Discover the easiest and most powerful way to keep yourself safe from toxic people.
For anyone who has been narcissistically abused, especially if you are terrified of it happening again, this information is invaluable.
In this first Thriver TV episode for 2020, I want to explain to you how to ensure that the people you connect with in your life are healthy, rather than toxic.
As well as exactly how to achieve this!
Video Transcript
Welcome to 2020 and I hope that you have had a wonderful holiday break.
For our first Thriver TV episode this year I want to help you create an abuse-free year and life going forward.
If you have been able to leave the narcissist in your life and you feel fearful of connecting with toxic people in the future, I really want you to know – toxic people who are effective at being toxic are not immediately recognisable.
The ones that aren’t high functioning can be easy to detect. They could be overtly inappropriate, arrogant and quite frankly dysfunctional. These generally are the ones who are not the most dangerous.
Toxic people who are very capable of infiltrating people’s lives and smashing them to pieces are not like this, they are generally consummate actors who are extremely good at winning people’s trust and hearts.
So how do you identify those people?
In today’s video, I’m going to explain to you exactly how you will not only suspect these people but flush them out in a way that keeps you totally safe.
But, before I do, I want to thank all of you who have supported the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel. If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d like to remind you to please do so. And, if you enjoy this episode, please give it a thumbs up.
Okay so let’s take a deep dive into how to identify toxic people.
Are You an Injured Gazelle or a Robust Bison?
You may wonder what animals have to do with this. As an analogy, they can explain a lot regarding how a narcissist targets an individual.
My analogy regarding an injured gazelle is this: it is a person who has gaps, who has susceptibilities to being ensnared and taken down by a predator.
Whereas, an individual who is a robust bison is too solid and anchored in its integrity, in its own body and energy, to be susceptible.
Please note it simply is not true that anybody can get abused by a narcissist.
Let me explain.
If you are feeling empty on the inside and carrying previous hurts that you haven’t yet reconciled, you can be as susceptible to a charming con-person coming into your life pretending to be the saviour of your emptiness, fears, or what is missing, as you would be to diving into a mirage if you were dying of thirst in the desert.
I promise you that I’m not saying this to victim shame you. I am saying this to help empower you, just as this total understanding about myself and my own life helped me awaken to understand that I did have power in these situations and that I had handed it away.
I now know as a recovered and Thriving individual – when you take personal responsibility to heal and resolve your previous traumas, and accept the gift of your own evolution and have become a solid emotional source to yourself, then there is no need for you to let people come into your life immediately.
You will take your time to get to know them, and assess their character before merging with them in ways that puts your heart, emotions, body and even resources on the line.
If a narcissist cannot find a way to infiltrate your life and snare you as a source of narcissistic supply to start mining your energy and resources quickly, it’s not worth the effort. There is much easier prey to target and feed on.
It truly is up to us to heal ourselves up from being an injured gazelle with a limp at the edge of a pack to becoming a robust bison who will never be a target.
Now let’s examine how this works in regard to identifying a toxic person.
By Being Yourself Powerfully You Repel Toxic People
The true way that you will recognise whether someone is toxic or not, before it is too late, is because you simply don’t want to play with them, or they leave your experience because they can’t get you to.
What I mean by this is the following: you will be anchored in your integrity, unafraid to ask the difficult questions if something doesn’t feel right, you will be able to speak up and lay boundaries and say ‘no’ if something feels uncomfortable for you.
Also, and above all, by standing in your rights, by taking your time to get to know somebody before letting them into your heart, body, bed, finances, and home, you will see behaviour that is ‘off’ in regard to a toxic person.
They may try to test your boundaries to see if you really mean them. They may have conversations with you that are not respectful about allowing you to be a solid, mature individual taking your time.
Narcissists cannot stand not getting the instant hit of narcissistic supply. They need to escape their own tormented energy at every opportunity by entering into and enmeshing with, and then draining, somebody else’s.
If a narcissist can’t get you to ignore your boundaries, hand over your rights and the bounty that he or she is after very quickly, they may try to guilt you into it. They may bait you, threaten you with abandonment, or appeal to you by claiming that you are making a terrible mistake and risk losing a golden opportunity by taking your time.
If you have healed yourself up to become a solid, mature, adult human being in your own body, you will know that this is baloney. And there is no way that you will capitulate to it.
It is then that the narcissist will unravel and just disappear.
It’s game over. You have asserted your True Self and True Life that the toxic person is no match for and therefore as per Quantum Law – so within, so without – this person simply cannot be in your experience, and won’t be.
Does it even matter whether or not you identify that this person is a toxic individual and that you have dodged a bullet?
No!
You are simply living your life powerfully and authentically from the inside out.
If you haven’t yet healed your original traumas and unmet wounds that are not allowing you to be a whole individual integrated in your own body healthily, then you may mistake this as you being abandoned, or unworthy of this person.
Or maybe you obsess that it is something that you have done wrong, and you should have let your boundaries down, rather than risk losing them. Maybe you will now go after this person and reel them back in.
Can you see how important it is to do the essential inner work on yourself so that you are no longer susceptible to handing away your power and betraying your own values and truths and putting yourself in grave danger with a sociopath?
I hope so, because the understanding I just shared with you is everything.
The Truth About Identifying Toxic People
The truth is that you can’t identify toxic people in a way that will keep you safe because your focus on them is not the way to achieve this.
If you haven’t as yet turned inwards to discover what your gaps are and what you need to heal within yourself, no matter what you try to learn about toxic people in order to remain safe from them, they will identify your gaps, charm you and infiltrate your life, just as they have always done to people.
The deeper truth is this, toxic people come into our lives as the real outer life evidence of our already unmet, unhealed existing inner wounds. The reason that these people come into our real-life experience, is so that our unconscious traumas can become conscious, so that finally we can turn inwards, meet them, release them and go free from them.
It’s a much better, healthier and more fulfilling system if we realise the truth about this, and self-partner to do the work that we’ve always needed to do. That way, no longer will we be the injured gazelle with a limp at the edge of the pack, or a ripe target for a predator looking to steal our soul, energy and life.
So, here is the truth – you are not going to identify toxic people.
It’s actually impossible.
Rather, you are simply going to ascertain and work with the only being that you are able to control – yourself. Then you will become healthy and whole and powerfully magnificently impervious to toxic people.
Do you understand this?
If so, write below, ‘I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!’
It’s Time To Become Impervious.
I know that in all of my episodes I am really saying the same thing, over and over, just in different ways.
But I have a feeling that this particular episode may really finally hit home for you!
If this is the case, then you may be ready to do the inner work to clean up your previous traumas and gaps, to leave behind your abuse patterns and fear of abusers forever.
And I mean forever!
If it is your time, and there is no time other than now … then come with me, heal and start becoming another Thriver in this incredible community, by joining my revolutionary healing program the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program – NARP, by clicking this link.
And, if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and make sure that you are subscribed to my channel so that you will be notified as soon as each new video is released.
And as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and your questions below.
What can I do when my son is married to a narcissist and controls him? They also have a baby, so when I have to stay away from her toxicity and nastiness towards me, I also can’t see my son and granddaughter. We have a divided family now! Can anything be done? He was always a wonderful son but is totally under her control now!
Beautifully explained! Thank you, Melanie.
I have healed and become immune to their charms. Your blog posts serve as welcome booster shots as I continue my self-partnered journey. I share your info with others because there are a lot of narcissistic predators and wounded gazelles out there.
Hi Gayle,
It’s my pleasure and I am so pleased this resonated with you.
That brilliant that you have healed and are now immune.
There sure is Gayle, and it is only going to be the truth that will set people free
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I have been married to this women for 32 years and just recently discovered this community.
Get him to watch videos and hopefully he will see it and get out and get FULL custody.
Just a thought, My parents were Narcissists and I didn’t see it.
You need to take a look at yourself and see if he is just drawn to what is familiar to him.
It is hard to look inward. My wife’s Father was a huge Narcissist control freak and ruined 4 children of his. Now I live with HIM.
Good luck
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Hi Melanie,
So really, we are identifying OUR Self not trying to figure out who the Narcs are.
And that Self of ours that we discover is impervious to all deception because it is the one that we continually and continuously tune into and monitor in order to accurately express and present who we really are.
It is WE who are faithful to our SELF in defending and promoting our Self’s honest truth.
This is so much more fun than playing “who’s the Narc”.
The more I learn about my Self the more I feel love and peace.
Great idea.
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!!
And so it will be Jennifer!
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am magnificently impervious to these people.
Hi Ariel,
That is so great!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi melanie I have been watching your videos and tried to subscribe to your 16 week course but it didn’t work as I am already on some list. I am still on my journey or though I feel it might be too late…I cant afford your narc course although I think it has real possibilities for many . Thankyou for your videos they have been really helpful…Happy new year to everyone xxxx
Happy New Year to you to Angel,
sweetheart, please email [email protected] and one of my lovely team will be able to get you sorted regarding your free 16 day course.
You are more than welcome Angel and I am so pleased that I’ve been able to help.
Sending many blessings to you for 2020
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Bless you Audrey,
and power to you!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I thought I had removed all narcissists from my life but was recently tripped up by a ‘consummate actor’ once again.
This only meant that In the middle of the night, in order to lessen the dysregulation I was experiencing, I needed to re-visit NARP Module 8. Doing the work relieved my anxiety as I knew it would. It was that easy!
I’ve now gone non-contact with this person.
I will continue to “heal and become magnificently impervious to toxic people.”
Hi MP,
what you have demonstrated is true Thriving at it’s best!
It truly is that powerful and easy, when you do the work from the inside out! Well done!
Many continued blessings to you for 2020
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
That’s awesome Heather,
bless!
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become impervious.
And so it will be Meg!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am healing and become magnificently impervious to them!
Love this AH,
power to you!
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Hi Ri,
Love that you have declared this!
And so it will be
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them! Thanks, Melanie!
It’s my pleasure Joseph,
fabulous that you have to declared this as your truth!
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thanks, Melanie, I think I’m finally getting it. 2020 is the year of me being strong within myself and attracting level-headed, caring, and loving people into my life. I know my strength and feel my purpose. I also feel when I’m compromising myself and that is happening less and less. Your message has helped me wade through the mire of narcissists in my life and find myself still whole. Happy New Year!
Hi Beth,
that’s wonderful that this is resonating with you and you’re realising your true power within.
I love that you feel whole, and Happy New Year to you too lovely lady.
Mel 🙏💕💛
You set me on the road to healing, and now I am almost completely healed!!!!
That’s fabulous Carla,
bless!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m going to heal and become magnificently impervious to ALL toxic people!
This really did hit home for me, because essentially it’s not just about refusing to let in the narcissistic people but about all toxic people! I also really understood when you said that we can never know if a person is a toxic person because essentially if we got to the point where we could with certainty label a person as a narcissist it’s because we have gone too far in our relationship with them. We don’t need to know more about them, second guess our intuition, or attain the satisfaction of knowing for certain that they are a toxic person when they have exhibited a toxic behavior. Knowing that they are capable of such things should be enough no matter how many times the abuse or disrespect occurred. ❤️
Hi Lauren,
that’s great that this deeply resonated with you, and that you totally get it.
Much love to you and wishing you an incredible 2020
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m going to heal and be magnificently impervious to them.
How awesome J!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I have healed (It’s taken almost 3 years) and I will be magnificently impervious to them if and when the occasion arises.
I am strong and will continue to be so for myself and my baby girl 💞
Thankyou Melanie 😘
Hi Karyn,
This is absolutely fantastic!
If my total pleasure and much love to you and your baby girl.
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thank you for the knowledge! Very beautifully written, to the point, and full of valuable information.
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Hi Niccole,
You are very welcome and I am so pleased that resonated with you.
Power to you dear lady!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
In the year of the rat, I have become a robust Bison too! Thank you, Melanie, I am looking forward to this glorious year and decade fully empowered by the light of your insight and love you share for us all.
I have always been a strong lass which is why I was so surprised that a Narc got me into such a mess. I am free now in so many ways. Thank you Knowledge and healing is my
power and my shield xxx
Hi Jo,
I am so happy for you!
I can’t wait to partner you either Jo in 2020. It is going to be an amazing year.
I love that you understand that knowledge alone is not enough, and how imperative healing really is!
So much love to you Jo
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and be impervious to toxic people. This is the year I self partner for real. My narcissitic sister has just written the most toxic letter and set my stress levels off. I have had no contact with her and felt much safer now I feel scared the lies in the letter I am returning home due to illness and in no way want anything to do with her this was my wake up call to get on with the NARP programme for real. My whole life has been blighted by her betrayals I will not give her another chance so I really need to self partner now and do the work for my sake. Thank you Melanie for your work you are a beacon of hope and light to many God bless you Happy 2020. I
Hi Lorraine,
I love that you are prompted to commit to NARP fully, Because that is when your breakthroughs will Truly come.
You are so welcome Lorraine and sending you many blessings and wonderful healing for 2020.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Lorraine,
Best wishes for you and success and health and happiness. I had a toxic sister and didn’t realize the extent until the very end. I was living in an African country with my then-husband, needed to relocate back to the US for “safety”, and my sister refused to take me in, saying she didn’t want me as a ‘stray cat’ on her sofa. She later convinced my aging father to remove me completely from his will (as in not even mentioning that he had had a 2nd daughter), omitted me from his newspaper obituary, and when she finally died, also made sure I was not mentioned as a living relative.
Yes, these things are real, but like you, I was blessed to find this website, these tutorials of Melanie. I wish you ALL GOOD THINGS IN LIFE!!
Hi Melanie,
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them.
All the best for 2020 & much love
Bee
Hi Bee,
that is awesome!
Thank you for your best wishes and much love to you as well
Mel 🙏💕💛
Joining the Narc Recovery community has been a true godsend to me after leaving a 3 year intense relationship with an altruistic Narcissist
4 months ago !
I feel blessed to have this support and
‘I am going to heal and become impervious to them ‘
Robust Bison – love it ❤️
I’m ready! I divorced him a year and a few months ago, left my home with him and moved thousands of miles away to Southern California and have started to regrow and repair myself. I am also mostly no-contact, but occasionally have to contact because we have 2 20-somethings. I’m ready to work on me and make myself impervious to this ever happening again. I want to be the strong bison not the injured gazelle! Thank you!
Hi Leslie,
that is wonderful that you are inspired to do the work and become totally impervious.
You are already doing a wonderful job!
You are so welcome Leslie and I can’t wait to partner you further in 2020.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Su,
I’m so happy for you that you feel supported and on your way with your healing!
You are doing a fabulous job, you have got this and please know that we have got you.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them all…the robust bison.
Hi M,
That’s fantastic!
Wishing you incredible breakthrough and healing for 2020
Mel 🙏💕💛
I will be the health bison impervious to predators. Thank you. Please can you team be intoci with me to get on the course. I bought the gold option in 2018 but need help to start.
Hi ENPB,
That’s great that you have stated this declaration for yourself!
Please email [email protected] and one of my lovely staff will help get you reconnected to NARP
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am healed and magnificently impervious to them!
Hi Melanie, Happy New Year, I have followed your advice for a while now, I have let go of all the toxic people in my life, I miss them and feel very lonely, I loved these people and it is hard not to reconnect but I am being strong. The biggest abuser in my life was me, I feel sad the way I treated myself. Changing my name was a big game changer for me, the people who gave me that name were self loathing and so was I. My life is now amazing in so many ways and miracles happen every day, even though of course there are still feelings of deep loneliness and sadness but I am working on that.
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Dear Melanie,
Happy New Year – I wish for you that Australia will find new ways to rise and become sustainable and recover its unique nature again!
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
It’s the only way I know, thanks to your teachings!
Much LOVE
Trine
‘I am healed and healing. I have become and I am becoming magnificently impervious to the neutral outside stimulus – toxic or not – by choosing by faith to let go for myself and respect myself living in unconditional acceptance!!!!
Dear Melanie,
I want to start the New Year free prosperous abundant with dignity & security .
My ex husband is violent abusive alcoholic and a criminal lawyer and his parents cover him in every way….hide his assets lie etc…You would never know if you saw them.Roberto’s father was a CEO…and his mother considers hersel royalty….she is the most difficult and is vengful..She is passive aggressive and is hurting her grandchildren now…she is delusional…she acts like everything is normal….her husband cheated on her a million times and beat her.I was becoming her….when I tried to get out she defended her son and said his drinking was due to me as was his cheating lies and manipulation ..I wasn’t self servant enough.She said I took too much place…gave too much to the children.She seemed jealous.I got away but not before I called 911 one day because he hit me and then he slammed my head on my car….when the police came he played cool lawyer he scratched himself and had me arrested .It took me 6 months to get my children back.Now he just threatens me all the time and wishes me death.His new girlfriend Pham Thuy….a Vietnamese young girl half his age is on his beck and call.He leaves for vacation for weeks dumps everything on me…does not pay medical and school bills
I want to move on ….be strong .I was married for 20years. I’m 53 am going back to school while working and raising a family on my own.
I pray that 2020….is a great year.
Thank you
Gloria
Do the work on you… it shall be well. I was there some 3 years back and if you see me now, I’m a different person, happy, ambitious, full of life. Thanks to Mel- forever grateful 🙏🏼💕
I am healing and becoming magnificently impervious to unwell people. I am going to become a healthy, vibrant gazelle.
I’ve been reading your articles for over a year, Melanie, and I have to say that you’re right about this one. It spoke most clearly to me. Well done and thank you.
I am healing and I’m going to become magnificently impervious to narcissists and other toxic people and situations.
Important for me is to continuously strive to take care of the basic needs like getting enough sleep, gentle exercise and staying nourished. When I fail to take care of these things, even having all the knowledge I now have, it’s so much easier for me to turn into that injured gazelle. Happy 2020 everyone!
Hi Amy,
that is so true, exactly what you have stated!
Thank you for your well wishes to everyone and sending oodles of them to you too!
Much love Amy
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thankyou Melanie xo
I have been flapping around as an injured gazelle my entire life (an easy meal to prey)..
Now after a good while of Narp work I am starting to get my feet more firmly on the ground.. there’s still plenty more work to go until I metamorph into the Robust Bison, but;
‘I am determined I am going to heal entirely and become magnificently impervious to them ALL!’
Much love, Wendy Xo
Hi Wendy,
that is so inspirational that you are working with NARP and completely changing your life from the inside out.
Power to you dear lady!
And so much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Aloha and Happy New Year Melanie.
It’s been a long time coming. I have been with the Narc for almost six years…It’s time to heal. Latest is she left me, yet again. I’d say, I have lost count, 9-10 times. This is the third time she has cheated on me. I do self-sabotage myself and get hoovered back in. Well, 2020 was upon us. I am going into this with full throttle. Going through broken hearts in the years is tough. It’s time I stop and heal myself. Day 2 of No contact. I have blocked her so that any type of contact cannot be done. I am going to push forward a work on the healing of myself. My actions needs to match my words so let’s do this!
Thank you again.
Aloha!
Hi Ramsey,
happy New Year to you too!
I love that you know it is time to truly heal, and please know myself and this incredible community are here to help support you all the way.
Sending you love, power and breakthrough
Mel 🙏💕💛
I think I just dodged a bullet but it still hurts. The man I was dating got into my heart before I was really able to discern if he was a safe healthy person. I ended it the day before yesterday via text but I miss him. Why I ended it is his actions and words did not match. We were not in a committed relationship but things did not add up.
Sure could use some encouragement and maybe some insight. Thank you MTE. You are amazing. Happy New Year
Hi Tad,
Please know dear one that if you have a part of you are still feeling pain, this means that there is some original wound that is matching this person that you can find and heal as a result of turning within.
When you have been able to do that there will be no feelings of attachment, loss or longing whatsoever.
This is the deal, people in the form of relationship potential come into our life to trigger our as yet unhealed parts, prompting us to go within to do our self-evolutionary work.
To explain and demonstrate this more for you, I’d love to invite you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to understand more about this, as well as understand how to do this essential inner work.
You are very welcome Tad, and I hope that I can deeply partner you with your healing and breakthroughs into wonderful relationship trajectories in 2020.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Happy New Year to you too, Melanie – Many many many thanks for your help. It is sooo healing and helpful. Please do not be frustrated by saying the same thing over and over. It has taken me a couple of years of therapy and your healing lectures and techniques to GET IT – because the naricissist was with me from infancy and – the sad fact – becoming inured to that treatment attracted me to that over and again in other relationships. But at 60 am getting out of it now – and every phrase – every word – and every lecture is helping me. Thank you over and again!
Hi Vicky,
you are very welcome dear lady! Thank you for your encouragement to keep sharing my message, I really appreciate your kind words.
I am so thrilled for you that you are breaking through to your incredible and beautiful True Self!
Much love to you Vicky
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am determined I am going to heal entirely and become magnificently impervious to them all. This sincere declaration feels more relevant once having reflected on your use of one little word elsewhere in your message : forever. My including it in the declaration is relevant to me because in this context it feels like a declaration of boundary capacity. A kind of capacity with which I don’t need to strategize against the past, present or future strategies of NA. Once healed. Once healed because the felt assertion of forever also reveals to me what areas in the past, present and future inside my forever I have been agreeing to narrow and bend and pinch the currents of its continuum into areas of compromise — which affect the whole, distorting gravity waves into making space for NA presence. This, according to my dependence on fearful and victimized interpretations filed away long ago.
I know that forever is not compromised other than within those held interpretations, even as my pain waits in those areas for me to “learn to take care of myself”. What’s interesting to see now is that to take care of myself is the other bookend to my volumes of autobiographical narrative. The first bookend has been forever itself. Take care of myself and forever have long been by me inwardly interpreted as limiting things to be avoided. Both seem to have taken on fearful presence within the context of abandonment. I am seeing this now, in relation to having been repeatedly abandoned, half the time in apartments locked from the outside, at early ages, for long periods of time, between which returned the mixed relief of multi-faceted NA. So, my thorny but genuine thanks for helping prompt this awareness to address perhaps more lucidly from the start of this new year. And thanks for providing a meaningful forum in which to have spoken it now. Although I also feel I already get your feedback to not give it all too much thought in the process. That may come gradual. It tells me not to self-betrayingly too make short a shrift of it; so let’s see. Just now, thought seems in part to have been my substitute self-partner through long forevers.
Hi All,
I am healing and I’m going to become magnificently impervious to narcissists and other toxic people and situations. I did my first trauma clearance just now. Gosh that sucker did not want to leave! Gone now and I’m feeling great. I thought I’d done so much work on myself and had fixed me… only to reconnect with an ex, possible narc. I’m observing and being the robust bison so, time will tell. Love to you all
Hi Sara,
I love this, and much power to you!
It is such a release when trauma leaves our body and we can claim who we really are without it!
Keep going Sara, and releasing everything you feel within that is getting triggered in relation to this person and before you know it all attachment will be finished.
Thank you for your love to all, and please feel our love to you.
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
Amazing timing for this! I needed it desperately.
I just left a job at the end of November because the owner was an extreme narcissist. I was getting depressed and feeling desperate every time I was left alone with just him in the office each workday. I HAD to give my 2 weeks notice because I knew if I attempted to take time off to go on interviews he would have fired me. I saw what he did with other employees. I need another job desperately or I will be homeless, again. I knew this reality when I gave my notice. I debated for a while, but he was ramping up his behavior. My boss knew about his awful behavior and made excuses and told me to do exactly as he said. I swear it was a sick game between them. I did whatever he asked and tried desperately to avoid him whenever possible. He would scream , insult me and find insane reasons to find imaginary fault with me.
I have learned something new from each one of your episodes, and you do repeat what you’re trying to say. I’m glad and grateful that you do!! It’s the little nuances that give me MORE clarity with the message you’re trying to convey in healing myself.
I feel stronger and more determined after each episode.
I HAVE been trying to see the signs of a narcissist! Now I understand that I was giving them an invitation to have at me!!! I get it! I get it! Focus on being strong, brave and confident. Show it by defining my boundaries and keep them intact in a calm, firm way when necessary.
Thank you so much.
Happy new year!
Hi Peggy,
I am so pleased for you Peggy that you are getting clarity. I really want you to understand also that if you have deep subconscious programming and wounding in regard to people running roughshod over you and abusing you, and finding it really difficult to lay boundaries and be your true powerful self, then deep inner healing may be very necessary for you to be able to be released from this pattern in your life.
This may be key for you, and if so I truly suggest working through my 16-day free course http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
I hope this can help, and much love to you Peggy
Mel 🙏💕💛
Melanie,
You have given the best New Years Eve gift that anyone can ever ask for. Each word in this video is packed with nothing but honest truth. This I can say with total conviction as becoming a Gold NARP member has protected me from preditor attacks now for several years.
Within the last month I was approached and a crack in my armour was exposed. The miracle of Quantum healing kicked in “big time” and moved to fill the gap in no time.
Thank You so much
Hi Ocean Breeze,
I am so pleased that is deeply resonated with you.
I love that NARP has helped you so much. It’s brilliant that you are able to pull out the Quantum tools and have such powerful and fast breakthrough.
We all have the right and power to live life this way now!
It’s my absolute pleasure and much love to you Ocean Breeze
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Mel,
This episode came at a great time for me. I had been on a couple of dating sites for several months with, of course, no satisfactory connections. However, last week, after a few weeks, online communications with ‘Gabe’ morphed into “let’s text each other”. Well after a couple of hours of informational volleys, good questions from him, and productive content ‘shares’ we ended with good-byeing appropriately and cordially. The next day I touched base with “enjoyed the interaction, how’s your day so far?” I had remembered him saying he liked that sort of interaction. Well, cue the crickets. I was chagrined to have been ghosted for the first time in years (i haven’t dated in years)!!!!! He was textbook as I reflect on it; pleasant, showing interest, appropriate give and take in conversation, not forward, respectful… I’m good though, thanks to the study and evolution having gone through the Quantum healing courses and been a faithful member of Thriver community. Knowing there is a name that behavior somehow helps as most of us know, Ghosting. Ya can’t make this stuff up!
Hi Lorinda,
this is great that you are fine, just keep shifting out any trauma gets triggered within and stay true to your values and “Love truth”.
Much love to you and dating success in 2020!
Mel 🙏💕💛
Lorinda,
You know that just before ‘Gabe’ ghosted, he was on the other end thinking, “Wait! I was trying to hook up with a boundryless, needy individual who couldn’t self validate and would let me do whatever I wanted to them with no protest. I’m outa’ here!”
And you didn’t chase him to find out what happened. Good on ya!
Carla
I’m going to heal and become magnificently impervious to ALL toxic people!
Brilliant David!
Power to you!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
“I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them”
I never, ever expected to find myself in a terrible situation like I find myself in now at age 52. I gave up my whole life 2.5 years ago for love. Or what I thought was love. I’m now living in a foreign country without an income, being threatened with deportation. I never knew these kind of people existed. I’m empowered now after reading and reading all about Narcissist abuse. Thank you Melanie. 💕
2020 I will get my mojo back and will seek the life I deserve! ❤
Hi Donna,
it’s great that you have declared this for yourself!
Please know Donna That you can and will get through this, and start to access a life that will be far superior in every way.
Sending you love, healing and breakthrough for 2020
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them 😊
Hi Sue,
that’s fantastic and wishing you incredible breakthroughs in 2020.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am healing and am becoming magnificently
impervious to them.
Hi Marilyn,
that’s great that you have made this declaration!
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
‘I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!’
Hi Joanne,
fabulous work!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie
I subscribed to your 16 day trial and although I gained some insight I still am struggling a lot with everything. I am finding myself really alone and have had lots of my “so called friends” bail on me without so much as a word as to why. I am still dealing with the narcissistic sociopath in mine and my sons life and have been tied up for 6 1/2 years in court battles and abuse from him and watching my son battle it as well. I watched the episode with your son and it was great. My biggest problem is my narcissist doesn’t have any drug or drinking problems so I’m trying to battle and prove this without any underlying issues. He also has a mother and father whom are just as deadly as he is and my son gets exposed to all 3 constantly. I am unable To afford your NARP program as I have spent close to $500,000 In legal fees to date and am just keeping my head above water (barely). Thank you for your emails. I am hoping my breakthrough will come through sooner then later 🥺. GOD willing!!!!
Hi Michelle,
please know that I do offer access to my Quanta Freedom Healing Program for those who are in financial distress.
If you email my lovely support team [email protected] you can apply for sponsorship.
I hope this helps and sending you love and strength
Mel 🙏💕💛
HAPPY NEW YEAR MELLANIE TONIA EVANS.
Please dear I copy pasted the below because it’s the stage I am in now and working very hard to see my self Thrive. I am 40+ and this month I will start learning Psychology Counselling class. I will thrive no matter what.
I love you dear Mellannie
“..If you have healed yourself up to become a solid, mature, ad human being in your own body, you will know that this is baloney. And there is no way that you will capitulate to it.
It is then that the narcissist will unravel and just disappear.
It’s game over.
You have asserted your True Self and True Life that the toxic person is no match for and therefore as per Quantum Law – so within, so without – this person simply cannot be in your experience, and won’t be.
Does it even matter whether or not you identify that this pers is a toxic individual and that you have dodged a bullet?
No!”
Hi Rebecca,
happy New Year to you too!
I love that this is deeply resonating with you.
Power to you Dear Lady!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am dealing with a very toxic person who is my manager at work. I am clueless as to how to deal with this…
Hi Kevin,
I hope that these resources are mine may be able to help you https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/
https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact-part-2/
Sending you healing and power
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hello Melanie. I also have some difficulty with registering with your free program. I cannot purchase as in the past my card details got cloaned. But besides that, I’m in a relationship with a narc for 16 years. A mix of emotional and physical abuse. Everyone who does not understand what I’m going through will say just get out, as if it was that easy. I’m now at a point I just want to leave. I don’t care anymore…I WANT OUT
Hi Carena,
Please email [email protected] and one of my lovely team will be able to help you.
You are so right Dear Lady it isn’t just that easy!
Sending you strength, love and breakthrough.
Mel 🙏💕💛
‘I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!’
Hi John,
that’s awesome!
Go you!
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Thank-you for this message Melanie, it really does get through to me. I have been working on self-partnering and doing the inner work to release trauma almost daily, sometimes several times a day. Most of the fog of cognitive dissonance has faded, and the gaps are beginning to close. I know that with much determination in continuing this work, my light will come back to me soon. I really miss my light.
Much love to you for doing this incredible work,
Gen
Hi Gen,
that’s great that you have made this declaration!
You are very welcome and also please that resonates with you.
I love that you are doing the inner self-partnering and healing work. How fabulous that you are reaping the benefits.
Thank you Gen and so much love to you too.
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m going to heal and become strong and impervious! My time is now!
Hi Parisea,
I am so happy for you that your time is now!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Much love, healing, self empowerement and coming to light of our beautiful true self!
Aweasome article… as I read this article and understood its wisdom I had a bit of a “Doh!” moment. I’m just left alternately smiling serenly and laughing at my former naivety, but either way undoubtedly ready for my best year ever. Thank you.
From now on… I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
Thank you Corners of My Mind,
I’m so pleased this resonated with you.
That’s so great that you know this intention is true for you!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
By the age of 38, I had already attracted 3 (!) n men! The third was the major wake up call. The pain and disappointment was nearly unbearable. But here I am, emerged like a fenix!
Interesting thing is, after all this and LOT of healing work…I think I was still hyper vigilant. This new man I met, consciously or unconsciously, I was all the time trying to find some clues that would prove that he is a n too! As if I was using a magnifying glass and then I started to see things that even weren’t there. Of course this created weird energy between us! Now it’s been 7 months, things are getting better and more normal and I think at this point it is safe to say he is not a n! It feels so “odd” to be with someone who is normal!! 🙂 This is a whole new experience for me. It’s nice to see all the healing work did made a difference! With the n, the downhill started rapidly after the “honeymoon phase”, after about 8 weeks and from there the abuse kept getting worse and worse. With this new man, the opposite happened. After a very shaky start, the connection seems to be getting better, more real, more deeper. Now I feel little bit sad though because even though all this had been wonderful ,a total transformation for me, and even if this man is very nice and not n, I don’t feel he is “the one” for me.
When I used to be full of the n pain I said with great frustration to my friend, gosh I just want to find someone normal, that’s my only wish! But looks like I have some more additional qualities on my “list” too that I’d wish to have in a romantic partner. Is that okay, acceptable?
I feel I should be happy and very grateful (and I am!) that I have finally found someone who is not n…so I feel little bit quilty or “picky” now not really wanting him as a partner. Maybe as a friend. Am I silly, wrong, thinking this way?
You definitely become impervious to them but you need not remain in the same space as
them…. like a workplace. Your boundaries and inner self just don’t need to be there unless there is still work to do on uplevelling. Your zero endpoint on moduling will be a
Guide. If no trigger and it feels off, they don’t change, time to go. Life is too short to hang around toxic energy🙂🙂🙂. No
matter how healed we are, it sucks out one’s life force. Move on.
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!
I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them! 🙌🏼