Melanie Tonia Evans

What Is The Fate Of A Narcissist?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 8
101
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

I know how shocking it feels to see a narcissist get away with it.

Here you are traumatised, and shredded bare of your health, happiness, and resources … and the narcissist is prancing off into the sunset with their brand new life as if you never existed.

Naturally, it is beyond devastating to believe maybe there isn’t a compassionate Creator or a healthy natural order of things.

Are we really in an upside-down universe, where bad people and bad behaviour are rewarded and it’s the good people who get hurt and destroyed?

Do narcissists get to live out the rest of their days, destroying lives, without ever being rebuked or karma serving them their just deserts?

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I share with you the truth about all of this – how, despite how it seems, there is a benevolent Universe which grants us immense spiritual compensation for all that we have lost, and divine retribution to narcissists – without us even having to do anything to make that happen.

 

Transcript

Ok, so there are two big sides of this … regarding the wondering what will be the fate of the narcissist.

The first one, which is about the terrible injustice we suffer regarding what happens to the narcissist after decimating our life so horrifically.

The second is this angle, which also plagues people significantly: the concern about the fate of the narcissist from the viewpoint of not being able to rescue them from the terrible fate of a False Self.

Many people, who have recognised the terrible disordered self that the narcissist is, hate the thought of how they will end up as result. For those people, please know I am going to address this for you as well.

So … in this episode, it is my greatest desire to help you move out of the trauma and into peace and the bigger picture in regard to ‘what is the fate of the narcissist’. And that’s really important, because I promise you it is an integral key to your recovery journey.

Okay … let’s just dive straight in and see where this takes us …

The burning question people ask is this: Does karma pay the narcissist back for what they do. My answer to that is ‘Yes’. Then people ask, ‘When is it going to happen?’ And I answer them with: ‘It is happening to them every second of their very existence, every day.’ Then people look at me like I am an alien and say to me, ‘But he /she got the house, the cars. He / she has the money, the lifestyle, a new lover and now I’m alone, can’t even work and can barely put food on the table.’

Please know this: the happiness in our lives, none of it, has anything to do with what we are ‘getting’ or what we have ‘got’. That’s an illusion.

And before you think I’m just giving you some sort of fluffy ‘love and light’ New Age speech, I want to challenge you to feel into this deeper as I explain it to you.

Happiness only is to do with who we are Being. Truly prosperous people in the world have the richest Beingness, which actually has nothing to do with what they do or don’t have.

There are multi-millionaires who have an incredibly healthy Beingness, and there are people with no money at all, who also have abundantly prosperous Beingness.

Incredibly rich people can be destitute at this level. Narcissists are totally destitute at this level, because there is NO Beingness. I mean that literally, there is no True Self at home within a narcissist.

And I can almost hear the questions that this is bringing up for you. You may be thinking, ‘Melanie right now … well I’m miserable, I’m destitute on all levels, and I am certainly not having happiness or prosperity on any level. What are you saying about my Beingness?’

What I am saying – or getting to – is that you have the ability to heal your Beingness. YOU can heal yourself, by releasing your internal trauma, into a consciousness and alignment where not only will your Beingness start to flourish, but also where you will be able to get anything you want. And this won’t be as a result of trying to create your Beingness, but because these things are a healthy expansion and extension of your already established Beingness. And then … no matter whether you obtain modest or grand things, you will deeply love and appreciate them.

Here’s one of the most important things to understand when we make our Beingness reliant on False Sources – meaning people and things outside our relationship with ourselves and our Higher Power – we will never love, appreciate or be appeased with who or what we have.

That is precisely the narcissists never ending pure living hell: no matter what I get my ego will eventually be bored with it, find fault with it and need something better to replace it.

Imagine this for a moment, thinking that you had found the thing or person to finally take away the screams coming up from an empty, terrible gaping hole inside you, then being high as a kite with the relief from that pain, and then discovering that band-aid falls off and the inner screams are back again.

That is the narcissist’s real-life nightmare. This is why they are SO happy with any new source of narcissistic supply – whether it be a new lover, new car or new mansion. Then those things all sooner or later become lifeless annoyances again. Not attractive enough, not expensive enough, not grand enough. Someone else has got a better version than the narcissist. That is the plight of the walking dead. That is why the narcissist must consume, and steal energy, resources and people’s life-blood constantly.

Think about this: why is there so many rich and famous people who suffer from chronic depression, substance addiction and suicide? My opinion is, despite having it all, they have never found durable peace and happiness, which they thought stuff, money and privileges would provide.

These people who have tragically ended their lives, or substance abused themselves to obliteration, (yes narcissists do this too) may or may not have been narcissists – but the following I believe is true. If there was any True Self left within, and they had met it and healed it back to wholeness, they could have had true prosperity and radiated from within the joy of the life they lived.

In real life terms, sitting back here observing so many real results in regard to Thriver’s lives and narcissists, this I see always: the people who were abused by narcissists, who are determined to heal, and take their focus off what the narcissist is or isn’t doing, and who or what he or she is or isn’t having … to do that … regularly speak of the narcissist coming undone, being caught out, unravelling and then having court rulings against them. These people take back their power with the narcissist being unable to effect them anymore.

Dr. Christiane Northrup and I spoke about that in my interview with her on Hay House this week, about how in this Community, more and more people report that narcissists are losing court battles against them, and getting their just deserts.

I truly believe this is more to do with the person reporting this, and their Beingness, than the narcissist coping their karma … and please let me explain why.

The Universal system of Life, whether you want to call it God, Source, Creation or Consciousness, I believe works like this: ‘I am giving you MORE of who you are Being.’

For us, if we are Being victimised, shell-shocked, resentful and devastated, the Universal cogs of life say ‘Okay Jo, Anne or Greg … I respond to your Beingness, here is MORE of who you are Being.’ And, naturally, everything we try to do just unfolds as more trauma and despair for us.

However, in the case of the narcissist, there is NO Beingness. There is no True Self home. It is curled up, shrivelled up and catatonic in the corner, because the narcissist divorced it long ago, and put the False Self in its place.

The narcissist’s entire life is a cartoon cut out – with stuff and things that can’t even be really felt or connected to, and nothing has ANY meaning other than feeding the significance of the True Self.

The narcissist is as disconnected to God / Source / Creation/ Consciousness as anything can be. The narcissist is a part of a rogue disorder which has no Consciousness energy system of its own. In short narcissism is a virus that is a law to itself and because it is disconnected form a Higher Source there is no ability to access joy, love and true lifeforce.

Higher Consciousness is not responding to the narcissist, he or she is doing it all to themselves, living in the reality of hell on earth, all by themselves, disconnected from the organic flourishing and nourishing of life, as a result of their choices to stay disconnected from that.

Ok, so why do narcissists take a real life fall? Why do they lose stuff, properties, access, rights, privileges, and power?

This happens when their victims heal and take their power back.

More and more every day now, people say that the karma bus has hit the narcissist. But truly it was their OWN good manifestation karma, because the narcissist – with no self – has no energy of their own.

I had a massage yesterday from a lovely lady, and she asked what I do for work. Then, she told me how her ex-narcissistic husband terrorised and hurt her and her children for thirteen years, and how she finally left him and worked hard on her healing.

When she became Anti- Fear (that’s my word by the way!) which is the ability to have zero fear or negative emotions about him whatsoever, she calmly and clearly took his threats to the court house and put an intervention order on him for her and her children. Then she calmly walked the straight line of having a parenting order created, which he refused to agree to (no surprise there) and he threatened her again by email. Again she presented that evidence and she was awarded full custody.

This is the deal with the narcissist having no true life-force of their own, they need your fear to hurt you. There don’t operate as a Consciousness Component and therefore Life is giving you more of your Being NOT theirs! (They don’t have a Being.)

As my massage lady said: ‘When I didn’t fear him he couldn’t do anything to me anymore.’ It looked like his karma bus came, but it was REALLY her True Self empowered up-levelling that was the creator of what happened. Because narcissists when they fall, crash heavily. We think it is karma, but I want you to think about this: we know there is no co-operation with narcissists, no mutual agreements or win-win outcomes– it’s an all or nothing deal. And when you heal and unleash your True Self into the equation – you must create so within, so without – your desires and healthy needs are met, and the narcissist loses out what they were trying to do – defeat you.

That’s the deal.

And what about narcissists as they age, what happens there? This parts happens all by themselves – absolutely.

Let me explain … when we consider the natural order of things, what happens without a true connection to life-force, love and joy? This: everything starts to breakdown. It’s exactly like any entity that is infected with a cancer. It is destroyed. The narcissist is infected with the False Self, the ego run amok, that is not only destroying the narcissist’s environment but also the narcissist.

I wrote about this years ago in my article written July 2012, Has The Narcissist Really Moved On and Having a Great Life?

 This is what this article said: ‘Narcissists get old and sick, they lose their looks, their charm and their charisma. They lose their formidable ability to seduce, dominate and intimidate people. They are not the immortal Gods they would like to think they are.

Eventually all narcissists end up facing their tormented self that they have made a lifelong career of avoiding.

Eventually, just like the picture of Dorian Gray one day the narcissist comes face to face with their most horrifying nightmare – the tortured self that no amount of avoidance, materiality, manipulation, exploits or lies could avoid.

They meet the real tortured self that bears no resemblance to the pathologically constructed False Self.’

Also, for those of you who are so upset – understandably – about the narcissist heading towards this fate in old age, I wrote another article in September 2015 called The Soul Contract With A Narcissist where I shared about my Life Between Lives session that revealed what souls are doing and where they end up, including the fate of narcissists.

I really would love you to check out that article, especially if you are heartbroken about what the narcissist’s fate is, as I know some of you … especially if the narcissist is your child, can be totally devastated because you are so worried for them.

In my LBL session, I discovered that there is only one place where souls ultimately go to – which is Oneness – which is Creations’ Love. We all go there to where we came from. Back to love. As I healed, this brought me so much comfort and joy to know that hurt people who hurt people, also receive love. We are all in this together, and those who need love the most, don’t go without. You will find the link to this video in the description.

So I hope that this episode today has helped you let go of putting your life on hold until the narcissist has got their karma, and allows you to accept that you can let go and allow the narcissist to be on their journey, no matter what it looks like.

Yesterday I sent an Instagram post that reflects this all perfectly, and what I talked about in it is this:

When we heal and become connected with our True Self and True Life we couldn’t care less if the narcissist wins lotto, dates a super model or owns all the tea in China – because we know they can never experience the Beingness we now have. And we don’t hold that up as a punishment to them, because as a True Self having a True Life we want that level of Beingness for everyone.

And we know everyone is going there one day – it may just not be this lifetime – because ultimately there is nowhere else to go.

So, I hope you enjoyed this video, and I’d love to have a discussion on this topic with you – so please scroll down and leave your comments and questions below.

Also, if you’d like to learn more about how to heal for real from toxic relationships and narcissistic abuse, you can sign up to my free 16-day recovery course, it includes an invitation to a healing workshop with me, a set of eBooks and lots more.

So until next time… keep healing, keep smiling and keep thriving because there’s nothing else to do.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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101 Thoughts on What Is The Fate Of A Narcissist?
  • Earthgirl0521@yahoo.com'
    Donna
    April 9, 2018

    Awesome Article!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Thank you Donna,

      I am so pleased you enjoyed it!

      Mel xo

      • Vannareisman@yahoo.com'
        Angela
        April 10, 2018

        Mel,

        You are so amazing!! Thank you for this video. So powerful and resounded with me in so many ways! The narc I know moved into my area hovering and let’s me know he’s a bar fly and I have come to such an incredible place of peace that I don’t even care any more! There was a time I would run to were I knew he was and now I just laugh and say I can’t live like that anymore and hope that he is happy enough. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing and thank you for reminding me of that! Best, Angela

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          April 10, 2018

          Hi Angela,

          that is wonderful that this resonated with you.

          How beautiful that you have peace of mind 🙂

          Bless you Lovely Lady!

          Mel xo

      • rlcvandijk1@gmail.com'
        Carolien
        April 15, 2018

        Hi sweet Melanie,

        I came across your articles and I must say that you really have received much insight (and the ability to put it into right words) about the subject of Narcissism.

        I read this article also, and have one small question:
        “Do you really believe ‘Narc-people’, who do Not repent (which is: Changing their mind about the ways of thinking and acting.. and turn around!) end up in the same place (after death) as people who have not been Evil in this world?

        (I have to ask you, because maybe I read it wrong..)

        I am a Christian (or really wish to be a real one!)…. and according to my God/Jesus.. Liars, Thiefs, Murderers, etc. will not END UP being with Him in His Home/Paradise/Heaven…. No sin can enter into His place…..

        I will keep believing Narc’s can change, because Brain Science tell us now, that we can wire out TOXIC Choices and Believes (as you know also) out of the brain…. But we have also have Received a Free Will……

        The price/wages for sin (hurting others!) is death, whether we believe it or not. Now or later on in time…

        Sickness (mentally or physically) if often a consequence of Toxic Thinking, so for many people they are paying a price in this life already, for not living after the Universal rules/laws God has given us. He has given us rules to Protect us and our well-being….. not to not let us have/do stuff of things…. But because He does Really LOVE us….

        Narc’s are slowly dying in this life already, because they ALWAYS CHOOSE WRONG… Being Selfish is having yourself as a god, whom you are constantly serving…
        God didn’t made us to be selfish and He HATES it……

        I come from Narc parents.. and some other Narc family-members….. Even though I don’t want to see them anymore in the state they are in now, I hope to see them later on in life, or past this life…. I know I need a Miracle, so that means I need to have a real big God at my side… (first of all to heal & second to see them come into Light with their wounds and needs…)

        How I wish you also spoke the Truth in this matter…. that everyone will enter into Oneness…. (which I clearly do believe is NOT reality or the Truth), but according to my God/Jesus not everyone wants to except Him as a Given Eternal Offering from God, for ALL their wickedness done in life, unto God.
        They refuse to be cleansed by His Blood, because most of all, they do not believe He is Real. And therefore they believe they can do ANYTHING they like and want, without believing they will be hold Accountable for their Thoughts & Actions in the end…..

        Sorry.. I wrote more then I thought I would. ( :

        Thank you for your time… and also a Big Thank you for everything you are exposing!

        I wish you ALL God/Jesus BEST for you! (Who is LOVE & true Wisdom in Person! I don’t say this from being taught, but from Real experiences.)

        ps: Sometimes, when I read your articles, I think you are very close to becoming a REAL Christian (not in Religious sense of the word, but in RELATIONSHIP with the REAL God/Jesus…..) ( :

        ps2: Maybe you do not read anything from the bible…. but 2 Timothy 3 you will find very very interesting, because it is all about Narcissism and a Warning to stay away from them…

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          April 16, 2018

          Hi Carolien,

          I have shared my beliefs and experiences. Naturally they are not everyone’s and I respect what anyone’s truth is for them.

          So many blessings and love to you.

          Mel xo

    • yamsmams69@yahoo.co.uk'
      era
      April 10, 2018

      wow, soaking up again like a sponge; thank you so much again for your timely & appropriate & supportive videos; so much powerful energy coming from a true source.., it truly changes thing when you look beyond into a higher level , can slip back into resentment etc but need these videos etc to keep us on track & focussed.

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        April 10, 2018

        Hi Era,

        the truth SO does set us free when we get to the higher perspective!

        I’m glad you feel that …

        So much love.

        Mel xo

  • Jessicafadem@yahoo.com'
    JL
    April 9, 2018

    Thank you! I’m having trouble healing, after 7 months I’m still hurt and upset. We have a 5 year old together and he won’t even communicate about our son, not even when there is a problem. We still exchange and he mostly honors his visitation times, but any interaction is just ugly. I’ve reached out to try to get to a better place to coparent, he’s given me no reasonable avenues. We haven’t had a real conversation in 5 months and is seemingly happy with his new girlfriend and her child. They started dating almost immediately after our split. No texts calls or emails unless it’s on his terms. I hired a lawyer, who sent him a proposal he never responded to. I’ve asked my lawyer to file but really I don’t know what to do. I don’t want it to be like this….and of course part of me still loves the man I thought he was, I’m afraid to have to go through this cold treatment for his childhood. While I don’t want to see him hurt (or maybe part of me does), I don’t want to see him rewarded for his shitty behavior, so thank you for this article, gives me gratification. If you have any advice for this situation please help, I feel like this is eating me alive.

  • Jlmaples247@msn.com'
    jess
    April 9, 2018

    Thanks Mel, you described me perfectly. And I want some justice! I’m trying to me go. These talks help. Reminds me what he is and that he is not happy instead of thinking he was just not happy or nice to ME!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Jess,

      it’s my pleasure and I am so pleased this has helped.

      Mel xo

    • algonquinn88@gmail.com'
      Janet
      April 9, 2018

      I spoke with a psychic and she told me he was the same man as he has always been…so no changes and he doesn’t protect the new woman anymore than he did me..he protects himself…he doesn’t know what true love is. For now it’s okay to feel happy about that..not just sad or empathetic anymore as empathy is wasted on them

  • brewer.asha67@gmail.com'
    Asha
    April 9, 2018

    Loved this video! Your comment about the karma bus going to the wrong address cracked me up! I know I’m healing when something that once felt devastating and unfair now seems comical. It feels so good to be getting stronger and clearer. Thank you for everything you do!

    • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
      Cathy
      April 9, 2018

      Too funny Asha I was typing the same thing simultaneously!!!! The “Karma Bus”!!!!!!!

      • brewer.asha67@gmail.com'
        Asha
        April 9, 2018

        I know right! LOL! Cathy I actually played it a couple of times. Was even funnier the second time! She said it so matter of factly I almost missed it. I so love how gentle Mel can be. It was a nightmare to feel like the universe had sent me the wrong karma bus and sent my karma bus to the narc. Now I just can’t stop laughing. That such a good sign!

        • lydiachikumbi@gmail.com'
          lydia
          April 9, 2018

          kikikiki…me laughing!

    • algonquinn88@gmail.com'
      Janet
      April 9, 2018

      I so agree….i believe one is on their way when it becomes comical…it’s been 9 years for me. It’s different for all of us…any kind of grief is…letting go and stepping fully into our own light.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Asha,

      I agree – it does get to become hilarious when the inner trauma has gone 🙂

      I am so happy for you that you are there!

      Mel xo

  • Cathydmagee@icloud.com'
    Cathy
    April 9, 2018

    Brilliant!
    Yet another example of your gift of the manner in which you so succinctly identify, present and explain complex concepts.

    The “Karma Bus” went to the wrong address! LOL LOL
    Much love and admiration,
    Cassie

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Thanks Cassie!!

      Beautiful that you are on the other side as well, to laugh.

      Bless you for your lovely comment and please know I am so grateful for you too.

      Mel xo

  • Moorejayden.94@gmail.com'
    Jayden
    April 9, 2018

    I loved this! I’ve been struggling occasionally with how everyone else is blinded by my narcissistic ex and wondering when his true colours would be seen. Someone once told me the best thing I could do is succeed because there’s no better revenge. Thank you for the video, as it’s shown me that I’m on the right path to recovery. I tried to tell him “happiness comes from within” and “you need to love yourself before you can truly love someone else” of course, he believed I was wrong. Do they ever realize what they did and/or change?

  • tanjathomas456@gmail.com'
    Tanja
    April 9, 2018

    When I let go of my ex, I let go of him, his life and anything else by that had to do with him. I didn’t care about him anymore. If his karma bus come to him then that is on him. I just know that he have to answer for his narcissistic ways and it not for me to sit around and see what happens. As long as I have breath in my body, my life still goes on. The only karma right now I know of him is that he don’t have me in his life anymore.

    • brewer.asha67@gmail.com'
      Asha
      April 9, 2018

      Right on Tanja!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Tanja,

      I love your attitude – wonderful, powerful detachment.

      Thrive On Dear Lady!

      Mel xo

    • lydiachikumbi@gmail.com'
      lydia
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Tanja

      I could not agree more with you. I recall when I relocated to a different country I was soo fearful and kept looking on my shoulders. Now that I’m healing and beginning to thrive, I care less about his life and focus more on mine. It’s such a relief knowing he will never have me as his supply

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        April 9, 2018

        Hi Lydia,

        how beautiful that you are detached.

        That’s where freedom and lifeforce begins! Bless 🙂

        Mel xo

    • leahkent12345@gmail.com'
      Leah
      April 10, 2018

      Tanja – I couldn’t agree more. I’m at the beginning of the other side with my ex after 3 children (one terminally ill) and 16 years of abuse. His karma is that we are no longer a part of his life, and our life is beautiful – challenging, but beautiful.

  • Lindacohen6115@gmail.com'
    Linda
    April 9, 2018

    I didn’t even know what true narcissism was all about until I met my ex. Such a sad sad world for them. I’m happy to say,that after 2 years of really working inyself, I don’t really care what is fate is….I only care about mine!

    Epitat for a narcissist: date of birth. Date of death. Nothing else really in between.

    Melanie, thank you for this video. Makes me want to really focus on a good and happy life where my legacy will be written differently. So much to do, many people to truly love, help and guide. I love my life. Thank you!!!!

    • algonquinn88@gmail.com'
      Janet
      April 9, 2018

      Omg I love the epitat…lol…now that is priceless!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Awww Linda,

      your post is so inspiring and uplifting!

      LOVE it!!

      You nailed it!

      Mel xo

  • johanne1@westnet.com.au'
    Johanne
    April 9, 2018

    So inspiring Melanie!

    I was the product of narcissistic abuse by my father and as an adult I didn’t believe I would ever be happy or that I deserved anything good in life. My life was a long dark night of the soul. Since doing your course a few years ago and listening to your radio broadcasts, my life has transformed and I’m now happily living my dream. Thank you!!!

    Interesting that you should mention the fate of the abusers and the realm of oneness. My father passed away from cancer about twenty years ago. Three years after he died I happened to be having some psychic healing. The healer said, “I don’t usually do this, but someone is coming through for you.” It was my father with a message. He wanted to tell me that he suffered so much for what he did and that he was so sorry. He also said he forgave me, which related to my childhood outbursts of frustration and anger.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Johanne,

      Thank you and I am so happy for you that you have broken through! We all deserve to be living our dreams!

      Please know you are so welcome 🙂

      Awww what an incredible message for your father on the other side. I bet that was very healing for you.

      So much love to you 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Sharon.williams@shaw.ca'
    Sharon
    April 9, 2018

    My ex narcisst got married within 16 months after he discarded me. I have heard through a family member that he is on long term disablility from work with symptoms of fatigue, dizziness and headaches. His new wife has also been sick. I do now believe in karma. I don’t for one second believe narcs realize the hurt and destruction of their behaviour. God has given me a huge gift by getting me away from him as hard and painful as the journey has been. I do truly feel compassion for the new wife though, hope she gets out soon before her health is totally ruined!
    Sharon

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Sharon,

      that is so great that you are out and not going down with that ship 🙂

      Mel xo

  • bertolamir@hotmail.com'
    R
    April 9, 2018

    Great article, Melanie.
    So it is your true belief that everything or everyone “gets old” so to speak with the narcissist? I think it’s very difficult to not find yourself comparing yourself to the new person in their life. I’m not certain, but my gut tells me there is someone new or someone else. My mind tells me to go with my gut (because this person has done this once before, as a fact) and stop seeing this person who truly a malignant narcissist…but as you know…your heart can’t quite make that move.

    • algonquinn88@gmail.com'
      Janet
      April 9, 2018

      I understand that as I did compare myself with the woman he is going to marry…I take strength in knowing that she can’t be a strong woman…that sadly she has to be a bit of a doormat with low expectations and will in time see more of his true self as time marches on…intially I was hurt but am no longer…I do believe after 9 years better things await my life and they will yours.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi R,

      thank you and I am glad you liked it.

      This video of mine may help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c_u_CwYIe8

      It truly is about coming home into our own body and healing ourselves – then those questions truly, R, become irrelevant.

      I can help you with that: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      I hope this helps,

      Mel xo

  • sharon.reevelamesa@gmail.com'
    Sharon Reeve
    April 9, 2018

    Thank you for this from the bottom of my heart! No truer words have been spoken about narcissists. It does my heart good to know I can heal and I will, and that is the best outcome after years of narcissistic abuse.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      H Sharin,

      it’s my pleasure.

      Sending incredible blessings and healing to you.

      Mel xo

  • aas905@uowmail.edu.au'
    Angie
    April 9, 2018

    The stronger and more successful and happier you become the more it tortures the narc. So live up and be your best self without them!

  • heinz@columbiawireless.ca'
    Heinz
    April 9, 2018

    Thank you, Melanie, I totally agree, especially what you said about the aging narcissist. I would under no circumstances want to be at the place that the narcissist is. Only hell!

  • Roslyn.hawkins86@gmail.com'
    Roslyn
    April 9, 2018

    Hi Melanie,

    I’ve been following you for several years. I found you, thankfully, while searching the Internet about the seemingly evil and inhuman traits my ex-fiance exhibited. I was actually feeling suicidal.

    In the beginning, he was very quiet, shy and reserved. I wasn’t interested nor looking to date as I had recently separated from my now ex-husband. As he was my auto mechanic, we started to talk more-well, I started to talk more about myself, my children, aspirations, etc…I thought he was being a friend, later, to find out that he was collecting data. He pursued me for a year before I finally went out with him.

    The beginning was like a dream- he told me he liked everything I told him I liked ( including monogamy) and also, which I know now is a huge red flag; that he would never get angry at me. I thought that was the weirdest statement I’d ever heard, but, after being physically, emotionally and mentally abused as a child, not having someone get angry at me seemed like a dream come true.

    Since he’s 17 years older than I am, I felt that he would be mature enough to abide by his word, so I never checked his phone, snuck up on him, etc., however, I always had a nagging feeling that something wasn’t right with him. Fast forward to two years later, he asked me to marry him and we have a child…his passive-aggressive behavior, silent treatment and his ability to lie while looking straight in my eyes was getting worse throughout the relationship, so much that I tried to be perfect, never knowing what would trigger his coldness. One thing of importance was that in the beginning he told me he loved me very early-within days of dating, and he was extremely sexual…once I became hooked, he would punishment me by withholding affection and sex which killed my self esteem.

    5 weeks after my baby was born, he left his precious, always-on-silent, password protected phone on the table and the password was not engaged. My heart broke that day. He was still seeing the woman he had before me and picked up several more along the way- 19 in total that I was able to find…you’re talking about a man who was 50 years old at the time. A few months later, I threw him and his stuff out. He tried day and night to get me back- he cried, begged, etc…but I wasn’t letting him back in. Once he realized that I wasn’t taking him back, picked myself back up, lost all of my baby weight and some, he became irate. Not loud, but a slow burning intense hatred.

    Fast forward 6 years later, we co-parent; awkwardly, but he refuses to look at me, spits a couple of words at me and has a very angry demeanor…imagine someone hating you so much you could actually physically feel it…that’s how it is.

    The funny part is, the only thing I’m guilty of is breaking up with a pathologically lying, emotionally cruel, stone-hearted cheating, passive aggressive man.

    All this is to ask the question: is this typical narcissist behavior when THEY are discarded instead of the other way around?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Roslyn,

      thank goodness you are out of that and I wish you all the best in your continued healing and the creation of your amazing life.

      Roslyn that hatred, disdain, punishment, silent treatment, ghosting and all other N-asties are usual no matter which way the relationship ended … you are the enemy.

      Mel xo

    • Kate_ryan2903@hotmail.com'
      Katya Ryan
      April 10, 2018

      Roslyn, after reading your story and a question you asked, I felt it was my duty to reply. First of all well done on breaking up with the toxic narc and ending the abuse. To answer your question I would say YES, it’s typical, because you caused a great deal of pain to his damaged and weak ego by discarding him and showing him his own true reflection which is ugly and it hurts. He does not hate you, he is disgusted with himself, and you are a constant reminder to him of his ugliness. He can’t handle rejection and strength, he can’t handle the truth you know about him, the proof of that is that he can’t even make an eye contact with you, only because he is avoiding the reminder of his Ugly empty self in your eyes. It’s important you understand that his behaviour towards you is got to do with his fears and weaknesses, he hates those feelings and he can’t stand feeling weak and pathetic around you!!!! Be fearless of him and enjoy watching his awkwardness around you and say to yourself “I know what you are”. To finish of, may I inspire you by sharing the fact that my ex narc has even developed a stutter while trying to talk to me during his poor attempts to manipulate his ways, drag me into his never ending drama and more lies. He as well has no guts to look me in the eyes and avoiding any contact with me at any price… I now hope you know why. My best wishes. Katya

  • gaialuna@hotmail.co.uk'
    Vikki Parker
    April 9, 2018

    Hi Mel… such a great article. .. it’s so interesting what happens as the N grows old. My father is the N and his mask began to slip in his seventies and that’s when I really saw it all and went no contact. I had a beautiful experience during a Narp module too… his soul came to me as his 11 year old self and apologised for the man he was going to become….It was such an opportunity for forgiveness… and he thanked me for releasing him to be able to go back to love. He said to not bother with his current incarnate self as that was beyond saving but his soul was free. Compassion for his broken journey has given me more peace than anything else and it’s also given me the strength to stay No contact because I have the compassion for myself. It’s not a struggle to stay nc. .. it’s a calm acceptance and allows me to grieve properly and remember the good things he actually taught me. I was the idolized child in the emotional contract.. and whilst I played the game of loyalty and adoration I was given a lot. I gave up a lot to walk away for my sanity. All of my family sided with him. But I made the right decision and this greater perspective of soul contracts was the key for me. I still have a way to go but the world is now a beautiful place for me and the beingness you talk about is golden. That is the gift and I can have it. I often say that if I chose to come here to learn about unconditional love them I was given a perfect experience of conditional love as my reference point. And for that lesson I thank him. He played his role superbly. And now it’s up to me to thrive. … and I do… more everyday. Blessings to you Mel… lots of love to all your team and the guru Tiggy.😆

    • flowertherapy@icloud.com'
      Val
      April 9, 2018

      beautiful Vikki, thank you for sharing. It was the understanding of soul contracts and that I planned this before I was born that allowed me to finally come to peace with my mother too. It may have been other lifetimes too…..As Rumi said “ the wounds are where the Light enters”…Namaste. blessings on your journey Vikki. 💛

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Wow Vikki,

      I had goosebumps whilst I read this – so much resonating, vibrating truth.

      How beautiful that you were open to and had that experience with your father’s soul. I love the calm acceptance that you have.

      Oh gosh YES that gift is your birthright.

      I ADORE everything you have written here – soul wisdom of the highest order.

      Awww thank you for your love to all of us, so much love to you and yours too 🙂

      Mel xo

  • flowertherapy@icloud.com'
    Val
    April 9, 2018

    Great article Melanie. I agree our true self is peace and love and when we become and live from our true self we have no need to judge or wish harm to any person or being. Especially those with NPD who live such disconnected lives as you say Mel. And they have been our best teachers, sent to us as a guide by Spirit who loves us so. And them. Who knows if we were narcissists in previous lives…? Thank you Mel, I don’t believe there is any separation, or that “ they” are any less Spirit than others, whatever disguise they appear in. Every Being is Spirit in costume 🙏💛

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Val,

      thank you Dear Lady 🙂

      I TOTALLY agree with all you say … as well as the concept of as a soul experiencing “all of it” in different lifetimes.

      As Neale Donald Walsch says “we have all been sinners and saints”.

      I love what you have said, “Every Being is Spirit in costume”.

      Amen beautiful lady.

      Mel xo

  • Bettina-s@youmail.dk'
    Bettina
    April 9, 2018

    I cant help hopeing that he Will root i hell… But I get the picture with your article here 🙏🏼 I left 2 mounth ago, and If I look back, yes I am healing and moving foreward, and he and what is going on “ over there” becomes less important.. Thanks to you Melanie 🌸 But stillI hope that he will root or get cancer og get hit by a car and live the rest of his life in a weelchair… I know I’ll get over his – but still 😈

  • bicyclehead@hotmail.com'
    Michael
    April 9, 2018

    You appear to contradict you yourself in this video. In a previous video, you stated, it is not possible to get justice from a narcissist because they play by rules that good people cannot understand and therefore the narcissist is always one step ahead of the victim, which I believe is true from my own experience.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Michael,

      what I said is that when we hang onto our trauma and operate from that level of conscious, we simply get more of that trauma.

      Yet, when we do the internal shifting and change our own inner emotional landscape – then we get results.

      I concur, initially all I got was throttled too ..

      But it all fell over for N’s when I was in my calm, solid, healed centre.

      The same has happened for many a Thriver in this Community.

      Mel xo

      • bicyclehead@hotmail.com'
        Michael
        April 9, 2018

        Mel,

        Thank you for responding. As I was writing the previous comment, I realized “victim” was the key word. As long as someone remains in victim consciousness, the narcissist will always have the upper hand. But once a former victim clears themselves of trauma there is freedom and power to see clearly and act clearly and have a fulfilling life. I need that clearing. I have been in trauma mode since early childhood, more than 40 years now and I believe it is generational and need to hit the reset button.

        Michael

  • Georgia.darell@gmail.com'
    Georgia
    April 9, 2018

    Even though he abused me terribly. Golden child one day scape goat the next, used me as a buffer between my mother and his mistresses, triangulated, projected all his rage onto me in hideous ways – including when I had cancer – my father now is so weak, pathetic yes totally self involved but it was gut wrenching to see him for the first time in 1.5 years – his sex addiction had taken him into a dark world… and it turns out he also had a secret child in Africa.. our world blew up. When i agreed to see him he was looking so pitiful. I never want to be pitiful like that. And even after everything I loved him so much, my dad. Because when he wasn’t enraged or depressed there was nothing like the warm glow of setting the world to rights with him til the wee hours. Moving to a new city recently I walked bang into a flat with a dysfunctional couple; confusing too as her extreme co-dep looks a lot like narcissm. Both So unaware of other peoples needs. There are also hoarders. I felt so hemmed in. It was a living nightmare – after 3 years of work on myself its like everything came up for healing. The last and grittiest parts of my traumas. And. Last night I got out. Moved to a new flat! (They owe me 800 euros. I left “nicely” but I’ve got photographic evidence if they don’t pay up!) Now I know it’s about healing within. Knowing my value and worth and capacity to thrive… not dreading poverty – like my dad. Sorry that’s kind of 2 issues but they are so related. I feel bad for my dad but know I cannot be there for him cannot heal him only me… If anything proved that to me, living with these people for 3 weeks has. If I didn’t love my dad or what I thought he was this wouldn’t be so painful. You are a life saver Melanie. The only thing that made me feel sane this last month was your YouTube videos. Reminding me of all the lessons I’ve learned and how far I’ve come… still going. Lots of love. Xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 9, 2018

      Hi Georgis,

      it is so true how when we start awakening into consciousness we see so much of it is connected.

      That is wonderful that you are detaching and healing and loving yourself back to wholeness.

      I wish you incredible breakthrough and healing, and please know you are so welcome – I am so happy I can help 🙂

      Much love and blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  • pauline.burke68@gmail.com'
    Pauline Margaret Burke
    April 9, 2018

    Thanks Mel, I have just come out of divorce with a narcissist and thankfully I had been working NARP for a couple of years, so this is what happened.
    Although my son lives with his father, our relationship is healing and he confides in me sometimes because he knows he can trust me.
    I got 50% of our family home, managed to sell it at the decent asking price I wanted, and have found a lovely and totally affordable little place with my wonderful partner, who I met when I had done a lot of healing .The court also awarded me a small lump sum which I can use to in the future when needed. My lawyer changed me very low fees, while the narcissist had to pay tens of thousands of euros to his.. I have broken free of narcissistic employers who I had previously attracted and now have my own clients who I truly love. I have left behind false friendships and found or rekindled amazing and authentic relationships with fellow light-beings. I have found a wonderful Lady medical practicioner as my doctor in our village who has been imvaluable in helping me to regain my health, and all without spending any money for visits, exams or medication. I eat well, meditate and love going to the gym. I take time to rest when I’m tired. I finally know that taking care of myself is my responsibility, and in no way selfish.
    So I feel lucky to have found you and your team and come back from a very dark place to a new full life.
    Meanwhile the narcissist who had gone to live with his childless and wealthy lover at her property, has found himself having to cope with her very ill Father, as well as his own Father who owned their very successful business falling very ill too. Though I feel compassion for those people who are suffering, and have forgiven the narcissist for trying to take my son, my home, my health, my friends and destroy me, I realise that in this lifetime he is going to and has already started to come undone.
    I hope all those feeling hopeless will go inside, face their wounds and bring in the healing light of source, as I continue to do every day. My sincerest gratitude and much love ❤. Pauline

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Hi Pauline,

      you are very welcome. That is beautiful that your relationship with your son is healing. I am so happy for you both.

      And I am loving hearing about all the other gorgeous uplevels in your life as well as your loving partner 🙂

      Yay and your own clients – fabbo!!

      Gosh Pauline, you are truly Thriving everywhere!

      So within, so without Dear Lady congratulations of doing the work and having these amazing breakthroughs!

      So much continued love and blessings to you and thank you so much for posting and inspiring this incredible community.

      Mel xo

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    April 9, 2018

    Great episode again. Thank you, Melanie.

  • anna_elina@luukku.com'
    Anna
    April 9, 2018

    Hi Melanie!

    After the n and a lot of healing my immediate reaction today is:

    *and the narcissist is prancing off into the sunset with their brand new life as if you never existed.
    The truth IS, I never “existed”! That’s why I became a match to him. After doing lot of “soul searching” and healing, I see I was totally empty inside, I myself had abandoned myself, I had no connection to myself. Whether he is now “prancing off into the sunset with their brand new life”, I’m happy for him, I don’t care. I have now the chance to do the same 🙂
    Woo-hoo, this is healing, I’m quite proud of myself!

    *Naturally, it is beyond devastating to believe maybe there isn’t a compassionate Creator or a healthy natural order of things.
    Now I actually believe, there is “healthy natural order of things”. I love what Katherine Woodward Thomas said, “God can only do to you what he can do through you”. I had prayed to find my soulmate, but looks like there was first a lot of garbage to clean…Yes, the n case was shocking, painful and disappointing, but now when time has passed, I start to see it as a blessing in disguise.

    Love, light and blessings to everyone here! I was once a depressed, suicidal mess, nowadays I’m normal and happy again, if I can do it, so can you! <3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Awww Anna,

      loving reading your words! Oh yes love KWT’s words – so wise!!

      Thank you for being this inspirational – you are amazing.

      Go girl!

      Mel xo

      • anna_elina@luukku.com'
        Anna
        April 11, 2018

        I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t receive all this support and guidance from you Melanie. YOU are amazing!
        Just recently I have been able again to truly enjoy very simple things of life, for example I read a book about the history of perfumes, cats, going to gym, friends…it is wonderful feeling, to be able to really, totally focus on something else than the n and feel pain 24/7. Like I have now more “space” and freedom in my mind. Looking back at my past with the n, I shake my head with disbelief and think “how could I??”. I totally became his marionette, at the mercy of his whims.
        I just thought, maybe it is because of the trauma/shock, that I had no ability to focus on anything…just year ago, when I tried to watch your videos, I could usually focus only the first 5 minutes or so. Thank God I’m now in a much much better place!!

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          April 11, 2018

          Hi Anna,

          I am just so pleased that I have been able to help.

          That is great that you are doing so well 🙂

          Bless you!

          Mel xo

          • anna_elina@luukku.com'
            Anna
            April 15, 2018

            One more thought came into my mind re. “the narcissist is prancing off into the sunset with their brand new life”. I know he used to finance his life with scamming and a shady “business”. As far as I know, nowadays he has a decent normal job. It pleases me, I’m sincerely happy for him about his new and better life, it is a win-win for everyone, so that no-one will be anymore his victim financially.
            I do not want that he ends up in jail and about karma bus…I don’t wish that kind of a thing to anyone! I am unable to wish bad to anyone. He actually (unknowingly) helped me in my life, apparently I needed this massive “wake up call”. It’s difficult for me to “not care” as I am naturally a warm caring person…Ok, let’s just say that I have learned, or I choose, to focus nowadays to other things than the n and his life 🙂

  • nesilaw7@outlook.com'
    Aneas
    April 9, 2018

    Thank you, Melanie! Keep up the good work, & keep smiling yourself! I personally believe there is hope for every soul whatever others may feel, & I thank you for releasing His Love that shows that to me.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Hi Aneas,

      thank you and it’s my pleasure and joy!

      So many blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  • neel.94@hotmail.com'
    DK
    April 9, 2018

    Hi Melanie,
    I feel conflicted. Some days I feel hurt and angry and I would be satisfied to hear this but other days I feel so sad and sorry for the narcissist and myself. I wonder why not this life time? Why couldn’t I get him to wake up? And I probably dealt with the abuse because I wanted to save him so badly. I’ve “won” in a lot of ways against the narcissist already and I know no matter how many people/things he has moved on with he will be empty but it doesn’t make me happy it makes me sad and it makes me think ‘why couldn’t he realise he was enough and why couldn’t he realise I was enough? That our house and life and son was enough’
    I can see how much he is suffering too and some days I feel selfish to have won, recently gone no contact to the highest degree I can and started to save myself while leaving him to leech off people until he dies and never getting to feel love… I’m worried I’ll see him in 10 years or 40 years and I won’t be happy that he’s ruined himself.. I’m scared ill be heartbroken.
    I think my dad is a narcissist and maybe that’s why this hurts so much because I see he is somewhat empty and bitter and has nothing to show and I remember my dad saying to us things like “I have nothing because your mom left and took you and everything” “if I raised you you wouldn’t be so useless but that’s your moms fault so don’t ask me” after going through a relationship like this myself a lot about him and the things he said to us makes sense and I’ve learnt to take his rambles with a pinch of salt. I feel my ex partner is a younger version of my dad and while I was in my relationship my mom said to me “blah blah is a lot younger he has time to change, your dad was too set in his ways” this put so much pressure on me to try save him so he wouldn’t be like my dad and so much hope that I would succeed so I could give my son what we couldn’t have because of my dad. Ahhhh it’s very emotional.
    I’ll probbaly wake up tomorrow and think ahhh stuff him after the way he treated me why was I even sad yesterday and my son has everything he needs and more.
    Do you think as I continue to heal these feelings will shift and they won’t come in the ways that they do now?

  • sweetpeasmith@live.com.au'
    Sherynne Smith
    April 9, 2018

    Melanie

    Thank you so much! This segment really has relieved me in ways I did not think would ever happen. Being Empath I do not want to wish ill on anyone so to hear we all return to love is brilliant. Especially since I am the Founder of Serenity Sounds and The ‘Love Ripple’ Journey which were born out of decades of despair and finally dealing with a dangerous and viciously violent man, domestic and family violence and abuse, homelessness, unemployment and mental illness among other permanent injuries.

    Yet to know narcissists lose their impact as they age is also a relief as it means my ex has limited time to enable him to hurt anyone else. Plus so many of us are becoming stronger and seeing all the perpetrators being called to account for their actions. Big name TV stars and more. Power to us. All of us. Let us be the lighthouse in the storm for others who will also flee and become free of the clutches of narcissistic predators.

    I have lived a harrowing life filled with decades of violence, abuse and neglect and I am turning 56 this month. It is my ‘Shambhala Compassion’ Birthday in a ‘Shambhala Compassion Year’. Shambhala being connected to Master Number 11, is a Sanskrit word that roughly translates to a place (or state – my word) of peace, happiness and tranquility. 2018 = 11 and 2 which is the number of compassion in numerology. 56 = 11 and 2 too. So I guess this is a very special year for me. A year when life becomes so much good.

    Bless you for sharing all that you do. In the past few years, since I first subscribed to your program, there has been days when I can barely listen to your presentations for triggers and my skin crawling the way it does at times. Yet I did not disconnect from NRP and after this segment I know why… I was meant to hear this tonight and now I feel stronger, empowered and more capable of helping the dear Souls I help to rebuild lives each day!

    Love and a million hugs to you. You are an exquisite Soul!

    Sherynne (Sweetpea) Smith

  • chris.whittaker2@btinternet.com'
    Christopher
    April 10, 2018

    The Narc who messed my life up found a Nurse with a purse , a woman with a nice house and a good job but none of his old friends bother with him anymore, he ended up getting beaten up by one because he pushed him too far causing chaos on a Holiday, he looks a lot older now,lost his hair and put a lot of weight on and seems to have stopped bothering about his appearance when years ago he wore the latest fashions and thought he was Gods gift.

  • kirstensquitieri@gmail.com'
    Kirsten Jamison Squitieri
    April 10, 2018

    Mel you are truly amazing! So much of what you wrote, I know intuitively to be true, but the way you write about it clarifies everything for me! I thought for sure this was an old article, but you just wrote it! It is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Fresh out of a 7 year relationship where I finally CAUGHT him cheating, and I am devastated. Didn’t even really know how to define a Narcissist, until the last week, but after reading so much on this topic, the last 7 years all make sense. All of it…and while I’m still accepting this new reality, I am learning so much, including why I was reacting to him the way I was. What a relief! Onward and upward. Time to finally heal. You are amazingly gifted. Thank you. xo

  • kirstensquitieri@gmail.com'
    Kirsten
    April 10, 2018

    Mel can you please edit my name on my last post to just include my first name? I didn’t mean to publish my whole name on here. Thank You!

  • My_bba@yahoo.com'
    Helene
    April 10, 2018

    Having these in transcript form is INVALUABLE to me, Mel!! Thank you so much!
    I have tons of old vids to watch SOMEday in my inbox. Doing me no good. Transcripts, i can rip thru in several moments. Help when i need it. TY

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Awwww Helene,

      I am so happy this has helped you 🙂

      It’s totally my pleasure!

      Mel xo

  • Blackbear20082@yahoo.com'
    c
    April 10, 2018

    Melanie,

    You are truly an ANGEL in disguise. I knew that from the first time
    I listened to you. You are ALWAYS so SPOT ON with the information
    you provide. I am in my mid sixties & have had to deal with the
    EVIL that NARCs dish out on people my entire life. The knowledge
    you share so unselfishly has kept me on tract to healing & making
    a new life. I can not wait to be one of your thrivers!! I know that
    you will use the information I plan to share with you to help the
    most people everywhere.

    Thanks for being who you are!

    Sincerely,
    c

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Hi C,

      thank you for your lovely words!

      Our arms are so open here to welcome you to Thriving!

      So many continued blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  • Juanita16king@yahoo.com'
    Juanita
    April 10, 2018

    Melanie, I have been following you for well over 12mths now, since I fled back to Australia to get away from ex husband/narc. I have found your modules very helpful but I find it very difficult sometimes when listening to thriver TV episodes to follow your language? I feel like I need captions and I feel stupid , for instance what does ‘beingness’ even mean ? It is for this reason that I turn off a lot of the time because I can’t follow what your saying. I’ve tried reading the script but I’m just as lost.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Hi Juanita,

      please know you can listen with your heart and feel and know, as well as trying to decipher the logical description of the words.

      Have you ever looked at the inner work of shifting what those feelings may be about? I believe if you let go of “needing to know” and start doing the inner work on that frustration – then you will “know” the words …You can take that feeling that you just described into Module 1 and start shifting it out of your body.

      Beingness is not really a word we logically know – it is a state that we start to become.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • CharAmeesinger@gmail.com'
    Char
    April 10, 2018

    Hello Melanie. Thanks for hitting it on the nose, as you always do. My narc hides behind the smoke screens of hacking, smearing & lying on me & stalking. Nothing I can do about it….From your videos, I have gained strength, but I know I’m not where I need to be, because I’m still wishing this person will leave me alone & go away. What’s troubling is that, whenever I find employment, this person manages to smear me to co-workers & I eventually get pushed out of the job. I can’t understand why these people choose to believe the lies being told about me (I feel he has some ‘photos of me that are tampered with in a negative way). Now, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like you said, paraphrasing, “the universe is giving me what I’m looking for.” This person is computer savvy & does their dirty work underhandedly & it’s hard to prove. Initially he physically stalked me, until I put a stop to it & for the last 4 years, this person has continued to gaslight me, along with his flying monkeys. Anywho, I’ll keep listening & learning from you Melanie, because you are amazingly gifted. Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Hi Char,

      thank you and it is my pleasure 🙂 Char my deepest suggestion to you is to reprogram the traumas connected to you regarding this and then he simply can’t and won’t.

      So within, so without.

      Are you working with NARP? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      If not come into my free webinar so that you can learn how to get to the real inner work at a deep level: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/frewebinar

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

      • CharAmeeSinger@gmail.com'
        Char
        April 12, 2018

        Hi Melanie.

        Thanks for replying.

        I have not been working with NARP, but I will & I wanna change so bad & want this situation to change.

        I know change within me is needed, but I haven’t been able to access it.

        See you on the the Free Webinar.

        Thanks for your videos, blog & wisdom!

        Char xo 🙂

  • Kristinahund@gmail.com'
    Kristina
    April 10, 2018

    Thank you 😊 it’s nice to get to a point like I am now not to care what his fate is. I spent years concerned with his fate. After NARPing for 2 years, the concern with protecting him is over and done. It is astounding he lived off my fears. Actually disgusting and then used them to beat down my being. But I will say with this understanding it is nice to know he will never have the level of beingness that I have today. I absolutely know jt. He is 150%. Narc, more than I ever wanted to accept or believe. Torture!! Is what I endured. BUT I am so happy my life force is coming back. I use to spend a lot of time praying for him hiding from him protecting him but none of it really was working now that I look back he never had a life force inside for that to even work. Wow!!!! Mel I agree there life force will never be real and I am seeing first hand. He actually is worse.
    The great thing about NARPing is more i Heal the less I really care and for me that is such huge relief.
    Thanks for helping me Thrive ❤️

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 10, 2018

      Hi Kristina,

      awww it’s my pleasure 🙂

      How wonderful you are past that!

      I love that you are gaining relief and Thriving.

      Thrive On Dear Lady!

      Mel xo

  • andymaycen@me.com'
    andy maycen
    April 10, 2018

    Real good vid. I guess I nudged karma along by getting an attorney and not backing down. He got the house, the car, the business I helped build but I did get a settlement. He completely trashed my reputation, turned all of my friends against me and made it so I cannot handle living here so I have to move. I could be boo-hoo but I am so proud of myself for not backing down. And…I get to move to a beautiful new place, in a new country.
    He was/is very tied into his appearance…fwiw, he now is fat and haggered looking. KARMA…..and all I had to do was take care of myself. I guess I won! Biggest gift will be finding me and participating in my life

  • kitaven@sbcglobal.net'
    Christofer Aven (Ms.)
    April 10, 2018

    This was yet another profound presentation on a topic close to my heart. I recently completed the NARP modules and what an amazing, amazing journey that was. My healing is well under way even though I still lapse at times wondering why my husband gets to act the way he does without seeming to suffer the consequences or even comprehend what he’s doing to our marriage.

    My husband doesn’t fit some of the narcissist profile. He’s always been extremely responsible re: finances, paying the bills on time, etc. However, his natural tendencies toward self-absorption and narcissism are magnified by active alcoholism. That’s where I see the devastating, long term effects on his physical, mental and emotional self and, of course, on our marriage.

    One of the surprising Aha moments I had while working the NARP modules was the realization that my sister and 2 nieces have the narcissist profile–my sister is definitely at the top end. I had always known my mother was an Olympic gold medalist when it came to narcissist behavior, but the other insight was “news” to me. With all of them, however, my mother (who passed in 2014 but some of her traumatic effects linger on), my husband, my sister and my 2 nieces, I see my healing as measurable in how I don’t react, I remain neutral. I give myself tremendous credit for that progress and give myself compassion for the times I slip.

    I also ordered the module on Transforming family relationships with narcissists, but haven’t had a chance to work it yet.

    As part of my experience, I made a graphics print out with 3 photos of myself as a little girl. I added words of love and comfort and support and I read this aloud to my little one every morning and night. I want her to know I’m there for her and I understand what she’s been holding on to and the fear of letting it go. I want her to know it’s safe to let it go. It’s safe to grow and heal and be her adorable little self.

    Melanie, I’ve been in one form of therapy or another my entire adult life. I’m now 73 so that’s a lot of time spent in therapist’s offices. I’ve studied and practiced Emotional Freedom Technique as well as probably 100’s of other energy and spiritual healing modalities. I’ve benefitted from all of them.

    But I can say without hesitation or reservation that not one of them was able to get to the core, the root issue and heal it so thoroughly and completely. All any of the rest managed to do was “intellectualize” and “identify” the root causes. While that was helpful, it was not enough. It was not nearly enough.

    Through the NARP program I’ve made what I consider a dramatic step towards freedom, a dramatic step towards healing from Narcissistic Abuse. My heart is full with gratitude for finding your program. I found it because Dr. Christiane Northrup mentioned it in one of the Hay House free videos promoting her new book, “Dodging Energy Vampires”, which I immediately ordered.

    Thank you thank you thank you. I’m excited about my healing journey and the new positive adventures that await me!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 11, 2018

      Hi Christofer,

      that is great that you have healed so much and can now detach 🙂

      I adore that you share with us your inner child picture and work … awwww so beautiful!

      Dear Lady, I am so happy for you that you have had your breakthrough and are finally free to be you.

      You are a true inspiration to so many Christopher, and we are thrilled to have you in our lovely community.

      So much love and continued blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  • aileeno39grady@ymail.com'
    Aline
    April 10, 2018

    I am struggling with this issue. I see his life and health unraveling and getting worse every day. Part of me wants to help and part of me still wonders if we can find our way back to where we were when everything seemed like it was going to be ok. I’ve seen glimpses of the man I know he could be and it’s hard because I still love that man very much. I know he’s in there somewhere and some day he will reappear. I know he could change his entire fate so easily but he’s determined to be the victim. He pushes every opportunity away. He resents me for having a job and an income and wanting a life for me and our children. No matter how much I try I can’t completely let go of him and of hope. Am I wrong to feel this way? I still care about him and I don’t like to see him suffering so much xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 11, 2018

      Hi Aline,

      my heart goes out to you and it very normal to feel these feelings that you are feeling.

      I very much felt like that with narcissist number 1 in my life. Please do know that when you heal and find and release the unconscious reasons why you can’t let go – then you will be able to let go.

      I’d love to help show you how to do this: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      Mel xo

  • miasreflections@gmail.com'
    Mia Magdaline
    April 12, 2018

    I must say how grateful I am for your service to us all. After abuse since birth by a cruel and narcissistic mother, who seems to be still controlling and thriving, I still seem to attract narcissistic people, both men and women. (Oh the stories I can tell) At 67 I am reclusive and financially devastated. I unfortunately believe that the US is a narcissistic and spiritually deprived country. I continue my personal work and truly believe that “peace on earth” begins within, however I am at loss to understand why I seem to be a magnet for continued abuse. I know we are all (including me😊) equally loved by God, and this is an earth school, but most often I don’t feel this knowing. My fear has left me a life of profound loneliness. So on a lighter note Dear Mel, I am so delighted and proud of you for all that you have recovered from and shared your gifts and knowing with us. To see women like you and so many others, shine the light that they are, makes my heart soar. I hope it is not too late for me.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 12, 2018

      Hi Mia,

      I hear you and I truly do believe that you can make it out into life as your radiant and extended self.

      Mia for myself what it took was healing all my beliefs about ‘bad’ people and cultures and the fears of the planet we live on.

      Then my macro and micro experiences of humanity completely shifted. The bad stopped being my reality and the good and beautiful came fully into focus.

      Are you working with NARP? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      I so hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • wtaverner@outlook.con'
    Wendy Taverner
    April 12, 2018

    Thankyou , Thankyou , Thankyou Melanie you have helped me in so many ways. Up until today I thought yes I’m healing and this man is gone. I know this sounds strange but I ran into him at the shops and he offered to buy me a coffee. I wasn’t sure at first thinking this could be a huge mistake. No it wasn’t it was me sitting there having coffee realising that I no longer have any feelings for this man and he can’t hurt me anymore. I am healing in a way I never New I could heal.
    You are my angel Thankyou so much for all your support 💗💗💗

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 13, 2018

      Hi Wendy,

      Wow that is awesome!

      The absolute proof of you inner being graduation!

      Go you! I’m so pleased I could help you get to here!

      Mel xo

  • bkb2012@gmail.com'
    Barbara Kopp Brinkmeyer
    April 13, 2018

    Mel,

    Here’s what I see. As we focus on releasing our energy, and as we nurture our Inner Being …, as we focus on gentility inside and outside of ourselves, reality clears and we attract all things wonderful and pleasant. If we’ve naturally been this way lifelong, we’re this way lifelong. No one can steal this reality from us no matter what they attempt to do or say or project.

    Sending Great Love & Appreciation,

    Barbara Kopp-Brinkmeyer, MBA

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 13, 2018

      That is so very, very true Barbara.

      Becoming the change we wish to see.

      There is no other way.

      Mel xo

  • christinerussett175@gmail.com'
    Christine
    April 13, 2018

    One type of bad karma the Narcissist has is feeling so lonely when all alone by themselves and in this same moment facing their terrors of their True Self and losing all of their old Narcissistic Supplies and them not being able to get new Narcissistic Supplies as word of them being a Narcissist has got out via their victims and it has spread all over and then all of the town’s people know and then the Narcissist has zero Narcissistic Supply and is unable to get any new Supply and the Narc ends up suffering with Depression, etc…, and there’s nobody that can fill the black hole, empty void that’s within themselves and they feel traumatized and fearful of their True Selves. I live in Southern U.K, I live in a small town so everyone knows nearly everyone else in this town I live in and I have 3 older malignant covert female Narcissists who all abuse people covertly, then they all play the victims, they are hypocrites, they try to do the “holier-than-thou” whilst being wolves in sheep’s clothing, they falsely accuse their victims, they bear false witness against their neighbours/victims, they blame-shift, they are pathological liars, they steal, they cheat, they do slander, defamation of character, libel on their victims and I’m just wondering how much longer will it be until they are caught red-handed right in the act where their mask will completely slip off of their faces whilst covertly abusing someone else by another group of people – maybe the police, law authorities for example and/or they will meet their match – their nemesis who will be more intelligent, intellectual than they are and who will outsmart them by arranging a date, time and place to meet up and then when that opportunity comes and these Narcissists abuse their victim – nemesis covertly without the Narcissists knowing there will be some other people hiding – probably the police too – somewhere nearby who will jump out and ambush these covert Narcissists and have visual and/or audio recordings and have it recorded and/or it monitored of the abuse incident and the “nemesis” can do this with family and friends where the nemesis has all of his or her interactions with these Narcissists and his or her family and friends hiding somewhere nearby and who are recording and monitoring all visual and audio recordings done on multiple devices from all different angles of the covert abuse incidents without any of the covert Narcissists even knowing and this can be arranged for months or years with the arrangements made between the “nemesis” and his or her loved ones without the covert Narcs even knowing for months or even years on end during that time – months or years of the abuse – they will be gathering intelligence, proof, evidence of the Narcs doing covert abuse on this person – “nemesis” – that’s what this person’s loved ones will be doing and this person and their loved ones will give all of the evidence to the police and eventually the police will arrest these Narcs, go to court and these Narcs could be found guilty by the jury at court, found guilty and be given a prison conviction of a few years in prison for each Narc. The Narcs wouldn’t have known during all the months and years that they were being surveillanced, watched, recorded, monitored in a covert way by their victim’s – nemesis loved ones during all the abuse incidents and the Narcs wouldn’t even know that their victim’s loved ones were hiding in nearby places during all the abuse incidents over the months and years. And I’m waiting to see how much longer it will take for my 3 Narcs to go through my town’s people as/for Narcissistic Supply until it reaches the person of my town’s people who will realize what’s really going on, outsmart these Narcs, and for this person who is being abused by these Narcs to track down and find their fellow victims – other people who were being abused by the same Narcs, this person forming a new community of herself or himself and the other members of this new community who were also the victims of these same Narcs and this community of victims/survivors/thrivers will spread the word out to the rest of the town and town’s people about these Narcs – a full exposure of these Narcs to all of the town’s people so that absolutely everyone would know about these Narcs being Narcs! If all of these things happened to my Narcs they would have to leave town, move out of town and move to another town or city to settle down and live in and plus, they will feel so traumatized and fearful of all of these things, it would be a living nightmare, a living hell, pure and total terror for them. Word about them would then spread from the people of 1 town to all of the peoples/folks of other towns, cities, villages, etc…,. I wonder how much longer it will take until the first thing first starts taking effect and how long the escalation/snowball effect will be and I wonder how much longer it will take until all of these things start happening – who will do it, what they will do,?? etc…,.

  • christinerussett175@gmail.com'
    Christine
    April 13, 2018

    And the other type of bad karma that the Narcissist gets is after they die they go straight to Hell, they don’t go to Heaven and they literally spend all of eternity in Hell literally without any relief from the eternal pain, etc…, that they suffer in their eternal punishment in Hell and without any escape routes in Hell to get out and escape from Hell. Whatever their worst sin, transgression, iniquity was which they never repented from whilst they were still alive here on Earth and whichever sin, transgression, iniquity that they committed the most during their life which they never repented from here on Earth then there will be a designated place for them in Hell for them to suffer the same things that they made other people suffer from during their life on Earth and the designated place in Hell that they go to will represent/be a representation of the sin, transgression, iniquity that they committed the most/most often whilst they were alive here on Earth. So pathological liars go to the designated place for liars in Hell, etc…, and all Narcissists spend all of eternity in Hell. If a Narcissist spiritually shreds someone else then that Narcissist will go straight to Hell and they will spend all of eternity in Hell after they die. There is no relief from the eternal pain, etc…, in Hell and the eternal pain, suffering is an eternal punishment for all of eternity and the Narcissist will have and will eternally suffer from the eternal separation from God for all of eternity. There are no escape routes in Hell to get out of from and escape from Hell. After a Narcissist dies there will be no Narcissistic Supply for them, so no more Narcissistic Supply for them and they will never ever have Narcissistic Supply ever again for all eternity after they have died. After they die they will never ever have any old or any new Narcissistic Supply ever again for all of eternity. I’m a born-again christian and this comment post is from a religious/spiritual angle. I just felt the need to say it from a religious and spiritual angle

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