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Fear is a really big part of narcissistic abuse.

Not knowing how things will end up when you’re being emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially smashed, fuels that fear.

It totally feels like your outcome is bleak … but is it?

Beyond the threats, the devastation, powerlessness and lack of support there is a way to bypass the brain and let the body lead you out of fear.

Let me explain this Quantum Truth to you in my latest Thriver TV episode.

 

 

Video Transcript

One of the most terrifying things about a breakdown with a narcissist is that you have no idea how it will end up.

Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially you’ve been smashed.

You know that if you stay you will continue getting ripped to pieces, despite all your efforts to make it otherwise.

You know that if you leave that things could get even worse.

You may be facing court battles for property, businesses, resources and even your children.

The narcissist might already have seized control and ownership of many things, threatening you with how horrible they can make your life in the future.

Your outcome looks bleak.

But is it?

That question is what today’s episode is all about.

Before I get started, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission which is about a true solution to heal from narcissistic abuse.

And also remind you, that if you haven’t yet subscribed, please do.

Okay, so on with today’s episode.

 

How The Mind Perceives This

When you are in the throes of narcissistic abuse looking at the devastation of your world around you, absolutely you feel powerless.

And, it feels like you don’t have the health, sanity and resources left to go on with.

Additionally, it seems like other people don’t get it, aren’t being supportive and are not holding the narcissist accountable. They may even believe that you are the problem.

To add insult to injury, commonly legal personnel and the court system aren’t helping you either.

Things absolutely are bad, and no matter where you look there is no logical, physical proof that things can get better.

Yet, there is a deeper possibility of resurrection here that you may have never come into contact with yet.

And that is really normal because we’ve all been separated from our innate power, which is to know yourself as the Creative generative force of your experience.

We’ve been programmed to look to the outside world to try to get our answers and our power there instead.

I so know what it is like to be in this place, as I know many of you have or still do. It is completely typical of the breakdown of narcissistic abuse. And 100% understandable. However, I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way.

This is happening because you haven’t yet done the journey from the mind into the body to become the true Creator of your future.

Here is the divine dichotomy with this – when feeling traumatised and out-of-control, this is exactly the time when you need to make that shift the most, and it is the time when it’s the hardest to do it.

Let me explain …

 

When Traumatised, The Mind Is Energised

In narcissistic abuse breakdown the trauma is off the charts. You’re lucky to be able to make yourself a cup of tea let alone formulate a way to survive, break away and successfully rebuild your life.

Of course, you are terrified about what the future holds. You feel horribly unsafe in the present, and the horrific things in the past haunt you. Why would you have hope for the future?

Please let me explain to you the way your mind works so that you can understand why it is virtually impossible to think your way into a positive outcome.

Your brain is following your body.

The trauma that has infiltrated you, and is now literally inside you smashing your Inner Being, has a life of its own. This produces the intensely hijacking chemicals of fight and flee.

Once upon a time adrenaline and cortisol were incredibly effective to force blood and energy to your limbs to be able to run up a tree to get away from a predator. It was designed as a short-term solution, then when the threat disappeared, your system could reset to normal.

In the extreme trauma of narcissistic abuse, this isn’t happening. Because of the unpredictability, pathology, toxicity and life-sucking aspects of narcissistic abuse, you are constantly in trauma.

This means other critical processes within you are starved of nutrients and energy. Things like the ability to think straight, calmly and solidly. Your immune system is also depleted. This can make you very sick.

When you are in constant trauma, you have become a lesser, more ineffectual being.

Please know this is not your fault at all, it’s just the truth!

What this means is planning, finding solutions and the ability to inspire and generate support with familiars and authorities is seriously compromised.

This is why most people in the devastating breakdown of narcissistic abuse fare very badly. The narcissist often wins, leaving you stripped bare and even more traumatised.

It’s awful, but again it doesn’t need to be this way.

How can your future not end up on the scrap pile of life after being desecrated by a narcissist?

This is how … By doing the switch to putting your body in charge so that your brain can follow.

What does that mean?

I can’t wait to help you understand this, because it’s everything regarding your future outcome.

 

The Difference Between β€œBeing” And β€œThinking”

I really want you to understand the meaning of the word β€œbe-come”.

It means that if you β€œbe” it, then it will β€œcome”. It’s vital to understand β€œbeing something” does not mean β€œthinking something”, it means BEING something.

I want you to feel the word β€œbeing”, as opposed to β€œthinking”.

Can you feel the word β€œbeing” as being in your body, in your visceral? Meaning it is anchored inside you. Which means it just is. It’s who you are being. It is Who You Are.

Now let’s think about β€œthinking”. When you are thinking something, it is a concept. It’s in your head but hasn’t yet transferred down into your Being. It’s not who you are being yet, it’s just what you are thinking.

To distinguish between the two is very important because this has everything to do with your future and how your life is going to unfold for you.

If you are thinking about what you want, and you are not yet anchored in the solid wholeness of your Being, in your body, then no matter what you think it’s not going to be-come your life.

Many of you may know that I am not a fan of the principles of Law of Attraction. The idea is great, but there are so many components missing, especially for people who have suffered high levels of trauma.

There is no way that you are going to be able to hold the thoughts or the visualisations of positive and incredible things happening in your life, such as ample money, a new home, people who love and support you and a wonderful intimate partner, after you’ve been smashed to pieces.

The trauma is just too horrific. There is too much adrenaline and cortisol. There are far too many unhealed inner traumas that you haven’t yet freed yourself from which are causing you to think in ways that completely match that trauma, rather than be able to move into an empowered knowing of the future.

There is the constant battle with these internal traumas, just by trying to survive them and overcome them.

The only way to truly overcome extreme trauma is to turn inwards and do the work directly in your Inner Being. Then you can go free from these traumas and automatically you will start thinking differently.

 

The Truth About Your β€œBeingness”

When you are dedicated to releasing your trauma, you will find that your Beingness was underneath the rubble of the trauma all along. This is your true essence, which is already unconditionally self-loving, self-accepting and able to honour yourself in life.

This is the True You who with so much less effort knows how to be self-generative and make your life work, regardless of what you have been through or what you’ve lost.

The activation of your True Beingness is probably what you have been trying to get from outside of yourself frenetically. For decades I was doing the same until I turned inwards and realised that it already existed within me.

Before this shift, that is everything, we are usually trying to put the β€œgetting” with β€œthinking” in front of the β€œBeing”.

I used to believe, while stuck in my trauma, that if I just tried hard enough to visualise the resurrection of my finances, and a new home, loving supportive people and a wonderful intimate partner that somehow I would be able to land up there.

It didn’t work.

Why?

Because I was attaching all of my Beingness to these outcomes. It made me stay clinging in my destructive marriage. A big part of me didn’t want to let go unless I was somehow able to create these things straightaway. I believed that my very Inner Identity, my Beingness relied on these things.

It certainly didn’t.

I didn’t realise until I let go, turned inwards with total self-dedication and self-love, finally realising that my healing of my Beingness was everything.

Not the Beingness of being able to hold visualisations of money, a home, people and a partner. Rather simply the self-partnering into wholeness with my Being.

I had no idea what that would bring, other than know I needed to do it. To my delight what started to arise very quickly was feelings of inspiration, awakening, wisdom, joy, love, appreciation, energy, health and every other positive emotion you could possibly experience.

None of this was artificial. None of this was produced from things outside of me. It just arose from within.

And, I noticed people and situations started to gravitate around me to support me. The most crazy good things started to happen, incredible synchronicity and support bringing me whatever I needed, appearing literally out of thin air.

Why?

Because I was self-partnered and life had started to partner me profoundly.

This is our natural organic Beingness without trauma.

I promise you that with all my heart.

That’s the alchemy. That’s the power.

That’s the shift.

What do you think your future will be from this place?

Do you think that you need any particular future in order to feel okay?

Or do you believe that you have an open heart connected to astounding resources to magnificently create and enjoy and love the journey?

I know of so many Thrivers, including myself, who have created the most incredible outcomes, that are continually unfolding every day. I am proud to say I have absolutely no idea of my ultimate outcome and destination.

And, so many of us came from narcissistic abuse devastation where it was virtually deemed impossible for us to ever make a comeback.

But I promise you, from a place of deep devotion and dedication to your Beingness, as a result of releasing your trauma, you will know yourself as an unlimited Being.

Maybe today’s Thriver TV episode is one that you will need to watch a few times to absorb these Quantum Truths. Or maybe they hit home straight away!

If this does hit home, I want you to pause the video and write below, β€œI totally get it!”

Okay, so I’d love you to truly anchor this in as Beingness, rather than it just remaining as a concept to consider.

The way I can help you get that shift is in my free webinar. You can come and join me in that process, by clicking this link and reserve your place.

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.

 

Join My FREE 16-Day Recovery Course to Begin
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

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Commments (73) + Leave a comments

73 thoughts on “The Narcissist And The Fear Of Not Knowing The Outcome

  1. What an exceptionally powerful message. It literally has a β€œring” of truth to it. Thank you.

  2. Dear Melanie,

    What a great message today! Thank you!
    So important what you shared about feeling powerless – it’s all about perception!
    And I just love your “look” in this video – beautiful <3

  3. Thank you for sharing this as it is EXACTLY what I need to hear in my life right now! You are a guardian angel for all of us going through a living hell. THANKYOU!!
    Katherine

    1. My friend sent me a ted talk called β€œ gifts in shitty wrapping paper about being resilient without acceptance, the very next day one of your amazing emails pinged into my inbox at 7am and I awoke to the message β€œ how to beat a narcissist in court”. As I was in the thick of all manner of hateful accusations and legal attacks I opened the email, baring in mind I was in a very fragile state at that time. I started to read and sat up straight as you recounted a situation that was almost identical to my own. It was in that moment that I accepted I was truly dealing with a narcissist because what you wrote was my life with him, and I knew you had not been in my home observing our interactions, but there they were almost verbatim….and I kept thinking I was the narcissist…which had worked in his favour for a lot of years.
      Your teachings are freeing, informative and leave no doubt. Thank you so much for offering your free course, I have been living on 81 dollars a week since the end of September last year and could barely feed myself and my son. He lives on 4478.00 a week…that pretty much sums it up right there…..apparently I deserve to be treated this way, everything we owned was in his name, I had 467 dollars after 28 years together, yet we owned close to 4 million in assets that he didn’t want me to have any access to, not even the 50% that all your friends think you are instantly entitled to….and apparently he is the victim in all of this…..
      Your course has shown me the light I am eternally gratefulπŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• thank you.πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

      1. Hi Michelle,

        I am so pleased that my material has been able to help you, and I send you strength, love and power for what you are dealing with.

        May you be blessed always and please know how welcome you are.

        Much Love

        Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

        1. And Mel I wanted to ask you, my friends have been affraid for me as my ex has broken into my home many times (while we were broken up, day and night while I was sleeping) no reasonable answers given when I asked what was the purpose. I do not fear him nor I can’t see how or why he would do something to harm me. So I ask you, what does my lack of fear means? Is this a good or bad thing?
          He has 3 kids and I wouldn’t report him bc I know he would get in trouble with the law. He knows me, maybe that’s why he did that.

          1. Hi Fabiana,

            To me, the lack of your fear is not really the problem. I really believe the lack of boundaries is what enables him to keep doing this.

            His situation with his children is not your responsibility, the looking after your boundaries and well-being is your responsibility.

            Absolutely I would report him and put an end to it.

            I hope this makes sense to you.

            Much Love

            Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

      2. I am woman that has a lot to offer and educated yet I remained in a now I understand to be toxic relationship for 24 years of marriage. I did not want to give up on failing in a marriage and having him make me miserable and unhappy with his jabs gaslighting I now see that my struggle only made it a battle. He left me and the children promising will maintain us and then as he could not come over as he wish without notice immediately commenced a court battle ongoing to this day a decade later My kids suffer from depression but he pays their tuition at university as out of my country v( uses that as why he so poor and cannot settle the case ) Sadly my siblings side with him my kids are still loving to me but very torn. He introduced women that were my friends to them constantly. Slept with these women while my kids stayed over I am using your modules and videos. It seems so much that. Have to work on I have lost money to him. he has cause a bank to indebt my home he structurally changed another property so I cannot get that property
        without much delay He appears so charming and sems all love him My story is a lot cannot write so much

        Just to let you know thanks but to others that they have my true understanding as I can empathize. Their struggles resonate me deeply

    2. I can’t remember how many times I’ve been back and forth in the relationship. We are on, what I like to say “my last break up”, but I have found myself in the sad situation of accepting him back and believing in his deceitful “truth” every time. I can’t take no more and so I’m back to the videos hoping to regain my strength and achieve a healthy state of mind. I had stopped watching the videos when my mind became confused between the contents of it and and my ex’s deceiving and manipulating words. From all the videos I have watched my ex fits all the narcisits profiles, no questions asked. And I know I am the only one to end this pattern that has damaging my emotional, mental and physical state. I have gained 16lbs and have never been in something like this before; and so, how a woman like me has fallen into the works of a man like that – I asked myself- it is so disturbing and damaging. This has been my one experience of such unhealthy relationship and my need to understand what this was lead me to you Mel. Your work is so important, so valuable and educational that I can thank you enough for making available to us. I pray to God that this time I am able to break this sick cycle I’ve been part of for almost 3 years😒.

  4. How do you manage the fear when you have to attend a domestic violence court case and recall all of the horrendous behaviour to you and your children knowing that the narcissist may end up having access to you and the children again? I completely understand your process but how do you manage in this situation which would make anyone nervous and uncomfortable?

    1. Hi Jane,

      my heart goes out to you and I’m so sorry that you and your children have had to go through this.

      My NARP Program http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp creates the ability through working with the modules to release the most hideous fears and traumas.

      Absolutely, feeling the fear and trauma is normal to the human experience and totally understandable, yet this is a very powerful inner system to be able to release them and emerge clear and powerful in the face of adversity.

      This is why the people who do the diligent work with NARP are able to create unprecedented and powerful breakthroughs even in the most challenging of circumstances.

      I hope this explains, and ultimately until you do start working with NARP, this may seem impossible, until you start actually leaving the results.

      Sending love, healing and power to you and your children. Please know it is possible to get through this.

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  5. I don’t get it. How do I stop hating myself and be a loving being to myself? The horrible thoughts keep coming and I don’t know how to live anymore.

  6. Dear Mel,

    I feel so close to being my true self. I am in the process of being whole.
    Each module I work on the NARP program shows me this truth. My healing
    unfolds new layers for me to get rid of the junk that has been stuck in there, and each time it lifts me to being the newest version of the real me.

    I agree with you Melanie, working on the Law of Attraction did not work because the junk inside my being was simply wrestling away all of the “good positive thoughts”. Meanwhile, the Narc had a field day with this particular angle of siphoning off energy, etc..I am the kind of person who does not give up so easily, so that is what prolonged the lesson for me along with peptides and etc., and I do not mind this lesson anymore, all I want is freedom to be me, and to thrive as I was born to do.

    I have upgraded to the Gold plan today- this is such an incredible gift to me! I am beginning to realise that I’m worthy of my own self care and love. I never would have guessed how hard it would be to do this, but I find moving forward so much pleasanter than what was in the past version of my life.

    I don’t know what the future holds for me, I have nowhere else to go but inward right now, and I am thankful for this every day.

    I have a mission to do this for myself, and I am grateful that you have paved the way so beautifully.

    As spring comes here to New England, there has been a wind in the air that whips up, and it is so fresh it seems to bring in these wisps of feelings of hope. Hope is something I have not thought about in a very long time. I am in the midst of hope!!

    Happy Mothers Day to you Mel, and All of the Mom Narpers out there:) xoxoxoxoxo,

    Gen

    1. Hi Gen,

      That’s wonderful!

      I love that you’ve upgraded to Gold Membership; there is so much growth, wisdom and support in the NARP members forum. It really does catapult our member’s healing capacity even further.

      I love that you are anchoring into peace, joy and hope.

      You so deserve this. We all do.

      Sending you love and continued blessings, and thank you for your blessings and Love to all Gen, it’s very thoughtful and sweet of you.

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  7. Is there a place to go away from all the mess and trauma to reset. Like a retreat or place you would recommend, I’m on the verge of the mental health ward at the hospital I don’t know where to turn. Help

    1. Hi Jillian,

      My heart goes out to you Dear Lady. I don’t personally know of any place like this, but I do know of how I can help you find relief and clarity, within you.

      These are two of my resources that I would love you to have a look at, that I know can help.

      The first is my free 16-day course http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      and the second one is my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      I so hope that this can help

      Much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  8. I totally get it!. Melanie, thank you. I am ready to start this inward journey (already have bought the course). There is no way out except in. πŸ™‚

  9. Hi Melanie,
    I have just started your Gold Package and about to begin Module 3, it’s amazing so far, thank you so much, so thought provoking to areas I was afraid to explore before and wouldn’t have been able to without you. Thank you so much! I haven’t participated in the forums yet but look very much forward to it ! Xx

  10. Hi Melanie,

    “Being” “be” and it will “come”. This really hit home. You have been a really important part of my healing. I am so thankful. There are bad days and good days. So consistency is really hard to maintain. But “being” is something I can consistently anchor myself in. Therefore, be it a good day or bad emotionally and psychologically, what is important is that i focus on being and not my thinking.

    My Narc once did a play an words for me. He said “Be You Till Full”. I thought he wanted me to feel self love. He was just projecting his need for self love onto me. Ironically he left me empty. It is like he took my “being” my “fullness”. I need to focus on it again.

    Jenny

    1. Hi Jenny,

      that’s great that it did Dear Lady!

      Have you looked into the deeper inner transformational resources that I have? It takes so much of the struggle out of trying to stay in this place, rather it just delivers you into it!

      I can’t recommend enough coming into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar To find out more about NARP and to experience a free Quanta Freedom Healing.

      QFH is such a game-changer!

      I hope this helps and so much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  11. Hi Melanie,

    thank you for another great video!

    And I also want to say how I enjoy seeing the video snippets from your live events, posted on your facebook page. You look like you are so in your element on stage with an audience. I love seeing you on fire, passionately sharing your wisdom with people, radiating such a powerful, sparkly energy!

    Your work has helped me and many others so much.
    Thanks for all you do!
    Kathy

  12. I totally get it, we are eternal spiritual beings, we never finish, we just pursue well being, and being in alignment with God our Source. Our purpose in life is “JOY”

  13. Thankyou for your program it has changed my life.I have found my true self and have finally let go of a belief that was drummed into me all my life which was that if I looked after myself I was being selfish. I now know the importance of self love and self partnering. I have clarity now and a sense of unwavering purpose and an excitement about my future. Thank you so much for the gift you have given.

  14. well first off I want to thank you for sharing….I have been with the narcissist for twenty plus years and when I say i’m done it’s a wrap it took me a while to understand what was happening to me until one day I wanted to know why my ex boyfriend had flip the script on me just out of nowhere and than came the unknown..everything I read about the narcissist fit the script he was the exact person they said he is…my god I felt like I was on a rollercoaster and wanted to get off but didn’t know how to stop the ride once it became to a halt when I got off I was in this fog like state I didn’t know who I were whether I was going or coming the changes in his behavior had me scared, once the mask fell off I knew than I was in trouble this person was a complete monster if I may call him that…omg once I got knowledge of this predator I started my healing right away by educating myself on this condition when I realize that none of this was my fault that’s when I went into action, first NO CONTACT which gave me time to heal myself and start reaching out to someone that had knowledge of this illness and that gave me the courage to not look back thank god I did not needed therapy i’m a child of god and I know I have a bright light shining for all to see and I don’t mind letting it shine bright…to make a long story short…I prayed to my god who sees everything and I put my trust in him to see me through this bcuz there’s no way he would let me go out like that! i’m thankful that this person taught me something about life that I don’t wish on my worst enemy to god be the glory..

  15. I have noticed that at least I haven’t seen any men that suffer narcissists. I assure you there are narcissistic women also. In fact I think my wife borders psychopathy. I can’t figure out if men in general handle this so much better than me because somehow I am weaker as a man and shouldn’t be so internally damaged and invested in these feelings that have literally destroyed me as a person. I don’t think a lot of men think like I do or would allow what I have been through to so completely destroy who they are. Or if famale narcissists are so rare that no one ever hears about it. I am ashamed that I can’t overcome this like everyone thinks I should. It’s been two years and I still stay isolated in my home without any social activity in that time. I haven’t even been to a restaurant. You are a very special person, and I try so hard to listen to you and find something inside of me to bring back the optimistic, lover of life I used to be. I feel at 53 i may just be too old to overcome this and create the loving life I always strived for. I have nothing to offer a “mate” anymore. I can’t do the things i used to or prove my worth anymore. I love you as a person. In a way we are alike, as I have dedicated a lot of my life to helping my friends and family overcome their sadnesses and depression. And I’m good at it with everyone but myself. Somehow I can’t make myself believe the same advice I have given so many others. Seems there is no tool to fix the broken tool. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite, I don’t know. I know you are a busy person and I don’t expect an answer. I kinda don’t think there is one. But I did want to tell you that there are female narcissists. And they do damage men. And that I so respect what you do. I think you are a kind of angel. And I’m sure you have helped countless people. I just think somehow I am different. To this day I can’t tell you how I could love such a horrible person. I think that makes me sicker than she is. Atleast she can be happy. It makes me so regret the good person I have spent my life trying to become. All I did was create a sucker. I think I would rather be a happy jerk. But I can’t treat people that way. Thank you for who you are. I will always watch and listen to you. I like seeing the joy in those you help. It is one thing that makes me smile.

    1. Hi James,

      I promise you in this community narcissistic abuse is not gender specific, and there are many men who have been abused by narcissistic women and are members of our wonderful NARP Thriver Community.

      Traditionally, men don’t tend to come forward, but there have been many incredibly brave and wonderful men in our community who have to are sick of the cycles of abuse and want to heal and be freed into a life of healthier and happier relationships.

      We commend these men!

      I promise you that there are also men in our community in their 70s who have turned their lives around beyond description, because they took on the inner work that was necessary to heal.

      The first step truly is to check out NARP http://www.melaniecheneyevans.com/narp and if you need more information on it then James I can’t recommend enough coming into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      I’d love you to know that there are many men in our wonderful community who you would relate to.

      Much love to you and I hope this helps

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  16. You are right when you say that I will need to listen to this several times. This was my third listening and I am COGNITIVELY struggling to let my body lead. I understand your words, but my struggle is letting the body lead. The first healing I did with you and NARP, I viscerally felt something being pulled out of my core. But, nothing like that since. And I feel there is more in me that wants/needs to break out. Thank you for this…I’ll be working with it awhile, because I don’t know how to get my mind out of the way of my body. Blessings!

    1. Hi MaryAnn,

      are you a Gold NARP Member? My highest suggestion to you is to come into the NARP Members Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member so that we can help support you and guide you as to how to get through to the next stage of your healing breakthroughs.

      If you are not as yet a Gold Member then you can email [email protected] and one of my wonderful ladies will be able to hook you up!

      Much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  17. I had a fire on the 8th of May. I got it out, but had a mild heart attack. I’m okay, no damage, but would you believe how badly the apt,. fire marshal, & police were treating me. I’m reporting the fire marshal for malicious slandar, & not sure what I’m doing with the apt. manager. I have been broken into 6 times & robbed another time & I’m getting treated terrible. No, one does a dang thing, SO I WILL GET ER DONE MYSELF. Right before Mother’s Day, I gave the narc jerk a holic the riot act. He illegally financially abused me & has gotten worse with his lies. I told him I’m going for divorce & sending his crapola to our eldest. Right now, I’m in the midst of a case against a bank & my husband & his brother. When, that is done, unless Verizon rectifies they are next. I’m down sizing my expenses. I’m so depressed how badly I was treated after a heart attack & before Mother’s Day by at least, 10 people or more. On Mother’s Day, we had a heck of a racket with trucks & horns. I went to see what on earth is going on & here it was a bunch of big trucks, with happy Mother’s Day signs on them. I laughed & couldn’t help smiling. One of my new contacts writes me everyday & he is trying to cheer me up & called me a strong woman. Some men, I don’t know wished me a happy Mother’s Day & another man saw a post that I’m leaving my husband (There is no going back) he hurt our kids. Took 7 years to get strong enough to say done deal, but I did. I’m just peachy without him. I brought a step stool in purple with white polka dots & I DO NOT need his 35′ inch arms to reach the top shelf & I can unclog my own pipes. He ghost me on Mother’s Day, of course, but I didn’t even notice. LOL The manager is concerned about me, so she said & wants to talk to me, but I don’t want to talk to her. She also told me someone is trying to reach me through them. Not sure, if I’m interested. I’m tearing my office a part, redoing it. My site Angels at work is almost ready to get its start. Got into my advocacies even more & very political. I’m tired of this madness, rolling up me sleeves & going to fight the good fight. How many narcissist does it take to put in a light bulb? None! They use gas lighting. LOL Have a wonderful week, Melanie!!

  18. Thank you Melanie for your insights. I hate you went through this, but thankful that I believe God led me to your healingness. Yes, I said healingness, because I know when I come out of denial, This is where I need to need
    I hold on till there’s nothing left to hold on to. Why? This is who I am. I hope against all hope while I feel I have already lost my mind. I pray, I ask God’s help. And all the while, keep on going. I know I need this. But why do I continue? Because it is ” I ” who loves with all her heart. Been married twice. This time for 28 years. I see the signes, feel hos wrath, and pain in my broken heart knowing how much he hates me. Tell me my friend. “WHY ” do I do this knowing it’s already over? I get cusses. Worse, we work at the same place,. And I see haw kind and sweet he treats these other women. THIS IS SO DANGEROUS. Cause, I am dangerous. To him and to myself.. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. and I will keep reading and listening to your videos..

    1. Hi Readi,

      I’m so sorry that you are going through this.

      Please know that what you are feeling and experiencing is the mindbending addiction of narcissistic abuse. Staying connected when we know that it is virtually destroying us.

      I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar To learn the deeper truths about what is going on, and how you can get clarity and relief and heal from this.

      I hope that this helps, and sending you love and strength at this time

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

    1. Hi Readi,

      I’m not technically minded, but maybe refresh, or if that doesn’t work clear your cache and try again?

      I hope that this helps.

      Much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  19. I totally get it! Despite sitting in the rubble with the ringing of the bomb in my ears and further very real threats all around me and very much ahead of me I actually feel excited about the journey! I have have suffered for 50 years at the hands of an ‘off the scale’ narcisstic mother and until 3 weeks ago a ten times worse covert malignant narcisitic sister but now with the full realisation comes, for the first time in my life, the possibility of freedom and I’m going to run towards it with every fibre of my ‘being’. Thank you so much Melanie. You are literally an angel unlocking the cages of so many beautiful birds who, up until now have never experienced the power and the freedom and total joy of taking to their own wings! I don’t know how long i’ve got left in this world but I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life effortlessly gliding high on those thermal currents. I know my next few moths might more closely resemble a little chick falling from its nest but I know I’ll get there. Wish me luck!!! I so wish the very best of the same to all those gaining strength from your fantastic work. xxxxxx

  20. What’s the title of the episode where you mention the narc claiming they are just trying to help you, yet are not because help doesn’t destroy your life.

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