from our parents before we are even born, and then early life experiences reinforce these genetics and our emotional programming. How is it that I can be one of three siblings, raised by the same parents, in the same household, with many of the same early traumas, and it appears that I am the only of the three children to have been so drastically affected by these experiences and heritage?

    Thank you,
    Beth

  • ingridfvh9@gmail.com'
    Ingrid Fischer
    July 5, 2017

    I am so grateful!, Melanie. I have been studying New Thought Religions etc for a long time, and nothing worked. I even received training in Quantum Modality. I am now grieving also after the death of my second husband.
    What did NOT work for me in the Love, Health and Wealth Revolution is the marketing aspect. Before I knew it my iTunes library was filled with more mp 3’s and energy processes than I could afford . Al these “special packages” , –now we are a New Age Consumer market.

    What I DEEPLY appreciate is your insight that abuse comes with enormous financial losses, and we also need a support group. You go right to the point. Deep down inside we feel we are “bad” or have been “bad” in past lives. Our religions have been so about being “good” or “bad” so some of pur parents ( mine) threw them out to pare their children such fearful, hell and brim stone religions. But they passed it on anyway. Now the New Age gives relief , except it becomes overwhelming and for the very rich who can go meditate on retreats in expensive retreat centers, and who can afford Holistic MD who cannot not accept insurance. YOU are getting it. Thank you. Hugs, Ingrid

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