Have you grown exasperated with the narcissist in your life, desperately searching for a way to shut them down?

A way to stop them from engaging you in circular arguments and conflicts that lead nowhere and leave you drained of energy.

I know I was caught up in this game and struggled greatly with being hooked in and always being thrown off balance emotionally.

I would twist myself into a pretzel to try to get my sensible and logical message across in any way so they would just understand me and GET IT … but it never worked, instead I was just handing my power away.

Today’s Thriver TV episode is all about teaching you the mechanics of the essential three levels of shutting the narcissist down without saying a word. Imagine that, getting your message across to a narcissist without saying a WORD!

This is an invaluable lesson I want to share with you so join me in today’s video or read the full video transcript in the blog.

 

 

Video Transcript

This episode is so important because it’s going to give you your power back. I’m going to explain to you how to shut down a narcissist without saying a word.

I know that can be really hard initially, if you are like my previous self and you wanted to say lots of words, but please know what you are about to learn is invaluable.

Just before I get to that, I just want to say quickly, the gold standard for breaking away and completely eliminating narcissistic abuse in your life is NARP. And a lot of people know about it, but if you don’t, you can learn more about this in the show notes or by clicking the link that appears on your screen.

I’m going to take you through the mechanics of the essential three levels of working up to shutting the narcissist down without saying a word. Each one of these levels is vital, the last one more than you could ever imagine. So make sure you watch this video right through to the end, and you may even want to take some notes.

 

Less Is Best

The first part about this is less is best, and you need to understand that with a narcissist, because if you respond or react to anything they’re doing or saying, it’s energy – it’s narcissistic supply. Now just get this straight, really get this – a narcissist could not care less about whether you’re arguing about something really important to you or to them, or about a fly crawling up a wall. They don’t care.

I know that you think your explanation is really important in getting it through to what you want them to hear – it’s the lecturing and the prescribing we do. We go into the details, and it’s like trying to explain something to a five-year-old in an adult’s body. But the narcissist isn’t hearing any of it, they don’t even care about the details.

So all of the sensibilities, the logic, all the information – they don’t care. So we’re turning ourselves inside out and upside down, and twisting ourselves into a pretzel to try and get it across in a way that they understand it and they get it – all he or she is interested in is your energy, get this straight, your energy.

β€œI know I can affect you” is the mantra. So what they’re looking to do in their behavior or how they speak to you or what they say – they’re looking for a hook. They’re looking for an angle. They’re looking for a way to throw you off your emotional balance, because what they want from you is attention, energy, angst, anything with emotional energy is food for them.

That’s what they thrive on – your pain, your emotional reaction. And that’s the way that they get narcissistic supply.

Our normal human construct is, I’m going to get in there, I’m going to fix this, I’m going to sort you out. I’m going to get you to understand what you’re doing and what you need to understand to start behaving like a normal, rational, human being. That’s where we’re coming from.

For them, this is like “boo-yah” because the more you try to do that, the more I know I’m affecting you, the more I can throw an atom bomb in there to throw you even more off balance, so I can get more of your emotional distraught energy.

You’ve got to get very clear, it’s not working – you trying to sort it out by confronting it is not working.

Let’s now look at the next level of how to a defeat a narcissist and stop them from hurting you.

 

Grey Rock Or Silence

The next level is grey rock or silence.

Now, a lot of people would have heard about gray rock because it’s a common term in abuse recovery forums.

Grey rock means that you are just handing over monosyllables, you have no emotional energy behind what you’re saying, less is so much best, you just answer, “yes”, “no”, “this is what I will, this is what I won’t.”

You leave all explanations out of it and all the details, and all of the emotions. So you’re not handing over any energy, emotional energy, but of course it’s precarious because you’re still in conversation and narcissists are very smart, they know what your insecurities and your gaps are and they know what triggers you off.

No contact is better if you don’t have to have any dealings with this person, if you do have to have dealings with them, well, then you can grey rock through third party communication channels, like Our Family Wizard or through your solicitor or whatever it is – less is best, nothing is better.

If you need to parallel parent, if you’re doing joint custody or if there are some things in business etc. that you have to clean up, well, then I would really say to you, third party communication is much, much better.

That level of detachment, it’s great in theory, of course, but this is the question you’ve got to get very honest with yourself about – can you do this? Can you do this? Can you detach to that level?

I really want you to feel into this, it’s a really important question because it is hard to do. And I don’t want you to use any excuses or reasons about the narcissist. You might say, “They won’t let me do that. They keep coming at me, because they do the most horrible things, because I’m trying to …”

Whatever it is, I want you to take your power back and the only way we do that as Thrivers is, you’ve got to make it all about you. You know they’re going to do horrible things. You know they’re going to say horrible things.

But you’ve got to take your power back. You are the only person that you can change, heal and empower. I’m just going to give you my example of why I used to previously struggle with not reacting.

I wanted accountability. I was this righteous person thinking – it’s completely wrong what you’re doing and I’m going to make you see what needs to be right, that was my ego invested. I also had a terror – if I can’t make you behave in a responsible, sane, safe way, I can’t be safe.

Those were huge triggers for me. And you could have all of that, or you may have a terror of abandonment, which used to be one of mine as well, or you may have guilt or obligation, it’s my duty to tell this person and help them and make them see what they’re doing.

We all have reasons and belief systems as to why we’re trying to take responsibility for people that will not take responsibility for themselves. And we’ve got to take responsibility for ourselves to stop the abuse, so how can you stop responding?

Remember, they don’t care what you’re telling them, they just want your painful, emotional energy. How can you stop responding? You can only stop responding by healing, those parts of you that are handing your power away, so that you don’t respond at all, so you don’t hand over any more narcissistic supply.

So that you give them nothing, you give them nothing and there’s nothing, but does this mean that you’ve stopped handing your power away?

Now you might be quite shocked at the answer I’m just about to give you.

No, it doesn’t mean that you stopped handing power away, because there is a whole other level where the narcissist is taking energy and Life Force from you and we’re going to have a look at that.

 

Shoring Up The Psychic Infiltration

I told you the last part of this is so important, and we’re just going to talk about it now, we’re going to talk about shoring up the psychic infiltration.

Now I’m about to explain to you what your true narcissistic abuse recovery work is. I know that you have felt the feelings of the black ink through your veins, that you felt like the narcissist is still living in your head and living in your heart and your being, what do you think this is? This is psychic vandalization.

Literally, you’re in a battle for your Soul. What do I mean by that? I literally mean that the narcissist has been sucking out your Life Force, they have wedged inside of you like a horrible psychic disease, and you know what that feels like. I know you know, and I knew what that felt like, because I’ve lived through it as well.

This is why you feel like you have no Life Force, this is why you feel like you have the anxiety and the depression, and the PTSD, and the agoraphobia and all the things that life can’t go on as normal. There are countless people, even decades down the track, that have got away from the narcissist and the narcissist is out of their life, but they’re not out of their being.

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met before Thriver healing, before actually doing the deep inner Quantum work, that have still suffered from that and it’s definitely not a coincidence.

I’ve also seen so many people that when they do the deeper inner work, the deep inner Soul work, they get free, they get healthy, they get clean. It’s literally like an exorcism and they fill with Life Force again.

And it’s very interesting because people, when they start doing that work, sometimes the narcissist, even after years or decades, will have a crack at making contact.

What’s that about? I’ve seen it that many times, it’s not a coincidence. What’s that about?

They feel the energy cord gone. They feel it gone and they try to hook it back up, and maybe it’s deeply unconscious, or maybe at some level in their skewered, crazy thinking, they know it. I don’t know the answer to that, but it happens a lot.

And the thing is, a lot of people think, well, if I just tie cut, and I just tie cut, and I visualize tie cut – it’s so much more than that, it’s actually about healing the inner traumas that have made you the other half of the magnet, unconsciously, for the trauma bond, the psychic infiltrating trauma bond. When that’s gone, it’s gone.

 

So What Is The Real Work?

The real work is turning inwards to release and reprogram everything inside of you that’s been triggered and stolen energetically by the narcissist. And then when you do that, it is like an exorcism, you exercise them out of your being, out of your cells.

Once your body releases all of that, your brain just shifts to match that in a shift, and you up-level and you become more expanded, confident, free, and empowered than you’ve ever been.

When you release what was trapped in the trauma, which was those parts of you trying to survive and deal with self, life and others – when that all gets released, then your survival of trauma get shifted into creative expression, energy and inspiration.

Then the narcissist becomes about as interesting as walking over a slug on the pavement, it’s like, “Oh, that’s a bit icky, whatever …” And you’ve forgotten it by the time you get to the next curb. That’s how dis-interesting they become when you work back through these three levels.

 

In Conclusion

We’re going to check out these three levels again.

Step one: realize, don’t react. You’re just handing over narcissistic supply, don’t waste your energy. You’re just going to get yourself abused.

Step two: set up detachment, where you’re going grey rock or you’re going into silence.

Then, so importantly, Step three: turn inwards to completely heal and reclaim your Soul so that the narcissist becomes Not Your Reality, NYR – you’re not my reality.

Now what I want you to do, I want you to pause this video and I want you to write this powerful intention below.

This is what this powerful intention is, β€œI let go of you. I’m ending this battle now. From today forward, I’m claiming my Soul, true self and true life.”

This is a beautiful mantra to tell yourself, because that is how you defeat them. That’s how you stop them hurting you.

This is how you start to understand that narcissists have no energy system of their own and they can’t survive unless they’re feeding off your pain, off your louche, off your traumatized energy. That’s their fodder, that’s their food.

So this is the bottom, bottom line. When you clean up your pain from the inside and you evolve yourself beyond it, a narcissist will become as powerless as the little frail man or woman behind the curtain. And you will understand that they have only been powered up through your pain and your fear and your reactions.

When you get free of that, from the inside out, you’re going to watch yourself soar in your life whilst he or she shrinks away from your life experience.

Now you don’t have to believe a thing I’m saying, but I know, as I’ve seen from myself and so many others in this community, when you turn inwards and start reclaiming your Soul, you will see it for yourself.

Please remember to like and share this video with the people and the communities that you would love to see heal from abuse.

If it’s time for you to heal for real, I want you to check out NARP, which is the healing system that healed myself and thousands of others, from over 120 different countries, from the unthinkable and the symptoms that we were told that we would never heal from.

I’d love to hear from you about this episode, what you’ve been doing to take your power back, what you recognize now that you need to do, and of course, any questions that you may have.

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Commments (64) + Leave a comments

64 thoughts on “How To Shutdown The Narcissist Without Even Saying A Word

  1. Dear Melanie,
    It’s downright uncanny, the timing of your articles! Especially today, this was EXACTLY what I needed, written out in crystal clear Thank you, thank you, thank you!

      1. I dont have any fear, shame nor guilt. I have anger. I have no contact because people have died, but im still angry. And the few still alive, i want dead. I would like to be the instrument of death for them.

  2. Despite all I know, I was scammed online recently. Lost $700 Cdn. Gone. The part that bothers me is I KNOW about scamming and all the tools and BS scammers use to get us. It was like my brain just kept saying β€œDon’t do this!” but I did it anyway. Last week I wouldn’t have done it. Next week I won’t do it. But this week I did. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. Of course scammers are NARCs. I know the whole nasty game. But for some weird reason this week, I jumped in a well-lit gaping hole in the road I was walking on. How stupid can you be? I knew it was a scam right at the start. Mel, perhaps you can shed some light on this. Smart one day and stupid the next… I’m doing all the post-scam stuff I’m supposed to do, contacted police, bank, credit card company etc. So far not TOO much damage. Just my ego is beating me up for doing what I KNEW was a scam. Sheesh!

    1. Hi Susan,

      I promise you there is a reason why that I can show you how to find and heal completely from.

      Please come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar which will fully open your eyes, give you a way out of uncosncious patterns and grant you such uplevelling in many areas of your life.

      This was meant to happen to take you to this next level, a BIG blessing in disguise, if you take this trigger point opportunity to go deeper.

      Much Love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

      1. Definitely will do! I’ve easily walked away from numerous online scams over the years, but went totally unconscious when this one crossed my path. Time to do more inner work for sure…

        1. Oh, BTW… the scammer has tried to access my laptop numerous times. I just permanently blocked him. That wasn’t difficult to do at all!

          1. This may sound strange, but I bought the NARP Gold Package about 5 years ago, after divorcing myself from my NARC family. But, until now, I never read or did any of the inner work. What was I waiting for? I have NO idea! But this recent scam was my Wake Up Call, no doubt about it. So I will see you on Sunday at 6pm my time Mel, and in the meantime I have begun reading the NARP material. I am really ready for this inward journey… onward & upwarding! With much love.

        2. That’s awesome Susan.

          Big things that kick us in life, are often connected to MANY inner adjustments that can free and ascend us beyond measure.

          Truly! (What a gift!)

          You have got this!

          Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

          1. Oops! Put this in the wrong place. So it’s a repeat…

            This may sound strange, but I bought the NARP Gold Package about 5 years ago, after divorcing myself from my NARC family. But, until now, I never read or did any of the inner work. What was I waiting for? I have NO idea! But this recent scam was my Wake Up Call, no doubt about it. So I will see you on Sunday at 6pm my time Mel, and in the meantime I have begun reading the NARP material. I am really ready for this inward journey… onward & upwarding! With much love.

  3. Here is the mantra:
    I let go of you. I’m ending this battle now! From today forward I am claiming my soul, true self and true life!

    Beautiful. Thanks so much. You inspire hope!

  4. This is very powerful for me. To detach from my abusive daughter and son in law is a huge step for me. I let go of you to save me !! Save my soul, sanity and future. I was told to go grey rock with them but never fully understood it until reading this post.

  5. I had to let go of all my siblings 5 in total because of a
    narcissistic sister and her power over them , a bunch
    of flying monkey minions for sure it was so hard to do
    without these emails from you I wouldn’t have survived.
    Thank you so much.
    Jan

  6. Thanks so much for sharing.
    This is very important to me at this time.
    However I may be still stuck in this trauma since I am financially crippled.
    But God will one day bless me with some money and go no contact completely.
    Best regards

    Patience

    1. Hi Patience,

      please know there is incredible compensation waiting for you in all areas of your life, when you heal.

      Sending you love, breakthroughs and blessings

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  7. This is Truth!!! I am a thriver….at a minimum,follow this guidance n u will feel instant relief, rest, revelation ❀

  8. I let go of you. I am ending this battle now. From today forward I am claimimg my Soul, true self and true life. You are not my reality.

  9. I let go of you. I’m ending this battle now. From this day forward, I am claiming my soul, my true self and my true life.

    Mel, this is the truth this article. I am a very grateful and blessed NARP member. I found the first two steps easier than the third because of an intense fear I had of going within and facing the truth. That scared me the most. But once I got over the fear of going within using NARP there was no stopping me. The relief is extraordinary and happens after each and every one. I know now with NARP I have defeated the beast within, but there were layers and layers to get through. But sure as day the Narcissistic is shrinking to the minutest proportions just like you say. I have more trauma there still as I still get triggered here and there but it is fleeting , gets easier and easier to release and less and less. I just go to it with NARP and release it. Thank you so much for this gift. It is true freedom from Narcissistic abuse but also NARP has evolved every area of my life, not just that. I’m on your Thriver program in May. CANNOT WAIT!!!! AM SO EXCITED. Love and blessings on you.

    1. Hi Ramona,

      I so love that NARP has helped you so much and that you have taken to it so beautifully.

      You totally deserve your well-earned ascension into your True Self and Life … bravo!

      I can’t wait to have you in Thrive in May … It’s going to be epic!

      So much love to you!

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  10. WOW Melanie, that number three is really Important, the bottom bottom line πŸ™‚
    β€œI let go of you. I’m ending this battle now. From today forward, I’m claiming my Soul, true self and true life.”
    Love And Gratitude
    Kondwani πŸ™‚

  11. I am very recently out of a toxic relationship with a gentleman I met a year and a half ago. The thing that struck me most from what you said in this video was the feeling of some soul connection with the narc. Literally the last message I wrote to him when saying goodbye was that I was confused about why it seemed I had such a nearly psychic connection with him and it was like nothing I had experienced before. This is what I recognize as the problem… needing to break that “soul tie” (which he probably interpreted as a positive tie, but actually I was referring to it in a negative way (unhealthy for me). Thank you so much for all your great work. I’m feeling really great about the healing journey ahead

    1. Hi Kimberley,

      It really is so like that!! At levels we had never experienced before, and as you said not in a healthy way at all.

      I LOVE that you are excited about healing!

      Please know how welcome you are and much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  12. Thank you Mel πŸ˜‡ I find your posts to be so empowering.
    I love to read the comments too, as they really resonate with me & I see that I’m not alone.
    How you find the time to reply to each & every one? I appreciate you & all our fellow thrivers πŸ™πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈ

  13. I live one day at a time, just focusing on the activities I need to do today and try to have some fun.

  14. They’re still feeding off you from above (“psychic infiltration”)
    only because you’re still subconsciously FEEDING OFF THEM from below
    (“psychic dependency” . . . body spaces with emotional & mind energy still “frozen”).
    This pushes us toward the depth and subtlety of our internal transmutings
    (“healing”) . . . that we have to get to within, in order to BEGIN to know
    ourselves as other than just another who would or could engage in such exchanges
    and relationships with humans, humanoids, habits & systems. One’s own inner,
    HIDDEN RATIO (between “parasitical abuser” and “creator w/sane boundaries”)
    is then gradually and courageously grasped (“as within -” ) and flipped (so without”).

      1. You’re right. I have to stop this shoaling . . . recover my “SO DEEP ‘STUFF’ “! But, maybe the boredom is part of rehab. No. No — I knew NARP was all just globalist mind control!

  15. I WANT my Soul back and ALL THAT energy you stole from me and the EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT I GAVE TO YOU WITH LOVE.

    Melanie that is a superb article.
    I want to get over it….

    But I’m not sure how to resolve it completely as I am the one he got arrested, so he’s still there , in my head and it’s not going to go until all this is over…. and I don’t know how to handle this part ( where I can’t explain everything to police because they don’t understand narcs)

    I just want it over so I can be free to live again.

    1. Hi Foxyfoo,

      Thank you and I’m pleased it resonated with you.

      Heal .. heal inside … that’s the ONLY way to deal with it.

      That’s exactly what NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp delivers you to – that healing inside and then the subsequent FREEDOM in every area of your life.

      You will see when you start working with it.

      Much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  16. This is exactly what happened to me. Once I cleared the traumas using NARP, the β€œexorcism” happened. I saw in a dream this person attached to me (behind me at the neck/ head area) and then pulled off of me and detached by a much more powerful force. This is all very real and you very literally may be battling for your soul.

  17. I did it again. I contacted him because after working in his company for 22 yrs, he is trashing me in my job searches and now has had the state refuse my unemployment benefits. I am a Libra and am typical in that I believe in balance, fairness and JUSTICE. I am soooo sick of how he ends up getting EVERYTHING to go his way by deceiving EVERY ONE. I came so close to doing something totally against who I am at the CORE. I WANT to see him SUFFER, HURT and PAY dearly for all the EVIL he has spewed on to me AND others. He has made it his ENTIRE mission in life to OBLITERATE me. He is like the mad, vicious dog or the habitual criminal that CANNOT be rehabilitated and just needs to be PUT DOWN for the safety of the rest of the world. Whats worse is, I want to be the one to do it. If he would just die, it would be SUCH a relief to me. Thinking this way and feeling this way is TOTALLY against who I am as a person and the soul that resides in me. I keep having to try and come up with ways to stop him from hurting me. It goes WAY beyond what he says. It is also his constant ACTIONS that make it impossible to go on with my life. If he were to die today, I would feel joy and feel safe again. I have NEVER said that about anyone. I REALLY FEEL like it will never stop until he’s dead. It’s horrible to feel this way. When will I ever get that JUSTICE that I so strongly believe in? When will HE have to pay for what he’s done? Will it always be me who has to suffer, make adjustments, carry on no matter what, while he just goes on with life doing and getting whatever he wants. I don’t want him to get anything he wants ever again. He is not deserving, I have ALWAYS tried to be. To say it is not FAIR, doesn’t even come CLOSE. And don’t tell me that life is not fair. I knew that long before I met HIM but he takes it to level I couldn’t imagine. I trust NO ONE now and don’t see that as ever changing. I CANNOT be vulnerable like that again. It’s bad and I am in a bad way

    1. Hi LIRB,

      as a fellow Libran, I TOTALLY get it!

      I used to be the same …

      I felt like I couldn’t breathe without justice … I promise you. And with N’s there is SO MUCH injustice – it is off the Richter scale.

      I cannot tell you enough, from the depth of my heart – logic doesn’t free us from this and there is NO justice the traditional way … and truly there is not meant to be .. because this is a spiritual battle – it’s not a logical, practical one.

      This is about turning inwards to HEAL those parts of you that feel triggered into injustice. This is about healing the part of you that feels CONDITIONALLY reliant on something outside of you happening for you to be free, empowered, expansive and whole.

      That is NOT true, but until you turn inwards to heal and free yourself you will not step across the bridge into your True Self that is far superior to any Beingness you ever experienced even way before N-abuse.

      I hope that you can feel somewhere within the truth of what I am saying to you, and what is awaiting you.

      Please come into my free webinar to start getting relief, answers and your soul back, and to know more …

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      Big hugs and I hope that this can help

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  18. This is So true for me. Even one word, β€œyes” β€œno” β€œmaybe” would just light his Evil like a bulb went off. And his words would always follow to look for any engaging hook.
    No words. No contact. And a β€œgrey rock” look when I run into him. I have no fear, I have all my power with no emotion (Thank you NARP) I don’t drop my head, don’t try to get away from view I simply grey rock watch him and don’t take my eyes off him. He squirms, looks at the ground, does a little skip, looks sheepishly sideways at me once in a while till he can get away. HOLY man! What a difference!! I can feel that the key is; NO EMOTION, just me, myself, and I. Freaks him right out !! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    1. Hi Beverly,

      I love that you have taken your power back!

      Hahaha I have an image of what you are describing.

      Yes, the curtain pulled back and the little man exposed!

      Much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  19. β€œI let go of you. I’m ending this battle now. From today forward, I’m claiming my Soul, true self and true life.”… such a power mantra, but so difficult to apply when it comes to being the child of a parent narc. The perpetuation of the cycle that is often set up in families, where this behavior is passed on generation to generation is striking. It’s almost as if the condition itself and the perpetuation is hereditary, but I see the generations of the abuse that caused it. My great grandfather significantly abused my grandfather and he my father and my father to me and my brothers. And it appears that the tendency in males, the attack on other males as an ego-defense and protection of personal masculinity, is at the heart of my family issue. My father wouldn’t dare talk to my daughter, his daughter in laws or other female relatives in the way he speaks to my brothers and me. My poor mother…what she must have endured before her passing. The signs were all there and I’m sorry, dreadfully sorry, I could not protect her from what I know was a painful, miserable life with a man incapable of real love, support, compassion, empathy or sympathy. In the epilogue, the final segment of a story before my going quiet with him, I wondered out loud “what would Mom (my loving, caring, sensitive Mom) think about that?”… “Don’t tell ME what your mother would think…I know EXACTLY what she would think.” He would. He trained her, abused her and instilled in her exactly what he wanted her to think. Rest in peace Mom.

    1. Hi Esteban,

      I hear you and please know I have met many people who have dealt with horrible narcissistic family abuse. I want you to know that you are not alone.

      Many people in this community with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp have released the trauma, and gone free from it and been able to heal completely (absolutely) from those old traumas and painful programs.

      So much love and healing to you and your blessed Angel Mom.

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  20. I let go of you. I’m ending this battle now! From today forward I am claiming my soul, true self and true life!

    Thank You Melanie!
    Love
    Agnieszka

  21. I’m in an urgent need of advice and help. I moved from state with my 1St baby who is 2 1/2 with my baby daddy against my intuition and he is a narcissist pathological liar psociopath. I get this horrible feeling In The pit of my stomach and feel scared to be alone with him and my baby. He has threatened that if he can’t live with her under the same roof neither will i and he will make sure of it. I have thought of restaining orders but like he has told me it’s just a paper and by the time anyone shows up u can b dead n I’ll b gone.

    1. Hi Alba,

      please seek outside help through authorities in your area.

      Be calm and rational when you speak to them and tell them of your concerns and what he has said.

      You deserve support for this from people who will take this seriously.

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  22. My daily mantra is that I say to myself Let Go and Let God. I respect other faiths and those who don’t believe since everyone’s journey is different. This mantra helps me because I constantly get triggered not only by the Narc but it has allowed me to see others who are unhealthy and put their needs before mine. I had to unlearn putting my needs first isn’t unhealthy. As well as the difference between being selfish,which toxic and self-care, which is healthy.

  23. Your articles are amazing and I have found some comfort in them knowing that I am not crazy like I feel I have been for years.
    My question is though, how do you find that trauma and bring it to the surface to release it. I have joined your NARP program and search for the traumas, but I still feel there is so much more that I just can’t find to finally heal this.
    Fear, it is simply debilitating and has kept me here for so long. I want out so badly but it keeps me here, and I struggle to find the trauma. Why can’t I let go of this fear?

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