The Isolation Of Narcissistic Abuse

There’s nothing lonelier than being misunderstood, especially after the toxic person in your life has purposefully isolated you and stolen your independence by dismantling your support structure.

And just when you need support the most, you’re made to feel defective, wrong and even crazy by everyone around you.

Because without you knowing it, the narcissist has been covering their tracks by smearing you and accusing you of doing what they have been doing all along.

So for people looking in, the wrong person is actually the right person, the right person is the wrong person and everything gets turned on its head.

I barely made it out of this damaging situation alive and when I was unraveling it to find a way through this, there really was no way to heal from this situation – but now there is. And in my latest Thriver TV episode I will explain how I was able to escape this awful isolation and loneliness so you can too.

 

 

Video Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to look at the awful isolation and feelings of being alone when suffering narcissistic abuse. We’re going to be checking out how the narcissist isolates you, why you feel like you’re the problem and nobody understands, how the narcissist smears and turns people against you, and the healing journey of self-partnering and how you can turn it all around.

Just before we get started, I want you to remember to hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already, and like this video, if you find it helpful.

 

How You Become Isolated

Let’s look at how this all begins. It’s about how you become isolated. Narcissists like to make you dependent. They like to circle around you and enclose you. And how that happens is they dismantle your support structure.

Now, my work is always about taking your power back and being able to empower yourself to heal and learn and get out of this and never find yourself in it again. So that’s why understanding your support structures is really important.

And maybe like my previous self, your support structures have been a bit scanty. Maybe you’ve always felt misunderstood. You felt like you’re a black sheep, you’re on your own. You haven’t been able to fully trust and connect to people.

And then the narcissists came into your life and seemed like they were the light of your life and they got you and they understood you and they were your world.

Maybe your support structures and your interests and your life was scanty or nonexistent, or maybe you gave them up very, very easily because this person became your world. I don’t know. I’m not saying that was your life. It was definitely mine, but it’s just something to think about.

Now, what happens is when this person becomes the center of your universe, it’s for better or for worse. And at the start, it’s like, “Oh my God, I feel so connected to you. You’re amazing.” But later on, it’s like Stockholm syndrome. It’s like, “Oh my God, my day can be sane or it’s going to be insane because of what you are or you aren’t doing.”

 

How You Start To Feel Defective And Misunderstood

So then what happens, this leads on to… from after getting isolated covertly or overtly, or you’ve just given up your rights and fallen into it, you start to feel really misunderstood and even defective.

The narcissist erodes your voice, your rights, your self-esteem and your Life Force. And when you try to tell people what’s going on, they don’t believe you because unless you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, you can’t even begin to imagine what narcissistic abuse is like.

It seems insane. You’re telling them things that have been happening and they can’t even comprehend these things. You can’t even comprehend them. So you can seem like you’re crazy, or there’s something wrong with you.

And of course, the narcissist is doing the street angel, being really lovely to people. They may even be telling people that they adore you and they care about you and you’re the one that looks like the crazy one.

Whatever they’re playing or however they’re doing it, people probably aren’t believing you that something’s going on.

Or maybe, because this was my thing too, you might’ve come from painful, difficult relationships. And then people, you’ve been convincing them, “No, this is different this time. This person is really, really great.” And they’re really happy for you and they’re a little bit reserved.

And then when things start going wrong, you don’t want to admit it. You don’t want to admit you’ve got it wrong again, or you’re not happy again, or something is wrong. Or maybe you’re just embarrassed and you’re trying to keep up a really good front to everybody. Whichever way it’s going, you’re feeling isolated and misunderstood.

 

Smearing, Triangulation And Abuse By Proxy

Then when things get worse and the cracks get deeper and bigger, it will lead to smearing, triangulation and abuse by proxy.

Let me explain what this means. When things start getting really bad in your narcissistic relationship, the narcissist covers their tracks by smearing you. So everything they’re doing, they accuse you of doing.

So for people looking in, the wrong person is actually the right person. The right person is the wrong person. Everything gets turned on its head and you get more and more triggered and incensed and hurt by being accused of things and people believing things and saying things that the narcissist is doing and they think you’re the wrong person.

The narcissist also could be setting up sources of narcissistic supply on the side because narcissists are drug addicts – narcissistic supply is the name of the game, it’s attention, it’s energy, it’s resources.

Now, when they start wearing you down and wearing you out and running out, they’re ready to jump ship.

It’s like a drug addict that has multiple drug dealers. When they’re going to run out of a drug supply from one drug dealer, they need to have others waiting in the wings. So they’re already grooming other people and setting them up, or they already have them on the side.

Now what they do need to do is make sure you don’t find out and they don’t find out. Unless of course, you’re going to hang around if you do find out and get even more upset and incensed, and that gives them more of a feed of significance.

But if they were going to lose you or lose that other person if they all found out, what they’re going to do is set you against each other.

So this will be somebody that they might talk about, but they don’t ‘like’ that person. This person’s horrible, but they’re actually having an affair with them. And they’re going to tell that person that you and them are arguing, you’re not sleeping in the same bed together. All sorts of crazy stuff goes on with triangulation.

Abuse by proxy is where they’re telling authorities or friends or family that you’re doing all of this horrible stuff to them that they’re actually doing to you.

Then other people come after you and start abusing you, thinking that you are the narcissist, that you’re the bad person. All of this stuff is terrible. Of course, it’s horrible. And it’s dismantling you. It’s making you feel even more isolated, more traumatized, more misunderstood, and more depressed and just … it’s awful.

And you know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve been through it. And these are in the advanced disintegration stages of a narcissistic relationship – where you feel so isolated.

 

How To Heal From This

This brings us to the next point, because it doesn’t get much worse than that.

How to heal from this.

The good news is … Well, what the bad news used to be was back in the day when I was unraveling this and finding a way through this, there really was no way to heal from this.

I’m just going to be really straight with you, there was – you could just hope to get out traumatized and half dead and hope to somehow get on with your life, which most people didn’t do very effectively.

But the good news is now there is a way to heal from this. And that’s what we’re so proud about regarding the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) because it allows you to be able to heal in the ways that I’m going to explain to you now.

The true healing for this is about a spiritual awakening. It’s about realizing that this is a deep healing opportunity because you have felt alone and misunderstood.

When we’re in that place, what happens is we’re in our left brain from beta brainwave, which is panic and it’s fear and it’s trauma, and we feel helpless and hopeless, and we’re trying to find something from outside of ourselves to make it better, to fix it, to give us information, to give us a rope, a life rope to get out of this big black hole that we found ourselves in. However, that’s not the answer.

And it’s literally Quantum Law that if you’re in trauma on the inside, which is unattended to, everything you try to do and you hang on to and you grasp on to is actually going to give you more trauma.

So this great awakening, this spiritual opportunity of healing is the understanding that the more you want support from things outside of you, when you haven’t yet learned how to support and heal yourself, the less support you’re going to get.

People will turn away from you. Authorities aren’t going to help you – in court systems, you’re going to lose, and it’s just the truth and it’s horrible.

But what does happen when you understand that this is an inner journey of coming home to yourself and doing the healing deeply within to release the trauma and replace it with your highest self and consciousness and Source in your true inner power – you begin to re-partner, you begin to integrate, you begin to heal and find confidence and truth and solution and even miracle.

And then the things outside of you start lining up to grant you more of that, and you take your power back.

That’s when, as I discovered in my isolation, where I lost everything and everyone, that when I came home to be the one for myself, then everything turned 180 degrees.

The police realized the truth, the people who had set against me saw the truth. Everything he was trying to do to me fell apart.

People came back, new people came, solutions came, opportunities came, healing came, recovery came. Why? Because the support and the healing that I had granted myself generated more of that.

That’s exactly what happens and that’s what people experience in our NARP community every single day. And I want you to know that you don’t even know this is such a feeling of – I’m alone, I’m misunderstood, nobody understands me.

We have an entire global NARP community that understands and knows, and are there to help support you, but they’re going to help you support yourself. That’s the thing.

How do you feed a fisherman? You don’t give him a fish every day. You teach him how to fish for himself. This is about empowering you with that support behind you and around you to hold you. That’s what our NARP community does.

 

Conclusion

So to conclude all of this – this is about detaching from trying to grab something from outside of yourself or change other people’s minds or make them see the truth, and come home to come within so that you validate yourself and your own healing.

Then you find that when you no longer need that from outside of yourself, it will come in greater abundance that you could ever imagine. And then you understand the deepest truth that really, this was your Inner Being calling out for you all along.

I hope that this really helps you understand what you’ve been going through.

There are different levels of narcissistic abuse, absolutely, and what you’ve been trying to cope with and the stages you’re going through. And I want to help grant you a clearer understanding of that and how I can help you do that is with my 11 Tell-Tale Signs of a Narcissist Quiz.

You can connect to that by clicking the link at the top right of this video. That’s going to help you understand the level of what you’ve been going through as well as granting you a free seven-day roadmap to get clarity and true healing.

And if you really want to go for gold and get your self-partnering and your healing going straight away, you can connect to NARP. I’m going to put the link in the description box below.

I hope that you’ve enjoyed this episode, that it’s given you some hope and that you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel with this.

Until the next one, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving because there is nothing else to do. And I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.