I truly believe that all of us are destined and designed to live a healthy life. You may not believe this because it hasn’t been your experience if you’ve been narcissistically abused.
I know that I used to believe that humans were bad and that life was tough. It certainly felt like an uphill battle to me.
But, truly, our lives don’t have to be a struggle and a burden and can flourish and nourish us.
Unless you’re still looking for love and miracles and wonderful breaks from other people or from false sources, well, then you’re missing the point that YOU are the miracle.
I take great joy in offering you inspirational Thriver TV episodes such as today’s so you can start living a life that is fullness and happiness and success and safety.
Video Transcript
I love doing inspirational Thriver TV episodes with you. It’s my absolute joy to talk to you about what real life and normality is, how and why you got sucked into a life that was never meant to be your reality, and how you can not only become worthy of love, kindness and miracles, but start receiving them for real in your life.
Just before we get started, I want to let you know how grateful I am that you’re sharing my message. Please remember to hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already and like this video if you find it helpful.
What Real Life And Normality Is
So, let’s get started. We’re going to talk about what is real and what is normal.
I truly believe that all of us are destined and designed to live a healthy life. You may not believe this because it hasn’t been your experience.
We think that trauma and terrible experiences are normal. Maybe they’ve been and are normal, but they’re definitely not natural.
We were taught by people before us who were experiencing trauma and terrible and challenging and difficult experiences that it’s normal. I know that I used to believe that humans were bad and that life was tough. It was always a struggle.
But now, I absolutely know that there are amazingly beautiful good people in the world and also, too, that we have the ability to be living a life that isn’t a struggle and isn’t a burden and can flourish and nourish us.
Now, I know what you’ve experienced and I know what I used to experience, but this is the Thriver way – there are other experiences that we can actually release ourselves into.
How You Ended Up In Experiences That Aren’t Your Truth
So, let’s have a look at how did you end up in an experience that isn’t your truth.
I tell you what this was. This was about being disconnected from our power and the generation of source flowing through us as us and knowing that life without trauma is blessed.
It may have challenges, but yet, we are provided with everything that we need. We can have choices and we can have personal power. We can say yes to what is goodly and godly, and what is going to nourish us.
We can say no to things that aren’t our reality. As a child, that’s very, very difficult. But as an adult growing into our power and healing from the inside, we can change it no matter where you’ve come from.
And so, much of our programming and our conditioning in the paradigm of life from the outside in, we really thought that love, kindness and miracles can be ours if we treat other people with love and kindness, that we would get love and approval and survival and security back.
But, we hadn’t realized that it actually has to start within – that the most important relationship that we can ever have has to be with ourselves first to be able to have a healthy, flourished relationship with others and with life.
Because if we’re coming into these experiences empty on the inside, and then we’re trying to earn or get the things that are going to give us fullness and happiness and success and safety – if we don’t have that from within – what we discover is a conscious being moving into a Thriving existence, which means that we’re the power of our own experience.
We realize that whatever is showing up inside of us that we haven’t dealt with yet is actually what’s going to present on the outside of us.
So if we’re looking for love and miracles and wonderful breaks from other people or from false sources, well, then we’re missing the point that YOU are the miracle. You have to develop and heal yourself up into be that miracle to yourself, which means being your greatest partner, your greatest lover, your own greatest guru, your own greatest healer, because water seeks its own level.
If we’re not rising up to the point of self-responsibility, which means that, “I am responsible for healing and helping myself develop it,” to these whole levels on the inside, we’re actually never going to take our power back and manifest more of ourselves.
We’re literally always manifesting more of ourselves. So if we’re stuck in the empty limited beliefs of, “Life’s a struggle, life is hard, there’s not enough love, I can’t be loved,” well, then that’s exactly what keeps presenting.
How To Create And Generate Love, Kindness And Miracles In Your Life
So, how do you create and generate love, kindness and miracles in your life?
I love the word “be-come” because you have to BE it and then it COMES.
What does that really mean? It means that you need to be a success to yourself. You need to be your greatest supporter. You need to be your greatest self-developer. You have to be kind to yourself. You have to be on the same team as yourself.
We can’t shame and blame ourselves in the love, happiness, success and miracles. It’s never going to work that way. It’s about saying, okay, my self-responsibility means that I know there’s areas in my life that haven’t worked out yet, but I’m going to do the work on those traumas. I’m going to do the work on those beliefs. And then, I can up level and graduate into a new self. And then when I BE it, it can COME.
Quantum Law means so within, so without. People say, “Well, what does so without mean?” That means whatever you’re being on the inside is what’s going to present on the outside.
Your truths about love, success, happiness, kindness, expansion, whatever it is that you want, they have to be embodied values, embodied truths within yourself. We have to work on those.
But then, how you’re showing up in the world is with boundaries and limits. If you want a life of kindness and love, well, then your boundaries and limits mean, “If you’re unkind and you don’t want to be a team and you don’t want to grow with me, and if you’re nasty or if you lie, or if you don’t take responsibility or accountability, and you project your stuff onto all of me,” your limit and your boundaries say – you’re not my truth because you’re not my embodied values.
You can’t have success, happiness and miracles if you don’t have boundaries and limits because what you accept is what you’ll get.
What you participate with and what you include in your Life Force is exactly what your reality is going to be. It’s how Creation, God manifestation – whatever you want to call it – your super conscious self that’s manifesting with whatever you’re accepting, that’s how it responds to you.
Conclusion
I really hope that this has spoken to you. It’s my greatest wish that you truly do receive love, kindness and miracles.
To help you to start unraveling yourself from narcissistic abuse so that you can line up with your highest and your best self – because literally you have been in the bowels of hell with the pain, with the trauma, with the struggles, with such a limited ability to have health and happiness and expansion and joy and your dreams.
There is a process for you to move out of that, to start actually being open to and have the capacity to have the life that is your birthright without trauma.
I would love to offer you my 16-day free course, which is going to help unravel all of this for you and give you clarity, relief and help you to get your soul back.
So, you can connect to that by clicking the link at the top right of this video.
As always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below and I hope that today’s video has inspired you to know what your birthright really is.
Hi Melanie- thank you for your message today. It’s been a tough day. I think I’ve lost another friend. Again. Man it hurts. There was no drama- just pulling away, with a polite ‘let’s get together after the pandemic.’ WTH!? I’m not sure why or if I’ve done something to offend this person. We’re not super close but a LOT of people are doing this these days and it’s hard not to take it personally. So after reading your post I’m asking myself ‘am I being a good friend to myself?’ I’m not even sure what that means so I guess the answer is ‘no’. Even way before Covid When I’d made new friends, those relationships didn’t seem to last. I’m at a loss as to why. I feel so empty maybe because I’m looking outside of myself for connection and friendship? I’m so very lonely. I know I must turn inward now and become my own best friend. I don’t know how to truly do that. But I will do a NARP healing tonight and see what happens. Thank you for your post. 🤗
Hi Melissa,
you are most welcome.
Truly dear lady this is about facing and healing the traumas in your body that are to do with being discarded, not being important to people and being abandoned/ sidelined.
It is likely that they have been with you from childhood and also past lives.
NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp absolutely will do deep cleansing and reprogramming of any emotional traumas that you no longer want to keep experiencing in your life.
Sending you love, healing and blessings
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melissa, I left you a message below. For some reason it put my message away at the end.
Consider that people worldwide are obediently learning to distance and isolate by explicit mandate, meaning that closeness and interdependence is implicitly forbidden except under stipulated controls. Which is of course an excellent opportunity to focus on rejection/abandonment, as well as control traumata of old, as Melanie points out. For me, the externally imposed control programs have also been internally complemented with programs of my control of others and of myself in the context of manipulatively managing self-worth, relationship and boundaries. Both seriously and facetiously, you will be so lucky to come by those as well — well worth working on. Something in me rants that if we can get sick enough of the cell phone/mainstream media agenda distractions (now going for the new 5G foothold), the human deeper feeling levels breached into and tapped may also help us wake up about healthier visions of existence, rather than just welcoming more overlay of ostensibly necessary, subtly meted trauma. Humans have been so deeply de-potentiated through a horrific history precisely because humans are so deeply deep and potentialled – with a great need to learn about ourselves. I’ve come to think that to have some awareness of this backdrop (self-researched for your own discoveries, and not just as a belief) is (or I know can be) personally de-confusing of the chaotic social context energies waded through in deep personal healing/transformation. This depends on your needs, of course.
I am genuinely doing better but still get a panic feeling whenever I have to go to court and potentially face this person, even though it’s virtual right now. I know that all the truth is on my side but I also know how manipulative he can be and that is where the anxiety comes in. I am growing and healing through your messages and appreciate your words so much. thank you
Hi Linda,
I’m so pleased that my messages have helped.
have you considered working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ?
It is beyond powerful to release and heal you from all of that anxiety – helping you to show up in your power and generate a powerful outcome.
I hope this helps
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thanks Melanie, Spot on again, I’m feeling So empowered and finding those so called friends that weren’t Good for me are falling away, the doors are closing on them and my Real friends are emerging, and with those friends who would Bully me, i now feel like the Adult in the conversation not agressivly but calmly controlling the narrative, the New me, Blessings Col.
Hi Col,
I’m so happy for you that you have created this shift!
Many blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie. I don’t no if I must walk away from this emotional abusive relationship. My partner forever blame me for everything, she always look for signs or things to accuse me of cheating which I never did. All the blame for this 8 year relationships problems was blame on me.
Hi Andre,
It certainly does seem that your rights and emotions are not being heard or respected.
Is that what you want to continue living with?
What you accept Dear Man is what you will get until you decide that you are worth more.
Mel 🙏💕💚
“You manifest yourself.” This perception is a good breaker of bad deals. It toughly pits me between soft self-generated b.s. and a soft ignorance of the truth. So I still have to not dissociate from my own disavowal of my “original” self (heal, that is). But “you manifest yourself” is such an attractor, without abash cleaves away the distance between what I’m being and what comes of it (my being being indivisible from its eternal becoming). My aware touch of that alone – if only momentarily and partially unsullied – taps into an immediate in-filling of “love, kindness and miracles”. The leisured force of rich, maroon-purple blood a-flow beneath the inside of my skin lined with this unveiled night firmament. This after something else happened earlier: my at last divorcing a flawed ideal that I have for a long time lovingly projected onto appreciative covert-narcissistic friends. I just had to love one of them enough to be hurt sharply enough by the special abuse they mirrored for me. I had been manifesting a being I once somehow adopted and (luckily) can no longer survive as.
Hi Melissa, I hope you’re doing better today. Your message spoke to me because I’m also finding it especially hard right now to maintain friendships with all the restrictions. And I think a lot of people are feeling somewhat lonely now because of the world situation. You sound like a nice person though so I hope you find a good friend or two. Sending you virtual hugs 🤗 and healing.
Hi Jules, Thank you so much for your encouragement and empathy. I am feeling much better today and receiving such a message from a complete stranger was a pleasant surprise! After doing a NARP healing, I am going to write a description of my ideal friend and post it on the fridge to remind myself how to treat myself! It’s amazing how these ‘hurts’ are just signals that I need to heal something within. I hope you are having a great day today. Warm regards and virtual hugs to you too! 🙂
Great article, as always. I have been a member of NARP for two months now and I am so much more at peace. I am still in my abusive situation, a situation that has gone on for decades. I attempted to get help many times along the way but it seems that therapists and ministers knew very little about narcissistic abuse and so until the last few years, I knew nothing about it. They all seemed to like my abusive partner more than me as well. I know why. My narcissist was charming with other people and it drove me nearly mad. It was my emotional state the therapists related to, calling me hysterical and telling me that I needed to be more understanding of my partner. Are you kidding me?
My current mission is to continue healing. I have used this Covid downtime to extensively work on my inner being . I have already filled up seven 100 page notebooks. I am learning to be source to myself.
After working through the realization that my narcissist is not going to get better, I began struggling with my knowledge that other people who did not experience his narcissistic abuse are going to think he’s OK. I feel peace but I also feel absolutely exhausted. The revelations are enormous.
How should I address realization fatigue through the modules? I feel like I want to drop to the floor and melt away. I only survived narcissist abuse by becoming a serious power lifter and this fatigue is interfering with my ability to do that.
Hi Kat,
I’m so happy that NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp has helped you so much.
That’s brilliant that you are using this time so productively for you!
In regard to the fatigue, absolutely you can target the trauma in your body generating the fatigue with Module 1 or the Source Healing and Resolution Module, and then it will release.
Also please know for any guidance you can ask at any time in the NARP Member’s Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
I hope this helps.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Kat- Wow! You are doing an amazing amount of healing in a short time! Good for you! I also feel fatigued after doing the modules. (I sometimes even fall asleep.) Lately, I have seemed to have gotten more energy back though. I think the fatigue is the body’s way of integrating the deep changes and heavy traumas being released. Like being sore after a deep tissue massage. For me, Epsom salt baths and gentle yoga help a lot, and also, just letting myself be tired and take a nap any time I want and not feeling guilty about that. And I never drink enough water…but when I do, I get more energy. But overall, I think it’s just part of the process. The way you explained your realizations and acceptance of the narcissist and others’ perceptions of them hit the nail on the head for me! I have been struggling to put that into words, so thank you! 🙂 Sending you lots of positive energy and healing light.
Thank you, Melissa. This is one of the few places where I can go and not be traumatized further by the replies of people telling me things like ‘why did you stay so long’ and the like and most people here could also understand when I said I didn’t leave because I couldn’t get up off the floor. Your reply and suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Hi Kat- yes for sure other people do NOT get it! I couldn’t even understand why I stayed so long until I re-discovered Melanie’s NARP healings and teachings. Good ole cognitive dissonance and false hope kept me stuck in a fantasy that was hard to let go of. I am finally getting that it wasn’t one relationship with a narcissist, but all the way back to my childhood and even ALL of my best friends have had narc traits. What a blessing that we have Melanie, her program, each other, and finally ourselves! I moved out a year ago, not sure if I could make it on my own, but guess what? I can and I am making it! The healing comes in stops and starts (largely depending on if I am doing the modules), but I remind myself how much better off I am and celebrate my successes, however small. Hang in there and keep going! You’ve got this! Here’s to Thriving!
I feel that an important observation must be made to this thread and it is this:
We can turn to acceptance of self love and begin to love ourselves ONLY because LOVE is already the very fabric of reality and therefore LOVE alone feeds our true being.
If there is not an ultimate and absolute SOURCE that IS LOVE itself to base our self esteem on and from which to BE-COME fruitful – we are then still just kidding ourselves. We are loved. That is the relief and the reason that we have such utterly unshakeable peace within. We already are loved more deeply than we can fathom – but this does not come from out side. It is keyed into our very DNA by the Creator of our Being. Indeed it is the ‘stuff’ of our makeup. We are the image of Love.
This “quantum” leap in admitting a preliminary First ‘Cause’ is a necessary basic admission and premise: WE LOVE because WE ARE LOVED by LOVE itself. This Truth is the blood of all life forms. Love is the life force of all that is.
I do not apologize if this seems preachy. I know it to be the Reality.
Many blessings on all who visit here.
Yes Iris we are loved! Divinely, purely and absolutely.
Soooooo true …
LOVE you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie: Thank you for the love greeting (and for us die-hard victims, the craved-for love bombing, thus filtered and compulsively and unconsciously taken all the way) and beautifully ushered prayer-like healing you lead for us today, Nov. 1. It moves like a soul song, as probably only you could sing it. I hold it as the first very spot-on gift of, and the keynote for, this holiday season. A peacefully poised, standing snow flake playing the flute through the cold nights, which remain silent just for this.
You are very welcome Michman,
I’m so glad you enjoyed this.
Thank you for your lovely words
Mel 🙏💕💚
❤️❤️❤️❤️🙌🏻