Melanie Tonia Evans

What It Means To Be An Evolutionary Mother

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 6
22
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

I’d love to extend out my love to you this Mother’s Day. I know that today can have some very mixed and even intensely painful feelings depending on your current situation.

My heart goes out to those of you who have suffered the terrible trauma of parental alienation from your daughters and sons and those of you who have a narcissistic daughter or son.

And of course, there are those of you who have a narcissistic mother.

Today, I want to share with you my beliefs about how as Mothers we can heal and grow and become Evolutionary Mothers, helping teach our daughters and sons, through our own healing and examples, how to become whole and healthy and generate relationships of mutuality, respect, and genuine love and kindness.

And of course, how to change the patterns of abuse and abused for them and their future generations.

I also want to share with you today information about how we are in rapidly changing times, which are calling us all to make a shift into wholeness and health for ourselves and the future of humanity … and how Mothers have such an incredible power and ability to affect this in incredible ways.

I also talk about how we can help our daughters emerge as beautiful, strong and smart women who will not be susceptible to abuse and handing their power away … which is exactly how women need to be in these evolving times.

 

Episode Transcript

I really wanted to share with you this topic for Mothers Day, because it is one very close to my heart.

And I believe it is one that is very important for the future of humankind going forward in order to have relationships of unity, trust, respect and true mutuality, cooperation and partnership.

Today we are going to talk about how as Mothers we can model this evolutionary path for our daughters, as well as our sons, to create a greater respect and healthier mutuality between the sexes.

When I discuss this topic with men, about women being more empowered (especially those men who are quite old-fashioned) I find the best way to begin is to ask them this: ‘Would you like your daughter to be brought up by parents who taught her her values and worth, or would you like her to be submissive and subservient in her relationships?’

Of course, the answer is a no-brainer.

This Thriver TV Episode is not about attacking men. I am deeply passionate about equal rights and the feminine being valued, but in no way does this mean I am discrediting the masculine. Fundamentally I am a humanist, and I no shape or form do I believe that men aren’t abused and treated horrifically by the opposite sex also.

Also, I am not interested in burning my bra or lifting things that tonne if a man is available to do it, and I adore being feminine and I love men looking out for me. They love doing that too, just as I love offering men what I can to assist them with appropriately as well.

Furthermore, I just want to say on the topic of divisions between men and women … many men in this community cry out and say, ‘You only talk about men being narcissists and women being abused.’ No, this community and my work don’t, and it is also a complete fallacy that this community only caters to women. We have many men who are on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) and who are subscribers to my work and in the NARP Forum. It is just that men don’t speak up and share as freely as women – that is much more innate for us. So guys please post more, share more and get more involved so that your brothers know that you are there. Myself and the MTE team and this entire community of Thrivers love it when you do.

We are all in this together, healing the terrible ways the genders have been at war with each other, as well as how we have struggled so much to embrace the healing of our own feminine/masculine within. We are in times of accelerated change that are significantly overthrowing gender definitions and roles and we are being called more than ever to integrate all of this healthily – if we are going to be able to create and maintain healthy relationships with self and others regardless of gender.

What do Mothers have to do with this? So much … I believe that this is a time where the power of women and emotional connection and healing is giving birth to rapidly ascending times and a New Earth.

What I am deeply interested in, as I know so many of you are too, is in healing abuse and the generations of abuse/abused dynamic that has plagued this word so disastrously. A big part of that is the rise in personal rights, personal value and compassion and consideration for ourselves and each other (otherwise known as Oneness), as well as a better understanding and implementation of emotional health and healthy subconscious conditioning and programing for ourselves and our children and future generations.

As Mothers, we can help midwife this shift. And we need to, as sadly the patriarchal systems have not encouraged, fostered or encouraged emotional health. Rather fear, shame and might were valued. These patriarchal systems also stripped rights away from valuing women, and even granted permission for the abuse of women emotionally, physically and financially. Thank goodness humanity is waking up to this and eradicating it. The ‘No To Violence’ Movement and ‘Me Too’ are such examples of emerging awareness and healing for women.

I can almost hear some women saying ‘NO it hasn’t changed! Men still slaughter women emotionally and over-power them and there is no support in the systems to protect women!’

Then there are those of you men yelling out, ‘WHAT! The systems totally favour women now. WOMEN get the children, assets and destroy men!’

If you are a man who has suffered a terrible narcissistic mother or partners, please acknowledge there are beautiful women out there with hearts of gold, and your own healing can and will being them into your experience, just as the identical truth is for us women regarding the abuse we have suffered at the hands of men.

Please know you are BOTH talking about narcissists, and as I sit back overviewing this entire community, I see BOTH genders trashed financially, and legally by narcissists regularly. This only changes when you heal from the inside out – which is what the Thriver Recovery work is all about. But the actual healing work is not the discussion for today, rather this Mother’s Day episode is about a vision that I feel called to stand up into, and its one that I would love other Mothers to feel passionate about as well – namely leading the way for our children, future generations and our New World.

What I want to talk about today is this evolution of woman and how as mothers we can set a new order and understanding for our daughters and our sons and also our partners.

When we empower ourselves and other women, and significantly our daughters to inspire good men to stand up and respect them and love them healthily, then no more is there the anger and victimhood of how bad and abusive men can be. Also too we minimise the potential for women to be abused. They simply become women who won’t be snared by narcissistic men.

As a woman who has worked on my evolution regarding men (and I desperately needed to), I don’t have a daughter, but I certainly know, if I did, how I would teach her to feel on the inside and express herself. Absolutely in no shape or form would I bring her up to be man hater or feel superior to men. Rather, I would teach her how to be powerful in a heathy feminine way and to share that power healthily.

I would also model for her how to respect and value herself, and how to never tolerate being abused or devalued. I would raise a daughter who would be prepared to lose it all to get it all – to love the sanctity of her own soul first and foremost and to live in a reality generating healthily from that place rather than unrequited potential.

What does it mean to be a powerful feminine woman?

It means to be gentle and loving, as well as fiercely authentic. It means to be our own source of love, approval, security and survival in order to no longer hand our life, soul and power away as a result of powerless dependencies.

How do we teach our daughters to be powerfully feminine?

By leading by example. We cannot take others to where we have not gone ourselves – especially our children. Where our energy goes is where they go.

It breaks my heart when I hear women in the Community with daughters who ask this question? Should I report him for being violent with me? I am scared for my family and myself and my children losing their home and tearing the family apart.

This I know, because I so often previously handed away my rights and truth and safety for the fear of loss – that it is so damaging for our children to see their mother relinquish her rights and remain locked in her disease of co-dependency being abused. Her male children lose respect for her – they sense they don’t have a mother who looks after herself, so why on earth would she be qualified to tell them what to do with their life? Often this loss of respect turns into their own bad and even narcissistic treatment of her. And this is what they see and accept as normal behaviour.

Our daughters don’t have modelled to them their own rights, or the boundaries that abuse and being treated cruelly is NOT on and should never be tolerated, or that there is no other option that to remain trapped in such soul destroying conditions. Naturally, our daughters will also follow the programs of being with and clinging to abusers, no matter how badly they are treated.

The compromising of these essential soul truths is far more impactful than losing bricks and mortar or what was thought to be our children’s essentials. What’s more, absolutely those parents who honour their truth and set the example by leaving abusive situations generally rebuild their lives in a far superior way, as well as inspiring more love and respect from their children as a result of honouring themselves and becoming healed self-generative sources.

It’s Quantum Law – so within so without.

And what is fabulous is their daughters grow up respecting themselves, breaking the cycle of abuse, knowing they have rights and personal power, and their sons grow up knowing it is usual and normal for women to have their own power and command being respected, loved and valued healthily.

This is in stark contrast to the often too familiar programming our generation received from our mothers.

An extract from a 1950s Home Economics Book took the Internet by storm, because it expressed how times have changed and how far we have come.

It spoke about how a woman’s purpose truly was ‘her man”. There were sections in this extract about having dinner ready, preparing yourself, having the house spotless, making the children clean and presentable, don’t have any complaints for him, and make sure the evening is all about him.

When I read this article out to my partner Brad he smiled and laughed and said ‘The perfect women!’ … and then quickly said ‘I’m joking babe!’ when he received my glare that could kill any human at 100 paces!

You see, this is the thing, women were taught not to have rights, not to have a voice and not to make any waves or have any needs. They were taught their soul purpose and survival was to make a man happy so that he would choose her, stay with her and provide for her and the children.

It was usual for her to forego her hobbies, interests, friendships, and choice of career, all for him. Sadly, and tragically that became a recipe for women to relinquish their power to choose and generate their own life and they stayed on in relationships often even when being abused, because he was her ‘everything’.

Of course, I acknowledge that there were old fashioned women who were powerful capable women, and wonderful role models to their daughters … but that is not the stereotype I am talking about. Generally, women were taught to be subservient, and to devote their lives to their men.

Now, we have a rise of the feminine, and as Mothers I believe it is our work NOW to shed ourselves of the powerless, helpless programs and fears we embodied, to claim our Feminine Power and steer our children and this world toward healthy Unity Consciousness.

Whether we are Mothers or Sisters to other girls and women we can help the Divine Feminine by leading by example.

Here are some of the ways I believe we can do this by expressing to her:

  • It is powerful to be feminine, and that it is not weak to be honest, loving and authentic, including sharing what we really feel and what we would really like from others.
  • She can establish her values, rights and truths in order to choose who and what is aligned with those, as well as boundaries and even leave people who are not respectful of those.
  • In this age and time, she can now shed the model of being a powerless and dependent woman on a man for love, security and success, and instead be a generator of her own full and incredible life, and share her commodities with a man who is also full and healthy.
  • She is allowed to say ‘No’ to people when things don’t feel right or healthy for her in her body and Being.
  • Her inner relationship and her joy of being alive and creative is the foundation of her life, whether or not she has a boyfriend or husband, or a female partner if she is gay.
  • She is valued and valuable when she doesn’t have a love partner.
  • Her opinions, observations and intelligence are valuable and valued.
  • Her beauty is within, which then shines out to the world, and she is loved and accepted and enough as she is.
  • She does not need to give up her femininity, heart, creativity, intuition, lovingness and authentic self – no matter how successful she is – in order to be with a partner, and in fact this is her greatest strength magnetism and ability to co-exist with great men (as well as all people and all facets of life).

I hope that has inspired the gorgeous ladies in this Community, and my heart goes out to those of you who have suffered the terrible trauma of parental alienation from your daughters and children and those of you who have a narcissistic daughter or son.

Please feel my love and blessings and I want to remind all my sisters today that you are beautiful and smart and strong.

Please pass that message on to the other amazing women you know, as well as our daughters.

And I’d love you to join me in this energy of being an Evolutionary Mother! If this is something that you are interested in, you can access my free 16-day course which includes my free Quanta Freedom Healing workshop, 2 free eBooks and so much more.

Access your free course by clicking here.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone … lots of love, bye bye.

 

 

(Visited 3,210 times, 1 visits today)
The following two tabs change content below.
Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

Your Free New Life Starter Pack

2 free eBooks free intro Video 2 hour free Webinar
  • Find out if someone in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • Learn how to do “No Contact” and keep it for good.
  • Discover how to get relief from the pain.
  • Learn how to reclaim your life with my 10-step process.

Sign up below to join my Community of over 50,000 people, and receive weekly information, inspiration and tools to get your life back on track.

ssl security padlock   We value your privacy. Your information will never be shared.
22 Thoughts on What It Means To Be An Evolutionary Mother
  • jupitersun@hushmail.com'
    Joni
    May 14, 2018

    Thank you Melanie! This is beautifully written, the perfect email to wake up to on Mother’s Day. You are amazing! Happy Mother’s Day! xoxox Joni

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 14, 2018

      Thank you Joni sweetheart.

      Happy Mother’s Day to you too Dear Lady!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • algonquinn88@gmail.com'
    Janet
    May 14, 2018

    Thank you for this empowering message Mal on this Mother’s Day…I celebrate my new being discovering my power over the past years and love who I am now…I look back on who I was before and I feel sad for that woman but this was the journey I had to take to find me.

    Thank you for being on the journey with so many!

    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Janet

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 14, 2018

      Hi Janet,

      You are very welcome.

      Awww I so love that you took your journey and so many continued blessings to you.

      Thank you sweetheart.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Sunshine49356@cs.com'
    Paulette
    May 14, 2018

    Lucky for me my narcissist daughter who has stolen my retirement money and destroyed my life does not have any children. She left a card for me today on the kitchen table that said something about not getting what you want out of life. What a joke! I had all I needed for a good retirement if she hadn’t stole it from me. After the last five years of living in hell there is no way I can find it in my heart to forgive her. The ONLY reason she is trying to be nice to me now is she figures I’ll die soon and that she may get her hands on what little I have left. If I get my dying wish she will be out on the street with her druggy boyfriend before she steals anything more from me.

    It hasn’t been a Happy Mother’s Day for me since my own Mom passed away at 90 years old, five years ago the 21st of this month. At least she had a daughter who loved her and took care of her the last ten years of her life — me! I guess setting a good example for my daughter didn’t work! She wanted the money I inherited, but she didn’t want to be bothered with making my life any easier. My wish for her this Mother’s Day is that others do unto her what she’s done to me. That the rest of her life will be as miserable as she’s made mine.

    For all the good mothers and daughters out there — I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.

    Paulette

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 15, 2018

      Hi Paulette,

      What you have experienced with your daughter must be beyond painful.

      Sending hugs and love to you and thank you for your wishes to others.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • Sunshine49356@cs.com'
        Paulette
        May 21, 2018

        Thanks Melanie.

        I was just reading one of your articles on what happens to narcissists and if karma ever kicks in and you made some really good points. Especially the part about feeling like a victim and drawing more negative to you. That’s exactly what has happened to me this past year. I believe things will change now because I’m tired of being their doormat and feeling trapped in this mess. My fear has turned to anger. Even if they manage to kill me I’m going to go down fighting.

        I know the only reason they are still around is because they’re using my store property to make themselves more money. The store property was bought and the store started with my inheritance money with the purpose of paying the bills around here, but that has never happened. (ALL the utilities and bills are in my name because they both have bad credit.) They just pocket the money from the store and use some of it to buy more stuff to sell. I’m left to pay the bills every month on my little SS disability check. I hear that the place is a real druggy hangout now and that the police know it too. Why the police don’t do something I may never know.

        My problem with taking it to court is I have nothing in writing. My daughter has hid everything from me like all the records from the store as well as all the deeds to the properties. By the time I realized what was going on she had hid or destroyed all the important paperwork. My mother’s will, my parent’s trust and even their death certificates have disappeared because it left everything to me alone. They had very little of anything when we moved here and now they think they own it all!

        The vehicles I’ve paid for she put in her name. Her and her boyfriend bought a lot of things with cash money they got from me and now they’ve sold a lot of it off and pocketed the money. My daughter was supposed to be keeping the records and receipts of where the money was going but all that has disappeared too. Her boyfriend says I don’t own the property — that I was only an investor! My name is the only one on the deed as far as I know unless they’ve forged something different. I wouldn’t put anything past them anymore! They’re like circling vultures waiting for me to die so they can get their hands on what little is left.

        Believe me when I say this has been a premeditated plan on their part to strip me of everything my mother left me when she passed away. My daughter’s ex-con boyfriend made a living through credit card fraud before he went to prison for drugs. I didn’t find any of this out until last year. By then they had stripped most of my inheritance and it was too late.

        Now all I want is to get them out of my life while I still have a roof over my head. If fate decided to take them out of existence I wouldn’t shed a tear. In fact it would be much easier on me. I don’t even feel guilty anymore that I wish they would just disappear — never to be heard from again.

        I remember reading many years ago that the the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. That’s the point I want to reach.

        Thanks again,
        Paulette

  • Laurievaldez1@icloud.com'
    Laurie
    May 15, 2018

    I think this video was very good and it wakes you up. It’s so funny about the part during the 1950s. It’s so true about that though. I think my mom was the only one that worked when I was growing up and I grew up in the 1980s and my friends mothers were all home and my mom was at work and my father was an alcoholic and he was sickly also. So my mom would work full-time plus come home cook and clean and do all that stuff even though she worked full-time. My dad would help around the house somewhat also But my mom did it all. She really didn’t have time for us and I think that’s when all our problems started as children being raised by an alcoholic father but anyways., I think you’re absolutely right about children and how they look up to you I have a son and he probably does think I’m very weak for staying with his father and the abuse and drugs and alcohol and everything else I endured but on that note it’s funny because sometimes now he’ll turn around and be like mom I can’t believe you just said that and I’ll tell him why I’m being honest and that’s how I feel. And he looks surprised sometimes when I say things because maybe when he was growing up I never said anything. I would just keep pushing things under the carpet I must’ve been delusional I just truly wish I knew what I know now because I know I would be a different person. But I’m going to keep positive keep doing my modules and become stronger so my grandkids can see this. And not make the same mistake I did buy being weak and thinking it’s the 1950s LOL. But realistically there’s a lot of people out there that want their wives to be that 1950s role model and things really need to change because you cannot be that and work full-time and come home and cook and clean and then try to take care your kids. I saw my mother do it and I didn’t work, and it doesn’t work. I also believe what you said though about women and men We need to partner with each other And be on equal levels. That in itself would help our children and their children and that would make the biggest change in the world. Thank you again for all your help Melanie

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 15, 2018

      Hi Laurie,

      I so agree that relationships and home duties need to be a team effort if a woman is not be completely exhausted after working as well!

      And she is much more avaliable to love her children and man if she has that help!

      That is so great your son sees you having a voice and it’s wonderful you are healing with NARP.

      Sending you and yours many continued blessings.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • janette.cupp@comcast.net'
    Janny
    May 16, 2018

    I’m so grateful for all the materials you put out Melanie. They have helped me immensely. I stepped out of my dysfunctional family 2 years ago and began my healing journey. I was so confused when my children turned on me and abandoned me. One is back now and told me all her father said to them about me. He told them I was mentally ill and abused them when they were little. I was so shocked that the man I believed loved and cherished me could ever lie like that. Well those weren’t the only lies. This man is a sex addict and has made my life a living hell. I’m discovering so many lies and manipulation. But I’m now using it to heal. I’m praying one day soon I will be reconnected with my 2 daughters that are still not speaking to me. Thanks again for what you do it is a blessing in my life.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 16, 2018

      Hi Janna,

      You are very welcome and I’m so pleased they help.

      I am so happy you are beginning to heal.

      Sending love, continued healing and blessings for the reuniting for you and your children.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • ariesmidnight63@gmail.com'
    Aries
    May 16, 2018

    I have been blessed with three beautiful daughters who are all adults now. I totally get what you are saying as I was once in this place with the acceptance from my home of strong, independent yet feminine females with my mother & both grandmothers. Having my daughters I believed there was no other way to raise them – making them believe how important they were – doing anything they can even in male dominated industries – finishing their education at an elite girls school where their was a strong focus on their future & their sport instead of only spectating like in my day – good male friends can make for some of the best of mates & you are the highest apple on the tree & the good men will climb this tree etc.
    But as you can understand all my beliefs turned up-side down even though it took many years for me to wear down & I started to have angry rages & yes became the ‘crazy one’. This had come at an age when the girls were leaving home & their father & I had some horrific fights with him telling them he would get me fixed. I was suppose to be the strong decent one but I didn’t have the energy.
    Thankfully the girls have turned out to be the most decent & respectful adults I have met & have husbands who deeply cherish & respect them. They have told me that all this was part of their journey. I, on the other hand, found it hard to accept this part as being my journey for them. This then turned into guilty parenting for a few years after.
    I have devoted to working the modules daily & really enjoy looking forward to them. I have been doing so much better & getting my old self back but I have started to develop a very paranoid feeling lately around the shame & guilt of this back then & won’t let it go & move forward. The biggest one in the last few days is that I am paranoid about loosing them as their father still chooses to make me not look good in a ‘nice’ way while remaining the ‘hurt’ one. I know that is not my problem as I have felt happy & strong within myself most days being there for me which is also good for the girls. I got home this mother’s day after the girls put on a beautiful day for me & felt the overwhelming paranoid feeling again & thought what a shame after a perfect day. Rationally this is ridiculous as they are very capable of thinking for themselves. I think I may have had a delayed reaction to everything after starting Narp, feeling raw & now know the truth that I wasn’t imaging all this & that this thing is real with narcs where your children are concerned. There seems to be a fear there & I know it is still early days & to keep doing what I am doing. In the meantime are there any particular modules & workbooks I could fast track to that deals with this & then go back to continuing where I left off? I don’t want to be impatient with myself, I’m just afraid my paranoid feelings will attract what I fear at the moment! Or I may be having a few off days.
    Many thanks for being there xx
    Aries

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 17, 2018

      Hi Aries,

      How beautiful that you have raised your daughters to be strong empowered women!

      Yes absolutely you can target exactly the trauma you have named with Module 1 or the Goal Setting Module to load it up and completely let it go.

      Aries are you in the NARP Forum where we can help coach you on all your shifts when necessary?

      It really is an invaluable source http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps Dear Lady.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • ariesmidnight63@gmail.com'
        Aries
        May 18, 2018

        Thank you for your help Melanie. I will try the Goal Setting Module as I haven’t used it yet. After writing my long post to you the other day I felt I had cleared my head & was then guided to the Narp forum straight to the articles I was meant to read! As I have only been doing this for four months initially I didn’t even give this a thought. It has been a great help.
        Much love,
        Aries

  • christinerussett175@gmail.com'
    Christine
    May 19, 2018

    Hi Mel, thank you very much for everything you teach us it’s so invaluable we are extremely grateful and appreciative. Does Mother’s Day stretch to stepmothers? as I am a young stepmother (early thirties) who has a much older covert cerebral malignant Narcissist stepdaughter (late forties) and I have never and I don’t receive any Mother’s Day stepmother cards from her she’s probably doing that to honour and respect her mother’s wishes and in allegiance to her mother. Her biological mother is also a covert cerebral malignant Narcissist. My stepdaughter quickly put me through the Idealize, Devalue and Discard phase as I never gave her any Narcissistic Supply, I never paid her any compliments or anything so the Idealize part was very short, the Devalue and Abusive part was very, very long and she discarded me years ago and I know and believe that she will NEVER EVER do the Hoovering Techniques on me. I also believe that if someone gives her plenty of Narcissistic Supply she might put her victim through the Idealize part for a much more longer time and then put them through the Devalue and Discard parts. Her relationships with her biological mother and with all of her blood related members of her family of origin and also with her oldest female best friend are absolutely fantastic her family of origin and her oldest female best friend are all covert cerebral malignant and covert somatic malignant Narcissists and her oldest female best friend’s family of origin are all Narcissists too! Absolutely unbelievable!!! But, they all have absolutely fantastic relationships with each other because they view their families as a extremely special elite, they are elitist families, they are elitist, they compare their families to the british royal family, they want to be just like, to be seen just as special as the british royal family by other people. They view themselves and their families as gods and goddesses they want to be worshipped, glorified, praised and to be given glory, praises, worship, honour, respect and thanks by outsiders, they are seeking after their own glory, they expect outsiders to bow down and worship them, they want outsiders to be obsequious, sycophantic and to genuflect to them. That’s what they do to each other so that’s why their relationships with one another are absolutely fantastic and they “love and care for each other” as they view their own families as special elite forces and they compare their own families to the british royal family that’s why they have fantastic relationships with each other. They give each other unlimited Narcissistic Supply. If an outsider like myself doesn’t give them any Narcissistic Supply then they make the Idealize part extremely short, the Devalue and Abusive part extremely long and then they do the Discard part without doing any Hoovering later on. They have superiority and god/goddesses complexes in their False Selves and inferiority and worthless complexes in their True Selves. They believe that they are a force to be reckoned with. They make themselves look formidable with an indomitable spirit and all almighty and all powerful, superior, as gods and goddesses. They seek their own glory, they seek after their own glory. Absolutely unbelievable!!! I don’t even care about and I’m indifferent about me and my stepdaughter in never to have had, in not having and in never ever having a stepmother and stepdaughter relationship and I’m not bothered about her in to never have Hoovered me, her not Hoovering me and her never ever Hoovering me. I have always, I always do now and I will always not even care about, be indifferent about and towards and not be bothered about me and her never to have had, not having and never having a stepmother and stepdaughter relationship and for her to have never, she doesn’t and she will never Hoover me. I have always, I always do now and I will always be indifferent about and towards it, not even care about it and not be bothered about it.

  • Margarit72@aol.com'
    Jane
    May 19, 2018

    Beautiful message for Mother’s Day, Mel. I enjoyed it !
    Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 19, 2018

      Hi Jane,

      So pleased you enjoyed it sweetheart and I hope you had a beautiful Mother’s Day.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • christinerussett175@gmail.com'
    Christine
    May 19, 2018

    They are not humble, not modest, not self-effacing, not self-deprecating. They don’t want other people laughing at them, they don’t and they can’t even laugh at themselves, if they had senses of humour then they would be to mock, to deride, to tease other people, to be mischievous, to laugh at other people, to laugh with mockery at, to laugh scornfully at and be sadistic towards other people when they are suffering and in pain, to laugh at, be sadistic towards and to be smug, smugly satisfied and to derive pleasure from and about other people’s misfortune. They laugh with mockery at and they laugh scornfully at, be sadistic towards, smug, smugly satisfied, have smug smiles, to derive pleasure from – at other people, at other people when they are suffering and in pain, at other people’s suffering, pain, misfortune, misery, torment, trauma, torture, turmoil, anguish, unhappiness, terror, fears, etc…, but they are intolerant to other people laughing at them at all, they are intolerant to other people making fun of them, they can’t laugh at themselves, they can’t make fun of themselves. They view themselves as exclusive, special families, they all think that they are special someones, someone special, something special and that they should be given exclusive special treatment by outsiders, they think that outsiders should revere, respect, honour them, they think that outsiders should pay homage, respect to them and to worship them. They want to live their lives in their own glory, etc…, my stepdaughter lied when she said that everyone says all the time that she looks like Kate Middleton the Duchess of Cambridge – she’s comparing herself to Kate Middleton. No-one and nobody has ever said that she looks like Kate Middleton. She has also lied when she said that everyone says all the time that her eyes look beautiful. No-one and nobody has ever said that her eyes look beautiful. When I was at her house one day many years ago she lied to me – she waited for her then boyfriend at the time (now he’s her ex-boyfriend) to leave the room first which would be such a great convenience for her otherwise, if he had have stayed in the room then that would be such an inconvenience for her – she is a devious, scheming, calculating, stealthy, sneaky, sly, cunning, crafty, full of machiavellian, manipulative, lying, deceptive, dishonest, opportunistic opportunist who does means, motives and opportunities so we were watching ITV 1 Meridian Tonight News on t.v – 6.00 p.m evening time news which is on for 30 minutes it starts at 6.00 p.m and finishes at 6.30 p.m – Southern U.K and there was a female news reporter reading the news and telling us the news and after he left the room she told me that he had told her that she looks like that female news reporter who we were watching on the news on the t.v at that same time – that’s a lie why didn’t she say that to me right in front of him?! She was preoccupied with thoughts about herself, comparing herself to the woman on t.v and she just came up with that idea right there and then when we were watching that woman on t.v simultaneously at the same time, she just wanted to draw attention to herself and to comparing herself with to that woman, she wanted to imprint the face and the name of that woman and to associate that woman with her and to associate herself with that woman and imprint that memory into my memory, mind, head, brain so she’s thinking to herself “every time Christine sees that woman on t.v she’s going to automatically think of me forever and Christine will always associate her with me and always associate me with her forever and whenever Christine sees that woman on t.v she will automatically remember that she was in my house and that me and her were watching that woman – that female news reporter on t.v that evening on that day and simultaneously at that same time I said to Christine that my ex-boyfriend had told me that I look like that female news reporter who we were watching on t.v and I waited for him to leave the room first before I said that to her – she will never forget she will always remember all of this automatically whenever she sees that woman on t.v because I have imprinted that onto into her mind, head, memory so she will always remember all of that forever”. My stepdaughter has also even compared herself to Victoria Stilwell – dog behaviourist and trainer – she mentioned Victoria Stilwell’s name to me and she talked about Victoria Stilwell to me and I see that she has stolen Victoria Stilwell’s identity, hair style, hair colour, dress and fashion sense and style, wardrobe sense and style and adopted these things as her own, and she has made sure that she has the same figure and the same physique as Victoria Stilwell, her hair colour is darker than Victoria’s, she wears make-up, beauty, hair, body, cosmetic products, perfumes and fragrances which I’m sure Victoria does also and my stepdaughter also wears jewellery too. Victoria drives, owns, maintains her own car and my stepdaughter also drives, owns, maintains her own car too, Victoria drives a small brightly red coloured car and my stepdaughter drove a light red coloured Ford Mondeo car both my stepdaughter’s and Victoria’s cars are different sizes, shapes, makes and models to each other, now, my stepdaughter has a metallic silver coloured estate car – a very long car, Victoria had a chocolate Labrador dog and my stepdaughter had a German Shepherd/Alsatian dog – my stepdaughter’s dog was put to sleep many years ago, my stepdaughter claimed that her dog had Epilepsy, the epileptic seizures were so bad that the dog was taken to the vets to be put to sleep – I met the dog a few times and the dog never had never suffered an epileptic seizure in front of me – my stepdaughter lied about that I don’t think the dog had, suffered from Epilepsy and epileptic seizures the dog looked so physically healthy, in great physical condition, in great physical health. She just wanted to have the dog euthanized, killed because she’s far too immature to have that responsibility of feeding, watering, looking after and taking care of another living being – an animal, a dog or even another person another human being, she got bored of that dog and of having a dog owner’s responsibility and duties. She tells lies about absolutely everything about absolutely everyone and about herself, her families of origin. She is deceitful, deceptive, lying, dishonest. She said that her integrity is intact, that she’s a very, very convincing person, that she has lots and lots of charisma – all of these are lies – her integrity is broken and destroyed, she’s a convincing person only to impressionable, naive, vulnerable, innocent, pure-hearted, shy, coy, empathic, gullible, stupid, foolish people who are stupid, foolish and gullible enough to believe her lies, deceit, deception, dishonesty. She doesn’t have any charisma or charm – what she is though is beguiling, she is very, very beguiling, she is not guileless, she is not without guile. Her and her families of origin and her oldest female best friend and her families of origin are all shameless, brazen, lacks remorse, empathy and is ruthless, relentless and merciless. They all play the victims and they all blame-shift they all blame their victims. They all expect outsiders to do their bidding, they believe that the world owes them a living, they believe that life is like that and that that does happen in life, they are deluded, delusional, that’s what their delusional beliefs, etc…, are and that’s what they deludedly believe. Their expectations and standards of life are far too much, far too high, unrealistic and delusional/deluded. They expect outsiders to exalt them. They want to be exalted by outsiders. They want to feel and to experience exaltation and exultation. I think my stepdaughter may have attempted to try and do Neuro Linguistic Programming – (NLP) on me when it came to that female news reporter on t.v, Victoria Stilwell too I think. They are prideful, they have far too much pride, they are not modest or humble, there is no modesty, humbleness, humility in them. They are self-seeking, self-interested, selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, self-obsessed. They all have senses of entitlement and they are extremely impatient when it comes to waiting for things, they are extremely immature and infantile. My stepdaughter is in competition with me, she views me as competition, she’s fiercely competitive, she has done score-keeping of point-scoring, she has done oneupmanship in conversations with me. She’s an extremely insecure person and she believes that I am perfect, that I am a perfect person. She’s extremely immature and infantile. She and her biological mother and my stepdaughter’s – her oldest female best friend are all pathologically extremely jealous and pathologically extremely envious of me. When there are world events – special events and special occasions going on with really worldwide famous and internationally well-known people and celebrities on the day of the actual special event, special occasion itself she does the NLP on me again because she knows that mine and my husband’s full attention and focus concentration will be on the famous person celebrity and on that world special occasion special event and she despises and detests that our attention and focus is on someone else on other people and on that famous person’s world special event so she desperately wants to turn our attention and focus from that famous celebrity and their world special event back onto her and she does this by her coming up to visit my husband – her father – not visiting me – at mine and my husband’s house – her showing up at our marital home and that her presence at our house on the exact same day of that famous celebrity/s special event, special occasion is doing NLP on me because she thinks that I will associate that famous celebrity/s special event with her, with her coming up to visit my husband at our house and that I will associate her and her coming up to visit my husband at our marital home, her presence with the famous celebrity/s special occasion special event and that that will be imprinted on my memory, mind, head, brain which I will never forget always remember forever and in the near and distant futures when I hear about that famous celebrity/s special occasion special event that had happened in the past it will be a reminder of her, it will remind me of her, of her coming up to mine and my husband’s marital home to visit my husband – her father on the exact same day as that famous celebrity/s special occasion special event had happened, then I get triggered, then memories of her, her biological mother and her oldest female best friend abusing me come flooding back into my mind, I remember, I don’t forget then I get triggered some more, then I feel and experience the symptoms of C-PTSD – Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, then peptides start shooting lots and lots, then I try to find any new information about her, her biological mother and her oldest female best friend that I don’t even know about yet so I turn detective and investigate – on social media, through other people who know them personally, etc…, then peptides are shooting off so much more inside my brain then I come onto Melanie Tonia Evans website and go onto a blog article of her’s that really speaks into and really resonates with, that certain blog that really speaks to my own personal situation that I am experiencing and going through and then I just rant about it in the comments section about my certain personal situation which matches up with Mel’s certain blog article about the exact same topic on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. So in near and distant futures these famous celebrity/s special occasion special event – my memory of it is actually marred, tainted, etc…, because it was the exact same day that my stepdaughter had come up shown up at mine and my husband’s marital home to visit him – not to visit me – so it’s damaged. Like, when the american presidential election voting had finished and Donald Trump’s name was revealed to the world that he would be the next president of the USA on that exact same day my stepdaughter came up to visit my husband – her father at our marital home so my memory of that american presidential election voting finished reveal the name of the next president of the USA Day day has been marred, tainted by her coming up to our marital home to visit her father on that exact same day and just her presence has also tainted my memory of that day. On that day itself, I was like “oh no!!! she’s here!!!” and she ruined, destroyed that day and the rest of that day and that night for me and it took my attention and focus off of the american presidential election voting and off of Donald Trump too and redirected my attention from Donald Trump and from the american presidential election back onto her and back onto her presence, her presence at our marital home, her coming up to our marital home to visit my husband and her coming up to our house to visit my husband on the day that Donald Trump was revealed as the next president of the USA to the world – on that day of all days – why?? she doesn’t want other people or another person a famous celebrity to rent space in my head, in my mind, she wants to be the only person to rent space in my head, in my mind and she doesn’t want to share that space in my mind with another person or with other people in my mind, she wants mine and my husband’s full attention and focus concentration to be on her – not to be on another person, other people – especially if that person or people are a famous celebrity/s. She’s coming to my house which is my territory, my domain, my comfort zone and I have got nowhere to escape to, there is no place for me to escape to, nowhere for me to go to get away from her. We have a front door and she is at our front door but we don’t have a back door, backdoor, we don’t have a back garden. I feel so traumatized, tormented, tortured, in misery, pain, suffering, in agony, in anguish, in turmoil, in unhappiness, despair, hopelessness, helplessness, in terror, terrorized, terrified, in fear, fearful, no peace, no calmness, threatened, intimidated in emotional, mental, psychological, psychiatric ways and trembling and shaking in physical way. It’s Prince Harry’s and Meghan Markle’s royal wedding tomorrow Saturday 19th May 2018 I wonder if my stepdaughter will intentionally and deliberately annihilate that day and the memory of that day for me for the rest of my life for forever, constantly remind me, be constant reminders for me in the near and distant futures of my life forever, do NLP on me with her presence at our house her wanting to visit, see, speak to and spend some time with my husband – but, her not wanting to do any of these things with me on that day tomorrow another one of those days of all days, her trying to manipulate my attention focus concentration from Prince Harry, Meghan Markle and their royal wedding back onto her again with just her very presence. I wonder if she will come up to our house to visit my husband or not tomorrow, or if she and another person, or if she and other people will come up to our house tomorrow or if she sends someone else on her behalf without herself up to our house tomorrow or if she sends other people on her behalf without herself up to our house tomorrow and/or maybe the day after tomorrow – Sunday and/or maybe in a couple of days time, in a few days time, who knows?? Perhaps absolutely nothing will happen, perhaps she will do absolutely nothing. Perhaps she won’t come up to our house on any day at all and perhaps she won’t send anyone else on her behalf without herself to come up to our house on any day at all and perhaps she and someone else won’t come up to our house on any day at all and perhaps she and other people won’t come up to our house on any day at all but, otherwise, if she does then that day and the rest of that day and the night of that day will be annihilated, she will annihilate all of it. The whole of the next day and the next night will be totally and completely ruined, I’ll be thinking, analyzing and ruminating about it along with everything else – all of my memories every day after that for the rest of my life forever. I’m on high alert right now and I’ll be on high alert tomorrow and for the next few days and I’ll be anticipating, etc…, tomorrow and for the next few days if she will come up to our house tomorrow and for the next few days, anticipation, etc…, on high alert, adrenaline will be pumping in my blood in my bloodstream, I’ll go into freeze, flight and fight responses tomorrow and for the next few days. She will now start comparing herself to Meghan Markle and she will say that everyone says all the time that she looks like Meghan Markle – which all of that are lies, lies, lies!!!. I know how my covert cerebral malignant Narcissist stepdaughter and her mind, head, brain operates, ticks and I’m a good judge of character. I made the mistake of not telling her ex-boyfriend that she had told me that he had said to her that she looks like the female news reporter on ITV 1 Meridian Tonight News, Sport and Weather t.v news program on ITV 1 t.v channel – Southern U.K and to not ask him to confirm if it was true or not to see if she was telling the truth or if she was telling lies – I didn’t do that but I should have done that!!! I’m not in contact with him personally directly or even indirectly but he has a website that has his private and personal contact details which is open for the world to see and look at in a public way and he is also on LinkedIn and on Facebook too and he has either a profile picture or cover photo of himself a picture of himself which he has set as either his profile picture or cover photo on his Facebook profile and he has also done the same on his LinkedIn profile too – he has set a picture of himself on his LinkedIn profile’s picture too and he has put his personal and private contact details on his website, his Facebook’s and LinkedIn profiles and he has set them as “public” on his privacy settings so that the public, the world can see, look at. I know what his personal and private contact details are and he lives in Southern U.K I haven’t contacted him and I don’t know if I should or not. I would like to talk about, to discuss his ex-girlfriend – my stepdaughter, her biological mother, my stepdaughter’s oldest female best friend and any members of my stepdaughter’s inner circle, families of origin, friends, family friends, her biological mother’s too and her oldest female best friend’s too, her manager, supervisor, boss, work colleagues, etc…, who he may have personally met personally too. Then I would introduce Melanie Tonia Evans and her website and her blog articles and videos to him and introduce Mel’s Facebook page, the blog articles and videos on her Facebook page to him too and tell him that he can post comments in the comments sections on Mel’s blog articles on her website and also on her Facebook page. That he can subscribe and sign up to her NARP Programme and her Quantum Freedom Healing – (QFH) modules in her QFH programme. That’s what I would do. My stepdaughter, her biological mother, her families of origin, her oldest female best friend and her families of origin want absolutely everyone to admire them, to view them as role models, to look up to them and for absolutely everyone to be inspired by them and for absolutely everyone to view them as inspirations, inspirational. My stepdaughter is extremely impatient when it comes to waiting for things because when she’s out shopping at a store, supermarket, shop, newsagents shop, when she’s at the cashier with her shopping during the time when the cashier would be serving her the cashier is not serving her because the cashier is sorting the till out and she takes it personally and takes it to heart and she believes that the cashier is doing it intentionally and deliberately to delay her, to do delay tactics, to inconvenience her, to do this spiteful thing to her through spite out of spite to spite her and to do it maliciously and to do it out of maliciousness and malice, to be inconsiderate towards her – especially if it’s a female cashier and she believes that the female cashier is doing it because the female cashier is jealous of her and the female cashier is jealous of her because my stepdaughter looks beautiful/because the female cashier thinks that my stepdaughter looks beautiful – my stepdaughter deludedly believes all of this so she jumps to the wrong conclusion which is she believes that the female cashier is jealous of her because she-my stepdaughter looks beautiful. It’s not because the female cashier is jealous of her because she looks beautiful or that the female cashier thinks that she looks beautiful – because the female cashier is not jealous of my stepdaughter or anything about her or of her looks, etc…, at all, the female cashier doesn’t think that my stepdaughter looks beautiful, the female cashier is not jealous of her because the female cashier doesn’t think that my stepdaughter looks beautiful. My stepdaughter doesn’t look beautiful at all. My stepdaughter looks very, very ugly, she is very, very ugly. The female cashier is doing it to regulate and moderate the till otherwise, if the female cashier didn’t do that then the till wouldn’t work and it wouldn’t function, operate properly that’s the only reason why the female cashier does that. My stepdaughter believes that the female cashiers in shops, newsagents shops, stores, supermarkets that has ever done that to her must be jealous of her because she looks beautiful. Not every female cashier in every shop, newsagents shop, store, supermarket has ever done that to her when she is at the cashier with her shopping and during the times when female cashiers have served her. When a female cashier does do this to her she looks so angry, a look of anger and wrath on her face, she has a sense of entitlement where she thinks “just stop doing that right now and just serve me right now” and/or “hurry up and finish doing that and serve me” and she’s extremely impatient when it comes to waiting for things she’s extremely immature and infantile, she wants it right now, right now, right now!!! She wants everything right now, right now, right now!!!. She always wants to get what she wants all the time, she always wants to have/get her own way all the time. Someone needs to teach her, she needs to be taught, she needs to learn on how to wait more patiently and on how to patiently wait and on how to be patient when it comes to waiting for things, for everything.

  • roseannecampagna@aol.com'
    Nayeli
    June 1, 2018

    Thank you for all the work you do to help us become masters of our own life. I want to add that the Goals module was an excellent tool for support in achieving this goal. Blessings and a belated happy mother’s day to you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 1, 2018

      Hi Nayeli,

      You are so welcome. That is wonderful NARP has helped so much.

      Many continued blessings to you too and thank you for you lovely message.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *