Let 2020 be the breakthrough year of your life, that not only releases you from a painful path but also sets up your True Life – forever.
I want you to have an amazing 2020. And I know that for you to achieve this, you have to let go of all that is no longer serving you.
This can be terrifying! Letting go of familiar outer props, that you have been hanging onto, can feel like you won’t survive or may even die!
In this Thriver TV episode, I share with you exactly why you may still be stuck and hanging onto people and situations which do not serve you and explain how to powerfully and easily let go and clear the space, to allow and accept into your life who and what does serve you.
Video Transcript
Let’s drill down today. Let’s get very clear on what it takes to make incredible changes in your life.
The first thing you must realise is, to do so, you have to let go of what is not serving you.
This is the most important component if you want to have an extraordinary life, living at your highest potential.
The great news is we now have the processes and the powerful Quantum tools to be able to achieve this – in record time, and in relatively painless ways.
And that’s what this TTV episode is all about – setting up your 2020 to be your best year ever.
Before we get started, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and supporting the Thriver mission. If you haven’t yet done so, please do, and please make sure that if you enjoy this video that you hit the like button.
Okay, let’s get started on leaving the pain of 2019 behind and creating 2020 as your best year ever!
Making the Hard Decisions
I want to get very clear with you. You can’t have your cake and eat it as well. What I mean by this, is this: if you want to create new habits, trajectories, people, situations and opportunities in your life, it is impossible to do this whilst you are still clogged up with the old toxic ones.
Quantum Law is absolute – what you are being is what you are receiving. And what you are being pertains to what and who you are experiencing in your life.
You can’t change what you are experiencing until you change who you are being.
Now here is the important part. Most people think that they can change their being by changing what they do. In some cases this is very true, however, if you have suffered significant trauma, then no amount of doing will generally overcome the triggers of trauma and powerlessness that is dictating the composition of your being.
In fact, it’s like trying to put a cart in front of a horse, because in doing so, you are going to be stuck in the lower toxic levels of how your being is feeling. As this video progresses this will become more and more clear for you.
It’s really important to understand that one of the reasons why it has been terrifying and almost emotionally impossible to give up our poor choices, is because these choices have been attempts to numb out and self-medicate the trauma that we are feeling in our Inner Being.
These choices could be things like eating addictions, smoking, wasting time on social media and binge movie watching, drinking excessive alcohol, and victimised blaming and shaming of others. And a host of unlimited ways that we can use to try to alleviate the inner trauma that we are feeling – including being around toxic people, and even running back into the arms of an abuser.
The truth is to change your life these choices have to go. This is something you need to get very clear about, because, as I said before … you can’t have your cake and eat it as well. You can’t drive a brand-new Ferrari into a garage where a rusty old wreck is blocking its path.
You have to let go of the old order of the life that isn’t serving you, to be able to generate the new order of the life that gloriously will.
Letting Go of the Old Order
You may have noticed that when you have tried to let go of something or someone who is not serving you, that inevitably another addiction or destructive choice will become activated in your life.
This is because the inner trauma that is driving your choices of trying to numb out with addictions and distractions, has not been healed yet. Interestingly, the addictive or destructive choices are a direct match for already existing trauma in your Inner Being that has not yet been healed.
Inner toxicity generates external toxic choices. The brain follows the body always.
Most people believe that a person’s outer choices regarding, food, alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy pastimes is the issue. It isn’t. This is simply a self-medication choice regarding the unmet unhealed trauma that is driving that choice.
When you understand that letting go of the choice for real requires healing the cause of the painful choice, then you can understand why a failure to do that will mean you unconsciously replace it with another destructive choice (like meeting and connecting with another narcissist).
Truly letting go requires going so much deeper than merely attempting to control a symptom. True healing requires turning inwards to access and meet the real reason as to why you have been holding onto things that don’t serve you.
To make 2020 your breakthrough year means that you need to let go of the reasons why you are stuck in self-defeating choices.
By doing so you will be able to eliminate the old order that isn’t serving you, and finally create the space within you to accept and allow the new order to flow fully into your being and life.
The Terrible Addiction to Cigarettes as a Powerful Example
I want to talk to you about my previous addiction with cigarettes. The reason being, this turned out to be my biggest ‘what wasn’t serving me issue’ that I ever had to let go of.
I used to smoke seventy cigarettes a day, and this was even after successfully leaving two narcissists.
I felt helplessly connected to cigarettes. I made copious excuses regarding cigarettes not being mind-altering substances and that somehow, I could preserve my health and fitness even as a heavy smoker. I also used to tell myself that I could be doing much worse things, like still being connected to toxic people.
Yet, I was destroying myself, and nothing that I tried to do to get myself away from cigarettes worked. Not smoking cessation treatments, not hypnosis and not willpower. In fact, no quit program, pill or strategy that I had ever tried was successful for me.
Finally, it dawned on me that this terrible grip of cigarettes actually had nothing to do with cigarettes at all.
Cigarettes were my last outer crutch that I was using to try to give me comfort in regard to some unmet, unhealed trauma within me.
Finally, I knew what to do. I courageously went No Contact with cigarettes. I threw them in the bin and removed all traces connected with them.
I then positioned myself deep in the bunker of my couch and got ready. Previously, if I went without cigarettes for even half an hour I would burst into tears. And of course I did, as soon as the first screaming trauma arose within me that I could no longer use cigarettes to shove back down again.
I breathed, opened my body and fully felt this trauma. I used Quanta Freedom Healing (Module Number One of NARP) to draw all this terrible trauma out of myself, load it up, release it and go free from it.
I brought in Source Energy to replace where the trauma once was (which is the Higher Source component in NARP, which heals what we logically can’t heal) and continued to do so each and every time a trauma arose within me.
I went nowhere and saw nobody. I resided on my couch, wailing out these wounds, until finally after three days none remained.
I emerged exhausted, yet completely empty of any urge for a cigarette. I finally felt whole within my Inner Being without them. I have never capitulated and have not had one since. I have never had any urges or desire to have one. In fact, the thought of a cigarette completely and utterly repulses me and always has from that day forward.
Why?
The reason is simple – because I no longer have the existing inner traumas that required self-medicating with cigarettes. And what the main trauma was, was a terrible loneliness and terror, a belief that ‘no-one is coming to help me or save me’.
Cigarettes had been my dummy. They had been my crutch, something in my mouth as my connection to ‘something’, to know that I was not alone when this trauma was activated.
Of course, this trauma had been activated! I had been narcissistically abused and had felt incredibly isolated and unsupported within it.
The trauma of ‘no one is coming’ had actually been in my DNA from birth. I was born with it. It had been deep traumatic past life experiences as well as genetic beliefs that I had taken on from my ancestors, as well as the collective human experience. I had also experienced these traumas in childhood.
As a result of needing to stop smoking cigarettes in order to save my life, thankfully I was able to release myself from the real issue – this terrible existing trauma and painful belief that had been wedged in my Inner Being for eons.
One that had not only kept me stuck in a self-destructive pattern of toxic self-medicating but also a trauma pattern of attracting people or loneliness that was the exact match for the painful belief of ‘no one is coming’.
I hope you are understanding that the exact same healing premise goes for any unhealthy situation, person and choice that you are struggling to give up. There is a reason that you are doing this.
I promise you that the traumas holding in place your compulsions to stay attached to things that are not serving you are deep and primal and powerful. And until you know how to find them and remove them from your Inner Being, they well have incredible power over you.
Trying to Think Yourself Into the New Order Doesn’t Work
The old way of trying to let go of, and change our choices that are not serving us, can be incredibly painful and arduous. This requires intense willpower that usually isn’t sustainable.
When you understand how your emotional choices are created, you know that they are all to do with feelings. Not what you are thinking. Our logical brain is not connected with our limbic and emotional centres. Our logical brain is the servant not the master of these centres.
This is why when we have traumatic belief systems driving us to self-medicate with unhealthy choices, we can come up with all sorts of excuses to justify our behaviour. This is the perfect example of the brain following the body and being a servant to it.
We may say, ‘Just one more time, this will be my last’, ‘I’ll get started on this tomorrow’, ‘It’s okay that I gave in and did this, at some point, I will stop myself from doing it’ or, of course, we may just beat ourselves up mercilessly and hope that by blaming and shaming ourselves, we can somehow get ourselves into shape.
Tomorrow never comes. The state of your Inner Being is the state of your Inner Being, and the power of your Inner Being and traumatic beliefs are Almighty.
Your emotional limbic system controls forty billion bits per second in regard to the processing centres of you that creates your life. This means your feelings and thoughts and choices regarding who and what you will include in your life experience, and who or what will be drawn from the external towards you to fulfil your life experience.
In comparison, your logical brain only has the power to influence forty bits per second.
I hope that this puts things totally in perspective for you. If you are trying to overcome your addictive painful and powerless choices that have come about as a result of trauma accumulating in your Inner Being, with mere thinking, then it is likely that you are fighting a fruitless battle.
It may feel near impossible to let go of the people, patterns and things that are not serving you. Even if you desperately want to, because these things have been hurting you all of your life.
Shifting Through Your Breakdowns to Breakthroughs Quickly and Painlessly
I hope you understand by now that the true solution to let go, and change your life, is to meet and shift your inner trauma that has been generating your painful choices.
How can you do this?
You need to use an effective tool that can access your subconscious and load up your trauma energy and release it from your being, just as you would remove a rusty old wreck from a garage before you drive your new Ferrari into it.
Because if you don’t, the best you will ever get is trying to manage and create a new program in your life, whilst the old existing trauma is still having its way with you. It just doesn’t work!
This is where body healing modalities come into their own power. They are effective, and much more powerful for treating trauma symptoms and programs than any research, learning or cognitive or logical therapy ever will be.
You may wish to access things like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), kinesiology or the like, or you may simply go straight to the source of my Quantum Healing Program, known as NARP, which has been more effective for healing people from traumatic relationships than any other healing tool I know of on this planet.
And I say that humbly, this is exactly what the real-life evidence states.
Shifting Yourself Powerfully Into the New Order
To implement a new order of the life that you want, it is much easier and more direct to work on your Inner Being directly by releasing the responsible trauma out of it. Then filling the space where that was with Source Energy – which is life force, creation, God, your higher self, your superconscious, whatever a Higher Power means to you.
This heals what you logically can’t and means that you quickly and powerfully integrate what you haven’t been able to resolve yet.
The shifts are astounding and somatically felt in your body as real.
You literally emerge within minutes from the person who you were being, into the person who now is aligned with the healthy choices on the topic in question.
In no way does the shift take you decades of therapy. It is a complete false premise that healing yourself requires going through such a logical, minutely incremental, and often completely ineffectual system.
Letting go of what doesn’t serve you, and becoming what does, have absolutely nothing to do with learning anything new. The truth is you can only achieve your True Self and True Life, by unlearning all the traumas and the false beliefs that you have taken on. You can only do this by effectively releasing them out of your being, by letting them go.
Which you will easily achieve when you adopt a higher healing technology, that has been a much-needed upgrade for our human condition for a very long time.
I hope that you are getting excited about the truth, that you have the ability to let go of your previous painful patterns through the breakdown of the old order into the breakthrough of the new.
This new order is your natural and true state; it is who you are already programmed and coded to be without the infection of your inner traumas.
Your Higher Power wants for you, your Highest and Best expression of your life – meaning the only life that would truly gratify you. The components of your True Self and True Life – these things are seeking you as much as you are seeking them.
They are merely waiting for you to release the rusted old wreck that was in your garage, to clear the space to accept the divine entering of your Ferrari.
Do you want to start accessing the shifts, out of your old order, into your new one, quickly and powerfully?
If you do, and you want to access my powerful system to do this, as well as an incredible support community that will help you all the way, you can do this by clicking the link at the top right of this video.
And by doing so, you have taken a step directly onto the path of completely resurrecting your 2020 as your new year and not only that … your new life.
One that enters new trajectories that you simply couldn’t access before and bears no resemblance to the life that you left behind.
It is my greatest joy and mission to show you how to do this, just as I have done for every aspect of my life that was holding me back and hurting me – including abusive people, addictions and terrible patterns and choices.
If you really get this and want to go free, and come with me, then write below, ‘It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020’.
Let’s take a stand together, okay? To access my Quantum Healing Program NARP which will shift you from what is not serving you, to what totally is, please click the link at the top right of this video.
And I just want to say I’m sending you so much love for this holiday period and New Year.
2020 is going to be the best year ever for us Thrivers. Especially those of us consistently NARPing.
And for those of you already NARPing, looking for your next empowering, expansion steps, look out for the new upgraded Version 2 of my Empowered Self Course.
It’s coming real soon!
Happy New Year!
Melanie
Thank you but straight off I would like to ask what if i don’t know what to let go of. Seriously I knwo there’s something going on with me because the sh*! keeps a coming but I swear I am NOT getting it. Any clues where to look / what to start with?
Hi Vicki,
truly there is a way even if you logically don’t know. If you are working with my NARP program http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp it teaches you how to target, reach, loadup and release any trauma within your inner identity that is holding you back from whatever it is that you want to achieve.
You also have with NARP the incredible support of the entire NARP private community forum who can help guide you in this process.
I hope this helps, and wishing you a beautiful new year.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thank you, Mel! Happy New Year! It’s my time, I deserve this. I’m going to make 2020 my best year yet. Thank you, Narp. 💝
Hi Happy Girl,
it’s my pleasure!
I’m thrilled for you that you know it is your time and that you do deserve this.
I’m so happy that NARP has helped you so much and will continue to do so.
Wishing you a gorgeous new year!
Mel 🙏💕💛
Mel, 2020 is my year. I want to try NARP and pass it on to my children, my grand children and my great grand children and so on and so on and so on and so on . . .
Hi Ariel,
That’s wonderful we feel this way.
NARP truly is a game changer in how you can heal our soul and evolve, and you will discover Ariel that your healing will organically be passed on to your loved ones and their future generations.
Thank you for wanting to be the change!
Wishing you an incredible New Years
lots of love
Mel 🙏💕💛
It,s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020.
Beautiful Susan,
and so it will be!
Much love to you and wishing you a wonderful new years
Mel 🙏💕💛
‘It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020’.
Power to you Tim!
Much love and happy New Years
Mel 🙏💕💛
One of your most powerful articles ever!
Thank you, Mel! 💜💜💜❌⭕️❌
Awww Neringa,
You are so welcome.
Sweetheart it is lovely to hear from you!
Much love to you and yours and wishing you a beautiful New Years.
Mel 🙏💕💛
Melanie, Thank you for sharing your powerful healing experience and for all the rich information and healing processes you share in this video. You are a shining inspiration to me. A Most Happy New Year to You.
Hi Joseph,
you are very welcome and thank you for your kind words.
I’m so happy that I can help inspire you.
Happy New Year to you and much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Brilliant. Going through the modules within 6 months of the trauma of having been discarded after a 30-year relationship, saved some essential part of who I am…enough to move me out of hell. I focus on the things that bring joy and nourishment….but there is a part that still holds onto thoughts of the ex, food, binge-watching. I think I need to do more modules.
Thank you, Mel….for your generosity and clarity.
Hi Elle,
That’s great that you have been working with NARP and have been able to move forward the way you have.
It’s also wonderful that you realise that there is more to go, and it is possible to reach aand release any trauma that has been holding you back.
You are so welcome Elle, and I am thrilled that my journey can help you heal as well.
Happy new year and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020.
And so it will be Tracey!
much love to you and happy New Year!
Mel 🙏💕💛
It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020.
Hi Lulu,
this is so great that you know this!
Much love to you and yours and happy New Year!
Mel 🙏💕💛
It’s my time. I want to do this. I want to claim my new life in 2020.
This is awesome Regina,
much love to you and yours and happy New Year!
Mel 🙏💕💛
To be honest . R u people so blind . A narc will destroy u and everything U love till u have nothing . Pls
Dominique,
Myself and so many others have proved this theory to be wrong… truly.
I invite you to come in my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to experience why
Wishing you a happy new year
Mel 🙏💕💛
So not true, but I once felt this way so I get it. When I joined NARP, I was literally thinking thoughts that I had never had before. I think I even posted here once that I sometimes imagined jumping out of my high-rise apartment window after being in a relationship with a covert narc for three years. Of course, I would never do that, but the fantasy of leaving this world and getting permanently away from all the selfish, abusive people was a thought. I even started building plans for a house in the woods so I could isolate myself. So glad that didn’t work out. I’m still building planning, but now it’s because my life has turned around so much I’m able to plan my dream home. Mel asked me to write a testimonial and I’ve literally been so busy with all the new things happening in my life that I haven’t made time to do it. If I tried to tell you how wonderful my life has become and all the exciting things happening it would probably sound too good to be true. Seriously. The power of NARP is that it isn’t just about energetically releasing traumatic energy. It is also the practice of giving loving, compassionate attention to yourself and that is so powerful after abuse.
Also, keep in mind that a narc depends on narc supply. Which means that they don’t have any real power of their own. So when we’re giving them supply that means that we can take that supply away.
I’m taking a sabbatical in January so I’ll have some time to write my testimonial, but I’m concerned that no one will believe it. Good things just keep happening in my life. Yesterday, I won a grand in the lottery. No kidding. Doing NARP reminded me that I have a right to my peace and that nothing is more important. There’s something about making peace and healing a priority that makes it possible to let go of any and all things that might keep you connected to a narc.
Sending you much love and wishing you a Happy New Year! You’re here on this site because something in you knows you can be free of them. I never thought I would be, especially since three of my therapists of the past diagnosed my father as a psychopath. I thought he had ruined my intimate-relationship compass for life. I was so wrong.
Thanks, Mel. I love you much and Happy New Year to you too!
Hi Asha,
That would be awesome to get your testimonial, I can’t wait!
I totally understand it when people think that the results of NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp are too good to be true!
I love how far you have come Asha.
So much love and Happy New Year to you too.
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Mel, I am astounded at how well this program works! I’ve made a commitment that 2020 is going to be the year that I go from merely surviving to Thriving! I have waited over 30 years for something like this. You are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for helping me to be a Thriver!!
May God Bless you,
hugs and much love,
Lisa Cochran
Hi Lisa,
I am so thrilled for you that NARP is working so well for you!
Yay for you and thrive on Dear Lady!
Happy New Year and wishing you and yours an incredible 2020 expansion
Much love and huge hugs to you as well
Mel 🙏💕💛
A REVERBERATING CHORAL SUPER CONGRATS ON YOUR OWN BREAKTHROUGH INTO YOUR “NEW ORDER”. IN ADDITION, YOUR DESCRIPTION OF YOUR EXTENSIVE DANCE WITH SMOKES WAS IN ITSELF A KIND OF PERSONAL GOLGOTHA PROBABLY WELL RELATED TO MY MANY, CERTAINLY MYSELF.
I’LL BE CANDID AND SAY I CAN FEEL THE LOVE AND LIGHT OF YOUR OWN RESURRECTION THROUGH THIS VIDEO, AS WELL AS THE EFFECT OF IT ON ME AND OTHERS. I ENJOY “CLAIMING IT” AS A LIVING MODEL THAT MIRRORS AND EVOKES AND MOVES THAT SAME “NEW ORDER” SIGNATURE INTELLIGENCE/LIGHT/LOVE WITHIN ME, AND ENJOYING THE GRACE IN TRUTH YOU ARTICULATE FOR US — ACTUALLY, PERHAPS MORE THAT IS HANKERING TO TAKE ALL OF US WITH IT TO WHERE IT WANTS TO GO. IT IS INTERNALLY AUDIBLE AS THAT IN YOUR VOICE. AND I FEEL THAT ANYONE SEEKING AND ABLE CAN THEN RESOURCE THAT GRACE IN TRUTH, SINCE IT IS OF THE KIND THAT IS ALL AROUND AND DEEPLY ROOTED. AND IT IS HELPFUL THAT YOU SHARE THAT TO COME TO KNOW IT HAS REQUIRED A PERSONALLY CONTEXTED DISMANTLING OF “AN OLD ORDER”, AND A PERSONAL RELEASING OF IT. AND YET, NONE OF THIS INTERNAL ACTION IS PERSONAL IN THE POSSESSIVE SENSE. PERSONAL PROPERTY BECOMES SECONDARY TO PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
IF THIS WASN’T SO AND IT WASN’T ABOUT EVERYONE ASSUMING RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT, YOU’D HAVE A MASSIVE CULT ON YOUR HANDS. WELL, MY EGO WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO ENJOY THAT TREMENDOUSLY, TOO.
THE THIRD IS: IT FELT ACCURATE WHEN YOU SAID THAT WE ALSO DROP ONE ADDICTION FOR ANOTHER, INCLUDING THAT OF ANOTHER NARCISSISM ENABLEMENT RELATIONSHIP. INDEED, THAT INDEED IS A MULTI-AVAILABLE “ADDICTION”, PEPTIDES AND ALL, INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY ANCHOR-ABLE, AND NOW EVEN EASIER TO SEE.
THAT PROBABLY UNDER-APPRECIATED NARCISSIST WHO IS POTENTIALLY A CATALYST FOR OUR SELF-HEALING/SELF-EVOLVING, WE REDUCE TO AND OBJECT, A SUBSTANCE TO ABUSE AS A SUBSTITUTE SELF-SOOTHING AS WELL AS SELF-TRAUMA ADDICTION-SATISFYING “SELFOBJECT” — A SUBSTITUTE TO PASSIVELY ABUSE, MAYBE THROUGHOUT AN INTOXICATED, TRAUMA-BRANDED STREAK OF LIFETIMES. (IT IS ALL LEARNING, ISN’T IT . . . THE SELF-EDUCATION OF LIGHT . . .)
THIRD, IT ALSO FELT ACCURATE WHEN YOU POINTED OUT THAT ONE’S CHOICE OF EXPERIENCE, AND EVEN EXPERIENCE OF CHOICE, FOLLOWS ONE’S (CHOICES VIS-A-VIS) BEING, OR BEINGNESS. AND, HOWEVER, THAT TO CHANGE ONE’S BEING, TRAUMATA INHABITING ONE’S BEING IS BEING GRADUALLY ADDRESSED UNTO RELEASEMENT. WELL, I CROUCH LIKE A TIGER, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN CONTEMPLATING HOW “BEING” DWELLS TOGETHER WITH “SELF” AND “MATTER” (BODY), AS WELL AS WITH THEIR FIELD OF POSSIBILITY. THESE CAN BE SEEN TO BE OF THE KIND OF ESSENCE THAT TRAUMA CAN BE HELD IN, IF HELD TRAUMA CAN ALSO BE SEEN AS THE ESSENCE OF DISAVOWED OVERWHELM EXPERIENCE. BUT, AS WE KNOW, EVEN THE THINKING MIND HAS ITS OWN ABILITY TO CARRY TRAUMA. BUT IF BEING, SELF, PHYSICAL BODY AND THEIR POSSIBILITY FIELD ARE REAL AND ALSO AWAKENING TO THEMSELVES INSIDE US, THEN MY COMING FROM THEM IN THIS MOMENT BEGINS TO POSIT AND INTERNALLY FELT DISPOSITION OF CHOICE (WITHIN BEING, ETC.) THAT COULD WELL CHOOSE TO OPEN UP TO “A NEW ORDER”. HERE, AT THIS POINT OF MEETING WITH “BEING” AS SOMETHING THAT CAN BOTH HOLD AND LIBERATE ITSELF FROM TRAUMA, HERE IS WHERE I AM EXCITED TO POSSIBLY FEEL SOMETHING LIKE TREAD HITTING ROAD.
I really like that description of trauma seen as the essence of disavowed overwhelm experience!
It’s my time, I deserve this, I can & will claim my life in 2020
Thank you Melanie for caring and for all your hard work and effort to share this healing with all of us.
Hi Amy,
I’m thrilled that you feel awakened and ready to claim your true essence!
It’s my pleasure Amy and I am so pleased that I can help!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thank you, Amy, for replying! In my observed experience, this subconscious disavowal includes the self-disavowal of the energetic, emotional, physical and we must include mind and soul aspects of the same self. I found that I had internally made connections between these parts of me and the “overwhelm experience”. Therefore I internally disavowed too many of them. But this disavowal also had to be directed at anything that came along as outer or inner event, that aroused the re-experience of that internal overwhelm, in all of its connectivity with selective parts of myself, . In this disavowal I could extend my control over the internalized overwhelm, as well as getting used to it (as warehouses of accumulated self-numbing). I see QFHealing as a technique with which, among its many actions, one deliberately gets in (physical/emotional/perceptual) touch with the negativity cultivated withing that disavowal. In this practice, the Light that is then accepted in its place adds to the new disposition (of restored inner space and expansion) to then undo the inner splitting and outer compensatory behavior that were part of the compulsory control. I like to do this self-re-contacting to the inclusion of the (physical/emotional/visual) recognition of the accompanying psychic infection of NAbuse incursion that Melanie also tells us about. This is where the quantum level of awareness and intent becomes additionally necessary. Therefore, these practices include a form of deep self-contact that can and does deepen. For me, other practices that deepen self-contact have led me to my ability to appreciate the wide offerings and implications in NARP. Melanie talks about the freed up vastness of internal space. What a delight that with that freed-up internal space, I can have the same experiences that once overwhelmed me , and many more that would have or have subsequently overwhelmed me. Because now I have the “space” for them and for the perspective to learn whatever there might be to learn from them, and to let them go. Letting them go is, of course, to welcome the real prize. But I should add something about my discovered need for a new consciousness about boundaries. That is, that within this greater and increasing self space, I personally benefit from becoming internally aware and externally extending of boundaries, which Melanie also talks about. New and old experiences are also allowed and/or processed and/or released from this space by the application of my internal and external SENSE OF boundaries (also determined by instinctive, energetic and reflective awareness re-connected with. I once dropped a lot of naturally available capacity, in favor of the apparently or temporarily necessary-maintained a) un-experiencing ( which became trauma), b) self-dissociation (which became helplessness), and c) disavowal (which became depression).
Hi Mel. I’m not sure whether my situation would fit here so will appreciate your guidance. I am 3 years separated from a happy 28 year marriage. No abuse, very happy and content. But my world blew up when I discovered his affair with a much younger employee (25 year age diff) in our family business. I was devastated but willing to try to work through this as he was a good man but he essentially ‘became another person I did not know’, abandoned us completely and ‘ran off’ with this young girl who had also left her own husband. As a family we were left traumatised and while I have somewhat healed from the train wreck that I was, I still can’t seem to ‘let go’ nor do I have any joy in life. He is not a narcissist, but the marriage ending in this way did show up some toxic.behavior from him. So just not sure whether your programme would suit me or whether I should just push through and give myself more time? Appreciate your honest feedback.
Hi Anonymous,
My heart goes out to you, that is beyond painful what you and your family have been through.
Please know that my program is for any trauma whatsoever. It does not need to be “narcissistic” at all. There are many people who have healed all sorts of relationship, family and personal trauma with the use of NARP.
It is my personal belief that anyone with any trauma at all should work with NARP!
I hope this explanation helps.
Much love to you and your family, and sending you healing
Mel 🙏💕💛
Wow Mel. How did you know I was just sitting down on my NARP couch and thinking about how to stop smoking?! I decided to enjoy my latest Thriver episode instead! 2020 bring it on.
Yay Kathy,
How awesome that this was timely for you!
Welcome to an amazing 2020
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Mel,
I have had a lot of trauma throughout my life right from childhood to my adult years and now at 42, I am burnt out completely. I have tried holistic kinesiology, EFT, EMDR, Bowen therapy, trauma therapy using Peter Levine methods and mindfulness. I have been seeing a trauma therapist for about 3 years now and she has started EMDR with me but after 4 sessions I literally became totally a shocking mess with shaking and dissociation episodes. I bought your program but something inside my nervous system or gut literally stops me from doing it and I keep getting distracted. I can’t stay present, feel very out of my own body, have a lot of depression and anxiety and can’t think straight most of the time. Have panic attacks and can’t cope with everyday life decisions and really don’t feel at ease with anyone except my TV, food and my sister who lives with me and has her own trauma. Not on any meds anymore take valium now and then for pain but my addictions are food, social media and TV. Don’t have a job anymore because I am too damaged in the sense I can’t concentrate or focus and brain drain is a daily battle can’t remember well. Literally, the back of brain hurts and something feels stuck there and it comes up when I try and do one of your modules just can name it. I have plenty of flashbacks and relive a lot of painful memories from all of the trauma in my life but it’s all I have known really.
Hi Charlie,
please come into the NARP members forum where we can help guide you. I really feel this is essential for you right now.
Here is the link: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Mel
Once again everything you say resonates with me.
I did start Narp program but returned because doing the work alone just did not seem to help.
I have tried therapy and on meds.
Only a cover up and not really feeling better at my core.
Seems letting means letting go of family children
Grown, everything.
Don’t feel safe in the world or life.
Know I need a change but don’t know how to consciously make it.
Abandonment and Betrayal and too many memories triggers replays plague me.
Feel I need personal help but cost is becoming and increasing isssue.
Have cried tried to let go of pain and memories.
Wish there was someone who could in person guide me thorough this.
I know I have something to contribute.
Stuck in rural area much too near to former husband and his toxic family.
Would like to be able to help others going through this.
With horses animals and reconnection with spirit.
Don’t know how to achieve.
Rylee
USA Texas
Hi Rylee,
Dear Lady, if you are a gold NARP member please come into the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member because that is the space where we can help partner and guide you most.
If you are not a gold NARP member you can email [email protected] To find out how this can be activated.
I am sending you strength, healing and much love.
Mel 🙏💕💛
Dear Melanie
Happy New Year to you and Zac. Wishing you health and well-being for you both.
I could really relate to “No one is coming” You have a way of bringing up the real deep stuff Melanie and I will always be grateful to you for your pioneering work.
Thank you for your honesty in describing your attachment to cigarettes.
Sending you love Reena xxx
Hi Reena,
thank you from Zac and myself for your well wishes.
You are very welcome Reena and sending you much love and continue breakthrough for 2020.
Biggest hugs and joy to you!
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
Have a Fabulous New Everything Every Day Every Moment Every Hour ❤️❤️❤️
Sooooo happy and proud of you for finally taking this transformational NARP system and presenting it as THE tool for personal liberation from bondage of every kind!
It’s about time! I’ve been wanting you to do this for so long. Thank you!
Even after using spiritual healing methods and having instantaneous recovery, we still have to have a practice of MAINTAINING our freedom from C.R.A.P. of the self imposed kind.😃😀 NARPing practice does this.
I’m so grateful and so happy to support your work in this field. Seriously, there should be a “donation” button on your website.
Thank you from all of us in the Universal LOVE field.
Happy happy happy BEGINNINGS IN 2020 AND BEYOND.🙏🙏🙏🎇🎇🎇
Hi Iris,
thank you for your beautiful words lovely lady!
So much love to you as well Iris, and thank you for the powerful incredible love that you share and spread to all!
Here is to UNIVERSAL LOVE AND BEYOND.
Mel 🙏💕💛
P.S.
ALL bondage is self-imposed unless we wake up. No blaming the dear Narcs who helped us get over our dependencies. Blessings and gratitude to them as well.
Here’s to Us 🤗
Love this Iris,
and totally agree!
Mel 🙏💕💛
Mel,
Thank you. It’s so crazy I found you Feb. 14th ish this year. I’d been with a Narc since 2014. I almost died Feb. 8th or sometime around there. Then I’d found you. It was a true miracle .”When the student is ready the teacher shows up moment!”
I’m struggling. I still own a house with him and he owns my car. I finally got a new phone 9 months later and by the Grace of God, bought a house in the midst of this chaos. You’re story so mirrored mine, but you’re legions ahead of me. He has no money, but he does have a plane, a boat, and our house. I’ve been so angry and literally gave up and gave away almost everything I owned including silver I’d had since a teen, waiting to move out. Gone. I just want to never see him again. For some God Awful reason I still love him. Not in love. He was so abusive. I don’t know what to do.
Thanks for your life work.
Love,
Cynthia
Hi Cynthia,
I’m so happy that you found your way to myself and this beautiful community.
Please Cynthia know that NARP is the total answer, to find and detox those parts of you still bonded to him http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
NARP is the total reason that I was able to heal beyond the incredible devastation that myself, you and so many others have suffered.
I promise you that relief, solution and your new life does await you when you do the NARP work from the inside out, and the incredible NARP community is there to fully partner and support you all the way.
Sending you love, healing and breakthrough
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
It’s MY time, I deserve this, I can and will claim MY new life in 2020
After all the trauma and violence from the time I was born and past lives right up until now I wonder why I’ve squandered money when I finally had some, I wasn’t worthy of it so I had to get rid of it in any way possible and I did and of course ended upon a government pension… how humiliating!
I spent thousands upon thousands doing all those things you tried, except for Kinesiology as I tried it once and cheated at it, so I’ve been down many rabbit holes trying to get rid of whatever was chasing me and become mentally free from the anguish of why I wasn’t good enough in any way.
It wasn’t until I somehow found you and realized that I had said all the things you and others here have said, just like a cracked record round and round it all went crackling along in my head.
Whilst I had sorted most of it out after I left in 2003 after 42 years of that crap there is still tons buried as I was born with it too, my close relatives came from the Victorian Era and just after so there wasn’t a lot of nicety then but you didn’t dare express it.
Just in case all that wasn’t enough I also have ADHD which makes you very caring, scattered and always people pleasing aka a Narcissists ideal client. You’re there for the taking… mentally, physically, sexually and also monetarily.
I wonder why I’m on a Government Pension? At the end of my 70’s there’s no way I can recoup the money I lost to the Narc and since trying to heal myself. I’ve been trying to do Affiliate Marketing over the years but my Executive Function is down the drain and all I’ve done is waste even more money that I didn’t have.
However… I managed to get out and move on BUT I had been secretly working on myself to the best of my abilities for 2 years before I left, I’m sure he told all and sundry he dumped me but who cares? Not me!
Now that I have joined NARP and I’m slowly going through the modules I’ve managed to lose that anxiety where every time you try to do something you feel like the pressure inside will make you explode as you try desperately not to show it, try hiding that with ADHD.
However I have led as happy a life as I can as I had my 3 children but ditched the middle one last October after admitting to myself that she like her father is a Narc, that was so freeing. I still love my child but won’t put up with her evil ways anymore and the others give me love and care so I guess 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
With Melanie’s Free gifts and NARP I’m getting rid of all that stuff forever, today I cleaned remnants of my past life out of my walk in robe, something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, it’s all ready to go to the Op Shop.
I can’t do my modules as often as I like because I have my 17yo Autistic grandie living with me so it has to fit around them and some days it’s such a battle I’m just too tired but I am getting there… now if I could only win Lotto but I’ll have to buy a ticket I guess.
Thank you Melanie for allowing people like myself to not only Thrive but to know we’re not nuts, we have just been horrendously abused by an expert manipulator who knows how to ruin our minds as well as our lives but we Thrivers have beaten them at their own game and that’s worth celebrating.
Hi Maureen,
It’s wonderful that you have created this declaration for yourself all.
I admire your courage so much for taking the inner transformational healing path and I am pleased that I can help you with that, you totally do deserve blessings and breakthroughs, Maureen.
How wonderful that you have cleared out that past energy, that is gonna make an enormous difference in as far as creating the new that can come in your life now.
You are very welcome Maureen, and I am so thrilled for you that you have broken free.
Much love to you and yours
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thank you Mel that’s most kind of you and yes life is getting better a tiny bit at a time but more after an absolutely awful year I’m feeling really optimistic again that life will get even better… best buy that Lotto ticket.
I’ve read many of your articles. They are amazing!
Your empowered self course is part of the NARP program and included or it is something different and separate? Just wanting to clarify.
Thanks.
Hi Dee,
thank you and I am so pleased that you enjoy them.
The Empowerment Self course is separate to NARP, you can see the details here: https://courses.melanietoniaevans.com/
Much love to you Dee,
Mel 🙏💕💛
Mel a very Happy New Year 2020, and may your life fill with Life’s richest blessings. “It’s my time I deserve this. I can and I will claim my new life in 2020” Thank you dear Melanie and much love to you Renee xox
Hi Renee,
thank you sweetheart and a very Happy New year to you.
Thank you for your beautiful well-wishes, and sending you incredible blessings and breakthroughs for 2020 as well!
Much love to you Renee,
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thank You Melanie!
May I just take this opportunity to say Happy New Year!
2019 wasn’t all bad, I met you! 🙂 And realised that although very painful, these wounds are sacred and you are the one showing us how, with self-partnering (Being Present with our wounds) and QFH to Become Our True Selves. So Yes, continuing this in 2020 and Encouraging everyone else to do the same.
Wish I could be with You in Melbourne, it may still happen!
With Lots and Lots and Lots of LOVE and GRATITUDE and LOVE
Kondwani
It’s my pleasure Kondwani,
I’m so thrilled that we were able to connect in 2019!
I adore that you are self partnering and up-levelling your life
So much love to you too sweetheart!
Mel 🙏💕💛
Dear Melanie,
Wow! Thank you for sharing your experience with overcoming smoking…
I am listening to this again on January 1, 2020, but I first listened on New Years Eve, 12/31/19.
I live by myself and my ‘plan’ was to get some wine or the like to celebrate the new year. I have ‘rewarded’ myself by buying it in the last 5 years while working on up-leveling from several narc relationships in my life. I don’t enjoy alcohol much – I drink more than I need when I have it, but thankfully have not become ‘hooked’…yet. So the strangest thing happened to me just by listening intently to this thriver episode… I was astounded to recognize that I really didn’t want any alcohol, would save money by not buying any, and instead I decided to pass and celebrate without it. AND I honestly didn’t miss it a bit! Wow! Just by listening?! Can you explain this phenomenon?? Either way, just wanted to let you know that it’s so exciting to realize that every vice can be worked out through this program. Many thanks again and multitudinous blessings to you and all the thrivers out there in 2020.
🙂
I can and am reclaiming my new life in 2020!!
Hi Debbie,
it’s my pleasure.
When you have an emotional shift Debbie the most incredible changes can happen in the choices that you make, and the life that you live.
I love that you realise that it is possible to become the change that you want to live!
Thank you for your beautiful wishes to all, and please feel them from myself and the incredible Thriver Community.
So much love to Debbie and wishing you an incredible 2020.
Mel 🙏💕💛
I have liked to play with other’s givings of wisdom. Definitely one way to take things seriously. Yes, like playing with Christmas and Birthday gifts in absences of receiving and giving, long ago. So here I go. All bondage is self-imposed in order to “wake up” (thank you, Iris). To say this is like being present to the permission to let them go as well (thank you, Melanie) – as I am ready to. Sometimes just looking for that joy context in which to cook them into the air and into the higher fire above (thank you, Peter and Ari). To let them go in the act of my self-partnering, with self-partnering as being present to one’s wounds (thank you, Melanie). Through this, I can also choose to be more consciously present to my joy (thank you, Willy) – even though this joy is not possess-able as mine. Ah, permission to continue playing … Having established the reality and choice and ability to be present to joy and to my wounds at the same time … Well, now this feels like flight upon a volitional triad of me-joy-wound, an opening to yet another window into a quantum flow. A deepening into a more radical turn-around toward self-pertnering much less conceptually stalked. I lay claim to it in this flow of proper love, seriousness and joy, and with perhaps a little more humility. But the last somersault in this moment in quantum flow (through another window), through which … you can see God always gains God’s own self-partnering at God’s whole other level by the self-partnering in this self and in every other self. Every time.
Thank you so much for this video. I have known for awhile that I have been avoiding my sadness at this time of year because my daughter has stopped talking to me. I am still married to the narc H so far, but it has been hard. I was wondering this a.m. why I let myself have too much wine and food the night of new years eve. And while I was thinking about this and sipping my coffee in the quiet early morning in the garden, it came to me how truly sad I was. I quietly wept, and let it all go. As the sun was coming up, I focused on that as my shift into the beauty that will come when this issue gets resolved and things are healed between us. I have believed for some time that she has been encouraged by narc dad to be alienated from me. I would rather keep my heart shifted into hope and love, than let it be filled with bitterness. Thank you.
Hi Daria, I just want to say I know exactly the deep sadness you are feeling, because I too was with a narc for 18 years, and my daughter, my only child, also stopped talking to me towards the end. Which also meant I lost contact with my beautiful grandchildren. After I left my narc, a year ago this month, my daughter still didn’t really want anything to do with me. It was hurtful and painful, until I put myself in her shoes and realised the pain I had caused her, having to watch me in this abusive relationship for too long, and not loving myself enough to get out. One day, the urge to apologise to my daughter came over me like a flood, so I wrote her a long email, apologising for all the hurts I’d caused.
It totally transformed our relationship, and I’m happy to say I’m now in daily contact with my daughter, and she’s one of my biggest supporters. I also got to FaceTime her and my grandkids on Christmas Day, the Best.Gift.Ever! I would have never believed this was possible six months ago.
Please don’t give up on yourself. I hope you do find the strength to leave your narc, and get your life back. Keep doing the NARP course and one day, you will happily move forward and live the life you deserve, and have your daughter back in your life. You just have to take the steps forward to make these changes happen.
Sending you love and hugs on your journey 🌟❤️🌟
Happy new year and decade Melanie. Love, peace and prosperity for all. I am happy to put a rollercoaster decade behind me and look forward to making the next decade my time to thrive. Realise I’ve let ghosts of the past hold me in shackles for too long. It’s time to fly. Thanks for your continuing devotion to this work. It is so appreciated. Big love.
Thank you Melanie! 2020 will be a new start to a trauma free life. I am terrified and excited. I have joined the NARP community and while I don’t understand cognitively how it works. I just know it does. So grateful!
Blessings
Hi Heather,
it’s wonderful that you have become a NARP member http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp And please know it is so much better if your cognitive mind does not get involved with the healing process!
You are so on track!
Thank you for your blessings, and much love and blessings to you too
Mel 🙏💕💛
‘It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020‘
Yes, I truly believe your words Melanie, as I have personally experienced such healing shifts from doing your NARP course! It’s incredible what happens, it’s not something I can easily put into words. I was also lucky enough to attend your recent seminar in Brisbane, and WOW, what breakthroughs I experienced after that.
My only issue is that my breakthroughs don’t last, or maybe the more accurate way of saying that, it that more stuff comes up to be healed. So I continue to use NARP to keep bringing up these traumas and ultimately be free and healed! How amazing.
Thank you again for your amazing insights, I really don’t know where I’d be without them.
Hi SharLee,
That’s so beautiful that you have declared this to yourself!
And I love that NARP has helped you so much.
It isn’t as issue, and by simply accepting this and keep moving through it, it does get less and less and less and finally dissolve literally to native nothingness.
The real work is eternal uplevelling to have more incredible states of Self and Life!
You are totally on track. And, you are right, it is totally amazing!
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020!
It’s my time, I deserve this, I can and will claim my new life in 2020.
That’s so beautiful Chua,
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚