I know that narcissists on the warpath seem really scary. Relentless, insane, unperturbed about you calling them out and manically hellbent on your destruction.
They do this in various ways – through assaults on your character and mental, emotional and physical health and attacking your financial stability and capacity.
And narcissists go after your support structures and the important things and people to you.
Those who are not narcissistic can’t imagine in their wildest dreams how it’s possible to think like this, let alone execute such acts. We reel from the impact of their vicious, cruel and senseless behaviour. We don’t understand how our supposed actions could possibly fit the punishment that the narcissist dishes out.
I know that you may feel like I used to – that the narcissist was a “terminator”, unstoppable and someone I could never get free from, no matter what I did. This gives you a terrible feeling of powerlessness and helplessness.
Yet, what if I was to explain that you possess a superpower that the narcissist is literally terrified of?
Maybe you have already seen a glimpse of this … or maybe not yet.
Hang out with me today while I share what this is with you.
Where There Is Light, There Is No Darkness
In the fog of war with narcissistic abuse, it is so hard to calm down your confused, obsessing mind and the anxiety about what happened in the past, what is happening now and what could happen in the future.
Your mind can only think within the “bandwidth” of your internal trauma. This is why lately, I feel it’s important to provide simple metaphors to help simplify my message. Not because I think you are unintelligent – in fact, people who are narcissistically abused are some of the smartest people I have ever met – YET, you must start to de-complicate things so that you can understand that healing and defeating a narcissist is actually very SIMPLE!
I promise this is true!
You know, logically, when a light is switched on in a room, there is no longer darkness … it just doesn’t exist.
So how does this apply to the narcissist fearing you?
When you are Your Light – they cannot infiltrate you with darkness. In this space, the narcissist has LOST control over you.
Think of the metaphor of a vampire that can only exist and operate in the darkness – in the shadows. When the curtains are pulled back and the light floods through the windows, the vampire shrieks and must run back into the shadows.
This metaphor is completely accurate and applies to narcissists more than you could ever know. (I’m going to expand on this soon …)
Now … let’s move on to what “Your Light” really means …
What Is “Your Light”?
Your Light is your authentic self.
What does this mean?
It means your Inner Being’s natural state, without trauma, limitation and “darkness”. The narcissist must work with your “shadows” to control you and have the upper hand. These are your inner emotional “gaps”, making you feel like the narcissist’s opinion and behaviour are shaping your inner and outer life.
Without initially understanding this (perfectly understandable in the “fog of war”), these are the bullets you are handing the narcissist to shoot you with.
In extreme contrast, if you do the inner work to shore up these inner wounds and dependencies – if they no longer exist and you are no longer triggered. You are simply and powerfully yourself, unaffected by the narcissist’s words and antics, rather than being sucked into “darkness”.
Rather you just stand as a bright LIGHT.
Meaning a shining Truth that plays no part in the narcissist’s narrative. You have no need to argue, justify or participate anymore at all. You are just being and generating a life representing health, truth and sanity.
(I promise I will learn HOW you can become this a little later!)
How Dark Is The Narcissist’s Darkness?
Your Light is the VERY opposite of the darkness that the narcissist’s False Self is.
Let’s look at just how dark and perverse the narcissistic psyche is. It contains things like ego attachments to significance, notoriety, stuff, sex, addiction to attention, promiscuity, depravity, manipulation, cruelty, exploitation of others, revenge, envy … and so much more.
If you are a “Light” against this darkness, the narcissistic garbage becomes “Not Your Reality“. You are beaming your Light and creating your life regardless of what the narcissist is or isn’t doing.
This is achieved by honouring your emotional self – your Inner Being. It is done by turning inwards to load up and release all the terrible triggered traumas accompanying narcissistic abuse.
These are things like the disbelief of such evil and maliciousness and the heartbreak that someone who is supposed to love you can treat you like the enemy with absolutely no conscience or clemency. The narcissist becoming “Not Your Reality” is achieved by releasing YOUR darkness – any negative emotion – including fear, confusion and any other internal feeling of dense energy that is NOT Light.
How do you know it is not LIGHT? Because it doesn’t feel good.
The narcissist loves it when you are in fear, pain, insecurity, confusion and trauma (darkness). Because then you are on the narcissist’s dark battlefield. This is “hell on earth” where the narcissist is a demon – incredibly comfortable operating and energised by negative emotions and your bleeding emotional wounds, just as sharks are when in a feeding frenzy.
Here, in this “hell”, you cannot fight back. You would literally have to sell your Soul to beat a narcissist in their “lair” and be prepared to go to every length to do so – and what would you ultimately lose by doing so?
The answer is your Soul.
(A narcissist would usually rather die than be wrong.)
The Light Wins
If you haven’t yet understood that the battle with a narcissist is a spiritual war – and absolutely can’t be won logically and with “normal human strategies” (oh boy, didn’t we all try that with everything that we had!?), then my highest suggestion is to accept this spiritual component as soon as possible.
Because this is an “unseen energetic” war – there is a very simple and direct path out of it – which is freeing yourself from your own darkness – your inner fear, pain and negative emotions, and filling up with your True Source, Light.
The narcissist is terrified of Truth embodied in a human. Because then this person has become Source itself. If you are filled with Light, then Source is Sourcing through you. The source is in no way aligned with a False Self. It doesn’t lower to that level – rather, it is calm, detached, capable and effective as itself.
The narcissist is horrified by an individual standing in their sovereign power, untriggered and unafraid of them.
A True Self being and living their life, and simply doing what is necessary to do so, regardless of what the narcissist tries to do, freaks a narcissist out. They hate the reflection back (none) that leaves them fully exposed as the defective, broken, unstable one rather than being able to project that onto you, blame you, and vindicate themselves.
Your True Self-presence lands them smack bang in the reality they spend their lifetime avoiding: “I’m defective and unacceptable.”
(Like the vampire under a bright light.)
You are no longer their dump master, scapegoat, or projection board. They can’t get you to enter “their ring” anymore.
Because of this, they have to get away. They can’t be around you. They are too exposed to your Bright Light.
They must find a broken person, not in their authentic Self, who they can suck in and down. Someone who they can parasite off again – taking their resources and Life Force and getting narcissistic supply from them by triggering them into their wounds of … “look at how significant I am by affecting someone so intensely.”
How Is Filling With Your Light Done?
The difficulty for many people, even religious and spiritual, is this – you believe in a Higher Power. Still, you may never have self-partnered within your Inner Being to release your trauma and make way for the Light to start filling you up.
Those people who are not necessarily spiritual or religious and don’t believe in a Higher Power may struggle to accept this concept even more. This is why I gave you the metaphors regarding “Light”.
Another easy way to think about The Light is as “infinite consciousness” – the power of the unseen world which creates intricate flowers, majestic animals, incredible natural food for us to eat, the smile of a child, the joy and love we can feel for each other and everything else that represents wellbeing, Life Force, inspiration, joy, health, expansion and freedom.
This infinite consciousness is also responsible for the trillions of chemical processes that our bodies run to keep us alive and operating as humans – processes that our logical brain could not even begin to formulate, let alone execute.
Filling yourself with Light to become a Light that repels (cancels out) darkness is not something you can logically decide to do.
You can’t just “decide” to ignore a narcissist, stand without fear and walk a straight line against them, untriggered, simply exposing the truth of matters to authorities without fear, guilt or need for approval.
You can’t just decide to be in your power, trusting your intuition and confidently standing for your values and rights to get the right solicitor.
You can’t just decide to be lined up (Law of Attraction) with the right situations, people and events that match your Light to defeat a narcissist.
You can’t just decide to be healed beyond yearning for the narcissist to be nice, act decently, tell the truth, give you back the money, treat your kids with respect, or agree to a friendly and caring deal with you regarding property and custody.
Yet, if you do the inner work to release your trauma and fill those spaces with Light – you will.
It’s no longer an act – it’s for real.
Then you are no longer triggered.
Are no longer emotionally reacting … or pleading, begging, yelling, lecturing or prescribing.
You are no longer being derailed with anxiety and depression or hiding away from your life.
Rather, you will begin moving forward with Light in your presence and heart, knowing your life no longer depends on the narcissist in any shape or form, and meeting or even initiating court proceedings without emotion and fear, providing facts without trying to prove your victimisation and being unperturbed by whatever the narcissist attempts to do to emotionally to get you back in the darkroom again.
It freaks narcissists out.
They can’t stand it
They need to get OUT of the Light as much as possible.
The narcissist is terrified of YOUR Authentic Self.
Please know a dark self can only operate against you with your consent.
Your consent is not verbal or even logical.
It’s energetic; it was your darkness.
If this resonates with you … and you have had enough of the battle with the narcissist and want to defeat them (as well as go completely free of the pain, fear and trauma), check out my Thrive Healing 10-week Bootcamp.
Here … together… we get it done! TRULY!
It is starting real soon (April 3rd) there are still some limited vacancies!
Did this article make sense?
Have you experienced how powerful you are against a narcissist in your Light?
Is Your Light something you sincerely wish to experience?
Let me know in the comments!
Hi Melanie – so much love to you –
You write “They have to find a broken person, not in their authentic Self, who they can suck in and down. Someone who they can parasite off again – taking their resources and Life Force and getting narcissistic supply from them by triggering them into their wounds of … “look at how significant I am by affecting someone so intensely.”
SO TRUE AND SO RIGHT. The light is the way.
How do we get past our light
to inner child
Hi Kim,
are you working with NARP? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
If so, we can help you with the healing technique to fill you and your inner child with The Light
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Alison,
It sure is!
So much love to you too!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I definitely have a narcissist in my life and need help dealing with it!
For sure – I need some help.
Dear Melanie,
It continues to amaze me that articles (like this) that you send out to the world seem to come at just the right time! 🙌🙌🙌
Today I had the most incredible discussion with my shaman friend, who I mentioned before….We were discussing my problems with and lack of self-esteem, my feelings of negative self-worth, etc., and where I’m stuck with these and other issues…..
She was trying to help me with the Lakota way of connecting with my inner child, that precious and pure little 👨👦 Innocent person…
the person that I once was before I was used and abused and “written upon” by people who only have selfish or self serving aims…
During the entire conversation, I kept thinking of you and your teachings! ❤️🦋❤️ Everything that she suggested that could help me was amazingly so similar to what you are teaching us! Of course, the terminology she used, which is based on the Lakota teachings, was different but the gist was the same!
It was a wonderful and tearful time spent with her and I wanted to share with you the joy that I felt being able to connect your teachings with her teachings!
If I hadn’t been practicing NARP for the past few years I don’t think I would’ve been able to understand any of what she was trying to tell me today and I’m so grateful to you for that!
If I sound a little amazed, it’s because I am and I am so happy to be amazed! Thank you so much, Melanie! Much love to you! ❤️🦋❤️
I think this is one of your best posts. It was powerful and healing. It gives all of us hope that we will achieve the power of being our authentic selves and glowing with our Light.
Thank you Kai for your lovely message.
I love that this resonated with you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you for such a wise, “Enlightening” message Melanie. 🌟 During a recent 43 minute tirade, thanks to being lead to your work in January, I became even more of the observer. This article grants me the delineation and wings I’ve sought. With Gratitude Cate
Hi Cate,
please know how welcome you are, and thank you for being a lovely Member of our wonderful community!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie
I can not thank you enough for your information. It is simply priceless to those off us who can’t afford to join NARP. The fact that you continue your posts tells me you are truly in this to help others
Thanks to you, I am recovering. I slipped a few times. But now I am proceeding with a divorce and I am no longer crying. I don’t know how I will survive, but I’m not afraid anymore. My confidence is growing and I am getting stronger.
I read and/or listen to everything you post. If it weren’t for you, I would not have known what a narcissist was and would still be stuck in that misery. Bless you Melanie.
Hi Jackie,
I’m so pleased I have been able to help you lovely lady!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Melanie, you have been such a tremendous help in my healing journey…3 years narcissist free! Every now and then one do cross my path but don’t hover for too long. They do have a tendency to ask the right questions just to use your weaknesses against you. Be the light, be vigilant, be authentic and stay free. Blessings to all xoxo
Hi Vanessa,
congratulations to you!
Thank you for your blessings to all!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I got fed up that the narcissist who is also my Twin Flame was pursuing me covertly and amorously for years cyberstalking me on my website on a daily basis even while he was walking down the aisle to say his I dos to his partner now wife
He seems to think he owns me and tries to lay claim to something he has never done anything to really be deserving of He has behaved towards me like the spiritual drop kick of the millenium with his rage at God because he couldnt come my way honourably
Even though I tried to steer and honourable course and go no contact .He asserts his presence in my world on a daily basis through leaving comments on one of my websites daily (cyberstalking me ) He was triangulating me with is wife
He lies and acts like his left hand doesnt know what his right hand is doing .He runs completely rough shod over all y values and ethics and I finally got fed up with it all and told the wife everything…….I feel very aligned t the sacred feminine values and felt I was doing the right thing in trying to create some boundaries and ethics for all three of us and set a standard but now I feel like crap that I have probably busted up a marriage which i didnt have a problem with just a problem with the lies he keeps spinning about me to cover his tracks This is a man I have really loved deeply and dearly and I just feel like its every which way but win with him
Hello Wendy: I suposse Melanie will have a right answer for you. Much better than mine. The only thing I can tell of my experience and so much therapie and Mel‘s work which I found 3 years ago, is that what narcissist do are things that can affect us. Sth. like what you went through happened to me when I was 17 till I was 27 (now I am 45) the healings and explanations of Melanie weren‘t out in the world nor internet 😌 So with time I understood he was not my soul mate but as you said a twin flame to my gaps that were already there from my childhood/teenage time. So I concentrated in what I loved and went along all alone (gaps still there) and was not easy to survive and not hide from the world about what happened which I could not quite understand rationally (i was very rational and emotional at the same time) as of course there can and were other narcissists after that and before! 😌 or people with narcissist traits in my friendships. So, the work of narp and boundaries keeps helping me through this but still not thriving. Hopefully with the healings all this keeps getting better. ❤️ This was not real love ❤️ Now I know for sure, but before I felt even confused about this. I hope this helps a little bit
Hi Wendy,
The first red flag I saw in your post is that the narcissists is your “twin flame” that may have been true in the past but if you are walking in your light it’s impossible to be twin flames with a narcissist, why ? Because they are DARK BEINGS a force of evil sent to destroy… you can’t possible be a twin flame with a dark soul if you are healed. Your light and his darkness cannot exist together! Light removes darkness they’re not twins. Light conquers darkness! You can’t have a mirror image with a dark soul unless that darkness is still apart of your soul (which is okay because we have to start somewhere) I connected with my ex narcissist because I was walking in darkness and that’s how he was able to slither into my life and destroy my soul.
The second red flag
I lot of HE! He did this and and did that. Once you allow the light into your life HE doesn’t matter. What he does, what he says, who he married, what they think, what they did, how you tried. Once the light switch is turned on it’s GONE! All GONE! I think a lot of our ex narcissist have done exactly what you are saying (I know mine did) but once I found the light I found ways to keep him off my social media and out of my life FOR GOOD! Today after (5) years he wouldn’t dare come on my page, you know why? I’M HAPPY 😅 I’m free, loving, full of light life and joy THEY CAN’T STAND IT! And they know when it’s genuine because it kills them. I just wanted to share you’re not alone, a lot of them do the same things, we were in love with evil that’s the reality and the battle isn’t with him and what he does it’s with you and what you do for your soul. Sure my ex told lies about me, he even shared deep dark secrets with others that’s what they do! It’s apart of their modus operandi!
Maybe take some time to focus more on you and less on him and his wife?. There is a Powerhouse of a tool inside you Wendy, and it must be used to the fullest to be free. He is not your twin he is a evil force that will destroy you, even while being married to another woman THEY DO NOT LOVE ANYONE! Don’t waste another second in his lair, it’s a graveyard for the dead.
I pray nothing I’ve said has been offensive. I’ve been there and the other side is so beautiful 🤩 your beautiful and you don’t deserve the games these devils play. He will do this until YOU make it stop, and your weaponry isn’t physical, sending his wife proof, (been there done that!) NO! No! No! It’s spiritual, it’s in the healing ❤️🩹 it’s in the light 💡
Denise, you have articulated the issue with precision and added another layer of depth to this article for those who have yet to understand where they are in this battle. Whether it be a man or woman (a woman in my case – married/together 35 years and a man I hired and battled with for nearly two years) the narcissist is not a real person, they appear to be people of intellect and power, but in reality they are the biggest liars and cowards I’ve ever encountered. If you shed light and you stand your ground, if only for a moment, and you become an observer and not their victim you will see who they are. They cannot be in the presence of truth and light. They might endure it for a brief period of time to see if it (truth and light) is real or sustainable, but as you stay true to yourself they will not see any value in being around you and fly off to find their next victim. I know the trauma, the pain, the crazy making, the projection, the criticism, the rationalization of their behavior, the cognitive dissonance and the soul crushing damage that they can do. I feel sorry for those who are not aware that these people exist, I was once one of those people for over half my life. I’ve broken free from the bondage and although I suffered financially I cannot believe how free I feel. I owe a huge debt of gratitude and credit to Melanie, this community and all the others on social media teaching people about narcissists and not only the damage they cause, but how to recover from the abuse. It is abuse, soul damaging abuse. Thanks to everyone that contributes to these discussions on a regular basis, you are a blessing.
Narcissist are not anyones twin flame. They suck your energy which makes them seem “like you”. You cannot love this person truly. As with any narcissistic its an addiction and trauma we are trying to subconsciously solve.
You aren’t really in love with him.
You are in love with the false image he portrays based on his false promise to heal your wounds.
Thank you Mel, for this article! 💜
Hi Erica,
Dear Lady you are so welcome!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thanku so much for helping all of us . It’s a traumatic experience when the narcissist is the boss of your house , has the most income input, he she has isolated you from everyone…and since this has gone tooo far …uv lost yourself trying to defend yourself every , every time!!! And now uv become that bitter person who snaps at those who are not narcissists. Who better than u who understands. This person is always trying to make the people close to my heart go against me . It’s just too much. I need to change if they aren’t willing.
I’m trying to read your insta posts and live above the water , survive in this house.. May God help us live peaceful lives and take away those narcs away from our lives for good soon. Amen!
This is a great article. There comes a time where you have to take responsibility for yourself. Since the narc is so damaged, I discovered that one of the reasons I was attracted to them was because I was able to focus on his issues (since he was so much worse than I) and didn’t have to focus on my own stuff. He was a great distraction from my own fear of looking within and feeling the pain that I needed to heal. He was using me, and I was using him. Until I did the work nothing changed. Yes, they are an evil force, however, darkness is darkness. It’s lifechanging when you accept your defeat, feel your rawness, burn, and rise from the ashes to shine!!!
The narcissist puts 100% of their energy into devaluing their target, it is no wonder they never get well. I think for the rest of us, this is a shocker…..who would ever do that? But, I have seen people do it, so I can no longer deny people out there like that exist. I wanted to believe that other people took responsibility for their actions and were at the very minimum, at least honest. But, not so with a narcissist. They do seem to thrive in chaos and mayhem and love pointing the finger at another person’s faults or shortcomings. At first I found this somewhat fascinating, but now I just see it as empty. It is an empty person trying desperately to cling to some type of existence.
I have done the healings and for anyone who hasn’t delved in yet, I highly recommend doing them. I agree that actually facing our own trauma does somehow free us. I feel much less triggered than I did even 4 months ago. I see these people for what they are now. I am growing in compassion for everyone. I feel hope again, and anything I have “lost” is not quite as devastating anymore. I lost some things I needed to lose. Anyone who is going through this type of abuse, please know that you are not alone. And there are countless others who are going through it too. wishing everyone quick healings and recovery. take care.
Melanie,
I read your weekly posts and find them timely and helpful. This one is especially powerful to me, because it helps me understand that my intention in the 40-year marriage to a narcissist was to give love and be a light, but I was allowing him to dim my light and harm my self esteem. I didn’t understand narcissism…that i was in a spiritual war, an unseen energetic war. But after several years of healing and learning about energy and filling myself up with my true Source light, I get it! I feel like I am free and expanding and evolving. Thank you for this valuable help! You are rescuing many people from the darkness of narcissism. 🙏
I love that you are healing and going free Gerinina,
please know how welcome you are!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Nothing offends a narcissist more than the simple blunt truth.
It opens the gates of their own hell and they’d rather died than face the empty void within that is their hell.
I can’t get my narcissist to leave now that he knows I’m truly over it
I copied something I read once and I’ll repeat it here because it feels like truth:
To anger a neurotypical person, lie. To anger a narcissist, tell the truth.
I am 3 years out of a costly relationship with a narcissist who stole my money and my trust and my energy. After several years of numbness and lethargy, I told him to get out; one week later, he set 3 fires in my basement and lied about it. I had to sell the house where I lived for 32 years and raised my son at a loss. I lost a lot of things with sentimental value in the move. I found out online several days after I put in an insurance claim for the fire that my homeowner’s insurance had been canceled 2 months earlier because I did not pay one bill in 15 years because I never got it. I did not have $200,000 to restore the house or the energy for several months of a legal battle with the insurance company and then doing the restoration IF I won. I’m still sad and angry about losing my house and the things in it that can’t be replaced. I’m also embarrassed that I fell for the narcissist’s false self and the wonderful sex of the lovebombing phase. Like everything else that seems good with a narcissist, that did not last. His final manipulation was to leave me his dog and that worked out to be a positive; she is very protective and over reacts to every noise in our driveway so I know no one is getting in our new house uninvited. Even strangers to her that I want here get snarled and barked at, like the electrician and plumber and my son. She is very snuggly and warm and keeps me company until she wakes me up by barking in my ear because she heard a car in the neighbors’ driveway. That is unpleasant but she was his dog so she never learned any social skills. Despite the painful loss of the dog he had when I met him who died after he was hit by a car on the road in front of the house, he never taught this one to stay out of the road either. I know he loved the dog that died and grieved him for months but did not train this one at all. He actually encouraged her to run out into the road by throwing a frisbee across the lawn and the road into the brush across the street in front of the woods there. He threw it without regard for the few cards that drove by our house and she was so focused on one of her favorite toys, that she ran blindly after it. When I walked her around the neighborhood with a leash, I had to pull her out of gardens that were right next to the road and away from moving cars and came home with aching shoulders every time. He yelled at anyone who let their dog on our lawn. It was my house and my lawn but he mowed and took care of it and I’m sure she went on other peoples’ lawns all over the neighborhood because he walked her without a leash. She might have stayed at his side because she was devoted to him; the day after the fires, he left without a word and she cried like her heart was broken for an hour. I was glad to see him go but felt bad for her; I decided then that I was keeping her because i was worried she’d never recover from another trauma if I sent her to Pit Bull Rescue to be trained and then rehomed. She was tarumatized byt the fire and all the strangersthat came to the house that day and by him leaving the next day. She was his dog but he brought her to live in my house too young, at 5 weeks old, so we had a partial bond, reenforced every time he disappeared for a week or two and it was just us together. She growls and snarls at strangers because she is afraid of them but it is difficult foe me that it is hard to have a friend come over to see our new house. Or the electrician or plumber…….
thank you all your emails come at the right time. Because of you I have a chance to live again
Hi Michelle,
I am so pleased that my material helps you and your son
Mel 🙏💞🦋
thank you all your emails come at the right time.
Because of you I have a chance to live again
My son is listening to your classes.
My children’s dad started being abusive when I was 8 months pregnant. Known him since hi school but started dating in 2014 when I got a new car job and apartment. Later on we have two girls 1 and 5 . I have everything going for my self. I’m a designer I love research and education. To have beautiful daughters my lights in my life..when ever I was resting as a mother he turned cold. Sick during the pandemic with kids he turn cold . Needed a ride , grocery store runs. Reassurance for parenting he turned clod . Even his mother grandmother and sisters aunts cousins . I had to break free from the darkness and when I finally did . I felt a darkness presence and i asks god to heal me from it . Because in reality I was unconscious, I felt detached during confusion. But I will never forget his behavior and presence it was a demon and when he left . His spirit approached me in my sleep. I was hearing things in my kitchen , knocking smells. The devil was trying to break me . But I broke free. I never experience a miracle so heavy . That I knew it was God showing up for me but I had to fight like I was an angel in the field. Like the matrix . I have been leaning so much from your videos that . I think back on how I knew I was wrestling with a spirit . So many people are not ready for that discussion so it made me feel kind of crazy . Because of all that I had excepted the Lies and pain . Its heartbreaking to realize and if It wasn’t for my daughters . I could never want this for them , so I had to never go back. I was free from his emotional baggage last November stopped all intimacy . we broke up in January of course around his birthday . He tries to come back of course ..I shared with him I couldn’t be with him no longer it was to much pain and I was healing . I was firm started working on myself breaking away from the pain in my gut . Day before Mother’s Day he proposes . I was scared sad hurt because he knew that’s what I always wanted . He didn’t even respect my space and choice . I gave in, two months later he almost kills me slamming me in a choke hold to the ground in our living room. Snuck behind me . All because I asked him to go to the grocery store … and of course because I told him stop telling my baby “yes “ all the time , can he please stop buying my daughter excessive toys all the time when they go to the store everyday . Clutter he complains about . But my neck was strained I couldn’t believe how devilish he was . It was like he was waiting to hurt me , like he needed to hurt me for his own evil pleasures. Right in front of children . I’m working on forgiveness and prayer. Thank you for your informative literature Sky