Nervous system disorders such as PTSD, anxiety and depression are widespread with narcissistic abuse, relationship addiction and trauma.
They are awful, debilitating and life-threatening. Just as it was for me.
What I realised was that these states were in my life because I hadn’t yet turned inwards to heal the dire self-separation that I was suffering as a result of the trauma I had experienced. I know the same is true for you.
In this video, I’m going to show you an exercise you can use to soothe your symptoms and connect with your Inner Being to find relief from your symptoms.
Video Transcript
The symptoms of narcissistic abuse, relationship addiction and trauma are awful.
These are things like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety and depression, just to name a few.
These things can feel unshakeable.
When trying to recover from narcissistic abuse, or survive an existing narcissist, there may be times when you feel like you are getting better, and then you find yourself sliding back down into that deep black hole again.
I’ve been there.
Thank goodness for a long time I’ve known how to permanently get out of these states. For real. Which means not just trying to manage these conditions every day, but rather that they simply don’t exist anymore.
If this is something that you would like to experience for real, please pause this video and let me know in the comments below by saying, “I want out of this forever!”
Okay, so let’s get into this episode and drill down regarding what is really going on and how you can heal from this.
What Are Our Nervous System Disorders?
Our nervous system disorders, I believe, primarily mean that we don’t feel SAFE.
This means that you don’t feel safe in your body as yourself, and in life, meaning you don’t have confidence or belief in your own capacity to be able to keep yourself safe.
That, fundamentally, is exactly what PTSD is. It is the firing of extreme signals to you that are trying to warn you so that you can be safe because you feel so unsafe.
The problem is that these triggers can be literally anything, by association, that remind your nervous system of the trauma that you’ve experienced, or the abuser who inflicted the trauma upon you.
This is anxiety. This is what panic attacks are all about.
It’s crippling because if you try to go about your normal life, then you are continually experiencing anxiety, or you have to retreat from life to try to completely avoid the triggers, which is not living.
Even worse than this, it means that the trauma that is generating the “I am not safe” feelings is still trapped inside you, eating you alive. This is depression. Those are the self-annihilating feelings of helplessness, powerlessness and hopelessness because you just can’t escape the terrible feelings that are continually consuming you.
Then, naturally, you digress into feelings of worthlessness because you can’t recover.
Again, I really want you to know I have been there.
I had Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) through the roof. During my darkest days, I was completely engulfed in uncontrollable adrenaline surges of panic and psychotic episodes, and I had manic suicidal depression.
That’s how bad my experience ended up as a result of, “I am not safe in life”.
I promise you, with all my heart, that I absolutely do not have any of these symptoms and issues in my life at all anymore. That is despite being told by medical professionals that I would never recover, and I would need to take antipsychotics for the rest of my life in order to function at any capacity.
All of that was not the truth!
I’m no more special than anybody else and no freak of nature, because there are so many people, in this community, who have also emerged from the most horrific cases of PTSD, anxiety and depression, who are also free of all of this.
Many of these people used to feel like I did in the past, “that there was no way out of this”.
But there is … Truly.
Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional
I really want you to know that abuse from your childhood, ancestral acquired DNA, adult experiences and other sources, absolutely brings emotional and mental pain and breakdowns.
Yet, this is not the final story. It is a signal.
This is calling you to delve inside to discover what is really going on within you and to learn that you have the power to free yourself.
I promise you that you becoming your own saviour can be done!
Then there is no more suffering. There is no more trying to survive the wounds that are going on inside of you, whilst trying to make your life go forward, which of course is your natural human coded truth.
When you know how to go inwards, to release your trauma and open up the space for your subconscious and superconscious to start working together healthily, then all of that energy that was tied up in fight and flight (survival) is freed so that you go forward as the human being you were always intended to be.
Free to be yourself and create, regardless of what has happened in your past.
That’s when your life will finally begin.
The One Thing You Can do Right Now to Recover You
I am going to give you the answer to how to recover You, straightaway.
Show up for yourself.
You can do this by turning inwards.
Let me explain exactly what I mean.
Close your eyes for a moment and come with me on this little journey that we are about to share together.
I want you to imagine that you have a young child with you who you adore. Maybe this child is your son or daughter. This child is upset and frightened and crying. He or she is shaking and feeling terrified.
Because you haven’t realised how much this child needs you, he or she is now screaming for you.
Imagine if you turned to this child and said, “Shut up. What is wrong with you? I am going to ignore you and to drown out your screams, I am going to jump on Facebook, watch Netflix, eat more cake, drink alcohol, smoke a cigarette or run into the arms of somebody who is hurting me and try to get them to love me.”
How would this child feel? How would this child respond?
How safe would this child feel when his or her guardian has completely abandoned them?
Now, translate all of this to you and yourself.
Your Inner Being is feeling drastically unsafe, and you are presently, possibly just as I used to do, self-avoiding and self-abandoning and attempting to self-medicate the screams away.
Yet, your Inner Being, just like a small child, needs You. In fact, you are the only person who your Inner Being is screaming for.
Not the false substitutes. Not false sources such as narcissists. And certainly not the distractions and addictions that you have been using to try to numb out your inner screams.
This I promise you with all my heart, that when you turn inwards with the dedication and devotion to be there for your Inner Being, unconditionally with love, just as you would for a small child who you adore, relief will come very quickly.
Your Inner Being will heave a sigh of relief and say to you, “finally you are here”.
Then you will awaken to realise that the state of you has always been determined by the state of your relationship with your Inner Being.
Your life is always about how self-partnered you are or aren’t. This is the foundation of all of it.
If you are not integrated with your Inner Being, you are disintegrating.
If you are not evolving yourself regarding the consciousness to self-partner and become whole, then you are dissolving.
In a nutshell, your separation from yourself is exactly what the state of PTSD, anxiety and depression are all about.
Just as it was for me.
And what I deeply realised was that these states were in my life because I hadn’t yet turned inwards to heal this dire self-separation that I was suffering as a result of the trauma I had experienced. I know the same is true for you.
Thank goodness the great news is, there is a powerful way to self-partner and heal, which is not about decades and decades of trying to re-parent yourself back to health. That is the old paradigm. There is a much newer and better way.
Let’s explore this together.
Self-Partnering the Right Way
Okay, I want to set an intention and do a little Quantum Shift with you.
To come along with me, make sure that you won’t be disturbed, and can be as relaxed and present as possible as we do this together.
Okay, take a few deep breaths and roll your shoulders back and breathe, take another couple of deep breaths. Now I want you to scrunch up all of the energy in your body and hold it really tight … and let go. Take another couple of deep breaths. Now again scrunch up all the energy in your body really, really tight and now let go. Take two more deep breaths.
Now I just want you to be breathing with your body open, and repeat this mantra after me:
“Inner Being, I am here for you. I am so sorry that I haven’t been listening to your screams for me. I validate you, sweetheart. I know that you feel unsafe. I know that for you and I to be healthy, I need to be there for you and hold you and help you heal. Maybe I’m just learning how to do this. Maybe I’m not always going to get it right. Yet now I firmly understand that I can’t blame and shame you and ignore you back to health. I need to show up and be there for you. I promise you my darling Inner Being, with all of my heart, that I am going to love you back to wholeness, with all that I am, and I’m never leaving you again.”
Now, with that intention in your heart, and knowing that you don’t need to get this perfectly right and that nobody is judging you and your Inner Being is not judging you, you can stop separating from yourself, and start turning inwards and come home.
Okay now let’s do this little Quantum Shift together.
I want you to imagine that standing a little way from you is your Inner Being.
I just want you to observe this person with love in your heart. He or she may be dishevelled, crying, and distraught or may even be wearing dirty clothes. He or she may appear as a child or even as a past life self.
Don’t censor what you receive, just observe what you see or feel with an open heart and mind.
And, regardless of the state of your Inner Being, don’t be repulsed, don’t turn away. Be super present with love.
Now, pour love from your heart towards your Inner Being.
As you do so, you see that a Higher Being or Higher Beings, of your choice, are surrounding your Inner Being.
These beings are pouring light into your Inner Being and holding and supporting him or her.
Now, approach your Inner Being, and reach out and hug him or her.
Simultaneously you are pouring love from your heart into your Inner Being, and the Higher Beings are pouring Divine Light into your Inner Being as well.
No words are necessary, just see your Inner Being filling with this Light.
Now I want you to imagine as you cuddle your Inner Being, that the Divine Light from the Higher Beings is entering and filling you as well.
And you see that the darkness and trauma is being flushed out of you by this light. This is happening with your Inner Being as well. And you see that as the darkness and shadows are released, that they are all dissolving back to love for recycling.
Now I want you to imagine bringing your Inner Being inside of you, and then the Higher Beings reach inside you, and they are switching on your genes. This ignites the Light of Consciousness and Source to flow through you as you, and you fill with so much Light that your outline disappears and you literally burst into a ball of Light.
Now, I want you to just breathe and be the Light.
With no thought, just breathe.
And I want you to say after me, “I am the Light. The Light I am. It just is. It’s all that is.”
And breathe …
Okay, and slowly come back to the room. Be aware of your body, and the chair that you’re sitting on … and come back.
Let’s allow that to integrate a little …
Now, feel into your Inner Being. How does that part of you who was feeling dreadfully unsafe, feel now?
If you like, pause this video and share your comment below.
Taking Your Self-Partnering Further
What you just experienced is a short adaptation of Quanta Freedom Healing. Quanta Freedom Healing is a process that bypasses your mind and takes you to a deep inner somatic experience to activate your healing for real.
You had a little taste of this with what we just did together.
I would love to take you further so that you can experience how to get true relief, release and core healing from PTSD, anxiety and depression, as well as any attachments and connections to abusers in your life.
Because, as I said before, your True Life will begin when you do that. And it can happen very quickly.
So, come on this journey with me in my Free 16 Day Recovery Course.
In this special event, you will understand exactly how and why Quanta Freedom Healing™ activates true healing that our limited logical mind just can’t produce.
Please remember you will receive a recording you can participate in at any time that works for you.
It’s been my absolute joy to share self-partnering with you today, and I so hope that it has helped.
And as always, I am looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.
I want out of this forever. I have been a substance abuse counselor, but I cannot seem to help myself with tools that I know!!! But I am concerned. I am a Christian and some of the comments about reincarnation and self awareness is troubling to a person who believes in Jesus as my savior. But in all honestly I have not been able to pray or read the Bible now or even when I was with her. She is an atheist. I could not be myself
This exercise brought me to my inner child. I pictured her. I felt like holding her so tight, and feel I have her with me now. I will not allow her to hurt again. I feel a sense of peace, I want to heal knowing I’m healing her too. Thank you for this exercise. I’m a work in progress but this resonates with me.
Hi Roger,
I would really love you to explore the Quantum Healing that so many people, including many Christians, have accessed in this community for incredible relief and healing.
It truly is nondenominational, loving and open for all. Roger you are still allowed to retain whatever beliefs are important to you, absolutely.
My free masterclass http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass explains
Sending you love, breakthrough and healing
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever.
Hi Roger,
As a devout Christian myself, I understand exactly what you’re saying.
Narcissistic abuse is an opportunity to discover more about God, His universal LOVE, as well as the Truth about yourself and everyone else.
It is a DIVINE appointment. “All things (still) work together for good to them who live God and are called ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE.”
Canonical scripture has left out entire bodies of writing which presented a broader interpretation of Jesus’ teachings and sayings. But the Truth can not be buried forever and these bodies of writings keep emerging with translations that put traditional interpretations on the defense. These books show convulsively that there were many Christianities from the beginning which had varied and even conflicting understandings and applications of Jesus’ words. Some refer to reincarnation even in John’s gospel.
Modern biblical scholarship tells us that there were deep mystical roots to the sayings and word choices that Jesus used and the original Gospel writers would have been familiar with but later Bible translators tripped over.
Melanie is the ONLY person in the world who is writing and healing successfully those of us who have been involved with Narcissists. Her works prove her source is good.
Until four years ago, I didn’t even know what Narcissistic Abuse was. Until four years ago, I led a blissfully successful and insanely happy, blessed life with my adored God.
Then I met a Narcissist. The spell lasted a short 14 months thank God. The recovery took another eight months. Without Melanie’s help, I would not have gotten whole so quickly, so completely, and so thoroughly. Even with a visitation directly from Jesus!! We still have to do the work of learning to love ourselves!! This is what recovery is truly about.
God sent me Melanie to explain why narcissism has no merely logical, nor psychological, nor sociological, nor physiological nor spiritual explanation. It is diabolical in the sense of Job’s trial.
Narcissistic abuse recovery will involve healing on a cosmic level. That is the Quantum Field.
Quantum wholeness alone IS SALVATION. SALVATION that includes everyone.
Jesus restores us to WHAT WE REALLY ARE IN ETERNAL TRUTH. But we don’t really know what that is, until we die to our false selves in order to receive real life.
The Narcissists bring us to a death of our false selves.
Jesus said “In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer I have overcome the world (COSMOS).”
To recover from the narcissistic abuse experience, you will have to join Jesus in overcoming the COSMOS. This is not just a simple healing or fixing of a human situation. This is nothing short of cosmic healing.
NARP is a tool for connecting to our God-created Self –which is eternal. From this place, we can release the current temporal life identity and begin to live and breathe and have our entire human Being in Eternal Spirit while still on Earth.
It is a major shift.
It is an absolutely necessary shift that the whole world desperately needs now.
The narcissistic abuse was not the worst thing that ever happened to you. It can be the best thing that ever happened to you. Like the cross of Christ, it is an opportunity for a resurrection to newness of life.
You’ll find that God NEVER FAILS. And that greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. That “He” is you.
Whenever God does a new thing on Earth, it is always for the good of all mankind. Your Quantum healing will affect everyone in the Field. Your healing is mandatory and it is God’s expressed will that you come to a saving knowledge of Him .
If none of this makes sense, just do it anyway.
Get delivered first using NARP and the Revelation will come to you.
We can not fight this evil in our own strength. God gave us Melanie with a tool to learn to love ourselves. Perfect love casts out fear and makes us whole.
I want out of this forever.
I want out of this forever
Thank you for sharing this method for healing 🙏
Hey Roger
I understand completely how your feeling. For starters the narcissistic takes away your identity, that includes your spiritual identity. Anything that is you or important to you is going or gone till there is nothing left but an empty person too scared and traumatised to move. Listen to Mel’s podcast on the vampire myth, it will explain everything.
Why is loving yourself going against the bible or Jesus and why is self awareness going against the bible or Jesus, it’s not. Count how many times it says in the bible to love yourself, there is in actual fact a whole heap in there about taking of yourself and how to take care and protect yourself right.
Understanding that there are traumas inside you that need to be healed is loving yourself and taking care of yourself, just the same as you have spent your life helping your neighbour heal themselves the best way you could.
When you see your superior self looking after your wounded self why not ask Jesus at that point to help you look after and heal your inner wounded self, it would be a perfect time to not only help yourself but invite him back into your life.
Just some thoughts for you to throw around in your mind. I hope you can find the healing your looking for because where you are and where I am is a really nasty and dark place to be.
Hi Rodger, as a fellow Believer i understand your concerns, you can simply Glean from Narp what feels comfortable to you, and obviously for us, our Higher Being is Jesus and it is The Holy Spirit who is our Light, but having been in 3 abusive Nark relationships, the last being with one who appeared to be a loving caring Christian lady who i met at Church, who was part of the Worship team but turned out to be cheating with multiple partners, and threw me out of her house when i kindly challenged her about one of her long standing adulterous affairs, i can safely say that the Narp program is safe and effective and very quick, plus you have the whole team and those of us on the forum to support you on your journey,Blessings Col
Hello Roger : )
I’m a Christian and a member of Narp. As Mel said, the program is non-denominational so there’s no conflict. Members are from all backgrounds. When you use the shifting, it is you that interprets what Source is; God/Soul/Intuition/knowing, etc. Regards, Kathy : )
Hi roger
yes I have struggled with this too .I am been a Christian most of my life. Melanie tells us to listen to our gut feeling and my gut is telling me this might not be ok.I think with jesus we long for him to be physically here .melanie stepped into the space for me when I desperately needed. I took my focus off the narc and onto her and I havnt looked back .she is definitely addictive .
I believe God is healing us through melanie and I have received soo much healing in the 8 mths I have been doing narp .I had a big breakthrough in March that has changed my life forever. I havnt mentioned her to my pastor in case he tells me to stop lol ..but I did a church course and they discussed healings .they said that God heals in his own time sometimes he wants us to suffer for longer to help us to grow .we cant force a healing .so when I do one of Melanie’s healings i ask God to heal me if it’s his will .i believe having melanie in my life has definitely strengthened my faith and given me a new understanding of it ..
I believe God brought her into my life and it is my time to heal now
Hope this helps .its been very interesting reading all the comments and as always love love meals vid
Hope this helps
6 years ago I Rekindled a friendship with a former High School mate. He told me he was getting a divorce from his wife unfortunately that took two years Of our five years together. We moved to another state and began a business. He created chaos, verbal abuse and became threatening all the while destroying my reputation behind my back and to my face saying he loved me. He cheated on me, closed our thriving business and left me in a financial ruin. Taking no accountability. I ignored the signs and blamed it on his diabetes and the things going on in his life at that time. It’s been 10 months and I find myself still hurting, crying and blaming myself. He is my soulmate and because of his narcissistic ways, I lost him forever. I am thankful for my faith, it is comforting and with the help of Melanie I am hopeful she can help me to heal and feel valued again.
For a Christian, I find that replacing “reincarnation” with “reinventing” or even being “born again” (not the same as salvation, but as a new person after abuse) works well. The self awareness explorations are simply getting in touch with and knowing who you really are. The light/lights/etc. are simply your spirit communing with the Holy Spirit. This would be where the blog speaks of breathing deeply and letting go. There is indeed a line not to cross, but how you set your heart and mind makes all the difference.
I feel the same way about the occult type exercises. But know that others are praying when you can’t. I’m right there with you. Detaching from a man with a personality disorder…. very probably narcissistic. He does tick all the boxes. Eight weeks out with a Christian counselor I’m doing much better. Prayers for you to do as well.
Roger you just described me. My narcissist doesn’t think he is a sinner in need of a savior. His abuse is so subtle but so harmful to me. I too am a Christian and don’t believe in all of the reincarnation rhetoric, nor do I believe I am my savior. This site however has helped me so much. I’m suffering from PTSD and depression right now. I honestly questioned myself today if I was the narcissist! But just knowing that this is real and that I’m not making it up in my head gives me a feeling of hope! I pray God helps you in your deliverance from your abuse.
I want out of this forever.
I want out of this forever
I’m back forth know I say many times who does this ..48 with our 5 yr old thrown our during pandemic while he floats hes happy n with next..cant get assistance bouncing from family to family crazy how much u second guess what u should’ve done yrs ago..but under this with all together home support n have no home feel beyond isolated n beyond discarded n beyond used..praying for miracles..wrong time to find me n fight for me was called names told I smell told me cant even get up for me cu, I’m nasty worked together quit job for him now I’m left with nothing n pandemic n omg worries as he sits in my home my furniture my life n throws my clothes in trash moves in the next n I’m left wondering wtf..
I want this to end and will be practicing this I hope this is a replay.
Hi Jill,
I’m so pleased that this helped.
Absolutely you can repeat this at any time that you wish.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank You so much Melanie..This is right on target for me and the meditation is so healing. ❤️
Awwww Sarina,
it’s my pleasure.
I’m glad you received soothing and healing from it.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Just such perfect timing as always Mel. I had a dream last night as I often do during transition periods in my life and for some reason it always involved the ocean.
Last night I dreamt I was jumping off a cliff, I had done it before. On previous occasions the tide was out and I always had a nice soft landing in the sand. This time however, the tide was in, I had my pillow with me.. I was going to jump, there was no doubt but I had fears I would be washed out to sea by the rip with only my pillow to hang onto.
I woke up feeling like I was a failure in life, all the traumatic situations I had put myself into. I truly want to thrive and want to move into my higher life purpose not that I know what that is yet. I ruminated that some parts of me are still numb. Its like I’ve given up somewhere and nowhere in life is safe for me.
I havent yet finished the video and I will take this feelings into the modules. Listening though to the first 10minutes of the vlog I could totally relate to every word… a little glimmer of hope of not having these feelings cloud my life.
Thankyou Melanie and grateful as always xx
Hi Robyne darling,
so pleased that this was timely for you.
Hun, you are right at the edge of a major breakthrough.
I just know it!
Much love to you sweetheart
Mel 🙏💕💚
I have such a hard time connecting to my inner child – it’s like she’s blocked some now. What happens then??
Hi Joely,
This can absolutely happen. I’d love you to come into my upcoming Free masterclass http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freemasterclass which will explain to you in much deeper detail, what is going on, and also the ways that you can break through, rectify this and heal.
I hope that this helps.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
That was incredibly amazing. I felt such a peace I will be on the webinar on the 29th of April I can’t wait.😀❤️
Hi Luisa,
I’m so thrilled that deeply resonated with you.
I look forward to seeing you in the Masterclass!
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever!
I want out of this forever!
“I want out of this forever!”
I want out of this forever..
I’ve done the NARP modules and have connecting to many wounded inner selves. Usually they are much younger. This time I connected to a early adult being. I discovered that she and I have been bonded over getting justice from a particular family member. And they we have been holding this need for this person’s understanding and approval for 25 years!! So good to see the futility in that and It felt so good to hug her and love her and we decided to let that go and be healed. Thank you Melanie!!! I am always surprised as to what wounded part of me will arise and open to healing with me. Your work is amazing. I can’t thank you enough.
Hi Amy,
that’s beautiful that you were able to love, hug and free this part of yourself.
Please know how welcome you are, and you are doing such a wonderful job Amy!
Many continued breakthroughs and blessings to you
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you, this healing exercise came for me just at the right time. I want out of this forever. Self compassion has helped but this goes deeper and is what I need. I said the Divine Light prayer today and asked for help and there it was.
Hi Peggy,
it’s my pleasure.
I love that this touched your soul and was synchronistic for you.
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forver
I want out of this forever. Please help me
Hi Jane,
That is so great that you want to heal.
Please come into my free masterclass which is coming up very soon http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass which will explain to you in deep detail what has happened regarding internal trauma and how it is possible to real for real from it. I know that this event will help you to get answers, clarity relief and hope.
Much love and a big cyber hug to you.
Mel 🙏💕💚
The feeling is indescribable. 🙂 Thank You Mel.
Hi KC,
it’s my pleasure. I’m so pleased it felt like this!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you so much for your help through this. My husband, who is the narcissist in my life, is living somewhere else for work, and we are separated. I am having problems with letting him go for good. We have been married for 37 years, and I have tried so hard for it to work. I keep sending him texts to try and keep him from leaving permanently, but he won’t respond. The only time he texts or emails me is for bills. One month ago he physically abused me when I tried to stop him from leaving, and this is what led to our separation. I’m feeling very depressed because normally by now we would have made up and our family wouldn’t be breaking apart. Any help with this would be great. Again thank you so much for your support
Hi Rachae,
it’s my pleasure.
Rachae, abuse is never okay, not for you or as an example for your family. I know it can be very difficult to try to get out of these cycles and want to keep patching it up, but truly there comes a time with abusers that things just keep getting worse and not better. The soul message in this is to turn inside and start loving and looking after yourself
Rachae, the best way that I can help you is by inviting you to my free 16 Day course, which can start unravelling for you the truth, and what you can do to regain your clarity, life and soul in this.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
Hope that this can help.
Sending you love, strength and healing at this time
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie this was amazing, thank you from my heart!!!
Hi Susanne,
You are very welcome and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed this.
From my heart to yours
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever.
I want out of this forever! Thank you SO MUCH, Melanie! <3 🙂
It’s my pleasure Ariana,
love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you, Melanie. This has really helped.
Hi Kevin,
I’m so pleased.
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Kevin,
I’m so pleased!
Blessings and love
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever
I want out of this forever
I want out of this forever!
Hi Melanie, God Bless you. You have such a Beautiful Soul.
I was in a abusive realationship for 22 years, emotional abuse more, ive been in realationships after that if u can call them that, they where narcisstic too. I would like to break this cycle once and for all, and start to do the work withen . Ive been doing your excercises which are helping me. Sometimes i feel unsafe and not sure of myself. I know iam a empath, i give far to much of myself to other folk and expecting in return , repect back. I cant beleave how cruel some folk are at times, but i do know they are damaged souls too, but i know now its not my place to try and fix them, when i need to fix myself . Thank you so much for helping us all , you do amazing work x
Hi Gail,
thank you for your beautiful words.
Are you working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ?
It helps you bypass the mind and get directly into your Inner Being to release the trauma and get relief and your soul and life back.
If you are already a Gold NARP Member please know that you can reach out for support with your healing journey in the NARP Member’s Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member You truly don’t need to heal alone.
I hope that this can help.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever Mel.
So pleased you know the slipping back into the pit of dispair/terror.
I want out of this cycle forever.
Hi ENPB,
I really do…
Please know you can be.
So much love
Mel 🙏💕💚
I felt so lovable towards my inner being after
meditating with you Melanie today.
Divine love
Divine compassion
Divine joy
I have been narc free for 8 months.
No contact.
Our fake relationship lasted 5 years.
After the discard I was sick for a long time.
Yoga,meditation and listening to you have helped
me come home.
Quoting you,
Keep smiling
Keep thriving
Keep surviving
I am not 100% healed but I am on the
right path.
Thank you so much Melanie
Best regards
Ingrid from Sweden
Hi Ingrid,
Awww that is beautiful.
Please know how welcome you are.
Love and blessings to you Dear Lady.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dearest Mel,
I’m doing as you say & just registering here that I want out of this post narcisstic / bpd relationship nervous system disorder for Ever ! Thankyou . I already have the NARP prog so there has been clearing & healing but it seems there’s always more to do – like internal housework .. NARP is brilliant but I still pick up your blogs as well which are always timely. , jane ❤️
Hi Jane,
Bless and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Loved this, Mel! Mini-shift and self-partnering all in one. Lots of love, Kathy
That’s great Kathy!
Lots of love to you too sweetheart
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dear Melanie,
thank you for this episode. I am so grateful, I can not express it in words. Thank you for your work and everything you put out in the world. It helps! It works!
Love
Bee
Hi Bee,
you are very welcome.
I’m so pleased this deeply resonated.
Love and blessings
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever. I really really do!!!!!!
I want out of this forever…it pains so much…
I want out of this forever. Almost a year since I left the Narcissist but I still play out the 4 year relationship everyday in my head. How did I miss all the signs and why did I give away my self?
Hi Cory,
please know that this is so normal, it can be so difficult to get free of these thoughts.
Cory, I would love you to come into my Free Masterclass http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass to learn about why this has happened, why you are still struggling, as well as how you can get relief and truly purge these thoughts and feelings.
I hope that this can help.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever. I am grateful to have read your book and participate on line when I can with you Tonia, Thank You So Much. I am working on my inner being and am Happy to tell you again . Thank You
Hi Frances,
that is so wonderful and you are very welcome.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this for ever!!!
I hope this sharing is a positive one for others, theirs have been for me. During this meditative process given by Melanie, I saw that I have become and have been my own narcissistic abuser for my own inner being/inner child, avowedly non- and anti-empathic toward it. Sportingly split away from it, as an accomplished NA could be with its mark. In fact, this presence almost seems to be a kind of experiential template, and perhaps even a beacon as well, for more recent relationships with external NAs. My “egoically” selfish indulgences, I see, I tailored to be specifically and targetedly oppressive for my own inner being, while being simultaneously tailored by me to be delusionally pleasurable for my externally identified beingness. I also had plenty of both insistent and passive modeling and guidance for this, especially on both feeling and physicalized levels. And the emotional energy source for this was my own anger over my own frustrations at my inability to not be traumatized, and the anger toward those who were involved while growing up. Sad, yes. Furthermore, I turned my anger, being outwardly inexpressible for its own desperate reasons, toward the part of myself that felt the most. In these ways I have garnered some substitute power and pleasure for myself. This is the point I was ready to got to today, toward the end of this excellently led process. My experience of it connects with the elegant statement by you, Melanie, (and this is only a rough paraphrase, as I’m not finding it in the text) that all our suffrage is a measure of our own limits in self-partnering. Since the moment I saw/felt the action of this self-designed, dysfunctional distortion of my very own self-partnering itself, an old ever-new awareness came up again, admonishingly nudging me to see that its healing is more important to me than my easy, petulant forgetting of it.
Hi Michman,
That truly is the crux of it that the disconnection from our self is the seat of the painful and traumatised emotions.
Absolutely, trauma ignored does not disappear.
Trauma embraced and transmuted with love does.
Much love and healing to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
HI Melanie,
I found by following the visualising of my inner person to be quite an emotional venture. I can see that my method of moving on past my experience has ignored acknowledging the hurt woman inside. The hurt has been caused primarily by grief loosing a beloved father, which I identified as my trigger. This however revealed to me that I haven’t fully processed the grief. The timing as such was when the Narcissist entered my life. From that point onward it has taken so much energy and attention away I have neglected myself. For the rest of the day I have felt quite drained to be honest. Is this normal? I want to listen in to your programme tomorrow hoping it will enlighten me as how to truly get my life back, my energy back and to give myself clearly the nurturing I haven’t been doing. Thanks again.
Hi Christine,
I think that we can all have different visceral experiences to self partnering. That’s a great question that you asked. The other question really is, “what is “normal””?
Sometimes there will be warm relief. Sometimes there will be a show of more traumas that require attention. Sometimes we may feel exhausted because of letting go and integrating something that we were using a great deal of energy to sustain as a trauma while still operating, and now our body says “thank God now that I’ve let this go I can now collapse and rest!”
What is common, is that any or all of these experiences may be experienced!
I really think the important thing is to stay on the course and be committed to self. Then even in the ebbs, flows, breakdown of the old emotional orders and breakthroughs into the new ones, the upward trajectory is one of health, evolution and much greater positivity and love.
I hope that this helps answer your question
Much love to you and it’s wonderful that you are now on this path.
Absolutely, in the Free masterclass tomorrow http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass You will learn all about how to self partner and get your life and soul back.
Bless you!
Mel 🙏💕💚
I love it. Thank you! I feel safe and great! It was a Divine Timing for me!
Hi Agnieska,
I’m so pleased that this was healing for you.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
OMG Melanie this was so powerful!
I literally and physically felt when I hugged my inner self that the missing part was finally coming home and how much and how long we had been missing each other. Almost like you thought you’d lost a family member, you don’t know where they are or if you’ll ever see them again and you find them alive and well by miracle. I don’t feel emptiness and separation anymore, I feel whole like never before. I had all the intent and understanding ready in place but it hadn’t come together and I felt somewhat stuck. I so needed this thank you so so much. I am buzzing from head to toe right now.
Boy! Something told me you meant business from the first few words on this video and I’d better get on board. So glad I did, thank you. Much love
Hi Angelique,
that’s beautiful!
You so deserve that shift.
Sending continued love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you, Melanie for this and all of your other emails that have helped get me through this crazy rollercoaster of a relationship.
I think for years I’ve been trying to figure out if my ex really is a full blown narcissist. Unfortunately, I found out he was a well hidden drug addict. And in turn, he blames all of his poor/bad behavior on drugs and relapses. I left him when I finally found drugs in our home – but for 3 years, he’s been hooking me back in off and on – believing and sympathizing with his debilitating drug addiction. While in our relationship, before I found out, he cheated on me, gaslit next so hard I didn’t know up from down, stole and destroyed some of my precious belongings, lied, lied and lied, and was even stealing our neighbors mail for financial gain. It was a nightmare. After I left, I found out about a lot of this. I kept thinking, how could someone be so bad? It must be the the drugs!
But truly, since I’ve been away from him – he’s found me through every way possible. New phone numbers, new email accounts, new social media accounts. He wouldn’t stop. In the past three years since he’s been sober off and on, he’s gaslit me more, lived life selfishly, disregarded my boundaries, given me the silent treatment half of the time, and ultimately in the end, has blamed everything on me. And while I see this blame is absolutely ridiculous, it definitely has affected me.
I’ve realized I’ve always been just an object to him. I realized I so badly wanted to believe his lies that it was the drugs that made him do terrible things. I may never know what’s really wrong with him, but I’ve officially ended things with him and I’m left with so many questions, so much heartbreak from his lack of remorse or conscience and emotional triggers that need to be diffused. Therapy has helped, but doesn’t seem to get to the core of these subconscious emotional traumas.
I wanted to thank you for your emails, as they help with healing from an abusive relationship.
I probably should invest in your NARP program – I’m just weary with the cost during these uncertain times.
Hi Khanna,
You are very welcome.
It certainly is one thing to get clear, but it’s another to be able to get free of the trauma from what happened.
My heart goes out to you and please know that the generative benefits of NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp , as well as emotionally and mentally are so far-reaching financially as well. Because when you get well, everything can start to work abundantly.
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie, I want out of this forever. I have been with a textbook altruistic N for 24 years. I raised his 2 girls(from 2 moms) along with our son and tried to keep the peace in our home for that long. I caught him in an affair, which he basically blamed on me, and we are going through a divorce. He continues to control, hoover and I am in the throws of going back and forth between having obsessive thoughts about what he is doing or why he isn’t texting or calling, to being terrified when I see that he does text or call or try to see me. I AM SO SICK OF THIS CYCLE and I have to figure out how to get out of this alive, both spiritually and physically. I have lost 20 pounds and I am so depressed. He has put the brakes on the divorce so now I am in limbo until yet another mediation date can be set. This has been going on since last November. I have been getting your emails and was in on the webinar, but didn’t feel like I could afford to join so I’ve been going over the emails and articles and You Tube videos, even recommending you to a friend recovering still after being divorced from an N for 10 years. I want to make this happen somehow because nothing else has worked. I will figure some way to do it. Thank you for what you do, Melanie!
Hi Kelly,
that’s awesome that you do!
I’m so pleased that my work can help, and I wish you blessings and breakthroughs and true freedom.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I had a great visualization this time with my inner child filled with light and very happy this time to come inside and grasp arms and then my grandma shining down on us from above. Gave me a slight headache in left side of brain but it dissipated.
Hi Laura,
that’s great! Blessings to your inner child and your grandma!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I feel as though my inner being/child is still afraid of me. I have a great deal of unresolved anger/rage.
Good Morning Melanie,
I feel lighter and more free. I cried during this mediation, because I’ve never done anything like this before. Thank you for doing this for me and all of the others that need this interaction.
Hi Debbie,
lovely to hear from you!
I am so thrilled that you had that experience with the meditation!
You are very welcome and sending you much love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Excellent Thriver Episode! So soothing and spot on!
Hi Neta,
That’s beautiful that you found this soothing.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie,
Thank you for all the work you do. It was so difficult to visualize my inner being, as I self-abandoned as a young child. I learned in my family of origin that no one was going to take care of me, so I thought myself repulsive and unlovable. I was only as good as how I was serving them. Not only did I feel unworthy of self-love, I even felt hostility and deep hatred towards my inner being. How sad that of all the abusers in my life, I was actually the worst.
During this exercise I initially felt disgust and shame at visualizing my inner being. I had to work through it a few times to see myself on both sides, the hurt child and the self-partnering adult. Loving caretaking is not something I know or understand, so this was mind-blowing. If anyone else relates, I had to think of my inner being as a cute baby animal instead of a human, just to get the energy going. I’m now coming around to seeing how I left this little girl behind at maybe the age of 5 or 6, and all the guilt, sadness, regret and anger that comes with that. However, it’s never too late to make amends, and it felt amazing to reconnect. I think we’ll quickly make up for lost time!
Thank you!
Hi Chris,
I love that you found your way to reconnect to your inner child.
Sending you love, breakthrough and healing.
Many blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I just listened the video and read the transcript toady. I missed the Quanta Freedom Healing free masterclass last week and I could really use it. How can I access the recording? Is there a transcript I can also have?
Hi Isabelle,
please email one of my lovely support staff at [email protected] and they will be able to make sure that you receive the recording. I am sorry but there is not a transcript available with this, at this time.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this for ever
I do this exercise and see my inner child and can really get the benefits.
Sometimes I see myself and I hate what I see and have a lot of anger and contempt.
How can I manage this please 🙏
Hi Nunca,
this is so common when there is a lot of internal trauma that you have taken on.
I used to absolutely struggle with the same.
Please Nunca, I would love you to come into one of my free workshops http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar where I can explain to you why this is going on, as well as how to heal for real.
I hope that this can help and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever! I’m exactly at the point where I feel moments of hope and then go back again after a trigger – mail from the ex or after seeing him by accident. I’m doing the extremely modified contact because of our two children since the beginning of 2020. We separated in January 2019 and the divorce was final that same year in September. He is now suing me acusing for alienation and he wants the kids to live with him…after they have lived with me for more than a year and a half…I’m tired of feeling afraid. Tired of feeling sick when hearing his name/ voice…tired of this never ending war. All he wants is to hurt me through the children.
I’ve done some online courses and also worked with a therapist for a while (couldn’t afford it anymore) and I do feel much better than last year ..just that this final breakthrough doesn’t seem to ever come…nor Mr. right. I feel scared I will choose wrong again and just love the peace I have finally found since he left. But I’m 39 years old, it wouldn’t be nice to be alone forever…your words touch me deeply every time I listen to you, Melanie. Thank you for the amazing work you are doing💗I’m also reading your book now.
Hi Sasha,
please know that you are very welcome.
That’s wonderful that you are reading my book.
Sending you wonderful healing and many blessings.
Mel 🙏💕💚
My inner being has been beaten so many times that I never realized how badly hurt it has been. She is in so much pain from the time of childhood & I have just been covering the wounds not understanding that I needed to hold myself & care for myself, I was never shown how to do that. At the age of 56 I am now seeing the results of life time trauma.
Melanie.
I want out of this forever.
I want out of this forevee
I want OUT of this forever(!)
I just watch part of this PTSD video after working through about 8 or 9 (I don’t know) NARP modules. I had just been triggered by my 32 yo son but I was able to NOT fall entirely into the trap he had set for me (because of the new empowering tools NARP has given me); I just sort of stumbled for a moment around the familiar trap & was able to happily regain my balance. I am so GRATEFUL. I will now go back & continue watching the PTSD video. You truly understand this insanity, Melanie; thank you SO so much for all of your work, resources & support!!!
You are very welcome Laurel,
keep doing your wonderful job of healing!
Sending you much love and continued breakthroughs
Mel 🙏💕💚
I want out of this forever. I am not a narcissist!! I am recently divorced from my narcissistic husband. He threatened divorce several times but never followed through til August. It was final in October. I couldn’t afford an attorney and had no clue how to navigate through the divorce proceedings which he knew. He had a new supply already and for quite some time. Now I’m struggling to get over the fact everything about us was based on lies. Losing him is not what hurts me it’s that I waited a lifetime to get married and believed God brought him to my life and now I know I was just something to pass his time and that breaks my heart. I was so strong in my love for me and had conquered so many demons when I met him. I lost all that I worked so hard to overcome. Now I’m a wreck struggling to find and love me again.
I want out of this forever 13 years is long enough
I want out of this forever
Hi I’m the same I want out for ever ive no support I’m so Alone ive nothing Left please help me through this thankyou 💯❣️👍
I really enjoyed basically floating from the bad and did see some light my mother passed away and she’s My everything I could actually feel My mum taken the dragging the Black water hole from around me and bringing me bk up slowly and finally being able to feel my first breath of life again because I really felt I was drowning OMG Melanie T thankyou 💯❣️👍 amazing Love AND Light 🕷️now I know I’m still trapped in the 🕷️ spiderweb I can see if I work inside of me I can break Free from the web oh thankyou so much x💪👊💙💕😭💔🕷️🕷️💯❣️
I am on a journey of healing after the realisation that I was a victim of narcassistic abuse from an ex coworker – a covert narcissist who gaslighted me and carried out malicious acts behind my back for the 3.5 years that I worked in the same practice as each other. I have some incredible support & have been reading a lot about how our childhood traumas shape who we are & how I ever came to be in this situation in the first place. The abuse repeats in my head like tinnitus & I am struggling but am making progress on my healing journey. This blog has really resonated with me & this exercise felt really good. As somebody who who would liked to practice meditation but always thought ‘But what do you think about to clear your mind of negative thoughts?’ I now have this gorgeous vision to focus on. Thank you.
In a very strange twist of fate I had a young girl knock at my door earlier this evening. She was lost and looking for a reception building on our holiday home park site where I am currently staying. It was dark and cold & she was upset. I reassured her everything was fine & I took her to the reception building myself. I had thought it a little strange that she had come so far off course and ended up knocking on my door of all the doors she could have picked but as soon as I tried to visualise my inner being I imagined myself as her, and how she visually relaxed and felt safe when I helped her. I’m a spiritual person & do feel ‘somebody up there’ looks after me and this really felt like her finding me was no accident, so that when I read your blog I could visualise her. Very strange but so comforting.
I want out of this forever.
I WANT OUT OF THIS FOREVER; Its all I have ever known..please help me… 501-258-3692…I had visions of abuse as a baby and she left me home alone while dad was at work. Dad NEVER KNEW until 81, his son was not his biological son, he was his son to him. He was electrocuted at age 20. I NEVER KNEW my mom was a COVERT MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC until 58 yrs old …I have been trauma bonded my whole life.
I married a Narcissist, lived next door to my COVERT Narcissistic Morher-in-Law and most likely my own 30 year old son, my only child, so I have been the family SCAPEGOAT. I need to SURVIVE AND THRIVE.
I saw visions the first module and I KNOW I NEED A SUPPORT PARTNER TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON RECOVERY. I AM 60. My diagnosis are: C-PTSD,
ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, AGORAPHOBIA, ADJUSTMENT DISORDER AND THE WORST IS AADHD. Im very intelligent but cant accomplish anything my mind is receiving her karma and I know it will take hard work maybe even inpatient treatment.
TO BE FREE AT 60 and to travel and be an example for you show to help others is a beautiful dream.🦋💕
Dear Melanie,
I want out of this forever, ever!!!! :o)
Had a very difficult week last week and yesterday was so tired that it remembered my depression as a young woman. I did healings, had headache and felt so so. Then as I was self sabotaging for a week I did my yoga. I slept well and felt normal again, today. With energy and more hope though my conditions did not change.
But this falling into this whole and feeling my life is a disaster is well known by my psychi. I want out of this forever.
Lots of love,
and Tku
Erica
Hi Erica,
please know what you have been feeling is such a normal and “battling” part of recovery!
I promise you it doesn’t have to be like this.
Have you heard of my upcoming Thrive? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/thrive
It is a 10 week Healing Bootcamp where I will help you shake this off and get up and out within this 10 weeks.
I hope that this helps!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I want out of this forever.
23 years marriage, lost four kids and all my property in the divorce. Had to start over with nothing and no one. Death would be better than this. Can’t endure the loss it is too much.