Melanie Tonia Evans

Why Do Narcissists Go After Lightworkers

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 9
104
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

So many people who are Lightworkers have been narcissistically abused.

An ASTOUNDING amount of people.

Why is this the case?

Is it because narcissist’s need “Light’ to exist, or is there a BIGGER truth going on?

A truth that makes so much sense (as well as lends incredible power) regarding what Lightworkers REALLY came here to do.

Find out in this week’s Thriver Tv episode!

 

If you relate to this video (as I think many of you may do!) I’d love to hear your comments and questions below!

The following two tabs change content below.
Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

Your Free New Life Starter Pack

2 free eBooks free intro Video 2 hour free Webinar
  • Find out if someone in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • Learn how to do “No Contact” and keep it for good.
  • Discover how to get relief from the pain.
  • Learn how to reclaim your life with my 10-step process.

Sign up below to join my Community of over 50,000 people, and receive weekly information, inspiration and tools to get your life back on track.

ssl security padlock   We value your privacy. Your information will never be shared.
104 Thoughts on Why Do Narcissists Go After Lightworkers
  • willcarlton4@yahoo.com'
    WC
    September 23, 2016

    Thanks so much for putting this message out. I appreciate the necessity of it, especially in the wee hours!

    Emerging from a relationship with the last and final narc in life is like doing some kind of post doctorate program. I’ve been associated with ministry for over 45 years but didn’t put 2 and 2 together until it nearly killed me. Early in the recovery process I realized the whole experience was preparing me to answer a long standing call to work in Africa. Now I only hope to do justice to the lessons learned and learning.

    Shalom! And thanks again for bringing forward a very important reality.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi WC,

      my pleasure!

      How wonderful this experience catapulted you into your true mission!

      As it does … at the highest level of Truth.

      Bless you WC!

      Mel xo

  • Claytonruth@rocketmail.com'
    Rose
    September 23, 2016

    I found this really interesting and often had this sense as a little girl that I was sent to my family for a purpose. I was the only child of five that was adopted and was severely traumatized as the only girl. But later I thought my sense of mission to my family, might be just a defence against accepting the pain and reality of my situation and a way to make sense of it. As an artist, sublimetting pain through music and art, the light and chasing it, has been core for me and my work, for as long as I can remember. Where it has been problematic is in putting myself in danger and being naive about the pursuit of the light, for some love the darkness and when they meet the light in us, it enrages them. It is in facing my own dark that has made me more wise in whom I share with. And if anything, my task has been to stand firm in the light as a warrior, and not allow the dark to overcome it, both the dark in myself and in others. Now I love the narcissist from a safe distance and pray the light someday will find them somehow, but I mostly put my energy elsewhere.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Rose,

      I truly empathise in regard to that “truth” of that light in others enraging others.

      I used to live that reality as well.

      What I discovered is when I unlevelled from that belief and just was able to be authentic, “there is only light” regardless of what others are choosing … then those experiences completely ended.

      I highly, highly suggest doing the belief system shifting at that level to totally begin living that different experience.

      Mel xo

  • angelsone@sbcglobal.net'
    Dorothy
    September 23, 2016

    This is absolutely 100% spot on. As a child I knew one day my life would have a significant impact and it had to do with healing. I experienced a major shift by connecting all the emotions and feelings from the powerful situation I walked through over the last two years. It was sent to the earliest part of my life where I was “split” and “detached”. Having made the connections, I was able to integrate.

    The core of my being is light, truth, love, and compassion. Connecting with my innermost deepest self is connecting with who I am which reflects God (light, source, truth, Creator…) I shed the false self and projections of others.

    Going inside and doing they work heals the wounds that block us from living fully from the source within. I used to forcefully try and bring others. especially the ex N, into the light with me. Now, I am just living in that place and effecting the world around me. I am dropping the savior complex. It its my role. Finding others who are seeking to evolve is the support that was needed. We have each other’s back. Trying to force an N who is projecting a great deal of darkness onto us because of inability to own it can be absolutely dangerous on all levels. Letting them go is an act of love. We are not the captain of their ship and more than they are ours.

    I am aware that all things are conspiring bringing me fully into my light. I believe this is a world wide calling.

    This Thriver T.V is a great validation.

    • dancingshadow18@hotmail.com'
      Hope (Piñata in the forum)
      September 23, 2016

      Really enjoyed reading your comment.
      And I agree with you so much about letting go of the saviour complex!!

      Also, of course, *wonderful* Thriver TV episode, Melanie!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Dorothy,

      How wonderful you were able to integrate …

      I adore that you are connecting with Who You Really Are.

      It is also fantastic that you no longer try to force anyone into the light … and just BE it instead.

      I love everything you have written Dorothy – you totally “get it”.

      Bless you!

      Mel xo

  • Tylyjobs@yahoo.com'
    Ty
    September 23, 2016

    I think Narcissist are attracted to lightworkers as a way to control them… not necessarily does the lightworker love them… they want the lightworker to love them so they can feel that energy and peace… but love cannot be forced …as I have explained to my narcissitic stalker for 4 years… Move on..

    • barbradle@gmail.com'
      Barbara Radle
      February 18, 2017

      Narcs use the word love but what love means to them is that you will do what they say and be under their control to boost and affirm their false image A narc cannot even sort through their trauma enough to see the light that is love Do not fool yourself that the situation has anything to do with love Only to heal yourself

  • murriboyd@gmail.com'
    Peter
    September 23, 2016

    Thanks again. I started the relationship think I could help make this person better.

    Wrong on all accounts. Just continued it.

    Its now 5 months complete separation and Im getting better every day.

    Your help has been astounding.

    Peter

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Peter,

      you are so welcome 🙂

      That is wonderful that you are stepping into your power, and I am so pleased my material has helped!

      Mel xo

    • richtamms@yahoo.com'
      Kay
      September 25, 2016

      Hello Peter,
      Glad you got out before things got really bad!
      I was in such a relationship with a narc. He was ex special forces Green Beret, and presented himself as just the coolest guy on earth. Like most narcs, he was good at presenting an illusion of a cool, tough guy and fools everyone at first. After we were married, his true colors came out. I ended up having to stay with him for over ten years because he threatened my family if I left. We got divorced in 2007 but I ended up staying with him until 2011 when he sent a nasty and threatening email from Afghanistan, and that was it for me. I put his stuff in storage and left. Melanie’s work has been most helpful!
      Cheers,
      Kay

  • Amaniek9@gmail.com'
    Angie
    September 23, 2016

    Absolutely – Narcs are demon energy absolute evil here to injure, take and nearly kill us as we all know, and myself have been there only to re-emerge stronger than ever and more involved and capable in my chosen area of light so being able to make a difference in the world for suffering animals makes me value myself like never before. At a turning point I “saw” the narc’s tombstone – meaning he Is dead to me. I kept seeing this huge rock marking his grave, No loving from afar. If I let this demon into my life again it will kill me. The malignant narc- there is no coming back from that. That person is already gone, light does not find them it destroys them. Unless it is horribly injured like we were.

    • michellecruzmarrero@gmail.com'
      Lola
      September 27, 2016

      They are absolutely demonic energies. They will suck the life and try so suck the light out of you. It is the most horrifying experience ever. The narc’s relationship with us isn’t about the narc it is about us. We cannot ever give them our power. We would be their supply. They need “light” to be present. They are a total shell of a person. They are super paranoid and think everyone is out to get them when in fact, they are out trying to destroy others, particularly the light workers like us. They do treat light workers terribly. They are trying to turn our light off. Never let them.

    • barbradle@gmail.com'
      Barbara Radle
      February 18, 2017

      Absolutely the truth Read The People of the Lie by Scott Peck MD He writes about malignant narcissism and he writes further about exorcism and narcissism and exorcism He explains his definition of exorcism too which is not Hollywood style The last narc I knew I used to wonder if he needed an exorcism! It wasn’t until I read Scott Peck that I took that seriously

  • linzidogilvy@gmail.com'
    linzi ogilvy
    September 23, 2016

    I believe narcissists are abusing light work on a global, societal and political level. The only hope of saving earth from destruction and control from psychopathic government is raising consciousness and whistleblowers – the latter having to mix with the devil to expose. I could go on but I’m breast feeding – something that is politically darkened by disinformation so that the vaccine/gov can poison humanity.

  • gokceavseren@gmail.com'
    gökce
    September 23, 2016

    Hi Dear All,

    I totally agree with Melaine about being matched with the narcicsists for a reason leading our inner work.
    I have been working on my spirituel development for a long time and I dont think it is just accident to meet my narc on time when I was trying to
    clean my negative energy from my soul. Everything happened as it had to be..After abusing period I came up the blog and decided to heal my dark sides. I no longer seeking for love from other people.I have focused myself and I am sure the right realtionship will find me when I am ready.
    No need to ask for attention and acceptance.Now it seems so useless..I am learning to set my boundries and say no . I dont stalk my ex nars anymore and no wonder what he does.Because I know he is doing the same shit:) and he will never have a capacity to feel real love. I dont know how much time ı need to be a whole with myself but it does not matter. Loving yourself is best of all and this is my life. Thank you Melanie and the team, you have done welll!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Gokce,

      That is so true we meet and enmesh when it is time to evolve our “dark corners” ….

      I love that you have focused on yourself and your evolution.

      You are 100% correct regarding self-love.

      You are so welcome Gokce, and lots of blessings to you.

      Mel xo

    • connie.wetzler@gmail.com'
      Connie
      October 17, 2016

      “I have been working on my spiritual development for a long time and I dont think it is just accident to meet my narc on time when I was trying to clean my negative energy from my soul. Everything happened as it had to be. After abusing period I came up the blog and decided to heal my dark sides. I no longer seeking for love from other people. I have focused myself and I am sure the right realtionship will find me when I am ready.”

      ” I dont know how much time ı need to be a whole with myself but it does not matter. Loving yourself is best of all and this is my life.”
      Exactly!

      Ps. I hope you don’t take offense for me correcting spelling… hard habit to break due to conditioning from my father. But hey! I no longer look over my shoulder in fear that my dad could some day look over my shoulder and see the food crumbs in my silverware drawer! LOL!

  • sylvia7@talktalk.net'
    Sylvia Wilkin
    September 23, 2016

    Hi Mel!
    As always, your words are music to my ears! This SO resonated with me. It took me so long to realise that the Narcissistic experience was for my healing and evolution, not theirs! I had to laugh out loud when you spoke of trying to heal and save others, because I was a consummate “fixer”, attempting to help those who – as you said – had absolutely NO intention of changing. And I didn’t realise at the time, that all my efforting and over-functioning was a massive source of supply to them. I also did it with people who weren’t Narcs, but were very negative and highly resistant to changing their situation, and who were in fact – enjoying wallowing in their own misery. And they too, enjoyed the attention and sense of self-importance that my obsession with rescuing them afforded them. I used to buy people self-help books, which they either didn’t read, or saw as Airy-Fairy New Age crap. One “friend” for whom I bought a such a book, actually told me that it had helped her to work out everything that was wrong with me! I prayed for others, I bought them crystals, I even tried white magic spells………and couldn’t see that it was really myself that needed all the healing I was trying to force upon others. I still come across negative and self-absorbed individuals, but it rolls off me now. I don’t need them as messengers any more, I can let them be. I simply don’t have the hooks and triggers that were once there. Lightworker I may be, but it took me a long time in the darkness before seeing the light ! Much love xxxxx

    • angelsone@sbcglobal.net'
      Dorothy
      September 24, 2016

      Sylvia, I love your post. Your comment “and couldn’t see that it was really myself that needed all the healing I was trying to force upon others” really makes so much sense to me. I wanted to be an airline hostess but ended up becoming a nurse. I reflect on how many times my patients assisted me in my healing as the “wounded healer”. In my personal relationships rather than move on and find other like people on a similar path, I would tenaciously cling to those in my close circle and try to heal them so we could all be on the same page. The answer is not necessarily to “dump” them, but to be open to meeting people on our similar path and continue to evolve. We will either be an influence on those around us by just being who we are or the relationships will change by dropping from the main circle. they will either evolve on their own and stay in our life or they will drop off. When I was sourcing outside of myself, I could not let anyone go! I clung on for dear life. There is so much less effort spent trying to raise the world when I only have to be concerned about rising beyond my own wounds. I will attract from the place of wholeness and inspire by merely by being connected to my inner most being of love, light, truth, compassion….Wishing you peace as you continue to shine your light.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Sylvia,

      as always it is so lovely to hear from you – and I know we both resonate with each other in so many ways.

      100% you have nailed it how when we were self-avoiding, trying to change and save others, all we were doing was enabling them to stay unwell.

      How hilarious re the book comment your “friend” said … what a case of the Universe telling you “wrong town”.

      How wonderful you no longer need the messenger – such is the awesome side-effect of 100% personal responsibility.

      Bless you Sylvia, sister of Light.

      Mel xo

  • weavernc@yahoo.com'
    Nancy Catherine
    September 23, 2016

    Melanie, there’s no mistake in my discovering your channel. I can’t put into words how divine, freeing, liberating, and hopeful it is to hear someone else further down the same path yell back that there’s light ahead. I’ve been absorbing everything for the past few days, having full body reactions to the truth, and amazed that you’re not only “reading my mail,” but that you’re targeting the depth and core of it generously. It’s really beautiful. It’s just dancing light. Thank you for being you and thriving. I’m so excited for the healing happening in me now. Such a huge shift from Mars in retrograde to Jupiter rising and all in synch. This video punches a big point for me. They all do, really. It’s been 5 years of the most ridiculous, chaotic, Hollywood-movie-worthy, dramatic roller coaster with the Narcissist I fell in love with and have been struggling to free myself from at the same time. It can drive anyone crazy. I am a lightworker, and I’m actually a professional bodyworker, and he would yell in desperation to me, “You can save me!” Even though I would answer, “No, I can’t,” and try to direct him to Higher Power he never latched to anything that wasn’t tangible and logical. And it was out of my own desperation and longing to see him happy that I continuously gave myself to trying… I do think he felt more safe around me, and wanted to unzip his facade, but like you said, he had annihilated even his own true self, and he never knew how to get in touch with himself. I still yearn for his ability to do that, lol. So uncanny how empaths will take on other’s pain like a martyr to our death and think it’s helping… it was helping no one. I’ve got a lot to sift through and I’m hand in hand as a listener and lightworker, in the process of upgrading. God bless your voice.

    • angelsone@sbcglobal.net'
      Dorothy
      September 23, 2016

      Mary, I resonate to how you described your experience. I spent almost 22 years in an obsession in order to fix the one magic person, my ex N. I clung tenaciously fixated in order to basically undo everything I could not “fix” as a child thinking if I did, then we both could live “happily ever after”. Melanie’s program made it possible for me to do what years of therapy could not achieve. I recall the therapist telling me that when I realize how much I lost over my entire life because of my early wounds that it would devastate me. However, I feel far from that bleak prognosis. Instead, I feel blessed and deeply loved to have navigated through every obstacle with a Divine light burning at my center guiding back home. Looking back, everything I had to go through in order to come back home to myself is no coincidence. It was the purpose. When we make it out of our own darkness, we provide hope for those who are trying to follow their own inner light calling them. There is no waste. Viewing our N experiences as angels in disguise, messengers pointing to what needs healing in us, gives the suffering purpose. Even if we could not “fix” them, who knows what is taking place deep inside of them assisting them along their journey toward the center because of their encounter with us? We can let them go and embrace the reality of love that can match us in our wholeness instead of through our neediness and wounds. Keep on shining your light. xoxo

      • angelsone@sbcglobal.net'
        Dorothy
        September 23, 2016

        Please forgive the mistake with your name, Nancy. My computer changed “Nancy” to Mary through a misspelling.

      • connie.wetzler@gmail.com'
        Connie
        October 17, 2016

        Even if we could not “fix” them, who knows what is taking place deep inside of them assisting them along their journey toward the center because of their encounter with us?”

        Beautiful!
        I believe we DO plant seeds of light 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Nancy,

      I am so happy I can inspire you to know about the light ahead … and the knowing that you actually ARE the Light … it is just a matter of releasing wounding to experience it following through you as you.

      How wonderful you are excited about the actualising of you!

      Truly, when you find and release the wounds Nancy deep within your DNA, that have been about “I need to change abusive others in order to survive” I promise you, that you’ll shift beyond this from all eternity.

      And so is your True Path.

      Bless you dear lady 🙂

      Mel xo

  • morseglen572@gmail.com'
    Glen
    September 23, 2016

    Thank you for this message I will have to come back to it often, You have helped me in many ways Melanie!!!

  • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
    Mette Mulbjerg
    September 23, 2016

    Hi Melanie

    Seeing this resonates precisely in every detail inside of me – all of my life I have felt what you describe!

    I do not know exactly how to explain this, but I will try.

    I have this feeling of that it is not okay being like this as looking back many people in my life has been “provoced” by the energy in my personality (my siblings, colleges, some friendsships/love relationsships, the N etc.), totally opposite using my person against me – the things they by starters were attracted to transformed into a weapon against me. Trying to deminish my beliefs of life, beginning with my siblings in childhood. I see now a pattern in all of this and I am not not yet totally clear on it. But somehow along the way, I have become so scared of being who I am, as it seemed to hurt me in relation to others, close relations, blaming my self for being who I am with very strong intuition, drive and values at a deeper level. Being scared of being like this. I have been in this defence of myself with these people all of my life, not dealing with it in a healthy way. I hope you maybe understand what I am saying… I Want to point out: only SOME others. I have also met many people throughout my life, that has expressed the exact opposite and I still do. I have come a long way in my healing, that started to happen after finding your programme and I thank you for showing up!! I have many layers wired up inside of me and still have many triggers/beliefs to shift, but I am beginning to taste how amazing life is 🙂

    My question is in relation to your experience as I feel you can relate to this, having been there. How did you come at peace within yourself who you are and letting go of the people that are negative affected by maybe being a “lightworker” as you express it? I still have something inside of me, like I should somehow withhold of showing up like who I am. Like I am not allowed to beleive within myself, that I actually am of importance if other people get offended by that (I can hear my sisters voices as I am writing this…) Okay, now this is big … I know 😉 But I know my mission and will not keep living on withhold. Please share if you have some thoughts on this.

    Much Love from Mette

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Mette,

      I am so pleased this resonates with you.

      I totally understand Mette, the fear to be self.

      I used to carry those painful beliefs profoundly. The relief of being free of them is immense.

      I am so pleased you have shifted so much with NARP and are now feeling the inherent organic joy that you “just are”.

      Mette, my answer to you is always going to be the same in regard to “how to” … it’s this, use the Modules and go to the trauma in your body, “Others don’t accept me being a being of light” and EVERY other belief around that topic (name it) and track through your body and up-level with QFH.

      Then it just will NOT be your reality … when you clean it up for good.

      Don’t try to unravel it cognitively – there is “nothing” to work out – and only false beliefs (the trauma) to shift and up-level.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

      • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
        Mette Mulbjerg
        September 24, 2016

        Hi Melanie

        Thank you for answering and I get what you say.

        After posting this comment (this almost always happens for me!!) I knew I had the answer myself and the sense of what “to do” AND I knew your response to this :-).

        One day soon I will feel solid/safe in this. I still have uplevelling to do to reach the point, where I stand stabile en these belief about myself and consistently will be able to let be was is and let go of those who are not able or willing to meet me at this ground – with ease and compassion 🙂

        Have a wonderful day, Melanie – Love, Mette <3

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          September 25, 2016

          Hi Mette,

          yes it is amazing how this happens!

          And you sooooo will soon reach the destination you seek – you’ve got this!

          Thank you and have a wonderful day too lovely lady!

          Mel xo

  • info@psyche.co.za'
    Stella
    September 23, 2016

    Loved the ‘going home to Count Dracula’- I could so relate, something didn’t fit! Dealing with my own darkness has been so difficult and I am so grateful for your healing modules. Thanks so much for your powerful insights and sharing your experiences and techniques.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Stella,

      I am so pleased NARP has helped.

      You are very welcome Stella.

      Mel xo

  • n4bach@comcast.net'
    Nancy
    September 23, 2016

    When I think of a “person of light” and the ensuing abuse he/she suffers from inherently unhappy people, I see this image of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz; she was completely destroyed by water thrown on her, and of course, she dissolved in a screaming frenzy.

    My point: I am not identifying with the witch(!) as such, but I have often felt perilously close to annihilation during times when the narcissist threw his bucketsful of anger, jealousy, and arrogance over me, and sadly, it would sometimes take months for me to reconstruct myself and return to standing upright and reclaiming the light and love which give my life joy and meaning.

    I have come a long way, and I love my life, but I zealously guard myself from further exposure to the narcissist. Indeed, they do not change. Ever.

    • fortunejoy@outlook.com'
      JESS M
      September 24, 2016

      Mette…I Totally “get you”…I get most of my answers in Module 6 of NARP…as Empath: I felt so responsible for “them” out there….if I couldnt fix ‘them’ I wouldnt be safe. I felt unsafe/Terrorised but I projected my Blame outward ~constantly expecting others to be ‘like Me’! It was completely outrageous on my behalf. Im just speaking for me here~ you may well be very different. It has taken me a Huge effort to actually bust open the Shell of ‘Who I Am’ & not who they are…my very own Codependency. Im only 9 months in but it was only around 8 months that I saw Me…as very very codependent & Im just starting to let go of “them”. It is Hugely difficult with a n parent. I used to call myself “Florence Nightingale” the Terminal Care nurse with incredible pride…i needed That! I needed all that praise & Approval I never ever had as a kid but Thank God we found NARP . I dont have any answers for your soul. All I know is I spent my whole life looking outside to be told “who I am” & it all got incredibly crazy. I never felt validated or ever ever encouraged but at least when one has had 0 ; on those levels; there is progress as we either get worse or really devote our all to Thrivng Upwards. This is My own Self validation! Through the gift of such brokenness up and out of this.
      ..I find the validation I never Ever had as a kid….desperately seeking it.
      Sending you very much love as I resonated with all you said & know very well these feelings.Id say all the middle Codependency mods. & especially the ones that resonate for You. But maybe you are already doing them & just refecting back into how you used to be. Jude (“Jess M” on Forum) xx

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        September 24, 2016

        Hi Jess,

        that is so wonderful you are living your life from within now.

        The Module 6 work was MASSIVE for me too .. so many of us have handed our power by being responsible for everyone else.

        It has been an absolute joy seeing you blossoming into your radiant you – you have come such long way.

        Keep up the great work!

        Mel xo

      • mettemulbjerg@hotmail.com'
        Mette Mulbjerg
        September 25, 2016

        Hi Jess M

        Thank you for sharing your experience 🙂 I can imagine how growing up with a N parent had put it’s footprint deep in you, I can relate to the wounds and emotions (I did not have a N parent, but very dysfunctional familly involving alcohol and siblings with simularities to an N) And yes, finding NARP is a gift that “landed” and also turned my life around!

        My comment was both present and reflections. I feel deeply changed, like being reborn layer by layer one little me at the time <3 Present because I am still on my journey, reflective as I have moved far and am now able to see the past and things happening in general from a much higher perspective, with a distance that I was not able to just shortly ago, as I was constantly in fear and survival.

        I completely relate to the codependency too, I have always been a strong fighter, but I was seeking safety from the outside in my enviroment, this is what I have learned from a messy childhood at a deep level within – that my wellbeing was depended on others behavior (long complicated story, as all of us have :-)). I reached a point where I had NO areas of stability in my life and was feeling soooo unsafe, like living in a constant warzone. I could not sleep, had cronic high anxiety/stress, had no job, I had a full blown N ex husband that I had fought against for 5 years, I had lost my father, my mother had braindamage, my two bigsisters (11 and 7 years older) where still blaming me in this trauma situation for letting them down all of their life, my children were misarable, I was holding on to another really destructive relationship just to try and find some safe ground in my life – and I felt that everything was just turning against me, trapped in every area of life without any exit.

        This is all looking back, because due to ending up completely on my own (I have loving friends, but they could not be the parents that I was actually seeking) – I was forced to finally make a choice: Either I would die or I had to start living my life in a whole different way. I chose life and from then on, my life has changed. Sloooowly at first, but I was determined to do whatever it took to find my way through this taking full responsebility for my healing and myself. And shortly after, Melanies youtube showed up and then it all started to change at that deep level, I had been seeking to reach to release the deep traumas one by one 🙂

        This was just a sharing and I wanted to say, that I relate, I have worked module 6 many, many times and I also hope, you are still well on your way, Jess 🙂

        Much Love from Mette <3

  • DANIEL@DANIELPIATEK.COM'
    DANIEL PIATEK
    September 23, 2016

    SO TRUE. It’s been a year since I put out a stiff arm with my now ex, thinking only that I was saying “no” to being raged at. Little by little my eyes opened, and little by little the false world I had been living in was falling apart. But it wasn’t until I heard your videos did I truly understand what was going on, and my world fell apart…..THANK GOD…….! And shortly thereafter I found M. Scott Peck’s “People of the Lie” and I felt like I really understood this narc/co-dependent dance down to its spiritual core.

    It’s a year later, I have literally been reborn. My friends and I cannot believe how much I have changed, grown, found myself, and Spirit has and is guiding me every step of the way.

    The capacities and skills which I now consider my spiritual gifts were EXACTLY the things that my narc ex targeted and made me feel bad about and doubt. I don’t think these are coincidences.

    Thank you for continuing to let your light shine Mel. I feel like this is the battle of Armageddon and we must free ourselves and win out over evil.

    • fortunejoy@outlook.com'
      JESS M
      September 24, 2016

      I must check out that book. Im a massive fan of M.Scott Peck & attended a US run workshop on “The Different Drum” .I have far to go~ Im now 9 month’s into NARP Gold programme but just starting to get more humble but also very much more ‘Priviledged’…which was what I needed to do. That it Did happen and tgat U Do deserve healing for Me.
      . With n mum & Very Codep Dad who calls her “Mummy”; he is now 84…I start to see that all he kept on about is Actually something awesome in me…my sensitivity “You’re too Sensitive Jude!”
      I mean: What a Gift !! But I saw it as faulty and that I was “bad & deffective”- the horrendous legacy of havng a n mum who was jealous of her daughters but also the greatest breakthrough; through the hell and pain of it all…is our Greatest Breakthrough. I can relate to you. Thank you. Relating to others only now comes back to me. 😃Thank God for NARP as I Was surely on my way out. I am btw a Lightworker. I did it All: Terminal care nursing, Healing as a Refexologist; Spiritual Healing etc etc…infinitum but I was dying inside. I needed Approval and Validation that I existed and was “Good”!
      Im So grateful to NARP but that is still insincere as my heart is still blocked.im learning Gratitude.
      Love J from NARP ♡☆♡

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Daniel,

      How true … that what we thought was our world had to fall – that old order – for our True Life to emerge.

      You are very welcome Daniel.

      Mel xo

  • alexa.mcorreia@gmail.com'
    alex
    September 23, 2016

    Hi Melanie,

    Thank you so much for this particular episode.
    As I was listening to you, my heart and mind couldn’t but 100% positively relate to what you were saying.
    It’s so very true. I hadn’t yet formulated any idea regarding narcs and lightworkers, since am presently dwelling in the whole process, but all you said completely related to my experience and I really thank you for the help and support you provide.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Alex,

      my pleasure 🙂

      I am so glad you resonated with this episode.

      Mel xo

  • stphnlngly@gmail.com'
    stephen langley
    September 24, 2016

    Hi. This just might be the most important aspect of getting involved within a narcissictic relationship. While self-growth from being on ‘the losing end’ of dealing with someone is equally important I feel it is just as important to hold Love and Hope for the so-called abuser… they, too, are a part of “the collective” ! I’ve recently come to this understanding to the point where I’m no longer affected, i.e., bitterness, anger, confusion, etc… all the effects of being a “victim”. The rubric of Unconditional Love applies as much for the “narcissist” as to self. This is not to imply that I want to save my favorite narcisist (and I’m reluctant to use that term) but I must, as a “lightworker” Love Unconditionally. It is important to believe in that person with whom we did/do feel something. Perhaps attraction to a “narcissist” is/was due to the empathy that we / I felt for her own inner desperation ? Before and after any aberrant behavior manifested I felt for her struggles completely. So, I choose to Love… but without hope or desire to be with her. I have known for a long time that the “soul contract” with her is to hold Love in my heart for her. And the task for myself is to give it freely with zero expectation and with the realization that she isn’t quite capable of doing so with anyone.

    All that is to say that if we (lightworkers) are here to heal the planet, then it is those individuals, the narcissists, sociopaths & psychopaths that need the healing the most ! Victims need to recover only to become conscious of our real task / soul contract with an “abuser”. But there would be no victims if there were no abusers. How this plays out will be different for everyone.

    Thank you for your work. I’m happy that you’re moving in this very important direction. The individual cases of narcissistic abuse AND victimization has universal application to the state of the planet. Many great and inspiring examples throughout history attest to the liberation from the cycle of abuser-victim when Love and Forgiveness are exchanged. For me, giving up the role of victim is only a step toward forgiveness… the Real task is to Love and not fear the machinations of the “narcissist”.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Stephen,

      I agree, the more we are love and allow with love the more healing takes place – for all concerned.

      The demonising, pushing back, judgement and intense victim model only energises what people are screaming out against – and cements it more in place.

      Love doesn’t fear …. it just is.

      Mel xo

    • Angelsone@sbcglobal.net'
      Dorothy
      September 24, 2016

      Stephen, beautifully stated. Connecting to our center allows this to flow without effort.

    • connie.wetzler@gmail.com'
      Connie
      October 17, 2016

      Wow! You said it! Lol!
      Unconditional love… I have that for the narcs, past and “present…” except one, my ex husband. 20 years is a long time and a lot of stuff that was so confusing. After divorce about 4 years ago, I was attracting more “bold” narcs. Each one seemed more dramatic than the one before. It had to be that way to get my attention. Got it! Lol!

      Yes, giving up the role of victim, not a problem. “… the Real task is to Love and not fear the machinations of the “narcissist.”
      I feel that too 🙂

  • dendelaz@yahoo.com'
    Diane
    September 24, 2016

    Hi Melanie,
    You speak extensively about healing our own wounds many steaming from our childhood. How, as parents, do we keep from extending such wounds to our children? Or help to keep our children healthy as they grow? Especially if one of their co-parents is the Narc we sought and struggled to separate our-self from?

    Love all your messages.
    Thanks
    Diane

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Diane,

      I have written and talked about this subject many times and in many different ways.

      If you google my name + children – you will be able to connect with this topic and how we can help our children.

      The bottom line is the more we heal ourselves – even if we are the one healthy parent – the more our children simply heal with us …

      Truly.

      Mel xo

      • connie.wetzler@gmail.com'
        Connie
        October 17, 2016

        the more we heal ourselves – even if we are the one healthy parent – the more our children simply heal with us …”
        This is what I believe also. I thought that by having a healthy relationship that my daughter would see they are not all bad, not all abusive, narcs, etc… like her father.
        Unfortunately, I still had much work to do on myself and I only added to her pain.
        But then again, I also believe that we choose our parents prior to our “assignment” on earth. So, no need in putting useless guilt upon myself. I am doing the best I can. I had to have this one last harsh experience with a narc to really wake me up… no contact now for a couple of months and thankfully he’s 2,000 miles away and crappy at saving money. Lol!

  • sqescue@yahoo.com'
    Erika
    September 24, 2016

    I found so much insight in this. It reverberates Christ’s love in soooo many ways. For those of you that are Christians this is also in line with what God speaks of. Be the light, shine your light, the love of God. God resided IN us and shines through us. As for trying to help heal someone else I was very guilty of that, but that is Gods call for them, do not forget free will. The Nar. chooses this life and we choose ours. It is merely a matter of ….. choosing to be the light.
    I have been watching Mel for about 9 months now and one of my original struggles was with my faith and this approach. But really it is all in line with each other. I pray and study the scripture daily now (9 months) I was determined to break free from my cycle of NA.
    Thank you Melanie

    • angelsone@sbcglobal.net'
      Dorothy
      September 24, 2016

      Erica, I had a vision of “hell” 21 years ago on the morning after painful surgery and a frightening diagnosis. It was an inner vision of a well dressed, handsome man walking nonchalantly down a city street, smuggling whistling, with one hand resting in his jacket pocket. He seemed oblivious to what was happening around him. All around were people who were left in his aftermath, all struggling and in a sense of despair, chaos and confusion. He was completely impervious to anything or anyone. This is before I ever heard of a narcissist! Now I can connect that vision with when I experienced all of my life through significant relationships. It was a hell, a land of darkness trying to extinguish my light wheel i tried to extinguish the dark in them. That is not a job for us at all but for the Spirit. It almost led to my demise. I now let go and try to stay out of “God’s lane” (classic co-dependent). Blessings to you along your journey of light as you attract more light.

      • michellecruzmarrero@gmail.com'
        Lola
        September 28, 2016

        You have described a Narc I know well – “well dressed, handsome man walking nonchalantly down a city street, smuggling whistling, with one hand resting in his jacket pocket. He seemed oblivious to what was happening around him” – He actively seeks to destroy women in particular. He loathes women and at the same time can’t keep away from them. He loves an audience but is dismissive of his audience as he bores quickly. He is a shell of a man. There is nothing there. Absolutely nothing. He doesn’t love anyone – particularly not himself. He self loathes. Trying to hold on to his youth in any which way he can. We say his wife must be in hell as she is usually alone and the son is also alone as well. He “presents” well and tries to keep that image together. He alludes to mysterious ways and no one really knows him and he quite likes it that way. It keeps everyone away from his darkness. He knows what he is.

    • kimpossible3x3@gmail.com'
      Kim
      September 24, 2016

      Erika, I can relate! The references to light, upleveling, higher power, etc. seem more new age than Christian, but I think Melanie is trying to make the principles applicable to everyone. Yes, we do all have our own free will, but with the legal system (decidedly NON-Christian), a lot of our choices and standards seem to be out of our hands. For me, I struggle and repeatedly have to remind myself to ask God to fight form me – to confound the “enemy”, so to speak, to allow the truth to come out about him so other people can see it. The relentless court attacks are still enormously stressful, though – even physically punishing, since I’m ill with autoimmune disease. We have two children together (I have a total of 8; six are from my former marriage), so I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to go completely no contact. It’s hard to not feel hopeless sometimes, especially on my worst days.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Erika,

      I am so pleased this resonated with you …

      I truly do believe we are all connected to the same Universal Love – and a Higher Power is different names to different people.

      Mel xo

  • warrenbrubacher@email.com'
    WJBMotown
    September 24, 2016

    My own mother lost her life to “Count Dracula.” What that makes me is a double survivor, thanks to people like you Melanie. Narcs are the lowest form of llife on earth. 99pecent of all abusers seem to have the NPD link is seems. Mom was the light and will be a CoDependent caretaker to her last breath.
    A total tragedy. I tried 25 years ago to get her to leave………before I even knew the word Narcissium. So yes….I know to well about the darkness of hell.
    The good thing is the light of freedom and the knowledge of what abuse really is has become a beacon of hope and a reason for living.
    There is no turning back once a Narc has been destroyed and pulverized out of my life. For Narcs there is No Quarter.

  • fostersteele@gmail.com'
    Foster Steele
    September 24, 2016

    Dear Mel,
    *****{WOW!!!..ABSOULMELUTING…MELAZING!…MELAZING! ..WOW!}*****
    Thank you thank you thank you as always your 2am timing is impeccable. Tray tables down, seats reclined, sit and sip your new favorite wine as you savour this. Exactly 27yrs ago I followed a light out of the darkness of the AIDS epidemic in North America and emigrated to London to commence my training as an RN. Graduated traveled the globe repatriated and settled in San Francisco. Still continuing an amazing rewarding dedicated career now specialized in E/R or A/E. However unknowingly all the while hosting a revolving door of parasitic Narcs. Then finally seven years ago I met “The Grand Poobah of Narcia”. Immediately upon first making eye contact with him I said to my companion OMG “I just experienced the deepest connection and communication I had ever had yet even believed possible in just one glance”. It very creepily said to me …It doesn’t matter when or where because we were going to connect and happen eventually thus resistance is futile. So you might as well surrender now and get this ball rolling. Well we never met that night as we soon left with me trusting listening and then later following my gut and the message. I tracked the bait and bit down hard on the hook. Cut to my heart and soul five years later we all know the colateral damage caused by two megamagnets like the such of us constantly colliding and separating on the rollercoaster cycles of NPD and abuse. Eventually two years ago not wanting to accept that the only way out was by one of our demise I finally found my holly trinity or trifecta of Cluster B Cluster Bombs.The Atomic Three, 1.) Sam Vaknin (aka My Vaccine because as the worlds first and foremost self outed Narc you need to inject yourself with his antibodies to the Narc virus to defend yourself). But just like the Hep B vaccination series of shots until your body coverts to antigen positve you’ll need self defence taught to you only by no one other than …2) The Spartan Life Coach Richard Grannon my anchor and rock through each of my Narcs Gaslightening Storms….3) Then finally my rainbow and ray of light from the other side fellow Light Worker from Down Under You Mel completed this trinity and my journey. You see after discovering all three of you two years ago when your three YouTube careers first really tookoff I would punish my self with mandatory viewing of your works and programs during each post gaslighting, discarding and ignoring phase my Narc dragged me through. Also of course each time promising my self and my dwindling support of friends and family it would be the last. Finally this month he carefully and methodically planned and orgistrated his most evil and cruel what my other Guru’s in this field describe as “The Grand Finale of Discards”. Meanwhile on the otherside of the globe back in London the first two of my Trinity members were plotting and inviting me to NARCOPOLYPSE! The Paradigm Shift Semminar on the hideous virus of Narcissism infecting Gia our planet. Well up until my receiving my Grand Finale Discard I had decided I was done and saturated with Narcs and any discusion on the topic. But after my Narc pulled the pin from his grenade right infront of me I instantly new the cost of the damage clean-up and my punishment/retaliation was going to need to be Atomic! So ironically after 27 long years I once again am following a light to escape a darkness and gobal epidemic infecting our planet on a catoclysmic scale. Yes I have packed my bags and waited 12hrs for my 12hr flight back to London for the very first time since my journey as a Lightworker all began. I now write to you from my hotel on the Thames the evening before our Narcopolypse. But more importantly I take you with me tomorrow deep in my heart and soul when together as Gia’s Light Workers we begin not our own but Gia’s Paradigm Shift out of the darkness and epidemic virus infecting her. We will lift and carry her back into her Most Beautiful Light Surving and Thriving! Wishing you Mel and Gia much peace and love from London.
    Love Foster

    • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
      FLH
      September 24, 2016

      My goodness…that was gripping reading 🙂🙂
      Good luck in London.
      I have had run ins with a well known esoteric narc…and some lesser known ones and it really does read like a novel sometimes.!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Foster,

      thank you for your amazing post!

      I LOVED reading it.

      We truly are living in amazing times 🙂

      Mel xo

  • pietere7@gmail.com'
    Pieter
    September 24, 2016

    Melanie I learned so much from all your teachings I had gone through till now. This one is so true that we as light workers must heal our selves to help other people (Walk the path of healing and so we can help others). Me and wife (N) had went for many therapy sessions – it didn’t work (40+ therapist). I know as human beings we must work with the root of the problem, take it out and put positivity in that place . Therapy had its place but most therapist only trim the branches – work on the symptoms – and there is no healing. I had a lot of wounds to heal and with this teachings I learn a lot and get healing. I see forward to help others as light worker so they can get their healing and life a live fulfilled.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Pieter,

      that is so wonderful that you are connecting to healing now.

      It is so true – that if we don’t heal we don’t heal!

      And surely that is what we want to achieve – more than anything in order to have a great life!

      How lovely you want to be this and spread it around!

      Mel xo

  • Obrien315@gmail.com'
    CalamityJane
    September 24, 2016

    Excellent video and breakthrough work, Melanie. I thank God I was directed to your site. Although I was able to break free of my abusers because of the ONE boundary I had, cheating, I was still attracted to this type of man. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I knew I had to dig deeper. I choose three cheaters. I saw your videos on You Tube and was compelled to continue watching every one I could find. Using your insights on the wounded child and focusing on my own saved me from choosing, yet another, narcissist. For the FIRST time in my adult life, I was able to walk away. I have forwarded your site to anyone and everyone I feel would benefit from your work. Thank you, Melanie. Thank you to all your staff for working with you to bring out this truth.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi CalamityJane,

      Thank you 🙂

      I am so happy for you that you awakened beyond the pattern!

      Thank you for spreading the word!

      Bless you, and please know on behalf of myself and MTE, you are very welcome.

      Mel xo

  • Katieshopsalwsys@aol.com'
    Katie
    September 24, 2016

    For me, the key premise is: Help those who genuinely want help; all others are fake and will use and abuse you.

  • lesdewsmi@yahoo.com'
    Leslie Smith
    September 24, 2016

    Pure brilliance. Thank you. Sending so much love, gratefulness, & appreciation for you: “Is this relationship/man a match for my life of love, approval, wholeness & respect for myself or not? And can I help up-level it by being more of me and continuing to shine, or not? And if it’s not, we leave it alone, and we still connect with other from love and live life with compassion, and authenticity wherever we go…without fear. We are already whole, so when an environment doesn’t represent upleveled behavior, we can move on from it easily. We have no attachment to the outcome because we are already whole.”

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Leslie,

      I am glad you enjoyed this …

      and that this resonated with you.

      Thank you for your comment Leslie.

      Mel xo

  • kimpossible3x3@gmail.com'
    Kim
    September 24, 2016

    I am currently going through a divorce from a narcissist and we have two children together. This is complicated by the fact that there is also a dependency case. We haven’t lived in the same home for about 4 years. I am ill, but I want to move on with my life. I’m not holding on. I try to have as little contact as possible. But there are circumstances that I cannot avoid, and his new favorite tactic seems to be to drag me into court time and time and time again, and we have been ordered into mediation, which my lawyer insisted I agree to. How do I navigate this?

    • valerieAwedel@gmail.com'
      Valerie Wedel
      September 24, 2016

      Hi Kim,

      I went through something kind of similar. Are you using the modules? I suggest you start them. As you shift our own energy there is less and less there for the other one to feed off of, and he will tend to unravel. In front of credible witnesses… Also it is good to organize your facts as facts, not as emotional declarations. See the difference? The modules are so powerful! Safe journey to you and yours –

    • valerieAwedel@gmail.com'
      Valerie Wedel
      September 24, 2016

      By the way, if you tell the mediator you are afraid, you can be in different rooms with the mediator as go between. But you will gain a stronger result perhaps if you heal enough to be in the same room. serious, the modules esp 1 – 4 can help you get to that point! And I loved 10 and did it many times to feel better and better… Blessings to you!

  • s.mir38@hotmail.com'
    Shabana
    September 24, 2016

    Hi Mel

    I’ve been working in mental Health for 12 years. Never really understood what my reasons were apart from I wanted to help people. I’ve had two narc relationships. The first one I was married to for 23 years. I divorced him and was left in financial ruin, the second one we were together for four years. The last year was absolutely dreadful an absolute emotional rollercoaster. I wanted him to see how his behaviour was affecting me. He never did, one day I woke up and decided I couldn’t be around this guy anymore. I was feeling ill and drained. After I left him I felt exausted. It was like I was recovering from an illness it’s almost been a year now since we broke up. This year has been a phonemonal year for me full of self discovery and growth . I have insight and skills I did not even know existed. My work has become very deep and fulfilling. A calmness has replaced the sadness and despair. Your articles have always come at the right time. Each time I hit a block an article appears talking me through that block . Hey Mel I thank you for your wisdom and sharing it.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 25, 2016

      Hi Shabana,

      I am so happy of you that you have anchored into making this about your gowth, development and freedom!

      How wonderful Shabana!

      You are so welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

  • amy050269@icloud.com'
    Amy
    September 24, 2016

    Mel,

    I loved this week’s show. I was able to relate with everything you said. I am so proud of tywork you have done and I to feel as if I had to fix everything and I have learned that if people what my help that they will come to me. I have two children with the NARC who abuse me and do not talk to me and as difficult as it is I had to walk away and try to always fix my relationship with them. It is to painful and they are just not ready to see the truth. In the meantime I continue to heal myself because when they do realize the truth I will be ready to help heal them as well. They choose me as their mother for a reason and they are really wonderful children and I believe that their purpose will also be to help, heal and serve others as well. As painful as it is now I believe the bigger picture is much more rewarding and beautiful.

    Thank you for your work and your shows. I to am a healer and you led me to the light. This is where I fell safe and loved and this is where I belong. I finally came home to where I always wanted to be.

    I have a lot of love in my heart for you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 25, 2016

      Hi Amy,

      I am so pleased you enjoyed it!

      It is so true that there is a bigger benevolent picture, when we take our hands off and continue to keep freeing ourselves of the pain – even the pain we have regarding “where others are at”.

      That is what creates the space for the healing to occur for all concerned.

      Keep up the great work Amy.

      Mel xo

  • valerieAwedel@gmail.com'
    Valerie Wedel
    September 24, 2016

    This was a great vid! Thanks, Mel –

  • ajseyder@hushmail.com'
    Amanda
    September 24, 2016

    Thank you Melanie for this powerful message.

    I’ve always struggled with the idea that attracting NA was my fault, and only felt the blame and shame of this. I couldn’t understand why after two relationships I still hadn’t figured this out!

    After listening to the NARP healings, and up levelling, I now understand that I couldn’t have fully accepted my Lightworker path without these narcissistic experiences. In my 21 year marriage to a N I also had ovarian cancer twice – the darkness really inhabited my body – and I worked hard to heal myself and have been cancer free for 13 years and counting. My soon to be ex-husband didn’t embrace the healing work I did, he stood back and let me do it myself, which at the time gave me space, but also made me feel very lonely. Now I have a new perspective that my separation from him started back then as I discovered my healing path as a Lightworker. My sacred contract with him and my soul was ending, and since then I have moved further and further away from him spiritually and emotionally until now I’m getting divorced.

    This has taken me 18 months to reach this realisation, and I am still healing using the wonderful NARP healings, and friends and family have commented on my radiance which I know is my light shining from the inside out.

    I am continually learning and growing and so grateful for this community. Thank you. xoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 25, 2016

      Hi Amanda,

      how wonderful you unravelled the wounds to be able to heal and feel and know the truth without ANY self-judgement.

      That is when our evolution starts to become very real and positively impactful for us.

      I LOVE That your True Self is now glowing through you!!

      My pleasure Amanda, and it is wonderful to have you as a part of our incredible Community!

      Mel xo

    • connie.wetzler@gmail.com'
      Connie
      October 17, 2016

      “I have a new perspective that my separation from him started back then as I discovered my healing path as a Lightworker. My sacred contract with him and my soul was ending, and since then I have moved further and further away from him spiritually and emotionally until now I’m getting divorced.”
      I did “20 years” with my now ex N husband. 4 years divorced. I told him he was absolved of any responsibility of karma and our sacred contract. Then all hell broke loose! Lol!
      I had a reading… I am also psychic/medium as clairsentient. I am connected to the angelic realms very strongly. I cannot see them. I’ve only heard them once, my last night in my home… “Lock the door, lock the door.” My ex let me have the bedroom as we were separated.
      My friend who does and hears them channeled them. They spoke through her of things only I knew, like my recent personal bank account and the amount of money. There were legions of angels in the room. They gave me specific instructions on how to get out of this marriage alive. They said he was supposed to be “a little shit.” No kidding! Angels cuss! Lol! A LOT! Especially when it came to my ex. He did not hold up his end of the bargain to just provoke me to grow. He turned to the dark side. They said if I followed their instructions and I lived, they would spare his life. They even sent blue light into his heart chakra to lessen his “evilness” and help me. NOT a good reading! Lol! I joke about it now, saying, I should have asked for my money back! The thing is, she gave me money back, told me I was going to need it and to save every penny and follow the instructions I was given. This was a 50 minute reading. She was told by the angels not to record it so it would not be found and used against me. I was in survival mode and totally focused and recalled every detail and jotted it all down immediately afterward. She said I am an angel who chose to come to earth for a specific mission. Light-worker indeed! Lol! On my drive home… I took my foot off the gas pedal and I should have slowed down but I didn’t, I just floated. I was so high with angelic energy and the presence of all who had accompanied me home! It was AMAZING! My life was spared because I have a mission as a light-worker, as an earth angel. We got a tough gig down here, for sure! Lol! And I have no regrets 🙂 Peace, love and light to you all!

  • thezhen143@gmail.com'
    Aviva Yunger
    September 25, 2016

    My Dear Worker Light

    Thanks for this amaizing video.

    All the way listening to you, I saw your white vibrant aurora all around your head and body.
    I relate to each word you said.

    Blessing of light
    Aviva Yunger

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 25, 2016

      Hi Aviva,

      awww thank you dear lady for your gorgeous comment.

      I am so glad this episode spoke to you.

      Bless you 🙂

      Mel xo

  • mallen22@hotmail.com'
    tinkerbell
    September 25, 2016

    I love the meaning and intention of everything you are saying. My two children are black (daddy is black) and white (because I am). I did some of these exercises with them and I used multi-coloured light instead of white light and I use “yucky feelings” or sad thoughts instead of dark because I notice that my oldest at 8 years old is starting to be affected how just about everyone says that darkness, like his skin, is bad, and whiteness or lightness (not like his skin) is pure/good/wonderful. I am not sure if this matters to other people of colour. And I am not completely sure how to navigate this for my children. I love, love, love what you do, Melanie, and I am sending young people your way who are engulfed with their sadness and cannot find help with cognitive therapy because I believe in what you do.

    Warmly,
    T

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 27, 2016

      Hi Tinkerbell,

      I am so pleased my work resonates with you!

      I truly believe the white light (Source) is unconditionally loving for all of us regardless of our colour, and it’s not really about the colour – it simply is Life-force and Divinity.

      What needs to be healed with this light is the trauma / fear of division and persecution.

      As can be all human illusions that are not Love and Truth.

      Bless you dear lady.

      Mel xo

  • hhartbruce@gmail.com'
    Helen Bruce
    September 25, 2016

    Hi Mel. Loving the video. Absolutely brilliant! I have always been labeled by Narcs as being too soft, too sensitive, too concerned with the well being of people I do not know personally, that this level of caring is way over the top, and other such accolades. Well, that is who I am – that is me, plain and simple. When I realized that a Narc, by their very nature will negate your very core because, you are being real and they cannot be real. They do not even have the slightest idea what that would feel like. So, when I began my work to up-level myself, and learned to love and appreciate who I am and that can bring value to the world, I experienced a huge shift. People who were rude and cruel to me sort of dropped off. I was not in a place where they can effect me anymore. Really freeing! I am developing myself as a person on all levels and being more involved in the health of our planet and people. To all the women and men who sent in their comments, I am so happy that things are working out. Lots of love, Helen

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 27, 2016

      Hi Helen,

      Thank and I am so pleased you liked it!

      How wonderful you have had that shift and are a Being helping lift our planet into healing.

      Lots of love to you too Helen 🙂

      Mel xo

  • jonassahlberg@hotmail.com'
    Olivia
    September 26, 2016

    As a transgender woman who was forced to be a false self and live as the wrong gender from the moment I was born, and growing up with a npd father and a very damaged somewhat narcissistic mother, my life has been really tough. I have been working Narp 2 1/2 years now, and I can not understand how I have survived some of the emotional trauma that I have been carrying. I am still peeling the endless onion, but at least now I have started enjoying doing the healings. 🙂
    Narp have by now saved my life so many times over I have lost count, thank You so much Melanie for Narp !, and for making it available for people everywhere. <3

    Since I realized that I am transgender I have had a hard time with feeling like what I have done with my life have any purpose. I basically worked totally against my true self until my mid 20s, so my life has been filled with suffering. And because my body went through the puberty of the wrong gender, and years of having the wrong hormones in it, it will never fully reflect my true self, no matter what I do. That has been extremely painful and really hard to accept.

    I realized when I was watching the video that everything I have gone through have made me able to relate to, and understand other people who struggle so much more. I have always been a lightworker, but as you said Melanie, you have to be healed enough before you can actually help people.
    It warms my heart to help, and I wish for everyone to actually live life, so I hope that I can somehow help people do that, and contribute to humanity becoming like that.

    Trans people are really struggling and not being understood as it is now in society, so it is dear to my heart to help make life better for future trans people. I would really like to share my life story for that reason, but I still have loads to work on, so It will have to be in the future. if you still do thriver shows then I would really like to do one, when I feel ready.

    Thank you Melanie for another great video, And Blessings to everyone.

    Love Olivia

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 27, 2016

      Hi Olivia,

      I am so pleased you found NARP, and I think it is a wonderful calling for you to heal your own trauma and then help other transgenders who have also been struggling.

      It’s wonderful that the video spoke to you Olivia and you are sensing and knowing your role in all of this.

      Many, many blessings to you Olivia, and thank you so much for your post.

      Mel xo

  • uoksainos@yahoo.com.ar'
    Sonia
    September 27, 2016

    When I grow up I want to be just like you Melanie 🙂
    A big weight just lifted off of my shoulders, piuhh!!! I don’t need to save the whole world but just my own self, God gracious me!!! What a relief…. or is it? For someone who has built a life around caring and looking after others, my motto being ‘in caring others I take care of myself’, now that I am left alone to take care of myself, I couldn’t care less!! I realize the N had to be in my life because, what would my life be if I don’t have a sick person to take care of? I couldn’t handle being with an absolute healthy person, perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, who doesn’t need any one to cater for their needs and whines?! I am struggling to find the motivation to follow your program (I already bought it), followed sistematically throu all modules (one once a day on average), and now I am lucky if I get to do it once a week, not that I don’t have a reason for doing it, you are very good at pointing us out millions of them, but I just don’t seem to take myself seriously enough (no wonder I find hardly anyone does). Usually if I don’t get results after a first or second try I give up, I know! Don’t even bother telling me what’s wrong with me, I just lack constancy and commitment (I never got married for that reason, I believe it’s called commitment phobia), which I believe is key to achieve just about anything.
    Anyhow, I love your videos, very inspirational, but the ones I get the most are the ones where you actually sit with someone and do the work, so I can force myself to do it too, sorry I am not your role model pupil, and my worst nightmare too :))

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 27, 2016

      Hi Sonia,

      that’s a fantastic shift knowing that you don’t have to carry others – rather simply really, just lighten yourself!

      Maybe Sonia come into the NARP Forum for some inspiration to do the work on yourself?

      Also, check out the beliefs that are blocking you from doing so ….

      Mel xo

  • earthangels716@live.com'
    Charlotte Phillips
    September 29, 2016

    I totally resonate with every word you said. My soul friend and I have been supporting each other over 18 years as we dove down into our
    childhood and ancestral wounds. We have often said we are the emotional garbage collectors. We live in what we call the root chakra of the United States. Birmingham Alabama. It is definitely getting lighter.
    I started with my immediate family (husband, children and friends) and now the last 5 years I have gone to the core with my original source, my
    father and mother. I am 57 years old.
    It has been excruciatingly painful to break free because of the child/parent guilt issue.
    But I know on a soul level we came to do this work. My dad finally said, go heal it on your own.
    Even then I kept returning and he would push me away or put ultimatives on me.
    here have been many parts within that have been waking up and healing back into the whole.
    Your videos are helping me as I dive even deeper into this last break away.
    I had a huge release today and ask for a sign that I am actually healing and then I found your videos.

    I do mirror work to heal these wounds on my own which is very powerful.
    Thanks for your wonderful videos.
    You are spot on!!

  • louise.souza@gmail.com'
    Louise
    October 2, 2016

    Hi, Melanie
    Please, help me…. I have read your free e-books yesterday, and felt strong about the no contact policy.
    But today I have already marked and erased his phone number for about 12 times. Blocked and turn out on whatsapp for a number of times.
    I feel very sad and confused. I know he is an abbuser, I want him away, I have no more contact with him since last thursday (he made the last contact), but why it is so damn hard to choose myself instead of erasing a number?
    Huge kisses from Brasil,

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 2, 2016

      Hi Louise,

      it is so painful when we go through this, and it is nowhere near logical.

      Truly, lovely lady … its only when we find within ourselves the young unhealed parts which are vulnerable, hooked and replaying original wounds with the narcissist that we can up-level and break free from the energy connection and torment.

      Please connect to my free resources http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/getstarted so that you can start finding out what this is really about, and how to heal from it.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • triciajoelle@gmail.com'
    Tricia
    October 3, 2016

    My mantra for the day “God help me”. I’m in the midst of a separation of about 24 hours and its getting nasty. Well, to the outside person, its nothing. To me who knows what he’s capable of-nasty. Because he has destroyed every friendship I’ve had, there is no one to talk to. Do you have a forum? Please. Help.

  • jcbrady89@yahoo.com'
    JC
    October 4, 2016

    A narcissist can also take the form of a Lightworker, no?

    Have you ever heard or met a sensitive or introverted narcissist? No joke, I think I know at least one, possibly more. I’m hoping Melanie will talk about them. An article in Psychology Today mentions this type of narcissist, but unfortunately doesn’t go into much information about it.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201609/the-real-narcissists?collection=1093092

    • wictoria.olofsson@gmail.com'
      Wictoria
      October 9, 2016

      I had narcissists telling me he was like me an Codependent with lots of spiritual skills and knowledge like i have and was saying he was medial like me (trying to take form as me?) yes he did know a lots of spiritual stuff, am not kidding. They are not in wrong town many of them, but the difference is he still ran away from healing his inner wounded child seeking darkness instead of light not wanting to heal. So JC you’re not wrong out at all.
      Very interesting, been thinking about this a lot ” A narcissit with spiritual knowing” and it has botherd me so much latest.
      Thank you for sharing the link i will have a look.
      Best regards Wictoria

  • wictoria.olofsson@gmail.com'
    Wictoria
    October 9, 2016

    This is so true what Melanie says, for many years ago when i went on my path of my beginning of my healing and i was also experiencing the beginning of my CPTSD i met an medium that helped me and i asked her why does this happen to me now in my life? ( i had actually things in my home happening and i was constantly botherd every night when i was gonna sleep i was patted on my head and did not stop until i gotten up and went to the computer to study spiritual stuff, the one that patted me showed me what i needed to learn).
    Then she looked at me and she said to me with a smile you are like me, she touched my chakras, my fire chakra and troath chakra and she said, theses are very strong, i can feel them. You are a child of light.
    I can see what you are doing and i can feel your vibrations, you have a life path as a light worker to help others.
    She said what she saw what i was doing, she saw me and she said you need to ground yourself now you have to stop flying Wictoria.
    It was Scarry she saw me exactlky what i was experiencing and doing, because what she said was true. I just gasped.
    She smiled at me. Then she helped me to see who it was because i could not see its face, it was all darkness. I just felt the immense love and caring and the vibrations and touch.
    And she described the person she saw, i was in shock it was my grandfather. She told me, he wants you to do what he refused to do, then she showed me dowsing. I went yess he was dowsing this i remember as an child, whole my male line knew this and looked for stuff and water with this of my mothers sibblings, she told me he tells me you can too, but he refused to do what he wants you now to do, you have the gift.
    I said you mean that i can see, Yes she said. She saw that too. I had refused too but now i was told by my grandfather from the other side i cannot refuse it, i need to do it. I am destined to help people with my gift and my life experiences.
    That evening i helped her as a medium. First time in my life, she showed me what i need to do and that i shall help people spiritually to help people to heal and as a medium.
    So Melanie is not wrong out. She is actually right folks.
    I always said to my friends too that sought for my help, I can help you but you know i need to heal myself too first from the neglect and abuse from my childhood from my alcoholic parents to fully be able to help others. they understand, but i help people in the scale i now can without using so much of my life force to be able to heal myself too. mini steps.
    My grandfather is watching over me every day as a guide to follow my progress and he help me to guide me on my path of healing.
    Thank you Melanie Tonia Evans for showing people, very profound.
    Much love. you do a great job hun. Hugs xox

  • connie.wetzler@gmail.com'
    Connie
    October 17, 2016

    YES!!! lightwkrker here! Angelic/Superconsciousness connection with many tools for helping heal others. My BIG contribution! I’ve done so much work and am always seeking for more tools for personal growth and healing. I asked my angelic guides for an answer on how to heal the pain of a broken heart from, not just the most recent narcissist but from many throughout my life, starting with my father and mother. Married 20 years to a passive/covert-aggressive narcissist which has been the most difficult to let go of. Divorced about 4 years now and still attracting narcissists and fearful of interacting with men. I was fearless, or so I felt, when I divorced. I had so much to give but I hadn’t grown enough to give, to be available to myself on every level. I’ve seen this reflected back to me, amplified, in every relationship. It’s been a long and expensive journey and I see this program as priceless!!! I am familiar with EFT, Theta Brain-wave Healing, Quantum healing, Energy Medicine, etc. etc. In my marriage I was constantly seeking answers to heal my marriage, to heal myself, to be responsible and accountable to why I was attracting/creating this trauma. It wasn’t until the very end of my marriage I “stumbled” upon a couple of authors that explained Covert-Aggresives and recently, narcissists.
    I have a mission and my first mission is to be my highest expression of my true authentic self! I became a Human Design Specialist and Human Design Relationship Coach. I love to help others and the more tools the better! I will be recommending this wonderful program to all of my clients, family and friends! Thank you, thank you, thank you! MUCH, MUCH LOVE!

  • jayne_makowski@arcor.de'
    best wifi signal repeater
    October 17, 2016

    The trial-and-error method will work to suit
    your needs eventually, nonetheless it’s a real waste of their
    time. Backup files tend to be obscured in folders that have the extension.

    Make likely to pick the one that re-broadcasts and is that will
    work with your 802. This will drastically improve your cellular phone signal
    strength. Wifi forstærker test 2015 Sony Play – Station 3 Slim (120GB) – Sony’s
    Play – Station 3 maybe considered a classic standard
    in relation to Blu-ray Players, but it really is one with the best players around.

  • geoff@gmt.net.au'
    Geoff
    October 17, 2016

    hi wow. I did not know anything about this.

    Today I reflected on my relationship with my narc partner and thought wow this pain and total loss I went thru is actually a good thing as without it how can I be creative in my future life without having know this type of personality.

    I had been in a narc and borderline relationship for 2 years which ended 2 weeks ago. I finaly had enough as didn’t care about the blackmailing threats and needed to move on. When I met her I heard her story and wanted to help and fix so much OMG… Since then I’ve been volunteering so much during the day in life helping the handicapped only to come home and be abused over and over…. I didn’t know I’m a light-worker wow but now it all makes sense. My partner hated my self-sacrificing spirit and didn’t understand why I always want to help people.

    Thanks so much as this will only help me build and grow stronger. I not hold back from sharing with others…

  • Deviem@xtra.co.nz'
    Deb
    December 3, 2016

    Hi Melanie, wow ! I have been seeing 11:11 or 9:11, 3:11 etc etc . By daughter was born 11 6 11 at 11 and have been only learning recently about light workers ! Don’t really knowing what to make of it really. I have been on so many spiritual paths since 22, broaching on enlightenment, reading so many self help books etc etc. always through my whole life getting so much joy in helping others, seeing them heal from something I said did bring light to my heart. But then they wouldn’t need me anymore so I’d move on and find someone else to heal ( I guess ) I’ve always suffered inside, but then know there is so much light as well. I have been in a 14 year friendship with a narssisist ( although i keep second guessing myself at thinking this of her, as feel bad about this if I am wrong ) but it has been so tough, so much abuse, conditions, manipulation, stalking, a little single white female, control, endless tears, I never feel worthy, always beneath, Etc etc. I have gone no contact for 8 weeks now and only found you on here as I was missing her and wanted to see what to do about it. And then your video came up and honestly I feel like I have never nodded in agreement to what you said before in my life. I just got you, got it, you gave me tingles, there are also tears from my eyes. I always felt there’s something else, but then why would I believe I’m chosen, or special so I brush it off, thinking don’t be silly you are just a number in a giant universe, but then consciousness speaks again going against this theory ! I dont know but am so pleased I found you and connected, thank you x

  • dbaldino1960@gmail.com'
    Debbie
    February 7, 2017

    Hi Melanie– I just sent you an initial comment on my situation in another post. Mine is a long sad story with my narcissist– who — I never even had a ‘real’ relationship with where we dated normally- I never met his friends or family– he used the excuse first that he wanted to wait till his kids were older–we separated after me seeing no upgrade to our relationship after 7 years of waiting for the upgrade… And it didn’t come- separated 3 years– then reconnected– his kids out of college then but now his excuse was his life was not his own– because he was the main caregiver for his 94 year old Dad and 93 year old step mom with Alzheimers— I myself at this point had my 91 year old mom with me— so I kind of understood–that it kind of made sense the relationship had to stay kind of low key—- but he ALWAYS fed me the HOPE that we were going to end up together–
    Let’s just enjoy the times we can spend with each other for now—It’s a long story if you could find my other post from today it explains everything—(even the prior relationship I had with him before my husband))–but now I’m talking about our 232nd time around– after 14 years altogether leading me on– He recently discarded me because I called him out. I told him I have been really reading the Bible and feel that the two of us have been fake Christians—-and that I wanted to be a truer more faithful Christian—- and boom– he was pretty much gone and won’t talk to me now–
    Now not only am I a really nice looking woman— I am extremely sweet–demur and submissive by nature– the type of woman who wants to put her man on the pedestal. You see I think in every relationship–every person fits in one of two molds— You either are the “type” of person who. #1) Wants& Needs a Prize………or…….
    You are the “type” of person who
    #2) Wants& Needs to BE THE Prize

    I have always thought I should write a book on that subject— because I believe it’s so true

    I obviously have always wanted and needed to HAVE a Prize !!! What I look for in a man— is first and formost-
    ATTRACTION—which to me has been in my lifetime as RARE as finding a piece of gold on the ground !!!!! So for me– what I seek– what I want and need in a mate is someone I view as a prize—– I do not like being the prize to the other person. But the trick is finding someone I could feel an attraction for– I won beauty pageants growing up- many guys wanted to go out with me– but I was attracted to none of them— until the unattainable narcissist came into my life— now his attention fed my ego— and only his attention
    Therein lies my problem— so I have wondered— am I a narcissist also ???? The only reason I feel confident that I’m not– is because I have such a good and true heart– I have never in my life used a man to buy me things etc and lead them on–the way my Narcissist has done to me— because I have a heart and a conscience— I could never lead someone on that I knew liked me and I didn’t feel the same. I would never want to hurt someone like that– In fact because I have always been so ultra picky – as to the chemistry thing- I have been alone for many years of my life– because I know myself — I want the attraction– that’s all I want— I will not force myself just to be with someone that I’m not attracted to just because they are a great and good person— if the chemistry is not there in the beginning— it does not grow — it just dosnt– and I would not ever want to lead men on or hurt them— because I know I have a good heart. But I know I must have some kind of problem— I have wondered if I was perhaps a massachist ??? If I never had a good healthy 2-way love relationship like I did with my husband— I would say I just might be– because other then my husband– the other 2-3 relationships I had were with a narcissist or emotionally unavailable person—-
    Meeting my husband and finally having a real 2 way love with someone I viewed as a prize was the best feeling in the world—- and for me— was like a miracle-
    Long story I put in the other post- but we had 4 beautiful kids- and I was blessed to have that happy love for a lot of years before our breakup due to him getting involved with drugs-(he unfortunately was a self destructive personality….smoked alot- Frank a lot b-4 the drug issue–but a really good true person)- me getting a legal separation from him then seeing my prior Narcissist from before I met my husband– talk about the worst mistake of my life!!! 7 years seeing him again but I allowed him to disrespect me all in the name of attraction and how valuable that was to me—no upgrade in7 years- then I went back with my husband to try to mend things- we had only 3 years as he had gotten cancer and died a horrific death at the age of 59– it was all complicated and gut wrenchedly sad-
    Then about a year after my husband died I was back with my Narcissist—then 6 more years with him till he just discarded me finally 4 months ago– due to me calling him out in a big way and he didn’t want to deal with the guilt he would have to feel I guess so he has totally cut me off——- and I feel that short of getting a lobatamy I will never recover from this person. Now my Narcissist is 65 years old this year—I honestly felt this guy loved me in his own wierd way and I truly loved- love him unconditionally– no matter how unfairly he has treated me— I have always just accepted what he was capable of giving me- and I always just accepted it his way because he always led me to believe when he was ready to settle down it would be with me–
    And that— HE- was that dream person I always wanted—and I believed I was going to have one day– that I would be the last girl standing— because no one else could ever adore him as much as me!!! But now find myself 56 and totally alone– I have never dated anyone else in all these years— he is all that I have known—he’s all I want for myself for the rest of my life—- I now I am faced with having to accept it was all a lie— and he can just skip off to someone else like i never even exsisted—- when he was everything to me!
    I don’t have a lack of confidence for I know I’m a good looking woman who could get a lot of men to want to date me— and unknow in java a good and honest kind heart–
    My problem is and always has been::
    MY INABILITY to FIND A MAN I CAN
    BE ATTRACTED TO !!!!!! They simply don’t exsist—- in my entire 56 years of life I can count on ONE hand how many men I have ever been able to find even a shrewd of attraction for !! And when I have found it-
    I felt like it was GOD ORDAINED for me because it was like so rare for me to find– it was like a miracle !!!! So that is the main problem—- I have been strong enough of a person to put up with years upon years of being alone and by myself– I have never just gone from one person to another just to be with someone— no for me it is more a spoiledness maybe–‘- that I want what I want and if I can’t have it– I will have nothing—–But lonliness sucks—- so that is the reason I have my sometimes that I was happier to be with my Narcissist on his terms— then to not have him in my life at all—that is why I have accepted his crumbs and accepted a disrespectful relationship as long as I have-
    Because I know me— and I know that the reality of me finding another man that I can feel this kind of attraction for….( or for that matter ANY kind of attraction for)— is quite honestly slim to none. I had a hard enough time in my 20’s finding it—so at 56 !!-
    I doubt it highly—- and I’m just being realistic here !!!! So for me—- I feel there really is no answer—– if I was the kind of woman who found attraction and some chemistry with men easier– I wouldn’t be so depressed– for it would be easier to say– well there’s other fish in the sea– I’m moving on to find another better one for me-!!! So….I have a big problem because I don’t have a lot of Hope that I will ever find any other man attractive not even a little. Believe me I would be really happy if I could just feel a small amount of an attraction for someone– enough to grow due to him being a good person etc—
    But realisticly I know the chances of that like I said are slim to none! For literally I have looked thru thousands of guys pictures on dating sites— and I will find ZERO attractive—
    So— I have a really really wierd problem–
    Have you ever heard of anyone else like me with this wierd delema ??? I honestly don’t like being mistreated—-i just have put up with it because I can’t seem to find attraction to a man with a good heart…..(except for the fluke of my husband)–…..now I live in the past putting our wedding video on and remembering how happy I was then—…and knowing that outside of my husband– the only other man that made me just feel happiness was my narcissist— and now i feel I don’t have any source of real happiness at all in my life and it’s very depressing and is taking everything I have right now not to literally beg him to come back to me —part of me so wants to do that and the other part wants me to hang on to my self-worth.

  • artisanbone@aol.com'
    Yvette
    February 17, 2017

    Melanie, I am so glad I found your website. I am 8+ months into the divorce process with a very aggressive and antisocial narcissist whom I was married to for 23 years, lived with for 25 years, and trauma bonded to for 29 years. A few weeks back I hit a low and was fearful that my body was going to give up. Once a sun lover (I live in Florida), I started to realize I was becoming agoraphobic. I didn’t know the sunshine could hurt. 🙁 The symptom that disturbed me the most though was the obsessive thinking about the narcissist and the injustice of his continuing abuse that he is playing out in the court. My cry was: “I’d do anything to turn the switch with his name on it off in my head!” Shortly after, a wise friend sent me a video from your sight and I have been on here every day since. It is saving my life. I want to be free of him and I want to live out the life I was created by God to live. Very long story short, I have always been attracted to the spiritual life. Over the past two years I have been training in lay counseling for trauma and abuse. When I was a teenager, I was enamored with John Bradshaw and watched him on PBS. He was the therapist that coined the phrase “inner-child”. I had forgot about that until last year when I began my lay training. Memories also returned of being in early elementary school and wanting to help others learn about child abuse once I had discovered it was a reality. My NA entered my life at 13 years old, needless to say, the trajectory of my life became about securing and then fixing him for the next 29 years dragging him to everything that I thought could set him free. Last year I finally realized that I was trying to get from him what I was meant to get as a child and that no matter what I did, I could never get today what I was meant to get then, and I needed to become the adult that cared for me and gave me what I needed. One of those things was to go to school; I felt free enough to acknowledge and voice my desire to return to college to get my degree and become a therapist. I let my grip on him go and started to enforce boundaries. Eventually he left me and my three children in an unannounced but dramatic fashion and served me with divorce papers 3 weeks later. I had to drop out of school (because he also took all the money), which was the second time in my life I had to drop out of school because he left without warning (the first time was 22 years prior – oh how I wish I would have learned then). I know I am meant to heal and pursue my call as a lightworker. I know that is what this whole experience has been about. I am so glad I found your website. It is a true source of life and healing to me and I will do whatever I can to help others heal from this kind of crazy-making abuse and live their one and only life with joy and delight and freedom.

  • Jwoods@yahoo.com'
    J Woods
    February 20, 2017

    Thank you for putting this msg out into the world. You’ve confirmed something I’ve been hearing inside for awhile: mainly that all this happened so I might finally acknowledge my own self and be free of the broken parts keeping me from truly joining the light I’ve sought since I was a child. While watching I found myself smiling and shaking my head yes, yes! My light bows to your light.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *