8 Steps To Building Your Self-Worth, Confidence & Inner Guidance System After Narcissistic Abuse

After being narcissistically abused, absolutely you feel shattered.

How can you trust life and others, and especially yourself after what you have been through?

I put it to people this way … you are like a bird whose wings are broken. You can’t fly anymore, but if you take the healing hiatus and go into the bird hospital to mend your wings, you will come out soaring.

That’s the work I love and help people do!

That being, it is my absolute pleasure to share with you today the 8 Steps to building your self-worth, confidence and inner guidance system after narcissistic abuse.

 

Step 1 – Be Kind To Yourself

You will never blame and shame yourself into shape let alone into narcissistic abuse recovery. I know you may feel terribly ashamed about repeatedly forgiving unforgivable things, and throwing time, energy, resources and health into a bottomless pit only to get more and more disintegrated.

I know that you may feel terrible about what your children and your loved ones have been through … but I want you to know this …

Your Inner Being needs you right now. It’s been shattered, and it is your self-partnering, your love and devotion and kindness to yourself that is going to start reversing the damage and start healing you right now.

Your traumatised emotions and thoughts are your Inner Being screaming out right now. For you. Only you. For you to turn inwards and show up for yourself.

Your greatest mission right now is your Inner Being because that is the engine from where everything in your life unfolds.

Today … right now … start talking to yourself as you would a small child that you love. Use words of tenderness and support. Use endearing terms.

A beautiful mantra to say to yourself is “(Your name + endearing term) I am so proud of you making it to here. I love you. I support you and I am here to hold you and heal you. I promise you with all of my heart that I am never leaving you again.”

Repeat this often … often and more often.

Very soon, you will start to feel incredibly different, on the inside.

This is everything because your inside IS everything.

 

Step 2 – Seek And Accept Help

Please know that you don’t have to heal and rebuild your Soul and life alone.

Most people who have been narcissistically abused are the caregivers of others! So many of us have not wanted to burden other people, or may have been deeply ashamed about what we have gone through and appearing weak, failing or needy.

When someone stands with you for your rebuild and offers you inspiration, guidance, belief and solutions, then you and your healing are accelerated. Your fear and shame start evaporating and you start learning how to trust yourself and others again.

I really urge you to not confuse this with people and groups that focus on victimisation and the toxic energy of focusing on narcissists only. What I am referring to is seeking out communities such as our NARP community which is solution, upward moving, healing and empowerment based.

There are so many of us who have been through the unthinkable trauma of narcissistic abuse, and know how to create a Thriver Recovery from it. If you are a NARP Gold Member, then the NARP Member’s forum is a global community of love and support with zero judgement. In there we have seen and dealt with every narcissistic abuse situation you could imagine, as well as guided even the most traumatised and devastated members into Thriver recoveries.

 

Step 3 – Inner Time

I personally believe that if you don’t go within you go without.

So much of our pain, handing power away and not being anchored in the ability to self-partner, self-soothe and self-navigate came from reacting to the world outside of ourselves, rather than responding to the truth from inside of ourselves.

Your regular inner devotional time will create incredible restoration of your Inner and thus Outer worlds. This may be meditation, journaling, prayer, or purposeful healing such as Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP).

Maybe like my previous self, you say, “I don’t have time for this.” I really want you to know that your greatest times of trauma, stress and challenge are the times to start inner devotional practices the most.

NARP members discover, just how much more directly, succinctly, magically and effortlessly their lives go as a result of their inner healing practices. You are not squandering time, you are gaining alignment with your Highest and Best life.

One of the loveliest things about self-partnering regularly is that you will feel a connection to your Divine Higher Power. You will feel supported, like you have a rudder and strong hull no matter how rocky the ocean gets.

You will start to consult yourself, feel your truth and align with it. Source (your Higher Power) fills you when you practise inner prayer, mediation or Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP). Source wants the real truth for you.

When you feel supported by True Source, and no longer feel empty and lost, you will no longer be susceptible to clinging to False Sources that hurt you.

The inner relationship between self and self is the most important relationship in life to connect to – because all of your feelings, thoughts, choices and actions come from that place.

A healthy spiritually nourished inner world is the foundation of your entire life.

 

Step 4 – Holistically Heal

Repairing the fabric of your Inner Being and restoring self-worth, confidence and your inner guidance system after narcissistic abuse comes from caring and tending to your inner health.

My humble belief (with what I have worked with) is that the fastest and most powerful path to get toxicity out of your mind, heart and soul and start making room for wellbeing is NARP.

NARP is specifically created to unravel, release and reprogram all of our susceptibly and health issues – be they mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and financial ­ ­– to narcissistic abuse.

When you get better on the inside, you will do better in every area of your life.

Inner health is also food health, because we are what we eat.

Narcissistic abuse often causes weight disturbances, addictions to the wrong toxic foods, and exasperated nervous system disorders as well as painful body breakdowns such as PTSD, fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunctions, anxiety and depression and worse.

By changing your water to filtered and food supplies to non-toxic whole foods, not only will your body come back to a healthy composition and weight but every other aspect of your “body” –mental, emotional and spiritual – can start to reset to wellbeing as well, especially when combined with self-supportive inner work.

 

Step 5 – Let Go Of The Old

For resetting and regaining your New Life, I am a huge fan of decluttering, because this act of “letting go” opens up new healthy space so that your True Life can start to enter.

Big cleanouts are powerfully cleansing. If you haven’t used something for six months, I suggest letting it go. There are different ways of doing this, donate, give away, sell or throw out.

Anything that reminds you of your old toxic connections – let them go. Truly. You will feel the inner freedom by doing so. You may need to cry to release fully. If you are a NARP member and it brings up painful emotions, then do a healing shift and you will then feel great relief and freedom.

Decluttering also includes letting go of the habits and people that aren’t serving you. Let go of the old programming you used to be stuck in.

The more you let go of what and who you are not, the space opens for what will truly make your heart sing. You will discover the power that your Inner Being starts to feel – which indicates your healthy rebuild from the inside out.

 

Step 6 – Regularly Connect With Nature

Nature can heal you beautifully.

I highly recommend walking with your bare feet in the grass. Hug a tree. Swim in the ocean or a river. Even if it is only five minutes a day, step outside no matter what the weather and allow nature to soak into your Being.

If for any reason you can’t get into nature, then you may consider growing plants inside or on a balcony that you can connect your energy with.

Animals are also beautifully supportive and healing. Just like plant life they bring us back to Source.

 

Step 7 – As Trauma Release Opens Up Space – Expand

After letting go of trauma within, you will create space inside and outside of you. In real life and in real time it is wonderfully empowering to start working on your best self.

This could mean taking up a hobby that will nurture you. It could involve starting the exercise program that you want to follow. I highly recommend doing some nice things for yourself, like getting a makeover or buying new clothes.

Expansion can be going on walks, doing day trips, visiting family and friends or travelling overseas when possible.

Maybe it is engaging in the study of what it is you wish to learn.

Healing, expanding Thrivers regularly do three things – they release toxic trauma from within (with NARP) and then they pursue their heart’s desires and also push outside of their old comfort zones.

All of this brings great empowerment and joy.

The better you start to feel, the more you will want to engage in life and the more you engage the more free and confident you will become.

 

Step 8 – As Confidence Progresses Challenge Yourself

Your Soul knows what it is that is challenging you. This is the thing you know you need to do.

Is it that part of your life that you just don’t want to acknowledge or let go of?

Where in your life is the most angst, limitation, procrastination and stuckedness?

What is the scariest thing that you know you need to do, but don’t want to do?

I really want you to know that it is this THING that scares you the most that by confronting and working through, will grant you the most growth and joy.

Your greatest gold is mined from your deepest darkness.

This may mean showing up to confront this thing. Is this about having that difficult conversation? Or setting that ultimate boundary, or leaving that job or relationship?

We all know, if we are honest with ourselves, what it is that we need to face. Please know you are never given any more than you can handle, and it is all perfectly placed and meant to be for your Soul evolution.

It is very exciting when you realise this.

Trust your intuition, anchor into what it is that you are being called to do, and ask for support and help from your Higher Power and those who can assist.

If this THING is causing you a 10/10 of fear or blocks, then the breakthrough at the other side will also be at least a 10/10!

Usually even more …

 

Conclusion

I hope that these 8 Steps to building your self-worth, confidence and inner guidance system after narcissistic abuse have helped give you direction, inspiration and an inner knowing that narcissistic abuse does not have to be a life sentence.

It can, in fact, be the calling to your New Life of self-honour, self-partnering expansion, freedom and truth.

I have experienced and had the joy of helping facilitate Thrivers rising from the ashes into the best, most expansive and fulfilling lives they can imagine after narcissistic abuse.

It would be my highest honour to help you achieve the same.

Sending you blessings and breakthroughs into the life of your dreams!