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The warning signs that a narcissist is getting ready to discard you can be quite blatant, others are less obvious but ALL are very painful.

They may go missing in action, they may be spending a lot of time away because they’re detaching from you, which could signal the narcissist has another source of supply that they’re going to jump ship onto.

And quite tragically if you have been emptied out and there’s nothing more to take or gain from you, the discard is probably right around the corner.

Believe me, I’ve been there – it happened with both ex-narcs and I won’t lie, it was excruciating.

Inevitably, this black and white individual will decide that you are no good, that you need to be thrown in the trash, that you are bad, horrible, that the relationship was your entire fault and they have to smear you. They have to discredit you. They have to make themselves out to be the wonderful person.

This latest Thriver TV video will reveal why the discard hurts so much and what I did, and you can do too, to truly recover from it. Moving on is an option that is within your reach!

 

 

Video Transcript

Today we’re going to be looking at why narcissists discard you, why it hurts so much and what you can do to truly recover from this.

I can hear you saying, “How can this person say they love me and then throw me away like I don’t exist? Why do I feel like my heart is broken and I can’t even breathe and I’m not going to survive after being discarded?”

It truly is one of the cruellest things that you could ever go through. If you are in the problem stages with a narcissistic relationship where it’s really cracking apart, or you’ve been cruelly discarded and you are feeling like you’re not going to get through this, this video is so for you.

 

Signs A Narcissist Is Getting Ready To Discard You

Let’s start off with our first talking point, which is how do you know a narcissist is getting ready to discard you and what can you look out for so that you can prepare?

The first one is that a narcissist goes missing in action. They’re spending a lot of time away. They’re detaching from you. That could be a sign that a narcissist has another source of supply that they’re going to jump ship onto. That can definitely be one of the warning signs.

Another one of the warning signs could be when you are laying boundaries and you’re speaking up for yourself and you’ve had enough and what the narcissist may do in that case is they could try and do the pre-emptive strike first. It’s like – you’re going to leave me, well, I’m going to break off the relationship first, I’m going to leave you first – because this is an ego protective mechanism for the narcissist.

Another sign can be if, and this is a really sad and a really horrible sign, but if you are broken and you’ve been emptied out and there’s nothing more to take or gain from you, or you have a serious health issue, the narcissist will discard you.

Because as far as the narcissist is concerned, it’s all about them and they don’t have any Inner Self to grant to you. They don’t have the emotional resources to make it about you.

So, if it becomes all about you because you need support absolutely, well, then the narcissistic rage is triggered, β€œHow dare you want my energy, I’m here to get your energy. I am going to have to leave you.”

This could also be if you just had a major crisis in your life where you’ve lost your job or you’ve lost somebody dear to you or something terrible has happened in your life, emotionally a narcissist may just ditch and run, which, of course, is incredibly painful.

But if this is happening in your life, it’s really important for you to start preparing yourself and getting support systems and trying to get some connections outside of the narcissist, so that the fall from grace with the narcissist is not going to be as painful as what it could be.

Also too, it’s important for you to start preparing yourself for the possible hoovers and I’m going to talk about that a little bit later in this video, we’re going to cover that. But for now, it’s just really important to know that no matter what comes out of the narcissist’s mouth, “I would never leave you,” and all these things that they say, any one of those three things could be a warning sign that a narcissist is about to discard you.

Another thing is that you may be having the cycles, and we all do with narcissistic relationships, where you have the blow up. You have the abuse cycle, and then what happens is you get back together and everything seems like it’s going to be fine or you hope it’s fine, tension builds and then you have another blow up again.

Well, one day the blow up could be so big and so ugly that it is the end of the relationship because that’s how narcissistic relationships generally go.

 

During And After The Discard

Now, let’s have a look at what is likely to happen during the discard and after the discard.

Well, definitely during the discard, you may be shocked to find out how cruel a narcissist can be, because when they have decided that they’re going to discard you, this black and white individual has immediately decided that you are no good, that you need to be thrown in the trash, that you are bad, horrible, that the relationship was all of your fault and they have to smear you. They have to discredit you. They have to make themselves out to be the wonderful person.

When this happens, you’re going to be shocked. You’re going to be horrified. You’ll be accused of things that you couldn’t even think of, let alone do.

Not only have you got the horrible trauma of a breakup of a relationship and all of the fallout that happens with narcissistic breakups, you’re also going to feel like, β€œHow could I have ever believed this person loves me” or the heartbreak really is the person who’s meant to love me can treat me so horrifically.

Of course, you’re going to be devastated. This person, you will discover, doesn’t care about you moving forward. They’re not going to say, “Okay, well, we split up now, what would you like? How can I help you move on and what’s fair?”

It’s not about that. It’s really about – I’m going to punish you as much as I can and I’m going to get as much stuff as I can and I’m going to make your life as difficult as I can, because they’ve decided that they hate you.

With a narcissist, it’s either you’re up on a pedestal or you’re their worst enemy. There’s not a great deal in between, so that’s what you can expect.

During the discard is disgusting. After the discard, anything goes and it can be very confusing and it can be intensely painful because you may have things that you are trying to get your head around, such as being able to work, function, get a settlement, be able to rebuild your life.

You’re dealing with this incredible trauma bond that is beyond explainable, because you will literally feel like your life support has been cut off and you feel like you’re going to die and you’re losing your mind.

I’ve talked about peptide addiction in the past and I’d really like you to go and have a look at my resource about that so you understand what you’re going through, but also really make sure you come back to this video, because it’s very important what I’m going to share with you.

With this, there is just so much trauma in a discard. Discard is one of the most painful things that you could go through. What can be likely to happen is the narcissist may replace you very, very quickly, because as far as a narcissist is concerned, they want to punish you because all of the relationship problems in the end were your fault and that’s just what false selves do. They’re very nasty. They’re very vengeful.

So they may throw another person in your face very, very quickly and maybe this person they had on the sidelines waiting and they were toggling between the two of you. You see, the thing is when a narcissist is getting close to a discard, what they will do is set up other sources of narcissistic supply. That’s very normal that there are other people in the picture.

 

The Narcissist’s Hoover

Now, what a narcissist may also do is hoover you and what this means is if you pull away and you get strong enough or you just have to be that way, you start pulling away and you’re licking your wounds and you’re trying to get on with your life and you’re trying to work it out and if you don’t come back begging and pleading and all the things that we’ve all done, the narcissist may come back to hook you back up again and it’s not about love. It’s not about care. It’s about an ego injury.

The ego injury is, well, if you don’t make contact and you don’t beg and plead and you don’t come back, well, oh my God, it must mean that I’m not significant and I’m going to have to go back and reel you in again, not for love, not to take responsibility, not to create solution and healing in the relationship, but to get that ego feed.

Then I can play with you again, like a cat and a mouse. I can reel you in. I can give you false promises. I can hurt you some more and then I can throw you away again.

That’s an incredibly painful cycle to get into with a narcissist after a discard. It’s horrible and I know a lot of you have suffered that as I’ve suffered that as well.

 

Abuse By Proxy

Now, after the discard, you will find that you could suffer abuse by proxy. The narcissist may get authorities on to you. They may lie and smear you, people could turn against you. People could take the narcissist’s side and come at you.

You could have your children alienated from you and generally what will happen is everything that the narcissist was doing is what they’re going to accuse you of doing. It’s not an easy time. It is such a painful time. This is why it’s so painful. It’s not like a normal relationship breakup with a decent person.

I shared a meme the other day, which was; “You really know a person’s wounds when you try to have a relationship with them.” That’s definitely true about the narcissist and you also get to know their wounds when you’re in a breakup with them. You’re going to see the worst of the worst.

 

How To Use The Discard To Your Best Advantage

What is so important with this discard is in that horrific trauma of this – is to be able to pull away, go and get some support. I totally recommend you to lean into this community and especially if you are really ready to heal those deep wounds that are keeping you trauma bonded and hooked up in there and feeling like you’re going to die, when massive survival programs are triggered.

That’s when it feels the worst. It feels worst at the end of a relationship, as opposed to when you’re discarded, it feels worse than when you’re in it fighting for your Soul. It really does and I really want you to understand that.

In that time, my highest suggestion to you is to not be a sitting duck for a hoover to come back in, to go through the horrific trauma of seeing another person in your face, to go through the massive persecution programs when you’re being abused by proxy, when you’re having to try to face legal situations to be able to get some of your life earnings and work out of the relationship to move on with.

The most vitally important thing, of course, is to stop yourself crawling and going back to the narcissist, because it just feels so traumatizing, you don’t think you’re going to survive it.

That’s the time when we’d go back and we try to fix things and turn crumbs into cookies and hand over more of our boundaries and our rights and our truths and our values to avoid going through that dark night of the Soul and that’s really dangerous.

That’s what leads to incredible breakdowns that may be very hard to come back from, from narcissistic abuse. The most important thing that you can do in this aftermath to be able to take advantage of the discard is to let go to the best of your ability, get space, put boundaries up where you are not in the fray of the conversations and the attacks or the hoovers or the madness, and really turn inwards to start healing yourself.

Because you will take your power back, you’ll take your sanity back, your Soul back and you’re going to be able to navigate what’s coming up, which is all of the things I’ve talked about.

Narcissists don’t just walk off into the sunset, give you a hug and say, “Okay, let’s do the fair thing. I hope you’re going to be okay. Call me to help you put up shelves in your new house. I’m here if you need me.” Narcissists don’t do that.

You’re going to go to hell and back. So what is important with that is that you’ve got the most emotional solidness and strength and support with really important coping tools, healing tools, and a community that can help you.

If you know that your relationship is cracking at the edges and any of those three things I talked about are there, we all know deep down, we know, we just don’t want to know that it’s getting very close to the end or you’re getting close to walk.

Because the thing is too, if you’re getting close to let go and walk, the narcissist could do the whole flip around and go, “Well, I didn’t want to be with you anyway. As far as I was concerned, it was the end anyway and I’m out of love with you,” or whatever they’re going to say. They’re going to want to claim the discard. You’re going to feel discarded. That’s how these endings go.

 

Conclusion

If you know, or you suspect that’s coming up, or that you have to leave, or if you are presently discarded and you’re in the shocking trauma of this, then I know how much my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program can help you.

The reason it can help you is because it can get that pain, that feeling like you’re going to die and those bonds to this shocking person – it can get them out of your being and reprogram you with strength, calm, personal power and sanity to be able to get through this and get through this quickly and powerfully. I can’t recommend it enough.

If you want to check that out, there’s a click to that link at the top right of this video, and also too, it’s in the resources in the description below. There is a ton of my resources, many of them are free, which you can connect to that will help you and I really recommend to you my 16-day free program and/or my webinar.

But if you’ve had enough and you are really ready to get your power and your relief back starting today at a deep cellular level, well then NARP is the fast-track way to do that. It’s my best resource, my A resource.

I really hope that this has helped and it’s really armed you to let you know what could be coming up, what you can expect and so that you can get really clear and smart about this. Because how you get through the end is going to have a lot to do with your rebuild going further.

As always, I look forward to your comments and your questions below and interacting with you there.

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39 thoughts on “Why Narcissists Discard You And Why It Hurts So Much

  1. This is SO eye opening. I need the free workshop SO much. Tried to sign up but don’t know why it won’t allow me.

  2. Looking back now over a year later, it is so clear. The devaluation started very shortly after we’d moved in together. The hot/cold behaviour. The huge blow up, the name calling in front of his family, the humiliation. The sudden interest in β€˜new’ female friends. The β€˜urgent’ trips abroad and late nights at work. I still feel so stupid for trusting him when my inner being was shouting at me to walk away. These posts remind me how far I’ve come and how lucky I am to get away and also to not fall for the random Hoover attempts. It hurt so much because I put him first- even before myself- and that was my mistake. Now I am working on being a source of love and approval for myself instead of looking outside of me for it. Thanks Mel! Hugs to all you Thrivers!

  3. Have you ever talked about. When a narcissist becomes abusive? In my case he attacked and strangled me. Even after all …. restraining orders, begging to be able to come back, promised me the world, couples counseling, 1 thing I insist on to let him anywhere near me ever was being DX by forensic physiatrist. Refuses. Can NARP. Help me get over the trauma of the horrendous/ debilitating attack. Sad thing is I did not defend myself. Only god know why he let go and did not kill me. That itself why did I NOT fight back.

    1. Hi Diane,

      I am so sorry that you have gone through that. My heart goes out to you.

      Please know that absolutely so many people in this community have been through terrible abuse, including physical – including myself.

      100% I recommend NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp for every abuse, including the most heinous from a narcissist.

      Sending you love, hugs and healing

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  4. My situation was different, in that it’s my parents, mostly my Mother. Ignoring me in young adulthood when I was off doing my thing, responsibly earning my own money, having a healthy life. She wanted to know more, to take credit, to bathe in the accomplishments I had, and at the time, I had no idea that was a problem…I let it go on for a decade or more without knowing. Then, there was the stealing of my keys to make copies to get into my apartment (a home she’d never helped me move into, which was fine by me, but my parents also didn’t pay anything for…so there was no reason to have them feel access was theirs)…this was so she could have an affair with one of my Dad’s friends there. I had no clue what was going on until a neighbor bumped into Mom and then later told me about it, months later, thinking I knew Mom was using my apartment or coming by when I was travelling with my job! Of course, in healthy families, this is what parents sometimes do, so why would the neighbor think anything was wrong? I could go on and on with stories, but I started putting up boundaries then, and slowly over the next decade due to betrayals, lies, secrets, hot/cold rejections, etc. My Dad joined in when I think he suspected her lies, to protect what they had in their toxic secrets together, and over time, the two of them rejected me for my boundaries that were about acceptance, not confrontation, but not putting up with this toxic, rejecting, secrecy type of non-love. Mom hated seeing me happily in love and married, tried to cut that down and create fake drama between me and my sisters when we’d visit, or between me and my parents when nothing would work…she tried gossiping or making up stories about things I said, but I set the record straight with others who would tell me about it. I stopped doing much with my parents or sisters, since all four now play the game. The rejection began when I stopped playing along, and it was fierce, an immediate shutting me off, and when I pretended not to notice (yes, it was hurtful), then they came running back, “Oh, we are not perfect parents, so sorry, we miss you, we know we just try to do our best…” and I came back, of course! It would be okay a little while, then the exact same things would continue to happen,the games the rejecting, the trying to control the narrative. I could not understand what this dynamic was, until about two years ago, in a session someone had recommended I go and do (I had already done counseling but nobody mentioned narcissism), and the gal heard one story and said, “Oh, your Mom has borderline personality disorder most likely but for sure she’s a full blown narcissist, and your Dad by now goes along codependently because they’ve been together so long.” Reading up on it, finding Melanie’s blog right away, wow! It’s been so helpful! Now I understand they cannot really help themselves but also I don’t have to sit by and feel there was something more I should or could say or do to change how toxic it is. My life is SO much better without all that. I am so happy, and my marriage improved the past two decades of leaving that behind, too. Sure, the holidays come and it hurts a little,but once you realize there is no magic formula to help people come around, you are FREE!

    1. OH and I have to say, that wasn’t clear in my post above: My marriage improved! It was not something that ended, it just got better the more I worked on myself, the boundary-setting with the toxic family, not being so worked up about pleasing them or what I was doing wrong. I realized that wasn’t love and it helped me to realize I was so lucky I had a healthy idea of marriage and unconditional love all along! What I had with family was wrong, and I had realized it even before I met my husband, thankfully. I had done some work on myself and the family I could not understand, so I am grateful I have a loving husband and a great marriage…but the static of my unhealthy parents is in my rear view mirror and it certainly has helped in every single relationship I have.

      1. Hi JOinDC,

        I really want you to know that you are not alone. There are many people in this community healing from a narcissistic parent.

        If you google my name plus any specific topic about that, I hope you will find many of my resources that can help.

        Much love to you

        Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  5. Yes I been through all of these discard cycles and after getting out the need for validation and accountability from the abuse mind games and the rest was so strong whilst trying to work out who what and why because I had no idea I was with a narcissist and a friend in the circle who happened to be one too. They both had me internalise I was wrong and no matter how hurt or frightened I was and felt very afraid to speak up set boundaries etc. So much gas lighting had me perceiving the abuse as my fault when it was ambient abuse. I now realise what happened but only after I got out. I realise now any narcissist will use your wounds against you they have little ability to hear see or relate with anyone else. Thanks a validating post.

  6. These posts are always on track of where I’m at with my narc husband. I am grateful to Melanie for her insight and knowledge and look forward to doing the whole program. Dealing with lawyers and house right now is stressful and a lot of work whilst getting back my strength. Thank you

  7. Wow, reading this post was exactly how it all went down. We split over 9 years ago, it was 6 years after that that he dragged it on by never appearing in court to settle, never paid child support , took the entire business that we built from scratch together and left me unemployed, smeared me to all of my support, people who I thought were best friends. After my father passed away suddenly I fell apart a bit. Short of the long of it is exactly what is written in the blog.
    After years of battling, struggling to survive, my children and I even being homeless at a couple of points.
    I have moved country, I moved 10000km from him. Told him I would completely financially support our children or I would be back with a court order, he didnt ever want the kids fulltime as ‘you know me, I like my freedom ‘… his words. It’s been nearly 2 years, we came over with a suitcase and I have not felt this strong and this free in nearly a decade. I’m still to afraid to put myself out there for another relationship, still blame myself sometimes and listen to the things he said. But deep down i knew I had to choose whether I wanted to live or not

    1. Hi Justine,

      that took so much courage to walk away and leave without anything … but I totally agree with putting your soul first.

      Sending much love to you and your children.

      Please know it is very possible to do the healing journey to be able to connect to another relationship lovingly, in your power and safely.

      I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to learn more about this.

      I hope this can grant you hope!

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  8. Hi Melanie, it’s been 2 years since i received my Get out of Jail free card, I mean Discard ha, and life is beautiful on the other side so nice to be back normal again, Blessings Col.

  9. Thanks Mel – another great video resource. The discard in her wake was so much worse than living it, while in the covert relationship. The aftershock was so intense that I said to myself – time to heal is NOW. I am 5 months into the NARP program – so grateful for my progress!

  10. Hello! Very good resource. Thank you. I wonder if you ever talk about how adult children abuse their parents in this way…..walk away from them when they’re sick, or treat them badly when they are sick. I had a situation in my family where my brother’s wife was very sick with pancreatic cancer. All but 4 of their adult children (the 4th one was still in high school so he was stuck at home and had to deal with it) walked away from their mother, and father. Very little to no physical and emotional support. My sister-in-law ended up dying. I gave up along the way, i think when she saw her own kids not be around her. I ended up being her main caretaker and the the behaviors I saw from her kids were shocking to me. They even blamed her for getting sick. Would be great if you talked about this dynamic. Thank you!

    1. I have 2 narc adult children, turned out just like their Dad. Only interested in me when I would babysit their children, now they are teens . I never hear from them now, just not interested unless there is something in it for them. At least I know what I am dealing with so wont expect anything in the future. I just move on and enjoy life with people who do appreciate me. I cant change them, so whatever.

  11. You are amazing Mel !! Your insight, experiences and information have proven to be worth more than gold. You made everything seem crystal clear. I can’t believe how many times I have thought to myself, β€œOh my gosh!!! That is exactly how things are!” I have been blessed with support all along the way. I got my finances back from him and everyone saw what he was for years before I did. Or maybe more accurately, before I acknowledged the truth that I had been ignoring. A lot of lessons and healing from past wounds have taken place because of your guidance. You are a blessing and so is your work to so many. Much love πŸ™‚

    1. Hi Gail,

      thank you for your kind words and I’m very pleased that I could help.

      I’m so pleased that you are doing so well and have been supported.

      Many continued blessings and much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  12. Wow I told my ex 1 day that I had enough and that I wasn’t happy she then broke up with me the next day and eventually got bk with her ex its just so true and crazy how they behave.

  13. Hi Melanie,

    Thank you so much for once again speaking up to validate the pain that a horrific Narc discarding inflicts on their ‘loved’ ones.

    Again, I bless you and your work and honor your dedication to this community.

    I am forever grateful for your guidance in my own healing. Words fail me to express the depth and breadth of what I have discovered about myself and about Reality post Narc trauma. Today, I would not trade anything for what I have gained in insight, experience, and understanding of my Quantum Oneness with Source that you gave me through NARP, despite the cosmic pain price I had to pay to cry out for help.

    I truly can feel only gratitude for the NARP Quantum healing that was the only way out of the pitch blackness that seemed to take over my life after the Narc discard. I had no idea how to get free. Then God sent you. And now, I am not only free, but stronger and in a deep place of peace and unshakeable strength. No man is expected to come assess my worth one way or another – which seemed to be a program I was running inside which left me vulnerable to deception.

    Also, NARP is not just for recovery – it truly is the key to thriving. So I can keep intensifying the power I gained – which acts like a mosquito zapper to Narcs πŸ™‚ ! It’s a joy to be free.

    Melanie – I bow to the Divine and Perfect in you…and Celebrate this NEW LIFE

    Namaste
    (Looking forward to seeing you next week)

  14. I have been ready to leave. I feel he will play the martyr. I have three sons and can not imagine what this might do to them. I do not have financial resourse’. I don’t know when to make the move. Where can you live for five hundred a month?

  15. Being with a Covert N, there was no overt physical violence. It was essentially, I was no longer needed to support him through a very tumultuous time in his life. Catching him out in lying, increasingly putting me off to see him and then an invite to the FB harem page where he lied about an incredibly important part of his life put me right off. When confronted as this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, his excuse was to see how someone else would respond. It made me sick inside. A lie on top of a lie. The cognitive dissonance unravelled at a phenomenal rate and within 2 days, I said goodbye. I put me first at that point. My intuition agreed when an incredible calm came over me. I realized by ignoring those red flags, I’d put my own health in danger and I’d been participating in an exercise of futility. I’d followed the same pattern AGAIN. My excuse was there was no future. I didn’t even acknowledge that second lie. There really was no point and if I had to point it out again, then who truly was the fool here? It was through Mel’s program that I began to heal. I began to truly understand the false core beliefs I’d held, my issues with trust, my lack of boundaries and giving my power away caused these repetitive cycles in my life. I’m grateful to have come to this point of connection with my Inner being, my Soul and the awareness that follows. I continue to work with building that relationship with myself and to ‘see’ the egoic form that lives within me and disconnect from it. This is the next phase in my journey and it is Mel who started me off. Take that next step. You will be so glad you did : )

  16. Almost 4 years of an on and off relationship with a Narc who stalked me after I lost my husband. First I’m falling for you then I love you. You let your guard down and fall very hard. You believe this is an amazing partner. You then learn of multiple dating sites and other sites that are active and see a whole different side that you hear about and boundaries you refuse to cross. But themanipulated was worse: I left a great job and preparing to move from my home after blocking him to set myself free of the pain and punishment. He hides the dark side because Of his business And appears very charming to most. His Moto is money, power and women. I fell hard and wanted to save his soul. It was never about me but only to suck my spirit and energy to fuel his ego even further. The Last straw was hearing I will abandon you if you refuse to share me. He truly believes all men are jealous of him and all women want him. He seemed to know just the right moment to suck me back in after weeks or months of no contact. He introduced me to his parents after 3 years which was very strange. Then no contact for weeks. There were days of text for hours saying how much he misses me and he needs to see me or move in with him that he owns me and I am his and he owns all of my thoughts and feelings. In the same night he states that he could not allow himself to have a relationship with me. I wasn’t sure if he had drug and alcohol abuse or maybe bipolar or was hurt deeply by a past relationship: it was unclear until the pain the loss and the trauma was excruciating enough that I did not trust going anywhere or any of my friends that were associated to him. I fear what he may do next or say to further traumatize me. He admitted to always driving by where I work to see when I am there. I was a very strong person with a great home and job who have had my share of loss but with faith family and friends I have always seemed to come back stronger! Being an empath I feel made it more difficult wanting to love, heal and save him before something bad occurred. I understand now they do not care or never will. The control, lies and manipulation that he had over me was like a curse. I refused to see the red flags and indicators . I was hooked. He was FB thirsty with a FB Herem. Now blocked. Reading your healing methods and the post from other survivors it has enlightened me. We must transform into survival mode and keep no contact and pray for a safe passage away before he finds out I am leaving! Thank you for empowering me to let go, move on and try and get my life back. I refuse to allow anyone in until it is safe. Only my closest friends and family understand. Abandoned, discarded, broken. I am grateful that I found you and your messages..my hopes and prayers for the other victims and potential victims!

    1. Hi Lynda,

      you have been through so much with him – that was terrible!

      So abusive.

      Lynda, I really want to reach out and help you go deeper with your healing to be released from all of this.

      I highly recommend coming into my free webinar where quickly and powerfully you can learn how to get your soul and your life back.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com.freewebinar

      I so hope that this helps and much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  17. The.Nar person first unfriended me after i ask we needed to talk clear the air they she said okay.But than she took here friend request and message inbox off on me yet why not just block me instead.Because.I,Didn’t never called or message her.But she didn’t block me and kept photo of us in her facebook photos why??? I,Think it’s mind torture game she wanted to inflict on me here the crazy part of it we where just good fiends we never had no kind of physical contact at all just a hug and the airport when i arrived to visit her country!!!

  18. Narcissistic moms who think they’re on Bewitched teach guys to divorce their humanity and get back together with their mom (them, actually) πŸ˜‚

  19. Hi Mel,

    Thanks for all your resources, they’re amazing and have helped me so much to understand what happened to me wasn’t in any way something I should accept as ‘normal’ behaviour.

    I do have a question though, regarding this paragraph;

    “Narcissists don’t just walk off into the sunset, give you a hug and say, β€œOkay, let’s do the fair thing. I hope you’re going to be okay. Call me to help you put up shelves in your new house. I’m here if you need me.” Narcissists don’t do that.”

    What if they did say something like that?

    After the discard we still worked together. Then after a couple of months of arguing, hoovering, abuse and rage and even trying to be friends (whilst she had two new relationships) because I didn’t know who she really was, I quit my job and went full NC.

    I made it clear I wanted space and time and she gave me a hug, told me she loved me and that her arms are always open for me. I’m so confused!

    Matt

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